1. A Lua de Mel Acabou— A História de Adão e Eva

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A lua de mel é uma época deliciosa. A própria palavra transborda a novidade e o entusiasmo do amor dos jovens. O termo parece ter sido cunhado para transmitir a ideia de que a primeira lua ou o primeiro mês do casamento é o mais doce e o mais feliz de todos. Mas não é assim que deveria ser. Deus Se agradaria se os nossos casamentos ficassem melhores com o passar do tempo. Cada novo mês deveria ser mais doce e mais prazeroso que o anterior. Infelizmente, alguns casamentos acabam se tornando exatamente o que a palavra lua de mel sugere — o primeiro mês é o melhor, e depois tudo vai por água abaixo. Talvez possamos ajudar a reverter esta tendência examinando a Palavra de Deus.

A Escritura não fala exatamente isso, mas tenho a impressão de que a lua de mel de Adão e Eva durou bem mais de um mês.

Só Deus sabe quantos meses ou anos de puro êxtase se passaram entre os capítulos dois e três de Gênesis. Mas nenhum relacionamento humano jamais superou o deles naqueles primeiros dias de pura alegria e incrível deleite. Aquele casamento era, sem dúvida alguma, um casamento perfeito.

Pense nisso por um instante. Se já houve algum casamento feito nos céus, esse casamento foi o deles. Ele foi planejado e realizado com perfeição por um Deus perfeito. Primeiro, Deus esculpiu Adão (Gênesis 2:7). Modelado pelo Mestre da Criação, Adão, sem dúvida, tinha um belo corpo, atlético e sem defeito. E ele foi feito à imagem e semelhança do próprio Deus (Gênesis 1:27). Isso significa que tinha personalidade parecida com a de Deus — tudo perfeito: intelecto, emoções e vontade. Ele possuía uma mente brilhante, ainda não afetada pelo pecado. Suas emoções eram impecáveis, inclusive o amor, terno e totalmente abnegado, o amor do próprio Deus. E ele tinha uma vontade que estava em total sintonia com os propósitos do Seu Criador. Mulheres, quem de vocês não gostaria de um homem assim? Perfeito em tudo! No físico, na mente, nas emoções e no espírito.

Mas deixe-me falar sobre Eva. “Então, o SENHOR Deus fez cair pesado sono sobre o homem, e este adormeceu; tomou uma das suas costelas e fechou o lugar com carne. E a costela que o SENHOR Deus tomara ao homem, transformou-a numa mulher e lha trouxe” (Gênesis 2:21-22). Adão deve ter olhado para Eva com admiração e apreço. Ela era o melhor do gênio criativo de Deus; graça e beleza imaculada, rosto e corpo puros e belos. Moldada pela mão do próprio Deus, Eva devia ser a criatura mais extraordinária que já andou pela face da terra. E, como Adão, ela também foi feita à imagem de Deus. Sua mente, suas emoções e sua vontade ainda não tinham sido afetadas pelo pecado. Que homem não gostaria de ter uma mulher assim?

Adão imediatamente reconheceu a semelhança de Eva consigo mesmo. E disse: “Esta, afinal, é osso dos meus ossos e carne da minha carne; chamar-se-á varoa, porquanto do varão foi tomada” (Gênesis 2:23). Parece que, sem nenhuma revelação especial de Deus, Adão instintivamente soube que Eva fora feita dele; ela era parte dele; era sua igual; era sua companheira e contraparte. Ele a chamou de mulher, “varoa”. Ele a tomou para si com ternura. Ela acabou com a terrível solidão dele e encheu sua vida de felicidade. Ela era exatamente o que ele precisava. E nada deu a ela maior satisfação do que a garantia de que seu marido precisava muito dela. Que prazer intenso e indescritível eles encontraram na companhia um do outro! Como eles se amaram!

A casa deles ficava no Éden, o lugar perfeito (Gênesis 2:8). A palavra Éden significa “deleite”, e deleitoso ele era. Bem regado pela nascente de quatro rios, o Éden era um paraíso verdejante, recoberto com todo tipo de plantas belas e comestíveis (Gênesis 2:9-10). Eles cultivavam a terra, mas como não havia espinhos ou ervas daninhas para atrapalhar, seu trabalho era muito leve e agradável. Lado a lado, eles viviam e trabalhavam em perfeita harmonia, compartilhando um sentimento de interdependência mútua, desfrutando a liberdade de comunhão e comunicação, tendo uma afeição profunda que os unia em espírito. Eles eram inseparáveis.

Ah, havia uma ordem de autoridade no seu relacionamento. Adão foi feito primeiro, depois Eva, como o apóstolo Paulo teve o cuidado de mencionar (1 Timóteo 2:13). E Eva foi feita para Adão, não Adão para Eva, como Paulo demonstrou (1 Coríntios 11:9). Mas ela era sua auxiliadora (Gênesis 2:18) e, para ser uma auxiliadora idônea, ela tinha de compartilhar todas as coisas da vida com ele. Ela estava com ele quando Deus lhes deu a ordem para subjugar e dominar a terra; por isso, ela dividia igualmente essa tremenda responsabilidade com seu marido (Gênesis 1:28). Ela fazia tudo o que uma auxiliadora devia fazer. Ela o ajudava, incentivava, aconselhava e inspirava, e fazia tudo isso com um doce espírito de submissão. Adão nunca se ressentia da sua ajuda, nem mesmo dos seus conselhos. Afinal de contas, foi por isso que Deus a deu a ele. E nem ela se ressentia da sua liderança. A atitude dele nunca era maculada pela superioridade ou pela exploração. Como poderia? O amor dele era perfeito. Ela era alguém muito especial para ele e ele a tratava como tal.

Ele não poderia dar de si o suficiente para expressar sua gratidão a ela, e nunca tinha um pensamento sequer sobre o que recebia em troca. Não havia como ela se ressentir de uma liderança como essa.

A Palavra de Deus diz: “Ora, um e outro, o homem e sua mulher, estavam nus e não se envergonhavam” (Gênesis 2:25). Eles tinham uma relação de perfeita pureza e inocência. Não havia pecado neles. Não havia brigas entre eles. Eles estavam em paz com Deus, em paz consigo mesmo e em paz um com o outro. Aquele era verdadeiramente um casamento perfeito. Era o paraíso. Como gostaríamos que tivesse durado, que pudéssemos experimentar o mesmo grau de felicidade conjugal que eles desfrutaram naqueles dias gloriosos. Mas algo aconteceu.

A narrativa bíblica nos leva, em seguida, para a entrada do pecado. Não há dúvida de que o sutil tentador que se aproximou de Eva neste episódio foi Satanás usando o corpo de uma serpente (cf. Apocalipse 12:9). Sua primeira abordagem foi colocar em cheque a Palavra de Deus: “É assim que Deus disse: Não comereis de toda árvore do jardim?” (Gênesis 3:1). Depois de ter colocado em dúvida a Palavra de Deus, ele a negou categoricamente: “É certo que não morrereis.” (Gênesis 3:4). Finalmente, ele escarneceu de Deus e descaradamente distorceu Sua Palavra: “Porque Deus sabe que no dia em que dele comerdes se vos abrirão os olhos e, como Deus, sereis conhecedores do bem e do mal” (Gênesis 3:5). Tudo bem, eles conheceriam o mal, mas não seriam como Deus. Aliás, seriam exatamente o contrário. A semelhança com Deus de que desfrutavam seria manchada e estragada. Os métodos de Satanás não mudaram muito ao longo dos séculos. Sabemos muito bem disso — as dúvidas, as distorções, as negações. Nós também somos vítimas disso tudo. Podemos nos identificar com Eva em seu momento de fraqueza. Sabemos o que é ceder à tentação.

Satanás usou a árvore do conhecimento do bem e do mal para realizar seu trabalho sinistro. Deus havia colocado a árvore no jardim para ser símbolo da submissão de Adão e Eva a Ele (Gênesis 2:17), mas Satanás às vezes usa até mesmo coisas boas para nos afastar da vontade de Deus. “Vendo a mulher que a árvore era boa para se comer, agradável aos olhos e árvore desejável para dar entendimento, tomou-lhe do fruto e comeu e deu também ao marido, e ele comeu” (Gênesis 3:6). Já reparou que Eva foi tentada nas três áreas principais relacionadas em 1 João 2:16? 1) A concupiscência da carne — “boa para se comer”; 2) A concupiscência dos olhos — “agradável aos olhos”; 3) A soberba da vida — “para dar entendimento”. Estas são as mesmas áreas usadas por Satanás para nos deixar mal com Deus e com os outros — desejo de satisfazer nossos apetites físicos, desejo por coisas materiais e desejo de impressionar os outros com nossa importância.

Em vez de fugir da tentação, como mais tarde a Escritura nos exorta a fazer, Eva flertou com ela. Ela tinha tudo o que alguém poderia desejar, mas ficou ali e permitiu que sua mente pensasse na única coisa que ela não tinha, até que isso se tornou uma obsessão e fez sua alegre lua de mel chegar a um final infeliz. Desde então, esse mesmo tipo de desejo incontrolável tem acabado com a lua de mel de muitas pessoas. Maridos às vezes desperdiçam o dinheiro do supermercado com materiais de lazer, passatempos, carros e roupas. Esposas às vezes levam o marido a ganhar mais dinheiro para poderem ter coisas maiores, melhores e mais caras. E os bens materiais deste mundo acabam causando a separação entre eles. Quando permitimos que a nossa mente cobice coisas materiais, Deus chama isso de idolatria (Colossenses 3:5). E Ele nos exorta a fugir dela: “Portanto, meus amados, fugi da idolatria” (1 Coríntios 10:14).

Eva não fugiu. Ela “tomou-lhe do fruto e comeu” (Gn. 3:6). O texto não é claro, mas as palavras “deu também ao marido” talvez impliquem em que Adão a observava. Não temos ideia do por que ele não tentou impedi-la ou por que não se recusou a segui-la em seu pecado. Mas o que sabemos é que ele falhou lamentavelmente com ela nessa ocasião. Ele negligenciou a liderança espiritual que Deus queria que ele tivesse e, em vez disso, ele deixou Eva conduzi-lo ao pecado. Que influência poderosa tem uma mulher sobre seu marido! Ela pode usar sua influência para desafiá-lo a novos patamares de realizações espirituais ou para arrastá-lo às profundezas da vergonha. Deus deu Eva a Adão para ela ser sua auxiliadora, mas seu coração ansioso o destruiu.

Juntos, eles esperaram pelas novas delícias da sabedoria divina prometidas por Satanás. Em vez disso, uma sensação horrorosa de culpa e vergonha tomou conta deles. Seu espírito morreu no mesmo instante (Gênesis 2:17), e seu corpo físico começou um lento processo de degeneração que estragaria a bela obra-prima de Deus e, no final, acabaria na morte física. Era sobre isso que Paulo falava quando disse: “Portanto, assim como por um só homem entrou o pecado no mundo, e pelo pecado, a morte, assim também a morte passou a todos os homens, porque todos pecaram” (Romanos 5:12). Esse é o jeito do pecado. Promete demais e entrega de menos. O pecado promete liberdade, sabedoria e prazer, mas gera escravidão, culpa, vergonha e morte.

De repente, a nudez deles se tornou símbolo do seu pecado (Gênesis 3:17). Ela os expôs abertamente aos olhos penetrantes do Deus Santíssimo. Eles tentaram se cobrir com folhas de figueira, mas isso não era aceitável. Mais tarde Deus revelaria que a única cobertura adequada para o pecado envolveria o derramamento de sangue (Gênesis 3:21; Levítico 17:11; Hebreus 9:22).

Isso nos leva, finalmente, ao doloroso desfecho. O pecado vem acompanhado de consequências desastrosas, estejamos ou não dispostos a admitir nossa culpa. Adão jogou a culpa pela sua parte na tragédia sobre Eva e Deus: “A mulher que me deste por esposa, ela me deu da árvore, e eu comi” (Gênesis 3:12). Eva disse que foi enganada pela serpente (Gênesis 3:13). Quase da mesma forma, sempre tentamos jogar a culpa pelos nossos problemas conjugais em outra pessoa. “Se ela parasse de me encher a paciência, eu poderia…”; “Se ele me desse mais atenção, eu poderia…” Mas Deus responsabilizou os dois pelo que aconteceu, da mesma forma que Ele também nos responsabiliza pela nossa parte. E, geralmente, os dois lados são culpados. Deus quer que enfrentemos as consequências com honestidade, sem fazer rodeios.

As consequências foram quase maiores do que Adão e Eva poderiam suportar. Para Eva, a dor do parto seria um lembrete constante do seu pecado. Além disso, ela iria experimentar o desejo insaciável por seu marido, um desejo agudo de estar com ele, de ter sua atenção, sua afeição e sua segurança. Sua carência seria tão grande que seu marido pecador raramente estaria disposto a atendê-la.

E, finalmente, a autoridade que Adão tinha sobre ela desde a criação foi reforçada com a regra: “e ele te governará” (Gn. 3:16). Nas mãos de um homem pecador, essa regra às vezes resultaria num domínio cruel e impiedoso sobre ela — desrespeito pelos seus sentimentos e desprezo pelas suas opiniões. Eva, sem dúvida, aguçada pelo pecado, devia se encher de rancor quando Adão se afastava dela, lhe dava menos atenção e ficava mais ocupado com outras coisas. Amargura, ressentimento e rebelião começaram a tomar conta da sua alma.

Para Adão, cultivar o solo tornou-se uma tarefa interminável e tediosa. A ansiedade tomou conta da sua capacidade de prover o sustento da sua família, deixando-o agitado e irritado, e menos atencioso às necessidades de sua esposa. Como resultado, o conflito entrou em seu lar. O pecado sempre traz tensão, briga e conflito. E isso nunca foi tão dolorosamente evidente para Adão e Eva do que quando eles estavam ao lado do primeiro túmulo da história da raça humana. Seu segundo filho perdera a vida numa terrível briga de família. A lua de mel tinha acabado!

Esta seria a história mais triste que já se contou, não fossem os raios gloriosos de esperança com os quais Deus iluminou as trevas. Dirigindo-se a Satanás, ele disse: “Porei inimizade entre ti e a mulher, entre a tua descendência e o seu descendente. Este te ferirá a cabeça, e tu lhe ferirás o calcanhar” (Gênesis 3:15). Deus prometeu que o descendente da mulher, uma criança nascida na raça humana, destruiria as obras do diabo, inclusive o caos que ele tinha causado no lar. Esta é a primeira profecia bíblica a respeito da vinda do Redentor. E Ele já veio! Ele morreu pelos pecados do mundo. Seu sangue perfeito é a cobertura satisfatória para os pecados de cada ser humano que nEle crê. Ele nos dá o Seu perdão gratuitamente e nos restaura pelo Seu favor. E Ele nos concede a Sua força para nos ajudar a vencer o nosso pecado.

Ele pode até nos ajudar a superar as consequências do pecado em nossos relacionamentos conjugais. Ele pode dar aos maridos o mesmo amor terno e a mesma consideração abnegada que Adão teve por Eva antes de eles pecarem. Ele pode dar às esposas a mesma solicitude encorajadora e a mesma submissão afetuosa que Eva tinha para com Adão antes da queda. Em outras palavras, a lua de mel pode recomeçar. Mas, primeiro, é preciso receber Jesus Cristo como Salvador. Não há esperança de um relacionamento conjugal se tornar tudo o que pode sem que ambos, marido e esposa, recebam a garantia do perdão e da aceitação de Deus. Esta garantia só pode ser experimentada quando reconhecemos o nosso pecado e colocamos a nossa confiança no sacrifício perfeito de Jesus Cristo na cruz do Calvário, o qual nos libertou da condenação eterna merecida pelo nosso pecado.

Se você tem alguma dúvida, acabe com ela agora. Com toda sinceridade e franqueza, ore assim: “Senhor, reconheço meu pecado diante de Ti. Creio que Jesus Cristo morreu para me livrar da culpa do meu pecado, da pena pelo meu pecado e do controle do pecado em minha vida. Eis-me aqui, agora ponho minha confiança nEle como meu Salvador pessoal e O recebo em minha vida. Graças Te dou, Senhor Jesus, pois entraste na minha vida e perdoaste o meu pecado”. Quando você toma esta decisão, o caminho fica livre para Deus encher o seu coração da Sua ternura e do Seu amor, tirar o seu egoísmo e a sua teimosia, e lhe dar uma preocupação abnegada pelas necessidades do seu cônjuge. E você ainda pode desfrutar um pouquinho do paraíso.

Vamos conversar sobre isso

A questão da salvação eterna está bem resolvida na sua cabeça? Se não, existe alguma razão para você não resolvê-la agora?
Quais ingredientes que fizeram do casamento de Adão e Eva uma “lua de mel” podem ajudar no seu casamento?
De que forma Satanás pode usar o desejo de satisfazer as necessidades físicas para afetar o relacionamento entre marido e mulher atualmente? E o desejo por coisas materiais? E o desejo de ser reconhecido pelos outros?
De que forma uma esposa pode desafiar o marido a objetivos mais elevados? De que maneira uma esposa pode enfraquecer ou destruir seu marido?
O que maridos e esposas podem fazer para não jogar a culpa de seus problemas um no outro?
O que o marido pode fazer para satisfazer a tremenda carência de atenção e carinho de sua esposa?

Tradução: Mariza Regina de Souza

Related Topics: Christian Home, Marriage

Hidup dalam Kasih

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Translated by Stevy from English.

Living in Love: Secrets from Bible Marriages

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Living in Love was originally pubished in 1978 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. under the title Famous Couples in the Bible. The book has been scanned and is used by permission.

Indonesian Translation
Portuguese Translation

Português

Vivendo em amor: Os Segredos dos Casamentos Bíblicos

Viver em Amor originalmente foi publicado em 1978 por Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. sob o título "Casais Famosos da Biblia" (Famous Couples in the Bible). O livro foi escaneado e é usado com permissão.

Tradução: Mariza Regina de Souza de Inglés.

English

Think Again

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The Thinking process has stimulated many remarks concerning the thought process and the value and limitations of the mind. Although many commend and are committed to time spent in thought, Henry Ford once remarked, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it.” Some have pointed out certain dangers involved in the thinking process such as too much self esteem. Thus Spinoza observed, “Pride is therefore pleasure arising from a man’s thinking too highly of himself.”¹ As speech devoid of thinking,

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
Words without thought never to heaven go.²

Nevertheless, we need to be reminded of the necessity of sound thinking. Thus Sir Thomas Vaux declared,

When all is done and said,

In the end this shall you find:

He most of all doth bathe in bliss

That hath a quiet mind;

And, clear from worldly cares,

To deem can be content

The sweetest time in all his life

In thinking to be spent.³

Such is particularly the case in times when a person may be experiencing difficulties in his life. N. V. Peale therefore encouraged people to exercise sound thinking by dismissing negative thoughts: “To overcome troubles you must use the good mind God gave you. Think through and understand them. And you cannot think clearheadedly while seething with a sense of outrage, hating other people or life or even God for some harsh experience that has befallen you. Neither can you weep and wail about it—and at the same time think.”⁴

Paul’s admonition concerning the necessity and value of properly using one’s God-given mind is particularly apropos for believers. In what follows we shall note several scriptural passages concerning the dangers of faulty thinking and the need for exercising the sound mind that the Lord has entrusted to us.

Improper Thinking

It should be noted at the outset that the Scriptures plainly teach that man’s thinking and thoughts are too often incorrect. They are at times guided by such things as: incorrect or insufficient data, or misguided opinions and conclusions, or hasty decisions (cf. Prov. 21:5; 29:20). As the old saying expressed it: “haste makes waste,” whether in thinking or actions. This is especially true with regard to spiritual matters. Even the conclusions of many gifted teachers, philosophers or even religious leaders are ultimately simply finite observations. Indeed, man’s natural thinking is tied to “earthly things” (Phil. 3:19), hence too easily leads to unrighteous thoughts, which generate selfish attitudes and actions. Underlying all of this, of course, is that which led to man’s original sin—pride. Therefore, man recreates his god in terms of earthly values or things.

Rather than doing so, as God’s “offspring, we should not think the deity is like gold or silver or stone, an image made by human skill or imagination” (Acts 17:29).⁵ The same may be said of man too often conceiving of God in ways which are self pleasing and satisfying. The mindset of the natural man is thus fleshly and in strict contrast to that of a true, yielded believer in the Lord. The Apostle Paul declares, “Those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit” (Rom. 8:5). The contrast is a pronounced one, for Paul goes on to add, “The outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God nor is it able to do so. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you” (vv. 7-9). The warning and admonition in the ancient proverb still rings loud and true:

Pride goes before destruction
and a haughty spirit before a fall.
It is better to be lowly in spirit with the afflicted
than to share the spoils with the proud. (Prov. 16:18-19)

Man’s sense of self worth or pride is often mentioned or portrayed in the Bible. It is linked with many improper areas of thinking that lead to unholy attitudes or actions such as: “perverse utterances” (Prov. 8:13), “boastings” (Jer. 48:30), lack of concern for those in need such as the poor (Ezek. 16:49), and at the root of it all, indifference to or a mindset against “The Holy One of Israel” (Jer. 50:29). Indeed, “The biblical images of pride add up to such a repulsive figure that they would lead one to abhor it, yet the frequency with which it appears in the Bible suggests something of its perennial appeal to the sinful heart.”⁶ How understandable, then, is Paul’s admonition to the Roman Christians that they should not “think too highly of yourself than you ought to think” Rom. 12:3). As we shall see below, rather than being prideful, people should follow Jesus’ own example of humility (cf. Matt. 11:29; Phil. 2:6-8).

Ungodly pride can lead to selfish greed. Such was pointed out long ago by David:

Yes, the wicked man boasts because he gets what he wants;
the one who robs others curses and rejects the LORD.
The wicked man is so arrogant he always thinks,
“God won’t hold me accountable, he doesn’t care.”
He is secure at all times.
He has no regard for your commands. (Ps. 10:3-5a)

Indeed, all too easily a person’s prideful greed can lead to the disregard of or the taking advantage of others. Moreover, from their arrogance arises not only a disdain for the standards of God but even a disdain for the Lord himself. As Van Gemeren remarks, “These greedy have no regard for God or his commandments.… Their goal in life is a purposeful avoidance of God.... They are not atheists but instead have conveniently chosen to live without God.… Worship of the creator-covenantal God has been exchanged for worship of themselves.”⁷ Such a prideful, arrogant thinking individual is an example of someone who is self-deceived. In his preoccupation with himself he mistakenly imagines that he is the master of his own little world and that he is the only one that matters. As Paul warned the Galatian believers, “If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Gal. 6:3). In their preoccupation with themselves, some may on the one hand even consider themselves and their desires to be supremely important in life and yet on the other hand, think themselves to be maintaining a religious course of life (cf. Col. 1:20-23). Such, however, follow a false religiosity and are gravely in error. James warns with regard to someone who goes through the motions of religion yet is not profited spiritually by it to such an extent that that he even disdains or disparages others:

If someone thinks he is religious, yet does not bridle his tongue, and so deceives his heart, his religion is futile. Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their misfortune and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (James 1:26-27)

Is what a person thinks or desires all that matters? Think again! The Scriptures are quite clear in pointing out that improper thinking such as selfish desires and greed leads too readily to improper or fleshly attitudes and actions. As Paul writes to the Galatians:

For the flesh has desires that are opposed to the Spirit and the Spirit has desires that are opposed to the flesh, for these are in opposition to each other so that you cannot do what you want…. Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, depravity, idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions, envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I have warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Gal. 5:17, 19-21; cf. Col. 3:5-10)

Accordingly, it is essential for all people, not only unbelievers but believers as well, to develop and pursue proper thinking—thinking that is in accordance with God’s thoughts.

Proper Thinking

God and Thinking. Basic to understanding the relation between God’s thoughts and man’s is the realization that the Lord is omniscient (Isa. 40:28). Therefore, he has a depth of wisdom, knowledge, and thinking that is beyond the grasp of human intelligence (Ps. 139:6; cf. Ps 92:5). Thus the Lord spoke through Isaiah saying,

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
and your ways are not My ways.
This is the LORD’s declaration.
For as heaven is higher than earth,
so My ways are higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isa. 55:8-9; NASB)

Commenting on God’s declaration, Edward Young says, “The ways and thoughts of God are incomprehensible to man. Even though God reveal them to man, he cannot fully understand them; to him they are incomprehensible.”⁸ Smith adds: “Surely there are few similarities between God and the wicked, but there are some similarities between the righteous believer who reads or hears about thoughts and ways and attempts to live a life consistent with God’s instructions. Nevertheless, even with these few similarities with the righteous, it is not hard to accept the idea that God’s plans and purposes are exceedingly higher than anything the smartest righteous person has ever thought or imagined.” ⁹ All too often people may think that God does not see, know, or care about what they are doing. To the contrary, they should be aware of the fact that the Lord is so fully aware of them and their deeds that he even knows their thoughts and their motives (Ps: 94: 3-11). For example, Isaiah reports the Lord as saying,

“As for those who consecrate and ritually purify themselves so they can follow their leader and worship in the sacred orchards, those who eat the flesh of pigs and other disgusting creatures, like mice—they will all be destroyed together,” says the LORD. “I hate their deeds and thoughts.” (Isa. 66:17-18)

Indeed, the Lord knows the thoughts and motives all people—not just the wicked. Accordingly, when David was turning the kingdom over to his son Solomon, he admonished him:

“And you, Solomon my son, obey the God of your fathers and serve him with a submissive attitude and a willing spirit, for the LORD examines all minds and understands every motive of one’s thoughts. If you seek him, he will let you find him, but if you abandon him, he will reject you permanently.” (1 Chron. 28:9)

Although David’s charge to Solomon, his son and successor, was aimed at the necessity for Solomon to follow the Lord’s intentions and directions for building the temple, the principle that lay behind David’s words is true and exceedingly applicable. God does indeed have an intricate knowledge of man’s thoughts, motives, attitudes, and desires. As David pleads with the Lord elsewhere,

May the evil deeds of the wicked come to an end!
But make the innocent (the godly) secure,
O righteous God,
you who examines the inner thoughts and motives. (Ps. 7:9; cf. Jer. 11:20)

In harmony with all of this, David begins Psalm 139 by openly acknowledging that the Lord knows him thoroughly, including his every thought and action:

O LORD, you examine me and know.
You know when I sit down and when I get up;
even when far away you understand my motives.
You carefully observe me when I travel or when I lie down to rest,
you are aware of everything I do.
Certainly my tongue does not frame a word
without you, O LORD, being thoroughly aware of it.

Appropriately, Leupold observes, “Before the thought has taken shape to the point where it can be cast into the appropriate word, God knows what it is going to be. This is knowledge superlative.”¹⁰ David admits that such awareness is “beyond my comprehension” (v.6). “How difficult it is for me to fathom your thoughts about me, O God! How vast is their sum total!” (v.17). Yet because David knows that God’s omniscience means that the Lord understands David better than does David himself, he goes on to plead with the Lord to examine his thoughts so that David might be led to living a thoroughly righteous life before the Lord.

Examine me and probe my thoughts!
Test me, and know my concerns!
See if there is any idolatrous tendency in me!
and lead me in the reliable ancient path! (vv. 23-24)

David’s prayerful thoughts are reflected in the familiar hymn by J. Edwin Orr:

Search me, O God, and know my heart today;
Try me, O Savior, know my thoughts I pray.
See if there be some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from ev’ry sin and set me free.

….

Lord, take my life and make it wholly Thine;
Fulfill Thy word and make me pure within.
Take all my will, my passion, self and pride;
I now surrender, Lord—in me abide.¹¹

Applying David’s desires to Christian believers, Futato remarks,

“I want the Lord to know me, so that I can know myself better. I want the Lord to know me, so that he can ‘lead me along the path of everlasting life’ (139:24) and that path is walked in a humble and loyal relationship with the God who knows me (139:1-6), who is always present with me (139:7-12), and who cares for me (139:13-18)—all because of his love for me in the Lord Jesus Christ.”¹²

God’s thoughts toward people carry a genuine concern for them. Thus in his concern for peoples’ spiritual health and true welfare, God continues to reveal his thoughts and standards to them (Amos 4:13). Therefore, people should gladly and willingly submit to the Lord, not only for God’s glory but for their own good. The psalmist’s words, though designed specifically for his people Israel, doubtless have application for all believers:

How blessed is the one whom you instruct, O LORD,
the one whom you teach from your law.
Certainly the LORD does not forsake his people. (Ps. 94: 13-14a)

It is likewise simply the case also that the old proverb in God’s everlasting Word remains pertinent:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding.
Acknowledge him in all you ways,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own estimation;
fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
This will bring healing to your body
and refreshment to your inner self. (Prov. 3:5-8)

As Buzzell rightly observes, “This means more than guidance; it means God removes the obstacles, making a smooth path or way of life, or perhaps better, bringing one to the appointed goal.”¹³

Man and Thinking. The Scriptures do invite people to participate in active, even deep, thinking (cf. Prov. 22:17). Indeed, many human examples of such a process (e.g., Einstein) could be cited. On a time-honored popular level the example of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes remains a classic standard. One is reminded of Holmes’ famous maxim: “When you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”¹⁴ Put another way, one might say, “When you have eliminated the seemingly impossible, and exhausted all seemingly possible conclusions, then something of the seemingly impossible, however improbable, must be possible.” It is a maxim that atheists, agnostics, and skeptics could well heed. Indeed, as the Scriptures point out, people may even profit by listening to wise counsel (cf. Prov. 1-9), especially when it is clothed with godly wisdom (e.g., Prov. 2:1-6).

Quite obviously, as we have noted above, the thinking capacity even of a redeemed, believing person, however well educated and informed, can never equal or even approximate the thinking of the omniscient God (cf. Pss. 40:5; 139:17; Eph. 3:20). Left to themselves, the wisest people, even believers, may at times be foolish in their thinking (cf. Ps. 73: 21-22). For example, even though some may find this difficult to understand, as not only an omniscient God, but as a loving Lord he is concerned for people’s welfare. Some may think, “If God really did exist, he would be too great and too occupied with cosmic affairs to examine men’s minds, much less guide his thinking or be concerned for their situation.” Thus the psalmist asks:

O LORD, of what importance is the human race,
that you should notice them?
Of what importance is mankind,
that you should be concerned about them? (Ps. 144:3).

Upon reviewing God’s essential power and goodness, however, he eagerly concludes, “How blessed are the people whose God is the LORD” (Ps. 144:15b). Thus by allowing God to control the thought processes, foolish thinking can be reversed, so as to allow a person to be guided by the Lord’s counsel (Ps 73: 24; cf. Ps. 7:9b). When he realizes this fully, he will desire and consistently seek God’s mind and will for his life. For he will have come to understand that God’s will is not only the best for him, but as a concerned God, “The Lord is near!” (Phil. 4:5; cf. Ps 34:18-20) to help and care for him.

Indeed, all people need to come to grips with the fact that (as we have seen) God does know their thoughts and desires. This is especially true for believers. As redeemed by Christ, believers can and should utilize godly thinking in their lives. As Paul admonishes the Colossians, believers need to overcome their preoccupation with self and everyday matters and, “keep thinking about things above, not on things earth, for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:2-3; cf. Rom 8:5). As Bruce remarks,

“Don’t let your ambitions be earthbound, set on transitory and inferior objects. Don’t look at life and the universe from the standpoint of these lower planes; look at them from Christ’s exalted standpoint. Judge everything by the standards of that new creation to which you now belong, not by those of the old order to which you have said a final farewell.”¹⁵

There is indeed, then, such a thing as proper thinking. Believers have the greatest example of proper thinking in the Lord Jesus himself. Among Jesus’ departing words to his disciples was the declaration “I am doing just what the Father commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father” (John 14:31). In his farewell prayer to the Father he points out that he had “glorified the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4) and adds further, “Now they understand that everything you have given me comes from you, because I have given them the words you have given me. They accepted them and really understand that I came from you and they believe that you sent me” (vv. 7-8). Thus Jesus demonstrates to his disciples that his thoughts and resulting actions were because he was reproducing the Fathers thoughts and will.

Still further, Jesus revealed that after his departure, he would send the Holy Spirit who will, “Guide you into all truth,” and will, “receive from me what is mine and will tell it to you” (John 16: 13, 15). As Tenney points out, “Through the Holy Spirit every Christian can be provided with individual authoritative instruction.”¹⁶ Thus as Jesus reproduced the Father’s thoughts and will, so the Holy Spirit delivers the thoughts and instructions of Christ and the Father to believers in order that they may think and act in accordance with the divine perspective.

As those united to Christ, then, believers are enabled through the Holy Spirit’s guidance to think and act in accordance with Jesus’ example. As did the Apostle Paul, believers should “take every thought captive to make it obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). In so doing their very lives will be transformed. As Paul admonished the Roman Christians, if believers are to grow in their spiritual walk, they must,

Present your bodies as a sacrifice—alive, holy, and pleasing to God—which is your reasonable service. Do not be conformed to the present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect. (Rom 12:1-2)

Thus Cranfield wisely remarks, a believer should “allow himself to be transformed continually, remoulded, remade, so that his life here and now may more and more clearly exhibit signs and tokens of the coming order of God—that order which has already come—in Christ.”¹⁷ Such can indeed be accomplished by freely yielding to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and instruction.

In this regard, an examination of the word “transformed” is most helpful. The Grreek background of the verb rendered “transformed,-- metamoprhoomai informs us that this word was used in a variety of ways. Meaning basically “to change into another form,” that transformation could involve not only an outward change easily perceived by the senses, but on occasion, an inward spiritual one as well. The root idea is appropriately used in a number of fields of knowledge. Geologists apply it to rocks whose structure is so completely altered that their original form is no longer seen, calling them “metamorphic” rocks. Biologists use it to designate changes in the natural world by which creatures adapt to a new environment or way of living, such as tadpoles becoming frogs, and term it “metamorphosis.” Certain linguists speak of processes whereby meanings in the deep structure are transformed into the resultant words of the surface structure of the sentence.

The verb appears only three times in the New Testament but is especially instructive for Christian living in each case. Paul reminds the believer that, having presented himself as a living sacrifice, the whole person, inside out, is to “go on being transformed” in realizing the will of God (Rom.12:1-2). There is a metamorphic process that is to take place in ourselves, to conform us to “the image of his Son” (Rom. 8:29), that involves an attitude of full surrender to Christ, But, granted this truth, how can that metamorphic, sanctifying process be fully realized? The two other contexts in which this verb is employed suggest two other avenues whereby the Christian can grow in grace.

In the first instance (Matt. 17:1-2) metamorphoomai is used of Christ’s transfiguration. Matthew reports that on that occasion Christ’s essential inner excellence shone out so brightly that not only was his intrinsic glory seen but his very clothing glistened with dazzling brightness. The parallel account in Luke 9:29 makes it clear that Jesus’ transformation took place “as he prayed,” This suggests that one means for the believer’s growth in grace is through prayer. Time spent in daily communion with God to know his mind and will allows the structure of our beings, already dramatically changed at conversion, to be further transformed. By knowing God better, we learn to think his thoughts after him and so to be like him.

In 2 Corinthians 3:18 Paul reports that the Holy Spirit also brings to the believer full liberty to behold the glory of the Lord in the Scriptures and thereby to be “changed, into the same image from glory to glory.” Thus, beholding the living Word in the written Word and submitting to its precepts brings such a transformational change in the depths of our beings that it must surface in the activities of our daily lives. Believers are programmed for holy living in a new, changed life situation (2 Cor. 5:17). The word metamorphoomai reminds us of the means that we have for allowing the sanctifying work, the metamorphic process of the Holy Spirit, to be effective: (a godly mind and attitude of full commitment to Christ, (2) an effective prayer life, and (3) the consistent study of God’s Word.

Paul goes on in Romans 12:3 to point out some of the results of the transformational process: (1) it will enable believers to think “with sober discernment.”; (2) it will perfect their faith; (3) It will produce genuine humility –a humility that reflects Jesus’ own humbling of himself to the Father’s will (cf. Matt 11:29). Paul also reflects this in his advice to the Philippians by saying, “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others, as well” (Phil. 2:3-4). As Phil Comfort remarks:

A humble mind is the key to cooperative unity. Humility is the realization that we are creatures who are totally dependent on God, the Creator. If we are really humble before God, we are totally relying on God. This affects our attitude toward others, for as equally dependent creatures, we cannot take pride in ourselves.¹⁸

Paul then goes on to point to Christ as the ultimate example of humility and concern for others (Phil 2:5-7). Despite being fully divine, he was willing to assimilate human nature to his being and truly be concerned for the human beings, while submitting to the Father’s will in order to accomplish man’s redemption. This he did at the cost of his own life: “He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross!” (Phil. 2:8). As Comfort goes on to say, “Christ is put forth as the ultimate example of someone who cooperated with the divine will of his Father by exhibiting humility to the utmost.”¹⁹

By following Jesus’ example of true humility, believers will be enabled to live their redeemed life “with awe and reverence” (Phil. 2:12). And as they do so, even the thought of Jesus their redeemer and hope becomes very precious.

Jesus the very thought of Thee,
With sweetness fills my breast;
But greater far Thy face to see
And in Thy presence rest.²⁰

The believer’s life becomes one where his thoughts and desires are to follow the Lord in full dependence on his leading. Such will become evident in the believer’s everyday life and conduct. Full submission to the Lord will involve a life of prayer in order to know and follow God’s will. As Paul admonishes the Philippians,

Be not anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)

The believer will also understand more clearly the will of God as revealed in the Word of God and motivate him to share that Word with others. As Paul tells the Colossians:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and exhorting one another with all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, all with grace in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:16-17)

Thus Paul could serve as an example to the Philippian believers saying,

What ever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things; and what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you. (Phil. 4:8-9)

James also points to the fruit of exercising godly wisdom declaring,

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and not hypocritical. And the fruit that consists of righteousness is planted in peace among those who make peace. (James 3:17-18)

Such peace involves a total well-being of person, a full, healthy personal relationship with others, and above all, a complete and perfect identity in heart and mind with the Lord.

May we as believers always seek the mind of the Lord so as to do that which is proper and well-pleasing to him. As Kate Wilkinson expressed it,

May the mind of Christ my Savior
Live in me from day to day.
By His love and pow’r controlling
All I do and say.
May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His pow’r.²¹

Ah, then, you who claim, “I am all that really matters.” Think again! Rather than living for self, by having the mind of the Lord and living for him, a person’s life will be of far greater value both now and eternally.

May we truly be able to say,

All that I am and have—Thy gifts so free—
In joy, in grief, thru life, dear Lord for Thee!
And when Thy face I see, my ransomed soul shall be,
Thru all eternity, something for Thee.²²

¹ Benedict [Baruch] Spinoza, Ethics, III, proposition 2, note as cited in John Bartlett, Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, ed. Justin Kaplan, 16th ed. (Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1992), 278.

² William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene iii, line 97, as cited in Bartlett, 197.

³ Sir Thomas Vaux, as cited in Masterpieces of Religious Verse, ed. James Dalton Morrison (New York: Harper, 1948), 440.

⁴ Norman Vincent Peale, as cited in Lloyd Cory, Quotable Quotations (Wheaton: Scripture Press, 1989), 399. Cory (ibid.) also quotes C. Neil Strait as saying, “Negative thoughts poison the mind. What a mind poisoned with negative thoughts contributes, then, to life is not progress, but problems.”

⁵ Unless otherwise noted, all scriptural citations are taken from the NET Bible.

⁶ “Pride,” in Dictionary of Biblical Imagery, eds. Leland Ryken, James C. Wilhoit, and Tremper Longman III (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1998), 662.

⁷ Willem A. VanGemeren, “Psalms,” The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, eds. Tremper Longman III and David E. Garland 13 vols. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, rev. ed., 2008) 5: 156.

⁸ Edward J. Young, The Book of Isaiah, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament, 3 vols. (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1972) 3:383.

⁹ Gary V. Smith, Isaiah 40-66, New American Commentary, ed. E. Ray Clendenen (Nashville; Broadman and Holman, 2009), 510.

¹⁰ H. C. Leupold, Exposition of the Psalms (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1969), 944.

¹¹ J. Edwin Orr, Cleanse Me (verses1,3).

¹² Mark D. Futato, “Psalms,” in Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, ed. Philip W. Comfort, 18 vols. (Carol Stream: Tyndale House, 2009)16:140.

¹³ Sid S. Buzzell, “Proverbs,” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary, eds. John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck (Wheaton: Victor Books, Scripture Press, 1985), 911. See also, Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 1-15, The New International Commentary (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2004) 243-47.

¹⁴ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet,” in The Complete Sherlock Holmes (New York: Barnes & Noble, 1992), 315. See also this maxim in “The Sign of the Four,” ibid., 111.

¹⁵ F. F. Bruce, “Colossians,” in The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians, The New International Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids; Eerdmans, 1984), 134.

¹⁶ Merrill C. Tenney, John: The Gospel of Belief (Grand rapids: Eerdmans, 1976), 238.

¹⁷ C. E B. Cranfield, The Epistle to the Romans, The International Critical Commentary, 2.vols. (Edinburgh: T & T Clark, 1979) 2: 608.

¹⁸ Phil W. Comfort, “Philippians,” in Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, 18 vols. (Carol Stream: Tyndale House, 2008) 16:168.

¹⁹ Comfort, ibid., 173.

²⁰ Bernard of Clairvaux, trans. Edward Caswell, “Jesus the Very Thought of Thee.”

²¹ Kate B. Wilkinson, “May the Mind of Christ My Savior.”

²² Sylvanus D. Phelps, “Something for Thee.”

2. Sim, Meu Senhor — A História de Abraão e Sara

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Deus disse a Eva: “o teu desejo será para o teu marido, e ele te governará” (Gênesis 3:16). Isso foi parte das dificuldades causadas à mulher pelo pecado, e é interessante observar que os principais relacionamentos entre marido e mulher que se seguem nas Escrituras ilustram a submissão da esposa ao governo do marido. Sara é elogiada duas vezes pelos escritores do Novo Testamento: uma por sua fé (Hebreus 11:11) e outra por sua submissão ao marido (1 Pedro 3:5-6). O apóstolo Pedro foi ainda mais longe quando disse que ela “obedeceu a Abraão, chamando-lhe senhor”.

Em nossa cultura, nem sonharíamos em pedir a uma esposa que chamasse o marido de “senhor”, mas, naquela época, essa era a forma de Sara expressar sua submissão. Por mais estranho que pareça, estes dois princípios, fé e submissão, realmente andam juntos. Para a esposa, submissão é, basicamente, crer que Deus opera por meio do seu marido para realizar aquilo que é melhor para ela. E esta é a história da vida de Sara com Abraão.

Em primeiro lugar, vamos examinar a fonte da fé. A história começou em Ur, próspera metrópole perto da antiga costa do Golfo Pérsico. Um homem, pelo menos, se enchia de repulsa diante da idolatria e do pecado daquela cidade, pois havia conhecido o único Deus vivo e verdadeiro: “Ora, disse o SENHOR a Abrão: Sai da tua terra, da tua parentela e da casa de teu pai e vai para a terra que te mostrarei; de ti farei uma grande nação, e te abençoarei, e te engrandecerei o nome. Sê tu uma bênção! Abençoarei os que te abençoarem e amaldiçoarei os que te amaldiçoarem; em ti serão benditas todas as famílias da terra” (Gênesis 12:1-3). Armado com essa poderosa promessa, Abraão levantou acampamento e, com Tera, seu pai, Ló, seu sobrinho, e Sara, sua esposa, deu início à longa jornada para o norte, ao longo do crescente fértil, rumo à cidade de Harã.

Mudar-se não é divertido, principalmente quando a empresa de mudanças é um camelo ou uma mula, e especialmente quando você nem sabe para aonde vai! “Pela fé, Abraão, quando chamado, obedeceu, a fim de ir para um lugar que devia receber por herança; e partiu sem saber aonde ia” (Hebreus 11:8). Talvez isso bem mais difícil para a mulher do que para o homem. Sara não é mencionada neste versículo, mas sua fé está ali, tão firme quanto a de Abraão. Ela sabia que Deus a sustentaria durante aquela árdua jornada e mostraria a seu marido o lugar que Ele havia escolhido para eles.

Sara não era uma cabeça-oca, fraca, sem personalidade, excessivamente dependente. Seus pais lhe deram o nome de Sarai, e os nomes tinham significado no antigo mundo bíblico. O dela queria dizer “princesa”. Talvez seu nome descrevesse sua grande beleza, a qual é mencionada duas vezes no relato inspirado (Gênesis 12:11, 14). É possível também que descrevesse sua criação, sua educação refinada, seu encanto e suas maneiras graciosas. Quando Deus mudou seu nome para Sara, Ele não retirou a conotação de princesa, mas acrescentou a dignidade de ser mãe. Nesse contexto, ela é chamada de “a mãe das nações” (Gênesis 17:15-16, ARC).

Sara era uma mulher inteligente e capaz. Mas, quando se casou com Abraão, ela teve de tomar uma decisão. Ela estabeleceu como missão ajudar o marido a realizar os propósitos de Deus para ele. Isso não foi fraqueza. Foi a vontade de Deus para a vida dela: a verdadeira submissão bíblica. Algumas esposas têm sistematicamente sabotado o plano divino para o marido por não estarem dispostas a crer em Deus e se entregar à Sua sabedoria. Elas simplesmente não acreditam que Deus use seu marido para fazer o que é melhor. Elas acham que precisam colaborar com Deus tentando dominar o marido.

Parece que o pai de Abraão não quis prosseguir quando eles chegaram a Harã. Ele era idólatra (Josué 24:2), e a cidade de Harã lhe convinha perfeitamente para passar o resto da vida. Ele atrasou os planos de Deus para Abraão, mas não pôde destruí-los. Com a morte de Tera, Abraão, então com 75 anos de idade, deixou Harã e foi para a terra que Deus lhe prometera (Gênesis 12:4). Foi outra mudança para um lugar desconhecido, mas ao lado dele estava Sara, uma mulher de submissão e fé (Gênesis 12:5). Os dias por vir veriam sua fé severamente testada e sua submissão, duramente provada.

Em segundo lugar, vamos explorar as contínuas lutas da fé. A fé cresce quando está sob ataque. Quem ora para Deus afastar seus problemas pode estar pedindo uma vida espiritual deficiente. Às vezes, a nossa fé vacila diante do estresse, mas quando reconhecemos nossas falhas e aceitamos o perdão de Deus, mesmo essas falhas podem contribuir para o nosso crescimento espiritual. Abraão e Sara são elogiados nas Escrituras pela sua grande fé, mas suas falhas foram registradas para nossa instrução e encorajamento.

O primeiro ataque veio logo após eles terem entrado em Canaã. Havia grande fome na terra e Abraão decidiu deixar o lugar que Deus lhe prometera, fugindo para o Egito (Gênesis 12:10). Se ele tivesse consultado Sara, ela poderia ter-lhe mostrado a tolice de sua decisão, mas, como muitos homens, ele levou adiante seu plano sem levar em conta as dificuldades que poderia causar a ela. Muitos homens não gostam de pedir conselho à esposa. Eles acham que sua autoridade lhes dá a prerrogativa de fazer o que bem entendem sem conversar com a esposa para chegar a um acordo mutuamente aceitável. Eles receiam que elas encontrem falhas em sua lógica ou desmascarem seu egoísmo tacanho. Por isso, seguem em frente com seus planos e toda família acaba sofrendo com isso.

Quando se aproximaram do Egito, Abraão disse à esposa: “Ora, bem sei que és mulher de formosa aparência; os egípcios, quando te virem, vão dizer: É a mulher dele e me matarão, deixando-te com vida. Dize, pois, que és minha irmã, para que me considerem por amor de ti e, por tua causa, me conservem a vida” (Gênesis 12:11-13). Isso foi um tributo à beleza de Sara, a qual, aos 65 anos de idade, ainda era tão irresistível que Abraão pensou que os egípcios pudessem matá-lo por causa dela. E a beleza de Sara não estava só nos olhos dele. “Tendo Abrão entrado no Egito, viram os egípcios que a mulher era sobremaneira formosa. Viram-na os príncipes de Faraó e gabaram-na junto dele; e a mulher foi levada para a casa de Faraó” (Gênesis 12:14-15). Mesmo achando que eles o matariam para ficar com ela, Abraão tinha certeza de que o tratariam como convidado de honra se pensassem nela como sua irmã. E ele não estava errado. Eles lhe deram muitos servos e animais por causa dela (Gn. 12:16). Bem, tecnicamente, Sara era sua irmã, sua meia-irmã (Gn. 20:12). Esse tipo de casamento não era incomum naquela época. Mas o que Abraão disse a faraó era apenas meia-verdade, e meias-verdades são mentiras nas coisas de Deus. Deus não pode aceitar o pecado.

Por que Sara consentiu com esse plano pecaminoso? Este não seria o caso onde a obediência a Deus era melhor que obediência ao marido? Creio que sim. A esposa não tem obrigação de obedecer ao marido quando essa obediência compromete a vontade claramente revelada de Deus (cf. Atos 5:29). Sara tinha uma boa justificativa para não obedecer ao marido. Mas isso não mostraria o quão profunda era sua fé e sua submissão. Sara acreditava na promessa feita por Deus a Abraão de que ele seria pai de uma grande nação. Já que eles ainda não tinham filhos, ela era dispensável, mas Abraão tinha de viver e ter filhos, mesmo se fosse com outra mulher.

Talvez ela também acreditasse que Deus interviria e a livraria antes de acontecer alguma imoralidade, o que era bastante provável, dado o tamanho do harém de faraó. Da mesma forma, talvez ela acreditasse que Deus a uniria novamente ao marido e os resgataria das mãos de faraó. E, devido ao que ela acreditava, ela acabou se submetendo. Deus os teria protegido mesmo sem o plano egoísta de Abraão, mas a fé em Deus e a submissão de Sara ao marido são lindamente ilustradas nesta narrativa do Antigo Testamento. O verdadeiro teste para a submissão de uma esposa pode vir quando ela sabe que o marido está cometendo um erro.

É difícil imaginar como um homem pode descer tanto quanto Abraão nesta ocasião. Até o rei pagão o censurou pelo que ele fez (Gênesis 12:18-20). Abraão falhou miseravelmente com Sara, mas Deus foi fiel a ela. Ele honrou sua fé e a livrou. Deus nunca abandona quem confia nEle. Nós poderíamos pensar que, depois dessa experiência, a lição sobre o cuidado soberano de Deus teria ficado gravado de forma tão indelével na alma de Abraão, que ele nunca mais comprometeria sua esposa para se proteger. Mas ele comprometeu. Cerca de vinte anos mais tarde, ele fez exatamente a mesma coisa com Abimeleque, rei de Gerar (Gênesis 20:1-8). Isso mostra como um fiel pode ser fraco e sem fé. Há pecados que talvez achemos que nunca mais iremos cometer, mas é preciso ter muito cuidado, pois é exatamente aí aonde Satanás vai nos atacar. O surpreendente é que Sara foi novamente submissa, e novamente Deus a livrou, mais uma evidência da sua fé e da fidelidade de Deus.

Outro motivo de grande tensão para a fé de Abraão e Sara é revelado nesta afirmação: “Ora, Sarai, mulher de Abrão, não lhe dava filhos” (Gênesis 16:1). Em breve Deus mudaria o nome de Abrão para Abraão, de “pai exaltado” para “pai de uma multidão”. Mas como Abraão poderia ser pai de uma multidão quando nem tinha filho? Agora era a vez de Sara usar a engenhosidade humana para dar um jeito na situação. Ela ofereceu a Abraão sua escrava egípcia, Agar, para que ele tivesse um filho com ela. Sua sugestão, temos de admitir, mostrou que ela acreditava que Deus manteria Sua palavra e daria um filho a Abraão. Obviamente, ela foi motivada por seu amor a Abraão e pelo desejo de ele ter um filho. E, dividir o marido com outra mulher, deve ter sido um dos maiores sacrifícios que ela poderia fazer. Mas esse não era o jeito de Deus. Era só mais uma solução carnal. E o jeito de Deus sempre é o melhor, mesmo quando Ele não faz aquilo que achamos necessário naquele momento.

Muitas vezes, nós, terráqueos preocupados com o tempo, ficamos ressentidos com a demora de Deus e cuidamos do assunto pessoalmente, em geral, para nossa própria tristeza. Se aprendêssemos a manter a confiança em Deus quando a situação parecesse ruim, pouparíamos a nós mesmos de muito sofrimento.

Esse pecado impulsivo afetou o relacionamento de Abraão e Sara. Agar engravidou e acabou se tornando orgulhosa e incontrolável. Sara jogou a culpa em Abraão, quando, na verdade, a ideia foi dela mesma. Depois, ela tratou Agar com rispidez, e sua grosseria revelou a amargura e o ressentimento da sua alma. Enquanto isso, Abraão se esquivava da sua responsabilidade. Antes de tudo, ele deveria ter dito “não” ao plano pecaminoso de Sara. Mas agora ele lhe diz para cuidar do problema sozinha, fazer o que quiser e parar de encher a paciência dele com isso (Gênesis 16:6).

É difícil para uma esposa ser submissa a um banana, um homem que não enfrenta seus problemas, fica em cima do muro e se esquiva de suas responsabilidades. Não há a quem se submeter, não há liderança a seguir. A esposa não pode ajudar o marido a cumprir o propósito de Deus para a vida dele quando ela nem sabe o que ele pretende.

Até mesmo grandes homens e mulheres de fé têm seus momentos de fraqueza. E, para Abraão e Sara, não houve momento pior do que quando eles se riram de Deus. Os dois riram. Deus disse a Abraão que abençoaria Sara e a faria mãe de nações. Reis de povos procederiam dela. Abraão se prostrou com o rosto em terra e se riu, dizendo: “A um homem de cem anos há de nascer um filho? Dará à luz Sara com seus noventa anos?” (Gênesis 17:17). Abraão tentou fazer Deus aceitar Ismael como seu herdeiro, mas Deus lhe disse: “De fato, Sara, tua mulher, te dará um filho, e lhe chamarás Isaque; estabelecerei com ele a minha aliança, aliança perpétua para a sua descendência” (Gênesis 17:19).

A seguir, foi a vez de Sara. O Senhor apareceu na tenda de Abraão na pessoa de um visitante, e Sara o ouviu dizer: “Certamente voltarei a ti, daqui a um ano; e Sara, tua mulher, dará à luz um filho” (Gênesis 18:10). Ela estava escutando na porta da tenda, e se riu, dizendo: “Depois de velha, e velho também o meu senhor, terei ainda prazer?” (Gênesis 18:12). A propósito, foi assim que Pedro soube que ela chamou Abraão de “senhor”. A submissão estava ali, mas sua fé estava vacilante. As lutas da fé são reais e todos passamos por elas. Os dardos de dúvida lançados por Satanás parecem voar em nossa direção quase o tempo todo, e muitas vezes somos tentados a achar graça só de pensar em Deus resolvendo nossos problemas espinhosos.

Mas graças a Deus pelo triunfo final da fé. Creio que a reviravolta na fé relutante de Abraão e Sara ocorreu durante o último contato com o Senhor: “Por que se riu Sara?”, Deus prontamente perguntou. “Acaso, para o SENHOR há coisa demasiadamente difícil?” (Gênesis 18:13-14). Essas palavras incisivas e desafiadoras penetraram fundo naqueles corações vacilantes, e sua fé foi reavivada, fortalecida e solidificada. Houve mais um pequeno contratempo em Gerar (Gênesis 20:1-8), mas, basicamente, as coisas ficaram diferentes daí por diante.

De Abraão, o apóstolo Paulo escreveu: “E, sem enfraquecer na fé, embora levasse em conta o seu próprio corpo amortecido, sendo já de cem anos, e a idade avançada de Sara, não duvidou, por incredulidade, da promessa de Deus; mas, pela fé, se fortaleceu, dando glória a Deus, estando plenamente convicto de que ele era poderoso para cumprir o que prometera” (Romanos 4:19-21).

De Sara, o escritor aos Hebreus disse: “Pela fé, também, a própria Sara recebeu poder para ser mãe, não obstante o avançado de sua idade, pois teve por fiel aquele que lhe havia feito a promessa” (Hebreus 11:11). Sua fé foi recompensada; Sara teve um filho e eles o chamaram de Isaque, que significa “riso”. E Sara nos diz porque lhe deu esse nome: “Deus me deu motivo de riso; e todo aquele que ouvir isso vai rir-se juntamente comigo” (Gênesis 21:6). Seu sorriso de dúvida se transformou em um riso triunfante de alegria, a qual nós podemos compartilhar com ela.

Haveria também outros problemas para Abraão e Sara. A vida de fé nunca está livre de obstáculos. Agar e Ismael ainda estavam por perto para zombar de Isaque. E Sara ficou transtornada com isso. Quando viu Ismael caçoando do seu pequeno Isaque, parece que ela ficou descontrolada. Ela correu até Abraão e furiosamente exigiu: “Rejeita essa escrava e seu filho; porque o filho dessa escrava não será herdeiro com Isaque, meu filho” (Gênesis 21:10). Seria esta a mesma mulher exaltada no Novo Testamento por sua submissão e obediência? Sim, é ela mesma. Submissão saudável não impede alguém de expressar suas opiniões. A submissão doentia geralmente é motivada por baixa autoestima (“minha opinião não vale nada”), receio de enfrentar circunstâncias desagradáveis (“a única coisa que eu quero é paz”) ou para se esquivar de responsabilidade (“outro que tome a decisão; não vou levar a culpa”).

Pelo menos, Sara disse o que pensava. E, além do mais, ela estava certa! Em ficar transtornada, não; mas Ismael não devia ser herdeiro com Isaque, e Deus queria que Ismael saísse da família. Deus disse a Abraão para ouvir Sara e fazer tudo o que ela dissesse (Gênesis 21:12). Imagine só — mesmo quando Sara ficou perturbada, Deus queria que Abraão aceitasse seu conselho. Deus sempre quer usar as esposas para corrigir os maridos, para aconselhá-los, amadurecê-los, ajudá-los a resolver seus problemas e dar-lhes discernimento. É para isso que são auxiliadoras.

Alguns maridos fazem a esposa se sentir como uma pessoa ignorante, cujas ideias são ridículas e cujas opiniões não valem nada. O marido que faz isso é quem é o verdadeiro ignorante. Ele está perdendo o melhor de Deus para ele. Se a esposa diz ao marido que o casamento está com problemas, Deus quer que ele a ouça — ouça sua avaliação da situação, ouça as mudanças que ela acha devem ser feitas, ouça quando ela tenta dividir seus sentimentos e necessidades — e então faça alguma coisa construtiva sobre isso. Um dos principais problemas nos casamentos cristãos da atualidade é que os maridos são orgulhosos demais para admitir quando há alguma coisa errada e teimosos demais para tomar uma atitude. Talvez Deus queira ensiná-los por meio de sua esposa.

A escrava e o filho finalmente foram despachados. Ismael já tinha idade suficiente para sustentar sua mãe e Deus lhe deu habilidade com o arco (Gênesis 21:20). Com aquela mulher irritante fora do caminho, o pequeno e feliz trio familiar desfrutou durante algum tempo do companheirismo e da fé sem empecilhos. Mas a pior de todas as provações ainda estava por vir. “Depois dessas coisas, pôs Deus Abraão à prova” (Gênesis 22:1). Esta ia ser uma provação bastante incomum. Deus disse: “Toma teu filho, teu único filho, Isaque, a quem amas, e vai-te à terra de Moriá; oferece-o ali em holocausto, sobre um dos montes, que eu te mostrarei” (Gênesis 22:2). O nome de Sara não aparece nesse capítulo e raramente a mencionamos quando falamos sobre o assunto. Mas, com certeza, ela sabia o que estava para acontecer. Provavelmente, ela os ajudou na preparação para a viagem. Ela viu a lenha, o fogo, e a faca; ela viu o filho, Isaque, e viu Abraão, um olhar de agonia franzindo sua testa envelhecida. Mas não viu nenhum animal para o sacrifício. A Escritura diz que Abraão acreditou que Deus poderia até ressuscitar Isaque dos mortos (Hebreus 11:19). Sara também deve ter acreditado.

Ela os viu desaparecer no horizonte e, embora seu coração de mãe estivesse arrasado, ela não proferiu sequer uma palavra de protesto. Esta, provavelmente, foi a maior demonstração da sua fé em Deus e de submissão à vontade e propósito do marido. “Pois foi assim também que a si mesmas se ataviaram, outrora, as santas mulheres que esperavam em Deus, estando submissas a seu próprio marido, como fazia Sara, que obedeceu a Abraão, chamando-lhe senhor, da qual vós vos tornastes filhas, praticando o bem e não temendo perturbação alguma” (1 Pedro 3:5-6). A esposa cristã não precisa ter medo de ser submissa quando sua esperança está em Deus. Ele será fiel à Sua Palavra e usará a obediência dela para fazer aquilo que é melhor para ela.

Sara foi uma daquelas mulheres de quem o rei Lemuel falou que faziam bem e não mal ao marido todos os dias da sua vida (Provérbios 31:12). Uma mulher só pode ser esse tipo de esposa quando crê que nada é difícil demais para Deus, e quando crê que Deus pode até usar os erros do seu marido para glorificar a Si mesmo e abençoar a vida deles. E um homem só pode ser digno de uma esposa tão submissa, quando aprende a seguir a orientação de Deus, em vez de ir atrás de seus objetivos egoístas. Tal homem sabe que não tem autoridade para garantir sua posição de liderança. Isso lhe foi dado por Deus. Por isso, ele a aceita como um dever sagrado, exercendo sua autoridade com submissão total a seu Senhor e consideração desvelada por sua esposa e por aquilo que é melhor para ela.

Vamos conversar sobre isso

1. Para os maridos: Quais são os objetivos da sua vida? Já conversou sobre eles com sua esposa? Para as esposas: De que forma você pode ajudar seu marido a cumprir o propósito de Deus para ele?

2. Por que o marido deve buscar o conselho da esposa nas decisões que afetam a ela?

3. Em quais situações a mulher encontra mais dificuldade para ser submissa?

4. Como Deus espera que a esposa reaja quando sente que o marido não faz aquilo que é da vontade de Deus?

5. Para as esposas: Existe alguma área da sua submissão que seja motivada pela baixa autoestima, pelo receio de enfrentar circunstâncias desagradáveis ou para se esquivar de responsabilidade? Qual é a base da submissão saudável?

6. Como os maridos, às vezes, usam sua autoridade como um porrete para conseguir as coisas do seu jeito? O que podem fazer para evitar isso?

7. Tendo Deus dado o papel de liderança ao marido, quais, então, são suas obrigações para com sua esposa?

8. Para as esposas: Como Deus deseja que você expresse suas opiniões e desejos ao seu marido? Para os maridos: Como Deus espera que você reaja quando sua esposa está tentando lhe dizer alguma coisa?

Tradução: Mariza Regina de Souza

Related Topics: Christian Home, Marriage

The Net Pastor's Journal, Eng Ed, Issue 11 Spring 2014

Spring 2014 Edition

Produced by ...

Dr. Roger Pascoe, President,

The Institute for Biblical Preaching

Cambridge, Ontario, Canada

www.tibp.ca

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“Strengthening the Church in Biblical Preaching and Leadership”

Part I: Preparing For Preaching

“Selecting Texts and Topics”

By: Dr. Roger Pascoe

The Institute for Biblical Preaching,

Cambridge, Ontario, Canada

Let’s continue our discussion on the subject of “Preparing for Preaching: Selecting Texts and Topics.” The first aspect of “selecting texts and topics” we discussed last time (Winter 2014 Edition) was how a “Preaching Plan” helps you in preparation for preaching.

In this edition of the NET Pastors Journal, I would like to discuss some biblical principles and some good practices for selecting preaching texts and topics.

Some Biblical Principles For Selecting Texts And Topics

In Paul’s farewell address to the elders at Ephesus (Acts 20: 28-30), he outlines at least three principles that govern a preaching ministry in order to faithfully discharge our responsibility to preach the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27).

1. A Principle For The Scope Of Your Preaching Ministry

Paul sets out the biblical principle concerning the nature and content of what we must preach. At Ephesus, Paul preached evangelistic messages (21, 24-25) and edifying messages (20). In sum, Paul’s preaching covered what he calls the whole counsel of God (27), which, we could say, is the general principle for a preaching ministry

Paul does not describe for us the content of, or exactly what he means by, “the whole counsel of God,” but evidently it embraces the full scope and comprehensive teaching of the Scriptures - the entirety of God’s revealed truth.

The whole counsel of God undoubtedly includes (a) “repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ” (21); (b) “the gospel of the grace of God” (24); and (c) “the kingdom of God” (25). In other words, it probably includes both evangelistic messages and messages for edification, exhortation, and comfort (1 Cor. 14:3).

Preaching the whole counsel of God amounts to the full discharge of our obligation as preachers. Paul’s point seems to be that, whatever the content or nature of his preaching was, he had fully and faithfully carried out his responsibilities so that he was “innocent of the blood of all men” (26). He had neither been negligent in his preaching nor had he shunned to declare certain truths to them, whether they were pleasant or unpleasant, received by them or rejected by them. He had “left behind (at Ephesus) a comprehensive message and instruction that would enable further growth of the church in the future (20).”¹

Therefore, to preach the whole counsel of God, we must...

(A) Preach Faithfully.

This means making sure your preaching has width (scope). Be fully committed to declaring the full scope of God’s Word and God’s message.

(B) Preach Comprehensively.

This means making sure your preaching has breadth. Embrace the full range of biblical truth (the “whole” counsel) in order to (i) edify (teach) the church; (ii) exhort the church; (iii) admonish the church; (iv) strengthen the church; (v) grow the church.

When you “preach the whole counsel of God,” you will preach comprehensively in that you will instruct believers in the truth of God and thus build them up in “their most holy faith”; and you will invite unbelievers to repentance. The Word of God is applicable and effective for all people in all situations (cf. 2 Tim. 3:14-17).

(C) Preach Thoroughly.

This means making sure your preaching has depth. Be methodical and systematic in your preaching. Research its meaning carefully. Make sure you know what you’re talking about. Be precise. Pay attention to detail.

(D) Preach Proportionately.

This means making sure your preaching has balance so that (i) you do not favour certain topics or texts more than others; (ii) you exposit the full scope of Scriptural truth; (iii) you declare what is needed, not necessarily what is wanted. This means seeking out the right Scripture for the occasion through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

This, then, is a biblical principle for the scope of your preaching. Then there is ...

2. A Principle For Practicing What You Preaching

Your preaching and teaching will be powerless if it is not supported by your personal example. So ...

Practice personal humility. Paul says that he “served the Lord will all humility” (19)
Practice pastoral responsibility. Paul says: “I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears” (31). We have pastoral responsibilities that include warning people.
Practice personal integrity. “These hands have provided for my necessities and for those who were with me” (34-35). In other words, Paul was not in ministry for the money or personal benefits, but he provided for his own needs and for those who ministered with him.

The third principle for selecting texts and topics is...

3. A Principle For Developing Leaders Through Your Preaching

What you preach and teach has a direct impact on your church’s leadership – their spirituality, style, training, mentoring etc. Preparing church leaders, according to the apostle Paul, includes: appointing them (28), instructing them (28-31), exhorting them (31), and entrusting them with the responsibility of shepherding the church (32).

When you preach the whole counsel of God and practice it in your own life, you will go a long way to preparing and training other leaders by instructing them in the whole counsel of God, and by demonstrating how to put the Scriptures into practice in their own lives.

4. Conclusion

If you preach the whole counsel of God, your preaching will have a profound impact on your church, mission organization, or other Christian ministry. You will leave behind a lasting legacy. You will strengthen your organization in the truth. You will train up leaders to give godly oversight. As a result, you will not be ashamed of, nor feel regret about, your preaching.

In addition to these Biblical Principles for Selecting Texts and Topics, let me suggest some...

Good Practices For Selecting Texts And Topics

1. Select Your Texts And Topics Prayerfully

Prayer is the only solid basis for selecting preaching texts and topics. Prayer safeguards the dangers and concerns of preaching plans – viz. that they will be of the flesh and not of the Spirit. Ministry planning that is done prayerfully recognizes and bows to the sovereignty of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Be sure to establish your preaching plans under the authority of the Spirit. Whether you preach message by message, series by series, or whether you plan your preaching on a quarterly, annual, topical, or thematic basis, the sermons must be planned prayerfully under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Be sure to take time for this. Make it a priority. Be intentional in praying about what you should preach over the next few weeks, or the next year, or the next season (e.g. Christmas or Easter). Wait on God - be open to His direction for a series or a single message.

2. Select Your Texts And Topics According To Established Priorities

The process of planning begins with establishing priorities in your church. Church leaders need to establish a plan for the congregation as a whole and for small groups within the congregation based on certain priorities and goals that they prayerfully decide need to be addressed. Too many churches have no plan for their preaching and teaching ministries. Then they wonder why their people are spiritually immature, or biblically illiterate.

The following priorities start with the centre of ever widening concentric circles:

(A) Establish Biblical Priorities

Biblical Priority #1: Preach Christ. This is the central theme of the Bible. Paul said, “We preach Christ crucified” (1 Cor. 1:23; 2:2; cf. Col. 1:28) – i.e. “the gospel” (Rom. 1:16). This is the focus of the entire Bible and, therefore, every sermon must somehow relate to this theme.

Biblical Priority #2: Preach the faith. This refers to the central doctrines of the Bible - i.e. the truth of the gospel; “the faith which was once-for-all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3); the defined set of truths that constitute the essence of Christian belief. You can make a list of these central doctrines from biblical or systematic theology books, or from your own study of Scripture.

Biblical Priority #3: Preach the Scriptures. Text selection must give attention to the whole counsel of God, the entire scope of Scripture, since God has given it all us to preach. You may not be able to preach the whole Bible during your lifetime, but the point is that we preach the Old Testament and New Testament, character studies, doctrines, historical narratives, prophetic Scriptures, wisdom literature, epistles, gospels etc., taking into account the diversity and depth of Scripture.

(B) Establish Practical Priorities

Text selection is affected by the realities that occur from day-to-day. In this regard, there is no set pattern to follow other than the fact that you apply the biblical priorities for preaching to the practical priorities of ministry – i.e. relate the reality of what is needed in your congregation or organization to the obligations of preaching.

This will depend on (a) your ministry (i.e. youth, seniors, evangelism etc); (b) your gifting (prophetic preaching, evangelistic preaching etc); and (c) the type of opportunities you have to preach (Sunday morning services, funerals, weddings etc.).

This brings together three components: (i) the gift God has given you; (ii) the ministry God has called you to; and (iii) the message God has given you.

Part II: Leadership: Being A Godly Role Model

“Your Personal Surrender to the Holy Spirit”

Leaders must be Spirit-filled and Spirit-led people. We often talk about the filling of the Spirit, but what does it really mean to be filled with the Spirit? And what does that look like in reality? How do you obtain this filling and what difference does it make in your life? How does a Spirit-filled person act, relate to others, speak, think etc.?

For our answer, we’re going to Ephesians 5, but before doing so I want you to notice the importance of the subject of the Holy Spirit for Paul in Ephesians. He talks about the sealing of the Spirit (1:13); the indwelling of the Spirit (2:22); the strengthening of the Spirit (3:16); the uniting of the Spirit (4:3); the grieving of the Spirit (4:30); and the filling of the Spirit (5:18).

Further, Paul emphasizes in Ephesians this matter of “filling” or “fullness” - the fullness of the times (1:10); the fullness of the church, Christ’s body (1:23); the fullness of God (3:19); the fullness of Christ (4:13); the fullness / filling of the Spirit (5:18).

The word in Greek is πληρωμα, which can be active or passive. Actively it refers to that which fills up, to fill to the full. Passively, it refers to that which has been filled or completed, to be filled. Fullness, as Paul uses this word, speaks of that which is full of something; or that which is brought to fullness or completion; the sum total, the full measure, the abundance (cf. Rom. 11:25; 15:29; Col. 2:9; Eph. 3:19; Jn. 1:16), or the state of being full (cf. Gal. 4:4; Acts 13:52).

Eph. 5:18 introduces the subject of the filling of the Spirit in the believer, which is then developed as to what that looks like in various aspects of life (in the church, in the home, in the workplace, and in the world) right through to 6:20.

This is not intended to be an exhaustive study of this passage, but to give you a flavour of what the filling of the Spirit is in precept and what it looks like in practice. First...

The Meaning Of The Spirit-Filled Life

What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit? It says: Do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit (5:18). The context is that the unwise, foolish, reckless person (5:15, 17) is controlled by his passions (the flesh), which is sometimes manifested in drunkenness. On the other hand, the careful, circumspect, wise person (5:15), who understands what the will of the Lord is (5:17), is controlled by the Spirit, which is manifested in (a) Spirit-filled unity in the church (5:19-21), (b) Spirit-filled harmony in the home (5:22-6:4), (c) Spirit-filled co-operation in the workplace (6:5-9), and (d) Spirit-filled victory in the world (6:10-20).

So, what’s the connection between being “drunk” and being “filled with the Spirit?” It’s a contrast between alcoholic and spiritual intoxication, both of which are the result of coming under the control of an external power. It has to do with who is in control of our lives. The drunk person lives recklessly, controlled by the power of alcohol. The spiritual person lives carefully, controlled by the power of the Spirit.

Everything about a drunk people indicates that they are under the influence of a power other than their own - that they are out of control, in the way they walk, talk, look, and think. Everything about Spirit-filled people, on the other hand, indicates that they are under an authority more powerful than themselves - that they are in control of the way they walk, talk, look, and think.

Drunk people gain temporary happiness, temporary forgetfulness, temporary relief from reality through drunkenness, but it soon fades until it starts all over again. Spirit-filled people, on the other hand, don’t have to search for happiness because they have it. They don’t need a fake substitute; they have the real thing. They aren’t drunk; they are filled. They aren’t under the influence of wine, but under the influence of the Spirit. The Spirit of God fills them with a joy and peace that passes all understanding – their life overflows with it.

Grammatically, the phrase “be filled with the Spirit” tells us that:

It is plural – addressed to the whole church, includes us all
It is imperative – a command, an obligation, not optional
It is passive – the Holy Spirit fills us, not we ourselves.

This is a peculiar grammatical construction. How can we obey a passive command? It is both passive and a command in the sense of “Let yourself be filled …”. We must allow the Holy Spirit to do it and in no way hinder Him from filling us. It is imperative in that we must and can respond to it - it is not something that occurs without our effort or action. But it is passive in that it is something the Holy Spirit fulfills.

It is present continuous – “Keep on being filled”. We have been “sealed with the Spirit” once-for-all, but we must be filled continuously by living according to the principles, practices, and programs of the new man.

So, what does it mean to be filled with the Spirit? What does this look like in reality?

1. What The Filling Of The Spirit Is Not

The filling of the Spirit is not some sort of dramatic phenomenon – e.g. falling to the ground, twitching, or making strange noises. It is not a second blessing subsequent to conversion. It is not a temporary experience of ecstatic speech or visions. It is not a progressive process by which we gradually receive more of Him until we are full of Him, since all believers possess him in fullness (not in part, as though He could be divided up – see Jn. 3:34).

It is not the same as being “indwelled by the Spirit”, since all believers are indwelled at the moment of salvation (Rom. 8:9). It is not the same as “the baptism of the Spirit”, since all believers are baptized with the Spirit at the moment of conversion, when we become part of the body of Christ. It is not the same as being “sealed w/ the Spirit”, since this also an accomplished fact (1:13). Nowhere are believers commanded to be indwelled, baptized, or sealed with the Spirit. The only command is to “be filled with the Spirit.”

2. What The Filling Of The Spirit Is

To be filled with the Spirit means to manifest what we truly are. We are sealed with the Spirit when we trust Christ and we manifest that sealing by letting him “fill” us, so that it is evident who controls our lives. The disciples were “filled” with the Spirit at Pentecost so much so that everyone knew it.

When He fills us, we live in the fullness of His presence and His power. He enables us to live according to the new man, to be God-centred, to be light (8-14), to live carefully and use our time wisely (15-16), to understand what the will of the Lord is (17), worshiping God (19-20) and living together in unity (21).

To be filled with the Spirit is to be controlled by the Holy Spirit, to live in the power of the Spirit, to be sensitive to the operation of the Spirit, to surrender moment by moment to the Spirit. Just as some people are filled with sorrow, fear, or anger, and that emotion takes control of their life, so we are to be so consumed by the Holy Spirit that He has control of our lives. When He fills us, we are not under our own control but His - dominated by Him, overpowered and mastered by Him.

To be filled with something means that there is no room for anything else. That’s the very nature of something that is filled – you can’t get a drop more in; if you could, it would not be filled. That’s the nature of being filled with the Spirit – no room for self, the world, or the flesh.

And whatever you are filled with characterizes your entire life. Someone has pointed out that a Christian who is filled with the Spirit is like a glove. A glove without a hand in it is powerless and useless, since a glove works only as the hand controls and uses it. A glove’s only work is the hand’s work – it can’t complete any tasks without the hand, nor can the glove take any credit or boast about what it does. In the same way a Christian who is not filled with the Spirit can accomplish no more than a glove that is not filled with a hand. Anything done without the Spirit is of no value.²

Here are twelve aspects or evidences of being filled with the Spirit:

1. Confessing your sins.

2. Renewing your mind through the transforming power of the Spirit.

3. Dying to self; mortifying the flesh (Gal. 5:16, 24).

4. Presenting your body as living a sacrifice (Rom. 12:1).

5. Being God-centred, not self-centred.

6. Being light, not darkness.

7. Being careful how you live, not reckless.

8. Living according to the new man, not the old.

9. Living in the consciousness of the personal presence of the Lord; letting his life dominate yours.

10. Filling yourself with the Word of God so that His thoughts are your thoughts, His standards your standards, His holiness your holiness.

11. Keeping in step with the Spirit (Gal. 5:25); living your life under his control - every thought and every decision.

12. Manifesting the fruit of the Spirit which He produces in you - love, joy, peace etc (Gal. 5:22-23).

Spirit-filled living is most fully realized in community, when we are together and dwelling together in unity.

That, then, is the meaning of the Spirit-filled life. In subsequent editions of the NET Pastors Journal we will continue to look at the necessity of the Spirit-filled life, the reality of the Spirit-filled life, and the activity of the Spirit-filled life.

Part III: Devotional Thoughts

“Manna in the Morning”

By: Dr. Stephen F. Olford

If you and I were to discuss the matter personally, probably you would say that it is a most commendable practice for every Christian to have a daily meeting with God through the Word and prayer.

And you would be right, of course. Except that this daily communion, this “quiet time” with God, is more than a commendable practice; it is absolutely vital to a life of sustained spirituality, effectiveness and love. It is the barometer of the Christian life.

Let me support that position. Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Matt. 4:4).

Read that without the negative comparison and you will see what man is to live on. “Man shall live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Literally it is: “Man shall live by every spoken word that comes from God.”

That is not the Bible memorized, nor the Bible on your bookshelf or in your study. It is the word that God speaks to your soul in the quiet place of prayer and meditation. That is how man lives. You can be doctrinally correct, and yet be spiritually dead. The thing that maintains life is the living word of God which is spoken to your soul every day.

The quiet time is vital to spiritual health, whether you are newly converted or a mature Christian (see 1 Peter 2:2 and Heb. 5:14).

The quiet time is vital for spiritual cleansing. You are initially cleansed by the precious blood, that is true, and again and again you have to come back to the cross for restoration. But the day-to-day cleansing is from the laver of the Word (see Ps. 119:9; John 15:3; 17:17).

The quiet time is also vital to spiritual counsel.You can never know the true principles that determine a life of holiness and righteousness without letting the Word of God “dwell in you richly” (see Col. 3:16 and Ps. 73:24).

The quiet time is likewise vital in equipping you for spiritual conflict. The supreme example is our Lord Jesus Christ when He encountered Satan in the wilderness. I feel sure that for forty days and nights He had fed His soul on the book of Deuteronomy, and could therefore make His sword thrusts from personal experience of the written Word.

Paul later exhorted the believers at Ephesus to “take…(unto them) the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Eph. 6:17).

Important as all these things are, however, the greatest incentive to your having a quiet time each day is not your need, great as that is, but the fact that God wants to meet with you. Therefore, it is not merely a duty. It is a privilege and an honour.

God in Christ, your Lord, has a trysting place with you. His heart is saddened when you fail to keep the appointment. He longs, as He did with the woman of Samaria, to drink afresh of your love, devotions and worship (see John 4:23, 24).

I would warn you that establishing your quiet time is never easy. As a minister, I will confess frankly that it is harder for me to have my quiet time now than it was when I was first converted. The reason for this is that what counts costs.

You will find that the most vicious attacks of the adversary will be directed toward robbing you of that daily time with your Lord. And you will have to guard it fearlessly if you are to keep it.

Whatever your sphere of service – as a pastor, Sunday school teacher, missionary, or Christian in the office or home – I give you little hope of living victoriously unless you are successful in maintaining your quiet time.

But now I want to turn to some practical and specific requirements which I feel are necessary for the quiet time.

First, you will need a definite place and time – that almost goes without saying. And don’t ever say you can’t have a quiet time because you haven’t a place or a prearranged time. Consider again the example of the Lord Jesus (see Mark 1:35).

Next, have a good sized Bible, one with print you do not have to strain to read. Don’t get into the habit of waking up in the morning, rolling over in your bed, and with sleepy eyes trying to read a Bible with small print. Don’t stay in bed at all! Get up and wash your face, or have a shower, so that you are fully alert.

I love the story of a young student at Cambridge who wanted to be a burning light for God, but couldn’t get up in the morning. So he rigged up a clock in such a way that when the alarm rang it released from the ceiling a sponge filled with water which fell on his face!

Another essential is a prayer list or prayer cycle, something to keep reminding you to stress a different request for each day. My wife and I use one that works this way:

Monday: “M” is for missionaries.

Tuesday: “T” is for thanksgiving – that’s when we give the Lord special thanks for wonderful answers to prayer.

Wednesday: “W” is for workers.

Thursday: “T” is for tasks – our job at the church, the ministry that God has given us. Friday: “F” is for our families.

Saturday: “S” is for the saints – and especially young Christians, that Christ may be formed in them.

Sunday: “S” is for sinners and, in particular, the gospel services for which we are responsible.

Then you should have what I call a quiet time notebook. I believe that the thoughts of every quiet time should be written down, even if only in brief sentence form. God gives you there something you’ll never find in a commentary or anywhere else – and the thoughts are worth keeping. (To be continued next time).

Part IV. Sermon Outlines

John 13:1-11, Jesus Dialogue With The Disciples

For the audio versions of these sermons, click on these links: Link 1 - Jn. 13:1-3, Pt. 1; Link 2 - Jn. 13:1-3, Pt. 2; Link 3 - Jn. 13:1-3, Pt. 3; Link 4 - Jn. 13:4-5; Link 5 - Jn. 13:6-11

Title: True Servanthood

Point #1: We must understand the basis of true servanthood

1. The basis of true servanthood is the confidence that comes from knowledge (1-3)

a) The knowledge of where we are going and how we are getting there (1a-b)

b) The knowledge of who we are and how we fit in (3a)

c) The knowledge of where we have come from and why we are here (3b)

2. The basis of true servanthood is the motivation that comes from love

a) The motivation that comes from love is shown in the object of that love (1c)

b) The motivation that comes from love is shown in the extent of that love (1d-2)

Point #2: We must demonstrate the character of true servanthood (4-11)

1. In the way that we present ourselves to others (4b-c)

2. In the things we do for others (5)

3. In the manner we relate to others (6-11)

a) ... by being courteous to those who oppose us (6-8)

b) ... by being patient with those who don’t understand us (9-11)

¹ Olford, Stephen F. with David L. Olford, Anointed Expository Preaching (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1998), 82.

² MacArthur, John, Ephesians (Chicago: Moody Bible Institute, 1986), 250.

2. Connection

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Connecting with fellow leaders

“Love creates community. Jesus gave to His disciples a new commandment: ‘Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.’ The call to or the commendation of love within the fellowship of Christians is repeated in every Epistle. God has through Christ laid the basis for a relationship more intimate than that experienced in many families. It is in the context of the family of God that, rooted and grounded in love, believers are to grow in their experience of God’s love and reach Christian maturity.’ (Larry Richards)

Think About It:

What did you find out about yourself from the DISC dimensions of behavior and spiritual gifts assessment that would be significant information for your co-leader or ministry partners to know?

Every small group leader is part of the greater ministry of either a local body of believers or the universal Body of Christ in general. No one is alone. Jesus not only gathered together his group of apostles, he taught them how to work together to carry on the ministry after his earthly departure. The Holy Spirit is given to every believer to equip each one with gifts needed to grow Christ’s kingdom on earth.

We were never intended to work alone but in connection with others who have a faith walk with Jesus Christ. A connection is “a relationship in which one person is linked or associated with another person.”

“For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself? Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12)

Ministry leaders need to pursue love for and connection with one another to share the burdens and joys of ministry as well as to support and encourage one another in the use of one’s gifts.

Every small group needs someone who can manage the discussion and the time plus someone who can build relationships and nurture the group. Rarely is one person gifted to do both.

Connecting and Working with Others

Small group leaders and co-leaders should be deliberate in how they work together to meet the ministry needs of their group. This involves getting together and discussing how you will work together, incorporating your spiritual gifts and behavioral style to best advantage for the group.

Spend some time working through the following questions to see how you foresee being able to manage your group. If you have a co-leader, plan a time when you can talk through these things with her. If you do not have a co-leader, look for a mature woman in your group that can help you manage some of the tasks that you will have difficulty doing alone.

“And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works,” (Hebrews 10:24)

While you are going through these questions, pray through them as well. If we become accustomed to depend on our natural strengths, we may feel no need to cry out to God for help. In both your strengths and weaknesses, ask Jesus to do them through you and to do them his way. We can do neither without the help of our God.

Think About It:

Who are your partners in small group ministry?

Getting to know your co-leader:

What is your natural bent in leadership: Do you like to lead the discussion? Do you like to write notes, e-mail, & call the women? Do you like to spend time getting to know the women one-on-one?
What do you foresee as a struggle for you as a small group leader? How can your co-leader or another leader help you grow in this area?
What will be your role in leading the small group discussion? (For example, some co-leaders alternate leading the discussion; others decide that one will always lead.)
If a group member shares a prayer request or a prayer need comes up, how will you (and your co-leader, if applicable) make sure to remember to pray for that woman’s need and follow up with her? (Be sure to maintain confidentiality.)

Make a plan for connecting:

How will you regularly connect with your co-leader (if you have one) or another leader?
How do you plan to regularly connect with and communicate with your small group? If you have a co-leader, how will the two of you handle this (divide list/trade-off weeks/one leader mainly does this)? If you do not have a co-leader, will you need to find someone from your group to help you with this? If so, pray about this and make finding this person a high priority.
What kinds of outside activities would you like to do with your group occasionally? Will you need to ask someone else to oversee any scheduling/arrangements? Gather some ideas from others who have had success in this area.
What is your plan for warmly greeting the women as they arrive (at the door, at the table, etc.)?

Talk to your co-leader on a regular basis. You will benefit from having the other person’s perspective. Pray together for the women in your group. Periodically review your plans and see how you are doing. What needs to change? Working together as a ministry team (leader/co-leader for each group and leaders in the ministry) benefits all the participants in the ministry. And, our Lord Jesus is glorified by our unity.

“I am not praying only on their behalf, but also on behalf of those who believe in me through their testimony, that they will all be one, just as you, Father, are in me and I am in you. I pray that they will be in us, so that the world will believe that you sent me. The glory you gave to me I have given to them, that they may be one just as we are one –I in them and you in me – that they may be completely one, so that the world will know that you sent me, and you have loved them just as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23)

Managing Conflicts and Expectations

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to agree together, to end your divisions, and to be united by the same mind and purpose.” (I Corinthians 1:10)

“Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.” (Philippians 2:3)

Think About It:

Have you experienced or witnessed a conflict between women in ministry? How was it managed/resolved? What, if anything, could have been done better?

Unity or like-mindedness with your ministry team is essential for a servant-leader of a small group. Remember that your goal is to have them focused on their relationship with Jesus Christ and connected with a local church. The larger a ministry grows, the more difficult unity becomes. Conflicts will naturally arise between women who have different behavioral tendencies, backgrounds, and/ or approaches to ministry. We must all work hard to resolve conflicts quickly for the health of the ministry. Conflicts usually fall into 2 categories: 1) conflict with the ministry operation or 2) conflict with a ministry leader or co-leader.

Some conflicts that might possibly arise between co-leaders or between a leader and the ministry itself are: behavioral clashes, how one does/does not nurture the group, childcare issues, and/ or misunderstanding of ministry directives.

We’ve given you some suggestions for resolving conflicts in the “Character” section. We offer you more guidelines below.

Concerning the Ministry

We realize that there may be times when issues come up that need to be addressed. We ask that you please bring these issues to the coordinator or staff member that oversees your ministry. It is our hope that this will give you a new perspective on why we do things the way we do and an avenue for your concern or idea to be discussed and considered for the benefit of the entire group.

Concerning a Co-leader

If you have an issue with another ministry leader, assume good will on her part and ask the Lord how best to proceed in your relationship with her. If you need to discuss the issue in order to get guidance on how to proceed, set aside some time to talk with your ministry leader. Do not gossip about the situation with others. When needed, talk directly with the other leader for the purpose of reconciliation.

If your attempts to reconcile with another leader do not resolve the issue, please set a meeting for the two of you to discuss the issue with the ministry coordinator or the staff member that oversees your ministry. See Matthew 18:15-17 for a good passage on dealing with conflict biblically.

What if I am going to be absent from our small group meeting?

If you have a co-leader, tell her as far in advance as possible when you will be absent. Your ministry coordinator may want to be told as well.

If you will both be absent on the same day, contact your ministry coordinator or staff member that oversees your ministry to make arrangements for your group to be properly served.

Gratefulness

Remember those who serve your ministry—set-up, childcare, hospitality, or any other areas. Thank them often for their service, which makes it possible for your small group to meet. Help your group also practice gratitude toward them.

Related Topics: Christian Education, Women

Four Steps to Inductive Bible Study

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Setting the context: “ABCs”

Author — Who wrote the passage?
Background — When did the author live? In what culture?
Context — How does the passage fit in with what comes before and after it?

What does the passage say? (Observation)

Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Read and reread the passage. Read it in another version of the Bible if available.
Gather all sorts of facts like an investigative reporter. Ask questions to help you observe the facts: Who? What happened? What was taught? When? Where? How? Why? This is where you see and discover what the author is saying.
Locate and mark any key words, repeated words or phrases, and commands.

What does it mean? (Interpretation)

What is the author’s intent in this passage? What is one principle or lesson the writer/God was trying to communicate? What was he saying to the people of his day? What would they have understood?
Look at other scriptures that relate to the passage. These are usually found in the margins of Bibles or in footnotes. What do other verses say about this thought or idea?
Use Bible study helps to get a clearer meaning of the passage as needed: commentaries, Bible dictionaries, concordances, Vine’s Expository Dictionary or a Bible study guide for the text, subject, or person your studying. Use a dictionary to define any unfamiliar terms or ideas.
Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Why do you think God put this in the Bible?

How does the principle apply to one specific area of my life? (Application)

What is the Holy Spirit saying to me in this passage? Ask Him.
What is one way I can apply the heart of this passage to my life?
What will I do differently because of what I’ve learned?

This information is taken from:

1. What Is Inductive Bible Study? by Bill Cook, http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Valley/6135/inductive2.htm

2. Walk This Way? The Book of Mark, Irving Bible Church, pages 73-75, 207.

3. Effective Personal Bible Study by Mike Messerli, Crossroads Bible Church.

Related Topics: Bible Study Methods, Christian Education, Women

1. Character

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Character of a leader

Acts 2:42-47 describes the Christian life applied in a small group setting—house churches meeting in Jerusalem led by the apostles. What each of those men brought to their small groups was their faith in Jesus Christ, their character, and the way they were uniquely gifted. Likewise, every small group leader in Christ’s Church brings to the small group those same things—faith, character, and uniqueness. Character is defined as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” The health of the small group is no doubt impacted by the character of the person leading it, character springing from your faith walk with Jesus Christ and expressed through your unique giftedness.

Think About It:

Thinking back on your own experience with small group leaders through the years, what character qualities in your small group leader did you find essential for a healthy, functioning group?

“Jesus called them and said to them, ‘You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions use their authority over them. But it is not this way among you. Instead whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’” (Mark 10:42-45)

Jesus contrasted the world’s concept of leader with what he wanted for his Church. Leaders in Christ’s Church (which includes elders, deacons, and small group leaders) are to be servant-minded. The phrase “servant-leader” best describes this role and heart attitude.

Think About It:

Describe a servant-leader you have known. What made you think of that person? Be specific.

Several Bible passages describe character qualities of servant leaders. Please read each passage below and the associated character descriptions.

1 Corinthians 2:1-5 —

“When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come with superior eloquence or wisdom as I proclaimed the testimony of God. For I decided to be concerned about nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and with much trembling. My conversation and my preaching were not with persuasive words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not be based on human wisdom but on the power of God.”

Humble & teachable: Servant-leaders are to be humble and teachable. You don’t need to know all the answers, but you do need to be committed to your own faith walk with Jesus—living by faith and dependence on Him.
Christ-focused: As a servant-leader, your role and privilege are to point the women to Jesus, encouraging them in their relationship with Him above all else. Your goal is to help them learn to place their dependence more upon Christ and less upon you as their leader.

John 13:34-35 —

“I give you a new commandment – to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples – if you have love for one another.”

Love: A servant-leader commits to love the women in her group as well as those on her ministry team.

Think About It:

Why would humility, teachability, and love be important qualities in a small group leader?

1 Timothy 3:11 —

“(Women) likewise are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers, but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” (NIV)

Note: Paul outlines the qualifications for the office of “deacon” in 1 Timothy 3:8-13; verse 11 particularly addresses women (the Greek term gune denotes a woman, married or unmarried). The term deacon (from the Greek meaning “servant”) is used in the New Testament for both men and women, although this is not always clear in many English translations. The early church had both male and female deacons who were servant-leaders in their churches.

Worthy of respect: those who know her best recognize this. A respectful woman willingly submits to the authority structures in her life, including the authority of scripture. She strives to live a life worthy of her calling as she considers the well being of others.
Not malicious talkers: Women in leadership must guard the confidences shared within her small group setting or ministry team. She must keep in mind how her words may affect others and be careful not to share sensitive information (personal and/or confidential) in inappropriate settings (with those who don’t need to know that information). Use discretion when dealing with ministry concerns by only talking with those directly responsible for the solution.
Temperate: Although some associate the word “temperate” with abstaining from alcohol, the character quality “temperate” means to be self-controlled. From 2 Timothy 2:23-25, we get a good working definition of temperate: kind, patient, and gentle. All of these are likewise fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). A temperate woman yields to the Holy Spirit’s control of her behavior, attitude and emotions. She chooses unity over personal preference so is known as one who is cooperative and more interested in the goals of the ministry than her own.
Trustworthy in everything: Being faithful as Jesus describes it, “faithful in the little things.” The oversight and teaching of the church are to be entrusted to those who have proven themselves to be faithful. Leaders are held to a greater accountability; therefore, we must be diligent in pursuing and abiding in biblical truth.

Think About It:

Why would being respected, trustworthy, and disciplined in speech and behavior be important qualities in a small group leader?

Titus 2:3-5 —

“Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.”

Note: The term “older” can refer to age or spiritual maturity. Mentoring is someone older in the Lord helping someone younger in the Lord understand and apply biblical truth to every day life.

Think About It:

Who has effectively modeled the daily Christian life for you? How?

Exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy: Don’t let this phrase scare you. The Greek word used here referred to the work of a priestess serving in the temple of her God. For us as Christ’s women, all that we do should be done “as unto the Lord.” Our daily life in all its aspects is continual ministry before God as we serve and represent him before others.
Teaching what is good: knowing what is good comes from knowing Jesus Christ and the Scriptures as your source of truth.
Role models: We want to draw women to God’s Word and truth rather than pushing them away from it. Women look to their leaders as examples to follow so no matter where we are in our own personal faith walk with Jesus, they need to see our desire to allow God to change us and grow us in our daily lives and roles as women.

Think About It:

What are some of your fears about being a small group leader?

For most small group ministries, the leaders generally come from various church backgrounds. Each small group leader is also learning and growing in her faith walk with Jesus. Your ministry probably has a statement of faith associated with it. Some parts of that statement may be considered “non-negotiable,” that is, all leaders are expected to not only agree with those doctrines but also support those positions should they come up in small group. Some examples of non-negotiable doctrines might be:

The Bible is the inspired Word of God
God is a Trinity: three persons in one
Jesus is God: not just a human religious teacher.

Think About It:

What are the “Non- Negotiable Doctrines” for your church or group?

Procure a copy of your ministry’s statement of faith and read through it. As you read, make note of anything you need to clarify or further discuss with your ministry team leader. After you read through it, do the “Think About It” activity below.

Think About It:

Is there anything in the Statement of Faith with which you don’t fully agree or about which you have further questions?

Based on the list you wrote in the previous “Think About It” box, is it a non-negotiable?

No, it is not on the non-negotiable list. It’s probably okay for you not to intellectually hold the same position as your ministry on those, but be sure to ask your questions to your ministry director for your own growth.
Yes, it is on the non-negotiable list. Please make an appointment with your ministry team leader to discuss that issue.
Usually if anyone in leadership should have varying degrees of agreement on the “non-negotiable” doctrines, the assumption of the ministry leadership is that she will verbally support the ministry position or refrain from discussion. And that, if she cannot agree when faced with defending the ministry’s position, she will direct individuals to the proper authority who can explain and defend the ministry’s position scripturally.

If you do not hold the exact position as your church or ministry on a non-negotiable doctrine, what are some gracious ways you can support that non-negotiable issue if it arises in your small group? See also “Community” for other ways to handle controversial doctrines in a group discussion.

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

Why do I act the way I do?
Why doesn’t he or she do things the way I do them?
Why can’t I seem to connect with that person?

What you are really addressing is BEHAVIOR.

1. Observing behavior is historical.

From ancient times, people have been observing people. Centuries before Christ, the Greeks recognized 4 basic categories of human behavior, using the terms “Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic” to identify each. Other systems of classification have since been used.

2. Behavior is how you naturally tend to react to the environment around you.

This affects how you communicate with others and also how you receive their communication. Behavior can change over time. Your behavioral tendencies today may be somewhat different from what they were 20 years ago due to the many circumstances and life phases you have experienced.

3. Behavior is not personality.

Personality is a complex issue that deals with emotions and usually falls under the realm of psychology. Behavior doesn’t deal with whether you are happy or sad, nervous or depressed, angry or calm. A visual used to describe the difference between behavior and personality is a tree. Personality is like the tree roots—unseen but developed long before the tree grew tall. Behavior is the visible part—the trunk and branches.

4. Behavioral variety is good.

When God created Adam and Eve, He placed in them genes that would give variety to the human race in hair color, eye color, body shape, size and also in behavior. Since God made Adam and Eve to complement one another, we can assume they were different in their behavioral tendencies. But, together they made a team. It is a mistake to think that as we are conformed to the image of Christ, we will be cookie cutter images. That is not biblical thinking.

We know that one behavior type is not better than another. One strength is not better than another. Some are just more suited to specific tasks. All are needed in a society and definitely in the body of Christ.

5. Recognition of behavioral strengths and weaknesses is beneficial.

Everyone has behavioral weaknesses. The challenge for us is to be willing for God to grow us in those areas and to appreciate others who are strong in the areas where we are weak.

We know we are not perfect but are being perfected by the Perfect One whose power is sufficient for our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) In fact, when our tendency to self-sufficiency is overcome, we best recognize our need for Him. The main value of recognizing behavioral strength and weaknesses is to help you understand yourself better as well as those closest to you. You become more aware of what you bring to your ministry team and to your small group.

6. Behavior can be assessed through the DISC dimensions of behavior.

Many different approaches to human behavioral differences have been made through the centuries. In recent years, the one assessment tool used most often in ministry settings utilizes the DISC dimensions of behavior.

Developed in the early 1900’s, this tool has been widely used by businesses and Christian ministries because it helps to enhance teamwork. The DISC dimensions of behavior are based on behavioral tendencies—not personality. Assessments incorporating these dimensions have been developed that you can do on yourself. One such assessment is found in the next section. It’s simply a tool that will help you to understand yourself better, get along better with those around you, recognize and develop your strengths, and help you to develop teamwork with your co-leader or ministry partners.

Think About It:

How would being aware of your behavioral strengths and weaknesses enhance your ministry as a small group leader?

Discover Your DISC Dimensions of Behavior

According to the researchers who first outlined these dimensions of behavior, people fall into four basic categories (or, dimensions) of behavior as described by the diagram below. The measure is based upon whether one is:

Fast-paced or slow-paced in reacting to one’s environment
Task-oriented or people-oriented by nature

Examine the diagram below. Mark where you think you fit.

Take the assessment online at http://www.123test.com/disc-personality-test/ to get a more accurate description.

As you take the assessment, remember:

This is not a test. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers, no “pass” or “fail.” There are no “good” or “bad” behavior profiles or patterns.
Rank your choices as honestly as possible from your point of view, not someone else’s perception of you (husband, mother, friend…). You are the only expert on you.
Go with your first impressions. Avoid the temptation to analyze or dwell on each word.
Choose to focus on how you behave in a specific environment such as your home or ministry.
The goal is to give you information to help you become more aware of yourself and others.

Once you complete the assessment, write your primary and secondary tendencies below.

Think About It:

Primary behavior dimension: _______________ Key words that describe me (see next sections):

Secondary behavior dimension (if applicable): _______________ Key words that describe me (see next sections):

How would understanding behavioral tendencies have helped you to relate to a past ministry partner or small group member?

A description of each behavioral dimension is located in the following section of this handbook. Read yours carefully. (NOTE: If nothing seems to match “you,” it’s possible you took the assessment incorrectly. Retake the assessment.)

You can use this assessment to enable you to communicate and work well with others so as to encourage them to reach their potential as well. As you read through the various descriptions below, notice how the information can help to enhance communication and teamwork as well as help you to resolve conflict with others.

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “D”

Fast-Paced and Task-Oriented = Dominant, Direct and Active.
Key word: RESULTS.

The “D” behavior tendency describes those whose emphasis is shaping their environment by overcoming opposition to accomplish results.

D’s are comfortable at solving problems, making quick decisions, and accepting challenges.
D’s struggle with impatience, overlooking cautions, and being demanding of others.
Motivate a “D” by emphasizing goals and results and soliciting their help to accomplish them. Let them have control of something. Get in their face and challenge them. “I bet you can’t do…” often works.
Resolve conflict with a “D” by being direct, ask what is necessary for a “win-win” solution while avoiding “who’s right or wrong” debates.
Biblical characters who seemed to have “D” behavior patterns: Paul (combo D and C) and Joshua.

How You Tend to Behave if You Are an… “I”

Fast-Paced and People-Oriented = Influence, Interested and Lively.
Key word: RECOGNITION.

The “I” behavior tendency describes those whose emphasis is shaping their environment by influencing or persuading others.

I’s usually speak with ease so are valuable as lecturers, greeters, and making people feel very comfortable.
I’s struggle with sensitive feelings, being unorganized, and telling long stories.
Motivate an “I” by appreciating their efforts in front of others, letting them have fun, and putting them in a position of influence over others.
Resolve conflict with an “I” by assuring her of your love and relationship, dealing with the issues without personal criticism, and caring about her feelings.
Biblical characters who seemed to have “I” behavior patterns: Moses, David (combo I and C), Peter, and Abigail.

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “S”

Slow-Paced and People-Oriented = Steady and Cooperative.
Key word: RELATIONSHIP.

The “S” behavior tendency describes those whose emphasis is on cooperating with others to carry out the task.

S’s are dependable team players, will do a job consistently week after week, and are good listeners.
S’s struggle with resisting change, soft-heartedness, and procrastination.
Motivate an “S” by emphasizing the need of the group, minimizing conflict, and doing things together.
Resolve Conflict with an “S” by emphasizing what is best for the group or team, being calm and friendly, and offering a comfortable solution.
Biblical characters who seemed to have “S” behavior patterns: Abraham, Hannah, and Dorcas.

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “C”

Slow-Paced and Task-Oriented = Conscientious and Correct.
Key word: RIGHT.

The “C” behavior tendency describes those whose emphasis is on working conscientiously within existing circumstances to ensure quality and accuracy.

C’s are valuable at organizing information, problem solving, and maintaining accuracy.
C’s struggle with getting bogged down in detail, hesitancy to reveal true feelings, and taking a long time to make decisions.
Motivate a “C” by emphasizing quality in a task, giving her time to do things right, and working closely with her so she knows her work will be approved.
Resolve conflict with a “C” by stating the issue calmly and logically; ask what is necessary for a “win-win” solution, and giving her time to think about the situation. Be sure to schedule a follow-up discussion.
Biblical characters who seemed to have “C” behavior patterns: Luke, Mary, and Ruth.

Using DISC Behavior Tendencies To Improve Communication

How to relate to a D: Be Direct

Start with results or benefits first, then provide details only as needed
Show how you can help the “D” get those results done
Talk to her in terms of the benefits
Be quick, to the point

How to lead/motivate a D: Emphasize Goals, Results

Give her the what; let her determine the how
Let her have control, be in charge of something
Use laissez-faire leadership, give her as much free rein as possible to do the job
Get in her face and challenge her

Resolving conflict with a D: Tends to Be Direct, Aggressive

Avoid “right/wrong” debates by stating differences without judgment
Ask what is necessary for a win/win solution
Use open-ended questions to get to the real issues
Wrap up discussion by stating what each person has committed to do to resolve the conflict

____________________

How to relate to an I: Be Enthusiastic

Be positive, friendly
Provide praise
Validate her self-worth
Give her the feeling of “I need you”
Give the “I” the opportunity to express her opinion
Talk to her in terms of who else has done this

How to lead/motivate an I: Emphasize Group, Recognition

Consult with her about ideas, projects, people
Recognize her efforts in front of others
Let her have fun
Use participatory leadership, give her ownership of the leadership process
Put her in a position of influence over others

Resolving conflict with an I: Avoids Direct, Open Conflict

Recognize her discomfort with loss of approval
State the issue factually without criticism of her as a person
Limit her attempts to minimize the problem or sidetrack the discussion
Wrap up the discussion with a clear statement of what is going to happen, by when, and affirm your relationship with her

____________________

How to relate to an S: Be Relational

Be friendly, easygoing, low key on objectives
Don’t push; let her respond at her own pace
Talk in terms of how the team will be affected
Let the “S” know that you value her personally
Talk to her about why you want things changed

How to lead/motivate an S: Emphasize Group, Community

Doing things together is important
Always maintain the relationship
Let her have peace; minimize conflict
Use any leadership style, but maintain variety
Reassure her she is part of a team, is appreciated

Resolving conflict with a S: Tends to Avoid Hostility & Conflict

State the need to resolve the conflict in order to maintain stability and harmony in the relationship
Draw out uncomfortable issues by asking open-ended questions
Ask her what she would need to resolve the issue in a way that is reasonable and effective
Be calm and friendly

____________________

How to relate to a C: Be Analytical

Present clear facts and objective ideas
Don’t rush
Be specific and thorough
Speak to the “C” in terms of quality
Focus on the details
Talk to her about how to do what is to be done

How to lead/motivate a C: Emphasize Goals, Quality

Be available to work closely with her
Let her have time to do things right
Use relaxed leadership if it is competent leadership
Assign tasks that play to her strengths of quality & accuracy; doing it the best way

Resolving conflict with a C: Tends to Withdraw & Get Defensive

State the issue calmly, logically, factually, citing specific behavior
Ask what she would need to resolve this conflict on a “win-win” basis
Recognize her need to think about the situation before responding by scheduling a time to have a follow-up discussion

Think About It:

What did you learn from these lists that will help you relate to someone whose behavioral tendencies are opposite of yours?

Not only are you uniquely designed in your behavior, you have also been gifted by the Holy Spirit to serve the Body of Christ. A spiritual gift is a supernatural capacity for service to God in the Body of Christ.

All believers receive the same gift of the Holy Spirit but individually receive spiritual gifts that differ, according to the will of God, to be used for the common good.

Although opinions differ on the actual number of spiritual gifts, the Bible clearly indicates a variety of gifts understood from such key passages as Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4. Listed below are some of the gifts and how they are beneficial to the Body of Christ, especially the local church body.

The following list is adapted from “The Gifts of the Spirit” by Kenneth Boa accessed at https://bible.org/article/gifts-spirit.

Administration (1 Corinthians 12:28) — The ability to steer a ministry toward the accomplishment of God-given goals and directives by planning, organizing, and implementing what is needed to accomplish the goal including supervising others. A person may have the gift of leadership without the gift of administration.
Discernment (1 Corinthians 12:10) — The ability to clearly discern the spirit of truth and the spirit of error (cf. 1 John 4:6). With this gift, one can distinguish reality versus counterfeits, the divine versus the demonic, true versus false teaching, and in some cases, spiritual versus carnal motives.
Evangelism (Ephesians 4:11) — The ability to be an unusually effective instrument in leading unbelievers to a saving knowledge of Christ. Some with this gift are most effective in personal evangelism, while others may be used by God in group evangelism or cross-cultural evangelism.
Exhortation (Romans 12:8) — The ability to motivate others to respond to the truth by providing timely words of counsel, encouragement, and consolation. When this gift is exercised, believers are challenged to stimulate their faith by putting God’s truth to the test in their lives.
Faith (1 Corinthians 12:9) — The ability to have a vision for what God wants to be done and to confidently believe that it will be accomplished in spite of circumstances and appearances to the contrary. The gift of faith transforms vision into reality.
Giving (Romans 12:8) — The ability to contribute material resources with generosity and cheerfulness for the benefit of others and the glory of God. Christians with this spiritual gift need not be wealthy.
Helps (1 Corinthians 12:28) — The ability to enhance the effectiveness of the ministry of other members of the body. Some suggest that while the gift of service is more group-oriented, the gift of helps is more person-oriented.
Leadership (Romans 12:8) — The ability to discern God’s purpose for a group, set and communicate appropriate goals, and motivate others to work together to fulfill them in the service of God. A person with this gift is effective at delegating tasks to followers without manipulation or coercion.
Mercy (Romans 12:8) — The ability to deeply empathize and engage in compassionate acts on behalf of people who are suffering physical, mental, or emotional distress. Those with this gift manifest concern and kindness to people who are often overlooked.
Service (Romans 12:7) — The ability to identify and care for the physical needs of the body through a variety of means.
Shepherd or pastor (Ephesians 4:11) — A person with this spiritual gift has the ability to personally lead, nourish, protect, and care for the needs of a group of believers. Many with this gift do not have or need the office of pastor to be useful to the body.
Teaching (Romans 12:7; 1 Corinthians 12:28-29; Ephesians 4:11) — The ability to clearly explain and effectively apply the truths of God’s Word so that others will learn. This requires the capacity to accurately interpret Scripture, engage in necessary research, and organize the results in a way that is easily communicated.
Wisdom (1 Corinthians 12:8)--The ability to apply the principles of the Word of God in a practical way to specific situations and to recommend the best course of action at the best time. The exercise of this gift skillfully distills insight and discernment into excellent advice.

Discover Your Spiritual Giftedness

Various spiritual gift assessments are available to further help you understand how you have been gifted. We recommend the online spiritual gifts analysis freely provided by “Ephesians Four Ministries” of the Church Growth Institute at the following website: http://www.churchgrowth.org.

Please take this assessment (or any other assessment you have available to you). Be sure to allow yourself at least 15 minutes to answer the questions for this analysis. At the end, you will receive a detailed description of what may be your main spiritual gift. Often, a second gift is evident, and that description will be displayed as well. If possible, print these descriptions for future reference.

Think About It:

Primary gift: __________________ Brief description of this gift:

Secondary gift (if applicable): __________________ Brief description of this gift:

What did you discover about yourself regarding your spiritual gift(s) and how they could benefit your ministry as a small group leader?

Ministry Team Value

Please let your ministry team coordinator know the results of both your DISC Dimensions of Behavior and the Spiritual Gifts Analysis. Your coordinator and your ministry team will benefit by knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and spiritual gifts.

The purpose in doing these assessments is to:

Help you gain a better understanding of yourself, to recognize your innate weaknesses, and to appreciate your own God-given strengths
Help you better understand those closest to you
Enable you to better communicate with others
Enable you to better encourage others to reach their potential

Celebrate your unique design and giftedness by bringing Jesus Christ glory as you use your gifts in the Body of Christ. And, although you are gifted with many strengths, even in using those natural strengths and spiritual gifts be ever mindful that you need to continually depend on His power to use them for his purposes and for his glory. Ask Jesus to show you how to use your strengths. And, pray for him to be working through you in both your strengths and your weaknesses.

“For in him we live and move about and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we too are his offspring.’” (Acts 17:28)

Related Topics: Christian Education, Women

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1. A Lua de Mel Acabou— A História de Adão e Eva

Vamos conversar sobre isso

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Hidup dalam Kasih

Living in Love: Secrets from Bible Marriages

Vivendo em amor: Os Segredos dos Casamentos Bíblicos

Think Again

Improper Thinking

Proper Thinking

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2. Sim, Meu Senhor — A História de Abraão e Sara

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The Net Pastor's Journal, Eng Ed, Issue 11 Spring 2014

Part I: Preparing For Preaching

Some Biblical Principles For Selecting Texts And Topics

1. A Principle For The Scope Of Your Preaching Ministry

(A) Preach Faithfully.

(B) Preach Comprehensively.

(C) Preach Thoroughly.

(D) Preach Proportionately.

2. A Principle For Practicing What You Preaching

3. A Principle For Developing Leaders Through Your Preaching

4. Conclusion

Good Practices For Selecting Texts And Topics

1. Select Your Texts And Topics Prayerfully

2. Select Your Texts And Topics According To Established Priorities

(A) Establish Biblical Priorities

(B) Establish Practical Priorities

Part II: Leadership: Being A Godly Role Model

The Meaning Of The Spirit-Filled Life

1. What The Filling Of The Spirit Is Not

2. What The Filling Of The Spirit Is

Part III: Devotional Thoughts

Part IV. Sermon Outlines

John 13:1-11, Jesus Dialogue With The Disciples

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2. Connection

Connecting and Working with Others

Getting to know your co-leader:

Make a plan for connecting:

Managing Conflicts and Expectations

Concerning the Ministry

Concerning a Co-leader

What if I am going to be absent from our small group meeting?

Gratefulness

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From the series: The 5 C’s of Small Group Leadership PREVIOUS PAGE

Four Steps to Inductive Bible Study

Setting the context: “ABCs”

What does the passage say? (Observation)

What does it mean? (Interpretation)

How does the principle apply to one specific area of my life? (Application)

This information is taken from:

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1. Character

Discover Your DISC Dimensions of Behavior

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “D”

How You Tend to Behave if You Are an… “I”

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “S”

How You Tend to Behave if You Are a… “C”

Using DISC Behavior Tendencies To Improve Communication

How to relate to a D: Be Direct

How to lead/motivate a D: Emphasize Goals, Results

Resolving conflict with a D: Tends to Be Direct, Aggressive

How to relate to an I: Be Enthusiastic

How to lead/motivate an I: Emphasize Group, Recognition

Resolving conflict with an I: Avoids Direct, Open Conflict

How to relate to an S: Be Relational

How to lead/motivate an S: Emphasize Group, Community

Resolving conflict with a S: Tends to Avoid Hostility & Conflict

How to relate to a C: Be Analytical

How to lead/motivate a C: Emphasize Goals, Quality

Resolving conflict with a C: Tends to Withdraw & Get Defensive

Discover Your Spiritual Giftedness