Over the years I have come to greatly appreciate the Book of Proverbs, and have yet to meet a Christian who has found the Book of Proverbs to be boring or unprofitable. Many have found it to be the most useful study of their Christian experience.
My goal is not to teach through Proverbs as I have other books of the Bible, beginning at chapter 1 and ending with chapter 31. That would be nearly impossible to accomplish. Instead, I want to expose you to a sampling of the wisdom of Proverbs, hoping that you will make this book a life-long study. In this series of lessons I intend to provide you with a model for study by doing various character studies of the simple, the fool, the scoffer, the sluggard, and the wise.
When this series is finished, we will have only scratched the surface of the riches to be found in this book. From then on, the challenge will be yours.
The Book of Proverbs is a delight to ponder, yet it is extremely difficult to preach. You may very well wonder why, in the light of this, I would choose to make Proverbs the topic of study for a number of weeks. The purpose of this message, in part, is to answer that question. I want to suggest some of the contributions the Book of Proverbs can make to your spiritual life. In addition to answering the question, “Why study Proverbs?,” I also want to lay the groundwork for our study by looking at the unique literary form of the Book of Proverbs. Allow me to briefly describe some of the ways we can benefit from a study of Proverbs.
1. PROVERBS IS A BOOK THAT IS CONCERNED WITH THE DEVELOPMENT AND ASSESSMENT OF GODLY CHARACTER. I have just finished a series on the book of 1 Corinthians. In my study of chapter 13 of that epistle I was deeply impressed with the importance of godly character (namely, love). If I understand that passage correctly, character is more important that charisma. The Bible also teaches that a man is measured more by his character than by his creed (cf. I Tim. 3). A godly man is not merely one who professes to believe certain truths, but one who practices them (James 2:14-26). No book in all the Bible is more devoted to the development of godly character than Proverbs. And there is no greater need in the Christian community today than for the kind of character Proverbs extols.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn delivered a commencement address to the graduating class of Harvard University in June 1978. This man, an exile from Russia, did not dwell on the evils of Communism, but rather drew attention to the failures of the West, failures which may signal the demise of the greatest democracy history has ever known. While I would recommend that you read the entire speech, I believe the substance of his message could be summarized by this statement: America is slowly destroying itself by its neglect of godly wisdom and Christian character. Proverbs promises both to those who will diligently seek them (cf. Prov. 1:1-6; 2:lff).1
Every Christian needs to become a student of character. Let me mention just a few of the reasons why we need to discern character. First, the highest goal of the Christian is to become like Christ (Rom. 8:29 Eph. 4:13). While there are other dimensions of Christlikeness, the most essential is that we be like Him in character. The study of character in Proverbs should instruct the Christian regarding personal and practical holiness. Second, we need to be able to discern the character of others. This is especially important in biblical counseling. In Proverbs we are told, “Answer a fool as his folly deserves, Lest he be wise in his own eyes” (26:5).
If we are to counsel others, we must be able to discern their character because a wise man is counseled differently than a fool. Parents need to be able to recognize the character traits of their children if they are to train up their children “according to their way” (22:6).2 A child who has disobeyed because he did not listen carefully to instructions should be disciplined differently from a child who understood directions perfectly, but willfully did what he wanted.
The ability to discern the character of others is essential if we are to give heed to the teaching of Proverbs about our friends and associations. Those who are wicked and violent should be avoided (1:8-19). Those who are dishonest should not be our partners (29:24). Tale-bearers are not good friends (17:9). True friends are faithful (17:17), yet they won’t fail to rebuke you when it is necessary (27:5-6).
Especially important is one’s choice of a life’s mate. There is no more important qualification for marriage than the evidence of godly character. Thus is the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31 described. An unloved woman will only bring grief to the one she marries (30:23), while a nagging wife is no better (21:9,19). If we are not to associate with a person who cannot control his temper (22:24-25), certainly we should not marry him either. Many battered wives could say “Amen” to this wisdom.
2. PROVERBS DOES AWAY WITH THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN THE SACRED AND THE SECULAR.3 Fallen man will always seek to establish a dichotomy between the sacred and the secular, between religious ceremony and practical righteousness. The Old Testament prophets frequently addressed this misconception by warning Israel that religious ritual had no value when divorced from righteous living, such as caring for the poor and oppressed (cf. Isa. 1:10-17; Jer. 20-29). Jesus, likewise, addressed this kind of dualism (cf. Matt. 23:23-24). Later, James had a similar word on this subject (cf. James 1:21-27).
The Book of Proverbs will not allow Christians to linger in the land of the theoretical. We love to keep Christianity on an abstract level, rather than on an applicational one. Our greatest failing as Christians is not that we know too little (while this is often regrettably true), but that we fail to do what we know we should. The emphasis of Proverbs is both on the acquisition of wisdom and the application of it. Seldom do we find ourselves “in church” in this book, but rather in the home, on the job, and dealing with the mundane matters of daily living.
Proverbs forces the reader to translate principles into practice. Often, it was the prophets who proclaimed the principles which Proverbs specifically related to life. For example, Amos wrote: “But let justice roll down like waters, And righteousness like an everflowing stream” (Amos 5:24).
Proverbs instructs us in more specific terms: “Diverse weights and diverse measures, are both alike abominations to the Lord” (Prov. 20:10). The Book of Proverbs commands the butcher to be righteous by taking his thumb off the scales.
3. PROVERBS OFFERS TO TEACH US TO BE WISE. Wisdom is repeatedly personified as a woman crying out to mankind in the marketplace, offering to instruct all so that they may obtain wisdom (cf. 1:20ff.; 8:lff.). Within our generation there has been a virtual explosion of knowledge. Much of this has come in the form of technological advances. While knowledge is increasing rapidly, wisdom is seemingly more and more rare.
The implications of this trend are frightening. We now have the capability of reaching the moon and splitting the atom. Yet without wisdom men will too often utilize knowledge for the purpose of accomplishing evil, rather than doing good. Let me give you an illustration. Through a procedure known as amniocentesis, medical science has made it possible to determine the sex of a fetus while yet in the womb. By withdrawing a small amount of amniotic fluid from the womb of an expectant mother, a doctor cannot only detect the presence of over 70 genetic diseases, but also the sex of the unborn infant. I read of one couple who asked the doctor to perform such a procedure and informed them that their baby was normal. Learning that the sex of their healthy unborn child was not what they desired, they insisted on an abortion, for this reason alone. The technology (knowledge) was not wrong, but it was misused due to a lack of wisdom and character. Proverbs is more interested in making men wise than in making them smart.
Biblical wisdom has several facets. While we will devote much of our attention to these facets in future studies, let me summarize the primary characteristics of the wisdom which Proverbs offers. Wisdom has an intellectual dimension. Wisdom is a keenness of mind which enables us to assimilate and appraise information and to formulate a plan of action. Scott says, “The primary meaning of Hokmah is ‘superior mental ability or special skill’. . . ”4 It is important to differentiate between wisdom and intelligence, however. Many who are intellectually brilliant are biblically “fools.” Those whose I.Q. fails to rise above average are not, by this fact alone, excluded from the possibility of being biblically wise. In the first chapter of Proverbs wisdom is described as the ability to know (v. 2), to learn (vv. 2-4) and to understand (v. 6).
Wisdom is also described as the ability to discern (Prov. 1:2; cf. v. 4, “discretion,” which is from the same root). Wisdom has a moral, as well as a mental, dimension. Wisdom discerns truth from error, good from evil, best from good. Wisdom results in righteousness, justice, and equity (1:3). Since wisdom begins with the “fear of the Lord” (1:7), knowing good and doing it results from knowing God (cf. 22:17-21).
Wisdom is also a practical skillfulness, the ability to do things well. Bezalel, whose task was to design and create the stone and metal for the tabernacle, was “filled with the Spirit and wisdom” (Ex. 35:31) to enable him to accomplish this task. Likewise Oholiab, was skillful at engraving and designing embroidery (Ex. 35:34-35). In Psalm 107:27 the special skills of seamanship seem to be referred to by this same term (Hokmah). Thus wisdom is not just a mental ability or a moral sensitivity, but a practical ability to accomplish a variety of tasks.
Wisdom is also personified in Proverbs. In chapter 7 wisdom is likened to a woman who calls forth to men to fear the Lord, hate evil, and diligently seek her. This is in contrast, I believe, to the adulteress of chapter 7, who by her flattery and seductive ways, seeks to lure the simple to do evil. In chapter 8 wisdom is again personified as being with God at the creation of the world (vv. 22-31). I believe it is safe to say that this implies that ultimately wisdom is the person of our Lord Jesus Christ, so that we cannot possess wisdom without first bowing before Him as Savior and Lord.
4. PROVERBS TEACHES US THAT WHAT IS GOOD IS ALSO WHAT IS RIGHT. In his book, Situation Ethics, Joseph Fletcher refers to an incident in the book, The Rainmaker, by M. Richard Nash. The Rainmaker comes to bring rain to desperate farmers, whose crops and herds are dying. While staying at a particular ranch, the Rainmaker met the proverbial farmer’s daughter. This woman was lonely and desperate, and doubted her femininity. Feeling sorry for her, the Rainmaker made love to her, to reassure her. When her brother discovered what had happened to her, he drew his pistol and was about to shoot the Rainmaker. Her father, however, whom Fletcher referred to as a “wise old rancher,” grabbed the pistol from the brother with the rebuke, “Noah, you’re so full of what’s right you can’t see what’s good.”5
Situationalists would have us distinguish between what is right and what is good. Many Freudian psychiatrists would go so far as to say that what is good (i.e., Christian morality and biblical standards) is really evil, something to be overcome, a kind of Victorian hang-over. The underlying premise on which the Book of Proverbs is based is that what is right is also what is good. While there is no guarantee that doing the right thing will always produce a fairy-tale happy ending, doing what is right is always advocated as the best course of action. There is no mere pragmatism in Proverbs.
I know some Christians who think of Proverbs as a sanctified version of How to Win Friends and Influence People. I think they are wrong. While it is true that Proverbs teaches us how to be happy and prosperous, this is not the primary aim of the book. More than anything we are encouraged by Proverbs to be godly and righteous in our conduct. Those who pursue happiness as their goal in life will not find it, but those who seek holiness will find happiness as a pleasant by-product. Proverbs never promises that everyone who works hard will get rich or that honesty always is more profitable than crime. As a rule, this is the case, but there are many exceptions. If I live life wisely, I will not suffer the consequences of folly. If I stay within the speed limit, I will not suffer by paying speeding tickets. If I don’t rob others, I won’t have to worry about going to jail for robbery. But Proverbs hints at what other Scriptures tell us clearly--the righteous will sometimes suffer because they are righteous (cf. II Tim. 3:12).
5. PROVERBS HELPS US TO LOOK AT LIFE REALISTICALLY. In Proverbs ignorance is not bliss and naivet is more a vice than a virtue. While simplicity is not necessarily sin, it can easily lead to it. Our Lord instructed His disciples to be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” (Matt. 10:16). Unlike Satan, who invited Eve to attain a “higher” knowledge of good and evil by disobeying God and experiencing sin (Gen. 3:5), Proverbs would instruct us about evil so that we might not fall into temptation (cf. Prov. 7:6ff).
God does not want Christians to look at the world through rose colored glasses. We are to see men as they are, and sin for what it is. Consequently, Proverbs describes life as it is, not necessarily as it should be. While it is wrong to attempt to pervert justice with a bribe (17:23; 29:4), in the world it is often a bribe that gets things accomplished (17:8). Those who have had military experience know this as the “whiskey and cigarette system.” While riches cannot provide a man with real security (11:4,28), some may think so (18:11). Money appears to gain friends (19:4, 6), but only for as long as it lasts (19:7). We can live wisely and righteously only as we view life as it really is. Proverbs is a book of reality.
6. PROVERBS IS AS CONCERNED WITH THE PROCESS OF RIGHT THINKING AS WITH THE PRODUCT OF IT. Christianity is a faith which is based on propositional revelation. While it is important to study the Bible to know what to think, it is just as vital that Christians learn how to think. Most of the Bible was written to convey propositional revelation. Proverbs also has many important truths (propositions, statements, cf. 16:4), but it also seeks to develop a mature process of thinking. The terms employed in Proverbs 1:1-6 inform the reader at the start that it is not a sequence of truths which is being transmitted, but the ability to discern and apply truth.
7. THE METHOD OF TEACHING EMPLOYED IN PROVERBS IS MOST LIKE THE INSTRUCTIONAL METHOD OF OUR LORD. While the vast majority of sound Biblical exposition found today is done chapter by chapter and verse by verse, this was not the case with either our Lord or the apostles. If we were to use one word to describe the teaching method most characteristic of our Lord, I believe that it would have to be parables6 (cf. Matt. 13:lff., Mark 4:lff.). Parables were used to conceal the truth from those on the outside, those who had already rejected Jesus as the Messiah (cf. Mark 3:22-30; 4:10ff.), as well as to provoke the disciples of our Lord to thought and inquiry (cf. Mark 4:10-11). In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the Greek word parabole was consistently used to translate the Hebrew word mashal (proverb).7
8. PROVERBS IS A KEY BOOK FOR OBTAINING DIVINE GUIDANCE. One would not immediately expect to read the Book of Proverbs in order to learn the will of God, but this is one of the purposes of the book stated in Proverbs 1:5: “A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel.”
The expression “wise counsel” is derived from the Hebrew root meaning “rope.” This “rope” was connected to the rudder of a ship, thereby being the means of determining its course. By obtaining wisdom which Proverbs offers to teach us, we are enabled to make right decisions which will set a godly course for our life.
These are some of the benefits which the student of Proverbs can expect to gain. If all Scripture is profitable (II Tim. 3:16), Proverbs is especially so. Let us therefore begin our study of this book with eager expectation. James encourages us to pray for wisdom (James 1:5); Proverbs urges us to seek it by diligent study. Let us pray as we study this book, seeking the wisdom which comes only from God.
Proverbs were not a Hebrew invention. The use of proverbs was common in ancient civilizations. Documents which archaeologists have discovered from the Ancient Near East record Egyptian, Akkadian, and Babylonian proverbs, some of which are remarkably similar to those in the Book of Proverbs.8 Proverbs are also common today. I remember reading a proverb by Mark Twain years ago, which I have not been able to forget. Any school board members please forgive me; it is the only one of his proverbs I can recall:
First God made idiots.
That was for practice.
Then He made school boards.
The Hebrew term rendered “Proverb” (mashal) means “to be like.” The verb form of this word is used, in Psalm 143:7, to refer to a comparison. In the Old Testament this Hebrew word is used for a broad range of literary forms. It can refer to a popular, pithy, saying (Ezek. 18:2f.; cf. Jer. 31:29), a truth gained from personal experience and of general application (I Sam. 24:13), a medium of moral instruction (as in Proverbs 10:26, also Matt. 13:lff., “The Kingdom of Heaven is like . . .”), a riddle or allegory (Ezek. 17:2), or a short didactic essay or sermonette (Prov. 1:10-19; 31:10-31).9 Because of the broad use of the term “proverbs,” it is probably best, as Crenshaw suggests, to think of proverbs generally as “sayings.”10
Several features are common to most of the proverbs we will be studying. The first is brevity. Most of the proverbs are only two lines long:
The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray (Prov. 12:26).
As a preacher, it makes me very uncomfortable to point out that the book of Proverbs demonstrates the art of the unsaid. Most of us think that great ideas need many words to convey. If a picture is worth a thousand words, so is a proverb.
Brevity is one of the marks of wisdom. It is the fool who wants to speak his whole mind, while the wise never tells all that he knows:
A prudent man conceals knowledge, But the heart of fools proclaims folly (Prov. 12:23).
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (15:28).
A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (18:2).
The wise are marked by an economy of words, while the fool blurts out everything that is on his mind. Proverbs demonstrates this economy of words.
Second, the few words which are spoken are well chosen. McKane comments,
The wise man is the master of compressed, polished, epigrammatic utterance; he gathers his thoughts into memorable forms of expression. The function of the Proverb is to illumine, and not to present a barrier to intelligibility.11
Often there is a note of humor involved, such as when the sluggard convinces himself that he cannot go outside to work because “there is a lion in the road” (26:13). Then too, some descriptions are so graphic they are almost impossible to forget. The beautiful woman without discretion is likened to a pig with a gold ring in its nose (11:22). This skillfullness in portraying truth is consistent with the wisdom of Proverbs. An idea worth communicating is worth communicating clearly and forcefully:
The wise in heart will be called discerning, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds persuasiveness to his lips (Prov. 16:21,23).
Those who would convey wisdom by means of a proverb must make their message “short and sweet.”
There is also an element of the enigmatic in Proverbs. Some Bible students have been perplexed by the apparent contradiction in these two Proverbs:
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool as his folly deserves, Lest he be wise in his own eyes (Prov. 26:4-5).
It is not by accident that these two Proverbs are found side by side. The apparent contradiction is by design. It compels the reader to ponder the matter much more seriously than he otherwise would. This element of enigma and mystery is the stimulus for the student to go the extra mile in his study.
To me Proverbs is to other forms of literature what radio is to television. Television supplies us with both verbal and visual data, but it does all the work for US. We become passive in the process of watching TV. Reading Proverbs is like listening to “The Shadow” on old time radio. We are not given all the data, but what is given heightens our interest and our imagination. We are intellectually active as we read, intent on understanding what is being said. That is a part of the genius of the proverb.
The proverb is a form of Hebrew poetry and is different from what most of us are accustomed to reading as poetry today. While our poetry frequently is organized according to the similarity of sounds, Hebrew poetry is based upon the similarity of thoughts arranged in parallel statements. Several types of parallelism are common in Proverbs. It will greatly enhance our study of Proverbs if we understand the major kinds of Hebrew parallelism.
Antithetical parallelism is the contrasting of two ideas. The second line is often introduced by the word “but,” which contrasts the idea of the first line with that in the second:
The fear of the Lord prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened (Prov. 10:27).
A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, But a just weight is His delight (Prov. 11:1).
Synonymous parallelism restates the idea of the first line in a different way. Continuation, not contrast, is the purpose of the second line:
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, And do not forsake your mother’s teaching (Prov. 1:8).
Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your mind to my knowledge (Prov. 22:17).
Synethetic Parallelism expands upon what has been stated in the first line. While synonymous parallelism repeats what has been said in the first line, synthetic takes the thought of the first line farther--it develops the first thought:
He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered (Prov. 21:13).
Numerical Proverbs use numbers to structure:
Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up:
Under a slave when he becomes king, And a fool when he is satisfied with food,
Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress (Prov. 30:21-23).
Proverbs are a form of poetry. We will benefit greatly from studying Proverbs as we better understand the nature of Hebrew poetry and the various forms of parallelism which are employed here.
While Solomon did not write all of the Proverbs (cf. 30:1; 31:1), the majority are attributed to him (cf. I Kings 4:32; Prov. 1:1; 10:1; 25:1). It is tragic to observe that in spite of all that Solomon wrote concerning women (cf. 5:lff.; 6:24ff.; 7:lff.; 8:lff.), they were the cause of his downfall.
Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along the daughter of Pharoah: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord has said to the sons of Israel, “You shall not associate with them, neither shall they associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods.” Solomon held fast to these in Love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away. For it came about when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been (I Kings 11:1-4).
This was not the only instance of Solomon’s failure to heed his own counsel. After all the Proverbs he wrote on child-rearing (cf. 1:8ff.; 4:1-4; 10:1; 13:24; 22:6,15) he failed to raise a son who was wise. Rehoboam, Solomon’s son, refused to listen to the counsel of the older and wiser advisors of his father, and, as a result the kingdom was divided (I Kings 12:1-15).
From the failure of Solomon I believe we should learn two lessons. First, we should expect to be put to the test in those areas where we seem to be strongest. As I have observed life for a few years I find that those men who have the most to say about raising children (especially those whose children are not yet grown) will likely be tested in this area. Those who speak about submission to authority, will probably be tested in their willingness to submit to the authority of others. Those who proclaim the doctrine of the sovereignty of God will frequently be placed in circumstances where their faith in God’s sovereignty is put to the test.
Our greatest strengths can become our ruin. The gifted Bible teacher may begin to listen to the praise of others and begin to feel infallible and authoritarian. He may begin to proclaim his insights rather than God’s instructions. The one who is gifted of God to be able to give may begin to do so in such a way as to get the glory for himself. David had a heart for God all the time that Saul sought to kill him, but once David was comfortably enthroned, he became complacent. The man who single-handedly took on Goliath now was so cocky he felt it unnecessary to even go out and fight with his troops. As a result, David fell into sin with another man’s wife (II Sam. ll:lff.). Let us beware of our strengths (cf. I Cor. 10:12).
The second lesson we should learn from Solomon is that knowing the right thing to do is not enough. Wisdom is, first and foremost, a relationship with God. Wisdom is not just the knowledge of certain truths, but the obedient practice of them. I fear that Solomon deceived himself into thinking that he could “beat the system” because he knew so much about women. His knowledge may have inclined him to believe that he could sin and keep it under control. In the final analysis, though, the problem was not in Solomon’s head, but in his heart.
Then he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live.” Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life (Prov. 4:4,23).
How is your heart, my friend? Have you come to submit your life, your eternal destiny, to the Lord Jesus Christ? He died for your sins, and He offers you His righteousness, which alone will enable you to enter into God’s heaven. Wisdom begins here, with the fear of the Lord (cf. Prov. 1:7; 9:10; 15:33). You will never be wise until you come to know Him “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col. 2:3).
1 Alexander Solzhenitsyn, A World Split Apart, St. Croix Review, October, 1978, pp. 9-22.
2 There are various interpretations of this verse. For a more detailed description, see Lesson 14 in this series.
3 I am indebted to Edgar Jones for this insight into the relationship between Proverbs and the Old Testament Prophets. Jones also writes, “Proverbs brings the passion and the vision of the prophets to the humdrum immediate concerns of everyday life. The writers of Proverbs rarely sound a trumpet note but they presuppose that it has been heard.” Edgar Jones, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1961), p. 47.
4 R. B. Y. Scott, The Way of Wisdom in the Old Testament (New York: Macmillan Company, 1981), p. 6.
5 As quoted by Franz Ridenour, The Other Side of Morality (Glendale, CA: Regal Books), P. 39.
6 “It has been estimated that roughly one third of the recorded teaching of Jesus consists of parables and parabolic statements.” C. H. Peisker, “Parable, Allegory, Proverb.” The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976), II. P. 743.
10 James L. Crenshaw, Old Testament Wisdom (Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1981), P. 67.
11 William McKane, Proverbs (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1970), p. 267.
Two dangers are predominant in the first nine chapters of Proverbs: the perversity and violence of wicked men, and the wiles of seductive women. Both of these are found in the second chapter:
To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things;
From those who leave the paths of uprightness, To walk in the way of darkness;
Who delight in doing evil, And rejoice in the perversity of evil;
Whose paths are crooked, And who are devious in their ways;
To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
That leaves the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God;
For her house sinks down to death, And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again, Nor do they reach the paths of life (Prov. 2:12-19).
In this message we will deal with the first danger--that of perverse men. In our next lesson, we will study the two women: Madam Folly and Dame Wisdom.
At first glance it seems incredible that a father would find it necessary to warn his son about the solicitations of violent men to join them in their life of crime. Several factors, however, incline me to take this danger much more seriously than I might otherwise do. Let me begin with some of the reasons why such a lifestyle would be appealing to a youth.
First, children, while sometimes sweet and innocent, have a natural inclination toward cruelty. When I finished my first year of seminary, we returned to our home state of Washington to spend the summer there. The grade school principal contacted me and asked me to finish out the year for a mature woman who had been a fine teacher for many years. For some reason she began to lose her control of the class. This fourth grade class sensed her weakening and instead of coming to her rescue, set out to totally devastate her. They were successful. There was a fair measure of cruelty in their actions. Children, as we know, can be especially cruel to other children too.
Second, violence has an attraction for young people, even those who have been raised in a warm and loving home. A little while ago I read an article on the family of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson. It described the life of the Nelson family during the years the program was on television, as well as the life of David and Ricky since. The thing that caught my eye was that Rick joined a group of “hoods.” The writer said this of Rick’s new associations: “Most of his fellow hoods, Ricky later explained, ended up in jail and went into bigger things--like armed robbery.”12
Third, violence is a way of life for Americans. The media is saturated with violence. A recent study revealed that violence on television has increased 33% in the past year (1981-1982). The incidence of violence on the American television screen is four times greater than that of two Canadian networks.13 The television heroes are men of violence. The toys our children play with are often implements of violence or war. Perhaps even the electronic games may be considered violent in nature.
All of this should bring us to an awareness of the appeal of violence in our culture. Yet this violence, according to the Book of Proverbs, is a part of the evil way which we are to avoid. Let us carefully consider this danger as we approach our study.
Verses 8-19 are addressed to a son who is young and inexperienced and who is, as yet, relatively innocent. Wisdom speaks through the parents of the lad, his mother and father (v. 8). I understand the young man to have reached his teen years, the point at which he is facing adulthood and has to make decisions on his own. At this point in life he is inclined to look more to his peers than to his parents for guidance and direction. He will normally begin to question the values taught by his parents. The father urges his son not to forsake what he has been taught and to avoid the evil way advocated by at least some of his peers.
The intention of the father’s words recorded here is preparative and preventative. The child has not yet been approached by evil men, but that may soon come. In the words of a contemporary proverb, “a stitch in time saves nine.” I believe it was Mark Twain who said, “It’s easier to stay out than to get out.” This father is attempting to spare his son the heartache of choosing the wrong way by following the wrong friends and forming unwise associations.”
Verses 8-10 contain the appeal of this wise father in the most general terms. Both mother and father have faithfully taught this lad, and that instruction should not be carelessly set aside as the boy begins to experience a greater measure of independence and outside influence. Positively stated, adherence to parental teaching will beautify and enhance any child (assuming, of course, that the parental instruction has been godly).
Sweet and innocent as children may often be, there is natural inclination toward foolishness and rebellion in the heart of every child (cf. 22:15). Consequently the parents’ words are not what a child himself is inclined to think. Parents of teenagers will probably agree with me that parental teaching and standards of conduct are thought to be a “pain in the neck,” not an ornamental and beautifying chain about the neck (v. 9).
The assumption underlying the appeal of the father in this chapter is that wisdom is largely conveyed to a child through his parents. But at this point in the life of a young man, that assumption is often challenged. Have you ever had the distinct impression from your teenage child that it is you who are naive, while the child is sophisticated and worldly-wise? Parents are never so backward or ill-informed as during the teen years of their children. Our children roll their eyes and merely tolerate the ideas and ideals as an anachronism from the days following the Flood. The father urges his son not to allow this youthful and erroneous mentality to control his thinking.
Verses 11-14 move from the general to the specific. In verse 10 the child was urged to reject the enticement of the wicked. Now the father forewarns his son in a much more specific way by supplying him with the substance of the appeal. The words “Come with us . . . ” in verses llff. are spoken by the father, but they are the essence of the appeals which will shortly face the young lad who must cope with peer pressures. This wise father knows what his son will soon face and his words are prophetic.
The godly parent can learn from the instruction of this father. Our inclination is to say something like this to our children, “Now, Johnny, when I was a boy . . . ” To our children that is mere history, and it seems to have little relationship to their lives. Our children cannot fathom the fact that “nothing is new under the sun.” To them, we are the product of another dispensation, and our experiences in the past have no direct connection with them. This wise parent does not speak of the past, but of the future. When sinners approach this son, as the father knew they would, they will show the lad how right his father was. Many of us who are parents have not come to appreciate the value of knowing the temptations our children are facing and of preparing them to meet them before they come alone. Usually we procrastinate and face problems only after they have reached crisis proportions. We can learn from the wisdom of this father.
Let us look more carefully at what it is that evil men offer our children and which they find so appealing.
The first enticement is that of group acceptance and identity. In the teen years children establish their self-esteem more in the way their peers view them than by what their parents think of them. The result is a tremendous sensitivity toward what their peers think, and a strong inclination to be accepted by their own age group. Peer pressure is never stronger. The sinners who entice the young man, I believe, are those whom the child wants to impress, and are probably near his age group or a little older. Within the group there is acceptance, significance, and security--all of which the youngster craves.
Have you ever noticed that people will do things as a part of a group that they would not consider doing as individuals? Mass demonstrations and riots are examples of how group pressure can be used to promote what is evil. That is not to say that all group involvement is bad, for group pressure can work for the good as well as evil. In Hebrews we read,
And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near (Heb. 10:24-25).
The evil is not in group involvement, but in involvement with the wrong kind of group, with those who entice us to join them in doing evil.
The second enticement of sinners is the promise of material gain:
“We shall find all kinds of precious wealth, We shall fill our houses with spoil; Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse” (1:13-14).
Prosperity is never considered evil in Proverbs, unless it has been gained by sinful means (10:2; 13:11; 19:22; 28:6). Godliness and wisdom are often followed by prosperity (3:9-10,16). But the gain which is offered by the wicked is the result of violence. It is not by diligence and hard work that the wicked become prosperous, but by robbery (1:11-12). Individual effort is down played, and the comfort and prosperity is to be found in a communistic work ethic (1:14).
The third enticement is the excitement and sense of power and exhilaration inherent in crime. Young people get tired of being told that they are to be seen and not heard. They want to be important and able to wield power over others. A life of crime is one quick way of obtaining a sense of power. Looking at a teenager from the wrong side of a 45-caliber revolver appears to give him great respect. A life of crime offers youngsters a chance to experience the chills and thrills they love. The dangers involved only enhance the appeal. After all, why do so many young Americans (and older ones too) pursue hobbies and sports which endanger life and limb?
In verses 15-19 the father makes a final appeal, based upon the enticement he has just described. Verse 15 pleads with the son to avoid this evil way. Verses 16-19 give two reasons to avoid all such offers. In verse 16 we find the first reason-because the money and the excitement of this kind of life are at the expense of others. These are violent men, who are not only hasten to shed blood, but are prone to do so. I know many of you will find this hard to believe, but the three months I spent teaching in a state prison convinced me that there are some who would stab you for the sheer enjoyment of watching you bleed to death. Such men must be avoided.
Verses 17-19 explain the second reason why a life of violent crime is evil--it destroys the villain as well as the victim. While the evil man may be willing to destroy others, he should be warned that he also destroys himself.
Indeed, it is useless to spread the net In the eyes of any bird; But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors (1:17-19).
Bible students have found these verses especially difficult to interpret. There are two explanations which are most frequently offered, and it is the second to which I am inclined. The first view is that birds are smarter than most crooks. The bird, we are told, is smart enough to avoid any trap that it sees being set. Although grain is set out, the bird will not touch it, for it knows that there is a trap and that it will be caught. Criminals are not even as smart as birds because they follow a life of crime, unaware that they are bringing about their own destruction.14
The thrust of the second explanation is that such criminals have no more sense than birds, who, having watched the trap being set, allow their appetite for grain to overrule all sense of danger, to their own destruction. Birds watch the net being spread and sprinkled with grain. But sooner or later their eyes behold only the grain and seeking to satisfy their appetites, they descend on the grain, destroying themselves in the process. So it is with those wicked men who choose to live a life of violent crime. They, like unreasoning animals, allow their appetites to reign. Such men are worse than birds. Men have minds and are capable of discerning danger. Men also have parents, who have warned of such evil. Men also are less to be pitied because they lay the trap for themselves by their violence, while birds are the victims of a trap not of their own making. Like Haman, who built a gallows on which to hang Mordecai, yet died on it himself (cf. Esther 7), those who choose to live by the sword, will die by it (cf. Matt. 26:52).15
A noticeable change occurs when we come to verses 20-33. In the previous verses wisdom was spoken by a father to a young, impressionable boy. In verses 20ff. wisdom is personified as a woman. She is not speaking to the innocent, but to the guilty. The father urged his son to avoid the evil way; wisdom now speaks to those who have chosen to follow the evil way. The first discourse is preventative; the second is prescriptive. The point is that there are both young fools and old fools. The wisdom of Proverbs is for fools of all ages. While there is no wide-eyed optimism that many will forsake their evil ways and turn to wisdom, the offer is nevertheless made to all.
Verses 20 and 21 introduce us to wisdom personified as a woman and to the place where wisdom is proclaimed. In a nation where righteousness is encouraged and sin is restricted, wicked men cannot entice others to follow them as openly. But while evil men are forced to entice secretly, wisdom calls out to all men from the public places, where the masses are found. The gates of the city (v. 21) are the place where the elders sit and judicial matters are settled (cf. Ruth 4:lff.).
The inference of these verses is clear. We can learn a great deal by considering the source of the “wisdom” which is offered. Wisdom, we know from the previous verses, was to be found in parental counsel and instruction. Here, wisdom is to be gained from the elders of the city, from men who are recognized for their maturity and godliness. The evil men of verses 10-14 will hardly be found in the city gates, for such ilk lurk in the dark alleys and come out at night. Their “wisdom” is not proclaimed publicly, but whispered in private.
If the “son” of verses 8ff. is young and innocent, those addressed in verses 22 and 23 are not so. Ignorance and innocence are not their problem, but willful rejection of the way of wisdom. “How long, 0 naive ones,” wisdom cries, “will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, And fools hate knowledge?” (v. 22). Those who are simple love it and those who are scoffers take pleasure in it. It is not that knowledge was unavailable, but that it was unacceptable--they hate it (v. 22).
Wisdom’s words are appropriately those of correction. “Turn to my reproof,” she admonishes (v. 23). Wisdom calls upon guilty sinners to repent. The only way for sinners to obtain wisdom is for them to turn from their wicked ways, renounce their folly, and walk in the way of righteousness.
Wisdom does not come naturally, but folly does. Consequently wisdom requires a supernatural source (I Cor. 2:6-16). Wisdom therefore offers to pour forth her spirit on those who will flee from folly and turn to her (v. 23). The “spirit” which wisdom offers men is, I believe, the Holy Spirit, who enlightens our minds and illuminates the Scriptures, resulting in an understanding of divine wisdom (cf. Eph.1:17; Col.1:9). It is my personal conviction that Christians see too little of Christ and of the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament. I find it difficult not to see this text as a reference to the Holy Spirit.16 There is good reason for wisdom’s solemn warning.
Those who have chosen the way of folly are on a path which leads to destruction. In verses 17-19 the father urged his son not to join the evil men because they were on a self-destructive course. In verses 24-32 wisdom warns men who are already on a course of destruction. There are three dominant themes in these verses.
The first theme is that men are on the wicked way because they have chosen to be there:
“Because I called, and you refused; I stretched out my hand, and no one paid attention; And you neglected all my counsel, And did not want my reproof” (vv. 24-25).
“Because they hated knowledge, And did not choose the fear of the Lord. They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof” (vv. 29-30).
From verse 7 we learned that the beginning of wisdom is the moral decision to fear God and to turn from evil (cf. 3:7). Those who are here warned by wisdom are those who have willfully chosen to reject her call and to follow the way of evil.
Men do not reject wisdom for folly, they reject wisdom as folly. Few people pursue the way of evil because they know it is foolish. They do so because, in their minds, they are smarter than the rest.
The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can give a discreet answer (26:16).
When I worked in the state prison, many prisoners openly indicated that they believed I was the fool, not they. I chose to work long hours in order to make a little money. They, in a few brief minutes, could rob a bank and live high for months. The wicked men of 1:11-14 are proud of their way of life. They can get rich quick, with little effort. The innocent (v. 11) are the fools from who they will quickly separate their money.
The second theme is that the choice to reject wisdom’s call has painful consequences:
“I will even laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, When your dread comes like a storm, And your calamity comes on like a whirlwind, When distress and anguish come on you” (1:26-27).
One may be troubled by the fact that wisdom seems cruel here, but wisdom warns men that calamity and disaster are the consequence of rejecting her. Evil men suffer only what they deserve. God’s justice requires that men not only receive what they have earned (e.g. “the wages of sin is death,” Rom. 6:23), but what they earnestly desired.
“So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, And be satiated with their own devices. For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, And the complacency of fools shall destroy them” (1:31-32).
The final theme is that there is a point of no return, after which repentance will be too late.
“Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently, but they shall not find me, Because they hated knowledge, And did not choose the fear of the Lord” (1:28-29).
When wisdom calls out to sinners in verses 20-33, it is not an offer than can be set aside until a more convenient time. They way of evil will eventually lead to destruction. Men cannot complacently continue to walk in the way of evil, only to repent as the consequences become evident. It will then be too late. Hell will be populated with men and women filled with remorse, but not with genuine repentance. Justice demands that men face the consequences of the way they have chosen. The time for repentance is now, not later (cf. II Cor. 6:2).
The final verse contrasts the fate of the righteous with those who have chosen the way of the wicked.
“But he who listens to me shall live securely, And shall be at ease from the dread of evil” (1:33).
Those who walk in the path of wisdom will reap the reward of sins forgiven and will not need to fear the penalty of sin. The dread of evil is only for those who practice it. Wisdom delivers men from the destruction which results from sin.
Proverbs chapter 1 is like a road map in that it outlines life in terms of only two ways--the way of wisdom and the way of folly. Wisdom leads to peace and security, while the way of folly ends with death and destruction. Everyone is on one of these two paths. The way of folly is characterized by evil men who seek material gain through violence. The way of wisdom is entered by fearing God and forsaking evil.
Because our sinful nature inclines us to the path of folly, we must make a conscious decision to be on the path of wisdom. To enter the way of folly, one simply chooses to follow those who encourage him to do what comes naturally and to reject wisdom’s call. To enter the way of wisdom one must recognize his bent toward sin, reject folly, and choose to pursue wisdom in the fear of the Lord.17 All men are forced to make a decision concerning the fear of the Lord, either to fear God (1:7) or to resist Him (1:29).
While an in-depth study of “the fear of the Lord” is worthwhile, let it suffice for now to point out that wisdom is personified in Proverbs. I believe that in addition to serving as a literary device this personification of wisdom prepares us for the incarnation of wisdom in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. Notice the striking comparison of wisdom in Proverbs with Jesus in the Gospel of John.
“The Lord possessed me at the beginning of His way, Before His works of old. From everlasting I was established, From the beginning, from the earliest times of the earth. When there were no depths I was brought forth, When there were no springs abounding with water. Before the mountains were settled, Before the hills I was brought forth; While He had not yet made the earth and the fields, Nor the first dust of the world. When He established the heavens, I was there, When He inscribed a circle on the face of the deep” (Prov. 8:22-27).
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him; and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being (John 1:1-3).
For men today there are only two ways, the way of sin and death, and the way of salvation. The determining factor is our response to the person and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. He himself claimed to be the only way to God’s heaven when He said,
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me”(John 14:6).
John the apostle wrote in the fifth chapter of his first epistle,
And the witness is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life (I John 5:11-12).
There is no more important decision, my friend, than that which determines your eternal destiny. Your eternal future is determined by your response to the person of Jesus Christ. Like wisdom in Proverbs 1, our Lord says that you are a sinner, bound for eternal destruction. He has come to the earth, lived a sinless life, and died on the cross of Calvary for your sins in order to give you a right standing with God. Will you wisely accept His offer of salvation, or foolishly reject it? The decision is yours.
There are only two wisdoms in this world, God’s wisdom and that of sinful man. To the natural man God’s wisdom appears foolish, for in His wisdom God provided salvation for men through the death of His Son:
Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. For indeed Jews ask for signs, and Greeks search for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block, and to Gentiles foolishness, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (I Cor. 1:20-25).
Wisdom is the way to life, not just a way of life. You cannot get to heaven by any other way than the way of wisdom, the way of our Lord Jesus Christ. I urge you to trust in Him for your eternal salvation.
Having said this, it is important for me to stress to those who are true Christians that wisdom is a way of life and not just a once-in-a-lifetime decision about Jesus Christ. While we must place our faith in Christ, we must also follow Him. Jesus called men to Himself with the call, “Follow Me” (cf. Matt. 4:19;10:38). The decision to trust in Christ is also the commitment to turn from our wicked ways and to begin a whole new life by following Him.
In our desire to see men and women converted to faith in Christ we can be tempted to water down the claims of Christ. Those who come to Christ must be warned about the cost of discipleship, even as our Lord urged men to count the cost of following Him (Luke 9:57-62). When men come to Christ they are leaving behind their old way of life and entering into a whole new way--the way of wisdom.
Some Christians seem to think that the ideal life is one in which we turn to Christ as our Savior, live as we always have, and get to heaven with the best of both worlds. Let me remind you that to walk in the way of folly is to walk in the way of death and destruction. It is possible for a Christian who has been genuinely saved to depart from the way of wisdom and to walk in the way of evil men. David, for example, committed adultery and murder by taking Bathsheba and killing Uriah (II Sam.11). David did not lose his salvation, but he did learn that whoever walks in the evil way suffers the consequences of sin. The Corinthian saints also learned that willful sin could result in both sickness and death (I Cor. 5:lff.; 11:27ff.). We will never lose our salvation when we sin as Christians, but we will find that all who choose to walk in the way of folly suffer the consequences of that folly. The way of wisdom is the only way to life and peace. Let us walk in it.
12 Marilyn Schwartz, “What Separates the Nelson Men from the Boys.” The Dallas Morning News, May 3, 1982, p. 6C.
13 Associated Press, “Violence on TV Rises, Groups Says.” The Dallas Morning News, May 11, 1982, p. 11C.
14 “Go not with them, for their intention is bad; go not with them, for if the bird flees away from the net which is spread out before it, thou wilt surely be so blind as suffer thyself to be ensnared by their gross enticements.” Franz Delitzsch, Biblical Commentary on the Proverbs of Solomon (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company [phoiolithoprinted], 1968), It p. 66.
15 “. . . the comparison refers not the futility of laying snares in the sight of birds (who thus see the trap and avoid it), birds who, though the snare is laid in their . . . ” (A Critical and Exegetical Commentary, C. H. Toy, & T. Clark, 1959), p. 17.
16 The translation of the New International without good cause, in my opinion. It translates my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you but to the blindness and folly of sight, nevertheless fall into it.” the Book of Proverbs (Edinburgh: T. Version differs greatly here, but verse 23, “If you have responded to and made my thoughts known to you,” rendering the Hebrew word for spirit “heart” instead. This is bad enough, but they also render verse 23 as though wisdom has already been rejected, which the Hebrew text does not indicate until the following verse. All in all, it seems best to reject the rendering of the NIV here.
17 “Here [in Proverbs] the fear of the Lord amounts to religion as we understand it today. By fear of the Lord these sages called attention to religious devotion in the richest sense of the phrase. It meant, purely and simply, that which every human being owes the Creator. That is why the editor who wrote the motto for the first collection of Proverbs can affirm that religious devotion constitutes the beginning and fundamental principle of all knowledge. Without a vital relationship with God, no one could possibly attain sufficient wisdom to merit the adjective ‘wise.’” James L. Crenshaw, Old Testament Wisdom (Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1981), P. 95.
While I was a student in seminary I took advantage of an opportunity to accompany two police officers as an observer. They were patrolling one of the higher crime areas, where there were many bars and other business establishments catering to man’s sinful nature. What puzzled me the most was the way they seemed to know who everybody was. They would point out a young woman who was a prostitute. Then they would identify the agent. I could not understand how they did it. I wondered if they were wearing name tags. How could they so easily distinguish the prostitutes from the other women around them? The fact was that they know a lot more about certain kinds of women than I did.
In Proverbs 1-9 Solomon spends a great deal of time telling us about two different kinds of women: Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly.18 We have already learned from Proverbs chapter 1 that we must avoid the way of evil men; we must also be warned that the way of evil has its seductive women. In chapters 1-9 Solomon has much to teach us about the differences between these two kinds of women. In addition, we will find that these two women personify two ways, the way of wisdom and the way of folly. Let us listen carefully to the warning of Proverbs concerning the wrong kind of woman.
The most prominent theme of Proverbs 1-9 is the contrast between Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly. In each chapter of this introductory section we find either Madam Folly (2:16-19; 5:1-14; 6:20-35), Dame Wisdom (1:20-33; 3:13-18; 4:5-9; 8:1-36), or both (7:1-4, 5-27; 9:1-6, 13-18). Both the way of wisdom and the way of folly are personified by women. This would be especially relevant in light of the father-to-son instruction which is given in Proverbs. If there is one thing a father should teach his son, it is the kind of woman to pursue and the kind of woman to avoid. Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly are literary tools to teach the young man a lesson on two levels, the literal and the metaphorical.
Let us first contrast the character of these two women. Madam Folly is not a prostitute, but an adulteress (2:16, NASB). She “leaves the companion of her youth” (2:17).The one who is foolish enough to become involved with her must deal with an angry husband (6:29-35).She must assure her victim that her husband is not at home and won’t return for some time (7:19-20).
Madam Folly is godless and immoral. She “forgets the covenant of her God” (2:17). She is often called a “foreign woman” (2:16, NASB, margin), suggesting that her religion is pagan, rather than a vital faith in Israel’s God. This term “foreign woman” is also used in I Kings 11:1 of the “foreign women” Solomon married, who turned his heart from the Lord. Madam Folly is senseless and simple (9:13). She does not consider her own path or the fact that it leads others to death. She is shameless about her sin: (4:6).
This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, “I have done no wrong” (Prov. 30:20).
Wisdom, on the other hand, is personified as a virgin, whom the wise son should pursue, and with whom he should seek a wholesome, yet intimate relationship. While a young man should avoid Madam Folly, he should pursue wisdom as he would the woman who would be his bride.
She is more precious than jewels; And nothing you desire compares with her (3:15).
“Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom: And with all your acquiring, get understanding. Prize her and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her (4:6-8).
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister.”19 And call understanding your intimate friend (7:4).
If Madam Folly is godless, Dame Wisdom is God-like. Wisdom, as represented in Proverbs, is not an abstract commodity, but a person. She offers to give men her spirit (1:23). She guards men and delivers them from the way of death (1:33; 2:16ff.; 4:6-9). She is called a “tree of life” in 3:18, an expression familiar to us from the garden of Eden (Gen. 2:9; 3:22), and from the Paradise of Revelation 22:2. In Proverbs 3:19-20 and 8:22-31 wisdom is spoken of as eternal, and as One who participated in the creation of the world. While it might be going too far to say that the description of wisdom is such that we can dogmatically say it was a reference to the Lord Jesus Christ, it certainly leaves room for such an identification. The similarities, in my opinion, are more than coincidental.
Both wisdom and folly are portrayed as pursuing men and urging them to follow in their paths. Madam Folly calls to “those who pass by,” to those “who are making their paths straight” (9:16), but she is particularly in pursuit of those who are simple, for they are the most vulnerable and likely to follow her (7:6ff.).Wisdom also calls to the simple and the fool, urging them to forsake their folly and to follow the path of righteousness and wisdom (1:22ff.; 8:4-5; 9:4).
While Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly may both pursue the same men, their message and their methods differ greatly. Dame Wisdom warns men of the destruction and death into which all who continue on the path of folly will fall (1:24ff.). She does not tell men what they want to hear, but what they need to hear if they are to be delivered from death. Dame Wisdom is straightforward, speaking of noble things (8:6-8).She offers her teaching and commandments (7:1-2), counsel and sound wisdom (8:14).She promises security (1:33), peace, long life, riches and honor (3:16-17), and, most of all, life(3:18).20
Madam Folly gives no thought to her own fate (5:6; 9:13), nor does she warn men that following her leads inevitably to death (2:18-19; 6:26; 7:22-23; 9:18). If Dame Wisdom appeals to the spiritual, Madam Folly stimulates the sensual impulses of the simple. She dresses seductively (7:10) and speaks erotically of her bed with its spices and expensive coverings (7:16-17). She offers to satiate her victim with love.
While Madam Folly may offer some outward beauty, I am not so certain that she is as beautiful as we might suppose. In Proverbs 2:17 we are told that she “leaves the companion of her youth.” She is apparently a woman who has been married for a number of years. Perhaps her makeup is used to cover wrinkles, her sleek black hair may have come from a bottle of dye, covering those gray hairs which accompany age.
Whether or not you agree with me that Madam Folly is not quite so young and pretty, I will admit that she does have some outward beauty (6:25). But her primary weapon is not her beauty; it is her tongue.
For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, And smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword (5:3-4; cf. also 2:16; 7:5; 22:14).
The one thing which Madam Folly knows better than anyone is how to flatter her victim. There is a proverb (of sorts) which says, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Madam Folly knew this, and a dinner invitation was a part of her seductive ploy (7:14), but the way to disarm a man is by appealing to his ego. Madam Folly approached the young man with these words,
“Therefore I have come out to meet you, To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you” (7:15).
In truth, Madam Folly was seeking any man foolish enough to give in to her advances. But she gave this young man the impression that of all the men she might have, it was him she really wanted.
It is my personal opinion that the male ego is the primary factor in a man’s willingness to engage in immorality. That may be true of women as well. Mind you I do not believe that the way to keep your mate is for you to flatter him, for flattery is always condemned in Proverbs (cf. 26:28; 28:23; 29:5). I do believe, however, that it is both healthy and wise to express appreciation for the positive qualities of our mates. Who, if not the husband of the virtuous woman, would have been the one “praising her in the gates” (31:31)?
One of the things to note about Madam Folly is that she too is skilled in the use of proverbs. When she seeks to seduce her prey she quotes this proverb:
“Stolen water is sweet; And bread eaten in secret is pleasant” (9:17).
While Dame Wisdom speaks only truth, Madam Folly brazenly proclaims folly. She does not apologize for sin or seek to excuse it. As a matter of fact, she flaunts sin, for it is because a relationship with her is illicit that makes it so appealing. Stolen water, she suggests, is sweeter than “drinking from your own well” (cf. 5:15). It is sinning that is exciting to the fool, and she does not hesitate to capitalize on this.
Madison Avenue has nothing to teach Madam Folly. She knows that it pays to advertise. Her methods are no different, and not one whit inferior, to those of the most sophisticated advertising agency. Basically she appeals to the fleshly desires of her victim. She offers him a sumptuous meal and a sexual encounter which matches his wildest fantasies. She assures him that there is no danger of being caught. She emphasizes momentary, short-lived pleasure, and minimizes long-range consequences.
Have you consciously analyzed the advertising on the billboards and television screen lately? Everything from deodorant to dishwashing soap is sold by women who are clad in sensual garb, who appeal to our basest appetites. We are encouraged to satisfy our desires now, and not to wait until later. We are given little plastic cards so we do not have to wait for what we want, and we are not encouraged to consider that month after month we will end up paying for something we really didn’t need. Madison Avenue and Madam Folly both would have us live today as though there were no tomorrow, offering us short-term thrills at very painful and long-term prices.
Taking these two women, Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly, on face value, there is one lesson we should learn: The priority of sexual purity. Solomon knew that there were few dangers greater than that of sexual impurity. He and the other writers of Proverbs had much to say on this subject. We know that this was the area of Solomon’s downfall (I Kings ll:lff.), as well as that of David, his father (II Samuel 11). Foreign women were a snare to Samson (Judges 14--16) and to the nation of Israel (Numbers 25:lff.). Sexual purity is a priority for those who would be godly and wise.
Proverbs reminds parents that we should not be prudish about teaching our children candidly the dangers of sexual sin. Sex is spoken of openly, yet discreetly. If we have reservations about our children learning about sex on the street or in the school, let us be sure that we do as this wise father did, who taught his son about the kind of women who should be sought, as well as those who should be shunned.
I am the father of five daughters. I do not have sons who need this warning. But the teaching of Proverbs is just as relevant to my daughters. If Proverbs instructs a young man about the kind of woman to seek and the kind to shun, it teaches my daughters the kind of women they should strive to be, by God’s grace. The world is reinforcing the model of Madam Folly. The popular movie stars, the glamorous models, the women who advertise--all are those whose moral life is sinful, and whose wiles and flattery are like that of Madam Folly. Girls are told that they can find approval by flaunting their bodies, by wearing provocative clothing, by putting on sensuous perfumes, by adorning their eyelids, and so on. The godly woman, Dame Wisdom, is not the model our young women are familiar with. The words of chapter 31 have a foreign ring, when we read,
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (31:30).
Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly are worthy of consideration by every man and woman who desires to be godly. Women are warned that it is possible for them to contribute to the spiritual downfall of a brother in Christ. Christian women are instructed not be preoccupied with outward adornment, but with inward character (I Tim. 2:9-10; I Peter 3:1-6). When Christian women are insensitive about their clothing and their conduct, they can cause a Christian brother to sin by tempting him in thought and action.
The Book of Proverbs is required reading for men who desire to be godly and free from immorality. Proverbs exalts wisdom, and it reminds us not only of the danger of Madam Folly, but of the value of a godly wife (18:22; 19:14; 31:10-31). We are encouraged to find sexual satisfaction in the purity of a marital union (5:15-23). And when we find an immoral thought coming to our minds, let us give serious though to what Proverbs informs us is the inevitable end of immorality--shame, dissipation, and death (2:18-19; 5:7-14).
Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly teach us valuable lessons in the area of sex and marriage, but I believe they teach us much more than this. In addition to providing us with instruction about two kinds of women, they personify the two ways of life--the way of wisdom and the way of folly. I will try to demonstrate five lines of evidence which indicate to the reader of Proverbs that Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly were intended to represent the two ways of life.
1. BOTH DAME WISDOM AND MADAM FOLLY ARE IDENTIFIED AS “WAYS” IN PROVERBS. In Chapter 1, Wisdom warns those who reject her that they will be “satiated with the fruit of their own way” (v. 31). In chapter 2 Wisdom is said to keep a man from the way of evil (v. 12), which is expanded on in the following verses. The way of evil is the way of wicked men (vv. 12b-15) and the way of the adulteress woman (vv. 16-22). In verses 12-22 the word “way” or “path” is found eight times, stressing the fact that the evil way is the way of wicked women and violent men. Repeatedly in the first chapter of Proverbs both wisdom and folly are described as “ways” (cf. 3:31; 4:11,14; 5:21; 6:23; 7:24-27; 8:13,20; 9:6,15). The conclusion must be that Dame Wisdom and Madam Folly are not just women; they are the personification of two ways, the way of wisdom and the way of folly.
2. THE CONTRAST BETWEEN DAME WISDOM AND MADAM FOLLY IS NOT REALLY THAT BETWEEN A GOOD WIFE AND A BAD ONE. Dame Wisdom is the kind of women a young man should seek to marry and Madam Folly is the kind of woman with whom a young man should not become involved, but the major thrust of the contrast between the two women is not sex or marriage. Elsewhere in Proverbs the wrong kind of wife is described (cf. 19:13; 30:23), as well as the virtuous wife (31:10-31), but here Solomon is not just simply contrasting two kinds of women who are candidates for courtship. My point is that the outcome of choosing the one and rejecting the other is not a good or bad marriage, but life or death. This is further evidence that while we can learn much here about the right kind of wife, that is not the primary lesson to be learned.
3. THERE ARE NOT JUST TWO KINDS OF WOMEN. If Solomon wanted to teach us about women, he would have to describe many more kinds of women than just two. I once heard Bill Gothard remark that in Proverbs it was always the woman who was the aggressor, the seducer. I had the impression at the time that Bill concluded that this is the way it always is in life. I don’t think so. Most of the infidelity I have had the unfortunate experience of observing in Christian and non-Christian marriages has not been initiated by the woman, but rather by the man. I do not think Solomon intended for us to conclude that it is most often the woman that seduces the man. Rather, I believe Proverbs pictures Madam Folly as the aggressor because she personifies the evil way. While not all women seek to seduce men, Satan is aggressively seeking to draw men away from God and into the evil way. In other words, it is a woman who is the seducer in Proverbs because she, Madam Folly, personifies sin.
4. PROVERBS SPEAKS OF DAME WISDOM AND MADAM FOLLY METAPHORICALLY. Anyone who reads Proverbs as wisdom literature recognizes that much of what is said is not be understood literally, but metaphorically. For example, in 9:1-6 Dame Wisdom is described as a virtuous and industrious woman who has built her own house, prepared a banquet, and sent her maidens out to invite men to eat with her. Few people would insist that we should take this passage literally, in that wisdom really wants to feed men. The banquet is a figure, a metaphor, illustrating the bounty of what wisdom has to offer and of the universal invitation for men to partake of it. Why then do we feel it is necessary to take the bed of Madam Folly as always literal when we take the banquet figuratively? While we must avoid the bed of Madam Folly, is that all that the way of evil has to offer? I think not. The bed of immorality must be avoided, but there are many other manifestations of wickedness besides adultery.
5. NOT ALL OF THOSE ON THE PATH OF FOLLY ARE VIOLENT MEN. In Proverbs 1 Solomon has mapped out for the reader the two ways of life. In verses 10-14 the way of evil is described in terms of wicked and violent men. I think most of us would agree that while the way of violence is an option we must deal with, the majority of those who have rejected the way of wisdom could not be described in terms of verses 10-14. From chapter two we learn that the evil way has two dangers, the first, the way of wicked men (vv. 12-15), but the second is the wiles of Madam Folly (vv. 16-22). would therefore like to suggest that Madam Folly best personifies the path of folly.
What this means is that Madam Folly best portrays the message and the method which Satan uses to deceive and destroy the majority of those who do not choose to follow the way of wisdom. Satan, like Madam Folly, will appeal to sensual desires, urging them to fill to the brim the cup of passion and desire. He will seek to show the appeal of momentary pleasure, while minimizing the consequences which inevitably follow. He will stimulate our desire to disobey God and to reject wisdom by stressing that sin is stimulating and exciting. But in the end, Satan will lead men along the same path of destruction which he himself is following. Those who follow him, like those who follow Madam Folly, will suffer the consequences of their leader.
Madam Folly is not just a seductive woman, nor immoral women in general--she personifies a system which leads men and women along a path of destruction. Those who are on the way of folly do not necessarily rob innocent victims or willfully cause injury to others (1:10-14), but they do choose to reject the way of wisdom. They choose to follow a way which seems to offer them pleasure for the present, while ignoring the future.
In the Book of Colossians, Paul warns the saints about being taken “captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ” (Col. 2:8).This system is false, first and foremost, because it rejects Christ, “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col. 2:3). It does not openly advocate violence and greed; it does not even promote immorality. In this case this adulterous system seeks to establish human righteousness by asceticism and self-denial (Col. 2:20-23).
If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch” (which all refer to things destined to perish with the using)--in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence (Col. 2:20-23).
Satan does not really care which lane you are in on the freeway to destruction. Some may choose the lane of violence and greed, while others may choose that of self-denial and asceticism. Satan will openly tempt some to commit sin and immorality, while others he will deceive with overly strict rules and regulations (of. I Tim. 4:1-5).The distinguishing characteristic of the way of folly is that it begins with a rejection of God, with a refusal to “fear the Lord” (Prov. 1:7,29). Satan allows men to be very creative in the way they go to hell. He does not care how you live, so long as you live trusting in yourself, rather than God, following your own way, rather than the narrow way of wisdom.
There is no decision in life more important than the choice as to whom you will follow. Will you follow Dame Wisdom or Madam Folly? Will you choose to submit to Jesus Christ, or will you follow Satan? The way of wisdom is the way of faith. It involves trusting God to keep His word, to save you eternally and to bless you. The way of wisdom requires that you cease trusting in yourself and trust only in Jesus Christ for eternal life (Prov. 3:5-6; John 14:6). The way of wisdom requires discipline and self-denial. But it will bring peace, security and everlasting life.
Hebrews 11 has been called the “Hall of Faith.” The men and women who are members of the Hall of Faith are those who have chosen to endure present affliction, while awaiting their future reward:
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God, than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin; considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward (Heb. 11:24-26).
Jesus Christ, like Dame Wisdom, calls on you to forsake your evil way and to follow Him. Will you persist in seeking only momentary pleasure, or will you choose the way of righteousness and peace which leads to eternal salvation? Jesus Christ is that way (John 14:6). By faith in Him, you may enter into the way that leads to life.
Christian friend, Madam Folly frequently passes our way, calling to those “who are making their paths straight” (Prov. 9:15). She will focus our attention on the passing pleasures of sin, and will minimize the consequences. She will urge us to forget the future and live for the moment. We must not listen to her, for we are but strangers and pilgrims on the earth:
Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul (I Peter 2:11).
18 The titles “Dame Wisdom” and “Madam Folly” I obtained from James L. Crenshaw, Old Testament Wisdom (Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1981), P. 72.
19 The Hebrew word rendered “sister” here is used in Song of Songs (4:9,10,12; 5:1,2) with the sense of “lover.” It seems to have that nuance here as well. The young man is therefore urged to pursue wisdom as a lover and intimate friend, a healthy contrast to Madam Folly.
20 While “life” and “death” were terms primarily focusing on earthly blessing or difficulty, there is at least the inference that there is life or death beyond the grave. After a helpful discussion of “life” and “death” Kidner concludes: “Life after death lies beyond the horizon of Proverbs . . . But there are two sayings about natural death which draw attention to some form of hope or confidence which the wicked man forfeits at that point (11:7, ‘when a wicked man dieth, his expectation shall perish’) and the good man retains (14:32, . . . , ‘but the righteous hath hope in his death’). Later revelation was to fill in that outline; meanwhile the bare assurance that one’s labour was, in some unspecified way, ‘not in vain in the Lord’ inspired a hope that eventually was to seek and receive a fuller answer.” Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), P. 56.
There is a great deal of difference between being simple and being stupid. To most of us the word “simple” conjures up thoughts of a near imbecile, or, as some would put it, a person who is several bricks short of a load. That is not what is meant by the term “simple” in the Book of Proverbs. Being simple is a stage in the development of every person, very much like adolescence. Everyone must go through the “simple” phase of life, just as they go through puberty. But simplicity is also a very dangerous time in life because those who are simple are so vulnerable and gullible. Furthermore, being simple is one short step from being a fool, so this critical period in life must be lived very carefully. Those of us who have already passed this point in life may now have children who fall into this category, but if not, we will nevertheless find it necessary to deal with those who are simple. Therefore, we too must listen well to the words of Proverbs as they define both the condition and the cure for those who are simple.
Our study of the simple will begin with an analysis of the passages in Proverbs which describe the character traits of the simple as well as the consequences and the cure of simplicity. We will then look at a case study of the simple given in Proverbs 7.From this we will attempt to derive some specific principles which will enable us to deal more effectively with the simple. I will also try to demonstrate that it was not simplicity which resulted in the fall of the simple in Proverbs 7. I believe that all men fall in the same way as the simple did in this account, and thus this passage will provide all of us with a lesson in avoiding needless temptation and the devastating results of sin.
Being simple is like having pimples--it comes with adolescence. Almost unconsciously we regard the simple as those who are young. Several Proverbs suggest by their parallelism that being simple is nearly synonymous with being young:
To give prudence to the naive [lit., simple], To the youth knowledge and discretion (1:4).
And I saw among the naive [lit., simple ones], And I discerned among the youths, A young man lacking sense (7:7).
If simplicity is a malady of the young, there are several implications to this truth which should be noted:
1. BEING SIMPLE IS NOT A SIN, BUT A PHASE IN ONE’S GROWTH TOWARD MATURITY. Everyone goes through the stage of being simple, just as all go through adolescence. It is not a sin to be simple, just as it is not a sin to be immature.
In I Corinthians 3, Paul was writing to the carnal Corinthian saints. When they were first converted these saints were described by Paul as “men of flesh,” as “babes” (I Cor. 3:1). As such, they could only handle milk, but not meat (I Cor. 3:2). There was no condemnation for this stage of immaturity because nothing more could be expected. But Paul was writing to them after considerable time had passed, and their immaturity had become carnality--willful ignorance and immaturity. While it was not wrong to be fleshy (babes), it was sin to be fleshly (carnal). What begins as immaturity can become carnality. As a rule, those who are simple in Proverbs are simply immature.
2. SIMPLICITY IS A STAGE IN ONE’S GROWTH; BUT ONE CANNOT REMAIN SIMPLE JUST AS ONE CANNOT REMAIN AN ADOLESCENT. As the Corinthian babes had to mature or become willfully carnal, so the simple must decide to become wise or he will become a fool. Because it is a phase of life, simplicity passes and grows into something else. No one can stay simple.
3. SIMPLICITY IS NOT REMEDIED BY TIME, BUT BY CHOICE. The “son” who is being taught by his father in chapter 1 is, I believe, simple; but his father is fully aware that this lad must make a choice, either to walk in the way of the wise or to follow evil men (or wicked women) in the path of folly. This change will not be brought about by the passing of time, but by a conscious decision (1:10,15,22-23). Wisdom does not evolve, a product of time and chance; it comes from the resolve to forsake folly and to pursue wisdom as a precious treasure.
4.WHILE SIMPLICITY IS NORMALLY A MALADY OF THE YOUNG, EVERY AGE HAS ITS PITFALLS. Do not think that once one has passed through the pitfalls of youth, all danger has passed. Madam Folly has in her bag of tricks a temptation for those of every age. Paul warns Timothy about the dangers of youthfulness (cf. I Tim. 4:12; 5:1-2; 6:11), but he has instructions for the older saints as well (cf. Titus 2:2-5). Today we are well aware of what has been called the “mid-life crisis.” This helps explain David’s fall into immorality (II Sam. 11). We will never outgrow temptation. Simplicity, however, does seem to be the malady of the young.
5. SIMPLICITY IS A CONDITION FRAUGHT WITH DANGERS. The simple face great danger as a result of three contributing factors:
The naive believes everything, But the prudent man considers his steps (14:15).
The prudent sees the evil and hides himself, But the naive go on, and are punished for it (22:3; cf. 27:12).
“How long, 0 naive ones, will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, And fools hate knowledge?” (1:22).
“For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, And the complacency of fools shall destroy them” (1:32).
The naive inherit folly, But the prudent are crowned with knowledge (14:18).
6. SIMPLICITY, WHILE A DANGEROUS MALADY, IS NOT AN INCURABLE ONE. There is hope for the simple, for not all who are simple succumb to the wiles of Madam Folly. Since simplicity is a phase in the normal growth and development of a young person, it is one that every wise man and women has passed through--successfully. Simplicity is something like Vanity Fair in Pilgrim’s Progress. Every pilgrim must pass through it, and while some will succumb to its temptations, others will pass through it and be stronger for the experience.
While Madam Folly seeks to lead astray those who are simple (7:6-26; 9:13-18), Dame Wisdom also calls to the simple, warning them of the dangers ahead and urging them to turn from folly and to seek wisdom (1:20-33; 8:1-36; 9:1-6). The solution for the simple is to turn from folly, to reject wicked men and refuse evil women, and to pursue wisdom (1:23; 2:1-11; 3:1-26; 4:1-27).
There is hope for the simple. They need not learn by personal failure, for they can be instructed by the sinful choices of others:
Strike a scoffer and the naive may become shrewd, But reprove one who has understanding and he will gain knowledge (19:25; cf. 21:11).
Furthermore, the Lord does sit idly by as the simple are being seduced. For those who fear the Lord and seek wisdom there is protection:
The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me (Ps. 116:6).
While the Lord may directly intervene for the preservation of the simple, the Scriptures are His primary means of protection:
The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple (Ps. 19:7).
The unfolding of Thy words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple (Ps. 119:130).
My son, keep my words And treasure my commandments within you. Keep my commandments and live, And my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” And call understanding your intimate friend; That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words (Prov. 7:1-5).
While the simple face many dangers, they are not left to fend for themselves. Wisdom calls out to them with words of warning and a way of escape. The Scriptures are provided to make them wise. And God Himself preserves the simple who fear Him. The temptations which face the simple are no different than those faced by others, and God has provided all with a “way of escape” (cf. I Cor. 10:13).
We have attempted to summarize the teaching of Proverbs concerning the simple. In Proverbs 7 Solomon drives his point home by dramatizing the seduction of one simple fellow by Madam Folly, Verses 1-5 are the prologue, verses 6-23 the drama, and verses 24-27 the epilogue.21 Since we have already studied this chapter, focusing on the methods of Madam Folly, we will now concentrate on her victim, whom we shall name Sir Simple. Several observations will serve to clarify the reasons for his fall.
It took several readings of this passage for me to make a crucial observation: while Sir Simple fell, there were many others who were simple and did not. In verse 7 wisdom speaks of what she observed from her window: “And I saw among the naive, And I discerned among the youths, A man lacking sense.”
Sir Simple was one of a number of youths, whom Dame Wisdom could correctly call simple. Wisdom focuses attention on this young man because he, by his own waywardness, falls into sin. My point is that it was he alone, and not all those youths (all of whom were simple), who was seduced. The inference is clear: being simple is not the real problem--being sinful is. Sir Simple did not have to fall; he fell because of his own wrong choices. It is these choices which we will now look at more carefully.
In nature there are some creatures which do not stalk their prey but simply let their victim come to them. For example, some sea plants lure their prey toward them by appearing to be what they are not. Madam Folly, in chapter 7, does not stalk her prey, she waits for him to come to her. While Madam Folly was a wanderer, whose “feet do not remain at home” (v. 11), on this occasion, at least, she seems to be near her home (v. 8; cf. 9:14). Sir Simple was wandering about late at night, “passing through the street near her corner” (v. 8).
I do not think he was near her house by accident. It is my opinion that he wandered toward her house purposefully, knowing where she lived. There is a song which most of you know, a very romantic one, which has to do with a man standing on the street where the one he loves lives. Had that song been written in the days of Sir Simple, he might have been humming it the night he wandered down the street near the house of Madam Folly.
I am reminded of what I think was a true story of what an older man witnessed at a rock concert. There was a body of water nearby and the man indignantly declared that he was repulsed by the fact that a number of young people were bathing nude, and that he knew this was so because he had been watching them for hours--with binoculars. I think Sir Simple knew about Madam Folly because she was the talk of the town. He lingered about her house because he wanted to get a look at her, to see what sin was really like. I doubt very much that he planned to sin, or even wanted to initially, but he was looking for a thrill.22
Incidentally, this is typical of many, especially the immature who try to get as close to the flame as possible without getting burned. I don’t know how many times I have heard young people ask, in effect, “How far can I go?” Any time we seek to learn what the rules are, solely to come as close to breaking them as we can, we are courting sin. That is what I believe this young man was doing. If I have gone too far in what I have suggested, you will at least have to agree that if he did not actively seek out Madam Folly, neither did he flee from her. Many of us may prefer to be pure, but would like to be propositioned first, before we say no.
We cannot know the intentions of this young man as we wandered about in the darkest and most dangerous hours of the night. What we do know is that he was not deceived by Madam Folly. This woman was cunning, but not deceptive. Our text tells us that she was dressed like a harlot (v. 10).She was not a harlot, but an unfaithful wife. The reason she dressed like one was to appeal to what she knew Sir Simple was looking for. He was a thrill seeker. If he was not sophisticated enough to see what she wanted, she would dress in such a way that he could not miss it. Her approach was far from subtle. She brazenly greeted him with a kiss (v. 13), something a nice girl would never have considered doing to a stranger. She told him she was married (v. 19) and eager to drink the cup of love to the fullest (v. 18). She was anything but indirect. No matter how simple this young man was, he knew what she wanted. For whatever reason he ended up near her house, he could have (and should have) fled, once her intentions were known to him--but he stayed. He was seduced, but not deceived.
Suddenly he follows her, As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool. I have made many quick decisions in my life, some of which I have later regretted. I can remember having a salesman sitting in our living room, urging my wife and me to make an immediate decision because his offer was only good for the moment. Sir Simple made a quick decision to follow Madam Folly, as it were, to the slaughter. To Sir Simple the spiced sheets of Madam Folly were like the carrot dangled before the ox as he is coaxed into the slaughter house (vv. 22-23). Fixing his attention only on the momentary pleasures offered by Madam Folly, Sir Simple had no sense of the danger ahead. He virtually pushed and shoved, hastening his own destruction.
While it is important to observe the Sir Simple’s decision was made on impulse, it is also necessary to point out that it was but the last of a sequence of sinful decisions finalizing what had already been set in motion. I have had the experience of buying only one house, but I learned that purchasing a house involves a series of decisions and signings. One first makes a formal offer and signs it; then there is a contract signed by both parties. Finally, some time later, there is the closing, when the papers are signed which transfer the ownership of the house to the buyer.
Sir Simple only “closed the deal” with his decision in verse 22. He unwisely strolled about town, in the wrong place and at the wrong time of night., He was, as they say, “looking for trouble.” When Madam Folly approached him and boldly propositioned him, he did not flee. She flattered him, and he liked it. She enticed him, and he pondered her proposition. She assured him that a night with her would be both sensual and safe, and he believed her.
My point is that none of us should ever willingly put ourselves in the position of having to make a decision with Madam Folly standing before us on a lonely street corner in the middle of the night. Decisions made in these circumstances are exceedingly dangerous. Once we have determined to court sin, going as far as we can without getting caught, we are an easy prey for Madam Folly. How much easier it would have been for Sir Simple to have decided to go home and go to bed, than to “stand on the corner, watching all the girls go by.”
I have deliberately saved what I believe to be the initial step in this sequence of sins until last. Verses 24-27 urge the simple to listen to the warning of wisdom, and to turn from the path of Madam Folly. The end of that path is inevitably death and destruction. But why is it that Sir Simple made his way merrily down that path without any sense of danger? Was he so ignorant of the danger? Verse 25 provides us with a significant clue: “ Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths.” The problem was in the heart of Sir Simple, not his head.
My son, keep my words, And treasure my commandments within you. Keep my commandments and live, And my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” And call understanding your intimate friend; That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words.
It was not so much a decision of willful disobedience as one of default. He strayed into her path.6 Verses 1-5 of chapter 7 teach us that while Sir Simple fell due to a deliberate choice, the sequence of sinful choices begin with his neglect of wisdom. Take a closer look at these verses.
This wise father urged his son to diligently pursue wisdom through conscientiously adhering to the teaching he had given him. His commandments should be treasured, his teaching carefully guarded (“as the apple of your eye,” v. 2).23 This teaching should not go “in one ear and out the other,” but should be etched into his conscious memory and frequently meditated upon. Not only should this son master the law which his father had taught him, but he should allow the law to master him. It should be written on his heart (v. 3).
The first three verses of chapter 7 have much in common with Deuteronomy 6. Notice the words which God spoke through Moses to the Israelites:
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teaching them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on you hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write then on the door posts of your house and on your gates”(Deut. 6:5-9; cf. also vv. 20-25).
This wise father has done what Moses commanded in the Book of Deuteronomy. He has taught the law of God to his son, and now he exhorts him to make this teaching his own to treasure it and to live in obedience to it.
It is much more than just adopting the faith of his father; it is coming to value the wisdom of God as the most precious possession in life. Indeed, it is the possession of life (cf. 3:18). Because of this, this son should seek the most personal and intimate relationship with Dame Wisdom (7:4).The way of wisdom is not an academic pursuit, but a deep commitment and an intimate relationship. Wisdom is to be viewed as a “sister.” I personally understand this term “sister” in the same sense in which it is employed by the same writer, Solomon, in the Song of Songs (4:9,10,12; 5:1,2), where his “sister” is his bride and lover. Wisdom is to be sought as a lover and intimate friend. Wisdom will have no casual relationship with those who would be wise, nor is she a “stranger in the night,” as is Madam Folly.
This kind of relationship with Dame Wisdom is the preventative for the folly recorded in verses 6-27. The difference between Sir Simple and the other simple souls mentioned in verse 7 is that he had chosen to disregard the wisdom of God’s word, and his fall was the final outcome. Thus, while the fall of Sir Simple seems to occur in verse 22, it really began long before when he failed to value wisdom and casually neglected it. It was when this simple fellow chose to neglect wisdom that he began to walk in the way of folly. While its deadly end was not then in sight, it was inevitable.
Here is a tragic truth, but one that must be underscored: Sir Simple did not fall because he was simple, but because he chose to neglect the truth of the Word of God and the Wisdom of God. As Proverbs repeatedly informs us, the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (9:10; cf. 1:7). Those who fail to value the teachings of the Word of God set themselves on a course which inevitably leads to destruction and death. That ultimate destruction is not immediately apparent, however, for:
There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death (14:12).
May I ask you very candidly, my friend, which way are you on? Perhaps you have consoled yourself by thinking that you have not rejected Christ so much as you have chosen to delay a decision. You may have intended to think more of spiritual things, but you really have never gotten around to it. The danger does not seem apparent to you, just as it did not to Sir Simple. Because of your indifference to the wisdom which God has offered in the person of His Son (Col. 2:3) you have become insensitive to the destruction which lies ahead. Such decisions by default are both deadly and damning. Sir Simple has shown us the folly of his way.
I want to ask you to do something this very moment. I urge you to face the fact that the passing of time will not bring you any nearer to salvation. If you are on the way of folly, every day takes you farther away from God and renders you that much more insensitive to the Word of God. Granted, God is able to dramatically break into your life, as he did into Saul’s on the road to Damascus. But the difference between you and Saul is that he was deceived by thinking that he was really serving God by killing Christians. You are not as deceived by sin as you are seduced by it. You, like Sir Simple, know that what you are doing is wrong, but you are choosing to do it anyway. I encourage you to make a decision this very hour, as though it were your last opportunity, for it may well be. Acknowledge your sin, flee from the path of folly, and trust in Jesus Christ as God’s provision for your salvation. He died in the sinner’s place, taking your guilt and punishment. By trusting in Him as God’s provision of righteousness you will be saved. To reject Him is to reject life. To delay this decision is to continue on in the way that leads to destruction.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God” (John 3:16-18).
My Christian friend, let us learn the lesson from Sir Simple that sin frequently occurs sequentially. That is the lesson which James sought to teach in his epistle:
Let no on way when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt any one. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death (James 1:13-15).
God warned the Israelites of old that when they entered into the Promised Land and began to enjoy prosperity they would become complacent and would neglect their relationship with Him (Deut. 6:10-19). The Book of Judges records numerous examples of how the people of God neglected their spiritual lives when things were too comfortable. Neglect of God’s Word is also the first step in the downfall (not the loss of salvation) of a Christian. The church at Ephesus, had lost its initial love of God (Rev. 2:4).The saints there had not denied Him, but had become complacent and had lost the fervor of their love, which resulted in a spiritual decline.
Some among us may already have lost their first love of the Lord Jesus and His Word. While the destructive results of this may not yet be evident, they are, in my estimation, inevitable. David did not make a snap decision to sin with Bathsheba, though it may seem so. David was laying around the palace, basking in his success as a military leader, while his army was away fighting his battle in his absence (II Sam. 11:1). David should never have been laying around in bed in the first place. Had he been fulfilling his obligation as Israel’s king and military leader, he would not have been at home, lusting after another man’s wife. Probably even before this, David had grown cold in his walk with the Lord. His most fervent and passionate psalms were those written during his days of suffering and persecution under the cruel hand of Saul. But now things were going well--too well. Sin is sequential. Almost imperceptible flaws and decisions of default will eventually and ultimately lead to disaster.
Christian friend, if you will be honest, as I also must be, we should all admit that it is the tendency of our hearts, like Sir Simple, to wander from God and to neglect His precious Word. As the hymn writer put it, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the One I love.” Is that you, my friend? It is me. Let us learn from this passage that sin often is conceived long before it is born.
I have been impressed with the fact that the first nine chapters of Proverbs are almost entirely devoted to extolling wisdom and exhorting the reader to pursue it as the most valuable treasure one can acquire. Diligence and discipline are required to obtain it, but it is worth every effort. Why is so much time and effort spent to establish this point? Sir Simple has reminded us that we are inclined not to regard wisdom as highly as we must if we are to talk in the way of wisdom. Sir Simple disregarded wisdom because it was not that valuable or important to him. We disregard the Word of God and our relationship with the Lord for the same reason. No one is willing to make the sacrifices wisdom requires without first regarding it as worth the effort.
To me, this is one of the compelling reasons for worship. When we worship our Lord we concentrate on His infinite worth--His grace, His power, His love, His sacrifice on Calvary’s cross. Worship reminds us of who God is and of the infinite privilege of knowing and serving Him. Worship rekindles our desire to serve Him, regardless of the cost. We only disregard what we fail to value. Worship reorients our priorities and our value structure so that we desire to please Him at any cost.
This also serves to rebuke those of us who would seek to promote the Gospel by minimizing its cost. In one sense, salvation costs men nothing, for we cannot contribute anything to it by our works (Eph. 2:8-9). But while our salvation is free, it was not cheap, for it was obtained at the cost of the shed blood of our precious Lord. Becoming a Christian is no simple matter of giving mental assent to the fact of the Gospel. To be saved, men must not only believe certain things about Him, they must believe in Him, as God’s only provision for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of eternal life. Becoming a Christian involves much more than a once-in-time decision, as important as that is. Being saved is choosing to walk in a new way. It involves repentance--the forsaking of sin, and following the Lord Jesus as His disciple. When we minimize the cost of discipleship, we imply that being saved is not all that important. I find the Book of Proverbs stressing both the value of wisdom and the need for diligence and devotion on the part of those who would be wise. Let us never diminish the value of our salvation, nor imply that following the Savior is a matter of minimal commitment and cost.
And as they were going along the road, someone said to Him, “I will follow You wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” And He said to another, “Follow Me.” But he said, “Permit me first to go and bury my father.” But He said to him, “Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God.” And another also said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say good-bye to those at home.” But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:57-62).
May God enable us to follow Him, whatever the cost, knowing that no sacrifice is ever too great when compared with the joy of knowing and serving Him.
21 This is the outline which Kidner suggests, cf. Derik Kidner, The Proventa (Chigago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), pp. 75-76.
22 Delitzsch believes that Sir Simple loitered about the corner of Madam Folly, waiting and watching for her. He says, “On the street he went backwards and forwards, yet so that he kept near to her corner (i.e. of the woman who he waited for), i.e. he never withdrew himself far from the corner of her house, and always again returned to it.” Franz Delitzsch, Biblical Commentary on the Proverbs of Solomon (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans [photolithoprinted], 1968), I. p. 159.
23 The pupil of the eye upon whose undamaged condition the sense of sight depends, and consequently something to be guarded with the utmost care. “A. Cohen, Inaignha (London: The Soncino Press, 1946), P. 39.
Certain people immediately come to our minds with the mention of the word fool. The first person I thought of was the actor, Jerry Lewis, followed by the Three Stooges, Larry, Curly, and Mo, then the Marx Brothers, Maxwell Smart, Tim Conway, and Don Knotts. It is interesting to me that none of these men fit the definition which Proverbs gives us of the fool. The “fools” I thought of are all rather harmless creature, basically well-intentioned and innocent. All of them evoke a certain sense of pity, mixed with amusement. Not so with the fool in the Book of Proverbs. This is but one of the reasons why the study of “the fool” is important.
But if we take the words of our Lord seriously, we must begin by asking whether our study is sanctioned by Him in the light of His teaching in Matthew 5:22:
“But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother ‘Raca,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the hell of fire.”
In the Sermon on the Mount, of which this verse is a part, our Lord was attempting to show that He did not come to reduce the requirements of the Law, but to reinforce them so that they would be interpreted even more strictly than was common in Israel. Not only was it sinful to commit murder (5:21), but it was wrong to be angry with a brother (5:2f) because anger may lead to murder, just as lust may lead to immorality (5:27-30).24 To call a brother a fool is to declare him to be worthless. If a man is but a fool, a blight on society, it would be better for all if he were dead. To conclude that one is worthless, then, is to come to the conclusion that the world would best be rid of him, which is but one short step from murder. Our Lord did not condemn the assessment of a person’s character, but the assassination of one’s character.
Just as our Lord did not forbid us from discerning the character of fools, the Book of Proverbs commends this assessment as a necessity for those who would be wise. Several reasons are given for the need to discern between those who are fools and those who are wise.
1. TO ASSOCIATE WITH FOOLS IS BOTH UNWISE AND UNPLEASANT. To some degree folly is contagious, and association with a fool tends to diminish our ability to discern truth from error and wisdom from folly.
Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge (14:7).
A fool is bound for his own destruction, and he will inevitably destroy everything in his path. Those who get in the way of the fool will get hurt.
Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his folly (17:12).
The scoffer, the worst form of fool,25 is not only to be avoided, but is to be driven away.
Drive out the scoffer, and contention will go out, Even strife and dishonor will cease (22:10).
If anyone needs to be able to recognize a fool it is the young man or woman who is seeking a life’s mate. There is nothing more miserable than to be married to a fool. While Proverbs takes the positive approach here, exalting the godly wife (e.g. 31:10-31), the fool should be avoided as a partner in marriage. Abigail was married to a fool (I Sam. 25), but God was gracious enough to deliver her by his death; but this is not the norm. She may not have had much to say about her marriage to Nabal, but you do, and will have to live with your mistake in a marriage partner.
2. TO EMPLOY A FOOL IS A TRAGIC MISTAKE. Those who are responsible for hiring employees will want to take special note of the warnings of Proverbs to those who would hire a fool.
He cuts off his own feet, and drinks violence Who sends a message by the hand of a fool (26:6).
Like an archer who wounds everyone, So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by (26:10).
3. FOOLISHNESS IS INHERENT IN CHILDREN AND THEREFORE PARENTS MUST KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH FOLLY WHEN IT OCCURS.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him (22:15).
Proverbs offers hope to parents that foolishness can be cured if detected early and disciplined diligently.
4. FOOLS MUST BE DEALT WITH DIFFERENTLY THAN THOSE WHO ARE WISE. We cannot deal with all men in the same way. Our response to people must be based on the kind of character they have demonstrated.
He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself. Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, Reprove a wise man, and he will love you (9:7-8).
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool as his folly deserves, Lest he be wise in his own eyes (26:4-5).
These considerations necessitate discerning the character of others and, in particular, that of a fool. Not only will we be able to see foolishness in others as a result of our study in Proverbs, we will also see a greater measure of it in ourselves. May God enable us to be honest with ourselves, to confess our foolishness, 2 and to forsake it as sinful and destructive, both to ourselves and to others.
It is much easier to identify a fool in terms of what he is not than in terms of what he is. Notice the following characteristics of the fool as the Book of Proverbs describes him.
1. THE FOOL IS UNRIGHTEOUS. The fool hates what is holy, righteous, and good, and he loves evil.
Desire realized is sweet to the soul, But it is an abomination to fools to depart from evil (13:19).
Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool; And so is wisdom to a man of understanding (10:23).
Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will (14:9).
2. THE FOOL IS UNWISE. Throughout Proverbs the fool is the counterpart of the wise. Wisdom is contrasted with folly. The fool does not possess wisdom, cannot obtain wisdom, and would not obtain it if he could.
The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of understanding (10:21; cf. 1:20-33).
Why is there a price in the hand of a fool to buy wisdom, When he has no sense [literally, “heart”]? (17:16).
A scoffer seeks wisdom, and finds none, But knowledge is easy to him who has understanding (14:6).
Wisdom is too high for a fool, He will not open his mouth in the gate (24:7).
The fool has no capacity for wisdom. In the words of 17:16, he has “no heart” for it. He may seem to seek wisdom, but is incapable of recognizing or retaining it.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction (1:7; cf. 1:22).
The mind of the intelligent seeks knowledge, But the mouth of fools feeds on folly (15:14).
A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (18:2).
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words (23:9).
The fool is not neutral toward wisdom--he hates it. Wisdom is to the fool what liver is to me: as freely and frequently as it may be offered to me, I will do everything I can to avoid it.
3. THE FOOL IS UNREALISTIC. The fool fails to see things as they are. Reality is distorted by the fool’s distorted outlook on life.
“Proud,” “Haughty,” “Scoffer,” are his names, Who acts with insolent pride (21:24).
Why is there a price in the hand of a fool to buy wisdom, When he has no sense? (17:16).
Wisdom is in the presence of the one who has understanding, But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth (17:24).
4. THE FOOL IS UNDISCIPLINED. The fool looks upon self-control as a needless and useless denial of present pleasure. Because of this, every area of his life lacks discipline.
There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man swallows it up (21:30).
A fool’s vexation is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor (12:16).
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back (29:11).
A prudent man conceals knowledge, But the heart of fools proclaims folly (12:23, cf. 10:14).
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly (15:2; cf. 18:2,7).
It is little wonder that the fool is referred to as a “babbling fool” (literally, the foolish of lips, 10:8,10).
5. THE FOOL IS UNRELIABLE.
He cuts off his own feet, and drinks violence . He sends a message by the hand of a fool (26:6).
Like an archer who wounds everyone, So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by (26:10).
He who conceals hatred has lying lips, And he who spreads slander is a fool (10:18).
The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit (14:8).
Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool (19:1).
Even what the fool believes to be true may be only his worthless opinion. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly (15:2).
The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so (15:7, cf. v. 14).
6. THE FOOL IS UNTEACHABLE. Try as you like, attempting to teach a fool is frustrating at best, and often painful. Whenever a fool is faced with wisdom and instruction, he will reject it.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction (1:7).
Because they hated knowledge, And did not choose the fear of the Lord. They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, And be satiated with their own devices. For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, And the complacency of fools shall destroy them (1:29-32).
Whenever the fool is disciplined, he resists it.
A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is prudent (15:5).
He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, And he who reproves wicked man gets insults for himself. Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you. Reprove a wise man, and he will love you (9:7-8).
A scoffer does not love one who reproves him, He will not go to the wise (15:12).
A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding Than a hundred blows into a fool (17:10).
The folly of a fool is deep-seated. No matter how hard one strives to rid the fool of his folly, such efforts end in failure. A fool and his folly are seemingly inseparable.
Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his folly will not depart from him (27:22).
The fool cannot even learn from his own mistakes. Given the opportunity, he will repeat his folly:
Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly (26:11).
It is ironic, but true, that while the fool refuses to be taught, he is eager to teach others from his abundance of “wisdom.”
A prudent man conceals knowledge, But the heart of fools proclaims folly (12:23).
A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (18:2).
7. THE FOOL IS UNPLEASANT, UNLIKED, AND UNDESIRABLE. The fool is a menace, a detriment to society. He is a pain to his parents, for he hates them (15:20) and causes them grief (10:1; 17:21,25; 19:23). He is a disaster wherever he goes (10:14; 17:12).He hinders the understanding of others (14:7).His speech is slanderous (10:18). The fool is quarrelsome (20:3), and he stirs up dissension and anger.
A fool’s lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows (18:6).
Drive out the scoffer, and contention will go out, Even strife and dishonor will cease (22:10).
Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger (29:8).
So far as society is concerned, the fool is an abomination.
The devising of folly is sin, And the scoffer is an abomination to men (24:9).
I believe it is possible to reduce the causes of folly to two principle choices: the decision to distrust God and the decision to trust in one’s own heart.
First, the fool is one who has willfully determined not to follow the way of wisdom. Although wisdom has sought him out, he has refused and rejected her.
Because I called, and you refused; I stretched out my hand, and no one paid attention; And you neglected all my counsel, And did not want my reproof; . . . Because they hated knowledge, And did not choose the fear of the Lord (1:20-25,29).
The fool is not neutral toward wisdom, he hates it, and he loves the evil of his way (cf. 10:23;13:19; 29:27).
Second, one becomes a fool by trusting in himself. If one will not trust in God (1:7,29), he must trust in himself. Proverbs tells us that the fool is self-confident, trusting in his own wisdom, rather than in God and the counsel of those who are wise.
The way of the fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel (12:15).
To the fool, no one is more trustworthy, wise, or reliable than himself. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered (28:26).
Realizing the tendency of the fool to trust in himself enriches our understanding of one of the most familiar passages in the Book of Proverbs:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil (3:5-7).
The fool, trusting in his own understanding, rejects the fear of the Lord, and chooses to walk in the way of evil.
This decision to trust in self results in arrogance (21:24) and in a rejection of all authority, including that of one’s parents (15:5; 10:8). The fool is characterized by complacency (1:32).After all, who needs instruction, if he knows it all? Who needs correction who is never wrong? Who needs improvement, who has already arrived at wisdom and maturity? As a result, the fool has an autonomous spirit, and is reckless in his living (14:16).
Now that we have seen the characteristics of a fool and have learned the root causes of his folly, we must direct our attention to the treatment of a fool. Proverbs has a good deal to say on this subject, and nearly all of its instruction pertains to what we should not do. Our actions with regard to fools are often more negative than positive.
1. WE SHOULD AVOID THE FOOL IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. While wisdom is not contagious to a fool, folly is to the wise; therefore, the wise man should avoid the fool.
Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge (14:7).
In addition, the fool is dangerous and harmful, and we should avoid him like a bear robbed of her cubs (17:12).
2. THE FOOL SHOULD BE DRIVEN OUT. In those cases where we cannot leave the fool, the fool may need to be sent away.
Drive out the scoffer, and contention will go out, Even strife and dishonor will cease (22:10).
The New Testament teaches that Christians should not fellowship with professing Christians who are living in sin (I Cor. 5:9-13). The church is instructed to put out those who disregard biblical rebuke and correction (Matt. 18:15-17; I Cor. 5:5). The words of Paul to Titus seem closely related to the teaching of Proverbs that we should avoid the fool:
Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned (Titus 3:10-11).
3. WE SHOULD NOT WASTE OUR INSTRUCTION ON FOOLS. In the New Testament Jesus taught that we should not “cast our pearls before swine” (Matt. 7:6). In Proverbs, we are told not to attempt to teach fools:
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words (23:9).
4. WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW THE FOOL TO DRAG US DOWN TO HIS LEVEL. The fool is exasperating; he is looking for trouble, and he often tempts us to oblige him. Since the fool will spout off and speak his mind, we are tempted to lose our temper with him as well. Proverbs instructs us not to allow him to get the best of us, lest we be lowered to his level.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you be like him (26:4).
5. WE SHOULD NOT DIGNIFY A FOOL BY GIVING HIM UNDUE HONOR, SO THAT HE WILL-BE FLATTERED AND PUFFED UP EVEN FURTHER. The fool is pompous and proud, and he will take any positive strokes as a compliment. We should avoid giving him any honor.
Like snow in summer and rain in harvest, So honor is not fitting for a fool (26:1).
Answer a fool as his folly deserves, Lest he be wise in his own eyes (26:5).
6. WE SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO CORRECT THE FOOL, FOR IN SO DOING WE WILL ONLY PUNISH OURSELVES. The fool is never open to rebuke or correction. Any effort to correct a fool by mere verbal rebuke is futile.
He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself. Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, Reprove a wise man, and he will love you (9:7-8).
When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest (29:9).
7. WE SHOULD NOT MAKE LIFE EASY FOR THE FOOL. While verbal rebuke is not effective with fools, we should not seek to cushion the painful effects of their folly. The “way of the transgressor is hard” (13:15) and so the folly of a fool will bring about many difficulties. These painful consequences of sin may be instrumental in bringing the fool to the end of his folly, but regardless, the painful blows of sin should not be softened.
In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will preserve them (14:3).
A fool’s lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul (18:6-7).
Luxury is not fitting for a fool; Much less for a slave to rule over princes (19:10).
The prodigal son did not come to his senses until he was allowed to suffer the consequences of his folly (Luke 15:11-14).We must not hinder fools from entering the pig pens of life, for it is there that they may come to recognize their folly.
8. FOOLS SHOULD BE SEVERELY DISCIPLINED. Fools do not learn from a lecture, but they cannot ignore physical pain. The only method of discipline for the fool is “the rod.”
A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools (26:3).
The fool may not learn even though he is severely disciplined, but others may learn a lesson by seeing the outcome of folly.
Strike a scoffer and the naive may become shrewd, But reprove one who has understanding and he will gain knowledge (19:25; cf. 21:11).
The preceding principles governing our treatment may incline us to draw the wrong conclusion. Are fools utterly hopeless? Should we not make any effort to turn them from their folly? What are the implications of Proverbs for evangelism? Since, in one sense, all unbelievers are fools because they have rejected the fear of the Lord, should we do nothing to win them to Christ? The answer to these questions is also found in Proverbs.
The point which Proverbs is stressing is that the fool cannot be reasoned from his folly, cannot be shamed from it, and likely cannot even be beaten from it (cf. 27:22).This should not, however, lead us to the conclusion that the fool is utterly hopeless and helpless. Everyone who does not know Christ is hopelessly lost apart from divine intervention. The reason why Proverbs teaches us not to try to reform a fool is that he must be transformed. The fool’s problem is one of the heart (3:5; 4:23).
Proverbs reminds us that if we would help deliver a fool from his folly he must be saved from his sin. Rather than working on the symptoms of folly, we must deal with the heart of the matter. Notice that in Proverbs wisdom offers herself to all men; and specifically the fool is urged to turn from his folly.
“How long, 0 naive ones, will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, And fools hate knowledge? Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you (1:22-24).
“Come, eat of my food, And drink of the wine I have mixed. Forsake your folly and live, And proceed in the way of understanding” (9:5-6).
The solution for the fool is to turn from his folly, from trusting in himself, to fearing God. If we would help the fool it is by proclaiming to him the way of salvation, not trying to inform him (by teaching) or reform him (by rebuke and correction). It is only the gospel which transforms men through the power of the shed blood of Jesus Christ.
There is much for the Christian to learn from the teaching of Proverbs on the fool. Let me suggest several topics on which you might profitably meditate.
First, while we would admit that foolishness (folly) is sin, let us also be aware of the fact that sin is foolishness. Whenever we choose to sin, we are choosing to play the part of the fool. When we sin, we conclude that we are wiser than God, and that we are better able to judge matters than He. Sin is the decision to reject the wisdom of God and venture out on our own. In the Garden of Eden, Satan deceived Eve into believing that God’s prohibition was unwise and unkind, and that disobedience would make her wise, even God-like (Gen. 3:5-6). Such is always the case with sin--we cannot choose to sin without rejecting the wisdom of God. Sin is folly.
Second, let us think of Satan as the prince of fools. As I think through the characteristics of a fool, I am reminded that no one is better described than Satan himself. He chose to rebel against God and to assert his will over God’s (Isa. 14:1215).He delights in sin, and he actively seeks to lead others in his evil way. He sets himself about the task of hindering others and bringing about their destruction (I Pet. 5:8).He is a deceiver (I Tim. 2:14; Rev. 20:3), a sinner (I John 3:8), a liar and a murderer (John 8:44).He accuses the saints before God and slanders them (Rev. 12:10).He is arrogant and proud (Ezek. 28:17; I Tim. 3:6). He is a troublemaker and a nuisance. Because of this, he should be avoided, but we should not attempt to rebuke him (Jude 8-9). Satan is the prince of fools, the essence of folly.
Third, everyone must decide to be a fool in the eyes of some. The one who is wise in his own eyes is a fool to God. The one who trusts in God and walks in the way of wisdom is a fool to Satan (cf. Job 1) and to those who are without Christ. The way of the cross is a foolish way to the unsaved (I Cor. 1:18-25).To become truly wise we must forsake our own human, finite, wisdom (Prov. 3:5-6) and trust in the wisdom of God. We must become foolish to become wise:
Let no one deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become foolish that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. For it is written, “He is THE ONE WHO CATCHES THE WISE IN THEIR CRAFTINESS”; and again, “THE LORD KNOWS THE REASONINGS OF THE WISE, THAT THEY ARE USELESS” (I Cor. 3:18-20).
Would you be wise in the eyes of God? Then you must acknowledge your sin, and trust in the death of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary for the forgiveness of your sins. He died in your place. He bore the penalty of your sins. By trusting in Christ’s death on your behalf, you not only enter the way of wisdom, you enter the way of everlasting life.
Fourth, it is possible for a Christian to play the fool. Unfortunately we may stray from the path of wisdom into the path of folly and sin. David did when he took another man’s life, and his wife (II Sam. 11). Solomon did when he married foreign wives (I Kings 11:1-4).
As I turned once again to the passages of the New Testament which speak of putting off our old man (e.g. Eph. 4:22-32; Col. 3:9-17) I noticed that the very things which we are told to put off are the characteristics and actions of the fool. Our old nature is predisposed toward practicing folly. Those of us who are Christians need to look for the fool in us, not just in others. The enemy, so to speak, is us. The foolishness of our old nature must be diligently disciplined. We must not pamper the flesh, but crucify it. Ultimately the only solution for foolishness is the cross.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any one wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up, his cross, and follow Me” (Matt. 16:24).
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires (Gal. 5:24).
“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me” (Gal. 2:20).
Let us seek, by the grace of God, to put to death the works of the flesh, to be wise, and to forsake folly. And let us seek the salvation of those who are fools, by proclaiming the foolishness of the cross.
24 Not only does actual murder place men under the punishment of death. The heart that has become inflamed with the destructive mental attitude, from which springs the damning word, merits the same judgment. With tremendous sharpness Jesus’ word makes it clear that God’s judgment on sin is radical and far-reaching. It does not merely cover the accomplished deed; it exposes the motive behind it . . . . Accordingly in this three-stage development, Jesus sets the sins of thought and tongue (which include the damning of a man) on the same level as physical murder which can be atoned for only by death.” T. Sorg, “Rhaka,” The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1975, I), p. 418. I find it noteworthy to observe that this article on the Greek word Rhaka is included under the title, “Curse, Insult, Fool.” In effect, to call on a fool is to curse him, expressing the wish for his destruction or damnation. No wonder our Lord taught that calling one a fool was as serious as murder. It should also be observed that our Lord Himself used the Greek word Moros, rendered “fool” in Matthew 22:5, in reference to the scribes and Pharisees, as well as the five foolish virgins (Matt. 23:17; 25:2,3,8).
25 The NASB renders three Hebrew words “fool:” Kesil (1:22,32;3:35;8:5; 10:1,18,23; 12:23; 13:10,16,19,20; 14:7,8,16,24,33; 15:2,7,14,20; 17:10,12,16,21,24, 25; 18:2,6,7; 19:1,10,13,29; 21:20; 23:9; 26:1,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12; 28:26; 29:11, 20), Ewil (1:7; 7:22; 10:8,10,41,21; 11:29; 12:15,16; 14:3,9; 15:5; 16:22; 17:28; 18:13; 20:3; 24:7,9; 27:3,22; 29:9), and Nabal (17:7,21; 30:22). In addition there is the “simple,” whom we have already studied, and the “scoffer” (Hebrew: Luts, 1:22; 3:34; 9:7,8; 13:1; 14:6; 15:12; 19:25,29; 21:11,24; 22:10; 24:9; 29:8). In this message I have decided to focus on the two primary categories of fool (Kesil, Ewil), as well as the scoffer (Luts). The Nabal occurs seldom and will not be included here. Instead of dwelling on the distinctions between these three categories I will focus on their common characteristics.
When I taught school years ago I had a student who thought it was too much work to stand up straight. As often as he could he would lean against the wall as he walked. His method of getting around was really rather humorous to watch something like riding a scooter--push . . . glide, push . . . glide. Glen had it down to a science. Normally his system worked pretty well, aside from wearing the paint off the walls and destroying his shirts.
One day, however, our class went on a field trip to observe a large city newspaper being published. I had warned all of my students about being careful and quiet, and that they were not to touch anything. Everything went well at first. Glen saw no need to change his style of transporting himself, however, so he glided through the building, supported in part, by the walls. He made one serious mistake, however, when he failed to look where he was going. A doorway caught him unawares and before any of us could prevent it, the lad fell headlong into a closet, crashing noisily. After much thrashing about, Glen freed himself and emerged, somewhat sheepishly, from the closet. For the rest of that day he found the more conventional means of transporting himself preferable.
There is something amusing about the sluggard, even in the Book of Proverbs. Here we find him described, tongue-in-cheek, attached to his bed like a door swinging on its hinges (26:14). We smile at the thought of the sluggard putting his hand in the dish, but just not being able to bring it up to his mouth (26:15). We cannot help but be amused at his excuse for not going to work: “There’s a lion in the road” (26:13).
We should not be mislead by the humor with which the sluggard is described, however. The Book of Proverbs uses humor for at least two reasons. First, the apt way in which the truth is humorously portrayed makes it difficult for us to forget. The teaching of Proverbs on the sluggard has, as it were, “mental hooks” which deeply imbed the truth in our mind. Second, humor is often employed to disarm the reader, setting him up for the full force of the indictment which lies just below the surface. While we are still laughing, we begin to realize that the point of the story is aimed in our direction. By laughing, we have already admitted its truth in principle--at least as far as others are concerned. But now we are faced with the uncomfortable necessity of facing the truth ourselves.
With this in mind, let us turn our attention to the sluggard as he is portrayed in Proverbs. Let us do so, knowing that there are valuable lessons for us to learn, not just about others, but about ourselves as well.
The condition of the sluggard can be diagnosed by noting the presence of several tell-tale symptoms. Let’s look at each of these as Proverbs describes them.
1. THE SLUGGARD IS A PROCRASTINATOR. The motto of the sluggard is, “Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.” Sluggards have developed the ability to put off starting a task as well as completing those tasks already begun.
The sluggard cannot possibly get to work because there is a dangerous lion in the road (22:13). He fully intends to get to work, but after just a little more sleep (6:9-10). While the time for the harvest has come, the sluggard is not quite ready to get to the fields (10:5). The sluggard is always just about ready to start a job, but not quite.
Those tasks which the sluggard has already started never seem to get finished. The projects which he begins always seem to be more time-consuming and demanding than he first thought. The sluggard does not hesitate to rectify his rash decision to begin a task by later setting it aside. A number of examples of this failure to finish tasks can be found in Proverbs.
A slothful man does not roast his prey, But the precious possession of a man is diligence (12:27).
The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; He is weary of bringing it to his mouth again (26:15).
The sluggard does not plow after the autumn, And begs during the harvest and has nothing (20:4).
While there are several interpretations of Proverbs 12:27, my present understanding is that the sluggard has gone to the effort of catching his prey, but then does not go on to roast it, thus wasting his efforts and losing the benefit of his labor. The sluggard begins by putting his hand in the dish,26 but is unwilling to expend the energy to pull it out again, and therefore fails to enjoy the benefits of his initial labor (26:15). Having reaped the harvest, the sluggard is too tired (or perhaps too cold) to prepare the field for next year’s crop (20:4).
I have never been much of an athlete, but I believe it is true that follow through is one of the most important aspects of athletics. In baseball, golf, or tennis the athlete must follow through with his swing. The sluggard has no follow through at all, thereby nullifying the good of his efforts, even though these may have been too little and too late.
2. THE SLUGGARD IS A RATIONALIZER. Don’t ever kid yourself about the sluggard. His mind is working faster than his body. When it comes to shirking his responsibilities, no one has a quicker mind than the sluggard. There is always a “reason” for his apathy and inaction. When the sluggard decides not to work, he will have what, to him, is a plausible explanation for his decision. The classic excuse is that found twice in Proverbs:
The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside; I shall be slain in the streets!” (22:13; cf. 26:13).
To the best of my knowledge, lions could be found in Israel in those days (cf. Judg. 14:8; I Sam. 17:34; I Kings. 13:24; 20:36; Prov. 28:15). While the likelihood of meeting a lion may have been remote, it was the danger of doing so that the sluggard chose to emphasize. In his mind, it only made sense to stay at home, where it would be safe. While we may laugh at such a ridiculous excuse, many of the “reasons” given by those who “call in sick” to their employers are hardly more convincing, at least to those other than the one who chose to stay home. The point is that the sluggard fabricates a crisis which prohibits him from doing what he didn’t want to do anyway. His reasons, while unsatisfactory to others, are compelling to him.
Rather than to decide not to go to work, however, the sluggard would prefer not to make any decision at all, other than to postpone any action on his part. Frequently the sluggard is not honest enough to admit that he is not going to work, or that he will not plant a crop. The sluggard prefers to put off the unpleasantness of work by delaying his decision of whether or not he should work. If the sluggard can rationalize not working because of “a lion,” he can put off a decision because something insignificant (“a little . . . ”) is not that urgent a matter anyway.
“A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest” (6:10; cf. 24:33).
My wife, Jeannette, is the first one up in the morning at our house. When she wakes me up, I will often tell her to come back in five minutes, or ask her to put on the coffee, which will give me a brief reprieve. The sluggard consoles himself in putting off the inevitable by assuring himself that it is just a little more rest. After all, what harm can a few additional moments of rest be? In his mind the sluggard is mapping out his day or gathering up his strength.27 In the Song of Solomon we are told that it is the “little foxes which spoil the vineyards” (2:15). The sluggard seldom makes a conscious decision to neglect his duty, but frequently delays it.
3. THE SLUGGARD TAKES THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. If the sluggard is anything, he is lazy. His one and only “tool” is his bed (6:10; 10:5; 19:15; 20:33; 26:24). He lacks the diligence of those who are wise.
Like vinegar to the teeth. and smoke to the eyes, So is the lazy one to those who send him (10:26).
He who is slack in his work Is brother to him who destroys (18:9).
Laziness casts into a deep sleep, And an idle man will suffer hunger (19:15).
Because of his laziness the sluggard will choose that course of action which appears to involve the least amount of sacrifice on his part, and give the greatest amount of immediate pleasure.
Do not love sleep, lest you become poor; Open your eyes, and you will be satisfied with food (20:13).
The desire of the sluggard [for ease] puts him to death, For his hands refuse to work; All day long he is craving While the righteous gives and does not hold back (21:25-26).
When work cannot be avoided, the sluggard is open to schemes which will make money the easiest way.
He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, But he who pursues vain things lacks sense. The wicked desires the booty of evil men, But the root of the righteous yields fruit (12:11-12).
He who tills his land will have plenty of food, But he who follows empty pursuits will have poverty in plenty. A man with an evil eye hastens after wealth, And does not know that want will come upon him (28:19,22).
4. THE SLUGGARD IS FOOLISH. I am not willing to equate the sluggard and the fool, but it does seem apparent that the sluggard is foolish. While all fools may not necessarily be sluggards, all sluggards are foolish.
The way of the sluggard is as a hedge of thorns, But the path of the upright is a highway (15:19).
Since the sluggard is contrasted with the upright, it would seem to be accurate to say that the sluggard is evil, while the upright are diligent. The diligence of the wise is contrasted with the sloth of the sluggard (10:26). Sluggards lack sense (24:30) and are only wise in their own vain estimation (26:16). In other words, the sluggard is a fool. He, like all fools, is heading for sudden (but, as yet, unforeseen) destruction (6:11; 20:34).
5. THE SLUGGARD REQUIRES CONSTANT SUPERVISION AND PRODDING. Apart from pressure and prodding, the sluggard will not carry out his responsibilities. Something dramatic is required to overcome the immense inertia of the sluggard, whether it is the hunger pangs of his own stomach (13:25; 16:26) or the whip of a taskmaster (12:24).In chapter 6 the sluggard is urged to learn from the ant, which goes about its task faithfully, yet without any supervision (vv. 6-8).
The consequences which the sluggard must face can be summarized by two words: problems and pressure. A closer look at Proverbs will explain why the sluggard must experience these two unpleasant consequences.
According to the wisdom of Proverbs, “He who will not work will not eat.”
Laziness casts into a deep sleep, And an idle man will suffer hunger (19:15).
Often, the result of laziness is spoken of more generally as “poverty.”
“A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest”--And your poverty will come in like a vagabond, And your need like an armed man (6:10-11; cf. 10:4; 20:13).
The sluggard has more problems than just hunger and poverty, however. His life is plagued with problems:
The way of the sluggard is as a hedge of thorns, But the path of the upright is a highway (15:19).
As we are told elsewhere in this book of wisdom, “the way of the transgressor is hard” (13:15).
A further result of laziness is pressure. The sluggard will avoid work if at all possible. While the diligent will prosper and be promoted, the sluggard will function only when in the most structured environment.
The hand of the diligent will rule, But the slack hand will be put to forced labor (12:24).
When I was a college student, I worked for the postal department during the Christmas vacation. Usually I drove a delivery truck, but when I was in the Post Office building, I noticed one-way glass windows everywhere, even in the rest rooms. The implication was obvious: “Somebody may be watching you at any time.” Sluggards will find themselves under pressure because that is the only way they produce.
Several factors converge in a person’s life which are the roots of his lack of character. We shall take a brief look at the sources of the sluggard’s problem, according to the Book of Proverbs.
1. THE SLUGGARD IS SELF-SEEKING. The sluggard is always looking out for number one--himself. He has no consideration for anyone else.
The desire of the sluggard puts him to death, For his hands refuse to work; All day long he is craving, While the righteous gives and does not hold back (21:25-26).
Those who are righteous have a concern for the needs of others. They are marked by their generosity in reaching out to meet these needs, just as the last line of verse 26 indicates (cf. also 22:9; 29:7; 31:20). The sluggard is characterized by a concern for his own ease. He who will not make any sacrifices for his own good, surely cannot be expected to sacrifice for others.
2. THE SLUGGARD IS A PLEASURE-SEEKER. We have just seen from Proverbs 21:25-26 that, the sluggard is destroyed by his desires. He is also dominated by these desires.28
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, But the soul of the diligent is made fat (13:4).
He who loves pleasure will become a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not become rich (21:17).
The sluggard’s desire is for a life of ease, filled with the luxuries and delicacies of the rich. Controlled as he is by his bodily appetites, the sluggard will consume all he has as quickly as possible. His inability to deny himself of immediate gratification leads to his poverty.
3. THE SLUGGARD IS SHORT-SIGHTED. The sluggard thinks only of the present. He constantly talks about tomorrow, for that is when he plans to go to work; but he never thinks ahead. He fails to plan for the future, and he never prepares for it.
Go to the ant, 0 sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise, Which, having no chief, Officer or ruler, Prepares her food in the summer, And gathers her provision in the harvest (6:6-8).
He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, But he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully (10:5).
The sluggard is indifferent to the demands of the future. During the time of harvest there is more than enough food at hand, but the cold winter lies ahead. Without diligently laboring to harvest and put food away for the winter, the sluggard will suffer hunger. He just doesn’t have any sense of urgency about the future.
4. THE SLUGGARD LACKS SELF-DISCIPLINE. If there is one thing the sluggard lacks it is self-control. If there is any food in the house, he eats it, with no thought for the consequences. If he has the choice of work or play, he will always choose to play. Whatever is easy and enjoyable will always be his choice.
The wise man knows that short-term sacrifices are required for future benefits. The wise child decides to do without candy bars and ice cream cones in order to save for a bike. The disciplined athlete knows that he must not eat too much of certain foods and must not stay up too late if he wishes to win the contest. The sluggard is not willing to make any sacrifices or to do without any pleasure that is within his reach.
The sluggard may be amusing, but not for long. He is a burden on others, a taker and not a giver. He is a liability to society. Proverbs points the way which the sluggard must take to become a contributor to society, rather than merely a consumer.
1. THE SLUGGARD’S ATTENTION CAN BE GAINED BY PAIN, PRESSURE, AND PROBLEMS. We have already seen that problems and pressures are consequences of the sluggard’s lifestyle, but they can also play a part in his cure. Remember, it is the nature of the sluggard to avoid anything that is painful and unpleasant. Because of this, the hunger and poverty which result from lazy living are taken seriously by the sluggard.
The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, But the stomach of the wicked is in want (13:25).
A worker’s appetite works for him, For his hunger urges him on (16:26).
It is important for us to distinguish the nature of a person’s poverty and need. For some, poverty is beyond their control. For those whose need is not the result of sin, we must reach out to help. But the sluggard should not be fed, for this will only reinforce his sinful pattern of living at the expense of others. What Proverbs implies, Scripture teaches clearly elsewhere:
For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone will not work, neither let him eat (II Thes. 3:10).
The so-called “prodigal son” of Luke 15 came to his senses only after he had squandered all his assets and ended up in the pig pen. In our sincere desire to help those who are hurting, let us be reminded that we must help the sluggard by letting him wallow in the consequences of his sin long enough to see the folly of his way and to forsake it for the way of wisdom. Let us also beware of the false conclusion that all those who are poor and in need are sluggards.
The sluggard must learn that the “path of least resistance” is not the path of pleasure and prosperity. According to the Book of Proverbs it is as a hedge of thorns (15:19). Let us not labor to make the path of sinners easy, but to do what we can to turn men and woman to the path of wisdom. The pains of the path of folly are but a small token of the destruction and suffering which lie ahead for all who would choose this way.
2. THE SLUGGARD MUST CHANGE HIS PERSPECTIVE AND HIS PRIORITIES. Our Lord summarized the law of the Old Testament with only two commands.
And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. And a second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. ‘On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40).
The sluggard’s problem is that he has chosen to disregard both of these commands. He does not love or fear God. By every indication the sluggard is evil. He is contrasted with the righteous (15:19; 21:25-26), and assumed to be wicked (13:25). If the sluggard disregards God, neither does he have any love for his fellow man. He seeks only to avoid pain and pursue personal pleasure. Proverbs implies what other Scriptures teach, namely that we must place God first in our lives, and seek to serve others rather than to satisfy our own selfish desires.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil. 2:3-8).
In short, the sluggard must first come to salvation through faith in the person and work of Jesus Christ, who died for his sins and who offers new life--not an easy life, but a full life, marked by serving God and man.
Few passages better describe the change the Gospel makes in a man’s life than that in Ephesians chapter 4:
Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have something to share with him who has need (Eph. 4:28).
The gospel of Jesus Christ transforms lost men from parasites to producers, from those who take from others, to those who give sacrificially to meet the needs of the helpless. The Gospel turns a man’s attention from himself to others. The way to cure the sluggard is to make a saint of him.
The sluggard must cease living only for the present, and live in the light of eternity. The sluggard lives as though there will be no tomorrow, and therefore he must seek all the pleasure he can while it can be experienced. The Christian lives in the light of God’s promises of a life of blessing for all who will trust in Him and deny themselves those pleasures which are detrimental to spiritual growth and service. This is the message of the eleventh chapter of Hebrews:
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter; choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God, than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin; considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward (Heb. 11:24-26).
The sluggard must have his entire value system reversed. The greatest goal in life is not to be happy, but to be holy (Christ-like). The Christian should strive to be truly pious, not merely prosperous (30:7-9). This means that all Christians must be willing to endure suffering and tribulation in this life (II Tim. 3:12; I Pet. 1:3-7; James 1:2-4). Even those liberties which we possess may need to be set aside for the higher good of serving God or benefiting others (I Cor. 8ff).
As I understand the Bible, the role of biblical prophecy is to constantly remind Christians that God’s purposes are certain, and that we should live godly lives in the present, knowing that this life, and indeed, this world, are passing away.
Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, on accounts of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells (II Pet. 3:11-13).
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we shall be. We know that, when He appears, we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him just as He is. And every one who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure (I John 3:2-3).
3. THE SLUGGARD MUST GO TO WORK. The bottom line for the sluggard is that he must stop loafing and get to work. Whether he is forced by pain and pressure or (far better) by a new outlook on life, he must overcome his lethargy and do what needs to be done.
He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, But be who pursues vain things lacks sense (12:11).
In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty (14:23).
He who tills the land will have plenty of food, But he who follows empty pursuits will have poverty in plenty (28:19).
When the choice must be made as to which work is to be done first, Proverbs informs us that it should be that which best prepares us for the difficulties ahead. It is not our comfort, but our most urgent needs which should have priority.
Prepare your work outside, And make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house (24:27).
The implications of the teaching of Proverbs on the sluggard are profound for each of us. I would hope that all of us would be able to admit that we have too much of the sluggard in us when it comes to those tasks which we find unpleasant. Whether it be on the job or in the home, we must learn to do what is more important before we do what is most enjoyable.
But beyond this very obvious level of application is one that is even more urgent. Nowhere are the symptoms of the sluggard more evident in my life than in the area of my spiritual duties and obligations. While there are other factors to consider, the primary reason for my failure to pray, to study my Bible as I should, to worship, and to witness to my faith in Christ is that I am a spiritual sluggard.
While I admit that these things are important, even essential, I just never seem to get around to doing them as much or as well as I should.
Let’s face it, there is nothing easy about our spiritual life. We are called to be disciples of our Lord. As such we must endure hardship and persecution. As one gospel song has put it, “It’s not an easy road . . . ” It is the sluggard in me that causes me to ease up, to take the easy path, and to assure myself that there’s always another day. Moment by moment, day by day, a tiny piece at a time, the spiritual battle is lost, largely by default.
I am beginning to understand why the sluggard plays so significant a part in the Book of Proverbs. Repeatedly in the first nine chapters not only the value of wisdom is emphasized, but also the price at which it must be obtained:
My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you, Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God (2:1-5; of. 3:1-18; 4:1-9).
The Corinthian church of the New Testament was carnal (cf. I Cor. 3:1-3). When Paul finally got to the bottom of their difficulties, one of the principle problems was that these saints lacked the self-discipline and diligence to deny themselves those pleasures which were detrimental to their testimony, their own spiritual growth, or the well-being of a fellow Christian. In the last verses of I Corinthians 9 and the first half of chapter 10 Paul focuses on the need for discipline in the Christian life. In effect, Paul was telling the Corinthians that they were spiritual sluggards.
As I read the New Testament I find that the character flaws of the sluggard in Proverbs are dealt with repeatedly. For example, in Matthew 24 our Lord spoke of the time of the Great Tribulation and the last days. Repeatedly he urged His disciples to watch and be alert so that they would not be caught off guard at his return, devoting themselves to matters of less importance than the kingdom of God (cf. vv. 42-43,50). In Matthew 25 the Lord continues to warn the saints about the dangers of spiritual sluggardliness. In the parable of the talents (vv. 14-30) it was the servant who had but one talent (“a little,” cf. Prov. 6:10) who failed to make use of it for his master. The servant had an excuse (his “lion in the road”); he said that he knew his master was harsh and he was afraid. But the Master would not accept his excuses. Instead, he replied, “You wicked, lazy slave (25:26). Regardless of his excuses, the slave was a sluggard.
If our Lord had little pity on the sluggard, neither did His apostles. Paul instructed the Thessalonian church not to feed a man who refused to work (II Thes. 3:10). Diligence and self-discipline were required of all saints. Note, for example, Paul’s exhortation.
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation (Romans 12:9-16).
In urging Christians to wake up in the light of the nearness of the Lord’s return, Paul uses a figure of speech similar to that used with reference to the sluggard:
And this do, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed (Rom. 13:11).
But you, brethren, are not in darkness, that the day should overtake you like a thief; for you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness; so then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober (I Thes. 5:4-6).
The characteristics of the sluggard are described in the New Testament as the characteristics of the old nature of the Christian which must be put off:
And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, “AWAKE, SLEEPER, AND ARISE FROM THE DEAD, AND CHRIST WILL SHINE ON YOU.” Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:11-16).
Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is on account of these things that the wrath of God will come, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them. But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him (Col. 3:5-10).
The New Testament urges the Christian to put aside the attitudes and actions of the old man and to put on Jesus Christ. Former desires are to be put off and we are to live in accordance with the law of love. Christians are to be motivated by the realization that the time is short, the return of our Lord is near, and our opportunities are to be grasped now (cf. Col. 4:5-6).
Whenever I preach I realize that there will be some who will attempt to twist my words into an excuse for their sinful actions. As I was preparing this message I asked myself who would walk away feeling proud of their sinful conduct. One particular type of person came to my mind--the workaholic. How proud the workaholic might feel. After all, he is no sluggard. He is just the opposite.
I would like to make a suggestion with staggering implications. I believe that the workaholic is a sluggard. Now let us be sure we all agree on what we mean by the term “workaholic.” The term “workaholic” does not refer to the man or woman who is diligent at his or her task. We are to be diligent in what we do (Rom. 12:11), working heartily in our occupations, as unto the Lord (Col. 3:23). The workaholic is the person who is so consumed by his work that he avoids other, more important, obligations.
In our society there are those who are just plain lazy and refuse to work. But while there may be just a handful of these in our churches, there are scores of others who have chosen to be spiritual sluggards in a socially acceptable way--by becoming workaholics. The workaholic fails to assume his responsibilities as a husband (or wife), parent, or member of the body of Christ because he is too heavily involved in his work. To the workaholic work is his “lion in the road.” It is easier for the workaholic to devote himself to his duties as an employer or employee than to his other spiritual obligations. When pressed by others, his mate, or his conscience, he excuses himself with a certain crisis, a report that is due, a deadline that is at hand, a difficult time for the business. There are, of course, emergencies that demand more time from us at work, but for the sluggard these never end. He lives from one “crisis” to the next. Eventually, we must recognize that we are spending too much time and energy at work because we want to, because it is easier than struggling with our responsibilities at home or in the church.
The workaholic, then, has found his work provides him with an excuse for procrastinating with regard to those obligations which are difficult or unpleasant. He can even rationalize his sin by insisting that he would “hurt his testimony” if he did not do a good job at work. The spiritual sluggard may be starving himself and his family of biblical truths, and he may be responsible for his own downfall and that of others. Those who are in some kind of professional Christian ministry are even more susceptible to the dangers of the workaholic because they are convinced that they are doing “the Lord’s work.” While ministering to the spiritual needs of others, we may be negligent in our study and devotion, as well as in leading our families. I know this is true in my life. Let us be honest with ourselves. If the things we are working hardest at are keeping us from obeying the commands of our Lord, we may well be both workaholics and sluggards.
Finally, it may be possible that you are negligent in your spiritual responsibilities for another reason. While it is possible for a Christian to neglect his responsibilities because of apathy and laziness, it is also necessary to say that some have no interest in spiritual things because they have no spiritual life. Such individuals are not lazy; they are lifeless, spiritually dead. It may be that you are not living in obedience to the commands of Scriptures because you have never come to have eternal life through faith in the person of Christ. When asked by His countrymen what work they should do, Jesus replied, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him who He has sent” (John 6:29). If you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus Christ, who died in your place, suffering the penalty for your sins, I urge you to do this now.
26 Orientals dispensed with spoons and forks, dipping their hand into the dish to take their portion. The older commentators translated, ‘bosom, slit in a garment,’ like our expression ‘buries his hands in his pockets’; but this is less likely.” A. Cohen, Proverbs (London: The Soncino Press, 1967), P. 129.
27 Kidner says of the self-deceived sluggard as he is described in 36:13-16, he has no idea that he is lazy: he is not a shirker but a ‘realist’ (13); not self-indulgent but ‘below his best in the morning’ (14); his inertia is ‘an objection to being hustled’ (15); his mental indolence a fine ‘sticking to his guns’ (16). Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), p. 163.
28 Titling these two verses, “The Tyranny of Desire,” Kidner says, “The sluggard lives in a world of wishing, which is his substitute for working. It can ruin him materially (25) and imprison him spiritually (26), for he can neither command himself nor escape himself.” Ibid., p. 145.
There are two major errors made by many of us who attempt to interpret the Old Testament. The first is that we are inclined to see too much. By this I mean that many merely teach the New Testament from the Old. Virtually every New Testament truth is found, often in type, in the Old. Often this does great violence to the text. The other error is that we fail to see enough in the Old Testament passages we study and teach. While I am a dispensationalist, I find a tendency among some who are of my persuasion to see the Old Testament as only a book for those of another age believe that the Old Testament saints knew more than we have given them credit for. For example, Jesus was able to say, “Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day; and he saw it, and was glad” (John 8:56).
Few Christians would expect to the find the Gospel presented in the Book of Proverbs; but I believe that the Gospel is there, in much the same way as it is contained in other Old Testament books. What the Old Testament teaches in more general terms, the New teaches more specifically. I am convinced that the essential facts of the Gospel are clearly stated in Proverbs.
I have a particular interest in searching the Book of Proverbs concerning its teaching regarding God and man. Proverbs, in my opinion, contains a detailed description of God, and for good reason. After all, Proverbs is devoted to the development of godly character. If a man would be godly, he must first know what God is like. For this reason alone, we should expect Proverbs to contain a description of the character of God.
There is yet another reason why Proverbs has much to contribute to our understanding of the character of God. Proverbs is an intensely practical book. It does not deal with ethereal, philosophical truth, but with practical truth, truth which can be converted into godly attitudes and actions. When Proverbs informs us about God, it reveals those divine characteristics which should shape our lives. Let us look at the Book of Proverbs, then, to learn more of God and more about man’s relationship to Him.
God’s character is best revealed in Proverbs by the description of what He delights in and what He hates.
1. GOD LOVES THE RIGHTEOUS, BUT HE HATES THE WICKED.
For the crooked man is an abomination to the Lord; But He is intimate with the upright. The curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the dwelling of the righteous (3:32-33).
The way of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, But He loves him who pursues righteousness (15:9).
2. GOD LOVES THE GOOD MAN, BUT HE HATES THE EVIL PLANNER AND HIS PLAN.
A good man will obtain favor from the Lord, But He will condemn a man who devises evil (12:2; cf. 6:18).
Evil plans are an abomination to the Lord, But pleasant words are pure (15:26).
3. GOD LOVES HONESTY IN BUSINESS, BUT HE DESPISES DISHONESTY.
A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, But a just weight is His delight (11:1; cf. 20:10,23).
4. GOD LOVES THOSE WHO HAVE INTEGRITY, BUT HE HATES THE PERVERSE IN HEART.
The perverse in heart are an abomination to the Lord, But the blameless in their walk are His delight (11:20; cf. 3:32).
5. GOD LOVES THOSE WHO ARE TRUTHFUL, BUT HE HATES LIARS AND THEIR FALSEHOOD.
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight (12:22; cf. 6:17,19).
6. GOD LOVES THE PRAYERS OF THE UPRIGHT, BUT HE HATES THE RELIGIOUS RITUAL OF THE WICKED.
The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, But the prayer of the upright is His delight (15:8; cf. 21:27).
I find a number of striking similarities of thought between these descriptions of what God delights in and what He despises and the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7. Since I understand our Lord’s words there to be His interpretation of the Old Testament Law, as opposed to that of the Jewish religious leaders of His day, it is really little wonder that He would simply reiterate the teaching of Proverbs.
There are at least two very practical applications of what we have just observed in Proverbs concerning what God loves and what He hates. The first (and one we shall deal with in greater detail later) is that we can gain insight into the subject of divine guidance or the will of God. God’s will, in general terms, is that we do what he delights in and avoid what He despises. The second is that we learn much about a person’s character by knowing what he loves and what he hates. From the observations we have made above, it should be obvious that God is righteous, good, holy, truthful and just. He loves righteousness and He hates evil.
We have already learned from Proverbs that God is good; Proverbs also describes a God who is great. He is great in what He knows, and He is great in power.
Theologians speak of God as being omniscient, which simply means that He knows everything. Proverbs specifies some of the areas included in God’s omniscience.
1. GOD KNOWS THE DEEDS OF MEN, BOTH GOOD AND EVIL.
For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths (5:21).
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Watching the evil and the good (15:3).
2. GOD KNOWS THE HEARTS OF MEN AND SEARCHES OUT THEIR MOTIVES.
Sheol and Abaddon lie open before the Lord, How much more the hearts of men! (15:11).
All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the Lord weighs the motives (16:2; cf. also 17:3; 21:2).
God is also omnipotent. He is all-powerful. Nothing is beyond His control. God is able to accomplish what He determines to do. No one is able to thwart His will. Kings, the most powerful figures in the ancient world, were subject to His will.
The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes (21:1).
Even the wicked, those who choose to rebel against God, will achieve God’s ultimate purposes.
The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, Even the wicked for the day of evil (16:4).
By His will, battles are won, and even those things which appear to be matters of chance are under His control.
The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But victory belongs to the Lord (21:31).
The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is-from the Lord (16:33).
God’s sovereignty extends even to a man’s speech and to his steps.
The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord (16:1).
The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps (16:9).
God is in charge of His creation, and He will not ever lose control of it. While man must choose to forsake his folly and follow the path of wisdom, no earthly or heavenly creature has the power to resist the will of God.
There is no wisdom and no understanding And no counsel against the Lord (21:30).
God’s infinite goodness and greatness put Him far beyond the reach of man. Man would never come to know or understand God unless God first sought out men, to reveal Himself to them and to initiate a relationship with them.
Surely I am more stupid than any man, And I do not have the understanding of a man. And I have not learned wisdom, But I have knowledge of the Holy One. Who has ascended into heaven and descended? Who has gathered the wind in His fists? Who has wrapped the waters in His garment? Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is His name or His son’s name? Surely you know! (30:2-4).
Indeed, man cannot even understand himself, apart from coming to know God.
Man’s steps are ordained by the Lord, How then can man understand his way? (20:24).
God has chosen to be intimately involved in the affairs of men. He is not distant and aloof. As theologians would say, God is imminent God’s concern with His creation extends even to the use of honest weights.
A just balance and scales belong to the Lord; All the weights of the bag are His concern (16:11).
He is aware of the needs of the righteous and responsive to them.
The Lord will not allow the righteous to hunger, But He will thrust aside the craving of the wicked (10:3).
He will not allow evil and injustice to go unpunished, nor kindness to go unrewarded.
He who mocks the poor reproaches his Maker; He who rejoices at calamity will not go unpunished (17:5).
He who is gracious to the poor man lends to the Lord, And He will repay him for his good deed (19:17).
One of the practical outworkings of the character of God is that He is the Judge of the earth, and of mankind in particular. One thing of which we may be certain is that there is a day of reckoning coming, when God will judge men and reward them according to their deeds.
Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, But righteousness delivers from death (11:4).
If you say, “See, we did not know this,” Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work? (24:12)
Frequently in Proverbs we find the expression, “he will not go unpunished,” an indication that the writer(s) looked for a day of judgment in which God would surely judge men according to their deeds (cf. 11:21; 17:5; 19:5; 28:20).
While we are told that even the wicked fulfill a divine purpose (16:4), the judgment that evil men receive is precisely what they deserve. They are simply “reaping what they have sown’ (cf. Gal. 6:7).
He who is steadfast in righteousness will attain to life, And he who pursues evil will bring about his own death (11:19).
A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, And the deeds of a man’s hands will return to him (12:14).
He who leads the upright astray in an evil way Will himself fall into his own pit, But the blameless will inherit good (28:10; cf. 14:14,32).
This is the biblical doctrine of retribution--getting what you deserve. Notice, however, something which I think is significant. While the wicked are clearly said to get what they have earned, the blessing of the righteous is worded differently. While the evil doer brings about his own death, the righteous is not said to earn life, but to attain to it (11:19). The Old Testament saint may not have understood this quite as clearly as we should, but I believe he knew that life was a gift, not a wage. Those who are righteous do attain to life, but by God’s grace; they do not attain it be their own merit.
Proverbs represents God as a seeker of men. While sinners will ultimately stand before God as their Judge, it is His desire to have an intimate relationship with those who love Him.
For the crooked man is an abomination to the Lord: But He is intimate with the upright (3:32).
Literally the text says here, “His intimate counsel” (margin, NASB), is with the upright. Because God desires fellowship with men, He is personified as Dame Wisdom, who invites men to dine with her:
“Come, eat of my food, And drink of the wine I have mixed. Forsake your folly and live, And proceed in the way of understanding” (9:5-6).
There is a certain similarity in this invitation to the intimacy which our Lord seeks with His children in Revelation 3:20.
God has made it possible for men to know Him because He has revealed Himself to them. His handiwork can be seen in creation (3:19-20; 8:22-31). He can be known through the teaching of those who are wise (2:1-11). But most of all, He has revealed Himself through His Holy Word.
Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His words Lest He reprove you, and you be proved a liar (30:5-6).
According to Proverbs, man is in a serious dilemma, the result of two factors. First, every man is confronted with a decision. It will be made decisively or by default, but it will be made. The decision is whether to fear God or to resist Him, to pursue wisdom or to follow the path of folly.
The wise father, urges his son to make the right choice: My son, do not forsake my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments; For length of days and years of life, And peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil (3:1-7).
Dame Wisdom also urges men to choose to follow her:
“How long, 0 naive ones, will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, And fools hate knowledge? Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you (1:22-23).
The decision each man must make is between two ways, and the result is one of two destinies. The way of wisdom is the way of life, pleasantness, and peace (3:1618), the way of security, without fear of punishment for evil (1:33; 3:25-26). Those who were righteous were promised that they would “dwell in the land” (2:21).
Evil men, who have chosen the path of folly, look forward to what they dread. They will reap what they have sown (1:31).They will suffer death (2:18) and “be cut off from the land” (2:21).They can expect only the wrath and condemnation of God (3:32; 12:2).
Man’s dilemma is intensified by a second factor. While he has a decision to make, either to fear God or trust in himself, he is predisposed toward folly, toward the way of evil. Even in childhood we are inclined to go our own way.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him (22:15).
The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way [literally, left to himself] brings shame to his mother (29:15).
As we grow older, we tend to deceive ourselves, thinking that the way we have chosen is right, when it is not.
There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death (14:12; also 16:25).
The way of the fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel (12:15).
All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the Lord weighs the motives (16:2).
Evil men are unable to discern truth and wisdom, and consequently turn to those who espouse folly.
He who has a crooked mind finds no good, And he who is perverted in his language falls into evil (17:20).
An evildoer listens to wicked lips, A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue (17:4).
Man’s dilemma, then, is this: he is naturally inclined toward sin, and not toward God (theologians call this depravity), and his waywardness inclines him to reject the very words which proclaim to him the way of deliverance. Instead, the evil man listens to those who will tell him what he wants to hear--folly. The root of man’s dilemma is sin:
Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will [or, favor of God, margin NASB] (14:9).
Righteousness exalts a nation, But sin is a disgrace to any people (14:34).
Who can say, “I have cleansed my heart, I am pure from my sin”? (20:9).
Proverbs not only presents us with the problem, but reveals God’s provision for it. Being a practical book, Proverbs informs men what is required for fellowship with God. I am not inclined to say that these are steps to conversion, but rather different dimensions of one’s change of direction, from following the path of folly to pursuing wisdom. Notice them with me.
1. MAN MUST HUMBLE HIMSELF AND CONFESS HIS SIN.
The fear of the Lord is the instruction for wisdom, And before honor comes humility (15:33).
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion (28:13).
2. MAN MUST BELIEVE GOD’S WORD.
Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your mind to my knowledge; For it will be pleasant if you keep them with you, That they may be ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the Lord, I have taught you today, even you. Have I not written to you excellent things Of counsels and knowledge, To make you know the certainty of the words of truth That you may correctly answer to him who sent you? (22:17-21).
Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him (30:5).
The one who despises the word will be in debt to it, But the one who fears the commandment will be rewarded (13:13).
Someone might wish to challenge my interpretation of these verses, especially 22:17-21, but the God who saves is also the God who has spoken. The writer of the first passage seems to sense that his words are those of God, and he therefore urges his reader to heed them, for his salvation. Ultimately our salvation is only as certain as the revelation which offers it. To believe in God we must first believe in His Word.
3. MAN MUST CEASE TRUSTING IN HIMSELF AND TRUST ONLY IN GOD FOR HIS SALVATION.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil (3:5-7).
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe (18:10).
The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted (29:25).
4. MAN MUST FORSAKE HIS FOLLY AND TURN TO THE WAY OF WISDOM.
If you seek her [wisdom] as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, Guarding the paths of justice, And He preserves the way of His godly ones (2:4-8).
Forsake your folly and live, And proceed in the way of understanding (9:6).
Proverbs tends to sum up the way man must come into a relationship with God by the expression “the fear of the Lord.”
1. THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE FIRST STEP IN OBTAINING WISDOM AND KNOWING GOD.
Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God (2:5).
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding (9:10; cf. 1:7; 15:33).
2. THE FEAR OF THE LORD TURNS ONE FROM DEATH TO LIFE, FROM GOD’S WRATH TO HIS LIFE.
The fear of the Lord prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened (10:27).
The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death (14:27).
The fear of the Lord leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil (19:23).
The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord Are riches, honor and life (22:4).
3. THE FEAR OF THE LORD CAUSES ONE TO AVOID EVIL AND TO PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS.
“The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way, And the perverted mouth, I hate” (8:13).
He who walks in his uprightness fears the Lord, But he who is crooked in his ways despises Him (14:2).
By lovingkindness and truth iniquity is atoned for, And by the fear of the Lord one keeps away from evil (16:6).
Do not let your heart envy sinners, But live in the fear of the Lord always (23:17).
4. TO FEAR THE LORD IS TO RESPECT HIM, BUT ALSO TO TRUST IN HIM.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil (3:7).
In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge (14:26).
In order to be delivered from divine judgment and enter into an intimate fellowship with God, man must first humble himself by acknowledging his sin. He must cease trusting in himself, and put his confidence in God. Having forsaken the way of sin, he must flee from evil and pursue righteousness.
In the light of what we have learned concerning God and man in the Book of Proverbs, let me conclude by emphasizing two obligations which we must not neglect.
1. MAN IS OBLIGATED TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT HE WILL CHOOSE THE WAY OF WISDOM BY CONFESSING HIS SIN, TURNING FROM HIS EVIL WAYS, AND TRUSTING IN GOD. Proverbs persists in confronting us with the urgency of coming to a decision regarding the fear of the Lord. There are only two ways, the way of wisdom and the way of folly. Those who follow their natural bent will continue on the road to destruction. Those who admit their sin and trust in God will receive life and peace and fellowship with God. Whether by decision or default, every man, woman, and child makes this choice. Do not delay to choose to follow the way of wisdom, the way of life.
2. THOSE WHO HAVE CHOSEN TO WALK IN THE WAY OF WISDOM ARE OBLIGATED TO POINT THE WAY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT. I believe that the Book of Proverbs teaches us to be evangelistic. We should be like God (and Dame Wisdom), seeking after men, warning them of the danger of their way, and urging them to turn from folly to wisdom. Several Proverbs indicate that the wise man is obliged to urge others to follow in the way that leads men from death to life.
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who is wise wins souls (11:30).
The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray (12:26).
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death (13:14).
Deliver those who are being-taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, 0 hold them back.
If you say, “See, we did not know this,” does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work? (24:11-12).
The one who has come to recognize his own sin and the danger of following the way of folly, also knows full well the danger which lies ahead for others, and he is compelled to warn them by sharing the words of wisdom he has come to believe.
A Biblical Attitude Toward Wealth
In our previous studies in the Book of Proverbs we have concentrated on what the wise is not--simple, a fool, a sluggard. Now we are going to turn our attention to what characterizes the one who is wise in Proverbs. We will begin by exploring the relationship of wisdom to wealth. One of the ways a wise man can be identified is by the way he handles money. Wisdom is not discerned by the amount of money one possesses, but by one’s attitude toward money, by the way it is acquired, and by the way it is used. This message will explore the attitude of the wise toward wealth. The next will probe the ways in which money should be obtained and used.
The fact that I am beginning to explore the character of the wise with a study on money should not be understood to suggest that I believe money is the most important subject we could study--it is not. In Luke 16:10 Jesus referred to money as a “very little thing.” There are several reasons, however, why such a little thing as money should be of importance to us. First of all, little as it may be, it is a major problem in most American homes, Christian or non-Christian. We, like our government, have become accustomed to operating on a deficit budget system, living more on credit than on cash. The result has been the need for one or both spouses to work more than is wise. Christian giving is also apparently declining. When something which is a “little thing” becomes “big” in our lives, it is a problem of priorities. Furthermore, Jesus taught that if we are not faithful in this “little thing” of money, we will not be faithful in those matters of greater import (cf. Luke 16:10). Let us seek to be wise in the way we use money. Let us seek the wisdom of God in this area as we look once more into the Book of Proverbs.
Some seem to think that nothing is better than riches, but according to Proverbs there are many things more important than money. Let us briefly consider some of these better things.
1. HONESTY AND KINDNESS ARE BETTER THAN PROSPERITY. In Proverbs we are told that it is more important to be truthful than to be rich.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness, And it is better to be a poor man than a liar (Prov. 19:22).
The rich do not necessarily find it essential to speak gently to others. According to Proverbs 18:23 the rich man “answers roughly.” The Ebenezer Scrooges of life do not deal kindly with others, but Proverbs implies that kindness is more important than riches. Very specifically, we are told in 19:22 that it is better to be an honest man than a wealthy one, if one must choose between the two.
2. A GOOD REPUTATION IS BETTER THAN WEALTH.
A good name is to be more desired than great riches, Favor is better than silver and gold (22:1).
3. GODLY CHARACTER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY. It is more important to be righteous than to be rich. A man’s integrity is more important than his affluence.
Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than he who is perverse in speech and is a fool (19:1).
Better is a little with righteousness Than great income with injustice (16:8).
4. A PEACEFUL HOME, FILLED WITH LOVE, IS BETTER THAN A BANK ACCOUNT FILLED
WITH MONEY. Countless homes are sacrificed to the attempt to earn money, often on the pretext of providing for the family. Proverbs instructs us that it is much more important to have a home filled with love and harmony than one that has only money.
Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, Than a fattened ox and hatred with it (15:17).
Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife (17:1).
In negative terms, one who seeks to gain wealth in an unrighteous manner brings destruction to his home.
He who profits illicitly troubles his own house, But he who hates bribes will live (15:27).
5. WISDOM IS BETTER THAN WEALTH. Perhaps no theme is so frequently repeated in the early chapters of Proverbs.
“Take my instruction, and not silver, And knowledge rather than choicest gold. For wisdom is better than jewels; And all desirable things cannot compare with her” (8:10-11).
How much better it is to get wisdom than gold, And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver (16:16).
If so many things are better than wealth, we must admit that money is not nearly as important as some suppose it to be. Further study in Proverbs confirms this; let us next consider what money cannot do.
“Money isn’t everything,” someone has been quoted as saying “but it’s a long way ahead of whatever is in second place.” Proverbs informs us that not only is money not in first place, it is not even in the running for second place. One reason is that money simply cannot purchase those things in life which are most important.
1. MONEY CANNOT PROVIDE US WITH SECURITY.
There are two primary reasons why money fails to make a man secure. The first is that money simply cannot purchase security, for security cannot be bought. There are those who deceive themselves by thinking that wealth offers them security, but this is only imaginary.
A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own imagination (18:11).
The second reason money cannot offer us security is that wealth itself is often only temporary. Not only does our wealth fail to make us secure, our wealth itself is insecure.
Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, Cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings, Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens (23:4-5).
I recall hearing about a man who made hundreds of millions of dollars on a single transaction. Only a few months later the newspapers reported his loss of even more than what he had previously made. Someone commented, “He may not have lost his shirt, but it sure did loosen his tie.” Security can never be gained through money.
2. MONEY CANNOT BUY WISDOM.
Why is there a price in the hand of a fool to buy wisdom, When he has no sense? (17:16)29
3. MONEY CANNOT PROVIDE US WITH LIFE’S MOST PRECIOUS GIFT.
We know that money cannot buy true friends, because bought “friends” will forsake us when our time of need arrives.
All the brothers of a poor man hate him; How much more do his friends go far from him! He pursues them with words, but they are gone (19:7).
The Prodigal Son (Luke 15) is a New Testament example of this truth.
A good wife is a gift from the Lord (of. Prov. 18:22). A godly wife cannot be purchased, but is a gift of God’s grace.
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord (19:14).
4. SALVATION CANNOT BE BOUGHT WITH MONEY.
God’s grace is never obtained by any contribution from man. Because of this, money not only cannot save us, it often produces pride and self-confidence which only furthers our waywardness and sin.
Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, But righteousness delivers from death (11:4).
The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, But the treacherous will be caught by their own greed (11:6).
He who trusts in his riches will fall, But the righteous will flourish like the green leaf (11:28).
While it may not be accurate to say that the “best things in life are free,” it at least should be evident that the best things in life cannot be purchased with money.
Anyone who has gone from poverty to prosperity can testify that money will produce results. Unfortunately, many of these are not very beneficial. Let us consider some of the effects which wealth may produce in our lives, a further evidence that money is not all it is purported to be.
1. YOU CAN BE ASSURED THAT MONEY WILL ATTRACT “FRIENDS.”
Proverbs teaches us that money adds friends, while poverty removes them.
Wealth adds many friends, But a poor man is separated from his friend (19:4).
Many will entreat the favor of a generous man, And every man is a friend to him who gives gifts (19:6).
When I was a young lad my parents moved to a rustic but delightful home on a lake. That is where I spent most of my growing-up years. After a number of years of observation, I concluded that while we had many wonderful friends, there was a particular type of “friend” that only visited us in the summer, when the fishing was good, or when the weather was hot--just right for swimming. Wealth adds many of these “friends,” but difficult times will always cause these folks to seek friendship elsewhere.
2. MONEY TENDS TO GIVE THE RICH A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY.
In a passage which we have already noted, we are told that the rich tend to find a false sense of well-being in their wealth.
A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own imagination (18:11).
3. MONEY CAN PRODUCE PRIDE, AND APATHY TOWARD SPIRITUAL THINGS.
The reality of life is that the poor man who wonders where his next meal is coming from is more attuned to spiritual things than is the rich, who seemingly has no worry about such things.
The rich man is wise in his own eyes, But the poor who has understanding sees through him (28:11).
Agur, the godly man of chapter 30, refused to ask God to make him rich, fearing that it might cause his heart to turn from the Lord. He dared not request to become rich, lest, in his words, I be full and deny Thee and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’” (30:9).
There are a number of principles in the Book of Proverbs which should shape our attitude toward money. Some of these principles are:
1. NEITHER THE POSSESSION OF MONEY NOR THE LACK OF IT ARE PROOF OF ONE’S SPIRITUAL STATE.
The Judaism of Jesus’ day tended toward the error that prosperity was proof of piety. The rich, they supposed, were wealthy because they were more worthy. Spirituality could be quickly determined by looking at a man’s bank account, at the kind of clothes he wore, by the trappings of affluence. The asceticism of other religious groups caused them to conclude just the opposite. They believed that the godly must shun all material possessions, so that poverty became proof of piety.
Both of these views are wrong for several reasons. First, one may be rich for the wrong reasons. Crime, for example, may be the means by which a man prospers. Furthermore, one may be poor for reasons other than sinfulness or slothfulness. Some are poor due to injustice, not a lack of initiative (13:23). If it is better to be poor than to be a liar (19:22), one may have chosen poverty in order to remain honest and pure in heart. Most importantly, the Bible teaches that we should never judge others on the basis of outward appearances.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (I Sam. 16:7).
In the Sermon on the Mount our Lord warned of the danger of externalism (of. Matt. 6:1-18), the performance of outward acts in order to appear to be righteous, yet without actually serving God from the heart. We dare not judge the spirituality of others by any standard which considers only outward appearances, rather than the attitude of the heart.
Perhaps this proverb sums it up as well as it can be said:
There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth (13:7).
True riches cannot be measured in terms of money.
2. GOD HAS NOT PROMISED TO MAKE EVERY GODLY CHRISTIAN RICH.
The question which must first be asked is, “Did God promise to financially prosper the Israelites, to whom and for whom Proverbs was written?” Frankly I think the answer is “Yes.” God had promised to bless Abraham (Gen. 12:1-3), a commitment reiterated to his offspring, Isaac (26:24), Jacob (35:9-12); and the sons of Jacob (cf. 49:3-27). In the Book of Deuteronomy prosperity and security are promised all who will live in accordance with the laws which God has laid down in the Mosaic covenant. The blessings of obedience and the consequences of disobedience are summarized in chapter 28. If the people of Israel disregard the law of God, they are warned that they will be driven from the land and taken into captivity (vv. 64-68).In the light of the promises of God to Israel, take note of this passage in Proverbs:
For the upright will live in the land, And the blameless will remain in it; But the wicked will be cut off from the land, And the treacherous will be uprooted from it (2:21-22).
The blessings on the righteous of which the Book of Proverbs speaks are those promised Israel by God, if they would obey His laws. I believe that prosperity was the standard, the ideal, and that the goal for Israel was to have no poor among the people of God. I understand this to be the point of Deuteronomy 15:4-5.
However, there shall be no poor among you, since the Lord will surely bless you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, if only you listen obediently to the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all this commandment which I am commanding you today.
While prosperity was the ideal, it was never viewed as something which would take place, for in the next verses of the same chapter in Deuteronomy, God instructs the Israelites about their obligation to minister to the poor in their midst.
If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and shall generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks (Deut. 15:7-8).
The most striking statement, one which our Lord repeats (cf. Matt. 26:11), is that found in Deuteronomy 15:11:”For the poor will never cease to be in your land.” Even in Israel it was never assumed that everyone would be rich.
One of the contributions which dispensationalism has made to the study of the Scriptures is to differentiate between promises made to the Jews and those made to New Testament saints. If we were to conclude that Proverbs promises that all who are godly will be rich, we should be entirely consistent and say that we will dwell in the land of Israel (Prov. 2:21).I do not find any promise in the New Testament that godliness will be rewarded with great wealth. Even our Lord laid aside His wealth and became poor for our sake (2 Cor. 8:9).
3. PROVERBS NEVER ENCOURAGES US TO DESIRE TO BE WEALTHY, BUT TO MAKE EVERY SACRIFICE TO BE WISE.
Proverbs does not encourage materialism; it forbids it.
Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, Cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings, Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens (23:4-5).
A man with an evil eye hastens after wealth, And does not know that want will come upon him (28:22).
The greatest treasure in life is wisdom, which begins with the fear of the Lord and is a life-long search for divine insight into life. Just as we are not taught to seek after happiness, but holiness, so we are encouraged to search for wisdom, not wealth. If wealth is to come, it should come like happiness, as a fringe benefit, not a goal itself. This was the desire of Agur, who realized that both poverty and prosperity had their dangers. The earnest petition which Agur made was that he be righteous, not rich. Let his petition serve as a model for us as well:
Two things I asked of Thee, Do not refuse me before I die: Keep deception and lies far from me, Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion, Lest I be full and deny Thee and say, “Who is the Lord?” Or lest I be in want and steal, And profane the name of my God (30:7-9).
Oh that you and I might hunger more for wisdom than wealth, and that we would be willing to discipline our lives to obtain it. May we not make prosperity the priority of our life, and yet may we also not falsely condemn wealth as though it were a sin. The real issue is our attitude toward money. Many who are poor are more materialistic than the rich because they value wealth too highly. The way we look at wealth, and the way we use it, is what matters to God. In our next lesson we will consider the acquisition and use of money.
One final word is in order here: it is possible that you have not yet come to know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. You are a debtor to God and no amount of money will ever be able to repay it. The debt is that of sin. The Bible teaches us that the consequence of sin is death (Romans 6:23).There is no way that you will ever be able to repay this debt. In His mercy, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross of Calvary. He bore the penalty of your sins. He alone can offer you the forgiveness of your sins and the assurance of spending eternity in heaven. The price was beyond measure--the shed blood of the sinless Son of God. You may be freed of your debt and become an heir of God’s riches only by a personal relationship to Jesus Christ. I urge you to confess your sins and to trust in Him for eternal life.
29 I see no contradiction between Proverbs 17:16 and 23:23, which says, “By truth and do not sell it.” In 17:16 the reference is to the fool. He could not acquire wisdom at any price. In 23:23 the wise man is exhorted to seek truth. Truth cannot be bought, but this is a figure of speech which teaches us that, like the pearl of great price (Matt. 13:46), truth is worth great sacrifice in order to obtain it.
Wisdom in the Acquisition and Use of Money
Chuck Swindoll, in his excellent book, Strike the Original Match, has included a chapter concerning the matter of money in a marriage. The chapter is appropriately entitled, “Till Debt Do Us Part.” Unfortunately money mismanagement has taken a heavy toll on the marriages of many Christian couples, as well as in the unbelieving community.
As accurate as it is to say that debt may destroy a relationship, it is not just the lack of money which has disastrous effects; it often may be the abundance of it that is so destructive. And if individual Christians are plagued by problems related to finances, so is the church. A church leader was once told, “No longer can our church say, ‘Silver and gold have we none,’” to which he wisely responded, “No, and neither are we able to say, like Peter and John, ‘In the name of Jesus, rise up and walk.’” Financial prosperity is often accompanied by a loss of spiritual power, due to apathy and complacency. Such was the case in the church at Laodicea (Rev. 3:17).
In our first study of money in the Book of Proverbs we focused on a proper attitude toward money. Now we will concentrate on the biblical instruction of Proverbs related to the making and spending of money. In this lesson we will talk about wisdom in the acquisition of money as well as in its appropriation.
It matters a great deal how money is obtained. Proverbs reminds us that God is intimately concerned with the way we earn a living. God is not aloof to the way we obtain money.
A just balance and scales belong to the Lord; All the weights of the bag are His concern (16:11).
Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Or crush the afflicted at the gate; For the Lord will plead their case, And take the life of those who rob them (22:22-23).
Money which is gained in an ungodly way will not bring us any lasting benefit; instead, it will bring about our own misery.
Ill-gotten gains do not profit, But righteousness delivers from death (10:2).
He who profits illicitly troubles his own house, But he who sows righteousness gets a true reward (11:18).
Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man, But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel (20:17).
The getting of treasures by a lying tongue Is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death (21:6).
Many people seem to think that they can “launder” money, which they have gained dishonestly, by giving a portion of it to God. They convince themselves that since God is getting a “piece of the action” He will not be overly concerned with how the money was obtained. This viewpoint was long ago demonstrated in the life of the patriarch Jacob. Jacob made a vow, promising to give a tithe to God if He would protect and prosper him (Gen. 28:20-22).I find it interesting that Jacob is never recorded as giving this tithe, nor did God ever ask for it. And all the time he was with his uncle, Laban, Jacob was trying to become wealthy by his schemes and questionable practices (cf. Gen. 30:25-43).
Some people make money by questionable, if not illegal, means, and then attempt to salve their consciences by giving a portion to the church or charity. In their minds, benevolence is the end that justifies their sinful means. The tragedy is that there are all too many churches and organizations that are eager to relieve the guilt of unprincipled men by taking their money, helping them feel good about their sin. Proverbs tells us that no sacrifice is pleasing to God that is wrongly gained:
To do righteousness and justice Is desired by the Lord rather than sacrifice (21:3).
The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination, How much more when he brings it with evil intent! (21:27)
Three principles sum up the teaching of Proverbs on how we should acquire money. Let me point these principles out, with a brief word of explanation on each.
1. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE SOUGHT WITHOUT A COST TO US.
You might call this the principle of toil and time. The fall of Adam in the Garden of Eden took place many centuries before Proverbs was written. The curse which God placed on man, “Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life” (Gen. 3:17), is the underpinning of this principle of toil and time. Money should not be sought without toil, hard work, or without an investment of our time. Money obtained too easily or quickly will soon be gone.
Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, But the hand of the diligent makes rich (10:4).
He who tills his land will have plenty of bread, But he who pursues vain things lacks sense (12:11).
In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty (14:23).
Do not love sleep, lest you become poor; Open your eyes, and you will be satisfied with food (20:13).
An inheritance gained hurriedly at the beginning, Will not be blessed in the end (20:21).
The opposite of diligence and hard work is laziness. The lazy seek to avoid work altogether. Since they must make money to live they turn toward schemes and get-rich-quick offers. Proverbs teaches us that these alternatives to work will not succeed.
2. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE GAINED AT THE PRICE OF PRINCIPLE.
Proverbs 10:2 calls money acquired at the expense of principle “ill-gotten gains.” Other proverbs are more specific as to the principles which we dare not violate in the pursuit of an income. The following are some principles which we ought never to violate in the making of money:
3. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE GAINED AT THE EXPENSE OF TRUTH.
Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man, But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel (20:17).
The getting of treasures by a lying tongue Is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death (21:6).
4. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE GAINED AT THE EXPENSE OF JUSTICE.
Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity Than great income with injustice (16:8).
Wealth obtained by fraud dwindles. . . (13:11).
The king gives stability to the land by justice, But a man who takes bribes overthrows it (29:4).
5. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE GAINED AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.
Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Or crush the afflicted at the gate (22:22).
He who robs his father or his mother, And says, “It is not a transgression,” Is the companion of a man who destroys (28:24).
He who increases his wealth by interest and usury, Gathers it for him who is gracious to the poor (28:8).
6. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE GAINED AT THE EXPENSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
Ill-gotten gains do not profit, But righteousness delivers from death (10:2).
The wicked earns deceptive wages, But he who sows righteousness gets a true reward (11:18).
7. MONEY SHOULD NOT BE ACQUIRED AT THE EXPENSE OF BIBLICAL PRIORITIES.
We can agree, I believe, that we should never sin in order to gain wealth. But we must carry this one step further to accurately convey the wisdom of Proverbs. Not only should we avoid sin to gain wealth, but we should not sacrifice any biblical priority to earn money either. Since there are many things in life more important than money, our efforts to earn money should never rearrange these priorities. For example, we have already learned (Lesson 8) that a happy home is more important than a prosperous one (Prov. 15:17; 17:1). When the pursuit of money takes a toll on our home life, we have violated biblical priorities. Priorities should not be laid aside or rearranged in the making of money.
As well as teaching us how to earn money, Proverbs warns us of the many ways in which money can quickly be lost. The following are some of the most commonly mentioned pitfalls:
1. LAZINESS. The sluggard not only fails to obtain wealth because of his idleness, he also neglects the resources he has.
I passed by the field of the sluggard, And by the vineyard of the man lacking sense; And behold, it was completely overgrown with thistles, Its surface was covered with nettles, And its stone wall was broken down (24:30-31).
Put in positive terms, we are exhorted not to neglect what we already possess.
Know well the condition of your flocks, And pay attention to your herds; For riches are not forever, Nor does a crown endure to all generations. When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, And the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, The lambs will be for your clothing, And the goats will bring the price of a field, And there will be goats’ milk enough for your food, And sustenance for your maidens (27:23-27).
2. GREED. Strangely enough, it is often a person’s greed that contributes to his poverty:
The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, But the treacherous will be caught by their own greed (11:6).
A man with an evil eye hastens after wealth, And does not know that want will come upon him (28:22).
Most con artists appeal to the greed of their prey. Our laziness and greed incline us to want to get rich quickly and easily. The con man has just the answer for this--a scheme that offers us a chance at wealth that others are not shrewd enough to leap at. Remember that the sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than the wise (26:16), but in reality he is senseless (24:30). Greed causes us to overreach and to lose what we have in hopes of gaining more than we should expect.
3. IMPETUOUSNESS. The greedy are also hasty or impetuous. Greediness inclines us to grab for all we can get. My brother and I were in a Safeway store on Christmas eve when he overheard a clerk tell a customer that all the bread on the shelves was free. This was because the store was closing and would not be open the next day. Some walked away in disbelief. Others picked through the bread and took a loaf or two. My brother and I grabbed three shopping carts and loaded up everything we could carry off. I have to admit that it was greed that caused me to want to grab every loaf of bread in that store, and quickly before anyone else got it first. Proverbs warns that it is this kind of greedy haste which brings about poverty.
The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, But everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty (21:5).
Have you ever noticed how Madison Avenue has taught the seller to put a time limit on things for sale? There is a sale from 6 P.M. until midnight. The door-to-door salesman assures you that you must decide tonight, that he cannot extend the offer to a later time. The reason is that our greediness inclines us to snatch up the offer while we can, fearing that we may never have the opportunity again. Generally our greed gets us into trouble because we make a hasty decision to spend money quickly in order to save money on an item we really didn’t need.
4. WRONG ASSOCIATIONS. Much money has been lost due to an unwise choice of associations. Proverbs warns us that being around the wrong kind of people may bring us to poverty.
Now then, my sons, listen to me, And do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her [the adulterous woman], And do not go near the door of her house, Lest you give your vigor to others, And your years to the cruel one; Lest strangers be filled with your strength, And your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien (5:7-10).
Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; For the heavy drinker and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe a man with rags (23:20-21).
I know what the world thinks about “wine, women, and song,” but Proverbs warns us that we had better stick to singing, unless we have a hankering for poverty.
5. SQUANDERING EXTRAVAGANCE. One of the ways the foolish are separated from their possessions is that they consume too much and save too little. They are not content with a little of anything, but exhaust it extravagantly and quickly.
There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man swallows it up (21:20).
It is for this reason that we are told:
Have you found honey? Eat only what you need, Lest you have it in excess and vomit it (25:16).
I have a friend who has wanted a van for a long time. There is no question of his financial ability to purchase one. Not long ago he was at a national automobile dealers meeting and saw countless configurations of style and luxury in vans. When he told me about seeing all these vans I asked if he bought one. He replied that he did not, and his reason was that everyone needs to do without something they would like, even if they can afford it. That’s wisdom. Consumerism in America has become a great problem because we have become accustomed to being able to buy what we cannot afford on a little piece of plastic called the credit card.
6. SURETY. One of the most prominent words of financial warning, very perplexing one, is that of becoming surety for another.
My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, Have given a pledge for a stranger, If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, Have been caught with the words of your mouth, Do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; Since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, Go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. Do not give sleep to your eyes, Nor slumber to your eyelids; Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter’s hand, And like a bird from the hand of the fowler (6:1-5).
A man lacking in sense pledges, And becomes surety in the presence of his neighbor (17:18).
Take his garment when he becomes surety for a stranger; And for foreigners, hold him in pledge (20:16).
Do not be among those who give pledges, Among those who become sureties for debts. If you have nothing with which to pay, Why should he take your bed from under you? (22:26-27).
Becoming surety for another is foolish (17:18), and it is so serious a danger to the one who has thus pledged that he should remedy the situation immediately, even though it is personally humiliating (6:3). In some way or other, it places the one who pledges in a vulnerable position, almost a victim of the one for whom he has become surety (6:2-5).What is the error involved in becoming a surety for another, and why is it such a dangerous practice?
Becoming surety for another is the process whereby one assumes responsibility for the debts of another. Derek Kidner says that the liability in such cases was unlimited.30 The dangers of such unspecified liability are clear. Proverbs warns against becoming surety for a stranger (6:1; 20:16; 27:13). One should not assume the responsibility for a person whose character and financial reliability are unknown, especially if our guarantee is for an unspecified or unlimited amount of money. The effect of becoming a surety for another is to endanger the financial well-being of our family for the sake of one we hardly know. As Proverbs puts it, we may find ourselves in a position of not having the resources to cover the debts of another, and thus lose even our own bed (22:27, perhaps the equivalent to “losing our shirt”).
The fact that one needs another to become a surety for him already tells us something about that person. It says that this “stranger” is either unknown and unproven in character and responsibility, or one who has already proven himself unreliable. At best becoming surety is a gamble. And you will notice that under such an arrangement we have everything to lose and nothing to gain. In addition to all this, the fact that we have become surety for another may even encourage irresponsibility on his part. After all, if he doesn’t pay up, we will.
Does the teaching of Proverbs on surety prohibit our co-signing a bank note for anyone? I am sure some would differ with me here, but I tend to see the emphasis as being on the danger of guaranteeing the debts of a stranger. Co-signing a note with a son or daughter, for example, may enable them to begin to establish their own credit. In addition, the note is for a specified amount, and hopefully something is being purchased which would serve as collateral (such as a car). I take it that we are warned about being foolishly generous for those we hardly know, and for an unspecified or unlimited amount of money. We often have enough trouble paying our own bills; let us not look for trouble by assuming the liabilities of another. As parents we must also be alert to the danger of teaching our children to be irresponsible by always coming to their rescue. Whether by our profession or our practice, telling others that we will always bail them out of financial disaster, especially when it is due to their own folly, simply encourages financial foolishness.
There are better ways to handle the needs of those who would ask us to guarantee their debts. The first would be for us to make a personal loan. To be businesslike we would want assurance of repayment in the form of character references, collateral, and so on. In addition, we would probably charge interest (this was not forbidden in the case of a foreigner, cf. Deut. 15:1-3; 23:19-20). In this way the amount of money (and the potential loss) would be limited, and the possibility of gain would be present. An outright gift would be another means of helping another. We would know from the beginning what the cost to us would be and whether or not we could afford it.
Another possibility is that one may not find it wise to do any of the above. God provided for the needs of hungering Israelites and foreigners alike in the instruction to leave sufficient excess in the field for them to glean (Lev. 19:9-10). Thus the needs of any could be met in this way. If the basic needs of the stranger for food and clothing are met, why should others endanger the well-being of their family to help a stranger purchase what he really doesn’t need?
The bottom line is this: if it is not advisable to borrow money unless absolutely necessary (as I believe Proverbs suggests, cf. 22:7), then surely it is foolish to mortgage your financial future for the sake of a stranger, whose character is so little known no one is willing to loan him money without another to assume his debt in case of his default. God made provision for the basic needs of both Israelites and foreigners, but He warns us about becoming liable for indebtedness that is not essential.
Proverbs has much to say on the subject of our financial obligations. While there may be some disagreement with the exact order of the priority of the following obligations, I believe that we will all agree that these should be priorities which govern the use of the money God has given us:
1. WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO GIVE TO GOD. In the Old Testament God carefully prescribed the tithes and sacrifices which He expected from His people. Proverbs teaches the need to give of the abundance He has provided, and that this would result in even greater blessings:
Honor the Lord from your wealth, And from the first of all your produce; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine (3:9-10).
For the Israelite, it was an act of faith to give from the first of his crops. After all, one might reason, who knows how great the harvest will be? But giving the first to God acknowledged that it was from Him that the harvest had come, and that the remainder of the harvest would come also. My wife and I have personally found that our giving first to the Lord has developed our faith, and we have never lacked any necessity.
2. WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO PAY OUR DEBTS TO OTHERS, WITHOUT DELAY. There is a tendency to withhold payment as long as possible, especially with large corporations. Now I understand that there is a time limit within which we can pay without penalty. But Proverbs seems to warn us about withholding payment when we have the money to pay:
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come back, And tomorrow I will give it,” When you have it with you (3:27-28).
We should take note of the fact that “those to whom it is due” are literally “its owners” (cf. 3:27, margin, NASV). Those whom we owe, whether it be the government for our taxes (e.g. Rom. 13:1-7), or payment for services rendered, really own the money we are withholding, not us. We are keeping what others own from them when we withhold payment. This is the teaching of the Old Testament and the New:
“You shall give him his wages on his day before the sun sets, for he is poor and sets his heart on it; so that he may not cry against you to the Lord and it become sin in you (Deut. 24:15; cf. Lev. 19:13).
Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth (James 5:4).
3. WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE FOR THE NEEDS OF OUR OWN HOUSEHOLD. I believe that this is more assumed than stated in the Book of Proverbs, but it is clearly stated as an obligation in the New Testament.
But if any one does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8).
In Proverbs, we see the godly woman making certain that the needs of her family are taken care of. Notice also, that they are not shabbily met. Both the wise woman and her family are well dressed. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple (31:21-22).
It does not frequently occur, but it is possible for a person to be so generous with others that his own family suffers. I do not believe that we should help others at the expense of our families. That is, I do not believe that we should help others to live on a higher standard of living than we provide for our own families. Most often, however, the problem lies in the fact that neither we nor our family desires to lower our own standard of living to help those in dire need.
4. WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO HELP PROVIDE FOR THE NEEDS OF THE POOR. The truly righteous is never aloof to the needs of those about him. In fact, those who are more prosperous should use their wealth to minister to the needs of the poor.
There is one who scatters, yet increases all the more, And there is one who withholds what is justly due, but it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. He who withholds grain, the people will curse him, But blessing will be on the head of him who sells it (11:24-26).
He who despises his neighbor sins, But happy is he who is gracious to the poor (14:21).
He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, But he who is gracious to the needy honors Him (14:31).
He who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord, And He will repay him for his good deed (19:17).
He who is generous will be blessed, For he gives some of his food to the poor (22:9).
He who gives to the poor will never want, But he who shuts his eyes will have many curses (28:27).
She extends her hand to the poor; And she stretches out her hands to the needy (31:20).
5. WE SHOULD MAKE PROVISION FOR FUTURE NEEDS. Not only are we obligated to provide for our families in terms of their present needs, we should also save in order to meet future needs. This is not hoarding wealth, but making wise provision for the days ahead.
Go to the ant, 0 sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise, Which, having no chief, Officer or ruler, Prepares her food in the summer, And gathers her provision in the harvest (6:6-8).
There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man swallows it up (21:20).
I know some Christians who very sincerely believe that they should exercise faith by not buying any insurance nor setting aside any money for future needs. At one point in my life I was ready to cash in all my insurance. A wise friend gently warned me, “Bob, I won’t tell you not to cancel your insurance, but I will remind you that you should be willing to accept the possibility that God will take you and that your wife will have to bear the entire financial burden when you are gone.” My friend was not talking hypothetically, for he had a friend who had done just what I was contemplating--and he died, leaving his wife to care for four young children. Some may call that faith, but I do not think that Proverbs would.
6. WISE INVESTMENTS. Our Lord Jesus told a parable in which one steward was rebuked for failing to take the money placed in his care and increase it (Matt. 25:26-28). Some Christians seem to think it is wrong to make money. Proverbs commends the godly woman because she took the money she had and invested it wisely.
She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard (31:16).
A friend of mine who is far wiser than I in the use of money gave me some very good advice, which I would like to share with you. He said that I should carefully distinguish between my savings (for retirement) and my investments. Savings should be as certain as possible. After all, who wants to try to retire on a small sum of money, one diminished by bad investments? Investments involve a higher risk factor than savings, my friend went on. Even here one should probably tend toward conservative investing, spending only money we can afford to lose on high-risk ventures. We should distinguish between savings and investments. I believe Proverbs makes that important distinction.
7. WE SHOULD MAKE PROVISION FOR AN INHERITANCE. In my mind this is probably the lowest level of priority. Far better for us to leave a heritage of godliness and wisdom to our children than a large amount of money. Nevertheless, Proverbs does say this:
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous (13:22).
There is a further word of caution, however, on the subject of inheritances. If one does leave an inheritance, he should also be careful not to give too much too quickly.
An inheritance gained hurriedly at the beginning, Will not be blessed in the end (20:21).
I have observed that those who went through the hard times of the depression (or whose family was poor as they grew up) are often too easy on their children. They give them everything they want, and they do not teach them the important fact of life that we must learn to get the things we want by working for them. Let those of us who are able to leave an inheritance be careful that it will be a blessing to those who receive it.
As we conclude this lesson on acquiring and using money in Proverbs, I want several truths to be foremost in your mind.
First, Proverbs teaches us that while we must be willing to work in order to obtain wealth, it is God who ultimately prospers us. When we forget where our material provisions come from, we are on very serious spiritual ground. Spiritual apathy often results from our misconception that we have prospered because we have worked harder or are more spiritual. Wealth is a gift which God has given some. In the eyes of most of the inhabitants of this planet All Americans are wealthy. But it is God who sovereignly bestows material prosperity, just as He has sovereignly bestowed spiritual gifts (cf. 1 Cor. 12:11). Just as some will have more prominent and “successful” gifts (1 Cor. 12:4-6), so some will have greater prosperity. But whether in the case of spiritual gifts or material wealth, the absence or presence of it is no proof of our spiritual state. And in both instances, what we have been given is for the good of others.
But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (1 Cor. 12:7).
Instruct them [the wealthy] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed (1 Tim. 6:18-19).
Secondly, we should always look at our material possessions in terms of the principle of stewardship. A steward does not own anything, but he has been put in charge of its use. God had told Israel of old that they did not ultimately own their land, but that they were simply placed on it as stewards. When they misused the land and disobeyed God, they were driven from the land.
‘The land, moreover, shall not be sold permanently, for the land is Mine; for you are but aliens and sojourners with Me’ (Lev. 25:23).
Whenever we begin to think that the money we have is really ours, we are in trouble. God is the possessor of us and of all we have. To forget this is to commence a very dangerous course in life.
Third, God has ordained to make this area of finances a proving ground for our faith. Because money cannot buy security, nor is it secure itself (Lesson 8), we must learn to trust God in the area of finances. I know that most of you have been learning lessons in this area for a long time. The more I read the Old Testament and consider God’s dealings with Israel, the more I am impressed with how God chose to develop the faith of His people through their finances.
For example, we think of Canaan as the land “flowing with milk and honey,” and such it was (Ex. 3:8,17). But Egypt would have been the land a farmer would have chosen to settle in.
“For the land, into which you are entering to possess it, is not like the land of Egypt from which you came, where you used to sow your seed and water it with your foot like a vegetable garden. But the land into which you are about to cross to possess it, a land of hills and valleys, drinks water from the rain of heaven, a land for which the Lord your God cares; the eyes of the Lord your God are always on it, from the beginning even to the end of the year” (Deut. 11:10-12).
Now isn’t that interesting? God didn’t choose to bless the land of Canaan because it was the best land, just as He did not choose to bless the Israelites because of any natural superiority or greatness (Deut. 9:4-6). God placed the Israelites in the land of Canaan because they would have to look to Him for rain and for the abundance He promised. In addition, the laws which God established further tested their faith. They were to work six days and rest on the seventh, the Sabbath (Ex. 20:8-11); they were to till the land six years and let it rest on the seventh (Lev. 25:1-4).Interest was not to be charged fellow-Israelites (Deut. 23:19), debts were to be canceled every seven years (Deut. 15:1), and the land was to be restored to its original owner on the fiftieth year, the year of jubilee (Lev. 25:10). In my estimation all of these commandments served to teach Israel to live by faith.
That brings me to a principle which defines the relationship between faith and finances: financial faith is trusting God to provide for our needs consistent with the way He promised to meet our needs. I believe that anyone who expects to be blessed without having to work is a fool, not a man of faith. I believe that one who makes hasty commitments financially and looks to God for the money is not a man of faith, but a man who is foolish in handling money. I also suspect that he is foolish about most everything else.
One of my friends remarked this week that many Christians seem to be addicted to danger. They leap off of the financial pinnacles of life, expecting God to catch them before they fall, flat broke. Oftentimes we call these men men of vision, men of faith, when in reality they are no different from the man who likes to drive an automobile at the extreme limits of danger--just for the thrill of it. Let us be careful to exercise genuine faith. Let us do those things which God has told us to do--to work, to be generous to the poor, to save, and then leave the matter of riches to Him. But let us stop trusting God to make us rich in some miraculous, bizarre, or stupid way.
Finally, let us not lose sight of the difference between grace and works. believe that if we wish to make money we must work for it. After all, that is what God said when he cursed the ground on account of Adam’s sin (Gen. 3:17-19). I do not think that everyone who works hard will get rich. Riches, then, are the result of grace, God’s grace, not just hard work. Hard work does not obligate God to bless us; it is simply that which God has ordained to bless. Just so, it is not our calling on God which saves us; it is God’s sacrifice of His sinless Son on the cross of Calvary. The means which God has ordained for men to have their sins forgiven and to receive the gift of eternal life is their repentance and trust in Jesus Christ as the One who died in their place. We are not saved by any work of our own, but by the grace of God and the work of Jesus Christ. The riches which are far greater than wealth are those which we can obtain only in Christ. I invite you, I urge you, to share in these riches by simply trusting in the work which Christ has done on your behalf.
30 Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), pp. 71-72.
A New York columnist, Anthony Lewis, analyzed the 1980 election and concluded that the primary issue in the campaign was not inflation, or foreign policy or unemployment, but the role of religion in American politics. Dr. Haddon Robinson, president of the Conservative Baptist Theological Seminary in Denver has written,
Fundamentalists who preached during the sixties that God and Caesar were to be kept apart, have had a turn of mind about what the Bible teaches. Political involvement now smacks of a religious crusade. While professing that “the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,” Christians do a creditable job of capturing the media, lobbying, selecting candidates, supporting constitutional amendments.31
Dr. Robinson goes on to warn us that we may be baptizing political philosophies into the faith unconverted.
The fact is that there has probably been no time in the recent history of our nation when evangelical Christians have been as interested and involved in the political process. At the same time there has been growing pressure on the part of many unbelievers to keep Christians out of politics, under the banner of “separation of church and state.”
While the Book of Proverbs is often consulted by Christians for words of wisdom on various matters, few tend to turn there for guidance concerning our political involvement. I believe there is good reason, however, why Proverbs is especially pertinent to the subject of politics.
Dr. Bruce Waltke, formerly head of the Old Testament department of Dallas Theological Seminary, taught the Book of Proverbs to his three children. His approach was that this book, written mostly by king Solomon, was intended to prepare his son to rule in his place over Israel. Proverbs, then, was written to princes. Here was a king not only instructing his “son” about wisdom in general, but also about wisdom as it related to governing a nation. If Christians are to “reign with Christ” (2 Tim. 2:12), should we not also prepare ourselves to reign in a righteous way?
Americans need not wait until the “sweet bye and bye” to reign, however. In the days of David and Solomon authority to govern Israel was highly centralized, and it was virtually the king alone who determined the course of the nation, established the standards for men’s conduct, and saw to it that the law was enforced. Such is the case today in many parts of the world. In America, however, government is “of the people, by the people, and for the people.” If in Proverbs (and the New Testament as well, cf. Rom. 13:1-7) the king was responsible before God to punish evildoers and to reward the righteous, it is every American who bears this responsibility in our nation. Our government is representative and so we elect officials who act in our behalf. While some Christians may be called of God to run for political office, we all have the right and the responsibility to help elect those who will govern righteously. When our officials fail to keep this trust we have an obligation to seek to change their minds or to work to replace them. Since it is we, then, who are responsible to rule, let us look carefully at the teaching of Proverbs on the relationship between righteousness and ruling.
Good government is also a godly government according to Proverbs. There are three principles which outline the relationship between godliness and government in the Book of Proverbs. Let us briefly consider them.
1. RIGHTEOUSNESS IN GOVERNMENT IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE GOVERNED.
There are those who think that a government which seeks to uphold righteousness is only out to make life miserable for them. The Moral Majority, for example, is viewed as a group of Christian kill-joys who are out to make life as miserable for others as they have made it for themselves. Proverbs assumes that the purpose of government is to promote righteousness and that righteousness is for the good of the people.
When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices, And when the wicked perish, there is glad shouting. By the blessing of the righteous a city is exalted, But by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down (11:10-11).
Righteousness exalts a nation, But sin is a disgrace to any people (14:34).
When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, But when a wicked man rules, people groan (29:2).
The point of these Proverbs is that righteousness is not only right, it is best. When righteousness is promoted and preserved by government, the people are blessed. When government fails to achieve its intended purpose, the people suffer.
2. RIGHTEOUSNESS IN GOVERNMENT IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE GOVERNMENT.
Since the purpose of government is to uphold righteousness, God requires rulers to be righteous (cf. 16:2). When those who govern are righteous, their administration will be successful and stable.
Loyalty and truth preserve the king, And he upholds his throne by righteousness (20:28).
By the transgression of a land many are its princes, But by a man of understanding and knowledge, so it endures (28:2).
A leader who is a great oppressor lacks understanding, But he who hates unjust gain will prolong his days (28:16).
If a ruler pays attention to falsehood, All his ministers become wicked (29:12).
If the king judges the poor with truth, His throne will be established forever (29:14).
3. GOOD GOVERNMENT IS DEPENDENT UPON DIVINE ENABLEMENT.
Government deals with matters which are humanly impossible to produce. Righteousness, justice and equity are all God-given. A government which would promote righteousness must seek divine enablement.
For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, Guarding the paths of justice, And He preserves the way of His godly ones. Then you will discern righteousness and justice And equity and every good course (2:6-9).
‘By me kings reign, And rulers decree justice. By me princes rule, and nobles, All who judge rightly” (8:15-16).
Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the Lord understand all things (28:5).
While there may be wisdom in separating certain religious functions from political office, there is no way that we can separate righteousness from political office. If the purpose of government is to promote righteousness and to punish evil, how can we avoid defining righteousness and defending it as a part of our political obligation before God?
The outworking of righteousness in government is not left in vague and academic terms. Proverbs spells out what a godly government will do.
1. THE RIGHTEOUS RULER IS CHARACTERIZED BY EQUITY ANP IMPARTIALITY.
Those in positions of power sometimes thwart justice by showing deference to certain individuals in the community. Proverbs condemns such partiality and insists upon justice and equity.
A wicked man receives a bribe from the bosom to pervert the ways of justice (17:23).
To show partiality to the wicked is not good, Nor to thrust aside the righteous in judgment (18:5).
These also are sayings of the wise. To show partiality in judgment is not good. He who says to the wicked, “You are righteous,” Peoples will curse him, nations will abhor him; but to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight, and good blessing will come upon them (24:23-25).
It is not for kings, 0 Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Or for rulers to desire strong drink. Lest they drink and forget what is decreed, And pervert the rights of all the afflicted (31:4-5).
2. THE RIGHTEOUS RULER IS CONCERNED FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE POOR, THE AFFLICTED, AND THE HELPLESS.
It is possible for the king to abuse his power and to take advantage of the helpless. Ahab and Jezebel, for example, murdered Naboth in order to obtain his field (1 Kings 21). Proverbs recognizes this as one of the dangers facing those in power and urges those who reign not to abuse their power, but to use it to protect the powerless.
A leader who is a great oppressor lacks understanding, But he who hates unjust gain will prolong his days (28:16).
If a king judges the poor with truth, His throne will be established forever (29:14).
Open your mouth for the dumb, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy (31:8-9).
3. THE RIGHTEOUS RULER IS A SEEKER OF TRUTH.
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter (25:2).
Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the Lord understand all things (28:5).
4. THE RIGHTEOUS RULER SEEKS TO EXPOSE EVILDOERS, TO PUNISH THEM, AND TO PROTECT OTHERS FROM THEIR WICKEDNESS.
Righteousness is often evidenced by one’s response to wickedness. The righteous ruler will not tolerate sin. He will not practice wickedness, nor will he tolerate its practice or presence. He seeks it out and deals justly with it.
A king who sits on the throne of justice Disperses all evil with his eyes (20:8).
But to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight, And a good blessing will come upon them (24:25).
Take away the wicked from before the king, And his throne will be established in righteousness (25:5).
Like a trampled spring and a polluted well Is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked (25:26).
There are very clear principles in Proverbs which should govern the punishment of the wicked. Because of great disagreement over issues such as capital punishment I feel it is necessary for us to carefully consider them.
1. PUNISHING THE CRIMINAL IS BENEFICIAL TO HIM (OR HER).
No one should enjoy watching others suffer, nor should we delight in taking part in their punishment. Many think that the answer to crime is education. Others believe that going easy on the offender will be more effective than severe punishment. Proverbs warns us that if we take a soft position on sin we do a disservice to the criminal by encouraging him to repeat his crime.
A man of great anger shall bear the penalty, For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again (19:19).
The number of repeat offenses is astronomical in our nation. The reason is that we have not been tough enough on first offenders. Punishment for serious crimes will serve as a warning to offenders. Soft treatment simply asks for more crime. When there is no punishment, crime does pay for the criminal.
2. PUNISHING THE CRIMINAL IS BENEFICIAL TO OTHERS.
Proverbs does not teach that severe punishment will always reform the criminal. We know that it will not. But in the case of capital punishment at least it will keep the murderer from doing it again. But capital punishment (as with all severe punishment) does benefit others in that it serves to instruct those who are teachable that crime does not pay.
‘When the scoffer is punished, the naive becomes wise; But when the wise is instructed, he receives knowledge (21:11).
From our previous study of the fool we learned that the scoffer will never learn. Striking the scoffer teaches the scoffer nothing, but it is very instructive to the simple (19:25). Capital punishment may not have any impact on the hardened criminal, but it will at least rid society of the murderer. It will also have the beneficial secondary result of serving to instruct those who have no desire to face the same consequences for sin. The punishment of the evildoer, according to Proverbs, is a deterrent to crime. Capital punishment, it seems to me, is especially needed in cases where men will be deterred by nothing but death. And when such scoffers are dealt with, the simple will learn a valuable lesson.
3. PUNISHING THOSE GUILTY OF MURDER IS OUR DUTY. We do not have any option as to how to handle murderers. Severe punishment is our duty. We must be harsh with them.
A man who is laden with the guilt of human blood will be a fugitive until death; let no one support him (28:17).
It is first necessary to point out the obvious fact that while the death penalty was to be carried out on some who committed murder, Proverbs assumes that not all murderers would be executed. The case in point seems to be one of those exceptions. But we are instructed not to ease in any way the consequences of their sin.
Recently there was a special program on TV pertaining to capital punishment. It was occasioned by the execution of a murderer. The outcry was predictable. No one spoke up for the rights of the one who was killed. The focus was entirely on the pain inflicted on the criminal. Proverbs teaches us that this pain is deserved and that we dare not seek to reduce it. One man who was found guilty of murder was freed because of “temporary insanity.” As I understand it, this might well be identical with the “great anger” of Proverbs 19:19. In that instance the one who committed a crime in “great anger” was to face the full penalty so the crime would not recur. This seems to be directly applicable to much that is tolerated today in the name of “temporary insanity.”
I was very distressed to hear a prominent Christian leader say on the radio that if Christians are to gain a hearing we must beat the politicians at their own game. In the context of his statement I understood him to imply that the only way Christians can have an impact on their government is to adopt the methodology of the secular political movements of our day. I find such thinking troublesome. Proverbs has much to teach us about finding favor with the king, the equivalent in our world to having political influence on those in the government.
1. THOSE WHO HAVE INFLUENCE ON GOVERNMENT ARE THOSE WHO ARE WISE.
The king’s favor is toward a servant who acts wisely, but his anger is toward him who acts shamefully (14:35).
2. THOSE WHO STAND BEFORE KINGS ARE THOSE WHO ARE PROFICIENT AT WHAT THEY DO.
Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men (22:29).
3. THOSE WHO HAVE INFLUENCE ON GOVERNMENT ARE THOSE WHO HAVE LEARNED TO BE TACTFUL, GRACIOUS, AND PATIENT.
Righteous lips are the delight of kings, and he who speaks right is loved (16:13).
He who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend (22:11).
By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone (25:15).
4. THOSE WHO HAVE INFLUENCE ARE CAREFUL NOT TO ASSOCIATE THEMSELVES WITH RADICALS, WHOSE ONLY DESIRE IS TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE BY REVOLUTIONY MEANS.
My son, fear the Lord, and the king; do not associate with those who are given to change; for their calamity will rise suddenly, and who knows the ruin that comes from both of them (24:21-22).
5. THOSE WHO HAVE INFLUENCE DO NOT SEEK THE POWER OR THE PLEASURES OF THOSE THEY SEEK TO INFLUENCE.
When you sit down to dine with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you; and put a knife to your throat, If you are a man of great appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for it is deceptive food (23:1-3).
Do not claim honor in the presence of the king, and do not stand in the place of great men; For it is better that it be said to you, “Come up here,” than that you should be put lower in the presence of the prince, whom your eyes have seen (25:6-7).
It is my personal opinion that Christians have frequently failed to win a hearing from those who are in places of political power because we have failed to follow these simple principles. We have often evidenced a lack of wisdom, sometimes motivated by a statement or claim that was later proven to be factually erroneous. We have sometimes been ignored or disregarded, not because we were Christians, but because we were not competent or civil. In such cases our words have not been gracious and appropriate, but stinging and critical, even caustic. We may refer to politicians as liberals, humanists, or bureaucrats. Sometimes it has seemed to those in power that Christian spokesmen were simply seeking to establish their own power base.
Daniel and his three Hebrew companions were very influential in government, even though they were young and political prisoners. They were chosen to hold positions of power because they were skillful and wise (Dan. 1:17,19-20). Likewise, Pharaoh chose Joseph to be second in command in spite of the fact that he was a Hebrew, for whom the Egyptians had little regard (Gen. 43:32; 46:34), because he manifested greater wisdom than any other man in Egypt (Gen. 41:39).
Do we wish to have a hearing? Let us strive to be wise. Let us be so skilled that those in government seek the contribution we can make. And let us be very prudent in the way we speak and act before men in positions of political power. Let us not be disregarded for being foolish, rather than for being Christians.
Let me attempt to sum up the teaching of Proverbs on the subject of politics with a few principles.
1. GODLINESS CANNOT BE SEPARATED FROM GOVERNMENT. The purpose of government is to promote and protect righteousness, and to punish the wicked. While the framers of our constitution were wise to guard against a state church, recent efforts to ban everything related to religious faith from government under the banner of separation of church and state go too far. They go far beyond the Scriptures and even beyond the intent of the framers of the constitution. In order to be good, government must be godly; and it must promote godliness.
2. GODLY PEOPLE SHOULD NOT SHUN THEIR RESPONSIBILITIY AS A PART OF GOVERNMENT. While Proverbs shows a definite relationship between godliness and government, many American evangelicals have tended to equate politics and the American political process with something unclean. I know of godly men and women who have said, “I vote on my knees.” That sounds good, and I do not doubt the sincerity of those who hold the view that the Christian is to stand aloof from government. I do, however, question the biblical basis for such a position. In the Old Testament it was the ideal that godly men should lead in government, men like David and Solomon. In America we who are citizens have the responsibility to take part in the process of electing men and women who will make and enforce the laws of our land. By our very laws Americans are the government. By God’s laws, as reflected in the Book of Proverbs, we are responsible before God to govern in a godly way. Government is a responsibility Christians dare not take lightly.
I should also add that in this area of life, as in all others, the nature and extent of our involvement is a matter of gift and calling. I believe that God has called certain Christians to devote their lives to direct involvement in government.
Because of the complexity of government, there are some who have been raised up to keep other Christians informed on legislation before congress and areas that need particular prayer and action. But all of us have a part to play, I believe, in the political process. Let us play that part well, to the glory of God and for the good of our fellow man.
3. EVEN THOUGH SOLOMON “WROTE THE BOOK” ON THE SUBJECT OF GODLINESS IN GOVERNMENT HE FAILED TO HEED HIS OWN COUNSEL. We know that most of what was written in Proverbs on the subject of politics (the king) was written by Solomon.
Let us find a word of warning from the record of 1 Kings chapters 11 and 12. In his later years Solomon forsook the law of God, married foreign wives, and built altars to heathen gods on which he offered sacrifices (11:1-8). God had appeared to Solomon twice to warn him of this great evil (11:9-10), and yet Solomon failed to take heed. Solomon’s rule was heavy-handed (12:4), and his son Rehoboam purposed to be even more severe (12:6-15). When Solomon learned that God intended to raise up Jeroboam to lead ten of the tribes of Israel, he, much like Saul before him, attempted to put this challenger to death (compare 1 Sam. 18 with 1 Kings 11:40).
I believe there is a lesson to be learned here. Many who have written books on various subjects of the Christian life have later failed to heed their own counsel. Now I hasten to say that their words may have been correct, as were Solomon’s. But it is not enough simply to know the truth; we must practice the truth. Knowledge without obedience is of little value.
4. POLITICAL POWER, LIKE ALL OTHER FORMS OF POWER, IS A MATTER OF STEWARDSHIP AND SERVANTHOOD. Any power may be prostituted to our own advantage. God gives power as a stewardship, and when it is abused, He may take it away, just as he removed power from Solomon in the person of his son, Rehoboam (1 Kings 11:9-11). We have an interesting word of counsel given by Solomon’s elderly and wise advisors to his son, Rehoboam:
Then they spoke to him, saying, “If you will be a servant to this people today, will serve them, grant them their petition, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever” (1 Kings 12:7).
Rehoboam had not learned that leadership is really servanthood, a lesson which our Lord needed to teach His disciples centuries later (cf. Mark 10:35-45). Power, political or otherwise, is given by God so that we may serve others. When we forget this we are in danger of being set aside.
5. GOD IS MORE CONCERNED WITH THE FUNCTION OF GOVERNMENT THAN WITH ITS FORM. Sometimes I have the feeling that we Americans who are evangelicals think that God looks with some kind of special favor on our form of government. Personally, I do not know of any better form of government. I surely would not prefer the governmental structures to which most of the world’s population are subject. But let us learn from Proverbs that while form is important, it is the function of government which is primary. It is possible to have the right form, but the wrong function. Government is to function so that the righteous are rewarded, the evil are punished, and the rights of the helpless are protected. Unfortunately (in my opinion) evangelical Christians have seemingly been more interested in the economic or political philosophy of an administration, while it has been the unsaved who have placed more emphasis on justice and the care of the helpless. Function is more important than form in the Book of Proverbs.
6. THERE IS ONLY ONE IDEAL FORM OF GOVERNMENT--THAT GOVERNMENT WHICH OUR LORD WILL ESTABLISH OVER THE EARTH WHEN HE RETURNS TO RULE IN RIGHTEOUNESS. Proverbs would remind us that whatever form of government we may live under, God is still in control of it and of history.
The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes (21:1).
God is in control, no matter what form a government may take. Whatever the form of government, it will be imperfect, both because it seeks to rule over men who are sinners and because the men who rule are sinners. The only perfect system of government is that which our Lord Himself will establish when He returns to rule over the earth in perfect righteousness. But I must warn you that He is not only coming as Savior, but as Judge of the earth. If you have not yet come to trust in Him by faith, I urge you to submit to the King who is coming soon, Jesus Christ. He died for your sins on the cross of Calvary. By trusting in Him, you may have eternal life, and, indeed, you may reign with Him forever. What a day that will be!
In his book entitled Killing Giants, Pulling Thorns, Chuck Swindoll has reminded us of this statement, etched faintly on a gray slate tombstone on a windswept hill in an English country churchyard:
Beneath this stone,
a lump of clay,
Lies Arabella Young,
Who, on the twenty-fourth of May,
Began to hold her tongue.
If there is any failure universal among mankind, it is the misuse of the tongue. Little wonder that one of the most frequently discussed subjects in the Book of Proverbs is the use of the tongue. If our problem with the tongue is a common one, it is also an especially crucial one. For one thing, the tongue is capable of achieving either great good or great evil. Furthermore, the words we speak cannot be taken back once spoken. It is impossible to undo damage done by the tongue.
The beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out (17:14).
A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle (18:19).
Finally, James suggests in his epistle that the key to the control of our entire body is to be found in the control of the mouth:
For we all stumble in many ways. If any one does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they may obey us, we direct their entire body as well (James 3:2-3).
Our approach in this study will be to view words as we do money, something we may either invest wisely to the benefit of others and ourselves, or squander foolishly to the detriment of all. We will begin by considering the power of words, for good or evil. Then we will seek to learn from the Book of Proverbs when words are foolishly wasted and when they are wisely invested. Finally, we will study the way to use words well.
Unlike money, words are easily come by. None of us is ever faced with a shortage of words. As a result, we may be inclined to underestimate the impact which words may have on ourselves and others. Proverbs reminds us of the potential of words for both good and evil.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit (18:21).
There is an old saying which we used to repeat as children. It goes something like this: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can never hurt me.”
In my estimation there is very little truth in that saying. The fact is that the wounds caused by sticks and stones heal, but the wounds caused by cruel or thoughtless words may run deep and last a lifetime. On the other hand, words which are wisely spoken can be a source of life, comfort, and healing.
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence (10:11).
With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, But through knowledge the righteous will be delivered (11:9).
By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, But by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down (11:11).
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18).
Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad (12:25).
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death (13:14).
A truthful witness saves lives, But he who speaks lies is treacherous (14:25).
A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit (15:4).
A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word! (15:23)
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (16:24).
A worthless man digs up evil, While his words are as a scorching fire. A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends (16:27-28).
These Proverbs remind us of the power of the spoken word to do good or evil to others. Other Proverbs teach us that the words we speak have a great effect on the speaker as well as the hearer. Words wisely spoken bring blessing to the speaker while words that are foolishly spoken bring difficulty and disaster.
An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, But the righteous will escape from trouble. A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, And the deeds of a man’s hands will return to him (12:13-14).
Truthful lips will be established forever, But a lying tongue is only for a moment (12:19).
From the fruit of a man’s mouth he enjoys good, But the desire of the treacherous is violence. The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin (13:2-3).
In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will preserve them (14:3).
He who has a crooked mind finds no good, And he who is perverted in his language falls into evil (17:20).
A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul (18:7).
With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied with the product of his lips (18:20).
We reap what we have sown with our lips. When our words are spoken wisely, others benefit as well as ourselves. When we use words foolishly or maliciously, both others and ourselves are hurt.
Just as there are things which money cannot buy, so there are things which words cannot accomplish. Proverbs enumerates some of the weaknesses of words.
1. WORDS ARE INEFFECTIVE WHEN THEY ARE SPOKEN BY A FOOL.
Like the legs which hang down from the lame, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools (26:7).
Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools (26:9).
2. WORDS ARE INEFFECTIVE WHEN THEY ARE SPOKEN TO A FOOL.
The mind of the intelligent seeks knowledge, But the mouth of fools feeds on folly (15:14).
An evil doer listens to wicked lips, A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue (17:4).
A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding Than a hundred blows into a fool (17:10).
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words (23:9).
3. WORDS ARE INEFFECTIVE WHICH ARE NOT ACCOMPANIED BY APPROPRIATE ACTION.
In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty (14:23).
A slave will not be instructed by words alone; For though he understands, there will be no response (29:19).
4. WORDS ARE INEFFECTIVE THAT ARE NOT IN ACCORDANCE WITH TRUTH.
Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, So a curse without cause does not alight (26:2).
If you say, “See, we did not know this,” Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?
And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work? (24:12)
When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, For there are seven abominations in his heart. Though his hatred covers itself with guile, His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly (26:25-26).
5. WORDS ARE INEFFECTIVE UNLESS THEY ARE SPOKEN AT THE PROPER TIME AND IN THE PROPER WAY.
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him (27:14).
One of the principle differences between a wise man and a fool is that the wise man exercises restraint in his use of words, while the fool has a hair-trigger lip.
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise (10:19).
A prudent man conceals knowledge, But the heart of fools proclaims folly (12:23).
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (15:28).
He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding (17:27).
A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (18:2).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles (21:23).
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him (29:20).
There are a number of reasons why the wise restrain themselves in the use of words.
1. RESTRAINT IS NECESSARY IN ORDER TO HEAR WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS TRYING TO SAY.
He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him (18:13).
The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge (18:15).
The first to plead his case seems just, Until another comes and examines him (18:17).
2. RESTRAINT IS NECESSARY IN ORDER TO ALLOW ANY ANGER OR STRONG EMOTION TO PASS.
A fool’s vexation is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor (12:16).
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly (15:1-2).
He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding (17:27).
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back (29:11).
3. RESTRAINT GIVES THE WISE TIME TO CONSIDER WHAT TO SAY AND HOW TO SAY IT.
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (15:28).
There are many uses of the tongue which are clearly forbidden in Proverbs. Let us briefly review them.
1. A BREACH OF CONFIDENCE.
He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter (11:13).
Argue your case with your neighbor, And do not reveal the secret of another, Lest he who hears it reproach you, And the evil report about you not pass away (25:9-10).
2. COMMITMENTS MADE IN HASTE.
My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, Have given a pledge for a stranger, If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, Have been caught with the words of your mouth, Do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; Since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, Go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor. Do not give sleep to your eyes, Nor slumber to your eyelids; Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hunter’s hand, And like a bird from the hand of the fowler (6:1-5).
It is a snare for a man to say rashly, ‘It is holy!” And after the vows to make inquiry (20:25).
3. CONTENTION AND STRIFE.
Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel (20:3).
4. ATTEMPTING TO CORRECT OR INSTRUCT A FOOL.
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words (23:9).
When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest (29:9).
5. CURSING PARENTS.
He who curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness (20:20; cf. 30:11).
6. FALSE TESTIMONY.
A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who tells lies will not escape (19:5).
A rascally witness makes a mockery of justice, And the mouth of the wicked spreads iniquity (19:28).
7. FLATTERY.
A lying tongue hates those it crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin (26:28).
He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor Than he who flatters with the tongue (28:23).
A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps (29:5).
8. GOSSIP AND SLANDER.
The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body (18:8).
He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip (20:19).
The north wind brings forth rain, And the backbiting tongue, an angry countenance (25:23).
9. LYING AND DECEPTION.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put devious lips far from you (4:24).
A worthless person, a wicked man, Is the one who walks with a false mouth, Who winks with his eyes, who signals with his feet, Who points with his fingers (6:12-13).
10. SELF-ACCLAIM.
Like clouds and wind without rain Is a man who boasts of his gifts falsely (25:14).
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips (27:2).
There are many times when words are called for and where silence would be far from golden. Let us consider some of those times when the godly are obligated to speak.
1. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN IT IS SOVEREIGNLY GOVERNED BY GOD.
The plans of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord (16:1).
I would caution the reader not to conclude that God is to be held responsible for every word which proceeds from the lips of men. The point of this Proverb, as I understand it, is that while we have a particular plan in mind, what we may say, if divinely directed, is from God. This is especially true when we are witnessing to our faith or when we are defending it.
“And when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not be anxious beforehand about what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour; for it is not you who speak; but it is the Holy Spirit” (Mk. 13:11).
2. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN IT DISPENSES WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE.
The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so (15:7).
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (31:26; cf. 31:1).
3. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN WE SHARE OUR FAITH.
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death (13:14).
A truthful witness saves lives, But he who speaks lies is treacherous (14:25).
Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, 0 hold them back (24:11).
4. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN WE CORRECT THE WISE.
Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold Is a wise reprover to a listening ear (25:12).
Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy (27:5-6).
He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor Than he who flatters with the tongue (28:23).
5. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN WE SPEAK UP FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE AFFLICTED.
Open your mouth for the dumb, For the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy (31:8-9).
6. OUR SPEECH IS LIKE GOLD WHEN WE MINISTER TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS BY OUR WORDS.
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18).
Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad (12:25).
A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit (15:4).
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (16:24).
As a student in seminary I was very critical of the courses offered in homiletics--the art (and science) of preaching. What difference did it make how something was said, as long as what was said was true to the Word of God? After listening to the sermons of some of my classmates I learned the error of my thinking. Just as Proverbs teaches us, the right content said in the wrong way or at the wrong time may have no benefit to the listeners and may even do them harm.
1. A WORD WELL PUT WILL BE WELL TIMED.
A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word! (15:23)
Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances (25:11).
2. A WORD WELL PUT WILL BE A WORD WHICH IS RIGHTLY APPLIED AND GRACIOUSLY SPOKEN.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly (15:1-2).
The wise in heart will be called discerning, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness (16:21).
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds persuasiveness to his lips (16:23).
He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend (22:11).
By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone (25:15).
In summarizing, let me attempt to review what we have learned from Proverbs on the use of our words by pointing out several passages in the New Testament which teach the same principles.
“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; and anything beyond these is evil” (Matt. 5:37).
Our Lord was not so much condemning vows as He was stressing the need for absolute truthfulness in what we say. The only reason why people require us to take an oath is because they have learned not to take our words at face value. Jesus taught that we should be so characterized by truthfulness in our speech that no other statement is required of us. Jesus, like Proverbs, taught that there is no place for falsehood and deception in the life of those who are godly and wise.
“You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil. And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned” (Matt. 12:34-37).
Like Proverbs, Jesus taught that a man’s character is revealed by his words. The Pharisees had attributed the power of our Lord to Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons (Matt. 12:24).Jesus warned His critics that they should be more careful in their use of words, since it was by their own words that they would be judged.
All too often we, like the Pharisees of old, are quick to speak without thinking. We will be judged for every idle or careless word. Let us not use words thoughtlessly if we are to be judged for what we say. Words have great power, for good or evil, for the listener as well as for the speaker.
This you know, my beloved brethren. But let every one be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves (James 1:19-22).
We have learned in Proverbs that the wise are those who economize in the use of words. The wise person is slow to speak, considering the character of the one to whom he speaks. He does not lash out in anger, and his words are timely and well chosen. James reminds us of this same principle. Perhaps when James says, “This you know” (v. 19) he is actually alluding to the teaching of Proverbs. In addition to warning against a hasty, angry retort, James reminds his readers that while we should be cautious in the use of our words, we should be quick in our response to the Word of God. Apart from obedience to the Word, it does us no good.
“Not every one who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 7:21).
What use is it, my brethren, if a man says he has faith, but he has no works? Can that faith save him? (James 2:14).
Our Lord and James both taught that mere words never saved anyone. A profession alone, without any practical outworking, was evidence of a dead faith, not a living and saving faith. Perhaps there was a time when you made a profession of faith, my friend, but it was only that--a profession. Professions do not save, only a living and vital faith--a faith which brings about change in your way of living. Do not deceive yourself into thinking that mere words will save you. Those who professed to know the Lord in Matthew 7 and who even accomplished great works in His name were those whom our Lord said He never knew (Matt. 7:22-23).May your faith become more than a mere profession, by placing your trust in Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God, who died in your place on the cross that you might live eternally.
Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person (Col. 4:5-6).
But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to every one who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence (I Peter 3:15).
Our words can be used of God to bear witness to our faith. We should be ready to speak when the occasion presents itself. Our words should be gracious and yet stimulate others along spiritual lines of conversation.
Perhaps there is no better summary of the use of our words than Paul’s teaching in Ephesians 4:29:
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.
May God enable us to use our lips as an instrument of His grace.
I once had a college professor who told of the most honest funeral sermon he had ever heard. The man who had died was a drunk, a failure as a father, and a miserable husband. Everyone listened intently to the words of the preacher, wondering what he could possibly say that was good about this drunkard. To their surprise, the preacher leaned over the pulpit and spoke directly to the widow. His message to her was clear and simple--“Don’t make the same mistake twice!”
Many of the marriages in the Bible are less than ideal. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, has always struck me as being cranky and bossy. Job’s wife offered little comfort in the midst of his trials. In fact, it might have been considered a blessing for her to have been taken in one of the disasters that wiped out his children and his flocks.
One of the most pathetic marriages in the Old Testament is that of Abigail and her husband Nabal, described in 1 Samuel 25. She was wise and beautiful, while he was harsh and evil (1 Sam. 25:3). As his name indicated, he was a fool (25:25). I doubt that Abigail had much to say in the choice of this man as her husband. The tragedy of this marriage is turned around in the account recorded in 1 Samuel 25, however, for the Lord takes the life of Nabal and Abigail becomes David’s wife.
For the one unfortunate enough to have married a fool, Proverbs offers no promises of an easy life or a quick cure. The assumption throughout the book is that a person must live with his or her mistake in marriage. Divorce is never mentioned as the solution for a foolish decision concerning a mate. The picture painted of such a marriage is deliberately bleak.
One might think that the authors of Proverbs were somewhat cynical about marriage, having much more to say about its dangers than its delights. We must remember, however, that this book was written primarily to young men (“my son,” cf. 1:8; 2:1; 3:1) who had not yet married. One purpose of Proverbs is to urge young men to consider their life’s mate carefully, since the consequences of a wrong choice are both painful and permanent.
Marriage is the norm so far as Proverbs is concerned. The single life is nowhere presented as an alternative (such as Paul does in 1 Corinthians 7). Marriage is viewed as a divine institution, and it is God who gives a man a virtuous wife.
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord (19:14).
A man’s choice of a life’s mate can be his making or his breaking. be either a delight or a disaster.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord (18:22).
It is better to live in a desert land, Than with a contentious and vexing woman (21:19).
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand (27:15-16).
The potential of a wife for good or evil is summed up in the words of this proverb:
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones (12:4).
One purpose for dealing with the dangers of marriage is to warn those who would enter into marriage casually, without serious consideration of the consequences of their decision. When one enters into a marriage, he makes a vow, a vow which he is obligated to keep.
It is a snare for a man to say rashly, “It Is holy!” And after the vows to make inquiry (20:25).32
Most of us have already entered into the commitment of marriage. I would gladly marry my wife again, if I had it to do over. Many are not so fortunate. For those of us who are married, what does Proverbs have to teach us, since we have already made our choice? While we cannot retrace our steps, we can certainly strive to become the kind of mate which Proverbs holds before us as the biblical ideal.
Women may initially be distressed by the fact that Proverbs seems to emphasize the need for a young man to give thought to his choice of a wife, but gives no counsel to the woman about her choice of a godly husband. But this is to be expected of a king who is teaching his sons about the decisions they must make in the next few years of their life. We shall also see that Proverbs has much to teach young women about the kind of man they should marry. After all, if Proverbs is a book intended to teach young men how to become godly leaders, it has the fringe benefit of instructing young women about the kind of man to marry--a man who will become the godly leader of their home.
This study is intended to encourage those who have not yet married to make their choice carefully and on the basis of character. For those who are already married, we should not focus our attention on those areas in which our mate fails to measure up, but rather seek to better understand and apply what Proverbs teaches us about how to be a godly husband or wife.
The approach of this study will be to consider the various lines of evidence which give us a composite picture of the character of the godly mate. There are verses which deal directly with the husband and the wife. Some of them present positive character traits, while others are presented in contrast (e.g., the “contentious wife”).We also have indirect instruction to consider. For example, Proverbs has much to say about the characteristics of a good friend, as well as warning us concerning those with whom we should not associate. It is my intention to consider these in order, that we might better understand those qualities which we should seek in a mate (if we are not yet married) and as a mate (if we are already married). It must be remembered as we consider the character traits of a godly mate that godliness can only be found in a maturing believer. Although an unbeliever and an immature
Christian may exhibit some of these characteristics, in the final analysis he cannot be a godly individual and therefore the single person must avoid him or her as a life partner. May God guide us in this crucial study.
In the Book of Genesis there is an interesting contrast between the selection of Rebekah as Isaac’s wife (chap. 24) and Jacob’s choice of Rachel, rather than Leah (chap. 29). Abraham sent his oldest and most trusted servant to select a wife for Isaac, within the guidelines he laid down (24:2-4). The test which the servant wisely devised (24:13-14) was one which revealed the character of the young woman--she would be a servant at heart, willing to give water to the stranger and his camels.
Jacob, on the other hand, chose a wife for himself. He was unwilling to marry Leah, the older daughter, even though that was the accepted custom in those days (29:26). Jacob favored Rachel over Leah, not because of her character, but because of her looks and her personality (29:17). Later developments seem to establish the fact that Leah was God’s preference while Rachel was Jacob’s. Leah outlived her younger sister, for example. Leah and her handmaid bore twice as many children as Rachel and her maiden. Leah bore Judah, the one through whom Messiah would come, and Levi, the leader of the priestly tribe. It was Leah who was buried in the cave of Machpelah, beside Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah (49:31), while Rachel was buried along the way to Bethlehem (35:19).
What Genesis teaches us in practice, Proverbs teaches us in principle--a man who would marry well will choose his life’s mate on the basis of her character, not on the basis of her looks or her personality.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (31:30).
We shall now seek to discover the character traits of a godly mate.
Proverbs is most specific with regard to the qualities of the godly wife. These are highlighted by contrasting the moral flaws of a woman who is far from virtuous.
1. A GODLY WIFE IS GODLY. Godliness begins with a proper relationship to God. A godly wife is, first and foremost, a woman who fears God.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (31:30).
In contrast, the woman to avoid is the one who does not know or fear God. She is sometimes referred to as a “strange woman,” that is a foreigner, one who has no knowledge of the God of Israel (cf. 2:25; 5:3,20; 7:5). She is actively evil and has no grasp of the way of the Lord.
She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it (5:6).
To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress (6:24).
While perhaps not synonymous with a fear of God, the godly wife is referred to as virtuous or excellent (12:4; 31:10). This seems to describe the moral excellence of the godly wife, a result of her godliness.
2. A GODLY WIFE IS WISE. You will recall that wisdom is personified as a woman in the Book of Proverbs (cf. 1:20-33; 8:1-36; 9:1-6). So also the ideal wife is characterized as a woman of wisdom.
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands (14:1).
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (31:26).
The opposite of the godly woman is the woman of folly.
The woman of folly is boisterous, She is naive, and knows nothing (9:13).
As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion (11:22).
3. A GODLY WIFE HONORS HER HUSBAND. A man who has married a godly wife has a wife who will bring honor to him. She is truly a helper to her husband.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones (12:4).
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack, of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life (31:11-12).
An ungodly wife humiliates and harasses her husband. She is not a helper but a hindrance to her mate. She is “as rottenness in his bones” (12:4). By her haranguing, she makes him miserable:
A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping (19:13).
4. A GODLY WIFE IS GRACIOUS. One reason honor is given the godly woman is that she is known for her graciousness.
A gracious woman attains honor, And violent men attain riches (11:16).
The ungodly woman is spoken of in very unbecoming terms. She is vexing, due to her contentious nature:
It is better to live in a corner of a roof, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman (21:9; cf. 25:24).
It is better to live in a desert land, Than with a contentious and vexing woman (21:19).
5. A GODLY WIFE IS FAITHFUL TO HER HUSBAND. This is most clearly shown by contrast with the woman of folly who is an adulteress.
To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words; That leaves the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God (2:16-17).
To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress (6:24).
“Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses For the man is not at home. . . ” (7:18-19).
While it is not stated explicitly, it is implied and assumed that a godly wife is one who maintains sexual purity. She is a woman who is virtuous or excellent (31:10), in whom her husband has complete trust (31:11). She does her husband only good and not evil (31:12).She teaches her son the virtues of sexual purity (31:3). Certainly she is a woman of sexual purity.
Some may not realize that the traits of a good friend relate to the character of one’s mate, but a little reflection shows why this must be so. The breaking of the marriage covenant is a sin against a companion, a close and intimate friend.
That leaves the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God (2:17).
The term rendered “companion” here is used elsewhere (cf. 16:28; 17:9; Ps. 55:13) for the closest of friends.33 If my mate is not a friend, what is she? And yet some have foolishly chosen to marry one who fails to qualify even as a friend. We will briefly summarize the qualities of a good friend, considering also the characteristics of those with whom we should avoid associating.
1. A GOOD FRIEND IS FAITHFUL. Fair weather friends are numerous, and Proverbs mentions these (cf. 14:20; 19:4,6,7). But a true friend is a person who is still there even when the going gets tough.
A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity (17:17).
A man of many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (18:24).
Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away (27:10).
2. A GOOD FRIEND REBUKES US WHEN NECESSARY. There are things which may need to be said to a friend that are not easy to say. I am disappointed by the sentimentalism that pervades our friendships so that we flatter our friends when we need to frankly rebuke them. A true friend is the one who is honest enough to tell us what we need to hear, rather than to flatter us.
A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps (29:5).
Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy (27:5-6).
Why is it, then, that we seem to think that a wife should never criticize her husband? Is it not better to be corrected by our closest friend than by an enemy? Sometimes the kindest thing a wife can do for her husband is to tell him that his idea is absolutely ridiculous--in a gracious way, of course.
3. A GOOD FRIEND IS THOUGHTFUL AND TACTFUL. A good friend is sensitive to our needs and speaks in such a way that we are encouraged and enriched. His sensitivity is demonstrated in his understanding that gaiety and goodwill is not always appropriate nor appreciated. “It matters not only ‘what’ we say, but ‘how,’ ‘when’ and ‘why’ we say it.”34
Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart (25:20).
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him (27:14).
4. A GOOD FRIEND SHARPENS US. Not only do we need to be criticized when necessary, but sometimes we need to be probed or stretched in our thinking. A good friend does not allow us to become intellectually stagnant, but prods us on to higher and greater thoughts.
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another (27:17).
A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out (20:5).
Isn’t this true to life? Don’t you seek to develop friendships with those who will challenge your thinking and present you with new avenues of thought? Why should one of these friends not be your mate?
5. A GOOD FRIEND OFFERS US WISE COUNSEL. Those whom we choose as friends should be marked by wisdom and thus have godly counsel to offer.
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend (27:9).
Think back for a moment to the account of David, Nabal, and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25. David was angered because of the ungracious words of Nabal to his young men. He was determined to wipe out every male in the house of Nabal (25:13,34).Abigail quickly formulated a plan to appease David’s anger and then spoke words of wise counsel, pointing out how detrimental David’s actions would be to his future rule as king (25:28-31). David’s reply indicates his appreciation of the wisdom of her words:
Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed, and from avenging myself by my own hand” (1 Sam. 25:32-33).
I would simply point out that David was indeed wise to marry a woman who could offer such wise counsel. And we would do well to marry one who offers wise counsel as well. Why is it, then, that husbands seem to think that the biblical instruction concerning the submission of the wife to her husband precludes her offering him wise counsel, if offered tactfully and in a submissive spirit? Let us learn from David and Abigail.
While we should seek those with the above-mentioned qualities to be our friends, we must also shun those who have characteristics which would hinder our walk in wisdom. If we are not to associate with the following kinds of people, certainly we ought not to marry them either. Here are some character traits which would seem to disqualify a person as a partner in marriage:
1. WE OUGHT NOT ASSOCIATE WITH A FOOL.
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm (13:20).
Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge (14:7).
2. WE OUGHT NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE AN UNCONTROLLABLE TEMPER.
Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Lest you learn his ways, And find a snare for yourself (22:24-25).
3. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO ARE EVIL:
Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them; For their minds devise violence, And their lips talk of trouble (24:1-2).
He who is a partner with a thief hates his own life; He hears the oath but tells nothing (29:24).
4. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ONE WHO IS A REVOLUTIONARY.
My son, fear the Lord and the king; Do not associate with those who are given to change; For their calamity will rise suddenly, And who knows the ruin that comes from both of them? (24:21-22)
There are some who are always out to change things--society, government, other people. It is not wrong to try to improve things, but the revolutionary is more bent on removing than improving. The revolutionary wants change for the sake of change, not change for the sake of improvement. Incidentally, some seem bent on finding a mate who needs improving--a sort of life-long project. Proverbs does not recommend it.
5. WE SHOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEIR APPETITES.
He who keeps the law is a discerning son, But he who is a companion of gluttons humiliates his father (28:7).
Some time ago I was arrested by the words of the Centurion in the Gospel of Matthew:
“For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, “Go” and he goes, and to another, “Come” and he comes, and to my slave, “Do this” and he does it” (Matt. 8:9, emphasis mine).
Up until this time I had always understood the Centurion to say that he was a man of authority, not a man under it. Perhaps this is some kind of euphemism. But I believe that it is a biblical principle (and one that is evident in life) that no man is fit for authority who has not learned to be subject to it. After all, even our Lord learned obedience (Heb. 5:8).
I believe that Proverbs teaches us that we can tell much about the character of a person by observing his relationship to his parents. Note these passages:
A wise son accepts his father’s discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke (13:1).
A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is prudent (15:5).
A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother (15:20).
A foolish son is a grief to his father, And bitterness to her who bore him (17:25).
He who assaults his father and drives his mother away Is a shameful and disgraceful son (19:26).
Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old (23:22).
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you (23:24-25).
There is a kind of man who curses his father, And does not bless his mother (30:11).
All of these passages point to the fact that a good son is a godly man, and a godly man makes a good husband. Any man who is not a good son will not be a good husband.
There is one more proverb which has to do with parents. Frankly, I find it troublesome, but it informs us that we must seek to learn something of the home life of our mate before we marry him--or her:
Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: Under a slave when he becomes king, And a fool when he is satisfied with food, Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress (30:21-23).
There is a common thread which runs through each of these four unbearable situations--one gets something which he is unaccustomed to and which he will find difficult to handle once he has it. A slave has only known authority over him, yet when he becomes king his authority is absolute. His temptation will be to abuse his newly acquired authority. A fool would normally know only poverty and deprivation. With a full stomach he will hardly know how to behave. Certainly much of his incentive will be lost. A maidservant who now has authority over her mistress will be inclined to get even by making life miserable for her former mistress. She who once felt abused and oppressed will give her mistress a taste of oppression. So too with an unloved woman. Since she has never known genuine love, she may very well presume upon it and by trying to drink this new cup to the full make her husband regret the day he vowed to be faithful in his love toward her.
I realize that some of you have come from homes in which there was little or no love. You may wonder if this proverb condemns you to a life of loneliness. I think not. Certainly God’s grace is sufficient for every need. But it should warn us that those who have not known love in their childhood years will have a tendency to abuse it in marriage. A mate who has not been loved by parents should not take this out on the marriage partner. And the one who marries a mate who has been unloved should be sensitive to the kind of problems such a childhood produces. The sins of the fathers (and mothers) are passed along, to later generations (Ex. 20:5).
Throughout the Book of Proverbs we have seen the teaching of the father and the mother, instructing and warning the child. Unfortunately, that is not the way every home operates. I am sure most of us are not entirely happy with the way we are raising our children. This means that we may learn a great deal about our mate by giving thought to the home environment in which he or she was raised. Proverbs implies that the influence of the home has a great deal to do with a child’s success in life as a partner in marriage. Here is a factor we cannot afford to overlook.
Initially it seemed that Proverbs had little to say to the woman who sought to discern the qualities of a godly husband. I have come to see that this is not at all the case. In general, we can say that a woman should seek a man who is wise. Since we have already studied the characteristics of the wise, we will only summarize them here. These seem especially applicable to marriage:
1. A wise husband is kind and compassionate (12:10).
2. A wise husband is honest (29:24).
3. A wise husband is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27).
4. A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19).
5. A wise husband exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32).
6. A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4).
7. A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27).
8. A wise husband is willing to be corrected (even by his wife) and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1).
9. A wise husband is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).
10. A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3).
11. A wise husband is forgiving (19:11).
12. A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).
13. A wise husband is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23).
14. A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker (17:1; 18:1,19).
15. A wise husband has control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).
16. A wise husband is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).
17. A wise husband has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).
18. A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20).
19. A wise husband fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).
20. A wise husband is not a jealous man (27:4).
21. A The wise husband has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).
As I look at these characteristics of the wise I am reminded of the qualifications laid down by the apostle Paul for elders and deacons in 1 Timothy 3.I find a great similarity between the qualifications for church leaders and the characteristics of the wise in Proverbs. But should this come as a surprise? After all, isn’t Proverbs written to young men who will be leaders, instructing them about wisdom? In this sense 1 Timothy 3 only summarizes what Proverbs has taught in greater detail.
For prospective mates the implications of this message should be obvious. Your choice of a life’s partner should be made on the basis of character, not charm or outward beauty. In general, your mate should manifest the characteristics of one who is wise. More specifically, a godly husband or wife will not be the kind of person with whom Proverbs warns us not to associate, but will evidence the qualities of a good friend. Anyone who chooses to disregard the teaching of Proverbs on marriage will live to regret it.
I find it distressing to admit that much of the force of the warnings of Proverbs concerning marriage has been nullified by a fact of 20th century Christian life--divorce has become an acceptable alternative to an unhappy marriage, even among Christians. Even Christians do not tend to heed the warnings about a contentious mate because they believe that if their marriage does not work out they can simply walk away from their commitment and try again. That, to me, is a very sad commentary on contemporary Christianity.
Why is it that our teaching on marriage, divorce, and remarriage differs so greatly from that of our Lord? If you will recall, it was the Pharisees who asked Jesus if it was lawful for a man to divorce for any cause at all (Matt. 19:3). Our Lord’s answer to this question was to emphasize the rule, not the exception, and therefore the stress was on the permanence of the marriage union (19:4-9). The response of the disciples of our Lord is significant: “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry” (19:10). Our Lord did not correct this conception, but confirmed it (19:11-12), and in so doing demonstrated His agreement with the teaching of the Book of Proverbs. Let us be careful to seek to preserve the purpose of God for marriage and not to promote the exceptions. In preserving the permanence of marriage we will once again be able to urge men and women to choose their mates carefully, and then to live in such a way as to keep their marriage vows.
There is also a lesson for us to learn from Proverbs about the matter of personality. I believe many Christians are more concerned about their personality than their character. Worse yet, I fear that some have tended to confuse or equate the two. Some women tend to think that the ideal husband and spiritual leader is the one with the “salesman-type” personality--he is outgoing, aggressive, and assertive. Some women who are married to men who have a less aggressive nature are tempted to look down on their husbands because they are not domineering enough.(They should talk to some of the women who have the assertive husbands.) Some men think that the ideal “submissive” wife is the woman who is shy and passive. In both cases, personality has been confused with character. God is not nearly as concerned with our personality as He is with our character. Aggressive men are not necessarily better leaders, and certainly they may not be more godly leaders, nor are passive women necessarily more submissive.
Let us learn that our character is far more important than our outward beauty or our personality. Is this not what Peter was teaching the women, who are often more sensitive to outward appearance?
And let not your adornment be external only--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, and putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God (1 Pet. 3:3-4).
In Proverbs we are told that charm (personality?) is deceitful and that beauty is vain (the NIV says “fleeting”).Our personality may be deceptive, for we may be both charming and spiritually carnal. And beauty is temporary, but character is eternal. Let us seek to be godly.
As parents, we need to teach our children to seek godly character, for themselves, and in those with whom they would associate. We must teach them, by word and deed, the permanence of the marriage commitment and the delights of marriage when both partners seek to honor God in their marriage. We need not look far for the many examples of failures in marriage and the disastrous consequences for all.
There are those reading this message who, for one reason or another, may never marry. There are reasons for this, some of which are commendable (cf. 1 Cor. 7). Let me simply say that the qualities of a good mate are also the qualities of a godly man or woman. Just as not all men will be a elders or deacons in the church, yet every Christian should strive to meet the qualifications which are laid down for those who would hold such offices (1 Tim. 3); so godly character is befitting every Christian. Let us seek it for ourselves, and encourage other believers to seek it also. And let us demonstrate to the lost that godliness and wisdom are worth the cost, and are available only to those who fear the Lord.
32 Cf. also Numbers 30:2; Psalm 15:4.
33 Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), pp. 49-50.
Each year we witness the coronation of another Miss America. For millions of little girls and young ladies Miss America is a model woman. As Bert Parks used to sing, “There she is, Miss America, There she is, your ideal . . .” For many, then, the ideal woman is young, single, sexy, and sophisticated. The ideal woman of Proverbs 31 is quite different. She is married and we are not told her age or whether she is pretty. The most important quality of the ideal woman is that she is godly.
The woman of Proverbs 31 is truly remarkable. She does everything well. In fact, it seems to me that she does everything too well, so much so that she comes dangerously close to being a woman workaholic. I fear that a man who seeks to find a wife who measures up to the standard of Proverbs 31 will likely never marry. And those women who compare themselves with the woman of Proverbs 31 may be overcome with guilt and feelings of inadequacy. Lest this should happen, let me make a few observations which should help us in this study.
First, this description of the woman in Proverbs 31 is one that is carefully composed. It was not written by a husband who had forgotten it was Mother’s Day and hastily penned a few words of praise after picking up a dozen roses on a street corner. This piece of Hebrew poetry is an acrostic, a poem in which the first letter of each verse begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Another acrostic, which is more evident in the English text, is Psalm 119, where all the lines of each section begins with the same letter of the Hebrew alphabet (aleph, beth, gimel, etc.). In either case, Proverbs 31 or Psalm 119, the passage is a literary masterpiece, very carefully constructed.
Second, the woman described is an ideal wife and is not necessarily intended as a goal for every woman. A model is to be imitated, but an ideal will never be reached. This means that the wife of Proverbs 31 is not necessarily a standard by which a man should measure his bride-to-be. Neither is this woman a pattern for every wife to strive to follow. She is a woman of godly character, and in this both men and women should seek to follow her example. But beyond this she is a woman of great ability. She is a wife, a mother, a businesswoman, an investor, a farmer, a manufacturer, and so on. I know of few women--or men for that matter--who can do all these things well, and I doubt that the author intended for us to try to succeed at all these various enterprises. We certainly should not feel guilty because we fail to do everything well which this woman did.
Third, this piece of poetry was not written primarily to women, but to men. This is not a poem written by a husband to his wife, but rather a poem about a godly woman written to men. While this passage does provide young men with guidance in the choice of a godly wife, its main purpose is to exhort married men to appreciate the worth of their wives and to give them the freedom to function in accordance with their gifts and talents and in keeping with their God-given role as a wife. This role, I believe, is much broader than most men are accustomed to accept.
What this means, then, is that this passage was written more to instruct men to become better husbands than it was to help women become better wives. Certainly we find an example for wives to follow here, but much more than this we find instruction for the man who would be a more godly husband. As we can now see, there is a lesson here for both husbands and wives. We will not only learn of the character of the godly wife, but also about the responsibility of the godly husband to enable his wife to reach her full potential as a wife. Hopefully none of us will be the same after we have carefully considered this exciting and challenging text.
When we considered the characteristics of a godly mate in a previous lesson, I chose not to dwell on the passage at hand. Since we have already given considerable thought to the character of the godly woman, let me simply review the qualities of the ideal wife which this passage teaches us:
1. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A GODLY WOMAN. This woman is praised, not for her charm or her beauty, but for her fear of God (v. 30).
2. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A WOMAN OF UNUSUAL CHARACTER. She is described in verse 10 as an “excellent” (NASB) wife. In the NIV she is said to be a “wife of noble character.” She is further described as being “clothed with strength and dignity” (v. 25, NIV).The implication of verse 10 is that a woman of her quality is rare. With women of this quality in such short supply, one must diligently search to find such a wife.
3. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A WOMAN WHO IS COMPLETELY TRUSTWORTHY. In verse 11 we are told that her husband has complete trust in his wife. Rather than being a detriment to her husband, she is his helper, bringing him nothing but good (v. 12).
4. THE IDEAL WIFE IS DILIGENT AND HARD-WORKING. This woman is no sluggard. Repeatedly she is described in terms of her diligence and strength. She works with her hands (v. 13).She rises early and retires late (vv. 15, 18). Unlike the sluggard (6:6-11), she prepares for the future (vv. 21, 25). In our society she would not sit around the house watching soap operas, for she has no idle time (v. 27).
5. THE IDEAL WIFE IS WISE. The virtuous woman speaks with wisdom (v. 26). Beyond this, she has a very practical wisdom, for she is able to make wise investments (vv. 16, 18).
6. THE IDEAL WIFE IS MARKED BY HER GENEROSITY. This woman has concern for the poor and the needy, giving of her income to minister to their needs (v. 20).
7. THE IDEAL WIFE IS GRACIOUS IN WHAT SHE SAYS. Notice in verse 26, that the teaching of this woman is called the “teaching of kindness.” I understand this to mean that she instructs in a gentle way, and that her teaching is encouraging and edifying.
These are some of the character qualities of the ideal wife. We have seen all of these before in Proverbs, for they should be the mark of everyone who is wise: man or woman; husband, wife, or single person; adult or child. The ideal wife is a woman of wisdom, a woman who fears God and who manifests godliness in her doings.
Some women (and an even greater number of men) seem to think that the world of the wife is exceedingly small, restricted largely to dirty dishes and diapers. It is not too surprising that many wives have felt frustrated in their role as wife and mother. Is their ministry confined only to doing the housework? Is their world defined by the walls of their home? Proverbs 31 widens the horizon of what a godly wife and mother ought to be encouraged to do, if she is both able and willing. Let us consider some of the spheres of activity in which the ideal wife moves freely and confidently.
1. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A PURCHASING AGENT FOR THE FAMILY.
She looks for wool and flax, And works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar (vv. 13-14).
We all know how much a family consumes. The ideal wife contributes to the family by purchasing the necessities of the family. She looks, I assume, for the highest quality at the lowest price. She does not buy her groceries on the spur of the moment at the Seven-Eleven store on the corner, but she searches out the finest of goods, going some distance, if necessary, to get both quality and economy.
2. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A MANAGER. She is a capable leader and administrator.
She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household, And portions (or, prescribed tasks, margin, NASB) to her maidens (v. 15).
She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness (v. 27).
3. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A PROVIDER OF INCOME. There are numerous jokes about the wife who grabs for her husband’s wallet when payday comes around. The ideal wife may reach for her husband’s wallet, but it is to put something into it, not take something out. This woman contributes to the family finances.
She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard (v. 16).
She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night (v. 18).
I assume that it is at least partly out of the income of the woman of Proverbs 31 that her family’s needs are met. For example, she purchases material and provides her family with clothing that is both functional (warm, lasting) and tasteful, enhancing the appearance of the wearer.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet (v. 21).
There is some discussion about the word “scarlet” here.35 If this is indeed the term intended by the author, the emphasis would be on the expensiveness of the clothing. If it is a word which means something like “double,” the stress would be on the warmth of these clothes. I am inclined to think of the clothing she provides for her family as being both suitably elegant and functionally warm.
In addition to clothing her family, she also makes fine garments for herself. I believe this is not to indulge herself as much as it is to enhance the standing of her husband. Her attire should be appropriate for one whose family is prosperous and whose husband is influential in the community.
She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple (v. 22).
The NIV translates the first line of verse 22: “She makes coverings for her bed,” which is most likely,36 leaving the reference to her personal clothing to the second line of the verse.
4. THE IDEAL WIFE IS AN INVESTOR. Not only does this noble woman produce income to enhance the family finances, she also invests some of this money in order to gain additional income.
She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard (v. 16).
The traditional stereotype is that the “pretty little woman” has no brains for business. How could she possibly understand the stock market, or have a grasp of the pros and cons of buying gold or real estate? But this woman did make investments, and it is obvious that she did well at it.
5. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A PRODUCER, A MANUFACTURER OF GOODS.
She makes garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen (v. 24).
While it may be that she herself makes all that she sells to the tradesmen, I am inclined to think that her business may have grown to the point where she utilized employees in this manufacturing venture. In this case, what may have begun as a small undertaking may have grown into a larger business, supervised by this incredible woman.
6. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A CHARITABLE PROVIDER. The income of the godly wife is used for a variety of purposes. Some is reinvested, much is spent in providing for family needs, but a generous portion is given to the poor.
She extends her hand to the poor; And stretches out her hands to the needy (v. 20).
7. THE IDEAL WIFE IS A TEACHER.
She open her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (v. 26).
Much, perhaps most, of the teaching of the ideal wife would be directed to her children. An example of this kind of teaching is found in the first 9 verses of chapter 31. Here the godly mother of King Lemuel (v. 1) instructs her son concerning those things which would hinder a godly reign. But the teaching of the ideal wife may very well have extended beyond her household, especially to other women in the community who could gain from her wisdom.37
8. THE IDEAL WIFE PROMOTES HER HUSBAND’S STANDING AND LEADERSHIP IN THE COMMUNITY.
Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land (v. 23).
To my knowledge very few people read Proverbs 31 in the light of what it teaches husbands. May I remind you that this passage, like the entire Book of Proverbs, is not addressed to women, but to men. The writer frequently says, “my son,” not “my daughter.” I would like to attempt to be consistent with the book when we come to this passage, by focusing my attention where I believe the author intended it to be--on the man.
There is no way that a woman who lived in ancient times would ever have had this kind of freedom and responsibility without support and encouragement from her husband. The character of the godly woman is to be attributed to the woman and to the grace of God in her life. But the freedom she had to function in so many different aspects of life must be attributed to her husband. Let me draw your attention to the kind of man this “ideal husband” had to be in order for his ideal wife to be what she was described to be.
1. THE IDEAL HUSBAND TRULY APPRECIATES HIS WIFE.
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (v. 10).
These are not the words of a cynic or a skeptic. The writer is not saying, “A woman of character cannot be found,” but, “A woman of my wife’s character is seldom found.” Proverbs 31:10-31 begins and ends with praise for the rare qualities of the godly woman. We cannot expect to be the right kind of husband until we first come to appreciate the qualities of the wife God has given us.
2. THE IDEAL HUSBAND HAS COMPLETE CONFIDENCE IN HIS WIFE’S FAITHFULNESS AND CONFIDENCE.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain (v. 11).
A man may have complete confidence in the purity of his wife, and yet be doubtful about her ability to bring him gain. This verse is not referring to the husband’s confidence in the moral purity of his wife, but in her proficiency as a money-maker and business woman.38 Her husband could leave the matter of purchasing a piece of property in her hands without looking over her shoulder.
3. THE IDEAL HUSBAND EXPRESSES HIS FAITH IN HIS WIFE’S ABILITIES BY GIVING HER THE FREEDOM TO FUNCTION WITHOUT UNNECESSARY HINDRANCES. It is amazing to me how men can gripe about the myriad of governmental regulations which plague business and industry today, and then burden their wives with so many rules and guidelines that they find it almost impossible to do anything well. The faith of the ideal husband, as described in verse 11, is expressed in the freedom that is granted the wife to go about her business without constant supervision or needless restrictions. Faith is expressed in freedom. Incidentally, that is why the Christian life, the life of faith, is not one that is regulated by countless rules.
4. THE IDEAL HUSBAND NOT ONLY APPRECIATES THE VALUE OF HIS WIFE, BUT GIVES HER THE PRAISE SHE DESERVES.
Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates (vv. 28-31).
Verse 31 instructs the husband to give his wife the praise she deserves. Her works are to praise her in the gates. Now who, I would ask, is at the city gates? It is, of course, her husband (v. 23). The godly husband is at the gates of the city, in large part, because of the godly wife who is behind him. It is there, in the gates of the city, in public, that the godly husband should praise his wife.
I want to begin this conclusion with a word of warning. I always dread the fact that some are going to hear only what they want to hear and thereby justify their sinful actions. I see several ways in which this passage can be abused, which I would like to warn you about in advance. The first is that a frustrated wife may misuse this text to justify her autonomous attitudes and actions. The woman who misuses this text will focus only on the freedom of the wife. She will feel justified in doing whatever she pleases without consulting her husband or caring what he thinks. The ideal wife of Proverbs 31 aggressively engaged in her activities because her husband granted her the freedom to do so, not because she willfully took these matters into her own hands in spite of her husband. This text does not command the wife to take on these responsibilities, nor does it commend the woman who would do so contrary to her husband’s will. This text urges husbands to give their wives more freedom, but it does not teach the wives to take it if it is not given them.
If the first warning has to do with the overly aggressive wife, the second warning concerns the passive husband, who would love for his wife to take care of his obligations for him. This kind of husband burdens his wife with all the tasks he does not want, so that he may go through life with hardly a care. I must admit being troubled by the fact that the husband seems to be sitting in the city gate, taking life easy, while his wife is working her fingers to the bone to keep the family going. I think many men would love for their wives to assume the entire burden of providing for the needs of the family so that they can lead or minister without any concern. I do not believe this is biblical. While the wife did help her husband in many ways, she did not do his job for him. I cannot conceive of the husband living a life of ease, philosophizing at the city gate, while his wife agonized over business decisions and the like.39 She was a helper to her husband, but she did not do his work for him. Let us not use this passage, men, to excuse our own laziness by delegating our work to our wives while we live the easy life.
The third warning is to those who are not married. This passage concerns the ideal wife, not necessarily the ideal woman. While marriage was certainly the norm in the days Proverbs was written, let me remind you of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7. There he urged single women to remain single, so that the efforts which are spent meeting the needs of a husband and family might be devoted entirely to the Lord. In my opinion, the single woman is as free to serve the Lord as the woman in Proverbs 31 is to serve her husband and family. In Paul’s mind (1 Cor. 7:34-35) she is even more free. Let single Christians learn of their freedom to serve God from Proverbs 31, without feeling that they are somehow second-class citizens in God’s kingdom because they are not married.
This passage in Proverbs has a message for every saint. For parents, it warns us that we are not providing our children with a realistic goal when we give them dolls which are perfectly shaped and have beautiful faces. We are subtly stressing charm, not character. We are often teaching them that they are to be fulfilled by seeking their own interests and forsaking those that have to do with family commitments or personal sacrifice. Let us continually seek to establish the qualities of the godly woman as the goal toward which our girls should strive. And let us teach our sons that this is the kind of woman who makes married life such a blessing.
Husbands, let us be open to some radical changes in our thinking about what an ideal husband is like. I know of many women who are frustrated in their role as wife and mother, largely because of the failure of their husbands to fulfill their role in the marriage. In many cases women rightly recognize that their husbands restrict them from fully utilizing their gifts and abilities. Often this is due to the husband’s being threatened by his wife’s competence. He is frightened by the thought that his wife can do some things better than he can, so he carefully fences off these areas, even though his wife desires to serve him in this particular task and would do a better job. If Proverbs 31 teaches us anything, it is that the ideal wife has much more freedom than most of us as husbands have been willing to grant. We need to do a great deal of thinking about our role as managers, for a good manager always utilizes the abilities of others to the fullest possible degree.
This text has overturned my thinking, for I have been forced to recognize that the wife, in her activities, does nearly everything her husband does. Those tasks which I have always considered to be masculine are not necessarily so. The ideal wife earned income and had a great deal of control over how it was utilized. She ventured freely into the business world and found great success. She served as a manager in the home.
The main difference between husbands and wives, as I now perceive it, is not that men do some things, while women do the rest (usually what the men don’t want to do anyway), but that wives do what they do under the authority of their husbands. If the wife is a manager, she manages under the authority of her husband. She has great freedom and authority, but it is always freedom within the confines of the authority of her husband, her head.
Is this not true in the spiritual life? While Christ is our head, we have been given a great deal of freedom and responsibility. Just as God does not direct us in all the particulars, but gives us principles to guide us, so the husband should exercise his headship over his wife. Our wives should feel no more stifled under our leadership than we do under the headship of Christ.
The second reason for the frustration of married women is that they are often doing many things well, but they receive little or no recognition for it. Their contribution to the home is not appreciated, and they feel unfulfilled. Proverbs makes it clear what we are to do about this--we are to publicly give praise to our wives for the things they do well. Let us not grow slack in this vital area. While our wife should not seek praise for herself, let us give it to her with gratitude and sincerity.
Having emphasized the freedom which was given to the ideal wife in Proverbs 31, let me also remind you that there are still limits. In the first place, it was the husband who exercised public leadership in the gates of the city (v. 23), not the wife. The role of the wife greatly enhanced the leadership of her husband, but she did not lead in the capacity of her husband. Second, the leadership of the wife was not described as her having authority in the area of Israel’s worship. Women, in the Old Testament, were not priests, nor were they given leadership over men in public worship. While we must be quick to stress the freedoms given the godly woman, we must also be honest about those areas reserved for men only, not because women were incapable of leading, but because of divine principles governing the roles of men and women in spiritual leadership.
Even though certain restrictions are prescribed for women, this does not mean that women can make no contribution. For example, it was the husband who ruled in the city gate. But in Proverbs 31:1-9 it is the godly mother who, in the training of her son who will be a leader, shapes the impact he will have. The mother who rocks the cradle does, as someone has said, shape the world. I believe this is the sense of what Paul was teaching in 1 Timothy 2:15. While the woman may not exercise public leadership in the church, she can raise godly children who may become godly leaders of the future.
Someone will no doubt wonder about the implications of this passage for the working wife. We should learn from our text that it is not wrong for a wife to earn money to contribute to the family’s income, nor is it wrong for her to be engaged in business ventures. I believe an important principle underlying this passage is that the efforts of the wife, in every instance, should contribute to the well-being of the family. Any employment the wife might have which is detrimental to the spiritual and moral well-being of the family, in my estimation, would be wrong. This principle applies as much to the husband as it does to the wife.
To say that it is categorically wrong for a wife to work would fly in the face of this text. And to say that the work this wife performed was solely done at home would also be stretching the text.40 To work only to provide materially for our children, but at the expense of their spiritual growth, would be contrary to biblical principles. The children of this godly woman, as well as her husband, were blessed by her activities. We know that she was noted for her gracious teaching (v. 26). What this woman did, she did as an act of obedience to God and as a sacrificial service to her family. She found her fulfillment in serving God and her family, not in seeking her own interests.
Let us all seek to serve God and others, giving of ourselves in the process, whether as a wife, or a husband, or a single saint. And let us do it all to the glory of God and by His grace.
35 “Scarlet: if this is the right translation, the point will be that it denotes high cost. She can afford the best, and by implication, the fully adequate. But the word has a plural ending, which is abnormal for ‘scarlet’; so that both form and sense arouse suspicion. The consonants allow the reading double (AVmg), i.e., double thickness, which is supported by Vulg. and LXX (the latter joining it to the next verse).” Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), p. 184.
36 The word “coverings” of Proverbs 31:22 is the same word found only in 7:16. There it is used of the bed of the adulterous woman. This tends to reinforce the translation of the NIV, over that of the NASB. It would seem to me that there is a very important lesson to be learned from verse 22. If the wise husband is urged to rejoice in the wife of his youth and be captivated by her love (Prov. 5:19), why should the wise wife not encourage her husband in this by making her bedroom as attractive as that of the harlot? Here, my friend, is an “extravagance” well worth the cost.
37 “Kindly instruction is lit. instruction of kindness (RV, law of kindness), instruction, to her children, servants, and friends, which springs from a kindly, friendly nature: though firm in her administration, as becomes a business woman, she is not domineering or harsh.” C. H. Toy, A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Book of Proverbs (Edinburgh: T & T Clark, 1959), p. 547.
38 “. . . the reference is not to the husband’s affection, but to his confidence in his capacity as manager of household affairs.” Ibid., P. 543.
39 Toy seems to tend toward this when he writes, “The husband takes no part in the domestic administration--he is occupied with public affairs.” Ibid., P. 542.
40 Someone will surely wonder how the teaching of 1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:5 relates to the question of the working wife. In 1 Timothy 5:14 Paul commands younger widows to marry, to have children, and to “manage their homes” (NIV). The rendering of the NASB, “keep house” is somewhat vague, leaving room for the idea that the wife should stay home and that housework is her primary duty. The KJV is in agreement with the NIV, rendering this expression, “guide the house.” The idea here is that the wife should devote herself to the task of managing the home. Housework is not the issue here, but home management. This is quite clearly the sense of the word oikodespoteo.
The second passage, Titus 2:5, is rendered “busy at home” (NIV), “keepers at home” (KJV), or “workers at home” (NASB). The difficulty with this passage is that some Greek texts differ as to the word which is used here. One possibility is oikourgos, a combination of oikos, house, and ergos, work. This term should likely be rendered “working at home.” The second option is the Greek word oikouros, meaning “staying at home.” In either case we must be careful to interpret this text in the light of the culture of that day, rather than our own. In those days, women did not work outside the home, unless their profession was prostitution. Notice that Paul warned the widows about being idle and going from house to house as a busybody (1 Tim. 5:13).Since women didn’t work outside the home in those days, the women were faced with the temptation of wasting time, going about the houses of other women, spreading gossip and doing little good. The command to “stay at home” or to “work at home” was given in this context. The solution to idle gossip was to stay at home and to devote oneself to the task of contributing to the family by managing the home well.
It seems to me that we must therefore be very careful about applying these two passages too quickly or too broadly to the subject of the working wife. While they may apply in principle, they cannot be taken out of context, as I once used them, and some continue to do.
Who is Responsible for a Child’s Character?
When my wife and I attended a baby shower several months ago we came across this statement in a scrapbook which almost perfectly reflects my feelings as I approach this topic:
“I once had no children and six theories on child-raising.
Now I have six children and no theories on child-raising.”
My wife and I have six children, one of whom is with the Lord. It is absolutely amazing how having five children softens the dogmatism with which I once spoke on the subject of child-training. My personal preference would be not to speak on this subject at all, for many years. Yet Proverbs has so much to say on the subject. Furthermore, many of you have young children and find this one of the most urgent concerns of your life.
Before we begin our study let me caution you that no one is ever completely objective about this matter, nor is anyone fully authoritative. Certainly children cannot be objective, for they are the recipients of the process of child-training. I have heard some very authoritative words on this subject from those who do not have children and who are not even married. While they can certainly share the Scriptures with us on this subject, they cannot speak out of their own experience; and wisdom in Proverbs is never an armchair acquaintance with the truth but a practical skill in applying it.
If you think I am implying that since I have five children I am thereby an authority on child-raising, let me be the first to correct you. If simply having many children made one an authority on child-training then anyone with a large family could be called on for expert advice. But, to tell the truth, all we might be able to speak about would be bearing children, not raising them. I want to confess to you at the outset that I do not know nearly all I should about child-raising, and a great deal of what I do know I am not practicing as I should.
Those whose children are grown are not always the most authoritative experts either. Those who have been fortunate enough to have their children all turn out well may be inclined to take too much credit for the results. There is not one parent who is able to take the credit for children who grow up to be godly, for that is the result of the grace of God. Any successes in our family life are in spite of many failures on the part of the parents.
Another problem is that there are godly parents whose children have been a disappointment and a heartache who may have something worth saying about child raising, but they are reluctant to speak and we are even more reluctant to hear from them. We want to hear from those who are successful, not from those who have tasted the bitter pill of bearing a foolish son or daughter. If this is your mentality, then you might as well stop reading now, for Solomon, the primary contributor to the Book of Proverbs, seems to have failed badly in raising his son Rehoboam to be a wise man (cf. I Kings 12).
The question I am raising is this: “Who is responsible for the character of our children?” I have already suggested that parents do not have as much control over the lives of their children as some teachers have taught. There are here, as in every other area of biblical doctrine, two extremes to which we can go. On the one hand, we may conclude that the spiritual life of a child is totally the responsibility of the parent. This is not only unbiblical, but tends to greatly distort the parenting process. On the other hand, we may go to the opposite extreme of fatalism, whereby we conclude that we have no responsibility for the spiritual life of our children. This leads to complacency and disaster. My desire is to approach the subject of the responsibility of parents and their children from the perspective of the Book of Proverbs, and the entire revelation of God in the Bible. I believe we will find that the truth lies between these two extremes, and that our study can relieve much guilt and frustration on the one hand, and yet inspire more diligence and prayer on the other. Let us look then at the question of responsibility in the rearing of our children. For what does God hold parents accountable?
While it is not what I want to hear, I am forced to concede that Proverbs teaches the painful possibility of raising a son or daughter who is foolish and shameful.
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother (Prov 10:1).
A wise son accepts his father’s discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke (Prov 13:1).
A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises, his mother (Prov 15:20).
A foolish son is a grief to his father, And bitterness to her who bore him (Prov 17:25).
He who robs his father or his mother, And says, “It is not a transgression,” Is the companion of a man who destroys (Prov 28:24).
There is a kind of man who curses his father, And does not bless his mother. There is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, Yet is not washed from his filthiness. There is a kind--oh how lofty are his eyes! And his eyelids are raised in arrogance (Prov 30:11-13).
Some might be willing to admit that some parents could raise a foolish child, but refuse to concede that a godly parent could do so. But I find it hard to see why an ungodly parent would be grieved at raising an ungodly son. When Peter spoke of Lot’s vexation at the sin of his city, he spoke of him as a righteous man, whose “righteous soul was vexed” (2 Peter 2:7-8). It is the righteous who are grieved by unrighteousness. Let us press on.
We should begin by acknowledging that parental failure does have an adverse effect on both parent and child. In the words of Proverbs,
The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother (Prov 29:15).
Yet having said this I must also point out that the emphasis of Proverbs is that it is not the parent who is ultimately responsible for the character of the child. The foolish child has chosen to pursue life along the path of folly. The penalty which the foolish son will bear is that which he deserves. In chapter 1 both father and mother have taught their son about the two paths of life, and have warned of the danger of joining wicked men in doing evil. Yet after this parental instruction, wisdom speaks concerning the fate of those who will nevertheless choose to walk in the way of the fool:
“They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof. So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, And be satiated with their own devices. For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, And the complacency of fools shall destroy them” (Prov 1:30-32).
The individual responsibility of the child for his choices in life is taught elsewhere in Proverbs:
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it (Prov 9:12).
The foolishness of man subverts his way, And his heart rages against the Lord (Prov 19:3).
So we find in Proverbs that the foolishness of a man is not the fault of his parents, but the result of his own decision, the reflection of his own heart. While parents may suffer grief at the foolishness of a son, they are not said to suffer from guilt, for he alone must bear the consequences of his decision to walk in the way of folly.
Further evidence of the responsibility of the child for his character is found in the first nine chapters of Proverbs. While chapters 10-31 teach us about the characteristics of the wise, chapters 1-9 emphasize the choice which is necessary in order to enter the way of wisdom. If there is one word which summarizes the mood of these early chapters it is “appeal.” Both father and mother urge their son to heed their teaching, to seek wisdom as a thing of great value.
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, And do not forsake your mother’s teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head, And ornaments about your neck (Prov 1:8-9).
My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you, Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God (Prov 2:1,5).
My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments (Prov 3:1).
Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding (Prov 4:1).
Every appeal of these early chapters of Proverbs is based on the same premise: a father and mother can teach a child about wisdom and urge him to pursue it, but they cannot make the decision for him. Indeed, a child of wise and godly parents may choose to play the fool in spite of their diligent efforts to train him otherwise.
Wanting desperately to believe that parents who are diligent in training their children to be godly are guaranteed good results, many turn to Proverbs 22:6 for biblical support. While it is my personal preference to have such a guarantee, I do not believe the passage teaches any such thing. I should first say that no matter what interpretation we arrive at, Proverbs does not give us promises as much as maxims. For example, while diligence is essential for prosperity, diligence does not guarantee prosperity in Proverbs. Even if Proverbs taught that diligence in child training produced godly children (which we have seen is not necessarily so), it is no guarantee that the faithful efforts of godly parents always produce godly children.
In the estimation of many great Bible scholars, Proverbs 22:6 does not refer to moral instruction at all, but rather spells out a principle of education: Training suited to the student will not be wasted effort. The NASB renders this verse,
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. But the Hebrew text literally reads, Train up a child according to his way, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Since I intend to deal with this passage more extensively in future lessons, let me simply point out several observations about this text which are relevant to our study.
1. THE IMPERATIVE IS “TRAIN UP,” WHICH SHOULD SERVE AS A CLUE TO THE EMPHASIS OF THE PASSAGE. Parents are commanded to train up their children. The emphasis here seems to fall on the need for child training, not the nature of it.
2. THE EXPRESSION “WAY” ALMOST ALWAYS HAS REFERENCE TO THE NATURE OF A CREAURE, OR ITS HABITUAL PATTERN OF CONDUCT:
There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the middle of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid (Prov 30:18-19).
It is pressing this term very hard to render it “the way he should go.”
3. THE TERM “DEPART” IS NOT A TERM WHICH IS USED OF APOSTASY. In Proverbs it is most often employed with reference to departing from evil (cf.Prov 3:7; Prov 13:19; 16:17).
These and other factors incline many scholars to conclude that this passage does not promise godly children to parents who are faithful in raising them in a godly home. Speaking with reference to the view which we have rejected, Dr. Otto Zockler writes:
Yet although the third [view] presents the highest standard and has been generally adopted and used where little account is made of the original, it has the least support from the Hebrew idiom.41
With this Derek Kidner agrees:
The training prescribed is lit. “according to his (the child’s) way,” implying, it seems, respect for his individuality and vocation, though not for his self-will (see verse 5, or 14:12). But the stress is on parental opportunity and duty.42
Proverbs is thus consistent in teaching us that there is no guarantee that godly parents will have godly children, even though they may be completely faithful and diligent to their parental duties. Kidner comments:
Many are the reminders, however, that even the best training cannot instill wisdom, but only encourage the choice to seek it (e.g. 2:lff.). A son may be too opinionated to learn (Prov 13:1; cf. Prov 17:21). A good home may produce an idler (Prov 10:5) or a profligate (Prov 29:3):he may be rebel enough to despise (Prov 15:20), mock (Prov 30:17) or curse (Prov 30:11; 20:20) his parents; heartless enough to run through their money (Prov 28:04), and even to turn a widowed mother out of doors (Prov 19:26).While there are parents who have only themselves to thank for their shame (Prov 29:15), it is ultimately the man himself who must bear his own blame, for it is his attitude to wisdom (Prov 29:3a; 2:2ff.) his consent given or withheld (Prov 1;10) in face of temptation which sets his course.43
The teaching of Proverbs is consistent with that of the entire Old Testament. While parents are commanded to train up their children in the way of the Lord (cf. Deut. 6), they cannot determine the spiritual destiny of their children. As distressing as it may be, godly parents had ungodly offspring, and it was not necessarily a failure on the part of the parents.
Isaac bore Esau, a man who disdained spiritual things (cf. Heb. 12:16). Noah’s son Ham, having been spared from the destruction of the flood, fell under the curse of his father (Gen. 9:20-27). Manoah and his wife knew the shame of a son who had much power from God, but was foolish--Samson (cf. Judg. 13-16). Eli’s two sons were worthless, godless men (1 Sam. 2:12), but Eli was not held accountable for their unbelief, only his failure to restrain them (1 Sam. 3:12-14). Samuel’s sons were also wicked (1 Sam. 8:1-3). While I have always thought that Samuel failed in the same way as his predecessor Eli, the text nowhere attributes any blame to Samuel for the spiritual condition of his sons. This, of course, does not mean that he could not have failed; it only points out that the wickedness of his sons was viewed as their sin, not
Throughout the Old Testament I find that there is no one-to-one correlation between the spiritual condition of parents with that of their children. Godly parents can have wicked children. Wicked parents had godly children. The spirituality of the parents did not predetermine the spiritual condition of their children.
For example, recall the biblical record of the kings of Israel and Judah. Jehoshaphat walked righteously in the way of his father, Asa (1 Kings 22:41-44). Ahaziah, son of Ahab and Jezebel, followed in their wicked way (1 Kings 22:51-52). Asa, son of wicked Abijam, did not follow in his father’s way, but did what was right in the sight of God (1 Kings 15:9-15).Ahaz, son of Jotham, did not do right as his father had, but walked in the evil way, just as the kings of Israel (2 Kings 16:1-4).
That each individual is responsible for his own sins is seen in the Law, for no parent was to be punished for the sin of his son, nor was the son to be put to death for the sin of his father.
“Fathers shall not be put to death for their sons, nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin” (Deut. 24:16).
It might appear that the sins of the fathers would inevitably become the sins of the sons from this Old Testament text:
“You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me” (Deut. 5:9).
The principle which is laid down here, however, is not that the sons are destined to commit the sins of their fathers, but that our children do suffer when we sin. The consequences of our sins are unfortunately born, in part, by our children.44 Both Daniel and Nehemiah, men who lived in the period of Israel’s captivity, acknowledged that the people of God had been cast out of the promised land because their fathers had rebelled against God (Neh. 9; Dan. 9).It was not just for the sins of the fathers that they suffered, however, but for their own sins as well, as both Nehemiah and Daniel reveal in their prayers (cf. also Isa. 65:7; Jer. 3:25). Thus Daniel could say, in truth, both “we have sinned” (Dan. 9:8) and “they have sinned” (Dan. 9:7-8).
The prophet Ezekiel corrected a serious misapplication of the principle of Deuteronomy 5:9:
Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, “What do you mean by using this proverb concerning the land of Israel saying, ‘The fathers eat the sour grapes, But the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As I live,” declares the Lord God, “you are surely not going to use this proverb in Israel any more. Behold, all souls are Mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine. The soul who sins will die. But if a man is righteous, and practices justice and righteousness, . . . if he walks in My statutes and My ordinances so as to deal faithfully--he is righteous and will surely live,” declares the Lord God (Ezek. 18:1-5, 9).
The Israelites of old were pre-Freudian in their thinking. They believed that they were only being punished for the sins of their fathers. Because of this they had become fatalistic and complacent. What good was it to be righteous when they were going to be punished (for the sins of their fathers) anyway? Ezekiel taught the principle of individual responsibility: if a man is righteous, he will live, but if he sins, he will suffer the penalty. Man will either be rewarded or punished for his own actions, not those of his parents.
To avoid any misunderstanding of the principle of individual accountability Ezekiel gave some specific applications of his teaching. A righteous man may have a wicked son, for whose sins he is not accountable. Only the son is responsible for his sins (Ezek. 18:10-13). A wicked man may have a righteous son. The son will surely live, but the wicked father must die (vv. 14-18). The principle is clearly stated in verse 20:
‘The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.”
Ezekiel carries this principle even further. If we are not rewarded or punished on the basis of the deeds of our parents in the past, neither are we bound or blessed by our deeds of the past. The one who has lived wickedly may repent and live righteously and be forgiven of his past deeds (vv. 21-23).So also the one who once lived righteously, but has turned to the way of evil cannot rest on his past righteousness, but will be punished for his present sins (v. 24). We are never given the option to use the past as an excuse for the present, either with regard to the deeds of our parents or regarding our own actions.
No truth is more clearly or consistently taught in the Old Testament than this: while the parent is responsible for his own conduct and character, he is not ultimately responsible for the character of his child.
The teaching of the New Testament is entirely consistent with that of the Old regarding the responsibility of the parents for the character of their children. Christian parents are responsible for the instruction and correction of their children.
And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).
While parents should train their children in the ways of God, they cannot be held accountable for the decisions their children make concerning their relationships with the Lord. One evidence of this is what God requires of church leaders concerning their children. Certainly God’s standards for elders and deacons would not be lower than those for other Christians. In 1 Timothy 3, elders and deacons are to be evaluated in terms of their skill in managing their homes, as well as in keeping their children under control, but not for their salvation.
He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?) . . . Let deacons be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households (1 Tim. 3:4-5,12).
Some may wonder if Titus 1:6 does not contradict what I have just said, for it appears that this text requires that an elder’s children be saved.
Namely, if any man be above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.
Is this passage not quite clear? Does an elder not have to be evaluated by the spiritual condition of his children? Bengel thought so: “He who could not bring his children to faith, how shall he bring others? “45
The question must really be reversed though. Can any Christian be held condemned for his failure to lead a person to Christ, or be praised for having caused one’s conversion? The truth is that no one can cause another to be saved. While we are commanded to bear witness to our faith, we are not commanded to bring about the conversion of particular individuals. Would our Lord have satisfied Bengel’s requirements? Did He save all to whom He ministered? And what of Judas? Did Paul successfully convert everyone to whom he witnessed? Did all of Paul’s converts remain steadfast?
We cannot bring anyone to faith. Only God can give men faith and new life. We can only witness to the truth of the gospel and urge men to accept Christ. Whether it is our children, our parents, or our neighbors, we cannot be held responsible for the conversion of any. We are only responsible to live godly lives and to bear witness to our faith. Why then could any elder be judged by the faith of individual members of his family?
How then can we explain Titus 1:6? I believe the explanation is quite simple. First, we must ask how such an important requirement, if it is a requirement, could have been omitted in Paul’s epistle to Timothy. Second, we need only to look in a Greek lexicon to discover that the Greek word pistos is most often employed with the meaning “faithful” in the sense of inspiring our faith or confidence (cf. Titus 1:9, “the faithful word”). That is the way the translators of the King James version understood it, rendering the word “faithful.” Third, we should also recognize that the phrase following the word faithful is a further explanation of it. How are the “faithful children” of the elder to conduct themselves? They are not to be accused of dissipation or rebellion. I prefer the rendering of the NIV here, “not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient,” a qualification which agrees with that of 1 Timothy 3.
The implications of this lesson are far-reaching. Let me first speak to those who have not yet come to faith in Jesus Christ.
1. YOU CANNOT REST ON THE FAITH OF YOUR FATHERS. I know there is a song entitled, “Faith of Our Fathers,” but let us not fail to grasp its meaning for us. The faith of our fathers was a holy faith, but it is not our faith. The object of their faith and ours is the same--Jesus Christ, but their faith is not our faith until we personally come to accept Christ as the One who died in our place at Calvary, and whose righteousness is ours, resulting in the forgiveness of sins and eternal life. It doesn’t matter whether your father was a preacher, a missionary, or a church leader. The only way you will be saved is by your personal decision to trust in Christ. This is why the first nine chapters of Proverbs urge the child to walk in the way of wisdom.
As someone has well said, God has no grandchildren. Each generation must decide to trust in Christ or to reject Him. In the Old Testament God made a covenant with Abraham (Gen. 12:1-3), but He personally reaffirmed that promise with each new generation: with Isaac (26:24), with Jacob (28:13-15), and with his sons (cf. 49:lff.; Ex. 20:lff.; and all the Old Testament promises to Israel). Faith is an individual matter. You cannot inherit salvation from your fathers, for it is a gift from God to those who call on Him for salvation.
2. YOU DARE NOT BLAME YOUR PARENTS OR YOUR PAST FOR YOUR UNBELIEF. Many explain their decision to reject Christ in terms of the past: they knew too many hypocrites; their parents were too legalistic; their past is too sinful to forgive. None of these excuses will impress God. You will never experience the torments of Hell because of someone else’s sin, but only because of your personal rejection of God’s provision of salvation. And, lest you would somehow blame God, He does not delight in the condemnation of any. He delights to forgive men of their sins.
“Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked,” declares the Lord God, “rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?” (Ezek. 18:23)
3. YOU MUST DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE EXPRESSIONS OF CHRISTIANITY AND ITS ESSENCE. The Israelites of old began to confuse their ceremonial observances of the law with genuine faith. So many men and women today think that they are saved by going to church, giving when the offering plate is passed, serving on a committee, or being baptized. While God does prescribe how we should conduct ourselves as Christians, it is not our conduct that saves us, but Christ. Too many of our young people have seemingly fallen from faith when they went off to college or left home, but the truth is that they only conformed to the family code, they never adopted it for themselves, nor did they see a personal relationship with Christ as the foundation of it all. Let us be very careful to distinguish between form and substance when it comes to our faith.
The primary principle which underlies this message is this: PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE TO BE GODLY AND TO TRAIN THEIR CHILDREN IN THE WAY OF GODLINESS, BUT THEY CANNOT MAKE THEIR CHILDREN GODLY. Let me mention several applications of this principle.
1. GODLY PARENTS WHO GRIEVE OVER THE OUTCOME OF THEIR CHILDREN CAN DO SO WITHOUT GUILT. If the Bible teaches us anything it certainly teaches that a godly parent may have children who are not godly. This means that the spirituality of the parent cannot be measured by the spiritual condition of the child. If your child has not chosen to follow in the way of the Lord, it is ultimately the responsibility of your child. You can not make a child be godly, only God can. You can be godly and yet raise a godless child. Don’t assume guilt for which you are not responsible.
If you are like me, you are very aware of your failures as a parent. No one I know of in the Bible or in my experience has been a model parent. We all have failed. If our children have chosen to follow God, we dare not take credit for the grace of God in their lives. And when we have failed we may find comfort here too, for God has provided forgiveness for our parental sins just as He has for all others. And we can find comfort that our failures at parenting will not be the reason our children are godless, just as our successes will not be the reason they are godly. For every sin there is forgiveness. Let us find comfort as parents that the unpardonable sin is not the sin of failing as a parent.
2. WHILE WE NEED NOT WALLOW IN GUILT OVER THE FAILURES OF OUR CHILDREN, WE DARE NOT BE COMPLACENT EITHER. Ezekiel found it necessary to rebuke the people of God for their complacency toward sin. They excused their own sinfulness by blaming it on their forefathers. We should not be complacent just because we cannot save our children. We are commanded by both the Old and New Testaments to train up our children in the knowledge of God (cf. Deut. 6:6-9,20-25; Eph. 6:4). While we will not have to give account for the failure of our children, we will have to answer for our own sins as parents. We may not be able to save our children, but we can teach them God’s Word, urge them to trust in Christ, and pray for their salvation.
The fact that we cannot save our children should in no way discourage diligence in following through with our parental responsibilities. Although God is sovereign in salvation, we are commanded to evangelize. While we cannot save our children, God can. We should fervently pray to Him, knowing that He does not desire any to perish (2 Peter 3:9; of. 1 Tim. 2:4). And let us be warned by these words of our Lord:
“And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea” (Mark 9:42).
3. ASSUMING MORE RESPONSIBILITY THAN WE SHOULD FOR THE OUTCOME OF OUR CHILDREN CAN GREATLY HINDER THE PARENTING PROCESS. Assuming too much responsibility for our children can be as destructive as assuming too little. If we believe that parents are primarily responsible for the spiritual condition of their children, then we will also conclude that our spirituality as parents can be measured by the spirituality of our children. This is dangerous and devastating.
For example, let’s suppose that the father of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) is an elder in your church. What would you have expected him to do when his son asked for his money, knowing what he would do with it? The father would not dare let his child fail, for it would be considered a failure of the father. And yet this father is not only a model for us to follow as parents, he is also a picture of God Himself as He deals with us.
You see, it was only by failing that this “prodigal son” came to himself. It was after wasting his money and having to live with the pigs that he came to see the folly of his way. Then he repented and returned to his father. Which son, do you think, was wiser and more godly--the son who never dishonored his father, but who had never come to understand grace (like the Scribes and Pharisees of our Lord’s day), or the son who sinned and repented? This is precisely the question which our Lord asked the hypocritical religious leaders of His day:
“But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, ‘Son, go work today in the vineyard.’ And he answered and said, ‘I will, sir’; and he did not go. And he came to the second and said the same thing. But he answered and said, ‘I will not’; yet he afterward regretted it and went. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The latter.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you that the tax-gatherers and harlots will get into the kingdom of God before you” (Matt. 21:28-31).
It would seem to me that we are often too quick to judge the spirituality of children, when only time will tell. We seem to praise outward appearances of obedience and conformity, rather than to seek a spirit of obedience which may result in repentance, even after foolishness and sin. We need to give God time to work in the lives of our children, and to expect Him to work as much through their failures as He does through their obedience. After all, isn’t that how He works with us?
41 Otto Zockler, “The Proverbs of Solomon,” Commentary on the Holy Scriptures, by John Peter Lange (Grand Rapids: Zondervan [reprint], 1960), vol. V (of orig. vol. X of 0. T.), p. 192.
42 Derek Kidner, The Proverbs (Chicago: Inter-Varsity Press, 1964), p. 147.
44 Deuteronomy 5:9 teaches that our children do suffer consequences from the sins of their parents, but this is a far cry from saying that children will inevitably follow in the same sinful path of their parents. The child of an adulterer is not irreversibly destined to become a liar just because the father is an adulterer. The reverse of Deuteronomy 5:9 is also true. The child of righteous parents will experience blessing because of the parents righteousness: A righteous man who walks in his integrity--How blessed are his sons after him (Prov. 20:7).
45 Bengel, as cited by A. R. Fausset in his commentary on the epistle of Titus. Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset, and David Brown, A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., [photolithoprinted] 1967), VI, P. 517.
The Nature of a Child
I have a friend who is now a surgeon in the South. After finishing medical school and residency he was assigned to an Air Force base in California in the Mojave Desert. There he took up a pastime I very much enjoy--riding a motorcycle. On one particular occasion he was riding alone in the desert and had an accident. As a result his leg was broken, along with some of the controls on his bike. He was unable, due to the combination of circumstances to use the brakes on the cycle, yet he had to ride back to the base for medical assistance. Since there were no stop signs in the desert, there was not much of a problem. Once on the base, however, my friend (who was not in uniform) encountered an M.P., who stopped him for running a stop sign. The sergeant, having pulled this “law-breaker” over, promptly began a lecture. My injured friend was not impressed, and was eager to get on to the hospital. He interrupted the officer politely, yet firmly, with words to this effect: “Now hold on there sergeant. Before you go on I think there are three things you ought to know. First, I am a major. Second, I am a doctor. And, third, I have a broken leg.” With this the sergeant responded promptly, “Yes, sir, major, let me help you to the hospital.”
Many of us have plunged into the parenting process with little or no preparation for it. Like the sergeant, our zeal has consequently been somewhat removed from knowledge. I would like to suggest that there are three things each of us as parents need to know in order to train up our children as we ought. There are certainly other truths we need to know as well, and you may choose to differ with me in certain particulars, but I believe the Book of Proverbs assumes these three truths when it teaches us how to go about the parenting of our children. Let us consider these three truths carefully.
Beginning in the Book of Genesis and throughout the entire Bible it is taught that man is born a sinner. No child is born morally neutral. Every person enters the world as a child of Adam, with a sin nature that needs little time and no encouragement to manifest itself.
And the Lord smelled the soothing aroma; and the Lord said to Himself, “I will never again curse the ground on account of man, for the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth; and I will never again destroy every living thing, as I have done (Gen. 8:21, emphasis mine).
Surely I have been a sinner from birth, Sinful from the time my mother conceived me (Ps. 51:5, NIV).
Even from birth the wicked go astray; From the womb they are wayward and speak lies (Ps. 58:3, NIV).
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned (Rom. 5:12).
While Proverbs does not seek to prove the sinful state of children from birth, it certainly assumes this to be the case. A child who is allowed to go his own way will invariably choose folly over wisdom and bring shame to his parents.
The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way [Lit., left to himself] brings shame to his mother (Prov 29:15).
Child training must therefore begin with the premise that a child who is left to himself will only become more proficient at sinning. The parenting process involves dealing with sin in the life of the child, endeavoring to turn the child from his natural course to the fear of the Lord and the way of wisdom.
In Proverbs, the appeal which is made to the child is one which assumes this sinful bent. The child is not only warned of certain evils which have not yet become a temptation, such as the adulterous woman (chapters 5-7), but is urged to turn from his evil way to the way of wisdom. The child is never assumed to be on the way of wisdom apart from a conscious decision to depart from evil and to choose the fear of the Lord.46
Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put devious lips far from you. . . . Do not turn to the right nor to the left; Turn your foot from evil (Prov 4:24,27).
When wisdom cries out to the simple to turn from their ways, she indicates that there is more than a mere predisposition toward sin; there is a preference for it.
Wisdom shouts in the street, She lifts her voice in the square; At the head of the noisy streets she cries out; At the entrance of the gates in the city, she utters her sayings: “How long, 0 naive ones, will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, And fools hate knowledge? Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you” (Prov 1:20-23).
Wisdom then goes on to say that those who experience the destruction which is at the end of the way of the wicked do so because of their own choice. They will get exactly what they deserve (Prov 1:31-32).
The problem with a child is not his environment, but within his own heart. It, like the hearts of all men (Prov 20:9), is evil. What a child needs is not merely correction, but conversion. A child must come to the point where he recognizes the sinfulness of his own heart, ceases to trust in himself, and submits himself to the fear of the Lord.
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life (Prov 4:23).
And you say, “How I have hated instruction And my heart spurned reproof! And I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors” (Prov 5:12-13)
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child (Prov 22:15).
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight (Prov 3:5-6).
Children sometimes think they can get away with sin if no one sees them. Proverbs quickly dispels any hope of getting away with evil, for even when parents do not observe their sin, God does. He even searches their hearts.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Watching the evil and the good (Prov 15:3).
Death and Destruction lie open before the Lord-How much more the hearts of men! (Prov 15:11, NIV).
The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; It searches out his inmost being (Prov 20:27, NIV).
I never cease to be amazed at the excuses parents are inclined to make for their children when the real problem is just plain old-fashioned sin. Our children need to learn at an early age that sin has painful consequences and that God has provided a solution for the sinner--salvation in Jesus Christ. We cannot solve the problem of sin by education, for education alone only produces a more sophisticated sinner, a lesson I quickly learned by my teaching experience in a state prison. The number one problem of the child is the same problem common to all mankind--sin. The solution is to confess it and trust in the work of Christ for salvation. Let every one of us as parents be willing to deal with our children as sinners.
For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding (Prov 2:6).
So that your trust may be in the Lord, I have taught you today, even you (Prov 22:19).
A recent newspaper contained a letter to Ann Landers in which a young man was seeking her counsel on an important matter. He wrote:
I am a 17-year-old male with a big problem. I quit high school last year and moved out of the house. I stayed away four months and decided to move back. I hold down a job and make good money. I have an offer to move into an apartment with a friend. I am really tempted, because I am not happy living with my parents--too much arguing. The problem: The friend is female. She’s like a sister. I swear there is nothing between us.47
I was relieved to read Ann’s advice not to live with this “friend,” but to seek living accommodations with a family or, better yet, to learn to live with his parents. Now at first reading I must admit that I did not really take this young man seriously. Surely he could not think that he could live with this girl in a sisterly way, could he? On further thought, I am convinced that he sincerely believed he could. This young man’s letter illustrates a truth which every parent must learn--that our children are not only sinful, they are also simple, naive, just like this young man.
Some of the characteristics of a child should not be thought of so much in terms of sinfulness as simpleness. While these two can sometimes be related (e.g., Prov 1:22), they should not necessarily be equated. A child is naive largely due to inexperience, a condition which renders him vulnerable to the solicitations of evil men and women. Let us pause to consider some of the characteristics of children which might fall under the category of simpleness.
Simplicity in Proverbs is a naivet resulting primarily from a child’s lack of experience. The child who was fortunate enough to have been born into a godly Jewish home in ancient times thankfully knew little or nothing about the wickedness of evil men or the wiles of seductive women. Unfortunately for Americans, children who have grown up in front of the TV know of these matters from their infancy. Godly parents in Old Testament times knew that sooner or later their child would have to leave the protection of their home and sought to prepare him for that time. The child was given the earmarks of such undesirable companions. They described the kinds of people who would tempt the youth to do evil.
The woman of folly is boisterous, She is naive, and knows nothing. And she sits at the doorway of her house, On a seat by the high places of the city, Calling to those who pass by, Who are making their paths straight (Prov 9:13-15).
If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause; Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit; We shall find all kinds of precious wealth, We shall fill our houses with spoil” (Prov 1:11-13).
A worthless person, a wicked man, Is the one who walks with a false mouth, Who winks with his eyes, who signals with his feet, Who points with his fingers; Who with perversity in his heart devises evil continually, Who spreads strife (Prov 6:12-14).
I passed by the field of the sluggard, And by the vineyard of the man lacking sense; And behold, it was completely overgrown with thistles, Its surface was covered with nettles, And its stone wall was broken down (Prov 24:30-31).
Proverbs provides the inexperienced child with a description of the character of those who are undesirable, and who will only lead the youth into a course which ends in destruction and death.
In their naivet, children tend to look at the world through rose colored glasses. Because of the protection of their parents and their lack of experience with those who are wicked, they are inclined to think the best of everyone and to be open to those who would take advantage of them.
In many of our homes our children’s idealism is often equated with “imagination” and “creativity.” Consequently we feed this imagination by supplying our children with fairy tales, nearly all of which end “happily ever after.” Life is not like that, however, and so Proverbs deals with this unrealistic idealism by giving the child large doses of reality. The child is taught to see life as it is, rather than as he might wish it were. In the real world, which Proverbs seeks to prepare the child to face, a bribe often produces results (Prov 17:8), the poor are generally forsaken and oppressed (Prov 13:23; 14:20), and the rich are never without “friends” (Prov 19:4).
The simplicity of children is further seen in their failure to look beyond the present. A candy bar today is much more important than a college education in years to come. Those who are wise look to the future to determine the best course in the present (Prov 27:12). Much of Proverbs has to do with the pleasant or painful consequences of our actions. While the lips of an adulteress have their momentary appeal, the child is warned that her house leads to death (Prov 5:3-5).The man who commits adultery will eventually have to face the offended husband, a painful and unpleasant experience (Prov 6:32-34).
Since children are, by nature, inclined to think only in terms of the present, we as parents must learn a lesson from the Book of Proverbs and seek to point out to our children, in real-life experiences, the consequences of their decisions and actions.
Another symptom of the simplicity of children is their shallowness of thought. They are impressed, for example, with the fact that Johnny, next door, has a swimming pool, a color TV of his own, and never has to work because he is given a generous allowance by his parents. What our child is inclined to overlook is that Johnny’s father may never be home, that his parents often quarrel, and that Johnny is learning to be lazy and selfish. Proverbs frequently takes us beyond the surface in order to expose the truth which is not readily apparent.
One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth (Prov 13:7, NIV).
The house of the righteous contains great treasure, But the income of the wicked brings them trouble (Prov 15:6, NIV).
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, Than great great treasure and turmoil with it. Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, Than a fattened ox and hatred with it (Prov 15:16-17).
The first to present his case seems right, Till another comes forward and questions him (Prov 18:17, NIV).
We have attempted to distinguish between what is sinful and what is merely simple, between willfulness and weakness. In the preceding section I have restricted the characteristic of simplicity to the child’s thinking or perception. I now wish to broaden the scope to include other tendencies of a child which may best be summarized by the term “childish.”
1. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO BE IMPULSIVE. If those of us whoa re older are plagued with indecision, the child is the opposite. Decision making is no problem for the young. But, you see, that is the problem. A child is quick to act--too quick. This impulsiveness frequently leads to trouble. The simple young man, for example, makes an impulsive decision to give in to the wiles of the adulterous woman.
Suddenly he follows her, As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, Until an arrow pierces through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, So he does not know that it will cost him his life (Prov 7:22-23 ).
Proverbs teaches us to deal with impulsiveness by instructing the child about the danger of actions taken without sufficient thought.
A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, But a fool is arrogant and careless (Prov 14:16) .
Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, And he who makes haste with his feet errs (Prov 19:2).
It is a snare for a man to say rashly, “It is holy!” And after the vows to make inquiry (Prov 20:25) .
2. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO BE INSENSITIVE TO DANGER.
A prudent man sees evil and hides himself, The naive proceed and pay the penalty (Prov 27:12) .
When I was attending seminary we lived right next to the seminary parking lot, with busy streets nearby. Some of the children in the yard would open the gate and run out into the parking lot or the street. Naturally, they had little awareness of the danger involved. Until they were old enough to appreciate this danger, a good spanking was necessary to underscore the painful consequences of running into the street.
Proverbs abounds with warnings about danger which a child would be inclined to overlook. Evil companions, the adulterous woman, becoming surety, and an uncontrolled temper are all described in terms of the dangers involved. While Proverbs carefully avoids a description of the sin, it describes in detail the consequences of the sin.
For her house sinks down to death, And her tracks lead to the dead; None who go to her return again, Nor do they reach the paths of life ( Prov 2:18-19).
Lest strangers be filled with your strength, And your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien; And you groan at your latter end, When your flesh and your body are consumed (Prov 5:10-11).
“A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest”-- And your poverty will come in like a vagabond, And your need like an armed man (Prov 6:10-11).
The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out (Prov 6:32-33).
3. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO BE SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE INFLUENCE AND LEADERSHIP OF OTHERS. Children are prone to follow almost anyone. In spite of parental warnings, children are often approached by strangers and led away. Part of this may be a confusion pertaining to the authority of adults over children. Obedient children may be hesitant to disobey an adult, even when that person is a stranger and his instruction is detrimental or dangerous. Proverbs assumes this gullibility.
The naive believes everything, But a prudent man considers his steps (Prov 14:15).
Wisdom necessitates warning the child of the dangers of associating with those who are evil, whether young or old.
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm (Prov 13:20).
Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Lest you learn his ways, And find a snare for yourself (Prov 22:24-25).
Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them; For their minds devise violence, And their lips talk of trouble (Prov 24:1-2).
4. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO UNDISCIPLINED. By this I mean that a child has very little inclination to deny himself any pleasure. If you left it to the child, he would eat the entire container of ice cream rather than only one bowl of it. The child avoids pain and pursues pleasure. As a result, it is necessary for the parent to place restrictions on the child which he would not place on himself. Bedtime is established at a certain hour, knowing the child, if given the option, would watch TV all night long.
While parents must enforce external restraints on the child, they recognize that they cannot always do so. Eventually the child must be able to see the value of self-control and must deny himself momentary pleasures for the long-term benefits of self-denial. Consequently, a wise parent will teach a child about the benefits of self-control, and will allow him to make more decisions as he grows up, praising the good decisions and pointing out the painful consequences of the bad ones.
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city (Prov 16:32).
He who loves pleasure will become a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not become rich (Prov 21:17).
There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man swallows it up (Prov 21:20).
Have you found honey? Eat only what you need, Lest you have it in excess and vomit it Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, Lest he become weary of you and hate you (Prov 25:16-17).
Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit (Prov 25:28).
5. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO FAIL TO APPRECIATE THE BENEFITS OF PARENTAL DISCIPLINE. A child who delights to be punished by his parents is in need of help. We tend to think in terms of the child who has a knapsack tied to the end of a stick, leaving home after being disciplined. No one should desire pain or punishment. But when punishment is required, it should be accepted as that which is motivated by love and directed to a good end. The passages which teach the need for discipline are not just for the benefit of the parent, but for the child as well. Let the child learn that discipline is of God and is for his good.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, Or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Prov 3:11-12).
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently (Prov 13:24).
A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is prudent (Prov 15:5).
Stern discipline is for him who forsakes the way; He who hates reproof will die (Prov 15:10).
6. TO BE CHILDISH IS TO FAIL TO DISCERN VALUE. Suppose I were to offer a child ten shiny new pennies or two dimes, which would he choose? Naturally, he would take the ten pennies. The reason is because the child does not yet appreciate value. He concludes that having more pennies is better than having fewer dimes. A few trips to the store will greatly enhance his education.
Proverbs recognizes the weaknesses of children in rightly appraising the true value of many of life’s greatest treasures. Consequently, it frequently speaks of the value of wisdom, of righteousness, and of peace.
How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver (Prov 16:16).
Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, But righteousness delivers from death (Prov 11:4).
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, Than great treasure and turmoil with it Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, Than a fattened ox and hatred with it (Prov 15:16-17).
From our study of the nature of the child in the Book of Proverbs there are several principles which we should consider and seek to apply. Let me enumerate these principles and suggest some of their implications.
1. PROVERBS OFFERS PARENTS HOPE FOR THE OUTCOME OF THE CHILD-RAISING PROCESS. In our last lesson I attempted to demonstrate that parents cannot determine the destiny of their children, no matter how faithfully they carry out their task as parents. While it is true that parents do not have the last word in the lives of their children, Proverbs reminds us that they do have the first word. While there are no guarantees given that a godly home will always produce godly sons and daughters, there is the assurance that God’s method of producing a godly generation is through godly parents who train up their children according to the Scriptures.
I believe we find a parallel in the process of reaching the lost for Christ. While we have no assurance that those to whom we witness will come to faith in Christ, we are certain that God’s method of reaching the lost is through Christians who share their faith.
How then shall they call upon Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? (Rom. 10:14).
We should be faithful in bearing witness to our faith in Christ because we are commanded to evangelize. We should be diligent in the training of our children because God has commanded us to do so. In both cases, we must ultimately leave the results to God, recognizing that in each we are not required to be successful, only faithful. But in both instances we should also labor in hope, knowing that God answers prayer and is both willing and able to save and to bring about His purposes.
2. WHILE CHILDREN ARE FOOLISH, THEY ARE NOT FOOLS. I am greatly encouraged as a parent by the observation that never in Proverbs is a child called a fool. We read of the shame of a father who begets a fool for a son (Prov 17:21) and of a fool who rejects his father’s discipline (Prov 15:5), but in both these instances I believe the son has grown up to be a fool, and while he is still a son, he is not a child.
This is why there is no contradiction between those passages which instruct parents to teach and discipline their foolish children, but also discourage any instruction or correction of a fool. In Prov 23:9 we read, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words,” and yet in Prov 22:6 parents are instructed to “train up” their children. In Prov 27:22 we find, “Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his folly will not depart from him,” but a parent is commanded, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Prov 13:24). A child is foolish by nature, but he only grows up to be a fool by virtue of time and conscious decisions. Let us be careful to deal with our children in the light of their foolishness and in order to encourage them not to grow up to be fools.
3. CHILDREN CAN HARDLY BE EITHER GODLY OR WISE. I am certain that this statement may cause some parents to raise their eyebrows, but it is, in many respects, the heart of this message. Just as Proverbs distinguishes between being a fool and being foolish, so it distinguishes between being a child and being godly. A child must choose to accept or reject the fear of the Lord. A child may choose to be on the path of wisdom; but no child can be wise in the sense of being mature and skillful in living, any more than a beginning piano student can be an accomplished musician. We can commend them for their decision to learn and for their diligence at their task, but we cannot command them to be accomplished or expect it to come to pass, other than over a period of time.
Think about this for a moment. Is it reasonable for a parent to expect a baby that is six months old and twenty pounds in weight to lift weights or to play professional football? Why then do we expect our children to be anything other than children? They can and should learn to be obedient to their parents, but they cannot manifest those marks of maturity which only come with time.
The possibility for error here is immense. There is tremendous status involved in having a child who is advanced beyond his or her age. We want to teach our babies to read, to teach advanced subjects in elementary school, to have our children go to school at an earlier age and to be functioning above their age and grade level expectations. That, to the parent, is status. I would like to suggest that while this tendency is dangerous in the educational realm, it is even more so in the spiritual realm. We dare not expect attitudes and conduct from our children that match or exceed our own. We must cease and desist from forcing our children to live according to the expectations others have for them or us. Children can grow up to be mature, godly, and wise. And they will do so as we give them the freedom to grow--not by imposing our restrictions, regulations, and rules.
In the Book of Galatians, the apostle Paul is dealing with the problem of legalism. Some Christians insisted that other believers live in accordance with the regulations of the Old Testament law as understood and practiced by the Jews of that day. Paul showed them the folly of this system by reminding them of the way children were raised in the Jewish home. The child was kept under strict supervision and regulation until he reached the age (I believe it was 12) of receiving the full rights of sonship. When that day arrived the child was regarded as a man and was given the full rights of adulthood (Prov 3:23-24; 4:1-7). Paul’s point was to show that Israel’s time under the Old Testament law was a time of immaturity; but after the cross of Christ and the coming of the Holy Spirit, men and women were now able to mature and grow in freedom, not under strict regulations and rules.
I do not wish to pursue Paul’s point in detail, but rather to draw your attention to his illustration and its application. Children, he said, were put under stricter rules and regulations, because they were children. But once they reached the point where they could (and should) become adults they were given freedom, freedom to choose, to fail, and to grow. We too as parents, must recognize that when our children are younger they need much more supervision. We must make most of their decisions and protect them from themselves. But as they grow they must be given the freedom essential to maturity. The purpose of Proverbs, to a very large extent, is to prepare the child for the freedom ahead. And when our children reach this point, we must let them go, let them make decisions, let them fail, and let them grow in wisdom and maturity.
4. IN PROVERBS IT IS NOT A SIN TO BE CHILDISH, ONLY TO STAY CHILDISH. The foolishness of a child must be consciously dealt with by the parent and laid aside by the child. To remain foolish is to become a fool. While we must learn to accept our children for what they are, we must not allow them to stay that way. The solution to childishness is maturity.
I find a remarkable parallel to this truth in the New Testament. Paul wrote:
When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things (1 Cor. 13:11).
It was not wrong for Paul to be childish as a child. But maturity puts aside childish things. Have you noticed that the characteristics of children are the same problems with which we struggle as adults. If our children lack self-discipline, so do we (cf. 1 Cor. 9:24-10:13). If our children think only of the present and ignore the future, we often tend to do the same. That is why the Book of Hebrews was written. Those who are found in the “Hall of Faith” of chapter 11 are those who lived in the present in the light of the certainty of God’s promises--by faith. You and I, my friend, do not have the excuse which our children do. Why are we so often childish, foolish, and sinful? We need to grow up, to put away those things which are childish, and to mature.
This was the plight of the Christians in Corinth. It was not wrong for those who were newly saved to be immature (1 Cor. 3:1), but it was sinful for them to have stayed that way (1 Cor. 3:2-3). Those of us who have been saved for some time do not have the excuse our immature brothers and sisters have. Let us be careful not to expect them to act like us, and let us beware lest we act like them.
5. NOT ALL CHILDISH TRAITS ARE EVIL. I have focused on those traits of children which are either sinful or undesirable in adults. But this should not be taken too far. Children have been given to their parents (I believe) not only to be taught by them, but to teach them. Our Lord taught that we must become like little children to enter into the kingdom. We must have child-like faith.
“Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all” (Luke 18:17).
Many men and women are just too smart, too sophisticated to get to heaven. They are trusting in their abilities, their intelligence, their works. When a child trusts an adult, it is with no sense of his own power or sufficiency. It is a trust of utter dependence. That, my friend, is the kind of faith which God requires of you if you are to be saved. If you would enter into God’s heaven you must, in humble, child-like faith, acknowledge your sin, your inability to earn God’s approval or blessing, and trust only in what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for you on the cross of Calvary. There He died for your sins, bearing your punishment. There He offers to you the forgiveness of sins and the assurance of eternal life. Will you trust Him?
Let us, then, teach our children, as children. Let us seek to leave behind our own childish ways and grow up to maturity in Christ. And let us learn to depend on God alone, and not on ourselves.
46 There are instances in Proverbs where the vantage point is that of a child at a fork in the path, so to speak (cf. Prov 1:10-33; 4:14-15). While the child is viewed as neither on the way of wisdom or the way of folly, nevertheless the parent’s urgent appeal is based on the fact that the heart of the child inclines him to choose the way of evil, not the way of wisdom. Also, in these cases, it seems to me that the child is viewed as on neither path because he has not yet encountered a particular evil, about which he must soon make a decision. It is not the innocence of the child which necessitates this perspective, then, but his inexperience.
47 The Dallas Morning News, Monday, September 20, 1982, Section C, p. 4.
Why the Rod is Righteous
From my vast experience I could easily write a book on the subject of corporal punishment. It would be entitled: Spankings I Remember. There is one particular incident from my youth that is still fresh in my mind’s eye. My father asked me to walk up to the county road and get the mail. I responded that I would be delighted to drive those 200 yards or so. After all, I reminded him, it was my old ‘36 Ford pickup that I would be driving. True enough, my father agreed, but it was his gas I would be consuming. I walked out the back door only to see that pickup sitting, unused. What a shame. Convinced that my dad was unreasonable, and hoping that tired engine would come to life before my father made it out of the house, I got in and started grinding away at the starter. The engine came to life about the same time my dad did. Well, it was too late, I reasoned; what was done was done. I might as well make a run for it, hoping the truck was quicker than dad--a futile thought.
Unfortunately for both dad and myself, I ran over his foot with a half-flat front tire. That certainly added to his zeal. With amazing agility dad grabbed hold of the truck; and since the truck had no door on the driver’s side, dad and I were eyeball to eyeball, me in the driver’s seat and him on the running board. Now I know that some Bible teachers make much of the rod, the instrument, by which discipline is administered, as well as carefully specifying the place it is to be applied. But there was a stick laying in the road which my dad was able to reach down and pick up, and I was still sitting on the spot where it would best be applied. The long and short of it was that one good blow brought me to my senses and that old truck to a halt. You may have guessed that I walked to bring in the mail.
As a commentary on my father’s use of the paddle, there is not one time I can recall about which I am not now able to smile. The only member of our family who had a continuing difference with my father about the paddle was Prince, the family’s collie. I believe that dog suffered as much during our sessions with the rod as we did.
No book of the Bible has as much to say about “the rod” as the Book of Proverbs. And few books written in recent years would agree with what Proverbs teaches. An article in the Journal of Psychology and Theology of several years ago probably expresses the viewpoint of most Americans. The author concluded that moderate spanking had minimal value, if any, and more frequent and severe spanking was definitely viewed as damaging to the child. Here are several of the reasons the author cited in support of his position:48
1. A child’s bottom is in close proximity to his sexual organs. Thus a spanking may result in sexual stimulation. (Sigmund Freud’s fingerprints are all over this objection).
2. The child may so enjoy the making up which follows a spanking that he will seek the spanking.
3. Since it is assumed that spanking is a form of parental revenge, it is feared that the child will learn to handle his frustrations like his parents do--by striking out. In the words of the article, when we spank our children we give them, “a taste of the jungle.”49
4. A woman once suffered from an anal fistula which she associated with spanking and toilet training. Therefore no one should spank their children for fear that this might be their experience.
5. The possibility of getting a spanking keeps the child from having a relaxed attitude toward life. He is always fearful of the spanking which might occur.
6. Some children who are spanked still misbehave. Therefore, spanking must not work.
I am not shocked to read these kinds of statements when they are written by non-Christians, by people who do not view the Bible as authoritative. But this article was written by a man who received a doctoral degree in theology from one of the most renowned seminaries in the United States. Furthermore, he is teaching in a Christian liberal arts college.50 In attempting to integrate psychology with theology, the former clearly won out, as we can see from this statement by Dr. Ruble:
Should children be spanked? Answered from a biblical viewpoint, there seems to be no clear teaching that they should. Conversely, there is no explicit prohibition against spanking. Answered from a psychological perspective, there are differences of opinion among psychologists. However, the negative features associated with spanking children seem to suggest that they should not be spanked severely or frequently, if at all.
All psychologists would tend to emphasize positive rather than negative contingencies in controlling children’s behavior. Spanking is an aversive stimulus and therefore not as desirable as positive reward in behavioral control. When aversive dimensions must be applied, non-violent ones are preferable to violent ones.51
In a later article, in response to the criticism of another Christian psychologist,52 Dr. Ruble writes:
The Bible nowhere teaches that all children should be spanked if they are to develop properly. Instead, children need firm and patient guidance. They need happy, well-adjusted, integrated Christian parents who resist the impulse to strike out when frustrated by the child’s behavior. They need innovative parents with a vast repertoire of creative responses to the child. They need above all to realize the powerful impact of example.53
This demonstrates to me that even evangelical, Bible-believing Christians are struggling with the matter of spanking their children. Not only are some Christians questioning its validity today, but governmental agencies are quite clearly moving in the direction of banning its use, not only in public schools but in the home. While my first intention was simply to assume that Christians agreed we must spank our children and to discuss only the “how’s” and “when’s,” I now find it necessary to spend this entire lesson exploring the biblical reasons “why” Christian parents should spank their children.
It is from the Scriptures that we must derive the principles which should govern the discipline of our children, and by which we must judge the contributions of every other field of study. The Bible clearly claims to be an adequate and authoritative guide for all spiritual matters, and in particular for the matter of correction and discipline.
All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
If it is the Scriptures which adequately equip us for every good work, and for correction in particular, then let us look to the book which has the most to say on the subject of spanking, the Book of Proverbs.
Before I begin to enumerate the biblical reasons for using the rod, let me agree with Dr. Ruble in one particular area, though not to the degree that he carries it.54 I agree with him that the expression “the rod” may at times be used more broadly than just as a reference to corporal punishment. The term “rod” is used, for example for God’s divine chastisement of men (cf. 2 Sam. 7:14; Isa. 10:5). In these instances we understand the term “rod” to be used metaphorically or symbolically for divine discipline. This does not mean (as Dr. Ruble seems to conclude) that the term “rod” in Proverbs never refers to a spanking. In nearly every instance in Proverbs the “rod” could just as well be translated “spanking.” I do fear, however, that some parents have concluded that there is only one means of correction--the rod.
I believe thinking of discipline only in terms of the “rod” is incorrect for several reasons. In the first place, some children are less affected by the rod than others. Some children seem to have a “cast iron bottom,” with a very high threshold for pain. The paddle does not speak as loudly to such individuals. Secondly, other forms of punishment may be taken more seriously. For example, a 16-year old son would probably far rather have a spanking than to have the car keys taken away for a week. If discipline is intended to get a child’s attention, forms other than spanking may be more effective. Furthermore, certain forms of discipline may be more appropriate and meaningful than others. To go back to the 16-year old son for a moment, if he were caught driving recklessly, removing his privilege of driving would provide a more natural and meaningful lesson. To fail to use the car properly results in losing the privilege of driving. Let us not be limited to only one means of correction.
I have a friend who had an interesting means of differentiating between offenses, while using a paddle to deal with a variety of types of misconduct. He had a very long paddle, with reference marks up and down the length of the handle. For very serious disobedience, he grasped the paddle at the very end, giving the board a very long and painful swing. For lesser sins he would “choke up” like a baseball player attempting a short hit.
This is one solution, but I think we dare not attempt to use the paddle for every offense our children commit. When Proverbs urges parents not to spare the rod, it is, in the broadest terms, instructing us of the need to correct, to discipline, our children. One of the ways of correcting our children which Proverbs advocates is the rod. Correction--yes. The paddle--perhaps. Discipline--always. The rod--sometimes.
Much of modern-day psychology seems to look on the rod as a relic of the past. It is a punitive, even primitive, means of controlling the behavior of children which is now obsolete by virtue of man’s greater knowledge of human behavior. Simply put, we have evolved beyond such primitive means of controlling our children. To the modern mind the rod really is a “taste of the jungle.” Why is it then that the Book of Proverbs speaks so much of the rod, instructing parents to make use of it in child-rearing? A number of reasons can be found in Proverbs and elsewhere in the Bible.
1. THE ROD IS REQUIRED IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT INCLINED TO USE IT. Proverbs assumes the sinfulness of the parent as well as that of the child. Proverbs commands parents to use the rod for correction simply because we would not otherwise be inclined to do so. There are a number of reasons why this is true.
Some parents fail to use the rod because of their own upbringing. Some grew up in homes where they were not spanked. The tendency in most cases is for us to raise our children the way we were brought up (cf. Prov. 4:3-4).We must always evaluate our past experience in the light of the Scriptures. We should, of course, retain that which is godly and good, but we must also recognize those elements of our childhood training which were wrong.
Worse by far is the parent who grew up in a home where the “rod” was an implement in the hand of an angry parent who could not or would not distinguish between discipline and child abuse. Unfortunately, there are people who use the Bible to justify their cruelty to their children. Child abuse is never sanctioned in Proverbs.
The difference between the Book of Proverbs and psychologists like Dr. Ruble is that Proverbs assumes that most parents are inclined not to discipline at all. In that case the parent must be encouraged to use the rod. Some psychologists, on the other hand, assume that those who use the “rod” are “striking out” against their children. Spanking is viewed as a form of parental aggression, a resorting to primitive tendencies. Therefore, psychology tends to prohibit spanking, assuming that those who use the rod do so in a wrong way or for wrong reasons. That is over generalization. Just because some parents abuse their children with a rod does not mean that the rod is categorically bad. While sinfulness can incline some parents to abuse their children by beating them, Proverbs assumes that sinfulness most often takes the form of avoiding the correction and discipline of our children.
Most of our reasons for resisting the rod do not go back to our parents. I believe one of the principle reasons why we fail to discipline our children is because we are sluggards. Let’s face it, children never disobey us when it is convenient to discipline them. Sometimes it is in the middle of a Dallas Cowboy’s football game. Who wants to get up and spank a child when it is third down with one yard to go on the opponent’s two yard line? Then again, who is anxious to spank their child in the aisle of a supermarket, when it seems that every eye is on us? If I were to be totally honest I would have to admit that the major reason why I don’t spank as much as I should is because I am too lazy to put forth to the effort to do something I don’t really enjoy.
Another reason many parents do not spank their children is due to misdirected sympathy. There is nothing more heart-rending than the wailing of a child during a spanking. In fact the wailing often starts before the paddling begins. The child is desperately attempting to soften or shorten the blows by his pathetic sobs and tears. In order to give the parent courage and diligence at such times Proverbs tells us:
Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die (23:13).
Taken in its usual sense this proverb assures faint-hearted parents that their child is not really ready for the intensive care unit at the hospital--it only sounds that way. In spite of such appearances, we are counseled, keep it up.
Yet another reason for parental avoidance of the rod is due to various misconceptions of love, forgiveness, and forbearance. In our culture it is considered inconceivable that love can be expressed by the rod. Love is viewed as never punishing, never bringing pain, only dealing with the child in very positive ways. Proverbs has a very different view of love:
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently (13:24).
Do we love our children? Then we will be diligent to chasten them when required. Do we hate our children? Then we will avoid using the rod. Love seeks the best interest of the child, which is sometimes served by inflicting pain by means of the rod.
We may try to sanctify permissive parenting by using this kind of Scripture:
A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression (19:11).
In this text and others, such as our Lord’s instruction to “turn the other cheek” (Matt. 5:39), we are taught not to retaliate against those who offend us. course, is true. We ought not seek revenge:
Do not say, “I will repay evil”; Wait for the Lord, and He will save you (20:22).
But while we ought not seek revenge, neither do we dare overlook sin in the lives of our children, or in the lives of other saints (cf. Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 5:1-8; Gal. 6:1).
Finally, I believe that some parents refrain from using the rod because they have been taught never to discipline in anger. While anger should never control our discipline, it may be a means of motivating it. I am personally convinced that being angry should not keep a parent from doing his duty with regard to the rod. Since this is an important issue I will spend a considerable amount of time on it in the next lesson. Suffice it for now to say that being angry should not keep us from disciplining our children.
2. THE ROD IS REQUIRED TO RESTRAIN THE SIN OF THE CHILD. I must confess at the outset that while I believe this principle is assumed by the Book of Proverbs, I am not certain it is clearly taught here. In Genesis 9 God ordained government and the use of capital punishment. He did this in order to restrain sinful men. The “sword” which government bears (Rom. 13:4) is that of capital punishment. It is given this authority, we are taught, to restrain evil and to reward righteousness (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Pet. 2:14). I believe that parents have this same obligation with regard to their children. While we cannot change their hearts, we can, to some degree, control their behavior, and for this we are held accountable (cf. 1 Sam. 3:13; 1 Tim. 3:4). Just as government bears the sword to restrain sin, the parent holds the rod.
3. THE ROD IS REQUIRED BECAUSE IT DEMONSTRATES THE CHARACTER OF THE CHILD. I have a friend who has helped me appreciate the fact that a person’s character is often demonstrated by his response to correction. Proverbs teaches this truth, and it certainly applies to the child’s response to the rod.
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid (12:1).
A wise son accepts his father’s discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke (13:1).
A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is prudent (15:5).
A child who accepts discipline and responds to it by repentance and right conduct is on the path of the wise. A child who is embittered by correction (even though rightly carried out by the parents) has rejected the way of the wise.
In the light of the rod as a test of a child’s character, let us be careful about using some “positive” means of training our children. Secular psychology tends to avoid nearly every negative form of discipline in favor of those which are considered more positive. Positive reinforcement is important, but not when it excludes necessary negative correction. If I am in the grocery store and I tell my child to put down the box of cereal and he responds, “No!” I have several choices. If I say to the child, “If you put down the cereal, I’ll buy you a candy bar,” that is bribery, not discipline. The obedience of our children is best tested when we instruct them to do something that is undesirable or unpleasant to them, like bending over to get a shot at the doctor’s office. To give a child a dollar and tell him to buy candy is no test of obedience. Let us beware of “positive” discipline which is only bribery by another name. Let us use it only when it is godly and right.
4. THE ROD IS REQUIRED BECAUSE IT IS A TEACHING TOOL.A spanking is not only a test of the child’s character but a tool to teach the child as well.
All the commandments that I am commanding you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your forefathers. And you shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. And He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord” (Deut. 8:1-3).
In this passage Moses taught the Israelites a very important principle. Not only were the difficulties along the way a discipline (v. 5) intended to test the character of the people of God (v. 2), they were a lesson intended to teach God’s people that man’s life consists of more than eating bread, that men must also learn to live in complete dependence on God’s word (v. 3). While Job’s trials were a proof of his character (Job 1:8), they were also a lesson in Job’s life to teach him greater dependence on God, especially in times of trouble (Job 38).The Book of Hebrews teaches New Testament Christians the very same lesson (cf. especially chap. 12). The Book of Proverbs agrees with this teaching, for it informs us that parental discipline is divinely appointed for the development of a child’s character.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights (3:11-12).
For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life (6:23).
He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, But he who listens to reproof acquires understanding (15:31-32).
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, But a child left to itself disgraces his mother (29:15, NIV).
It is very important that we distinguish between punishment and correction. Punishment is the process of giving the evil-doer what he deserves. Correction is intended to instruct a man so that he will mature and be more godly. From a divine perspective punishment is for non-believers while chastening is for God’s children. The correction of our children should be modeled after the correction of God’s children (cf. 3:11-12). The correction of our children with the rod, then, is to be instructive, not merely punitive (though this may be true as well).
So far as instruction is concerned the rod is not required to teach the wise, because they will listen to counsel and learn from it.
Do not reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you, Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man, and be will increase his learning (9:8-9).
Some, however, are not teachable with mere words. A child, for example, may not be able to grasp the danger of playing in the street. The rod reinforces the word “no” by teaching young child that when he plays in the street there are painful consequences. It amazes me that some psychologists talk about the cruelty of spanking a child in this light. Is it more cruel to spank a child so he can learn of the danger in this way or to let him suffer the natural consequences of foolishness and perhaps die? You cannot reason with a child at this age. Children are unable to grasp abstractions (like the danger of Mack trucks in the street), but they do understand pain. The rod is an instructive tool for those who cannot yet reason.
The rod is also an instructive tool for those who are old enough to reason, but won’t. For those who will not listen to reason the rod is an alternative teaching tool. Stubborn willfulness is something for which the rod is the remedy. It is intended to change arrogance and pride into humility, and disobedience to obedience.
By using the rod the parent seeks to point out sin in the child’s life and to show him that sin always has a high price. In so doing the child is encouraged to see the dangers of sin and to turn from waywardness to the way of wisdom, beginning with the fear of the Lord.
I have not thought this passage through carefully, but it seems that the role of the rod in bringing stubborn sons to a point of being willing to listen to reason is taught in the Book of Isaiah. In the first chapter we read:
“Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool” (Isa. 1:18).
Here is a word of warning and exhortation. Israel’s problem is her waywardness. God offers forgiveness, if Israel will only repent. If they heed God’s warning, they will find forgiveness and blessing, but if they do not . . .
“If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” Truly, the mouth of the Lord has spoken (Isa. 1:19-20).
God seeks to reason with men and to turn them from their sin. If they respond and repent, He will forgive them. If they do not, God will use “the rod” to break their willful spirit and bring them to repentance. The rod is for those who refuse to learn--the easy way.
The rod, then, is like a red warning light on the dash of an automobile--it is a signal that something is wrong which needs to be corrected. The light does not It is in this solve the problem, but it at least makes the individual aware of it. It is in this sense, I believe, that we are to understand this verse:
Stripes that wound scour away evil, And strokes reach the innermost parts (20:30).
The rod is employed in order to reach the heart of the child and to turn it from evil. By using the rod the parent seeks to teach the child the consequences of sin and the need for accepting God’s solution for sin.
Incidentally, I should point out that even when the rod fails to instruct the one who is chastened, it may still provide instruction for others.
Strike a scoffer and the naive may become shrewd, But reprove one who has understanding and he will gain knowledge (19:25).
5. THE ROD IS REQUIRED BECAUSE OF THE DEVASTATING RESULTS OF REFRAINING FROM ITS USE. There are some proverbs which seem to promise more than we can hope for:
Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, And beatings purge the inmost being (20:30, NIV).
Do not withhold discipline from a child; If you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death (23:13-14, NIV).
A casual look at these Scriptures may incline us to think that the paddle is more effective than the “Four Spiritual Laws.” Such a misconception is due to our failure to understand the terms “soul” and “death” in the sense that the Israelite of ancient times did. The term “soul” was equivalent to our word “life.” Saving a “soul” in those days was saving a life. “Death,” too, had a very specific meaning-one that we are not inclined to consider, but which ha! tremendous impact on the Old Testament saint.
If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his home town. And they shall say to the elders of his city, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear of it and fear (Deut. 21:18-21).
If the “rod” was given to restrain sin, the “rock” was given to remove it. Parents in ancient times who believed in the authority of God’s word knew all too well that if the rod was not effective, the only recourse was the rock--stoning. There was a tremendous motivation, then, for these parents to be diligent with the rod. While it may have been painful to both parent and child, it was far better than the alternative--stoning a stubborn and rebellious son.
One problem with parents today is that we have lost sight of the devastating consequences of sin which is not dealt with in the life of the child. Let us remember that when Paul wrote, “the wages of sin is death,” he was speaking primarily of spiritual death, not just physical death. While the parents of an undisciplined child suffer the earthly consequences of shame and regret (e.g. 29:15), the eternal consequences of sin are far worse. If the rod impresses a child with his sinfulness and need of salvation, that is a lesson worth the price of pain, and it may prevent a much greater agony, the suffering of eternal damnation.
In this light the rod looks entirely different than some would see it. To say that the rod is cruel and primitive is to fail to see the alternative clearly. Is it cruel to grab a child by the hair? Certainly it is painful. But suppose your child was falling from a high building to certain death. Would you be willing to grab that child by the hair if it were the means of saving his life? Of course you would. So too the rod may appear cruel until the alternatives are considered.
6. THE ROD Is REQUIRED BECAUSE IT IS RIGHTEOUS AND BECAUSE GOD USES THE ROD ON HIS CHILDREN. To be godly is to be God-like. Early in the Book of Proverbs we are taught that human discipline and divine discipline are similar, if not synonymous.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights (3:11-12).
These verses are quite evidently based upon the Old Testament law of God:
“Thus you are to know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son (Deut. 8:5).
If it is the responsibility of earthly fathers to model the role of God as the Father of true believers (a concept we will deal with in the next lesson), then the discipline of the father must be like that of God Himself.
Here is the rub with those who are unbelievers or unbiblical in their thinking. They cannot conceive of spanking as godly because they cannot conceive of God as judging men and condemning them to an eternal hell. If God is only a God of love (as some wish to think), then He would not and could not send any to hell, nor would He inflict pain on men at any time. If parents are to be godly (God-like), then they cannot inflict pain on their children. The primary issue is this: What is God like? Does He inflict pain on men for sin? If He does, then we are only consistent with His character and actions when we inflict pain on our children for their sinful acts.
A careful look at a few biblical passages leaves no doubt about the discipline of God:
“I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men” (2 Sam. 7:14).
“If his [i.e., David’s] sons forsake My law, and do not walk in My judgments, if they violate My statutes, and do not keep My commandments, then I will visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.
But I will not break off My lovingkindness from him, nor deal falsely in My faithfulness. My covenant I will not violate, nor will I alter the utterance of My lips” (Ps. 89:30-34).
Woe to Assyria, the rod of My anger and the staff in whose hands is My indignation (Isa. 10:5).
In each of these passages, God speaks of using the “rod” of correction on His people. David’s sons, the kings of Judah, would be disciplined by God for their disobedience; yet God said He would remain faithful to His promise to establish for Davit an everlasting throne (2 Sam. 7:12-13). Disobedient Israel would be chastened by God’s “rod” of correction, Assyria (cf. Deut. 28:15-68, esp. v. 64; Isa. 7:17-19; 8:5-8).
In every instance of God’s disciplining of His people, God is seen to be righteous for judging sinners. His discipline is never seen as a flaw in His holy character, but as a manifestation of His holiness.
Now therefore, our God, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who dost keep covenant and lovingkindness, do not let all the hardship seem insignificant before Thee, which has come upon us, our kings, our princes, our priests, our prophets, our fathers, and on all Thy people, from the days of the kings of Assyria to this day. However, Thou art just in all that hast come upon us; for Thou hast dealt faithfully, but we have acted wickedly (Neh. 9:32-33; cf. Ps. 78; Dan. 9).
Ananias and his wife Sapphira were struck dead for their deception (Acts 5:1-11). God is not merely a disciplinarian in the Old Testament, but also in the New. In Matthew 18:15-20 our Lord laid down a means of imposing discipline on a disobedient believer, and in 1 Corinthians 5:2-5 Paul urged the Corinthian saints to apply this instruction. Later on in 1 Corinthians, Paul explained that some of the saints had become sick and others had died due to their failure to rightly discern the Lord’s body in the commemoration of the Lord’s Supper (11:29-30). Paul personally practiced this kind of discipline (1 Tim. 1:18-20).
If disobedient children of God are disciplined severely in both testaments, we should certainly expect an even worse fate for those who have rejected the salvation God has provided for men in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ.
And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds. And death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire (Rev. 20:12-15).
Especially deserving of damnation are those who have actively afflicted the saints. Note that in the passage cited below God is seen to be righteous in His act of judging sinners.
And the second angel poured out his bowl into the sea, and it became blood like that of a dead man; and every living thing in the sea died. And the third angel poured out his bowl into the rivers and the springs of waters; and they became blood. And I heard the angel of the waters saying, “Righteous are Thou, who art and who wast, O Holy One, because Thou didst judge these things; for they poured out the blood of saints and prophets and Thou hast given them blood to drink. They deserve it.” And I heard the altar saying, “Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Thy judgments” (Rev. 16:4-7).
We can now understand why Proverbs views the rod as righteous and judgment as just. In Proverbs 1 wisdom is completely righteous in seeing justice served by the sinners reaping not only what they wanted, but also what they so richly deserved.
‘Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but they shall not find me, because they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord. They would not accept my counsel, they spurned all my reproof. So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, and be satiated with their own devices. For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, and the complacency of fools shall destroy them” (1:28-32).
We can draw no other conclusion from the Scriptures than this: Righteousness demands the rod. God’s righteousness necessitates that He judge unbelievers and discipline His own people. God has established kings and earthly authorities to promote righteousness and to punish evildoers (Prov. 20:8; 24:25; 25:5; Rom. 13:1-5). So too parents must reward righteousness in their children and punish them for their evil deeds. If there is one thing that is certain in eternity, and which should be seen in life, it is that sinners will be punished.
Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, But those who are righteous will go free (11:21, NIV).
Society is wrong, my friend--dead wrong! It is not a sin to spank a child. If parents are to be godly they must deal with evil as God does. Just as God has always made provision for the sinner, the parent must teach the child about the way to life. Just as God has disciplined His disobedient children, so must we, for their good and our own. The rod is righteous. Discipline is divine. Spanking can be an act of spirituality. It is not always so, but that is a matter which we will deal with in our next lesson.
My friend, is it possible that you have been slack in using the rod because you do not want to conceive of God as a disciplinarian? Do you wish that God were patronizing rather than punishing sin? Many of us have failed in our child-raising simply because we do not like the model--God. Like it or not, the God of the Bible--Old Testament and New--is a God who deals with sin, whether in the life of a believer or an unbeliever.
You and I have a choice. We may either recognize our sin and accept the forgiveness which God has provided in the person of His Son, or we may suffer the consequences of our sins--eternally. If we choose His salvation, He will continue to chasten us for sin, but only so that we may grow and mature to be more like Him. How would you choose to face God, as a son or as a sinner who has rejected His Son? That is your choice, my friend. I pray that you will choose the way of wisdom, the way of life through the Lord Jesus Christ. He died on the cross of Calvary for your sins. He offers salvation to all who will trust in His work on Calvary. Trust Him today.
48 Richard Ruble, “Should Children Be Spanked?” Journal of Psychology and Theology, July, 1973, pp. 64-65.
49 Here, Ruble quotes Ginnot, p. 181, cited in above article, p. 64.
50 In this article Richard Ruble was said to have received his Master’s degree from Faith Seminary, the Doctor of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary, and was then serving as a professor of Bible and Psychology and Chairman of the Division of Biblical Studies at John Brown University.
51 “Should Children Be Spanked?,” p. 66.
52 In a published response to Dr. Ruble’s article, Alan R. McThomas pointed out many flaws in Ruble’s thinking. Mr. McThomas, then in doctoral studies at Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology, offers hope that not all who seek to integrate theology and psychology come out with the wrong conclusions. Cf. Alan R. McThomas, “Reaction,” Journal of Psychology and Theology, July, 1973, pp. 67-69.
53 Richard Ruble, “Should Children Be Spanked? A Reply To McThomas,” Journal of Psychology and Theology, October, 1973, P. 79.
54 Dr. Ruble writes, .” . . the references to striking a child might be considered merely a figure of speech for the idea that children need discipline of which spanking was a prominent example.” (“Should Children Be Spanked?” July, 1973, p. 65.) I have little problem with the statement itself, but in application Dr. Ruble virtually disregards the clear instruction of Proverbs to use the rod. For him, it would seem, classifying the “rod” as a figure of speech opens the door to a world of abuses. The “rod,” even if a figure of speech, symbolizes the kind of discipline Proverbs is speaking about, but it is this kind of discipline which Ruble refuses to consider relevant for today’s parents.
Principles of Divine Discipline
When the Bible speaks of the relationship between God and His people it does so in terms of the most intimate family relationships. At times the people of God are likened to a bride-to-be or a wife (e.g. Isa. 62:5; Jer. 3:32; Ezek. 16:32; Hos. 2:2; Eph. 5:22-33; Rev.21:9). At other times the relationship of believers to God is likened to that of a father to his son.
“Then you shall say to Pharaoh, ‘Thus says the Lord, “Israel is My son, My first-born’’” (Exod. 4:22).
“I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men, but My lovingkindness shall not depart from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you” (1 Sam. 7:14-15; cf. also Deut. 32:6; Isa. 63:17; 64:8; Jer. 3:19; 31:9).
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name (John 1:12).
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” (Rom. 8:15).
J. I. Packet believes that no other phrase sums up Christianity better than “the sons of God.”55 This relationship is especially helpful to parents who wish to discipline their children in a godly way, for the discipline which parents are to practice is patterned after that of our Father. Divine discipline is therefore the model for parental discipline.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Prov. 3:11-12).
And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4; cf. also Deut. 8:5; Heb. 12:7-13).
We have previously discussed why parents must discipline their children. We must use the rod because Proverbs commands US to (Cf. 13:24; 19:18; 23:13; 29:17). We must also use the rod because God does. If we are to be godly (God-like) then we must deal with sin just as God does. It is never godly to ignore evil. If we understand why we must discipline, certainly we should also seek to understand how we are to discipline. The pattern is that of God the Father as He disciplines His children. We will better grasp how the rod is to be employed in obedience to the instructions given in the Book of Proverbs if we consider the methods God employs in disciplining us.
This is the subject of our study--The Principles of Divine Discipline. Since this is an extensive subject, we must deal with it in two successive lessons.
We should understand that God deals differently with His children than He does unbelievers. Unbelievers are punished because of their unbelief and willful rejection of God’s provision for sinners (cf. Prov. 1:20-32). Since Christ has borne the punishment of those who have placed their faith in Him, Christians are not punished for their sins--they are chastened in order to bring them to obedience and maturity.
Going another step beyond this it is necessary to point out that the term “discipline” refers to God’s working in the life of His children in other ways than just correcting them for sins committed. In other words, God is said to discipline those who are not guilty of a specific sin. Notice several instances of this broader use of the term “discipline.”
“Out of the heavens He let you hear His voice to discipline you; and on earth He let you see His great fire, and you heard His words from the midst of the fire (Deut. 4:36).
“Thus you are to know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son. Therefore, you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to fear Him” (Deut. 8:5-6).
“And know this day that I am not speaking with your sons who have not known and who have not seen the discipline of the Lord your God--His greatness, His mighty hand, and His outstretched arm” (Deut. 11:2).
The word “discipline” appears in each of the verses, but not in a context of punishment for sin. In Deuteronomy 4:36 God “disciplined” Israel when He gave them the law from the mountain, demonstrating His glory and power by lightning flashes, sounds of the trumpet, and smoke from the mountain (Exod. 20:18,22). The purpose of the manifestation of God’s greatness was to cause Israel to fear the Lord God so that they might not sin (Exod. 20:20). We might call this preventative discipline.
In Deuteronomy 8:5 God spoke again of disciplining Israel. He did so by leading them in the wilderness, without normal supplies such as water and food. During those years the people of God were tested and were taught to trust God to meet their every need (8:2-3).It was in Israel’s time of need that they learned to fear God (8:6) and to trust and obey Him.
In Deuteronomy 11:2 the same kind of discipline is evident. God “disciplined” the Israelites by manifesting His greatness and power. By His works during the exodus and after God proved that He alone was worthy of Israel’s worship and obedience. It was on the basis of God’s greatness and His redemption of Israel that His commandments were to be obeyed (11:8-9).
The same kind of discipline described in these chapters of the Book of Deuteronomy is found elsewhere in the Old Testament, as well as in the New. Joseph endured the hardship of being betrayed by his brothers, of being a slave in a foreign land and a prisoner for no just cause (Gen. 37--41), not because of sin in his life, but in order to strengthen and prepare him for the responsibilities which were ahead (cf. Gen. 50:20).Job did not suffer on account of his sin, for God had called him “a blameless and upright man, fearing god and turning away from evil” (Job 1:8).
In this same sense even the Lord Jesus was “disciplined” by God in order to learn obedience in the midst of adversity.
In the days of His flesh, when He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and who was heard because of His piety, although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered; and having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation (Heb. 5:7-9).
This is why the writer to the Hebrews can say in chapter 12 that suffering is a normal Christian experience, one that is for our good and intended to make us holy (12:10).
It is at this very point that serious errors often occur. Some Christians are like Eliphaz, the “friend” of Job. He maintained that hardship and suffering (“discipline”) is always the result of sin in the life of the saint.
“Is it because of your reverence that He reproves you, that He enters into judgment against you? Is not your wickedness great, and your iniquities without end?” (Job 22:4-5)
Eliphaz was wrong. It was both “because of” Job’s reverence for God and “in order to produce” reverence for God that he was allowed to suffer at the hand of Satan. Suffering (“discipline”) is not necessarily due to sin.
While some hold the error of Eliphaz today, most reject such a thought altogether. They do not believe that God disciplines men for sin, let alone that He disciplines His children to produce Christian maturity even though they have not sinned. They are merely mouthing the error first uttered centuries ago by Satan in tempting Eve.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” (Gen. 3:1).
The inference of Satan’s question is obvious. How could a good and gracious God ever withhold something desirable from His children? The answer, Christians know, is that God did not withhold anything good, but prohibited something which would be detrimental to Adam and Eve. In addition, this prohibition (Satan would look on it as a deprivation) was a test of their faith in God and of their desire to obey Him, even when they did not understand the reasons for His command not to eat of that forbidden fruit.
It was the same reasoning which caused Satan to conclude that Job would only serve God when God made it worth his while. Let God bring adversity into Job’s life, he reasoned, and Job would forsake God in a moment. Job’s faith in God in the midst of his trials was something Satan simply could not fathom.
It is no wonder, then, that Satan sought to tempt our Lord by suggesting that He command stones to become bread. After all, Jesus had been in the wilderness for 40 days without nourishment. Surely God did not desire His Son to be deprived of a necessity like bread, did He? The answer of our Lord is a quotation from the 8th chapter of Deuteronomy. Obedience to God is more important than the satisfying of our bodily desires (Matt. 4:4). The reason God led the Israelites into the wilderness for 40 years was the same reason the Spirit of God led our Lord into the wilderness for 40 days: man needs to learn to depend on the Word of God more than anything else, including his daily bread. Just as Israel learned discipline in the wilderness, so did our Lord. Had He followed Satan’s suggestion, might He not also have reasoned that it could not possibly be God’s will for Him to suffer on the cross of Calvary? Discipline teaches God’s children to obey Him even when it hurts.
The process of disciplining children involves much more than just correcting them for wrongs committed. It involves helping them deal with the adversities of life in such a way as to grow in faith and to learn to obey God in those times when He appears to be absent or indifferent to their plight.
This kind of discipline, according to the passages in Deuteronomy, is intended to teach the people of God to fear the Lord and to turn away from evil. The Book of Proverbs, likewise, places a great deal of emphasis on the fear of the Lord (1:7; 9:10; 15:33, etc.). Parents must therefore endeavor to teach their children to respect them, and out of respect to obey, just as we must learn to fear God and turn from evil (Prov. 3:7; 8:13).
It would be going too far to say that parents should strive to make things difficult for their children, but I do believe that we need to be careful not to make life too easy. Many parents who have grown up doing without and having to work hard to get by are inclined to make life too easy for their own children. Life is difficult, and so is the Christian life. It is in the struggles of life that we often learn the most about living by faith, just as a tree sinks its roots deeper in response to drought. Let us strive to help our children come through the hard times by trusting in God and being faithful and obedient, rather than seeking always to keep them from the struggles of life.
The discipline which we find described in Deuteronomy 4, 8, and 11 is foundational to every other form of discipline. By revealing His power and might, God established His authority over Israel. No one need ask the question, “Why should I obey God?” The answer to that question was given long before the law was given through Moses. God has authority over men because He is the Creator of men (Gen. 1-2). In addition, God has authority over the Israelites because He brought them out of slavery in order to be His servants (Lev. 25:55). God has authority because of His great power and glory, as was demonstrated at the time of the giving of the law (cf. Exod. 20:18-26).
I like the question Dr. James Dobson asks, “Who is in charge here?” That is something which needs to be established very early in the life of a child. God began to discipline His people by clearly establishing His authority, His right to rule over them. He gave the nation Israel a constitution, but one that He alone composed. Just so, parents need to clearly establish their right to rule in the home. It is no coincidence, in my opinion, that children are small and parents big. That is one of the ways God demonstrates to the child that the parent has the right to rule. If for no other reason, the parent is bigger and stronger than the child, just as God is infinitely more powerful than us.
I find modern child-raising theories in a great deal of trouble if this is true, for we are told to deal with children on their level. We should talk to them as equals. We should come to an agreement as to what should be done in a democratic way. I think not. While a child must eventually come to make his own choices, that is not the way the child-raising process is to begin. Parents must very early establish the right to rule; then, by corrective discipline, they must reinforce this right every time it is challenged. “Who is in charge here?” The Bible tells us that we, as parents, are. Let us make this clear to our children. Might does not always make right, but it does establish the right to rule. Let us take up the reigns. Let us take charge in our families.
We find much instruction for parents in the way God dealt with the nation Israel. Not only did God firmly establish His right to rule, He also made the rules clear as to how His people were to conduct themselves. God, by means of the law, informed the Israelites of what was expected of them and the consequences of either obedience or disobedience.
“If you walk in My statutes and keep My commandments so as to carry them out, then I shall give you rains in their season, so that the land will yield its produce and the trees of the field will bear their fruit. Indeed, your threshing will last for you until grape gathering, and grape gathering will last until sowing time. You will thus eat your food to the full and live securely in your land” (Lev. 26:3-5).
“But if you do not obey Me and do not carry out all these commandments, if, instead, you reject PI statutes, and if your soul abhors My ordinances so as not to carry out all My commandments, and so break My covenant, I, in turn, will do this to you: I will appoint over you a sudden terror, consumption and fever that shall waste away the eyes and cause the soul to pine away; also, you shall sow your seed uselessly, for your enemies shall eat it up. And I will set My face against you so that you shall be struck down before your enemies; and those who hate you shall rule over you, and you shall flee when no one is pursuing you. If also after these things, you do not obey Me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins” (Lev. 26:14-18).
Here in the Book of Leviticus and elsewhere (e.g., Deut. 28) God made it clear that disobedience to His law would result in divine discipline. In the days of the judges, men did not live in-accordance with God’s law, but “everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judg. 21:25). Nehemiah, in his prayer of confession for the sins of his people, acknowledged that God had justly chastised His people for their neglect of His law (Neh. 9:29).It is clear that God’s corrective discipline falls upon those who are wicked--those who detest God’s words and refuse to obey them (of. Ps. 50:17).
While parents were given the responsibility of teaching their children the law of God (Deut. 6), God also raised up prophets who taught the law and warned the Israelites of the consequences of disobedience, but they nevertheless failed to hear or to obey (of. Jer. 2:30-31; 5:3-6; 7:28; 11:1-8; Ezek. 5:5-8). When God disciplined Israel by using other nations as His “rod” there was no doubt as to why He dealt with His people as He did.
There is a very important principle here for us as parents. While God has commanded us in Proverbs to use the “rod,” we should only correct children with the “rod” when they have willfully violated rules which have been clearly established and when the consequences of disobeying them have been carefully spelled out. Nothing will frustrate a child more quickly than being punished for doing something he did not know was wrong, or having the rules be in a continual state of flux. Let us be Godlike in our discipline by making the standards clear and simple, and let us enforce them consistently so that our children know what is required of them and the results of failing to obey.
There is yet another important principle to be seen here as well. God’s law contained not only precepts, but also principles. A very young child is capable of understanding and obeying a few simple rules, even when he does not yet grasp the reasons (e.g., “Don’t play with the electrical outlets”). Sooner or later, however, it is important for the parent to teach the child the reasons behind the rules. If there are no such reasons, the rule should be set aside. If there are valid reasons for the rules, the child should know them.
The Old Testament law contained far more than just a set of legalistic rules. Behind the specific commandments and prohibitions (precepts), there were principles. It was these principles on which the psalmist sought to meditate (cf. Ps. 119). Paul could thus refer to a text which commanded the farmer not to muzzle his ox and see its application to a preacher of the gospel (1 Cor. 9:8-9). It was the principles which the prophets sought to underscore (e.g., Hos. 6:6).In contrast, much of Judaism became preoccupied with the precepts, so much so that Jesus rightly accused the religious leaders with “straining gnats (the meticulous precepts of Pharisaism) and swallowing camels (the principles contained in the Old Testament law) (Matt. 23:24). The Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5--7) was our Lord’s interpretation of the law as opposed to that of the Pharisees. Like our Lord, the Old Testament prophets spoke of the primary matters of justice, mercy, and an obedient spirit more than of the petty violations of man-made rules.
While parental discipline is necessary, individual self-discipline is the goal. This is why Proverbs does not focus our attention on the precepts as much as on the principles which should govern life. The child who is addressed in the early chapters of Proverbs is viewed as the lad who is at the age where he must make his own decisions, where the parents cannot and will not continue to think for him. If a child is to grow up to be wise and godly He must do so out of his own desire for godliness--and his own discipline to deny himself of harmful pleasures and dangerous associations.
One of the great failures of Christian parents is that they tend to focus more on the rules than on the reasons, more on the precepts of life than the principles. If we would discipline our children as God dealt with Israel (and now deals with us), we will begin with the rules but soon direct the attention of our children to the reasons. That is how maturity is developed. We often send our children to college before they have learned to think. The reason is that we still demand unquestioning obedience from them, as though they were still little children. External discipline is necessary for the immature, but it (legalism) is devastating to the process of developing self-discipline. Let us be men and women of principle, and let us teach our children to be likewise.
When the term “rod” is encountered in Proverbs we almost automatically assume the reference is to a switch or a stick. Generally I would agree with this literal understanding of the “rod” in Proverbs. It must be pointed out, however, that the term “rod” is not so literally employed in other biblical passages (e.g., 2 Sam. 7:14; Job 9:34; Isa. 9:4; 10:5; Lam. 3:1; 1 Cor. 4:21), where it is used more broadly in reference to discipline or correction. I fear that some Christians have overlooked the many forms which discipline may take, resorting only to the switch, the belt, or the paddle. For those to whom the “rod” means only a spanking, let me draw your attention to the variety of forms divine discipline takes in Scripture.
In Leviticus 26:14-39 a wide range of possible consequences is described as the result of forsaking the law. When divine discipline takes place and is still rejected, even worse consequences may occur (26:18ff.). Deuteronomy 28 is another description of the results of disobedience to God’s law.
Often in Scripture men are disciplined by suffering the natural consequences of their sins.
“Have you not done this to yourself, by your forsaking the Lord your God, when He led you in the way? But now what are you doing on the road to Egypt, to drink the waters of the Nile? Or what ‘are you doing on the road to Assyria, to drink the waters of the Euphrates? Your own wickedness will correct you, and your apostasies will reprove you; Know therefore and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God, and the dread of Me is not in you,” declares the Lord God of hosts (Jer. 2:17-19).
David sinned by taking the wife of Uriah and by putting him to death. The consequences of his sin were directly related to his sin.
“Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be, your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.” Thus says the Lord, “Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes, and give them to your companion, and he shall lie with your wives in broad daylight” (2 Sam. 12: 9-11).
Just as David took the wife of Uriah, his wives would be taken. Just as David used the sword against Uriah, his house would suffer from the sword.
In the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, the father is likened to God, just as the prodigal is likened to the publicans and sinners whom Jesus came to save, and the “unprodigal” son represents the religious leaders of Jesus’ day who were sinners and didn’t admit it, and who resented the grace God had shown to the undeserving. While the father could have found some other way of punishing his son, he chose to let him take his inheritance and squander it. It was there in that pig pen among the pods that the young man came to his senses and determined to go to his father and seek his forgiveness. Discipline which would bring about repentance and restoration was better served by the rather allowing the son to fail than by using the literal rod.
There are a number of reasons why I believe variety is essential to effective parental discipline. Each of these can be seen by looking at the broader subject of divine discipline.
1. DIVINE DISCIPLINE USES ONLY THE AMOUNT OF FORCE/PAIN REQUIRED TO PRODUCE REPENTANCE. God’s purpose in disciplining His children is to correct them; there is no need to inflict any more pain than is required to bring about their repentance. In Proverbs we are taught that a wise man is corrected merely by a rebuke, while a fool is barely impressed by a beating (9:7-9; 17:10). A “rod” is required only for those who are unable or unwilling to listen to reason, for it is only pain which will get their attention (19:29; 26:3; 29:19). If a child is wise enough to be corrected by a word, why beat him once genuine repentance is achieved? (There are several other factors involved here, but we shall discuss them later.)
2. DIVINE DISCIPLINE IS TAILORED TO THE INDIVIDUAL WHO IS BEING DISCIPLINED. In the Scriptures God punishes unbelievers and chastens His sons as individuals. For example, in Luke 12:47-48 the slave who knew his master’s will and disobeyed received many lashes, while the slave who did not know it received but few. God deals with us according to the maturity consonant with our spiritual age. In the early days the Corinthian Christians were not rebuked for being “fleshy” or immature, but after considerable time had passed, they were carnal (I Cor. 3:1-3). Also, because of the influence we have over others, leaders are dealt with more severely than followers (cf. Jer. 23; Ezek. 34; Matt. 23; Mark 9:42; Luke 17:1-2; James 3:1). Furthermore, God not only deals with us according to our actions, but also our attitudes and motives (Matt. 5:21-37; 1 Cor. 4:5).
Divine discipline takes into account the fact that a problem in performance may be the result of any number of difficulties, some of which are sinful and others of which are not.
And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men (1 Thess. 5:14).
Sometimes we are inclined to deal with everyone alike. Some are so zealous to rebuke and reform that they rebuke everyone who fails without regard to the reason for their failure. For example, suppose that my child failed to wash the windows as I had instructed. If the child is small and cannot reach the windows, her failure is not her fault. She is unable to do what I have instructed. If I have provided her with a ladder but she is afraid of heights, I need to encourage and reassure her, perhaps to support her on the ladder, but not to spank her. If she has disobeyed out of willfulness, a rebuke or the rod is in order. Divine discipline deals with individuals in the light of who and what they are. Our discipline must likewise be individualized.
3. DIVINE DISCIPLINE BRINGS ABOUT REPENTANCE IN THE MOST APPROPRIATE AND EFFECTIVE WAY. We have already seen how God disciplined David in a way that was fitting for the sins he committed. When we use the paddle for virtually every corrective problem we may often be using a method of discipline which is not appropriate and is therefore less effective. For example, if your 17 year-old son stays out past your parental curfew, he would much rather receive a spanking than be grounded for a period of time. But losing his social privileges is more appropriate and more instructive than a licking, in my opinion. Just so, the pig pen and the pea pods were more effective in correcting the prodigal son than a spanking would have been. Let us choose the kind of “rod” we employ as carefully as God does.
Let me briefly summarize the principles of divine discipline which I have sought to teach in this lesson. First, we must not only discipline our children because God disciplines His, but we must discipline our children like God disciplines His. Divine discipline is therefore the pattern for parental discipline.
Second, discipline involves much more than just dealing with our children when they sin. Discipline begins by establishing our right to rule in the family. Discipline teaches our children that we, as parents, have been given both the wisdom and the strength to be in charge in the family. We are not pals or peers to our children, but parents--a very important distinction.
Third, we have an obligation to make the rules clear to our children so that discipline is the predictable and promised result of the violation of carefully defined standards of conduct. Children need to know what we expect of them and what will happen when they choose to violate these standards. We also need to be diligent in explaining the reasons behind the rules and the principles behind the precepts.
Finally, the paddle is not a panacea--the solution to all evils. The literal “rod” should be employed when children cannot or will not listen to reason. As children develop the ability to reason, means other than spanking should be utilized, always being determined in accordance to which “rod” will be most effective in bringing about repentance.
As you can already see, spanking is not nearly as simple a matter as it may at one time have seemed. Discipline, like every other area of the Christian life, is a matter that requires wisdom from above. Let us seek that wisdom as we endeavor to use the “rod” righteously.
55 J. I. Packer has said on this matter: “You sum up the whole of New Testament teaching in a single phrase if you speak of it as a revelation of the Fatherhood of the holy Creator. In the same way, you sum up the whole of the New Testament religion if you describe it as the knowledge of God as one’s holy Father. If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God’s child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all. For everything that Christ taught, everything that makes the New Testament new, and better than the Old, everything that is distinctively Christian as opposed to merely Jewish, is summed up in the knowledge of the Fatherhood of God. ‘Father’ is the Christian name for God.” J. I. Packer, Knowing God (Downers Grove: Inter-Varsity Press, 1975), P. 182. I strongly recommend reading the chapter entitled, “Sons of God.” Indeed, the entire book is a spiritual feast.
Wrath and the Rod
No matter what the issue may be there are almost always at least two extremes to which one may go, either of which is wrong. This is true, for example, when it comes to anger. In an article entitled “What to Do with Your Anger,” Margaret Johnston Hess describes one of these extremes:
A hardworking, middle-class father brooded for months over his 19-year-old daughter’s insistence on living in a downtown apartment rather than in the attractive suburban home he had worked so hard to provide for his family. He felt she was getting in with the wrong crowd. His fury mounted till one night he took a gun and went to her apartment determined to bring her home. When he found her sleeping in a room with three young men, one of them in bed with her, he shot at the boy nearest her and instead killed his daughter.
In agony of remorse, he turned himself in immediately to the police. He had expressed his anger56
On the surface, it would seem that the problem with this father was that he had expressed his anger. I would be inclined to view the matter differently, however. believe this father made his fundamental mistake before the incident in his daughter’s apartment in that he had tried to suppress his anger rather than express it by taking appropriate action before his anger got out of control.
Margaret Johnston Hess provides us with an excellent illustration of the danger of suppressing anger when she writes,
Near a town in the state of Washington, millions of gallons of radioactive atomic wastes are being stored in huge underground tanks. The tanks have a life expectancy of 22 or 30 years. The wastes within them will remain deadly for about 600 years.57
Those who attempt to suppress anger, rather than to express it in a righteous way, find that their anger, like the atomic wastes mentioned above, cannot be contained.
While some Christians have difficulties controlling their tempers, many of the rest of us err by suppressing our anger, perhaps even to the point of denying it exists. This hidden anger has a way of eventually erupting, often doing a great deal of damage to our relationships.
If the expression of anger has become a taboo in Christian circles, it is especially condemned in the disciplining of our children. Repeatedly we are told, “Never discipline your child in anger!” I would like to suggest that while much of the discipline which is carried out in anger is sinful and harmful, it need not be so--indeed, it should not be so. It is for this reason that I have devoted this lesson to a study of the relationship of wrath (anger) to discipline.
Those who would teach that the “rod” (discipline) should never be used when we are angry must conclude that parental discipline is different from divine discipline, for it is clear in the Scriptures that God disciplines His children in anger.
“You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless” (Exod. 22:22-24).
Now the people became like those who complain of adversity in the hearing of the Lord; and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp (Num. 11:1, cf. also vv. 10,33).
Therefore the Lord heard and was full of wrath, and a fire was kindled against Jacob, and anger also mounted against Israel . . . . The anger of God rose against them, and killed some of their stoutest ones, and subdued the choice men of Israel (Ps. 78:21,31).
Rouse yourself. Rouse yourself. Arise, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the Lord’s hand the cup of His anger; the chalice of reeling you have drained to the dregs (Isa. 51:17).
I looked, and behold, the fruitful land was a wilderness, and all its cities were pulled down before the Lord, before His fierce anger (Jer. 4:26).
I am the man who has seen affliction because of the rod of His wrath (Lam. 3:1).
Few would dispute the anger of the Lord in the Old Testament, but many tend to think of the God of the Old Testament as somehow different from the God of the New Testament. Nevertheless our Lord was angered by the sin of men (Mark 3:5; cf. Matt. 21:12-14) and in parables in which God was portrayed as a man, He was angered at unrighteousness (e.g. Matt. 18:34; Luke 14:21). The Book of Revelation also speaks of those who have chosen to reject and resist God as drinking the cup of His anger (Rev. 14:10).
Not all anger is divine. For this reason, James teaches us that the “anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (1:20). Paul believed that while anger may be justified, it could lead us to sin: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26). Let us carefully consider the kind of anger that is righteous by seeking to derive from the Scriptures some of the characteristics of God’s holy anger.
1. RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS OCCASIONED BY SIN. Throughout Israel’s history, God’s indignation was kindled by the sin of His wayward and disobedient people.
Hear the word of the Lord, O kings of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem: thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, “Behold I am about to bring a calamity upon this place, at which the ears of everyone that hears of it will tingle Because they have forsaken Me and have made this an alien place and have burned sacrifices in it to other gods that neither they nor their forefathers nor the kings of Judah had ever known, and because they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent and have built the high places of Baal to burn their sons in the fire as burnt offerings to Baal, a thing which I never commanded or spoke of, nor did it ever enter NV mind; therefore, behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when this place will no longer be called Topheth or the valley of Ben-hinnom, but rather the valley of Slaughter” (Jer. 19:3-6).
Proverbs views the king as being appropriately angered by sin.
The king’s favor is toward a servant who acts wisely, But his anger is toward him who acts shamefully (Prov. 14:35).
Likewise in the New Testament, governments are divinely appointed to exercise wrath on the sinner.
For it (government] is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath upon the one who practices evil (Rom. 13:4).
In every instance that I have found in the Scriptures God is angered only by man’s sin. If man’s anger is to be righteous it must be indignation occasioned by sin. Merely human anger is sin (Matt. 5:22; Eph. 4:31), brought about by our self-centeredness and impatience.
2. RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS NOT AN OCCASION FOR SIN. God’s anger is not only properly founded (on man’s sin), but it is also properly focused. In every instance of divine discipline, God’s people must acknowledge that God has disciplined in righteousness. This is expressed in the prayer of Nehemiah for his people:
“Now therefore, our God, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who dost keep covenant and lovingkindness, do not let all the hardship seem insignificant before Thee, which has come upon us, our kings, our princes, our priests, our prophets, our fathers, and on all Thy people, from the days of the kings of Assyria to this day.
However, Thou are just in all that hast come upon us; for Thou hast dealt faithfully, but we have acted wickedly” (Neh. 9:32-33).
God never delights in the discipline of His children. It is something which He does reluctantly and regretfully. Divine discipline is God’s “unusual task” (Isa. 28:21).
In the beginning of the reign of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, this word came from the Lord, saying, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Stand in the court of the Lord’s house, and speak to all the cities of Judah, who have come to worship in the Lord’s house, all the words that I have commanded you to speak to them. Do not omit a word! Perhaps they will listen and everyone will turn from his evil way, that I may repent of the calamity which I am planning to do to them because of the evil of their deeds’” (Jer. 26:1-3).
God’s discipline was severe, but never abusive. There are those who would seek to justify their brutality by citing biblical passages. Let them take note of the fact that God’s anger is never out of control, nor does He discipline without mercy or deal with His children apart from grace.
For their heart was not steadfast toward Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant. But He, being compassionate, forgave their iniquity, and did not destroy them; and often He restrained His anger, and did not arouse all His wrath. Thus He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not return (Ps. 78:37-39).
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us; nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him (Ps. 103:8-11).
In 2 Samuel 24 David sinned against the Lord by numbering the Israelites (v. 1).Through the prophet Gad, David was told that he could choose the form his discipline would take; he had three options: (a) seven years of famine; (b) three months of defeat at the hand of his enemies; or (e) three days of pestilence (v. 13). David chose the latter, for this reason:
“I am in great distress. Let us now fall into the hand of the Lord for His mercies are great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man” (v. 14).
David had learned what we all need to know and to practice in parental discipline: God’s discipline is always carried out in mercy and grace.
3. RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS NEVER A DENIAL OF LOVE, BUT A DEMONSTRATION OF LOVE. God does not forsake his love for us when He disciplines us; He disciplines us when we have forsaken His love.
Then the Spirit of God came on Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest; and he stood above the people and said to them, “Thus God has said, ‘Why do you transgress the commandments of the Lord and do not prosper? Because you have forsaken the Lord, He has also forsaken you’” (2 Chron. 24:20).
“But this people has a stubborn and rebellious heart; they have turned aside and departed.
They do not say in their heart, ‘Let us now fear the Lord our God, who gives rain in its season, both the autumn rain and the spring rain, who keeps for us the appointed weeks of the harvest.’
Your iniquities have turned these away, and your sins have withheld good from you” (Jer. 5:23-25).
“You who have forsaken Me,” declares the Lord, “You keep going backward. So I will stretch out My hand against you and destroy you; I am tired of relenting” (Jer. 15:6).
“But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you, and will remove your lampstand out of its place--unless you repent” (Rev. 2:4-5).
God’s anger, as expressed in the discipline of His children, is not contrary to love, but consistent with it. Some would tell us that the rod is wrong because it is not the loving thing to do. The Bible tells us the opposite.
I know, 0 Lord, that Thy judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness Thou hast afflicted me (Ps. 119:75).
For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Prov. 3:12).
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives” (Heb. 12:5-6).
“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent” (Rev. 3:19).
The Book of Proverbs tells parents that to love their child is to discipline him, and to fail to chasten him is to hate him.
He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently (13:24).
The righteous indignation of the parent toward the rebellious attitude and the disobedience of the child is due to the fact that such attitudes and conduct are not in the child’s best interest, but rather will lead to his destruction. Anger (and the rod) are not inconsistent with love, but are the outworking of love.
4. RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS SLOWLY AROUSED. The godly are God-like in being slow to anger, while the wicked are quickly incited to anger.
But Thou, O Lord, art a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth (Ps. 86:15).
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly (Prov. 14:29).
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city (Prov. 16:32; of. also 19:11).
This you know, my beloved brethren. But let every one be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
Righteous anger is not volatile--it does not have a hair-trigger. Such hasty indignation is human, sinful anger, which has no place in the Christian life and no positive contribution to make to the parenting process.
5. RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS PROMPTLY EXPRESSED AND NOT UNNECESSARILY PROLONGED.58 If God is slow to anger, He is not slow to act once He is angered. The outpouring of God’s anger in divine discipline comes swiftly and severely, but is over shortly.
“I, in turn, will do this to you: I will appoint over you a sudden terror” (Lev. 26:16),
So He brought their days to an end in futility, and their years in sudden terror (Ps. 78:33).
Therefore his calamity will come suddenly; Instantly he will be broken, and there will be no healing (Prov. 6:15).
A man who hardens his neck after much reproof Will suddenly be broken beyond remedy (Prov. 29:1).
Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to do evil (Eceli8:11).
But these things shall come on you suddenly in one day: loss of children and widowhood. They shall come on you in full measure in spite of your many sorceries, in spite of the great power of your spells (Isa. 47:9, cf. also v. 11).
While they are saying, “Peace and safety!” then destruction will come upon them suddenly like birth pangs upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape (1 Thess. 5:3).
I believe there is a principle here for us to apply, not only in the raising of our children, but in all our relationships: our anger should be promptly and expressed.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity (Eph. 4:26-27).
Some Christians have concluded that all anger is evil and have therefore attempted to suppress anger, even if it is rightly motivated. I believe that anger which is not handled quickly, even when it is righteous anger, can turn sour and may give Satan a point of weakness to exploit in our lives.
In the 37th Psalm, David exhorts the righteous not to be distressed over one fact that the wicked sin and go unchecked. In this instance, the solution is beyond the control of the upright and so they must learn not to fret on account of evildoers, but must commit themselves (and divine retribution) to God, who will ultimately make matters right. We too must deal with our anger by committing ourselves to God, trusting Him to bring retribution rather than seeking vengeance ourselves. Even in a c;7a such as this, where we are not to take action against the sinner, we must quickly submit our anger to the Lord, lest it lead us into sin.
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom. 12: 17-19).
But while we must not seek revenge and we may not be able to correct evil (i.e., in general, we are responsible to correct our children when they do wrong). Unnecessary delays in disciplining our children may allow our anger to get to the boiling point, and it may lead our child to the erroneous conclusion that it is possible to get away with sin. Correction, I believe the Bible teaches, is to be quickly administered because our anger should not be allowed to brew too long.
If the “bad news” is that God’s discipline comes quickly once His wrath has been aroused, the “good news” is that His anger passes quickly.
Sing praise to the Lord, you His godly ones, and give thanks to His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning (Ps. 30:4-5).
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us; nor will He keep His anger forever (Ps. 103:8-9).
“For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In an outburst of anger I hid my face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord your Redeemer (Isa. 54:7-8).
6. THE ROD DISPLAYS RIGHTEOUS ANGER, BUT IT ALSO DISPELS IT. One of the reasons why divine anger quickly passes is because discipline satisfies the demands of God’s righteousness, and therefore appeases His wrath.
“Thus My anger will be spent, and I will satisfy My wrath on them, and I shall be appeased; then they will know that I, the Lord, have spoken in My zeal when I have spent II wrath upon them” (Ezek. 5:13).
One of the great doctrines of the Bible is that of propitiation. Students of the New Testament understand that the death of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary satisfied the righteous anger of God toward the sinner. A part of the good news Of the gospel is that man no longer needs to dread the wrath of an angry God. The work of Christ on the cross puts the sinner at peace with God, or, conversely, puts God at peace with the sinner.
My little children, I am writing these things to you that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world (1 John 2:1-2).
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:10).
It was not the physical pain of the cross that our Lord dreaded (Matt.26:3646) as much as it was enduring the wrath of God. Those who have placed their faith in the person and work of Christ recognize that He has borne the wrath which we deserve, for as unbelievers we were “children of wrath” (Eph. 2:3). Those who trust in Christ need no longer fear the wrath of God on sinners, for our Lord has suffered in our place.
He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him (John 3:36).
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. for if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life (Rom. 5:8-10).
Noah and his family passed through the ordeal of the Flood, as did the others of his day. The critical difference was that Noah did so in the ark, while the rest were outside. It was the ark that endured the wrath of the storm and that saved those who were within. So too it is being “in Christ” that saves a man or a woman. The wrath of God fell upon Him. In Him we have endured God’s wrath and in Him we have everlasting life. A part of the joy of being saved is knowing that God’s righteous anger has been satisfied in Christ.
Properly administered, parental discipline dispels anger, just as divine discipline does. In the first place, parental discipline satisfies the righteous anger of the parent. When I used to teach in a public school, it was interesting to sense the relief of the entire class (and especially the one who was disciplined) when we would come in from the hall and I would put the paddle back in the closet. Those students knew that it was over--finished. Justice had been carried out.
In another sense I believe that the rod also relieves the anger of the one who is disciplined. I have seen many children who have built up some real hostility, but after a brief session in the hall their anger was gone. The rod brings with those tears, it would seem, the anger, which can build up in the child. The child who is not corrected, who is “left to himself” (Prov. 29:15), tends to store up greater and greater amounts of hostility until he is ready to explode in some very detrimental kind of conduct. The rod relieves the pressure of such feelings by dispelling them.
I find a biblical illustration of this in the way David failed to deal with his son Absalom. Amnon raped Absalom’s sister, Tamar. David became very angry over this incident, but failed to take any corrective action (2 Sam. 13:21-22). Absalom was incensed over this incident; but he, like his father, did nothing about it--for a time. Finally, Absalom got revenge by killing Amnon (13:23-29). Absalom fled for his life and David, having been comforted concerning Amnon, failed to send for Absalom until he was prodded to do so (14:1-21). Even after David had sent for Absalom, he did not deal with the evil he had committed, but insisted that he remain in his own House and not see the king’s face (14:24). As a result, Absalom became very bitter in spirit and purposed to take the kingdom from his father.
Had David decisively disciplined Amnon, Absalom might never have committed murder. And had David dealt with the sin of his son Absalom, his kingdom would likely not have been in such turmoil. If David would have properly disciplined Absalom for his sin, then the anger and bitterness of Absalom would have been appeased.
I do not wish in any way to try to sanctify sinful, human anger. The Bible teaches that this kind of anger should be put away. Some who read this message may be tempted to use it to justify their bad temper and their brutality toward their wife, their children, and others. The vast majority of the anger we express is sinful, not spiritual. God forbid that we should use His Word to “sanctify” our sin. That is a part of the old self that must be put off (Col. 2:5-11).
I confess to you that most of the anger which I feel toward my children and their actions is not of the right kind and is often not handled biblically. Nevertheless, I must also say that it is about time you and I who have come to view passivity and complacency as piety get mad. If we are to be godly, we need to be angered by sin; and we should do something about it, even if it is only to pray about it (cf. Psa. 37; 73). While some Christians sin by getting angry, many more sin by failing to get angry when they should.
Henry Ward Beecher is reported to have said,
A man who does not know how to be angry, does not know how to be good. A man who does not know how to be shaken to his heart’s core with indignation over things evil, is either a fungus, or a wicked man.59
And Powell Davies has written,
That is one of the truly serious things that has happened to the multitude of so-called ordinary people. They have forgotten how to be indignant. This is not because they are overflowing with human kindness, but because they are morally soft and compliant. When they see evil and injustice, they are pained but not revolted. They mutter and mumble, (but] they never cry out. They commit the sin of not being angry.
Yet their anger is the one thing above all others that would make them count. If they cannot lead crusades, or initiate reforms, they can at least create the conditions in which crusades can be effectual and reforms successful. The wrath of the multitude could bring back decency and integrity into public life; it could frighten the corrupt demagogue into silence and blast the rumor-monger into oblivion. It could give honest leaders a chance to win.60
As George Matheson, the Scottish hymn-writer and preacher once said, “There are times when I do well to be angry, but I have mistaken the times.” 61
To say that we are not to discipline in anger may suggest to some that we are never to discipline our child when we are angry--which is probably why some of us discipline so seldom. And the rest of us fail to discipline because we are not angry enough. To say that we should never discipline in anger is like saying we should never eat when we are hungry, or saying we should never cry when we feel sad. There is nothing wrong with the emotion of anger, so long as it is properly founded and properly focused. If our anger causes us to lose self-control and to injure or abuse our children, let us learn to control it, just as we must learn to control other emotions and appetites. But let us not condemn anger altogether--that is going too far.
For those who would tell us that to spank children is to give them “a taste of the jungle,” I can only say that it is more cruel and inhumane not to spank (or discipline in some other way) than it is to employ the rod. Many parents have abused their children by not making use of the rod. The anger of the parent continues to build until, in rage, the parent strikes the child with a fist, or a lamp, or shoots him with a gun. Many a child has become angry and hostile because he has not been disciplined as in the example of Absalom.
Let us first experience the joy of knowing that God’s anger toward sinners has been propitiated, satisfied, through the redemptive work of the cross. Let us then seek to understand and apply the principles of divine wrath and the rod to the parenting process, by God’s grace and to His glory.
56 Margaret Johnston Hess, “What to Do with Your Anger,” Eternity, April,1972.
58 It is vital that we differentiate here between God’s discipline, His chastening of His children, and God’s judgment on unbelievers. God’s anger is not promptly expressed on unbelievers, so that men may have additional opportunity to repent, (2Pet. 3:9). Once God’s wrath on unbelievers is commenced there will be no turning back (cf. 2 Thess. 2:11-12), and this wrath is eternal. A good part of the reason for the differences between discipline (of believers) and judgment (of non-believers) is to be explained by the differences in the purposes of each. Discipline is corrective, but judgment is punitive.
59 No reference information available.
60 Norman V. Hope, “How to Be Good--and Mad,” Christianity Today, July 19. P. 119.
The Purposes, the Process,
and the Privilege of Divine Discipline
Whenever I am asked to marry a couple, one of the things I seek to learn is the level of commitment each has to the permanence of their relationship. This commitment to permanence has a profound impact on the relationship. Let me explain why.
In recent times all too many marriages have been based upon a conditional commitment to each other. Both are committed to the other as long as their partner lives up to their expectations, as long as each partner feels happy and fulfilled. Whenever problems arise in the relationship, each person recognizes that there is an alternative, an escape--divorce. When we assume that we don’t have to endure an unpleasant relationship any longer than we wish, we put forth considerably less effort to make the relationship grow and deepen. Investing in a marriage that could end is about as reasonable as seeking to increase your payments into the Social Security system.
A Christian marriage should be entered with a commitment to permanence. As our Lord put it, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:6).When a Christian couple encounters conflict (as they inevitably will), they must deal with their problems with this thought in mind: “No matter what, I am going to spend the rest of my life with this person.” I must tell you that this commitment changes the way we solve problems in our relationship. If you knew you might never have to see your wife again you might be tempted to say and do some nasty things. However, since you know that tomorrow and the next day and the next you will have to live, work, and commune with her, you would be more careful not to damage your relationship. The permanence of a relationship governs the way we seek to solve conflicts which arise within it.
In regard to the process of discipline this same principle is true in child raising. Divine discipline is God’s dealing in the lives of His sons in order to make us obedient and faithful children. No matter what happens, we will always be His children, once we have become a child of His b faith in Christ. God’s dealings with us are governed by the fact that we are and will always be His children. So, too, the discipline of our children is governed by the fact that we are chastening our children. Our relationship with our child governs the use of the “rod.”
In this message I want to focus on several important principles which should govern parenting. The first has to do with the purposes and goals of discipline. The second defines the process involved in discipline. The third is a reminder of the privilege of discipline. Let us consider these important truths as we conclude our study of child-training in Proverbs.
One’s relationship with God determines how God will deal with him. The difference is between that of discipline and of damnation. When God condemns a person to eternal damnation He is giving that person both what he wants and what he deserves. God is absolutely just and righteous in judging the sinner.
When God disciplines a son He does so not to punish as much as to correct. Rehabilitation, a term used frequently in reference to the prison system, has much more relevance to the Christian than to the criminal. God disciplines His sons in order to turn them from their evil way to the way of wisdom and righteousness. God’s children do not need to be punished, for Christ has borne their punishment on the cross of Calvary. Divine discipline is therefore more corrective than it is punitive.
While divine discipline has many purposes, the one which I would like to focus on is the purpose of reunion or reconciliation Sin always separates man from God. When Adam and Eve sinned, they withdrew themselves from the intimate communion they had formerly enjoyed with Him (Gen. 3:8). Those who have rejected God’s provision of salvation in Christ will be eternally separated from the presence of God (2 Thess. 1:9).The death of Christ has removed the barrier between man and God. Those who have trusted in Christ have been reconciled to God (Rom. 5:10; 2 Cor. 5:18; Col. 1: 20-21).
While sin in the life of the Christian can never separate him from Christ in the sense of losing his salvation, sin always impairs the intimacy and the enjoyment of the relationship between the saint and the Savior. We commonly refer to the loss of intimacy between the Christian and the Lord as “being out of fellowship.” While I do not find this a very precise use of the term “fellowship,” I do agree with the state it is attempting to describe. When a husband and wife are having a “fight” they are not “out of marriage” with each other. Their relationship simply deteriorates and falls short of its potential during such disharmony. So, too, the Christian cannot enjoy his relationship with God when he is willfully sinning:
When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Thy hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever-heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to Thee, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and Thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin (Ps. 32:3-5; cf. Ps. 51).
One of the purposes of divine discipline is to remove the barrier to the enjoyment of “fellowship,” and to restore the relationship between God and the sinning saint--to one of intimacy and enjoyment rather than one of uneasiness and alienation. The unbeliever is ultimately punished by being eternally put away from God’s presence (2 Thess.1:9), but the sinning saint is disciplined in order that he may once again have intimate communion with God:
‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me’ (Rev. 3:19-20).
Divine discipline, then, seeks at least two goals: righteousness and relationship. God’s discipline seeks to restore the wayward saint from sin to sanctification and to remove the strain of sin from the relationship so that intimacy and communion may be repaired.
Divine discipline may require a temporary alienation or separation in order to bring about repentance and reunion. In the case of the Corinthian Christian who was living in flagrant sin, Paul taught that he should be shunned, put out of fellowship, even turned over to Satan for discipline, but the goal of this discipline was restoration (cf. 1 Cor. 5:1-13). In the case of the prodigal son of Luke 15, the son actually removed himself, but eventually returned.
I know there are those who teach that isolation is not a very good method of discipline, but I am not sure I can agree with them. If parental discipline is to be patterned after divine discipline, why should isolation not be considered a viable option? Sin does separate. Christians should separate themselves from certain sinners (Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Cor. 5), and God certainly is going to separate unbelievers from His power and presence (2 Thess. 1:9). Temporary isolation or separation is certainly a sample of the consequences of sin, and may therefore be an appropriate method of disciplining a disobedient child.
The primary objection concerning isolation is that it may breed resentment and bitterness. While this is certainly possible, a spanking may also result in resentment--if the child chooses to respond foolishly. We must remember that the Holy Spirit can work in the heart of a child and a little solitude may provide just the right environment for contemplation and soul-searching. Let us not quickly or thoughtlessly reject sending a child to their room as a possible method of disciplining a child.
The important thing about divine discipline is that since our relationship as sons of God is not terminated by sin, discipline is always conducted in the hope of repentance and the restoration of intimacy. The judgment of sinners has no such hope. Whenever I read of God’s discipline in the Bible, no matter how severe the sin or how prolonged, God always seeks repentance and always offers the hope of forgiveness and reunion. Even in the midst of suffering for her great sins against God Israel could still look to God, knowing He is compassionate and forgiving and that there was hope:
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. . . For the Lord will not reject forever, for if He causes grief, then He will have compassion according to His abundant lovingkindness. For He does not afflict willingly, or grieve the sons of men (Lam. 3:22-25, 31-33).
Even when God warns of imminent judgment, there is either an explicit or an implicit assurance that God desires to withhold His wrath if His people will repent and turn from their evil ways:
Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Can I not, O house of Israel, deal with you as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel. At one moment I might speak concerning a nation or concerning a kingdom to uproot, to pull down, or to destroy it, if that nation against which I have spoken turns from its evil, I will relent concerning the calamity I planned to bring on it (Jer. 18:5-8).
Jeremiah knew that after God had disciplined His people to turn their hearts back to Him He would once again show compassion on them and bring them back into the land. There He would shower His blessings on them:
“And it will come about that after I have uprooted them, I will again have compassion on them; and I will bring them back, each one to his inheritance and each one to his land” (Jer. 12:15).
In almost every instance where God sent His prophets to warn His people of coming wrath, there was a “way of escape” provided. Thus, discipline could be averted and intimacy with God renewed:
Listen and give heed, do not be haughty, for the Lord has spoken. Give glory to the Lord your God, before He brings darkness and before your feet stumble on the dusky mountains, and while you are hoping for light He makes it into deep darkness, and turns it into gloom (Jer. 13:15-16).
There was a point of no return for the people of God. When Isaiah was called to prophesy, Israel had already passed the time for repentance and Isaiah’s words were those of impending doom (cf. Isa. 6:9-12). Yet even then there was hope, for God had promised to preserve a remnant through which He would fulfill all His covenant promises (Isa. 6:13; cf. Rom. 11:1-10).
Here we come to one of the primary purposes of prophecy--to produce hope, even in the midst of tribulation. While much of prophecy is a warning of what will happen if God’s people persist in their sin, the remainder is largely a promise of what God is going to do by way of restoration and blessing once His chastisement has achieved His purposes:
The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘Write all the words which I have spoken to you in a book. For behold, days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will restore the fortunes of My people Israel and Judah.’ The Lord says, ‘I will also bring them back to the land that I gave to their forefathers, and they shall possess it’” (Jer. 30:1-2).
‘And fear not, O Jacob My servant,’ declares the Lord, and do not be dismayed, O Israel; For behold, I will save you from afar, and your offspring from the land of their captivity. And Jacob shall return, and shall be quiet and at ease, and no one shall make him afraid. For I am with you,’ declares the Lord, ‘to save you; for I will destroy completely all the nations where I have scattered you, only I will not destroy you completely. But I will chasten you justly, and will by no means leave you unpunished’ (Jer. 30:10-11).
The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness. . . Hear the word of the Lord, 0 nations, and declare in the coastlands afar off, and say, “He who scattered Israel will gather him, and keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock. . . . For I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and give them joy for their sorrow” (Jer. 31:3,10,13b).
Perhaps the most significant passage is found in the same chapter in the Book of Jeremiah. In the midst of all their tribulation on account of their waywardness, God sounds a note of hope and triumph. God has disciplined His people to bring them to repentance and to restore them to the place from which they have willfully departed:
Thus says the Lord, “Restrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded,” declares the Lord, “And they shall return from the land of the enemy. And there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord, “And your children shall return to their own territory. I have surely heard Ephraim grieving, ‘Thou has chastened me, and I was chastised, like an untrained calf; Bring me back that I may be restored, for Thou art the Lord my God. For after I turned back, I repented; and after I was instructed, I smote on my thigh; I was ashamed, and also humiliated, because I bore the reproach of my youth.’ “Is Ephraim My dear son? Is he a delightful child? Indeed, as often as I have spoken against him, I certainly still remember him; Therefore My heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him,” declares the Lord (Jer. 31:16-20).
In these prophetic passages, especially the last one, I find a remarkable parallel to the discipline of children as taught in the Book of Proverbs. Did you notice that God’s love for His people was likened to that of a father for his son (cf. Prov. 3:11-12)?The discipline or chastening which Israel received was compared specifically to that which is typical of a young person (Jer. 31:19).God’s discipline, though severe, was of those He dearly loved, and was for the purpose of bringing them to repentance and restoration (cf. 31:18-19).
So it is that we find Proverbs describing discipline as life-saving and life-giving. Parental discipline is not only to be carried out in hope, but it should also offer hope to the child:
For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life (6:23).
He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, But he who forsakes reproof goes astray (10:17).
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death (13:14).
He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently (13:24).
Stern discipline is for him who forsakes the way; He who hates reproof will die (15:10).
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death (19:18, NIV).
From this we should learn that parental discipline should never lead a child to despair, but rather to repentance. Parental discipline that is modeled after God’s discipline should employ the rod, but we should also make it clear that God provides a remedy for sin. When men are humbled by discipline to confess their sins and repent, God will forgive them and renew them to the place of intimate communion with Him.
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. How blessed is the man who fears always, But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity (28:13-14).
Whenever I find divine discipline in the Bible I observe that it is carried out in the context of an intimate relationship. God’s disobedient people are described in terms of His wife (e.g. Jer. 31:32) or of His son (31:20). God’s discipline is the result of His care and His concern as a loving father. Discipline is necessary to correct the disobedience of God’s people and to restore the relationship which has been hindered by sin. God disciplines in order to restore, not to destroy. God always provides a remedy and always offers hope. The disobedient child of God knows that his heavenly Father eagerly yearns for His wayward child to return. That is certainly one message in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32).
One of the lessons I see for us as parents is that the hope of repentance and restoration is to some degree determined by the quality of the relationship which exists between parent and child. What makes repentance and reunion so appealing to the sinner is the incomparable blessing of being a child of God, in harmony with Him. The prodigal son would have had little incentive to return to his father unless the relationship were one that he desired to see restored. Many of us as parents may not have the kind of relationship with our children which motivates repentance and reconciliation.
Let us seek to be God-like in this regard. Let us strive to develop a relationship with our children which demonstrates love and concern. Let us discipline our children so that their sins may be put aside and so that our relationship with them will not suffer the estrangement of sin. Let us convey in as many ways as possible that discipline is always carried out in hope and in love. Let us be the kind of parents that our wayward children will yearn to return to once they have come to themselves.
To be very honest, I have been troubled by some of the passages in Proverbs which seem to promise too much. Passages like these appear to promise that the rod makes children righteous:
Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being (20:30 NIV).
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him (22:15).
Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol (23:13-14).
Can a spanking really remove sin from the life of a child? Is a “good licking” a kind of cure-all for the child? Do we drive a child from sin and toward God with a stick? I believe that the answer to my dilemma is most aptly summarized in this verse:
The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother (29:15).
The rod was never intended to be a cure-all, but only a part of the process of child-training. The rod, in and of itself, teaches the child few things, but when combined with verbal instruction it can turn a child from folly to wisdom, from sin to godliness. The rod is not a panacea, but only a part of the child-raising process.
God used the “rod” of discipline in the Old Testament, but never in isolation. It was always a part of a larger process of leading His children to greater maturity, faith, and obedience. Let me attempt to summarize the steps in the process of correction and chastening as I currently understand them.
Step One: Establishing the Right to Rule. As we saw the word “discipline” Used in Deuteronomy 4:36, 8:5 and 11:2, God demonstrated His greatness by delivering Israel out of Egypt and then disclosing His majesty and power in the wilderness and on the mountain from which the law was given. All of this served the purpose of establishing God’s authority--His right to rule--over the nation Israel.
Parents must also establish their authority by demonstrating to their children that they are in charge. While we should listen to our children and consider their opinions and feelings, God has given parents the responsibility and authority for raising children. Children are not our equals, just as we are not God’s equal. Child-training is based upon the premise that the parent is in charge.
Step Two: Establishing the Rules. Once God established His authority, He gave His people the law--the standard of conduct which God set for them. By their obedience or disobedience to the law God would either bless or chasten Israel. Because God is holy, His people must also live holy lives. The law prescribed the kind of conduct which was befitting the people of God.
Parents, too, must establish the standards for the conduct of their children. Not only are we to demonstrate our right to rule, we must also lay down the rules. The standards which God gave were clear and simple (I didn’t say easy). The standards which we establish should also be realistic, clear and consistent.
Step Three: Prescribing the Consequences for Sin, as well as its Cure. The law which God gave His people contained clearly spelled out consequences for sin. Deuteronomy 28 and Leviticus 26 both describe the results of righteousness and unrighteousness. Israel knew what God would do if they chose to disobey His law.
God knew the weakness of His people; therefore He also made provision for their sin. The sacrificial system not only provided an immediate solution for sin, but it prophetically anticipated the ultimate solution, the sacrifice of the “Lamb of God” who would take away the sin of the world (cf. John 1:29; Heb. 10:1-18).
Parental discipline should also include instruction concerning the consequences of disobedience. Our children must know that the rules which we set down are intended to bring blessing into their lives and that disobedience of these standards will bring unpleasant results. Children are more impressed with the pain of disobedience than they are with the particular precept or commandment set down. Parents should be like God by letting their children know the consequences of sin before any transgression occurs.
More than just promising painful consequences for sin, parents must speak to their children of the provision of God for sinners in the person of His Son. In the Old Testament, sin had its punishment; God also had a provision that would offer forgiveness and make reconciliation to the transgressor.
Step Four: Teaching the Reasons for the Rules. It was not enough for the rules to be given the people through Moses. The law given to Moses was to be handed down from generation to generation. The primary responsibility for teaching was that of the parents, especially the father (cf. Exod. 12:24-27; Deut. 6). In addition, God taught each generation through the religious leaders He appointed, men like the priests, the scribes (Ezra 7:6; Neh.8:1-18) and the prophets. Each new generation had to be taught the purpose and the meaning of the law. In each generation, men and women needed to be reminded of God’s standards.
No Old Testament book has so much teaching specifically directed toward “sons” as does Proverbs. The law is assumed, but it is explained in practical terms--in terms of how one is to live life. The consequences of sin are spelled out, and also the benefits of obedience to God. More than just precepts, Proverbs gives us principles by which our lives are to be governed.
In the New Testament, fathers are commanded to bring up their children in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).Again and again, it is the responsibility of the parents (first) and others (second) to teach the young to fear the Lord and obey Him. Because each succeeding generation must be taught anew, the process is never complete. What a son learned from his father he must also teach to his children (cf. Prov. 4:3-9).
Step Five: Verbal Rebuke. Inevitably we will sin. Regardless of how well we know the rules and the reasons behind them, we will eventually choose to disobey. Even Solomon, who wrote much of Proverbs, chose to disregard his own instruction. The role of the Old Testament prophet was to point out specific instances of sin--specific violations of God’s law. Thus, Nathan rebuked David (2 Sam. 12) and the Old Testament prophets accused Israel and Judah of their sin (cf. also Neh. 13:15). It was not until His people had persistently resisted God’s Word and rejected His prophets that God finally was forced to employ the “rod” of discipline:
“And you shall say to them, ‘This is the nation that did not obey the voice of the Lord their God or accept correction; truth has perished and has been cut off from their mouth (Jer. 7:28).
‘Yet they did not listen or incline their ears, but stiffened their necks in order not to listen or take correction” (Jer. 17:23).
“And the Lord has sent to you all His servants the prophets again and again, but you have not listened nor inclined your ear to hear” (Jer. 25:4).
Ideally, discipline may not need to proceed any further than a verbal rebuke. Proverbs speaks of the wise as those who will learn from a mere word of rebuke and will not require the “rod” (cf. 13:1; 15:31-32; 17:10-11). David, the man after God’s heart, was stopped short merely by the rebuke of Nathan (2 Sam. 12:13).
Step Six: The Rod. Ultimately, there are those of us who simply refuse to learn the easy way. Consequently the “rod” is necessary in order to underscore the teaching and verbal rebuke which has been disregarded. When God used His “rod” on Israel it was because they had spurned His reproof through the prophets:
“Therefore thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘Because you have not obeyed My words, behold, I will send and take all the families of the north,’ declares the Lord, land I will send to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, My servant, and will bring them against this land, and against its inhabitants, and against all these nations round about; and I will utterly destroy them, and make them a horror, and a hissing, and an everlasting desolation’” (Jer. 25:8-9).
It is especially noteworthy to see in the words of Jeremiah and their fulfillment that the “rod” which God employed on His people was precisely that which had been described in the law and in the prophets. God’s chastisement was exactly what He had warned it would be.
Step Seven: Repentance and Reconciliation. The “rod” is not an end in itself, but a means--a means to underscore the teaching and the verbal rebuke which have preceded it. If some will not learn by mere words, as Proverbs tells us (29:19), then the rod is required by the sinner’s stubbornness. The rod is intended to humble the sinner, to bring him to repentance, and ultimately to restore the relationship which has been under a strain due to sin. The process of discipline is not complete until the offender and the offended are once more enjoying the intimacy of their relationship. That is the force of these words in the third chapter of Revelation:
‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me’ (Rev. 3:19-20).
In the culture of that day, the most intimate fellowship between friends and family occurred at the meal table. The invitation of this passage is to the wayward saint to respond to God’s discipline, to repent and to be renewed into the intimate enjoyment of the status of a child of God. This text is not an invitation to salvation, but an exhortation to wayward Christians to respond to the disciplinary hand of God, to repent of their sins, and to be restored to the intimacy of fellowship they had formerly known.
As parents we should see this to be the goal of our discipline. We should strive to demonstrate to the child that discipline has been required by sin and a refusal to respond to verbal rebuke. If the child has come to genuine repentance, the child should immediately sense the relief of forgiveness and the enjoyment of intimacy once again. By whatever name it is called, let this be the final stage, the goal of all discipline--reunion and communion.
The process of discipline is, by its very nature, a painful one. In spite of this, it is also a great privilege. Let me conclude our consideration of parental discipline by reminding you of the blessings of the “rod,” for both parent and child. Throughout the Scriptures we find that while the “rod” brings pain. It is also a means of comfort:
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me (Ps. 23:4).
The comfort of the rod is based upon the fact that discipline is proof of sonship. The rod is proof that we are children of God and that He loves us too much to ignore sin in our lives. Since sin hinders our relationship, He aggressively seeks to deal with our sin and to restore the blessings and intimacy of our relationship. Because of this, we can see chastening as a gracious gift of God.
Eliphaz may have misapplied this truth in regard to Job’s suffering, but the truth remains:
“Behold, how happy is the man whom God reproves, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He inflicts pain, and gives relief; He wounds, and His hands also heal” (Job 5:17- 8).
The psalmist could say of God’s chastening:
Blessed is the man who Thou dost chasten, 0 Lord, and dost teach out of Thy law (Ps. 91:12).
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Thy word. It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Thy statutes. I know, 0 Lord, that Thy judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness Thou hast -afflicted me (Ps. 119:67,71,75).
This is the message of Proverbs as well:
For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Prov. 3:12).
The most extensive statement on the blessing of chastening is that found in the Book of Hebrews:
It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Hebrews 12:7-11).
While we may find it to be momentarily painful, discipline should be a source of comfort, not only because it demonstrates God’s love, but because it seeks to remedy the sin in our lives and restore intimate fellowship and communion with God. In the same way parental discipline should seek to deal with sin in the lives of our children and deepen the bonds of love and devotion between us.
Disciplining our children also is a privilege for the parent. It is a test of our obedience to God and of our love for our children. Proverbs commands parents to discipline their children and claims that it is proof of parental love (cf. 13:24; 22:15; 23:13). I would like to suggest that one of the privileges which discipline affords the parent is the opportunity to present the gospel in a very meaningful context.The solution for sin in no more found in the “rod” than it was in the sacrifice of bulls and goats in the days of old (cf. Heb. 9). The solution for sin is found only in the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary.
In John 16 our Lord spoke of the ministry of the Holy Spirit. He said,
“And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin, and righteousness, and judgment” (John 16:8).
Now, I ask you, what does parental discipline address? Does it not deal with sin, righteousness, and judgment? There is no better time to underscore the problem of sin in the life of the child than when the “rod” is required. There is no other solution to sin than the judgment which our Lord bore on Calvary. Let us use the time of discipline to present the ultimate solution for sin to our children, praying that God will draw our children to Himself. It is not the “rod” that saves, but the cross. Let us never use the “rod” without referring to the cross.
May God enable us, as parents, to discipline as He does, for His glory and for our good.
Many Christians seek divine guidance in terms of some simplistic formula: “Consider the Scriptures, your feelings, and the circumstances. When these three line up, you have the will of God.” I believe that the Bible gives us no such formulas. The Christian life is a life of faith, lived in accordance with the Word of God, applied by means of the wisdom which God gives (cf. James 1:5). In the introduction to the Book of Proverbs the author assures the reader that this book will provide valuable insight into the will of God:
The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young--let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning set guidance (Prov. 1:1-5, NIV).
I am convinced that no other Old Testament book, and perhaps no book of the New Testament, gives us greater insight into the will of God than does the Book of Proverbs. As we conclude our study of this very practical book, let us carefully consider the subject of divine guidance as it is taught here.
Proverbs assumes that divine guidance is vital to living a life which is characterized by wisdom and godliness. If we are to appreciate the importance of divine guidance we must first understand why man so desperately needs it. Let us look first at three reasons why man needs God’s guidance.
1. DIVINE GUIDANCE IS NECESSARY BECAUSE MAN IS SIMPLE. According to Proverbs, to be simple is to be inexperienced, gullible, and vulnerable.. While this condition is especially characteristic of the young, it is also the malady of mankind in general. The human mind is incapable of knowing the mind and the heart of God apart from supernatural initiative and enablement (cf. 1 Cor. 2:6-16).
Before the fall, Adam and Eve were not plagued with a nature predisposed to sin. Yet in their innocence, they were also inexperienced. Satan tempted them by offering an experience which God had prohibited. In their naivet, they did not know the deceiving and cunning nature of Satan, nor did they fully grasp the danger of disobeying God. In Proverbs, Madam Folly offers the naive experience also (9:16-17), but it is always the kind of experience we will wish we had avoided. God’s Word informs men of those hidden dangers of life which we have not yet experienced, and which we hopefully never will. Divine guidance informs man of what he does not know (by virtue of ignorance and inexperience), but what he must know if he would be godly and wise.
2. DIVINE GUIDANCE IS REQUIRED BECAUSE MAN IS SINFUL. Proverbs teaches us that when man “does what comes naturally” he does what is both foolish and contrary to the will of God. The young man is urged not to trust in his own wisdom, but in God’s (3:5-7). To become wise one must turn from his folly and fear God (1:22; 2:2; 8:5,10,13; 9:6). The root problem of man is the condition of his heart (4:23). Our evil heart inclines us toward sin and folly, not righteousness (6:14,18). Our inability to grasp God’s ways and His will stems not only from our human frailty (our simplicity), but from our fallenness. If being human hinders us from knowing God’s will, our sinfulness hinders us from seeking it or submitting to it. If we do not know God’s will due to our humanity, we will not search for it nor find it due to our depravity:
‘There is none righteous, not even one; there is none who understands, there is none who seeks for God” (Rom. 3:10-11).
3. DIVINE GUIDANCE IS REQUIRED BECAUSE MAN IS SOLICITED TO SIN BY OTHERS. Satan is portrayed as an aggressive enemy, who seeks to deceive men and to distort the Word of God (e.g. 1 Pet. 5:8). This happened first in the garden of Eden (Gen. 3; cf. 1 Tim. 2:14; 4:1-5). Frequently, Satan employs others in his diabolical schemes (cf. 2 Cor. 11:13-15).In the Book of Proverbs we see men being solicited to sin by violent men (e.g. 1:10-19) and seductive women (e.g. 2:16-19). While we do not naturally know the will of God and are inclined not to seek it due to our depravity, there will be many who will seek to persuade us that they do have a plan for us, a plan which our fallen nature is inclined to accept. Divine guidance is required to separate the good from the evil, and that which is foolish from that which is wise.
Most Christians are more acutely aware of the need for divine guidance than they are informed about the nature of it. There are several characteristics of divine guidance which can be observed in the Book of Proverbs, which are also seen elsewhere in the Scriptures.
1. DIVINE GUIDANCE IS DISCERNED PRIMARILY BY MEANS OF WISDOM. J. I. Packer, in his justly acclaimed book, Knowing God, has included a chapter (20) on guidance entitled, “Thou Our Guide.” Originally this chapter was published in booklet form under the title, Guidance and Wisdom. Packer maintains that wisdom and guidance are inseparable, a conclusion with which the Book of Proverbs concurs. If the purpose of Proverbs is to make men wise, Proverbs also assures us that wisdom is one of God’s primary means of discerning the will of God:
The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise can will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel (1:1-5).
In verse 2 above, the words “discern” and, “understanding” are both related to the same Hebrew preposition which means “between.”62 To have discernment is to possess the ability to tell the difference between two alternatives. Wisdom enables men to distinguish between good and evil, and between good and better.
In verse 4 the term “discretion” also relates to decision-making,63 but perhaps of even greater interest is the expression “wise counsel” in verse 5. In my opinion the NIV correctly renders the original word “guidance.” The Hebrew term appears to be a word used of the ropes connected to the rudder of ancient ships which enabled the captain to direct its course.64
The one who acquires “wise counsel” from the Book of Proverbs is, indeed, the one who has come to “know the ropes,” a person who has obtained the steering ropes of the Word of God which will guide him through life. If God guides us primarily through wisdom, it is important that we understand the components of wisdom. We shall seek to consider these in the characteristics of divine guidance which follow.
2. WISDOM AND DIVINE GUIDANCE MUST BE BASED UPON DIVINE REVELATION. Many Christians expect God to reveal His will in some bizarre and spectacular way, rather than accepting the fact that God has already revealed His will (in the vast majority of instances) through His Word. Solomon knew that the Old Testament Law was God’s standard for man’s conduct:
As David’s time to die drew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying,
“I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man. And keep the charge of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn” (1 Kings 2:1-3).
While references in Proverbs to God’s Word--His divine revelation to men through the Scriptures--are infrequent, this revelation is assumed, and it is viewed as an infallible, authoritative word from God which serves as a measure of men’s thoughts and deeds. Occasionally, a specific reference to the law is found in Proverbs (28:4,7,9). Biblical revelation is also referred to as “the word’ (13:13; 16:20) or “the word of God:”
Every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His words lest He reprove you, and you be proved a liar (30:5-6).
Divine revelation has a variety of forms, three of which are precepts, principles, and patterns. Precepts are the commands of God which are specific and clear-cut. We are commanded, both in Proverbs and elsewhere, not to commit adultery, which is sin (cf. Exod. 20:14; Prov. 5:1-23; 6:29). So, too, lying is sin (cf. Exod. 20:16; Prov. 6:19; 19:5,9). Proverbs is not ambiguous concerning sin, for the Scriptures Right and wrong are defined in very concrete terms:
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion (Prov. 28:13).
A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, But a just weight is His delight (11:1).
In some instances, Proverbs refers to “the commandment,” where the reference seems to be to the law of Moses:
The one who despises the word will be in debt to it, But the one who fears the commandment will be rewarded (Prov. 13:13).
Most often, however, the “commandments” spoken of in Proverbs are those of the parents:
My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you (Prov. 2:1).
My son, keep my words, and treasure my commandments within you. Keep my commandments and live, and my teaching [lit., law] as the apple of your eye (Prov. 7:1-2).
While not inerrant, inspired, or infallible, parental instruction was necessary to teach God’s law to each new generation (cf. Exod. 12:26-27; 13:14-15; Deut. 6:6-9; 20-25). In Proverbs, instruction is given through parents (1:8; 3:1; 4:2; 6:20,23) and others who are wise (e.g. 5:13; 13:14).So far as I can tell the “commandments” of the parents spoken of in Proverbs were a reiteration, explanation, or application of the commandments of the law of Moses. I believe that parents and the wise sought to teach each new generation the law of God and to give instruction and guidelines based upon the divine revelation of the will of God in the Scriptures which were then available.
In addition to the clear-cut directives of Proverbs (“precepts”), principles are set down, which are more general in nature and provide broader guidelines for those who wish to know God’s will and to do it:
In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty (14:23).
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger (15:1).
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds persuasiveness to his lips (16:23).
The first to plead his case seems just, Until another comes and examines him (18:17).
Prepare your work outside, And make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house (24:27).
In addition to the precepts and principles of Scripture, there are also what we might call patterns. I’m not sure that “patterns” is the best word, but, by it, I am referring to those truths of Scripture which have great relevance to us, but in a less direct way than precepts or principles. When the Scriptures tell us what God is like--His character and conduct--we can infer that we should be like-God, godly. Parental discipline, for example, should be patterned after God’s discipline of His children.
Proverbs tells us that God hates wickedness (6:16-19; 15:8-9), evil schemes (12:2; 15:26), dishonesty (11:1; 20:10,23), crookedness (11:20), falsehood (12:22), pride (16:5), and neglect of the law (28:9).We are also told that God delights in righteousness (15:8-9), goodness (12;2), honesty (11:1), integrity (11:20), truth (12:22), and wisdom (8:35). It does not take a great deal of insight to conclude that we should shun what God hates and seek what brings Him delight.
3. DIVINE GUIDANCE CAN BE OBTAINED THROUGH WISE COUNSEL. Guidance is not only given through the commandments of the Scriptures, it is also obtained through the counsel of those who are wise:
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners (Ps. 1:1).
Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; I am understanding, power is mine (Prov. 8:14).
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel (Prov. 12:15).
Through presumption comes nothing but strife, But with those who receive counsel is wisdom (Prov. 13:10).
There are two kinds of counsel: the words Of the wise and the advice of the wicked (cf. also James 3:13-18). Proverbs informs us that no true counsel is ever contrary to the character or commandments of God:
There is no wisdom and no understanding And no counsel against the Lord (21:30).
God has given each generation those who are older and wiser than they so that they might learn from the experience and the insight of those who have traveled further down the path of righteousness. Divine guidance is to be found through the counsel of those who are wise.
4. DIVINE GUIDANCE REQUIRES CONFIDENCE AND COMMITMENT. Before we can answer the question, “What shall I do?” we must first ask the question, “Whom do I trust?” The greatest obstacle to my seeking the will of God and doing it is my attitude of self-sufficiency and self-trust. Proverbs teaches that the evil man is arrogant and presumptuous. He cannot fathom righteousness, and he will not seek it. The one who would enter the way of wisdom is he who would first of all forsake trusting in himself--in his natural reasoning:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil (Prov 3:5-7).
Nowhere does faith in God cast aside all reason, but it must lay aside merely human reason (e.g. Matt. 16:23). Becoming wise and discerning God’s will is only possible when we forsake all confidence in our own reason, which has suffered from the effects of the fall, and when we come to rely fully on God’s revelation, on His wisdom, not our own.
In addition, divine guidance requires commitment. Human reason rests only on what we can see, on our own perception of matters as viewed in the context of present circumstances. Divine guidance rests upon the promises of God, on those “things which are not seen” (cf. Heb. 11:1). This is the substance of Hebrews chapter 11. Men and women of faith are those who live life in the present in the light of God’s promises which are yet future. The will of God is known by those who are willing to commit their future into the hands of the God of the Bible.
This helps to explain why the will of God is not always easy to discern. If guidance is granted largely through wisdom, guidance will not come easily because wisdom does not come without great effort. Repeatedly in Proverbs we are told that wisdom is only for those who will diligently seek it:
My son, if you will receive my sayings, and treasure my commandments within you, Make your ear attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding; For if you cry for discernment, lift your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord,. and discover the knowledge of God (Prov. 2:1-5).
God does not cast His pearls before swine. He does not make wisdom easy to find because only the diligent will obtain it. Since wisdom is difficult to obtain, it requires even more diligence to put into practice. We should not expect divine guidance to come easily, nor should we deceive ourselves into thinking that doing it will be without sacrifice and commitment. The more I study the subject of divine guidance in the Scriptures, the more I realize that the greatest problem we must face is the commitment to do what we know to be right.
This week I read of an incident in the 42nd chapter of the Book of Jeremiah which illustrates the problem most of us have with divine guidance. A small remnant of Jewish people had been left in the land of Canaan after their nation had been carried off into captivity in Babylon. This remnant came to the prophet, requesting him to seek divine guidance for them:
“Please let our petition come before you, and pray for us to the Lord your God, that is for all this remnant; because we are left but a few out of many, as your own eyes now see us, that the Lord your God may tell us the way in which we should walk and the thing that we should do” (Jer. 42:2-3).
After ten days God’s will was made known to Jeremiah. This remnant was not to flee to Egypt for safety, but was to trust in God and remain in the land of promise. No matter how great the danger of staying in Canaan appeared to be, God promised to protect and to bless those who stayed, but warned of destruction for those who would seek safety and security in anyone or anything but God. In spite of clear direction from God through the prophet Jeremiah, the remnant went on to Egypt, trusting in the “arm of the flesh,” rather than in God.
Isn’t this the problem we all face? We want divine guidance, but we want it to agree with our estimation of what we should do. Divine guidance begins with a distrust of human reason and a dependence upon divine revelation and promises. Divine guidance requires a commitment to seek the will of God diligently and then to heed it, whether we agree with it or not.
5. DIVINE GUIDANCE IS A MATTER OF CHARACTER. We are accustomed to hearing, “As a man thinks, so he is.” While this is a biblical truth (Prov. 23:7), the Bible has more than this to say about the relationship between a man’s character and his conduct. I believe that the Scriptures go on to say, “As a man is, so he thinks and so he acts.” That is, a man’s character determines his thinking and his actions. Let me first establish this premise and then go on to explore its implications.
When I speak of a person’s character I am referring to their moral condition which consistently works itself out in a predictable and consistent way. The word “way” or “ways” is often employed in Proverbs to depict character. Animals have their “ways,” a predictable, consistent pattern of behavior which is a part of their nature:
There are three things which are too wonderful for me, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship in the middle of the sea, and the way of a man with a maid. This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, “I have done no wrong” (Prov. 30:18-20).
Go to the ant, 0 sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise (Prov. 6:6).
As Proverbs 30:19-20 (above) indicate, men also have their “ways.” One’s character, his “way,” can be discerned by the pattern he has established in his conduct:
She [the adulteress] does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it (Prov. 5:6).
Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself (Prov. 22:24-25).
Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings (Prov. 31:3).
In these passages and countless others a man’s character is referred to as his “way” or “ways.” Thus we read, in 2 Chronicles of the “ways of Jehoshaphat” and the “ways of Asa” (21:12), a reference to the character of these men. Each individual act of our life is a part of a pattern of behavior which is our “way,” our character.
God, too, has His “ways,” and these are always pure:
“The Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He” (Deut. 32:4).
I will meditate on all Thy work, and muse on Thy deeds. Thy way, O God, is holy; what god is great like our God? (Ps. 77:13).
The Lord is righteous in all His ways, and kind in all His deeds (Ps. 145:17).
God’s ways are infinitely more righteous than man’s:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are I, ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:8-9).
If men are to have intimate contact with God they must conform their ways to His ways. As God said to the nation Israel:
“For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy; for I am holy..” (Lev. 11:44; cf. 1 Pet. 1:16).
Consequently, God has prescribed the “way” we should live, the standard for our character and conduct. This “way” is defined by the Word of God:
Teach me Thy way, O Lord; I will walk in Thy truth; Unite my heart to fear Thy name (Ps. 86:11).
I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Thine ordinances before me. I cleave to Thy testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame! I shall run the way of Thy commandments, for Thou wilt enlarge my heart. Teach me, 0 Lord, the way of Thy statutes, and I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may observe Thy law, and keep it with all my heart. Make me walk in the path of Thy commandments, for I delight in it. Incline my heart to Thy testimonies, and not to dishonest gain. Turn my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Thy ways (Ps. 119: 30-37).
In the final analysis, there are only two “ways.” Proverbs persistently points us to the two “ways” of life: the way of evil, which leads to death and destruction (e.g. 2:12; 4:14,19; 8:3; 10:29; 12:15; 15:19; 16:25; 22:5; 28:10), and the way of wisdom and righteousness, which leads to life (e.g. 4:11; 6:23; 9:6; 12:28; 15:10; 16:13; 21:16; 22:6).The man who is wise is the one who chooses to make his ways conform to God’s ways.
I believe that Proverbs teaches us that a man’s character is the description of his typical conduct. The sluggard has certain tell-tale characteristics, just as do the simple, and the fool. Likewise, the wise has identifiable traits which can be observed. The wise is slow to speak and weighs his words. The wise gives thought to the consequences of his actions, while the fool does not. The wise listens to counsel, but the fool goes on without taking heed to wisdom or warnings. A man’s character (what he is) is discerned by what he does.
In the broadest terms, God’s will for man is that he walk in the way which He has prescribed in His Word. One’s character not only describes his walk, but also predisposes his response to the revealed will of God. Character determines a man’s desires. The wicked delight in wickedness, while the righteous delight in what is holy and pure and wise:
Desire realized is sweet to the soul, But it is an abomination to fools to depart from evil (Prov. 13:19).
“How long, 0 naive ones, will you love simplicity? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, and fools hate knowledge? (Prov. 1:22).
Who delight in doing evil, And rejoice in the perversity of evil (Prov. 2:14).
A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind (Prov. 18:2).
The desire of the righteous is only good, But the expectation of the wicked is wrath (Prov. 11:23).
Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways (Prov 23:26).
A man’s character is what he is, which determines what he will think, who he will listen to, and what he will do. In Proverbs 17:4 we read,
An evildoer listens to wicked lips, A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. A liar (character) does not listen to wise counsel, but only gives attention to those whose advice squares with his (immorality).
The New Testament teaches this truth as well. In Ephesians we read:
And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest (Eph. 2:1-3).
By nature, we were lost, dead in our sins. We did not know God nor serve Him. Instead, we were followers of Satan, indulging both our minds and our flesh in the ways of sin.
In the Book of Ephesians and other epistles, Paul exhorted Christians to seek to conform their character to their calling and their confession of faith (cf. Eph. 4:1-6:20; Col. 3:1-4:6). James writes that he cares little what one confesses to be, for it is by our conduct and our character that we reveal genuine conversion. Our character shapes our thinking and our actions. What we are determines what we think and what we do:
To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled. They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him, being detestable and disobedient, and worthless for any good deed (Titus 1:15-16).
1 have become increasingly convinced that a man’s character is one of the most powerful forces in determining his decisions. I would therefore suggest that no ingredient is more important in the process of divine guidance than that of the character of the one who seeks to be guided. As we have seen from Proverbs 17:4, the liar will not listen to anyone but the wicked. The reason is very simple: an evil man has no inclination and no intention of doing what is pure and right. The mere thought of forsaking evil and doing good is repulsive to the wicked, for he delights in doing what is wrong.
The key to obtaining divine guidance in Proverbs is the development of godly character. That is why the book spends so much time describing the undesirable character of the sluggard, the simple, the scoffer, and the fool. Proverbs seeks to develop our character by instructing us to be wise and godly. Godly men and women will not only seek God’s will and find it--they will do it. Wicked men do not seek divine guidance, nor would they practice it if they found it.
In addition to a man’s character predisposing him to certain decisions, there are at least two other ways that character relates to divine guidance. Namely, God’s character should greatly influence the believer to seek divine guidance and to follow it. God’s character is the pattern for our thoughts and actions, but it is also the basis for our confidence and trust in Him to guide us in the right path. Just as faith in my doctor prompts me to follow his medical counsel, faith in God inspires me to seek His will and follow it.
Then, too, the character of others provides me with a basis for guidance. One of the best tests of a life’s mate is godly character (cf. Prov. 31:10-311. Character is to be a determining factor in the choice of one’s friends and associates (Prov. 20:19; 22:24; 24:21). The way Scripture states that I should respond to men is determined by an assessment of their character. For example, I am encouraged to reprove a wise man and yet instructed not to attempt to correct a fool or a scoffer (cf. Prov. 12:15; 13:1; 14:16; 15:12; 17:10; 23:9; 26:4-5).
The wise are counseled not to teach or correct the fool because they spurn wise counsel and scorn right actions. Do you see the point? You cannot guide a fool because a fool does not want direction. Thus character is crucial in matters of divine guidance. Only the godly will be guided in the paths of righteousness and wisdom. The fool will invariably return to the way of folly, just as the dog does to his vomit (Prov. 26:11).
Much of what I have said about divine guidance is not new, but nevertheless needs to be said by way of reminder (cf. 2 Pet. 3:1). Guidance is primarily discerned by means of wisdom, and wisdom is obtained through the commandments of the Word of God, the counsel of the wise, and the commitment of the one seeking to know the will of God.
In addition, we have learned that our character is, perhaps, the determinant factor in responding to divine guidance. Those who are wise will discern the guidance of God (Prov. 1:1-6), while the foolish will not seek it. That is why Proverbs concentrates upon our character. The evils of Proverbs are those character traits which are inconsistent with wisdom and godliness, such as simplicity, foolishness, an uncontrolled temper, immorality, and laziness.
As I have studied character in relationship to divine guidance it has occurred to me that here, as in many other areas of the Christian life, we have been guilty of “straining gnats and swallowing camels” (Matt. 23:24). We have focused our attention on the particulars of the will of God but have neglected the paths which the Word of God so clearly defines.
I think that many of us are asking for divine guidance about a particular decision along life’s path when we are on the wrong path. Our search for divine guidance would be something like Jonah, praying that God would lead him to find a ship to Tarshish, when God had told him to go to Ninevah. We need not seek to learn if God would have Sally to be our wife if Sally is an unbeliever or is known for her lack of character.
I am convinced that the vast majority of decisions which the Christian is called to make are matters that can be determined by the path we are on, the path so clearly laid out in the Scriptures. I also believe that those particular decisions which do not have a moral dimension, which are neither “good” nor “bad,” may therefore be matters of Christian liberty, matters which may be of indifference to God. If not, God can surely direct us just as He has always led His children. If it matters to Him that we buy this house and not that, this car, rather than another, He will surely providentially intervene.
As I think through the bad choices men have made which are recorded in the Scriptures I find that they are more the result of ungodly character than they are of insufficient or unclear guidance. Samson, for example, was a man with a character problem when it came to women. He persisted in pursuing foreign, ungodly women, even when the law taught otherwise and his parents reminded him of this (Judg. 14:3).
David’s sin with Bathsheba was also a problem in his character. In 2 Samuel 11:1 we are told,
Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they destroyed the sons of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed at Jerusalem.
In the second verse of this same passage we learn that David had not only stayed home when he should have been at war, but he slept in until late in the afternoon. Now I want to say that David’s character had drastically deteriorated since those days when his life was sought by Saul. David had found prosperity a greater temptation than persecution. He was so great a leader, he must have reasoned, that he could wage war from his bed. While Bathsheba should not have been in David’s bed, neither should David have been there. This, in fact, was a stinging rebuke from the lips of David’s loyal servant and Bathsheba’s husband Uriah (2 Sam. 11:11). David’s sin with Bathsheba did not just happen; it was the result of a serious character flaw in David’s life. Incidentally, perhaps Bathsheba’s sin was of the same type as David’s. Should she really have been bathing where she could be seen by others?
I submit to you that most of the bad choices in our life are like David’s--the result of our character. Think about it for a moment. What are the temptations that most plague your life? Are they not temptations which have to do with the weakest aspects of your moral character? If you have a problem controlling your temper, a character flaw described often in Proverbs (19:19; 22:24; 29:22), you will persistently struggle with blowing up. The more you pamper this flaw, the greater the temptation and the more certain a fall. The one who allows his (or her) mind to dwell on immoral thoughts is going to face moral temptation. Given enough time and the right opportunity (like David), the one who entertains immoral thoughts will eventually fall into moral sin.
While God’s will encompasses us specifically, including even minute details of our life, His will is most often and most forcefully revealed in terms of our path: “He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Ps. 23:3).
God’s will is that we be morally pure:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is that you abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thess. 4:3).
The test of true spirituality and maturity is based upon our character. The elder and the deacon must be men of godly character (1 Tim. 3; Titus 1). The fruit of the Spirit is the manifestation of godly character (Gal. 5:22-23). Those things for which all Christians are to strive are aspects of godly character (2 Pet. 1:5-11). Maturity as a saint is a matter of character:
For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for some one to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For every one who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil (Heb. 5:12-14).
It is the immature, those who lack godly character, who waver and vacillate in making wise decisions:
As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming (Eph. 4:14).
But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways (James 1:6-8).
Above all else, let us seek to develop and maintain godly character. This, more than anything else, will incline us to follow the guidance which God gives to His children.
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in justice, and He teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth to those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. For Thy name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way he should choose (Ps. 25:8-12).
62 Both the verb and the noun are connected with the Hebrew preposition meaning ‘between,’ and signify the ability to draw proper distinctions. Here is meant the distinction between right and wrong.” A. Cohen, Proverbs (London: The Soncino Press, 1967), P. 1.
63 McKane calls “discretion” “resourcefulness” and goes on to say of the educational process which sought to develop it, “Its concern was to impart negotiating skills, to nurture soundness of judgement and to produce a weighty and effective individual.” William McKane, Proverbs (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, n.d.), P. 265.
64 “It is then a term for a kind of nautical expertise, the ability to steer a course through the trackless sea; and it lends itself readily to becoming a metaphor for the negotiating skills which discern the beginning and the end of a problem and perform each operation in the right place at the right time.” Ibid, p. 266.