My neighbor Claudine's face was always set in a mask of discontent. For years, I'd see her out my kitchen window as she would water her garden, carry in her groceries, or talk to her children, and I couldn't help but notice that a deep frown was a permanent fixture on her face. Her mouth was set in a long, hard line that rarely curved into a smile.

When I talked to Claudine over coffee, I quickly learned that nothing was ever good enough for her. Her house might be attractive, but it needed paint and her husband was too lazy to paint it. Her kids might be polite, good students, but they were too much like her in-laws to suit her taste. The weather might be nice, but if all this sunshine kept up, we'd soon be facing a drought.

Claudine was unable to enjoy anything fully because there always was a fly in the ointment. If she didn't see it immediately, she'd find it eventually. The poor woman was chronically dissatisfied. Her discontentment was like an ulcer that gnawed away at her sense of gratitude, her peace of mind, and her enjoyment of life.

A Hindrance to Spiritual Growth

Discontentment is an emotion that is capable of dwarfing us spiritually because it is directed against the Lord. If we are discontented with His will for us, then we're not going to grow in our faith.

The people of Israel on their journey from Egypt to Canaan provide a rich source of illustrations for this particular emotion. We've already seen how their complaining affected their leader, Moses. They often discouraged him and angered him. As we move forward, we'll see how their discontentment affected their own lives and brought God's judgment upon them.

None of us will ever be able to imagine what it must have been like for at least two and a half million people who had been slaves for four hundred years to be set free from their bondage. For one thing, their freedom wasn't provided by a presidential emancipation paper. Their deliverance was a spectacular demonstration of the sovereignty and power of the Most High God who had chosen them to be His people.

God totally devastated Egypt, a proud nation that had ruthlessly oppressed the Hebrews. He humiliated the Pharaoh, who had arrogantly asked, "Who is the Lord that I should obey Him?"

Now the Israelites were gathered safely on the eastern shore of the Red Sea, which they had crossed on dry ground. Egypt lay in ruins behind them. "And when the Israelites saw the great power the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant" (Exod. 14:31).

Take a few minutes to read Exodus 15—it is the song the people sang to celebrate God's victory. They sang and danced in joy and freedom. They were on a mountaintop, dizzy with the wonder of it all. If God could deliver them from Pharaoh, He could do anything!

But it didn't take long for their point of view to change. First came three days without water. Then they found a spring that only poured forth bitter water. Soon came the ominous words that stamped their character throughout their journey: "The people grumbled against Moses, saying, 'What are we to drink?" (Exod. 15:24).

The principles God demonstrated to the discontented Israelites so long ago are still strategic to us as we seek contentment in today's world.

Discontentment Comes When We Focus on What We Lack

The solution was so simple. The Lord had no intention of abandoning His people. He just wanted their trust. When Moses appealed to the Lord, He showed Moses what to do: "Then Moses cried out to the LORD and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet" (Exod. 15:25).

Less than a month later, we find the people not only grumbling but looking back to Egypt with nostalgia. "In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron" (Exod. 16:2).

The food they had brought with them was gone. Already they had only a selective memory of their slavery in Egypt, recalling not their bondage but the meals provided by their masters. They whined, "There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted." So they accused their leaders of wrong motives, saying, "You have brought us out into this desert to starve."

In response, Moses and Aaron put the right perspective on the Israelites' discontent. The two leaders told them, "Who are we, that you should grumble against us? . . . You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD" (Exod. 16:7-8).

Discontentment Is Directed Toward God

The Israelites were dissatisfied with God and the way He was handling things. Whenever they came to an obstacle that required faith in the Lord who led them, whether it was thirst or hunger, they complained. They could have encouraged each other by saying, "God has brought us this far; He must have a plan to take care of us the rest of the way." But they never did. Their immediate response was to question God's motives and to doubt His goodness and his power. They were never content to just rest in Him.

What about us? How do we react to difficulties? Do we angrily add them up as examples of the way God has let us down? Is the glass half-full or half-empty for us? Do we shake our fists at heaven and say, "Why did You let this happen to me?" Do we withdraw from God, refusing to read our Bibles or pray?

Or do we say, "Lord, You have cared for me so far, I trust You to supply the wisdom and the resources I need for this situation. I am content to leave it in Your hands." Our attitudes make all the difference in the way we face our circumstances.

Need Teaches Us to Trust God More

Of course, as far as His people were concerned, God had a plan. And His plan was something they never could have even imagined. He knew they had to eat. He knew there were no supermarkets in the Sinai wilderness. He knew they couldn't plant gardens and wait for food to grow and still travel at the same time. So He just sent fast food—bread from heaven that contained all the nourishment they required. All they had to do was to go out every morning and pick it. The manna fell wherever they were every day.

But the Israelites never seemed to learn from these incidents. Their faith didn't grow with each demonstration of God's provision. They seemed determined to be discontent. Manna was not enough to satisfy them. For example . . .

"They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. So they quarreled with Moses and said, 'Give us water to drink'

"Moses replied, 'Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the LORD to the test?'

"But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, 'Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?'

"Then Moses cried out to the LORD, 'What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me" (Exod. 17:1-3).

They continually quarreled and grumbled, and Egypt was looking better all the time. Of course, they had forgotten a few small items regarding Egypt: bondage, oppression, cruelty, and death. However, God was still patient with them. He satisfied their thirst by supplying a river of water from a rock.

Discontentment Distorts the Past and Destroys the Present

Do you look back on the "good old days" of your life and think you were happier then than you are now? Stop and ask yourself whether you were really content back then. Wasn't there always something else you wanted to make you happy? Discontentment casts a dark shadow on our lives. It's a worm that nibbles away at our peace and joy.

Israel's dissatisfaction reached its zenith when God brought the people to Mount Sinai. He spoke in an audible voice that thundered from the mountain. Then he called Moses up to Him, and for forty days He gave Moses the Law His people were to live by and the plans for the tabernacle, where He would dwell among them. Unfortunately, forty days was too long for those chronically discontented people.

"When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, 'Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him"' (Exod. 32:1).

It's rather hard to believe, but the people weren't satisfied with what God had already done. And since their circumstances weren't exactly the way they wanted them to be, they decided to exchange God for a golden calf.

This time God was infuriated, and He punished many of them with death. But when Moses interceded for the people, God forgave them, and they continued on their journey. However, God's patience was finally wearing thin. Each time their discontent erupted, the punishment was more severe.

"Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the LORD, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the LORD burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the LORD, and the fire died down.

"The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, 'If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna" (Num. 11:1-2, 4-6).

First the Israelites complained about the hardships of their journey; God sent fire to consume some of them. Then they complained about the steady diet of manna; God sent them quail enough to eat for a month, and many of them died as they ate it. Then came the last straw—they refused to enter the wonderful land God was giving them as a gift. Ten of the twelve spies discouraged them from obeying God and taking possession of the land. They reported huge, dangerous inhabitants of the land who seemed to grow larger and more menacing with each telling of the story. They said, "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes and we looked the same to them. . . .

"That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, 'If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the Loiw bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? . . . We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt" (Num. 13:33b and 14:1-4).

Discontentment Results in Rebellion

After two years of seeing God miraculously meet their every need, the people were dissatisfied with His care and His purpose for their lives. Their hearts yearned for Egypt. Egypt was their homeland, not Canaan. They had blanked out the agony of slavery; they lusted for the food of Egypt. They were still slaves in their hearts—slaves to their cravings. Their constant dissatisfaction and complaining led to rebellion. This time God was finished with them.

When Moses pled with God to forgive them the Lord responded, "I have forgiven them, as you asked. Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the LORD fills the whole earth, not one of the men who saw my glory and the miraculous signs I performed in Egypt and in the desert but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times—not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it" (Num. 14:20-23).

Discontentment Prevents God front Giving Us His Best

It was all over for the discontented. They wandered in circles for thirty-eight more years like one long funeral procession as that generation lived their lives without anticipating anything but death. The people's dissatisfaction with God's purpose for them, their disdain of His bountiful provision, their disregard of His mighty power, and their distrust of His great love brought them to a point of no return. God had no more patience and provided no more second chances. It was all over. They were alive, but they looked at a bleak future that led nowhere but to the grave.

Why should we study this ancient story? Maybe you've already noticed that it bears a striking resemblance to our own emotional behavior. Discontent lurks in each person's heart. If it existed in Eden, it exists everywhere. That's why God tells us we need to carefully study Israel's experiences with God. As Paul wrote, "Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: 'The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry! We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the LORD, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel" (1 Cor. 10:6-10).

Discontentment Is Sin

The temptation to sin usually begins with discontentment about what we are or what we have. For instance, consider financial sins. How much grief would be avoided if we were satisfied with our income? if we didn't crave more and more of the things money can buy, would we enslave ourselves to creditors? "Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income" (Eccles. 5:10).

Another example of discontent involves emotional and sexual adultery. Immorality and the devastation it brings on families, individuals, and society would never happen if men and women were satisfied with their mates. As the wise Solomon wrote, "May you rejoice in the wife of your youth. . . . May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love" (Prov. 5:18-19).

Sinful actions always spring from ungodly thoughts and attitudes. An ungrateful, discontented spirit is an open door to unholy behavior, causing us to turn our backs on God and take matters into our own hands. This kind of rebellion doesn't have to happen. God is faithful, and we don't have to yield to the temptation to be discontented with our families, salaries, jobs, and life in general. Temptation is not a sin, but yielding to it is. What should be the attitude of a woman who is a child of God by faith in Jesus Christ and is indwelt by the Holy Spirit? We find the answer in Paul's letter to the Philippians:

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life" (Phil. 2:14-16a).

"Do everything?" Does this mean the housework, the carpool, the visits to parents, church work, or community service? Do everything without complaining? Yes, that's what God's Word says.

Naturally, we don't develop this kind of positive attitude without some instruction. For example, I used to hate to fold clothes. With five children, there was always quite a lot of it. Then I heard someone say that while she folded clothes, she thanked God for each person in her family and prayed for him or her. What a difference that simple attitude adjustment made!

You Can't Be Godly and Discontented

When I studied the word content as it is used in the New Testament, I found something very interesting. In other places the same Greek word is translated, "enough," "sufficient," and "to be strong enough." Obviously, godliness and contentment go together like hand and glove. And "godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that" (1 Tim. 6:6-8).

The woman whose heart is filled with Jesus will be grateful for every blessing, and she will trust Him through every difficulty. We won't like to admit it, but we really can live with just the bare necessities—food, clothes, and shelter. In fact, in many parts of the world, people are relieved to have that and can't imagine having anything more. And we have so much more than just the essentials—we have a heavenly Father Who will not abandon us. He knows what we need, and He has promised to supply it. What He wants most from us is simple, childlike trust. But that's not always easy for us because it doesn't come naturally.

Contentment Most Be Learned

The apostle Paul learned to be content. His physical circumstances did not determine his attitude or control his emotions. He wrote, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Phil. 4:11-13).

He said the secret to being content is knowing that Jesus Christ gives us the strength we need to do whatever He wants us to do. The secret of being content is believing that Jesus is sufficient.

In another familiar passage, Paul had a physical infirmity that he pleaded with God to remove: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness! Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Cor. 12:8-9).

The Lord told Paul, "Don't be upset and discontented because you are limited by this infirmity. My grace will make you strong enough to bear it. You'll have to depend on Me every day, and I'll be here. So you can be content because I will be enough for all your needs."

We Can Be Content Because God's Resources Are Limitless

We are instructed to be more than grateful—God wants us to share our blessings with others. Paul wrote, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work" (2 Cot 9:7-8).

The phrase "having all that you need" is represented by the same Greek word that is translated "content" in other places. Are you getting the picture? We don't have to greedily hang on to our possessions, fearful that we won't have enough for our own needs. We can give cheerfully and generously to the Lord, knowing He will see to it that we always have enough for ourselves and enough to give away.

We Can Be Content Because God's Presence Is Constant

God's Word tells us to be content, satisfied with our material resources and physical condition because the Lord is with us: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Heb. 13:5).

How can we possibly depend on health, money, and possessions for our security when we have the Lord, and He promises never to forget, neglect, nor abandon us? We are precious to Him. We are His children, and He is our perfect Father.

Facing Frightening Possibilities

This lesson of trusting God became a part of my life in a way I will never forget when, after a breast examination, I had a call from the diagnostic center. There was something irregular about my mammogram, and the doctor wanted me to come in the next day for further tests. Maybe you know just how I felt. You can't help the thoughts that crowd your imagination. Suppose it is cancer. Has it spread? Do I have to look ahead to surgery, chemotherapy, and death?

During that time, I was studying the meaning of the Greek word used for "content," and it was a revelation to me in a new way. I'm always telling people to look at the worst-case scenario and then tell the Lord you trust Him no matter what. Now it was my turn.

I began to see that no matter what the additional tests might reveal, the Lord would be with me and He would be enough. He would be sufficient. He would make me strong, whatever the verdict was. Having Him is better than health, better than wealth, better than any form of security or happiness we depend on. And what is death for a child of God? It is nothing but a dark valley we walk through, our hand in His, as He ushers us into His glorious presence for all eternity.

I can't tell you the joy and peace all this gave me. When my children called and asked if I was worried, I said, "No. No matter what happens, the Lord is enough. I can't complain. I've had very good health for all these years. I'm not immune from any disease." That peace stayed with me all day, all through the further exams. Even when I waited in the examining room for the doctor, looking at the picture on the sonogram of this dark, alien thing in my breast, there was peace. Then the doctor came in, and I asked, "May I call my husband in?"

The doctor replied, "Well, all I want to tell you is that it's a benign cyst filled with fluid."

Of course, I was happy. But I know the day may come when the news will not be good. I only hope that I will still be satisfied and contented because I have the Lord and He is enough to meet my every need. His grace is sufficient. But it's only there when we need it. God's grace is not available to us when we envision the future, imagining trouble ahead of time.

The Fear of the Lord Brings Peace

"The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble" (Prov. 19:23). Fear of the Lord means a loving reverence for God, and that includes submission to His Lordship and His Word.

Do you see how revering God, being content with your life and enjoying its blessings, and trusting Him through its difficulties will bring stability to your emotions? You won't be at the mercy of every new circumstance.

To be "untouched by trouble" doesn't mean we won't have troubles. This is a fallen world, and trouble and suffering are part of life here on earth. "Untouched by trouble" does mean trouble will never touch the inner core of our being where we live with God. Troubles will not devastate our faith—on the contrary, they will give us endurance and maturity. We can be content, even in our trials, because God is sufficient. Is discontentment your problem? If so, gratitude to God for His faithfulness is your solution.

When Jenny arrived home from work, she was exhausted and on the verge of tears. Her boss, who was normally unreasonable and impatient, had been nothing short of a madman all day long. He had yelled, cursed, and blamed her for everything that had gone wrong in his life for the last six months. Of course he would apologize tomorrow, as usual, but today had taken its toll.

Just as she walked through the door the phone rang. If it's him, I'm hanging up! she promised herself. But instead of her boss's angry roar, she was relieved to hear the calm voice of her friend and neighbor Sara. "Why don't you come over for dinner? I made enough lasagna for an army!"

Jenny left her suit and high heels in a heap on the floor and pulled on her jeans and a sweatshirt. She quickly walked across the greenbelt to Sara's condo, which was filled with plants, books, candles, and friendly clutter. "I already fed the kids," Sara laughed. "They're at the pool, so we can talk in peace. How was your day?"

Jenny shook her head. "It doesn't get much worse than today. Have you got any Tylenol?"

Sara frowned as she shook two pills out of an ample bottle and handed them over. "So when are you going to quit? That boss of yours is such a jerk—you could probably sue him for some kind of abuse."

"I've sent my resume to three different headhunters—they're supposed to be scheduling interviews starting next week. Meanwhile, I just need to keep my mouth shut. Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday!"

Before long, the conversation had shifted from Jenny's problems to Sara's mother's health, and then on to other concerns the two women shared. Before Jenny left, Sara prayed with her, asking the Lord to protect her and to give her a better job. By the time Jenny got home, her troubled feelings had diminished.

Just before ten o'clock the phone rang—it was a friend of Sara's, telling her about a job opportunity that might be coming up at her office. "Don't worry," the woman encouraged Jenny. "The Lord will lead you to something, even if this idea doesn't work out. I'm just sorry you're having such a hard time."

In spite of everything, Jenny slept serenely that night. The heavy pressure of stress had been lifted from her chest, and her last waking thought was a prayer of thanksgiving. "Lord, I'm so grateful for friends like Sara. Please bless her for being there when I need her . . ."

The Value of Friendship

In the preceding chapters we've considered some painful emotions that can profoundly hinder our spiritual growth: Fear, anger, grief, loneliness, and many more. So why conclude the book with a lesson on friendship? It's true that friendship isn't really an emotion. But it has a lot to do with our emotions because it is vital to our emotional and spiritual maturity.

Friendships affirm our worth, and they whittle away at our self-centeredness. In healthy friendship there is giving and receiving. There is affection, commitment, concern, interest, loyalty, and love. To maintain healthy friendships we have to pay a price.

A woman who doesn't have at least one close friend suffers a loneliness that increasingly corrodes her sense of worth and drives her into isolation. Friendlessness can make us suspicious of others' motives. It prevents us from revealing ourselves, so that we perpetuate the very thing that causes us so much pain. A lack of at least one close friend can seriously impede our spiritual growth, because God has designed us to be members of a body. And every part needs the other parts to grow healthy and strong.

Women particularly need and long for friendships with other women. Dee Brestin, in her book The Joy of Women's Friendships, makes an interesting point when she says, "The role of the mother has an enormous impact on the ability of a child to love. . . . Many sociologists speculate that one of the main cultural reasons that the friendships of women tend to be warmer, stronger, and more plentiful than the friendships of men is due to the mother/daughter relationship. In America, and in many countries, the primary caretaker in early childhood is the mother. Therefore, little girls have experienced a deep same-sex friendship in their formative years—whereas many little boys have not. For women, being close to another woman feels very natural. For men being close to another man may feel quite unnatural. This may explain, in part, why most women yearn for a same-sex friendship in their adult years, whereas most men are content to have their only close friend be a woman."²⁵

Someone has said that, "Friendship creates the world in which we can comfortably be ourselves, in which we are valued above all for that." Don't we all long for friends who love us for ourselves, just the way we are?

An Ancient Model for Friendship

Ironically, the ideal friendship about which Scripture gives us many details is not between two women, but between two men, Jonathan and David. Let's trace their friendship and discover some truths that will help us to be better friends to one another. We can learn some specific principles about our own friendships as we examine theirs.

Jonathan's father, Saul, was king of Israel, and Jonathan was heir to the throne. The people of a neighboring nation, the Philistines, were sending raiding parties into Israel, and Saul had an army in the field to defend his country. Jonathan was one of his generals. Saul's strategy was to take a defensive posture, but Jonathan's was to attack. Jonathan was a man of action. At one point, Jonathan and his armor-bearer won a battle for the entire nation (see 1 Sam. 14:6-15, 20, 22-23).

Eventually, the Philistines tried a different approach. They sent out a champion, a giant of a man, who challenged the armies of Israel to send out one of their men to fight him. The army of the winner would be the victor. Every morning and evening for forty days, Goliath had been shouting his challenge to the terrified army of Israel. "On hearing the Philistine's words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified" (1 Sam. 17:11).

Saul, who should have inspired his men's courage, was shaking like a leaf along with his men. Then a young shepherd boy showed up. David had been sent by his father to the camp to see how his brothers were faring. When he heard Goliath's challenge, he was outraged. Everyone knows the story of Goliath's demise, brought about by young David's slingshot. (If you'd like to read it again, it's in 1 Samuel 17.) The story of David's victory over Goliath helps us understand an important aspect of David's friendship with Jonathan: They had a lot in common.

True Friends Have Something in Solomon

After David's heroic encounter with Goliath, it's easy to see why David and Jonathan became such inseparable friends.

• They both took the initiative to act.
• They both had great faith in God's power.
• They both had courage despite the odds against them.
• They both experienced God's deliverance in battle.
• They both inspired loyalty in others.
• They both were men of integrity.
• They both led others to victory.
• They both were loved by the people. (see 1 Sam. 14:45; 18:16.)
• They were men who thought and acted alike.

That's why Jonathan opened his heart in a commitment to David that lasted all his life. And that brings us to another important aspect of friendship . .

True Friends Are One in spirit

"Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt" (1 Sam. 18:1-4).

Jonathan believed something Saul refused to accept. Samuel the prophet had already told Saul that God had rejected him as king. Because of his disobedience, God had chosen a man after His own heart to be king after Saul. The throne would not be handed down to Saul's son.

When Saul's son Jonathan gave David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt, he was acknowledging the shepherd boy David as his peer. But more than that, I believe Jonathan knew this was the man God had chosen to be Israel's king, even though Samuel had anointed David in a private ceremony, and it was unlikely anyone outside David's family knew about it.

Jonathan was, in effect, stepping aside. There was no jealousy in his heart, no attempt at keeping his distance, no desire to protect his privileged position.

Did you ever meet someone and hit it off immediately? If so, you probably made the effort to see each other again and developed a friendship. Do you have a friend now who sees eye to eye with you on most important things? Are you alike in your responses? Although opposites attract and add diversity to our lives, there's a freedom to relax, explore, and grow in a friendship where there is oneness in spirit.

True Friends hove Each Other Selflessly

Thrice we read that Jonathan loved David as himself. Actually, Jonathan loved David more than himself. He willingly gave up any hopes that he would succeed his father, and he entered into a covenant friendship with David. From then on he was concerned with David's interests over his own. And in this relationship, Jonathan had more to give than David did.

Do you have a friend for whom you will sacrifice your time, plans, and resources when she needs you? Have you stopped in the middle of a busy day to rush to her side in an emergency? Do you pray for her and with her? Do you call to keep in touch daily when she's going through a difficult experience? Do you invite her for meals? Do you plan an outing that will interest and divert her? Do you care for her children so that she and her husband can get away for a night?

When we love someone else as much as we love ourselves, it means we will sacrifice ourselves for them. We'll be there when they need us.

Saul was delighted with David's military prowess and put him in charge of the military campaigns against the Philistines. The people loved him too. But Saul's pleasure turned into fear and jealousy as David's popularity increased. Saul gradually realized that this young man could most definitely replace him. So he tried to kill David a couple of times and plotted his death in many other ways. Nothing worked. David came out of every situation alive and well.

True Friends Protect and Intercede for Each Other

As Saul became more and more mentally unstable, he did something that put Jonathan in a very tough spot. Jonathan was forced to choose between loyalty to his father, who was doing wrong, and his friend David.

"Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David and warned him, 'My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I'll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out" (1 Sam. 19:1-3).

At this point, Jonathan tried to convince his father Saul that he shouldn't kill David, who had done him no wrong. He reminded him that David had been used by God against Goliath. Somehow, at least for the time being, he changed his father's mind. "Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: 'As surely as the LORD lives, David will not be put to death" (1 Sam. 19:6).

True Friends Are Honest with Each Other

What do you do when someone says something unkind or untrue about a friend of yours? Do you believe it? Do you speak up? Do you try to reconcile them? Or do you say nothing. Remember: Evil prospers when good people remain silent. A true friend protects her (or his) friends. As wise King Solomon said, "A friend loves at all times" (Prov. 17:17).

Sadly, in David's story, it wasn't long before Saul made two more attempts to kill David. This time the younger man fled for his life. He first went to Samuel, the prophet, to tell him all that had happened. But then he turned to Jonathan.

"Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, 'What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?" (1 Sam. 20:1).

True Friends Are There in Times of Trouble

By this time, David was more realistic about Saul than Jonathan was. Jonathan thought he had his father's confidence. He thought he could continue to protect David. But Saul's spear had been thrown at David twice, so David knew how murderous Saul really was. David was afraid, and he was able to say so to Jonathan. He didn't pretend, posture, or put on a brave front. He freely expressed his feelings and fears to his friend.

Do you have a friend like that? Are you that kind of a friend yourself? Can your friends be honest with you about their feelings? Do you empathize? Do you weep with them? Or are you quick to pat them on the back, say something spiritual, preach a little sermon, and go on about your business? True friendship provides a safe place to honestly express yourself and still be loved.

Jonathan looked at his distraught friend and made his decision. He told David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you" (1 Sam. 20:4).

True Friends Want God's Will for Each Other

David suggested a plan that would reveal Saul's true intentions toward him: "Tomorrow is the New Moon festival, and I am supposed to dine with the king; but let me go and hide in the field until the evening of the day after tomorrow. If your father misses me at all, tell him, 'David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to Bethlehem, his hometown, because an annual sacrifice is being made there for his whole clan.' If he says, 'Very well,' then your servant is safe. But if he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is determined to harm me" (1 Sam. 20:5b-7).

In response to David's words, Jonathan made a covenant with David that would extend to his descendants.

"By the LORD, the God of Israel, I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? But if my father is inclined to harm you, may the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away safely. May the LORD be with you as he has been with my father. But show me unfailing kindness like that of the LORD as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family—not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David's enemies from the face of the earth" (1 Sam. 20:12-15).

In those days, when a new dynasty took the throne, often the members of the preceding royal family were killed so that there wouldn't be any rivals stirring up rebellion. Jonathan knew David would be king and that he would not be. He asked for his own life and that of his family.

Jonathan had all the qualities necessary to be a good king. He was not disqualified because of his own failure but because of his father's. He could have been bitter and resentful because his future power and glory were lost to him. But Jonathan embraced God's will for himself and for David, his friend.

True Friends Do Not Compete with Each Other

How do you feel when a friend succeeds in something you felt you were qualified for? Did you have a friend who was chosen as cheerleader in high school and you didn't make the squad? Were you as close after that? What happens to a relationship when an old friend moves to an expensive new house and you are still struggling to survive in your starter home? Or has a baby when you've been trying for years to get pregnant?

Jealousy and envy are like termites that eat away at the structure of a friendship, leaving nothing but sawdust. God has given each of us unique abilities. When we accept God's will for ourselves and our friends, we will not be in competition with them but will genuinely rejoice in their success. We will show them, as Jonathan said, "unfailing kindness."

In Hebrew, the original language of the Old Testament, Jonathan used a wonderful word for unfailing kindness. Hesed describes the Lord's unconditional, unfailing, loyal love and faithfulness to His people. Jonathan said, "unfailing kindness like that of the Lord."

True Friends Are Loyal to the End

Jonathan was not reluctant to demand of David a guarantee that extended to his descendants. He loved David and trusted his integrity to keep this covenant he asked of him. Do your friends know you are loyal to them? Can they trust you to be faithful to them? Can they trust you to extend your love to their children? Do you have a friend you feel that way about?

I have a friend who makes an effort to see my children and maintain a relationship with them. I can't tell you how much I appreciate her love for them. One friend like that will bless us for a lifetime!

True Friends Grieve When separated

In this case, Jonathan tested his father, and Saul failed the test. So Jonathan met David at the place they planned.

"David got up from the south side of the stone, and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. They kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.

"Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying 'The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.' Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town" (1 Sam. 20:41-42).

They wept in genuine grief because they would no longer be able to be together openly. Their fellowship was over; their friendship could only be enjoyed secretly and at a distance. David became a fugitive from the king's murderous jealousy. He was on the run for ten years. From then on, Saul's major military campaign was against David. "Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands" (Sam. 23:14b).

Before I left Long Island and moved to 'Texas, there were two women I was especially close to. We laughed at the same things. We could say anything we felt to each other and be understood. After I moved away from them, I remember feeling so lonely for them.

There's something special about friends who knew you when you were young. You had similar struggles in the early years of marriage. Your children grew up together. There are memories that can't be duplicated in later years. Someone has said, "New friends are like silver, but old friends are like gold." Keep in touch with old friends even when there's distance between you. The memories are too good to forget.

True Friends Build Each Other Up Spiritually

Scripture tells us of only one more meeting between these two dear friends. "While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this' The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh" (1 Sam. 23:15-18).

Jonathan helped David find his strength in God. He encouraged his faith. Jonathan couldn't be with David, but God was with him every moment. Jonathan believed David would be king, and he was willing to take second place. What a big-hearted man he was! They renewed the covenant they had made before, and they parted for the last time.

Do your friendships have a spiritual dimension? We help each other most when we encourage each other to depend on God. When we remind each other of God's promises, it strengthens faith that may have wavered.

Do you pray for a friend who is in such pain she can't even pray for herself? For a believer, friendships cannot omit the life of the Spirit. They go far below the surface. This may mean sharing your faith in Christ with a friend who does not know Him. But it definitely means that in friendships between believers, Jesus Christ is included. It's a threesome.

Jonathan's hope that he would live to see David become king would not come true. In a final battle with the Philistines Saul and three of his sons were killed. One of these sons was Jonathan. When the news came to David, his grief was overwhelming. He wrote a lament recorded in 2 Samuel 1. He ended it with these words that spoke of his love for Jonathan:

How the mighty have fallen in battle!
Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women. (2 Sam. 1:25-26)

"More wonderful than the love of women." These two men were second selves to each other—soul mates. It infuriates me to hear homosexuals insist that this means David and Jonathan had a homosexual relationship. This argument implies that two people can't have a same-sex friendship without the physical act of sex, which is patently ridiculous. As a matter of fact, the words used to describe the love Jonathan and David had for each other are never used in the Bible to describe a homosexual relationship. The word used for that is one that means to "know carnally" (Gen. 19:5).

True Friends Keep Their Promises

What about the covenant David and Jonathan made and renewed about Jonathan's family? Years later, David remembered and kept his promise.

"David asked, 'Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan's sake?" (2 Sam. 9:1).

Jonathan had a son, Mephibosheth, who was five years old when his father died. A nurse, fleeing with him to save his life, had dropped him, and he was crippled for life. Now Mephibosheth had a son of his own. David sent for Mephibosheth.

"When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. "David said, 'Mephibosheth!'

"'Your servant,' he replied.

"'Don't be afraid, David said to him, 'for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table" (2 Sam. 9:6-7).

David restored Mephibosheth's inheritance and adopted him into his own family for Jonathan's sake. Death did not end David's love for Jonathan. He faithfully kept the covenant he had made with him.

Can your friends trust you to be true to your word? Do you say you will call or visit, then fail to follow through? Are you full of excuses? Friendships must be nurtured and kept alive. They are too precious to neglect.

If you are longing for friendship, ask God to give you another woman who will be your friend. And commit yourself to being the kind of person she will want for a friend. Your emotional and spiritual growth won't really reach maturity if you are not able to be a friend.

Friendship with God through the Lord Jesus

There's one more thing we should notice before we leave David and Jonathan. The loving-kindness David showered on Mephibosheth for Jonathan's sake is a picture of God's loving-kindness to us for Jesus' sake. Mephibosheth did nothing to deserve it. He was poor, helpless, and hopeless, afraid for his life. Likewise, we can do nothing to deserve God's loving-kindness to us.

Each of us was born a sinner, helpless and hopeless to change ourselves. Jesus' death and resurrection so satisfied the holiness and justice of God, that He can make us His children and give us an inheritance for Jesus' sake.

I hope you aren't trying to earn God's love. We cannot earn what He offers as a free gift. We must simply reach out and take the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. That's what it means to believe on Him. And that's how we are able to enjoy friendship with God, and therefore to share genuine, spiritual friendship with one another.

²⁵ Dee Brestin, The Joy of Women's Friendships (Wheaton, Ill.: Victor/SF Publications, 1993), 10.

I hope the ideas I've shared in this book have prompted you to consider how healthy, God-given emotions can enrich your life spiritually as well as in your everyday activities and attitudes.

To help you delve deeper into the lessons and suggestions presented in these pages, you might use these questions for personal or group study. They were designed to be studied ahead of the lesson. You'll find that your personal interaction with the Scriptures will give you a greater knowledge of the ways emotions can affect your life and enhance your relationship with God, with others, and with yourself.

Chapter 1 - Nurturing Our Spiritual and Emotional Growth

1. Read 1 Timothy 6:17. Why did God give us emotions? What does this tell us about God in light of Genesis 1:26?

2. Read John 1:12-13. What is one of the wonderful things that happens when a person trusts Jesus Christ as his or her Savior?

3. Do you think of emotions in a positive or a negative way? Do you think there is a connection between your emotions and your spiritual life?

4. Are you controlled by emotions that hinder your spiritual growth, such as bitterness, envy, inferiority, or rejection? Read Colossians 3:13-15 and write down a specific way you can begin to deal with an emotion that is a problem for you.

5. Read Colossians 2:6-7 and Ephesians 4:11-13. What is God's goal for his children?

6. Read 1 Peter 2:2. What is the first thing that is essential for growth to spiritual and emotional maturity? How does this help us mature?

7. Read John 16:23-24 and Philippians 4:6-7. What else is necessary for growth? Why is prayer needed if God is all-knowing? How does it help us mature?

8. Read Hebrews 10:25 and Colossians 3:16. Name something else that is necessary for growth to maturity. What benefits do we derive from being with other believers? Can you think of someone who has helped you mature?

9. Read Matthew 7:24-27 and James 1:22-25. Are studying Scripture, prayer, and fellowship with other Christians enough? What else is essential for our growth to maturity? Can you think of a time when you obeyed a specific Scripture and it changed your life?

10. Read Hebrews 5:13-14. How can disobedience retard your growth to maturity?

Chapter 2 - God, Our Healer

1. Read Exodus 15:22-27. What did God intend the healing of the bitter waters to teach His people? In what way was this a test? What is usually your response to difficult circumstances? Can you think of ways God has tested you?

2. How did God reveal Himself here? What did the Israelites' future well-being depend upon? How would obedience to God's commands contribute to mental, emotional, and spiritual health for anyone?

3. Read Isaiah 30:25, 57:17-18, and Psalm 147:3. Whom and when does God promise to heal? Read Isaiah 35:3-6 and write down what Isaiah said the Messiah would do when He came. Read Acts 10:38 and record how Jesus fulfilled this prophecy.

4. Read 2 Timothy 3:16-17. Why can we trust God's Word? What will it do for us? Can you think of a specific time when God's Word rebuked, corrected, or instructed you in the right way to live?

5. Read Isaiah 53:5. Do you think Isaiah's statement, "by his wounds we are healed" refers only to physical healing? Is it a guarantee that we will always be healed when we ask for it? Read 1 Peter 2:24 and see how Peter applies Isaiah's prophecy to Jesus. List some things for which we all need healing. Now write down one problem in your life for which you need healing. Note some Scripture verses that have encouraged you to turn to God for healing.

6. Scan one Gospel and note the different persons and conditions Jesus healed. Write down some of the words Jesus said to heal them. Read Luke 7:1-10 and note what was remarkable about this incident. What was the only thing the centurion asked Jesus to do? Read Psalm 107:1-2, 17-22 and find what God used to heal "those he redeemed."

Chapter 3 - Serving the Self

1. Read Genesis 13:1-18, 19:1-38. What did Abraham's solution to resolve the quarreling among the herdsmen reveal about him? Read Genesis 12:6-7. What does Lot's choice reveal about him? What should Lot have remembered?

2. Read Genesis 13:12-13, 14:12, and 19:1. Trace Lot's assimilation into Sodom's society. What did his selfish choice cost him? What principle do you see here for us?

3. Read Mark 9:33-37 and Luke 9:44-48. What was one thing that motivated the disciples to follow Jesus? What were their expectations? How did Jesus define greatness? What example did He use? What characteristics of children did He want them to have?

4. Read Matthew 20:17-28 and Mark 10:32-45. What were the ambitions of James, John, and their mother? What was remarkable about the timing of their request? How did Jesus define greatness? Whom did He use as the example of greatness?

5. From the examples of Lot and the disciples, what do we learn about the effects of selfish ambition and self-centeredness on our character and our relationships?

6. Read Galatians 5:19-20 and James 3:13-16. What are the sources of self-centeredness and selfish ambition? What do these attitudes produce?

7. Read Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:1-11; and Romans 12:10, 13. What is the source of an unselfish interest in others? How will this be demonstrated in our interpersonal relationships? In our service for the Lord?

8. Is self-centeredness keeping you from spiritual maturity? Is there a particular area where this is obvious? Memorize a verse that helps you, and then apply it to your life.

Chapter 4 - The Burden of Guilt

1. Read Luke 19:1-9. Describe Zaccheus and his reputation. What was remarkable about what Jesus said to him? Read Matthew 9:12-13 and Romans 5:8. What does this tell us about Jesus?

2. How do we know that Zaccheus felt guilty? What did he confess? What did his intent to make restitution indicate? Read Exodus 22:1, 3-4. What must a person recognize before he or she trusts Christ as his or her Savior?

3. Why did Jesus say, "Salvation has come to this house"? Read 1 Peter 3:18, Ephesians 1:7, and Hebrews 9:14. Does just confession of sin and restitution save us? How does Jesus cleanse us of a guilty conscience?

4. Read 2 Samuel 11 and 12. What sins did David commit? Do you think he had a guilty conscience? Read Psalm 32:3-4. How long did he ignore it? Do you think he thought his cover-up had worked?

5. What does 2 Samuel 11:27 tell us? Why do you think Nathan approached David the way he did? Why was David so angry against the hypothetical man?

6. What was David's response to Nathan's statement, "You are the man"? Read 2 Samuel 12:13 and Psalm 51. How do we know David realized the enormity of his sin? Did God forgive him? Did he escape the consequences of his sins?

7. Read 2 Samuel 12:14. Why is it so serious when a believer flagrantly sins? Read 1 John 1:9. How can we be forgiven? On what basis does God forgive us? What does it mean "to confess our sins," and why is it necessary?

8. Do you feel guilty about something that is so bad you think God can't forgive you? What have you learned about God's forgiveness? Will you do what is necessary to receive it?

Chapter 5 - Nothing to Fear But Fear

1. Read Genesis 27. Why did Jacob leave home? What reasons did he have to fear Esau? Was Esau justified in his anger?

2. Read Genesis 28:10-21. What assurance did God give him on his journey? How did Jacob respond?

3. Read Genesis 31:3, 11-13. Why did Jacob decide to leave his father-in-law Laban after twenty years? Read Genesis 32:1-2. How did God continue to encourage him?

4. Read Genesis 32 and 33. With what attitude did Jacob approach Esau? Why was he so afraid? Analyze his prayer in Genesis 32:9-12. Do you ever pray like that? What did he expect to accomplish by his lavish gifts?

5. Read Genesis 32:22-32. What was the significance of Jacob's encounter with God? What should he have learned? What did he do next that proved he was still afraid of Esau?

6. Why do you think Esau's feelings about Jacob had changed? Did Jacob completely lose his fear of Esau? Read Genesis 33:12-17. What more could God have done to reassure Jacob?

7. Is there something you are afraid of? How does God give us confidence today to overcome our fears? Read Psalm 34 every day for a week and write down what God promises to do for you. Choose one verse to memorize and pray it back to God every time you feel afraid.

Chapter 6 - Weary of Worry

1. Read 2 Kings 6:8-23. What did Elisha do repeatedly to frustrate the king of Aram's strategy? How did Elisha know his plans?

2. What did the king do to get rid of Elisha? Did the servant have a legitimate reason to be afraid? Where did he turn for help?

3. How did Elisha reassure the servant? What did the servant see? Did what the servant worried about ever happen?

4. What do we learn for ourselves from this incident? Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Ephesians 6:10-18, and Hebrews 1:14. What provision has God made for our protection today? How should our awareness of God's promises affect our attitudes when we are involved in worrisome circumstances or relationships?

5. Read Matthew 6:25-34. List the reasons Jesus tells us not to worry. What command and promise does He give us in Matthew 6:33? Do you need to make an adjustment in your priorities to heed this command? How does this promise work as an antidote for worry?

6. What specific things do you worry about—health, marriage, children, money, abilities, social acceptance, friends, Christian life, the future? Write down your specific worries and apply to each item on your list the reasons Jesus gives not to worry. Then, with an act of your will, tell God you trust Him for each worry specifically. What will you do the next time that worry sneaks into your thoughts?

Chapter 7 - A Disease Called Unforgiveness

1. Read Genesis 37. Describe how Joseph's brothers felt about him. Why did they feel this way? Did Joseph deserve this hatred?

2. What does the brothers' treatment of Joseph reveal about their characters? What did it reveal about their feelings toward their father?

3. Read Genesis 39-41. Describe Joseph's character. Did his brothers' rejection and cruelty toward Joseph affect his integrity? Did false accusations or abandonment disillusion him? Read Genesis 39:2-6, 21-23. What was the reason for Joseph's success?

4. Read Genesis 39:9; 40:8; and 41:16, 25, 28, 32, 38) What was Joseph's view of God during the thirteen years of his bondage? What is remarkable about this in view of his circumstances?

5. Have you ever been unjustly treated or slandered? How do you feel about it? Have you become bitter? Have you withdrawn so you won't be hurt again? Have you become cynical about trusting people? Are you angry at God?

6. Read Genesis 42-45. Why do you think Joseph put his brothers through so much before he revealed himself to them? What did he want to be certain of ? How had they changed?

7. What conclusions about the events of his life had Joseph come to during his long exile in Egypt? Read Genesis 45:4-8 and 50:19-21. Why was Joseph able to forgive his brothers?

8. How do you think the story might be different if Joseph had allowed bitterness and resentment to fester in his spirit? Are you bitter about something that has happened to you? Will you, by an act of your will, believe that God will use that difficult circumstance for good in your life and the lives of others?

Chapter 8 - The Truth about Anger

1. Read Matthew 23, Mark 10:13-16, and John 2:13-16. What made Jesus angry? What do we learn about God from this? What makes you angry? How do we distinguish between anger that is sin and anger that is not sin?

2. Read Exodus 32. Whose anger does Exodus 32 describe? After reading this chapter, do you think anger is always a sin? Why or why not? What do we learn about God's anger in Exodus 34:6 and Psalm 30:5?

3. Read Numbers 20. What did Moses do from anger and frustration? Consider Moses' angry action in light of James 1:19-20. Can you think of an incident in your life where you spoke or acted rashly in anger? What was the result?

4. Read Ephesians 4:26-27. What is the warning in these verses? What is the practical advice on how to handle anger? What does it mean to "give the devil a foothold"? What might be some of the results?

5. Read Galatians 5:19-21, Ephesians 4:31-32, and Colossians 3:8. What is the source of rage and outbursts of temper? What should a believer's attitude be toward these emotions?

6. Read Romans 6:11-18. Substitute "anger" or "rage" every time the word "sin" appears. What has God done to free you from this sin? What must you do to experience this freedom?

Chapter 9 - Envy—The Green-Eyed Tyrant

1. Read Genesis 29-30. What do you think is the difference between jealousy and envy? Make two lists describing Rachel and Leah.

2. Remember that both Rachel and Leah had to cooperate in the wedding-night deception of Jacob. How do you think that affected Rachel and Leah's relationship with each other?

3. What did Rachel have that Leah wanted? What did Leah have that Rachel wanted? How did each woman try to get what she wanted?

4. Read Genesis 31-32. What was the sisters' attitude toward their father, Laban? What do we learn about Rachel in Genesis 31:33-35? What do we learn about her in 35:16-20?

5. Do you think either Rachel or Leah ever got over her envy of the other? What effect did their relationship have on their family life? On Jacob? Read Genesis 37:1-11 and consider how their relationship continued to have an impact on their children, even after Rachel's death.

6. Read Proverbs 14:30 and 27:4 and Song of Solomon 8:6. In your own words write, what you think these passages' warn us about envy and jealousy.

7. Read Mark 7:22, Romans 13:13, 1 Corinthians 3:3, 2 Corinthians 12:20, Galatians 5:20, and James 3:13-16. How are envy and jealousy described in the New Testament? How do they affect us?

8. Do you feel jealous or envious of someone else for something he or she is or has? How has this affected your relationships and your spiritual life?

9. First John 1:9 is the provision God has made to deliver you from destructive emotions, including envy and jealousy. Based on what you have learned, what will you do about it?

Chapter 10 - The Reality of Rejection

1. Read Genesis 29:16-30:24. How do you think Leah felt, knowing she was not as beautiful or as desired as Rachel? Imagine her feelings at Jacob's reaction when he saw who his bride actually was the next day. Do you think she felt rejection?

2. What do you think her marriage was like? Imagine the different ways the statement "he loved Rachel more than Leah" was demonstrated in their marriage.

3. How did God compensate for Leah's rejection? In that day what gave a woman status and value?

4. What were Leah's expectations when she bore her first son? Were they fulfilled? What was she willing to settle for by the time she had her third son?

5. Where had Leah's focus shifted when her fourth son was born? What conclusion does it seem she arrived at?

6. Genesis 30 records the mutual jealousy and competition between Rachel and Leah. What do we learn about Leah in what she named her maid's children? What does the incident with the mandrakes (which were thought to produce fertility) tell us about Rachel? Leah? Jacob?

7. Read Genesis 33:1-3. What did Leah want from her husband when her sixth son was born? What does Jacob's arrangement of his family indicate? Imagine how Leah felt with the constant evidence that she was not loved no matter what she did.

8. Have you experienced rejection by your family, husband, children, or friends? How have you responded? Has it diminished your sense of worth?

9. Read Ephesians 1:3-14 and 1 John 4:7-19. Write down all the things described in this passage showing what God did to demonstrate His love and acceptance of Leah. How might your feelings change if you base your value on God's acceptance rather than human rejection?

Chapter 11 - Greed: A Fearful Master

1. Read 1 Kings 21. Why did Ahab want Naboth's land?
Read Numbers 36:7 and Leviticus 25:23. Why didn't Ahab just appropriate it? What was his attitude when Naboth refused?

2. Why do you think Exodus 20:17 is included as one of the Ten Commandments? What can result from coveting? What were the results in the story of Naboth, Ahab, and Jezebel?

3. Read Luke 12:13-21. Meditate on Luke 12:15, substituting your own name for the word "man's." Then list all the things you consider valuable. Name each of these "valuable" possessions individually in place of the words "abundance of his possessions."

4. Read Luke 12:21. What do you think Jesus meant by the phrase "rich toward God"? How does a person become "rich toward God"?

5. Explain in your own words the meaning of Luke 16:13. Have you had an experience that proves the truth of this statement?

6. Read 1 Timothy 6:6-10 and 17-19. What are the dangers of wanting to "get rich"? How is the love of riches described in this Scripture? What is the warning in Proverbs 23:4-5?

7. What kind of wealth should we desire instead of material wealth? What is the difference between this kind of wealth and material wealth?

8. What things have you set your heart on—a better house, car, furniture, clothes? From a practical standpoint, how do you reflect an attitude of being "rich toward God"? In what practical ways are you laying up treasure in heaven? Do you need to confess the sin of greed and materialism and change the direction of your life?

Chapter 12 - Pride's Subtle Masks

1. Read 2 Chronicles 26. What were Uzziah's accomplishments? How do you think he felt when he saw enemies defeated and the country secure? What does 2 Chronicles 26:5 say was the reason for his success?

2. Read 2 Chronicles 26:16. What led to Uzziah's downfall? What did he do that was forbidden? What made him think he could do it? What were the consequences?

3. When you look at all the good things Uzziah did, why did this one act virtually end his effective reign? Can you think of reasons for God's severe judgment? What lesson can we learn from Uzziah's story?

4. Read Deuteronomy 8:10-18. What are the dangers we face when we experience success? What is the difference between pride and a sense of satisfaction?

5. Read Proverbs 8:13; 11:2; 13:10; 16:5, 18; and 29:23. What problems can pride cause us? What is God's view of this attitude?

6. Read Psalm 31:23, 101:5, 138:6; Romans 12:16; 1 Corinthians 13:4; 2 Timothy 3:2; and James 4:6. What else do we learn about pride in these verses?

7. Read 2 Corinthians 5:12, 7:4, 8:24; Galatians 6:4; and James 1:9. When is it all right to be proud? Is there someone about whom you feel this kind of pride? Write a principle about pride that you've learned from these passages.

8. What do you take pride in—your family background, home, income, appearance, accomplishments, social status? How has this affected your attitude toward others who are not in the same situation you are?

9. Select one of the verses cited in questions 5, 6, or 7 above that is most helpful to you and then memorize it. Ask God to make it real in your life and to cleanse you from the sin of pride.

Chapter 13 - Inferiority—Another Form of Pride?

1. Read Jeremiah 1. What purpose did God have for Jeremiah's life? When did He make those plans? What light does this throw on the humanity of the pre born child?

2. How did Jeremiah respond to this great responsibility? What emotions did he feel? Do you think he was justified in feeling this way?

3. What was Jeremiah's message to be? Would he be a popular preacher? What effect do you think this had on a person of Jeremiah's temperament?

4. What promises did the Lord make to Jeremiah? How did God equip him? How would Jeremiah be able to fulfill his ministry in the face of the opposition of the nation's leaders? What principle can we learn from Jeremiah's experience?

5. Is a feeling of inferiority or inadequacy an acceptable reason for refusing a responsibility that is offered to us? Have you ever done this?

6. Read 2 Corinthians 2:16 and 3:4-6. Did the apostle Paul always feel adequate for his tasks? What gave him confidence and ability?

7. Do you have feelings of inferiority and inadequacy? Do you have doubts about your ability to be a good mother? To keep your job? To get or keep a husband? To make good friends?

8. Where have your feelings of inferiority come from? What past experiences have reinforced them? What experiences have refuted them? Do you find it harder to believe good things about yourself than negative things?

9. 9. Read John 15:5; Philippians 2:13, 4:13; and 2 Timothy 1:7. In what specific areas do you feel inferior or inadequate? How will these verses help you overcome feelings of inferiority? How will you apply them?

Chapter 14 - Dealing with Disappointment

1. Read Exodus 2:11-15 and Acts 7:23-25. What expectations did Moses have when he intervened to stop the Egyptian from beating the Hebrew slave? What emotions do you think he felt after his failure? What conclusions do you think he came to in his forty years of caring for sheep in the wilderness?

2. Read Exodus 3:1-5:23. What were Moses' expectations this time when he went back to intervene on behalf of the Hebrew captives? Why was he discouraged? Read Exodus 6:1-10. How did God encourage him? Read Exodus 6:12. What was Moses' response? What did that indicate?

3. Read Numbers 11:1-25. Why was Moses so discouraged this time? What did he ask for? In what two ways did God answer his request? What does this tell us about the methods God uses today to help us when we are overwhelmed?

4. Read 1 Samuel 27:1-12. What did David's discouragement cause him to do? What role did he have to play? Read Psalm 7:1-2. In what better way did he handle this problem another time? What principle in spiritual warfare do we learn from this incident?

5. Read Luke 24:13-27. What expectations did the disciples have? Were they right? What does Luke 24:21 describe as their reason for being disappointed? What are some reasons for our disappointments today? What can disappointment lead to?

6. Read Luke 18:25, 31-32. Do you think Jesus was disappointed with the disciples? What should they have remembered? What did Jesus say would have cured their disappointment?

7. What failed expectations have you had? Have you responded with disappointment and discouragement? From your study, what have you learned is the cure for disappointment and discouragement? Will you do it?

Chapter 15 - Dwarfed by Discontentment

1. Read Exodus 15:22-25, 16:1-16, and 17:1-7. What was the reason for the Israelites' grumbling in each of the incidents described? Who did they grumble against? Who does Exodus 16:8 identify as their real target? What did the Lord do each time they complained? Why was He so patient with them?

2. Read Numbers 11:1-35 and 14:1-45. After two years, how did the Lord respond to the Israelites' constant complaining? Why was He angry? What should the Israelites have remembered? What severe punishment did He finally decree? What does this teach us?

3. Read Numbers 20:2-13 and 21:4-8. Did the people learn anything from their severe punishment? What further punishments did they bring upon themselves? How does this instruct us about God's attitude toward complaining?

4. Read 1 Corinthians 10:1-13. What are we supposed to learn from Israel's example? How does a complaining attitude harm us emotionally and spiritually?

5. Read Philippians 4:11-13 and 1 Timothy 6:6-8. What did Paul say he had learned? Why do you think this has to be learned? What are our natural tendencies?

6. Read Philippians 2:14, James 5:9, 1 Peter 4:9, and Hebrews 13:5. What are we told to do without grumbling? Why should we be content? Read Ephesians 5:20. What is the antidote for complaining?

7. Is there something you often complain about? Even if you don't verbalize it, do you think it? Do you usually look for the flaw in everything? Is it difficult for you to enjoy life? Confess your discontent as sin. Memorize one of the verses cited in questions 4, 5, or 6 above and say it every time you are tempted to grumble.

Chapter 16 - The Agony of Grief

1. Read Ruth 1. What was the significance of Naomi's loss in that day? What positive and negative things do her instructions to her daughters-in-law reveal about her? What does Ruth's response tell us about her?

2. What was Naomi's emotional state on her return? Whom does she blame for her condition? Do you think this was justified? See also 1 Kings 17:17-24.

3. Read Lamentations 3:32-39 and Psalm 119:67. What are some of the reasons God allows us to suffer affliction and grief? What are the benefits?

4. Read Ruth 2 and 3. Read Ruth 2:19-23 and consider when Naomi's faith begin to revive. Trace how God worked behind the scenes in Naomi's life to keep His promise in Deuteronomy 10:18. What people did He use?

5. Read Luke 7:11-15 and John 11:1-44. How did Jesus respond to those who were grieving? What does this tell us about expressing genuine grief? What do we learn from Him about helping others who have suffered loss? What insights do we learn from these passages about the attitude believers should have toward death? See also Hebrews 2:14 and 1 Corinthians 15:51-57.

6. Read Psalm 10:14, 147:3 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 7:6-7. What do we learn from these passages about God as our Comforter? What methods does He use to comfort us? Can you think of times He has used these methods to comfort you? How does He use our sorrows to equip us to help others?

7. Have you suffered loss of some kind—a loved one's death, the end of a relationship, loss of property, moving away from friends, loss of health? What have you learned that can comfort you and strengthen your faith? What steps do you need to take when you are faced with sorrow and loss?

Chapter 17 - Lessons in Loneliness

1. Read Jeremiah 1 and 2. What indication do we have that Jeremiah would lead a very lonely life? Would he be a popular preacher?

2. Read Jeremiah 16:1-8. What else did God demand of Jeremiah that increased his loneliness? What was the basic reason for his isolation? What message did God intend that isolation to bring?

3. Read Jeremiah 37 and 38. Why was Jeremiah beaten and thrown into prison and into the cistern? How could he have prevented this abuse? Why didn't he? What means did God use to help him?

4. Read Jeremiah 8:18-9:2, 15:10-18, and 20:7-18. What emotions did Jeremiah experience and express? What did he accuse God of? How did he feel about the way people treated him? What did he wish for himself?

5. Read Jeremiah 20:11-12; 31:31-34; 32:17-27, 37-41; and 33:1-9. What did Jeremiah believe about God that comforted him in his suffering and loneliness? Read Jeremiah 33:1-9. What did God promise about Jeremiah's country that gave him hope?

6. Read John 7:5; Mark 3:21; and Matthew 26:34-56, 27:46. What different kinds of loneliness did Jesus experience? What was ultimately the worst abandonment of all? Read 2 Corinthians 5:21 and Hebrews 3:18, 4:15-16 to learn some of the reasons for His suffering.

7. Read Psalm 68:6, 27:10; Matthew 28:20b; and Hebrews 13:5-6. Is loneliness always bad? What are good reasons for loneliness? What do we learn through loneliness to help ourselves and others? How does loneliness shift our dependence from people to God?

8. Do you ever feel lonely? Are you lonely for friends? For family? For a husband? In your marriage? Are you lonely for God? What steps of faith can you take from what you've learned in this study?

Chapter 18 - Friendship's Precious gift

1. Read 1 Samuel 14 and 17. List the ways in which Jonathan and David were alike. How did they differ? What principles about friendship do we learn from these observations?

2. Read 1 Samuel 18. Who took the initiative in Jonathan and David's friendship? How might we have expected Jonathan to treat David in view of Jonathan's father's jealousy and fear of David's potential power? What does this tell us about Jonathan?

3. Read 1 Samuel 19 and 20. What did Jonathan do to protect David? How did this affect his relationship with his father?

4. What was the covenant Jonathan and David made with each other in 1 Samuel 20:13-17? Read 1 Samuel 23:15-18. How did Jonathan keep this covenant? Read 2 Samuel 9. How did David keep this covenant? What was the usual procedure when a new dynasty came into power?

5. Read 1 Samuel 15:26-28. What did Jonathan believe and accept? What does this tell us about Jonathan?

6. What does 1 Samuel 23:16 tell us about the spiritual dimension of Jonathan and David's friendship?

7. Describe the qualities of this friendship with specific adjectives. Do you have friendships with these qualities?

8. Is there someone you would like to have as a close friend? How might you initiate the friendship? What do you expect to get from it? What are you willing to give to maintain it?

October 12, 2014

A familiar wall plaque motto reads, “Jesus never fails.” I like that reminder. It tells me that Jesus is always trustworthy and consistent in His faithfulness toward us. Indeed, “Jesus never fails!”

But if we honestly were to evaluate Jesus’ ministry to this point in the Gospel of John, we might wonder, “Has Jesus failed in His ministry?” The picture John gives us just a few days before Jesus’ crucifixion is rather dismal. Granted, He has a few faithful followers here and there. But even the twelve weren’t very solid. Judas would soon betray Him; Peter would deny Him; and all would desert Him in His hour of need. Thomas at first would doubt Jesus’ resurrection. They didn’t seem like a promising group to which to entrust the entire future of the faith!

As we see in our text (12:42-43), there are a few of the Jewish leaders who profess to believe in Jesus, but they’re afraid to take a public stand for Him. The majority of the Jewish leaders were intent on killing Jesus. Most of the Jewish people would not commit themselves to Christ for fear of being excommunicated (John 9:22). Besides, they wanted a political Messiah who would deliver them from Rome, and Jesus didn’t seem to fit the bill.

So as John ends this long section that has shown mounting opposition to Jesus, we may wonder, “Did Jesus fail in His ministry? If not, why didn’t the Jews accept Jesus as their Messiah?” For that matter, why haven’t most people down through history believed in Jesus as Savior and Lord?

The question of why most Jews in Jesus’ day and most Jews down through history have rejected Jesus as their Messiah probably isn’t keeping you awake at night. We’re used to the fact that the church consists mostly of Gentiles. But to the apostles, who were all Jewish, this was a huge concern. It threatened the credibility of who Jesus claimed to be. They lived in light of the Old Testament prophecies. They knew that the Jews were God’s chosen people and that God would send His Messiah to bless them. They also believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah. But, if that was true, then why didn’t Israel welcome Jesus joyfully? Why did they not only reject Jesus, but consent to His crucifixion? Why were more Gentiles than Jews responding favorably to the gospel?

Those questions caused the apostle Paul “great sorrow and unceasing grief” (Rom. 9:2). He devoted Romans 9-11 to answer the question of why Israel had rejected Jesus. In his answer, he emphasized God’s sovereignty even over people’s hardness of heart to show that human sin cannot thwart God’s purpose (Romans 9). He always accomplishes His will. Paul also emphasized human responsibility, both our responsibility to preach the gospel and sinners’ responsibility to respond to it (Romans 10). He concluded that a partial judicial hardening had happened to Israel until the fullness of the Gentiles had come in. Then God would fulfill His promises to Israel (Romans 11).

Our text is John’s contribution to the same difficult question of why the Jews rejected Jesus as their Messiah. John’s answer is not as comprehensive as Paul’s, but like Paul he emphasizes both God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. He shows us that human sin never derails God’s sovereign purposes, but at the same time, people are responsible for their sin and they will be judged if they refuse to believe in Christ. John’s message is:

People do not believe in Jesus because they reject the light that God has given them, resulting in God’s judicially blinding them; but some see Jesus’ glory and believe.

We’ll divide the text into four parts:

1. People do not believe in Jesus because they reject the light that He has given them (12:36-37).

John 12:36: ‘“While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light.’ These things Jesus spoke, and He went away and hid Himself from them.”

Jesus is the Light of the world (John 8:12). He exhorted the Jews to believe in Him as the Light while they had the opportunity. But then, realizing their determination to reject and kill Him, Jesus went away and hid Himself from them. We don’t know where He went, but perhaps it was Bethany to stay with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. But His departure symbolized the judicial judgment that was about to fall on Israel. It was a prophetic drama acted out to say to Israel, “If you reject Me, I will withdraw and you will not have the Light among you.” Hiding Himself also reflects the truth that John has repeatedly shown, that Jesus would die in accord with the Father’s timetable, not whenever the Jews wanted to kill Him. His death would be at the Passover, because He is the Lamb of God (John 1:29).

Then John (12:37) adds his commentary, “But though He had performed so many signs before them, yet they were not believing in Him.” John has presented seven signs (his favorite term for miracles) that Jesus has performed: turning the water into wine (John 2:1-11); healing the royal official’s son (John 4:46-54); healing the lame man by the Pool of Bethesda (John 5:1-9); feeding the 5,000 (John 6:1-14); walking on the water (John 6:16-25); opening the eyes of the man born blind (John 9:1-7); and raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11:38-44). But John (20:30) states that there were many other signs that Jesus performed which are not written in this Gospel. But the ones that he wrote should have been more than sufficient to lead people to believe in Jesus (John 20:31). Yet for the most part, the Jews did not believe.

But why would people reject Jesus as the light that God gave them, especially when that light was authenticated by these powerful miracles? John 3:19-20 answered that question:

This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.

People reject God’s light because they love their sin. Paul said a similar thing in Romans 1:18-21, where he shows that God has clearly revealed His eternal power and divine nature through creation. But people suppress the truth in unrighteousness. They want to hold onto their sins, so they hold down the truth of God as the almighty Creator and believe in ridiculous myths, like evolution, so that they can continue in their sins. This repeats the truth that I mentioned last time, that when people reject Christ, usually their main need is not to get their theological questions answered, but rather to repent of their sins.

So I will often ask a skeptic, “Are you saying that if I can give you a reasonable answer to this question, you will put your trust in Jesus as your Savior?” The one who is suppressing the truth will invariably reply, “I have a lot of other questions, too!” He’s not looking for answers; he is rejecting the light that God has given him. John 12:36-37 focuses on human responsibility for unbelief. People do not believe in Jesus because they reject the light that God has given them. And they reject the light because they love their sin. But this leads to something scary:

2. If people reject the light that God has given them, He will judicially blind them even more (12:38-40).

John 12:38-40: “This was to fulfill the word of Isaiah the prophet which he spoke: ‘Lord, who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?’ For this reason they could not believe, for Isaiah said again, ‘He has blinded their eyes and He hardened their heart, so that they would not see with their eyes and perceive with their heart, and be converted and I heal them.’”

By citing these verses from Isaiah 53:1 and Isaiah 6:10, John makes two startling claims: (1) The Jews’ rejection of Jesus was in order to fulfill prophecy; (2) The Jews were incapable of believing because God had blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts. There is a third startling claim for liberal critics who say that Isaiah didn’t write all of Isaiah: The first quote comes from so-called “second Isaiah,” while the second quote comes from “first Isaiah,” but John, writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, affirms that Isaiah wrote both quotes. Isaiah wrote all of Isaiah!

But, to go back to John’s first two claims, that the Jews’ rejection of Jesus was in order to fulfill prophecy, and that they were incapable of believing because God had blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts: D. A. Carson (The Gospel According to John [Eerdmans/Apollos], p. 447) calls those claims, “unambiguous predestinarianism.” John is saying that the Jews’ unbelief was “not only foreseen by Scripture but on that very account necessitated by Scripture” (ibid., italics his). Further, the cause of their final unbelieving rejection of Jesus was that God had judicially blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts so that they could not believe. Because the Jews would not believe, God judicially blinded them so that they could not believe. By the way, Jesus cited the same text (Isa. 6:9-10) to explain why He spoke to the multitudes in parables (Matt. 13:14-15). And Paul quoted the same verses to the unbelieving Jews who visited him in Rome to justify why he had turned to the Gentiles (Acts 28:25-27).

John’s first quote (from Isa. 53:1), “Lord, who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?” is in the context of Isaiah’s prophecy of the suffering Servant, who like a lamb led to the slaughter, would bear the sins of His people. The “arm of the Lord” refers to His mighty power. You would think that everyone who saw a miracle would believe. But John says that the arm of the Lord must be revealed. If God doesn’t open people’s eyes, they will not see that Jesus’ miracles authenticate Him as God’s Messiah. They will explain them away by natural means. This reveals the condition of people fallen in sin, who are (Eph. 4:18) “darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart.”

The same thing had happened when Moses led Israel out of bondage in Egypt as God performed mighty miracles. You would think that the Jews would have seen the plagues in Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the pillar of cloud and fire, the provision of water and manna in the wilderness, and the many other miracles as manifestations of God’s mighty power. But Moses said (Deut. 29: 2-4), “You have seen all that the Lord did before your eyes in the land of Egypt to Pharaoh and all his servants and all his land; the great trials which your eyes have seen, those great signs and wonders. Yet to this day the Lord has not given you a heart to know, nor eyes to see, nor ears to hear.” The arm of the Lord must be revealed. People are spiritually blind unless God opens their eyes!

In John 12, the idea is that in spite of the many mighty miracles that Jesus performed, people would not believe in Him as their Messiah because He didn’t fit their expectation of a mighty, conquering political Messiah. Rather (Isa. 53:2-3), “He has no stately form or majesty, that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Since Jesus didn’t fit the Jews’ expectations for their Messiah, they rejected Him even though He had performed so many signs before them.

There is an application here for us who have believed: At some point, Jesus probably won’t fit your expectations of what you thought He would be when you trusted in Him as your Savior. You may have thought that He would fix all your problems, but your problems have grown worse. You may have expected Him to save all your family and resolve all your family conflicts. But instead, your family members have hardened themselves in unbelief and they oppose you because you believe. Be careful not to fall away from Jesus when He doesn’t fit your expectations!

Dr. Carson (p. 448) acknowledges that a superficial reading of John 12:38-40 may find it “harsh, manipulative, [and] even robotic.” He offers (pp. 448-449) four things to keep in mind (which I’m paraphrasing and supplementing here): (1) “God’s sovereignty in these matters is never pitted against human responsibility.” The Bible often puts God’s sovereignty and human responsibility side by side (Acts 4:27-28): “For truly in this city there were gathered together against Your holy servant Jesus, whom You anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever Your hand and Your purpose predestined to occur.” God predestined the cross; but those who killed Jesus were responsible for their sin (see, also, Acts 2:23). In a way that we cannot understand, God is sovereign over evil and yet never responsible for it.

(2) God’s judicial hardening is not the capricious manipulation of an arbitrary Sovereign toward morally neutral or good people, but rather His holy condemnation of guilty people who are condemned to the judgment that they themselves have chosen. There are many examples of this in the Bible (Deut. 2:30; Josh. 11:20; 1 Sam. 2:25; 1 Kings 22:19-23; Rom. 9:18; 2 Thess. 2:11-12).

(3) God’s sovereignty in these matters is actually a cause for hope. If He is not sovereign over evil people, then there isn’t much point for our prayers for Him to do something when evil seems to prevail. But if the Lord truly reigns, then we can rejoice (Ps. 97:1).

(4) God’s sovereign hardening of people in Isaiah’s day so that Isaiah was commissioned to an apparently fruitless ministry (Isa. 6:8-11) was a stage in God’s “strange work” (Carson’s words, based on Isa. 28:21-22) that brought His ultimate redemptive purposes to pass. Paul argues somewhat similarly in Romans 9:22-33.

The application is that the unbelief and evil deeds of sinners never frustrate the purposes of our sovereign God, but actually fulfill His purposes (1 Pet. 2:8). While many details in the Book of Revelation are hard to understand, one clear point is that even the worldwide evil and deception of the antichrist fit into and accomplish God’s purpose for the ages. Like those who killed Jesus, the antichrist will only “do whatever [God’s] hand and [His] purpose predestined to occur.” Then God will judge him and cast him into the lake of fire. To the persecuted church, the Lord commands (Rev. 2:10), “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Thus we’ve seen that people do not believe in Jesus because they reject the light that God has given them, resulting in God’s judicially blinding them even more. In the next three verses we see that some see Jesus’ glory and believe in Him, whereas others profess to believe, but their focus is not on Jesus’ glory.

3. People believe in Christ because God has granted them some vision of Christ’s glory (John 12:41).

John 12:41: “These things Isaiah said because he saw His glory, and he spoke of Him.” That’s a remarkable statement! John is probably referring both to Isaiah 53, where Isaiah saw Jesus’ glory as the suffering servant; and to Isaiah 6, where Isaiah saw God in glory on His throne. John is saying that Isaiah saw what the Jews of Jesus’ day missed, namely that He would be glorified by His suffering for our sins (John 12:23), but He is also the exalted One whom Isaiah saw, high and lifted up in Isaiah 6. But the remarkable thing is, John identifies Jesus with the Lord (Yahweh) on His throne! In 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, Paul writes,

“…the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God…. For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

Paul is saying that Satan has blinded unbelievers so that they cannot see the glory of Christ. But when we believe, it is because God has shone in our hearts to reveal His glory in Christ. Tying in with John, Isaiah was granted a vision of Jesus’ glory. While our vision of His glory will not compare with Isaiah’s vision, or John’s (Rev. 1:12-18), or Paul’s (2 Cor. 12:3-4), the beginning of faith is when God opens your eyes to see something of Jesus’ glory. When you see His glory on the cross, you believe in Him for eternal life.

But there is one sticky matter left in our text:

4. Some profess to believe in Jesus, but their focus is on the glory of man, not on the glory of God (12:42-43).

John 12:42-43: “Nevertheless many even of the rulers believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God.”

The sticky issue is whether John is describing true believers or not. Some emphasize “believed” and argue that John is talking about men like Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, who were secret believers for fear of the Jews (John 19:38-39). They would say that they were saved, although their faith was defective.

But I would contend that while these rulers later may have come to saving faith, at this point John is describing men who were not yet saved. We saw this “non-saving belief” back in John 2:23-25, where many believed in Jesus but He didn’t entrust Himself to them. Those verses set the stage for Jesus’ interview with Nicodemus. We saw the same thing in John 8:31-59, where John says that the Jews believed in Jesus, but they clearly do not believe in a saving way. John’s comment here about these men loving the approval of men, not of God, goes back to John 5:44, where Jesus asked His opponents, “How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?” (The word translated “approval” in John 12:43 is literally, “glory,” which stands in contrast to John 12:23, 28, & 41.)

Added to this are Jesus’ words in Mark 8:38, “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” These Pharisees would not confess Jesus because of their fear of being put out of the synagogue and their love of man’s glory over God’s glory. Unless they later became willing to confess Christ whatever the cost, I contend that their faith was not saving faith.

Why does John include verses 42 & 43? Perhaps to warn those who say they believe, but are afraid to confess Christ, that they will face Jesus in judgment someday (John 12:48). He wants us to see that true faith sees Jesus’ glory and confesses Him, no matter what the cost. True Christians are not ashamed to confess Christ before this adulterous and sinful generation. Man’s approval may last a few years; God’s approval lasts forever.

Conclusion

Here are four summary applications:

(1) Are you obeying the light that God has given you or could you be suppressing the truth because you love your sins? This is a danger both for those who haven’t trusted in Christ, but also for those of us who have. It’s easy to dodge the truths in Scripture that confront your sins, but doing so will stall your growth.

(2) Are you trusting the Lord even when He does things that don’t fit your expectations? Evil men may wrong you, but God’s sovereign purpose will prevail.

(3) When you share Christ, pray that God will open blind eyes. Apart from His grace, the human heart is blind and hardened. Salvation is from the Lord.

(4) If you have not believed in Jesus to save you from your sins, you can’t blame God. Cry out to Him to open your eyes to the glory of Jesus crucified for sinners. Beg God to give you saving faith.

Application Questions

1. Some emphasize God’s sovereignty to the neglect of human responsibility. Others do the reverse. Why must we hold both in tension? Cite some Scriptures that reflect this tension.
2. Some argue that God never violates man’s “free will.” Agree or disagree? Cite Scripture to support your answer.
3. Is there a difference between making a decision to trust in Christ and true conversion? If so, what’s the difference?
4. Should we give up on someone who has rejected the gospel, assuming that God has judicially blinded him, or should we keep appealing to him to repent and believe? Biblical support?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2014, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation