When Jimmy Carter was President, on several occasions he spent the night in the homes of common Americans, picked at random. Suppose that the President and his wife decided to come to your home. The big evening arrives. Crowds line the streets as the presidential limousine pulls up in front of your house, escorted by police motorcycles, squad cars, and Secret Service agents. The President and his wife emerge from the limousine, wave to the crowds and news photographers, and walk to your front door.

You open the door wearing dirty jeans and a torn T-shirt and say, “Oh, hi! I’ve been working out in the garden.” As the President steps into the cluttered living room, you say, “Sorry about the mess, but my wife got engrossed in the soap operas on TV this afternoon and didn’t get around to cleaning. But dinner’s almost ready. She’s heating up the leftovers in the microwave right now. Hope you don’t mind paper plates.”

That’s absurd, isn’t it? Even if you were poor, if you knew that the President was coming to your house, you would look your best. You would clean your house and maybe even put on some fresh paint. You’d put your best dishes on the table and fix your favorite meal. The President deserves more than leftovers.

So does the Lord. He is “a great King” and His “name is feared among the nations” (1:14). Surely nobody would dare to serve God leftovers, would they?

“Yes,” says Malachi, “they would.” The priests of his day were doing just that. The people would bring an unblemished lamb to offer as a sacrifice at the temple. The priests would reason, “It doesn’t make sense to slaughter this perfectly good lamb. After all, it’s just going to be burned on the altar. Let’s sell it for a decent price and substitute a slightly blemished lamb that’s cheaper. Good stewardship demands it.”

Or when the people would bring a less than perfect animal to the temple, the priests would say, “Don’t worry about it. It was sick, so you couldn’t risk eating it. It’s just going up in smoke anyway. Sacrificing it helps you get rid of an animal that you didn’t need and it helps us keep the fires burning on the altar. Everyone wins!” Everyone except God, that is!

Through Malachi, the Lord confronts the priests: “You are despising My name!” But the priests didn’t get it. So the Lord explains, “In that you say, ‘The table of the Lord is to be despised’” (1:7). (The table refers to the altar of sacrifice [Ezek. 41:22].) The priests were not so brazen as to say those specific words. What they had said was something like I said a moment ago. They knew that the Law of Moses had some “obscure” verses (Lev. 22:20-25; Deut. 15:21) about not offering blemished sacrifices to the Lord.

But they were practical men: “Surely it makes better sense to burn the damaged animals and save the good ones, doesn’t it? We’re not rich people. The Lord understands our situation, doesn’t He? Better to offer blemished animals than none at all, isn’t it?” They were trying to make worship more convenient and affordable for the worshipers. But God said, “You are dishonoring Me!”

We live in a day of convenience Christianity. The church is being marketed like a restaurant or store in an attempt to attract more customers. Pastors flock to seminars that share methods on how to attract unchurched people. “Don’t preach against sin, because that threatens people. They want to feel good about themselves. They don’t bring Bibles to church, so don’t get into in-depth Bible study. Give them something positive and uplifting. And, they’re used to watching TV. So use a lot of drama and visuals. Keep the sermon short—15 to 20 minutes maximum. Make it entertaining.” Pastors who use these techniques testify how their church rapidly grew into thousands of attenders.

Through Malachi, the Lord of hosts has something to say to the modern church: “Oh that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might not uselessly meet in My name. I am not pleased with you” (paraphrase of 1:10). It would be better to close the doors of the church than to dishonor God when we meet!

At the center of Jewish worship was the offering of sacrifices. The reason people needed to offer sacrifices was that they were sinners approaching a holy God, and He had ordained sacrifices as the way of approaching Him. To offer blemished sacrifices pulled down the holiness of God by saying, in effect, “God isn’t perfectly holy. We don’t need to offer a perfect substitute for our sins.” And, it lifted up sinners by saying, “We’re not all that bad. A slightly blemished sacrifice is good enough for us to come before God.”

The core message that the church should proclaim is the gospel. The gospel is about sinners who need a Savior in order to be reconciled to a holy God and escape His judgment. If we modify message to appeal to consumers we are, in effect, offering blemished sacrifices. The modern “gospel” often is pitched as a way to personal fulfillment and happiness: “Jesus will help you succeed in business, have a happy family, and even lose weight! Try Him, you’ll be a satisfied customer!” But what about sin and repentance? What about God’s holiness? What about faith in a Savior who is without sin, who offered Himself in the place of sinners?

God makes it plain that His purpose is to make His name great or revered among the nations (1:11 [twice], 14). As His people, our purpose should be to promote God’s glory among the nations by proclaiming Jesus as God’s perfect sacrifice for sinners. Malachi says,

To promote God’s glory among the nations, we must honor Him by giving Him the best of our lives.

1. God’s purpose is to glorify His name among the nations.

I could preach many sermons on this point alone, but I must be brief here. If we are not clear about what God is doing in this world, then we will not be on target with our lives. In a nutshell, God’s purpose is to promote His glory, and He wants to use His people to do that. To explore this theme, I commend to you the difficult, but rewarding, God’s Passion for His Glory [Crossway Books], by John Piper, which contains Jonathan Edwards’ essay, “The End for Which God Created the World.” In another book (A Hunger for God [Crossway Books], pp. 179-180), Piper summarizes the biblical argument like this:

God elects his people before the foundation of the world for his glory (Ephesians 1:6). He creates humankind for his glory (Isaiah 43:7). He chooses Israel for his glory (Isaiah 49:3). He delivers them from Egypt for his glory (Psalm 106:7-8). He restores them after exile for his glory (Isaiah 48:9-11). He sends his Son to confirm his trustworthiness and so the Gentiles will glorify him for his mercy (Romans 15:8-9). He puts his Son to death to display the glory of his vindicated righteousness (Romans 3:25-26). He commands his people to do all things for his glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). He will send his Son a second time to receive the glory due him (2 Thessalonians 1:9-10). And in the end he will fill the earth with the knowledge of his glory (Habakkuk 2:14).

So our aim as God’s people should be to glorify God by loving Him above all, by loving one another (the two Great Commandments), and by proclaiming the gospel among the nations (the Great Commission) so that all peoples will glorify His great name.

2. As God’s people, we are often blind as to how we dishonor Him.

This message applied to the whole nation, but it was especially aimed at the priests, the spiritual leaders. Those of us who lead the church especially need to ponder these things. When the Lord confronted them through Malachi, they didn’t get it: “How have we despised Your name?” (1:6). “How have we defiled You?” (1:7). They looked at all their activities: they were busy offering sacrifices and leading the people in worship. What was the problem?

The problem was that they were not doing what they did with a God-ward focus. They were not offering their sacrifices to please the Lord. They were not focused on magnifying His name. In fact, they were bored with the whole thing (1:13). Their attitude reflected their arrogance and lack of reverence for God. They were going through the motions of worship, but their hearts were not seeking to exalt and glorify God as He deserves.

It’s really easy to lead in worship or preach sermons or teach Sunday School or serve the Lord in any capacity with wrong motives. If our hidden motive is to have people think highly of us, our hearts are not right before God. When I preach, if I succumb to the temptation to dodge hard truth so as not to offend anyone, I dishonor God, who inspired His Word. My attitude in all ministry should always be, “Lord, this is an offering to please You and to magnify Your name!” Any other focus dishonors God, whether I am aware of it or not.

So, God’s purpose is to glorify His name among the nations. As His people, and especially as leaders, we are often blind to how we dishonor Him. Thus the crucial question becomes, “What does it mean to honor the Lord with our lives?”

3. Honoring the Lord means giving Him the best of our lives.

Our text reveals four aspects of this:

A. We should give God the best in terms of cost.

Salvation is a free gift. You cannot earn it or pay for it. You can only accept it freely. But it cost God the life of His beloved Son. Once you accept such a precious gift, it demands everything you have in response. When you recognize that you are not your own, you were bought with a price, and that all that you have has been freely given to you by God, how can you hold back anything from Him?

But these priests in Malachi’s day were giving God the left­overs. They had no use for a blind, lame, or sick animal, so they’d give it to God on the altar (1:8). But God tells them that He would rather that they close the doors of the temple than to have them offer these cheap sacrifices to Him (1:10)!

Giving God what you really don’t need anyway is not giving at all. I’m not suggesting that you should stop giving your extra junk to the church garage sale for missions! But I am saying that if you only give God stuff that you no longer need, you haven’t given at all. If you aren’t pinched because you gave, you didn’t really give. If you only serve when it’s convenient and you don’t have anything better to do, you aren’t really serving. The religious leaders in Jesus’ day threw a lot of money into the temple treasury. But along came a poor widow who put in two small copper coins. Jesus said that she put in more than all of the rest combined. Why? Because they gave out of their surplus, but she gave “all that she had to live on” (Luke 21:3-4).

Your gift reveals your estimate of the one to whom you offer it. Mary of Bethany knew this when she broke her expensive alabaster vial of ointment and poured it on the Lord’s feet. The indignant, practical-minded disciples murmured, “Why this waste? This perfume could have been sold for a lot of money that could have been given to the poor!” But the Lord commended Mary and rebuked the disciples (John 12:1-8). G. Campbell Morgan observes, “Sacrilege is centered in offering God something which costs nothing, because you think God is worth nothing” (Wherein Have We Robbed God? [Revell], p. 50). We only honor God when we give Him our best in terms of cost. With David, we should resolve, “I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing” (2 Sam. 24:24).

B. We should give God the best in terms of quality.

The Lord only wants unblemished lambs on His altar. If it’s a reject, it isn’t good enough for the Lord. As He sarcastically asks, “Would you give these blind, sick, and lame sheep to your governor? Would he be pleased with you?” If you wouldn’t give such cheap junk to your governor, do you think that you honor the Lord when you give it to Him?

Again, it’s better that your junk gets recycled for missions than to clutter up your garage! But there’s a misdirected mindset that we need to confront: “If something is worn out or useless to me, I’ll give it to the church or to missions.” So the Lord’s servants limp along with outdated computers and broken-down junk, while the Lord’s people fill their homes with the good stuff!

The classic story here (and I think it is true) is that of a missionary who received from some dear old saint a shipment of used clothing and other hand-me-downs. Included in the box was a jar full of used tea bags that the old lady had faithfully dried out and sent for the missionary’s use! Used tea bags! Why not send a case of new ones? If you hear about a missionary who needs a new computer, don’t give him your old, outdated one. Buy him a new one! We don’t need to be extravagant, but if it’s for the Lord, shouldn’t we give the best?

C. We should give God the best in terms of priorities.

God’s Word was not top priority for these priests or for the people. They had better ways to use unblemished lambs than to put them on God’s altar. God had said that they should honor Him above all else by their worship. This included obeying His commands for the sacrifices. But God’s priority was not their priority. Worshiping God by offering unblemished sacrifices just wasn’t all that important to them. By showing contempt for that which God valued, they were showing contempt for God Himself.

Our Lord’s command to seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matt. 6:33) does not apply only to pastors, missionaries, and other “full time” Christian workers. It applies to every follower of Jesus. I wrestle with this constantly, and so should you: Am I valuing with my life what God values? Do my priorities—the way I spend my time, money, and efforts—reflect the things that matter most to God? Am I seeking first God’s kingdom and righteousness in my personal life, my business, my family, and my spare time activities? Am I seeking to honor God above all else that crowds in for attention?

I’ll say from personal experience, the only way to keep your priorities in line is to be consistently in God’s Word. It confronts wrong attitudes and values. It gets you back on course when you start to drift. It confronts you when you are valuing things over God Himself. It reminds us that our aim should be to glorify Him.

D. We should give God the best in terms of personal integrity.

Here we’re talking about motive—why you do what you do. In 1:14, the Lord says, “But cursed be the swindler who has a male in his flock and vows it, but sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord, …” This guy wants to look good in public, so he makes a grandstand vow to give the best to the Lord. But when it comes time to give, he slips in an inferior animal and keeps the best for himself. He wasn’t really offering his sacrifice to the living God, who sees the motives of the heart. He was doing it to be seen by men.

Ananias and Sapphira fell into this trap in the early church. They wanted the church to think that they were giving the total amount from the sale of their land, but they kept back part of it for themselves. As Peter pointed out just before God struck them dead, they were not lying to men, but to God. If we serve the Lord or give to the Lord’s work out of the hidden motive of gaining recognition from men, we fail to honor God.

Andrew Fuller, an 18th century pastor and friend of William Carey, was once soliciting funds for foreign missions. A good friend said to him, “Very well, Andrew, seeing it is you, I’ll give $500.” Fuller responded, “No, I cannot take the money since you give it seeing me.” His friend saw the point and said, “You are right, Andrew. Here is $1,000, seeing it is for the Lord Jesus.”

So our aim should be to promote God’s glory among the nations. To do that, we must honor Him with the very best of our lives, not with the leftovers. But, as we’ve seen, it’s easy to deceive ourselves and think that we’re honoring God, when actually we’re despising Him.

Conclusion

With that in mind, so that we don’t fool ourselves, I devised a short test based on this passage. There are five questions:

1. Is your service for God less than you would offer a human dignitary?

If you heard that John MacArthur would be sitting in on your Sunday School class, would you prepare any differently? If Chuck Swindoll had been sitting next to you during worship, would you have sung more enthusiastically or dropped more into the offering plate? The point is, Jesus is watching all that you do. He listens to every sermon I preach. We must serve as unto Him.

2. Is God answering your prayers?

In 1:9, Malachi sarcastically tells the people to entreat God’s favor. Then he adds, “With such an offering on your part, will He receive any of you kindly?” The implied answer is, “No!” If we play games with God by giving Him the leftovers, how can we sincerely ask Him to bless our lives?

3. Are you playing church?

These priests were going through the motions, keeping the fires burning on the temple altar. But God says that it was useless (1:10). He would rather that they close the doors than to go on playing their religious games.

It’s easy to have all sorts of activities and programs in a local church, but to lose sight of the reason why we do these things. It is not to attract people. Who cares how many people attend your church if they are just giving God the leftovers of worldly lives? God looks on our hearts, not on activities or programs. He is looking for those who worship Him in spirit and in truth.

4. Are you bored with worship and/or Christian service?

These priests were tired of the routine (1:13). Offer another animal, go through the motions one more time, put in your shift at the temple to get your paycheck and go home. They were bored with worship because they had lost sight of the greatness and majesty of God, “the Lord of hosts” (used 7 times in these verses), which means that He commands all the armies of heaven and all of the galaxies in the universe!

If you’re bored with worship or with serving the Lord, you’ve lost sight of the glory and majesty of God. Rituals and routines can be pretty boring, but the living God is definitely not boring! Whenever in the Bible someone got a glimpse of God, I assure you, they were not glancing at their watch to find out how much longer the service would last! I realize that not every worship service will give you a glimpse of God! Not every quiet time will be glorious. But if you’re consistently bored with worship, you probably need a fresh glimpse of the greatness of God.

5. Is your passion in life to promote God’s glory among the nations?

You may be thinking, “Hey, I’m not a pastor or missionary! I’m just a layman.” But if God’s aim is that His name will be great among the nations, and you are His blood-bought servant, shouldn’t His aim be your aim? Shouldn’t pleasing Him be your daily desire (see 1:8, 9, 10)? Shouldn’t His kingdom and glory be your passion?

Comedian Rodney Dangerfield is famous for his line, “I don’t get no respect.” But he stole that line from the Lord! God says to His people, “If I am a father, where is My honor? If I am a master, where is My respect?” Don’t give God the leftovers. Give Him the best you’ve got! His name will be great among the nations. Make sure that He is great in your daily life!

Discussion Questions

1. How does a businessman or housewife apply the command to seek first God’s kingdom? What are the daily implications?
2. How can a believer know how much to give to the Lord’s work? Is 10% the New Testament standard? Why/why not?
3. Does giving God the best imply building ornate cathedrals? Why/why not? What does it imply in practical terms?
4. How can a bored Christian recapture a sense of God’s majesty?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2003, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

P. T. Barnum made a fortune based on his philosophy, “There is a sucker born every minute.” Con artists have always thrived on schemes to bilk unsuspecting people out of their money. Sometimes they have to invent new tricks and find new people, but they manage to do a thriving business.

Our enemy, Satan, has a con game that he has used for centuries. He never changes it, but it still works like a charm. He uses it to wreak havoc among God’s people and to thwart God’s work. The scheme is so simple that you would think that even the most naïve of God’s people would have caught on by now, but they haven’t. What is Satan’s ingenious con game? To get God’s people to marry unbelievers.

I have seen spiritually vibrant young people throw their lives away by marrying unbelievers. Usually, it seems to be Christian young women who marry unbelieving men, although occasionally the pattern is reversed. When you ask why they are doing this, you hear rationalizations, such as:

“I love him, and love is what matters the most.”

“He promises to go to church with me and the children.”

“If I break up with him, he won’t have anyone to lead him to Christ. Besides, I’m sure that he’s going to become a Christian.”

“I’ve prayed about it and feel a peace that this is God’s will.”

I want you to hear me loud and clear: It is never God’s will for a Christian to marry a non-Christian! Period!! No exceptions!! You should no more pray about marrying a non-Christian than you should pray about whether it is God’s will for you to commit adultery or murder your neighbor. God has made it abundantly plain that it is sin for His children to marry an unbeliever. It is never God’s will for you to sin!

Someone may be thinking, “But I know of cases where a believer married an unbeliever and everything has turned out fine. The unbeliever came to faith in Christ and today they have a fine Christian family.” Yes, God is often gracious in using even our sins for good when we repent. I’ve heard of people who tried to commit suicide, but God spared their lives and saved them. But that should not encourage us to sin that grace may abound!

For a believer to marry an unbeliever is to sin grievously against God and God’s people.

That is the message of Malachi 2:10-12. As we saw last week, the priests had failed to live and teach God’s truth, causing many to stumble. From the contemporaneous books of Ezra (9, 10) and Nehemiah (13:23-29) we learn that one of the ways the priests had set a bad example and thus had led the people astray was in this sin of marrying foreign women who did not follow the Lord. In fact, they were even divorcing their Jewish wives to marry these foreign women (Mal. 2:13-16). Through the prophet, the Lord warns His people against the sins of marrying unbelievers and divorce.

1. For a believer to marry an unbeliever is to sin grievously against God.

Our text unfolds four aspects of this sin:

A. Marrying an unbeliever is a grievous sin against the God who made us His people.

“Father” may refer to Abraham (Calvin), but probably it refers to God, who is the Father of the Jewish nation as His chosen people (1:6). He created and formed the nation (Isa. 43:1), not only in the sense that He created all people, but also in the sense that Israel was to be a special people for His possession. He entered into a covenant with the fathers of the nation, singling them out from all others on earth. As their all-wise heavenly Father, God has the right to tell His people whom they can and cannot marry.

If you know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, you are not your own. You have been bought with the blood of Christ. You are only free to marry as the Lord directs in His Word. As I’ll show in a moment, He does not leave room for doubt. His will is always that you marry a believer, not an unbeliever.

B. Marrying an unbeliever is a grievous sin against the God who wants His people to be holy (separate) unto Him.

God is holy, meaning that He is totally separate from sin. He calls His people to be holy also (Lev. 19:2; 1 Pet. 1:16; plus many others). Here the Lord charges Judah with profaning the covenant (2:10) and the sanctuary (2:11), literally, “the holy thing.” This probably refers to the people themselves. God had said that He would dwell among them and they would be His people (Lev. 26:11-12). By marrying those who worshiped foreign gods, the Jews had defiled themselves as God’s dwelling place.

You may think that marrying an unbeliever is unwise, or perhaps a minor sin. But God calls it an abomination (2:11). That Hebrew word is used elsewhere to refer to idolatry, witchcraft, sacrificing children to idols, and to homosexuality (Deut. 13:14; 18:9-12; Lev. 18:22). It is not a gray area!

To underscore how grievous this sin is to the Lord, I want to take you on a quick tour through the biblical witness against it. The principle runs throughout the Bible: God wants His people to be separate from unbelievers in life’s important relationships. Throughout history Satan has used marriage to unbelievers to turn the Lord’s people from devotion to Him.

In Genesis 6, however you interpret “sons of God,” the point is the same. Satan used wrongful marriage to corrupt the human race, leading to the judgment of the flood. In Genesis 24:1-4, Abraham made his servant swear by the Lord that he would not take a wife for Isaac from the Canaanites. Two generations later, the godless Esau married two unbelieving wives. It is emphasized repeatedly (Gen. 26:34-35; 27:46; 28:8) that these women brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah. Later (Gen. 34) Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, got involved with a Canaanite man. His people invited Jacob’s sons to intermarry with them and live among them (Gen. 34:9). Later, Jacob’s son, Judah, married a Canaanite woman and began to live like a Canaanite (Gen. 38).

If Israel had continued to intermarry with the Canaanites, it would have sabotaged God’s plan to make a great nation out of Abraham’s descendants and to bless all nations through them. So God sovereignly had Joseph sold into slavery in Egypt, resulting in the whole family of Jacob moving there, where they eventually became slaves for 400 years. This drastic treatment solidified the people as a separate nation and prevented them from intermarriage with the heathen.

Later, through Moses, God warned the people not to intermarry with the people of the land (Exod. 34:12-16; Deut. 7:1-5). One of the most formidable enemies that Moses had to face was Balaam, who counseled Balak, king of Moab, against Israel. God prevented Balaam from cursing Israel. But Balaam counseled Balak with an insidious plan: Corrupt the people whom you cannot curse. Get them to marry your Moabite women. The plan inflicted much damage, until Phinehas took bold action to stop the plague on Israel (Num. 25:1-9).

Throughout Israel’s history, marriage to heathen women created problems. Samson’s ministry was nullified through his involvement with Philistine women (Judges 16:4-22). Solomon’s idolatrous foreign wives turned his heart away from the Lord (1 Kings 11:1-8). The wicked Jezebel, a foreign idolater, established Baal worship during the reign of her weak Jewish husband, Ahab (1 Kings 16:29-22:40).

Jehoshaphat, who was otherwise a godly king, nearly ruined the nation by joining his son in marriage to Athaliah, daughter of Ahab and Jezebel (1 Chron. 18:1). The terrible effects of this sin did not come to the surface during Jehoshaphat’s lifetime. His son, Jehoram, who married Athaliah, slaughtered all of his brothers and turned the nation to idolatry. God struck him with disease and he died after eight years in office. His son Ahaziah became king and lasted one year before being murdered.

Then the wicked Athaliah made her move. She slaughtered all her own grandsons (except one, who was hidden) and ruled in wickedness for six years. The Davidic line, from which Christ would be born, came within a hair’s breadth, humanly speaking, of being annihilated because of Jehoshaphat’s sin of marrying his son to an unbelieving woman (1 Chron. 17:1-23:15)!

After the captivity, when Ezra heard that some of the returned remnant had married women of the land, he tore his garment, pulled some of the hair from his head and beard, and sat down appalled. This was followed by a time of national mourning and repentance (Ezra 9 & 10). Just a few years later, Nehemiah discovered that some Jews had married Canaanite women. He contended with them, pronounced a curse on them, struck some of them, and pulled out their hair, calling their actions “a great evil” (Neh. 13:23-29)!  One of the priests had married the daughter of Sanballat, one of Nehemiah’s chief enemies in the project of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. Malachi’s ministry fits into Nehemiah’s time or shortly after.

The New Testament is equally clear: “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God” (2 Cor. 6:14-16a).

When Paul gave instructions for those in Corinth who were married to unbelievers (1 Cor. 7:12-16), he was not endorsing entering such a marriage. Rather, he was giving counsel to those who had become believers after marriage, but whose spouses had not. In 1 Corinthians 7:39 the apostle gives a clear word concerning entering a new marriage: “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (emphasis mine).

My point is, there is a principle that runs throughout the Bible: God wants His people to be set apart unto Him. This especially applies to the major life decision of whom you marry. It never is His will for His people to join in marriage to unbelievers.

Thus for a believer to marry an unbeliever is to sin grievously against the God who made His people, who calls them to be holy.

C. Marrying an unbeliever is a grievous sin against the God who loves His people.

“Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord which He loves” (2:11). Remember the theme of Malachi, “I have loved you,” says the Lord (1:2). It is because of His love that God sets forth such strong standards of holiness for His people. Sin always causes damage. Holiness brings great joy.

We often forget that God’s motive behind all of His actions toward us is, He loves us! We’re like rebellious children, who don’t want to eat nutritious food or brush our teeth. So we run away from home, where we can eat all the junk food we want and never brush our teeth. After the first few days of this “freedom,” we defiantly say, “See, I’m still healthy, my teeth haven’t rotted and fallen out like my mother said, and I’m having a great time! My mother was wrong!” Just wait!

Satan always tempts you with the promise of immediate gratification and the lie that God really doesn’t love you or He wouldn’t keep you from all this pleasure. Here’s how this works: You know that God doesn’t want you to marry an unbeliever, but then the most adorable hunk asks you out. You hesitate, but then rationalize, “What can one date hurt?” Besides, your phone hasn’t been ringing with Christian guys asking you out. So you say yes, you’ll go out to dinner. You plan to witness to him, but the opportunity just doesn’t come up.

You’re pleasantly surprised that he isn’t a rude, crude pagan, as you’d been led to think all unbelievers would be. He’s a decent, caring, sensible young man. So you go out again and again. Then, there’s a polite goodnight kiss at the door. Your feelings for him are growing stronger. The kisses become more passionate, and they feel good. You feel loved and special. Soon, your physical involvement has gone too far and your conscience bothers you. But you brush it aside, thinking, “He’s going to become a Christian and we’ll get married. It will all work out.”

At the start of this subtle drift away from God was your rejection of God’s love, as expressed in His commandment for your holiness. As a Christian, you need to make an up-front surrender of your life to God, trusting that He loves you and knows what is best for you. That includes His commandment for you not to marry an unbeliever. If you don’t want to go to the altar with an unbeliever, don’t accept that first date. As Garrison Keillor has the pastor in Lake Wobegon say to young couples, “If you don’t want to go to Minneapolis, don’t get on the train!”

D. Marrying an unbeliever is a grievous sin against the God who disciplines His people.

God’s love is not incompatible with His discipline. In fact, it stems from it: “Whom the Lord loves, He disciplines” (Heb. 12:6). If I love my child, when he does wrong I will correct him strongly enough to deter him from taking that course of action again.

In verse 12, there is a difficult phrase, translated, “everyone who awakes and answers” (NASB), “being awake and aware” (New KJV), or “whoever he is” (NIV). It is probably a Hebrew idiom meaning “everyone.” So the verse means, “Whoever sins by marrying an unbeliever, whether he does it defiantly or ignorantly, may he and his posterity be cut off from the covenant people of God.” God often lets us experience the natural consequences of our sins. The man who marries outside the faith is, in effect, thumbing his nose at God and God’s covenant people. So, God declares that he and his descendants will be cut off from God’s covenant people.

It’s the principle of sowing and reaping. If you sow corn, you don’t reap peaches. If you marry an unbeliever, generally, you won’t have children who are committed to the Lord. They will see your half-hearted commitment, seen in your disobedience in marrying an unbeliever. They will also see the pleasure-oriented, materialistic lifestyle of the unbelieving parent. They will conclude, “Why commit myself fully to the Lord?”

Thank God, there are exceptions, especially when the believing parent repents. But no one should disobey God and hope for their case to be the exception! If the believing partner thinks that he (or she) can disobey God and then “bring his offering” to take care of things, Malachi says, “Think twice!” Such offerings will be of no value. God looks for obedience, not sacrifice. Your children will suffer for your disobedience.

This leads to the other part of Malachi’s message. For a believer to marry an unbeliever is not only to sin against God. Also,

2. For a believer to marry an unbeliever is to sin grievously against God’s people.

We never sin in private. Our actions are interwoven with the fabric of society. If we defile our part of the fabric, the whole fabric is affected. Malachi states that God’s people are one (2:10). To sin against God by marrying an unbeliever is to sin against our brothers and sisters in God’s family. It’s as if we’re all in the same boat and you think that you have a right to bore a hole in your part of the boat. “What’s it matter to you how I live in my part of the boat?” you ask. It matters a great deal, of course! There are three ways that you hurt other believers if you marry an unbeliever:

A. If you marry an unbeliever, you cheapen God’s covenant in the eyes of His people.

Malachi asks, “Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers?” (2:10). The Hebrew word “treachery” is related to their word for “garment” or covering. The idea is that treachery involves deceit or cover-up. To marry foreign women covered up Israel’s covenant relationship with God. When one Jew saw his neighbor act as if there were no such relationship, he would be tempted to act in a similar manner.

That’s why I maintain that for a believer to marry an unbeliever should be a church discipline matter. If a believer marries an unbeliever and there are no consequences of being put out of the fellowship, then lonely believers in the church will think, “She seems to be happy, but I’m still lonely. No Christian guys are available. Maybe I’ll date some non-Christians like she did.” “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” (1 Cor. 5:6).

B. If you marry an unbeliever, you link the people of God by covenant to idolaters.

“Judah … has married the daughter of a foreign god” (2:11). The Jews had a saying, “He that marries a heathen woman is as if he made himself son-in-law to an idol” (cited by E. B. Pusey, The Minor Prophets [Baker], p. 482, in Barnes’ Notes). You may be thinking, “I would never marry a pagan idolater. Even though he isn’t especially religious, my fiancé is a decent man. He doesn’t set up statutes and bow down before them!”

But if he doesn’t follow the Lord Jesus Christ, then he follows other gods. It may be the god of self or money or status. But he is not following the living and true God. By joining yourself to him in marriage, you link God’s people by marriage covenant to an idolater, no matter how nice a guy he may be.

C. If you marry an unbeliever, you cheapen the meaning of commitment to the living God.

This is the implication of verse 12. These people thought that they could disobey God on this most important matter and then cover it up with a few sacrifices and go merrily on their way. But Proverbs 15:8 says, “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord.” You cannot rebel against God in an area as important as this and then go on about life among God’s people as if nothing happened, expecting God to ignore it.

What does commitment to God mean if it does not affect life’s most significant human relationship? Apart from your relationship to Jesus Christ, nothing else matters as much as your choice of a marriage partner. If you go to church and sing, “Oh, how I love Jesus,” but go out the door and marry an unbeliever, it tells others that commitment to Christ doesn’t make a bit of difference as to how you live. You’ve greatly damaged your witness for Christ to your family and friends.

Conclusion

If you, as a Christian, have already married an unbeliever, then you need to sincerely repent before the Lord, grieving over the fact that you sinned against Him and His people. The true sacrifice to God is a broken and contrite heart (Ps. 51:17). Then you should follow the guidelines of 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Paul instructs believers in mixed marriages not to initiate divorce. There is the possibility that your mate and children will come to faith in Christ through your presence. You must seek to demonstrate Christ in the home by your life, not by your sermons (see 1 Pet. 3:1-6)! You will probably reap some of the seed that you’ve sown by marrying outside of the will of God. When those seeds sprout, you need to submit to the Lord’s discipline, being careful to acknowledge that His ways are right.

If you are currently involved in a romantic relationship with an unbeliever, break it off immediately, before you get entangled further! You have stepped into spiritual quicksand. Don’t linger and think about how good the warm mud feels between your toes! Marriage is difficult enough when both partners are committed to Christ and God’s Word. You are only heading for a life of pain if you marry an unbeliever who is living for self. You may say, “But if I break it off, how will he hear about Christ?” Line up a Christian to share the gospel with him, but break off your relationship!

If you know a Christian who is dating an unbeliever, share this message with her or him. If you care about this person, about the Lord, and about His people, you can’t remain silent! Parents, impress on your children the importance of marrying only a person who loves and follows Jesus Christ. Pray for your children’s future mates, that they would be godly young people. Don’t fall for Satan’s age-old con game. Too much is at stake!

Discussion Questions

1. Why would most Christians classify adultery as a “bad” sin, but shrug their shoulders at marrying an unbeliever?
2. Should Christian parents participate in the wedding ceremony if their Christian child marries an unbeliever? Why/why not?
3. Should believers attend the wedding of another believer who is marrying an unbeliever? How does 1 Cor. 5:9-13 apply?
4. Should a Christian wife with an unbelieving husband obey his wishes that she not attend church? Why/why not?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2003, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

As a woman was getting her hair fixed, she listened to the conversation between her beautician and the 19-year-old beautician in the next booth. The younger woman was trying to decide if she should marry her boyfriend, who was contemplating getting a tattoo with her name. The older beautician cautioned her by saying, “Marriage is one thing, but a tattoo is permanent!” (Reader’s Digest [4/99], p. 129.)

There’s the modern mindset for you—we see tattoos as more permanent than marriage! As I said last week, our culture has gone through a major shift over the past 30 years, where divorce is now fairly commonplace, even in Christian circles. If we want our marriages to last for life and be glorifying to Him, as God’s Word commands, then we need to develop God’s perspective on marriage, that He hates divorce and that marriage is a lifelong covenant before Him. We explored those matters last week. This week I want to focus on another principle from our text:

To avoid divorce, cultivate your relationship with your wife.

As I observed last week, our text is addressed to the men, and so I am addressing the men. The Bible does not allow men to be passive in the realm of marriage and family. Chuck Swindoll once was talking with a Christian counselor friend. Chuck asked him, “What is the number one problem you face in counseling?” Without hesitating, the counselor shot back, “Passive males.”

I don’t know if it’s because men feel intimidated in the area of relationships or what. Many men just want peace in their homes, and they think that by yielding to whatever their wives want, they will gain peace. So they avoid dealing with problems. They fall into what Douglas Wilson calls “the nice guy syndrome” (Reforming Marriage [Canon Press], pp. 77-85). They let the home run on auto-pilot, assuming that their wives have it all under control. But they abdicate loving leadership in their marriages and with their children. Their wives grow increasingly frustrated and angry. But the husbands don’t get it. They think, “I work long hours to bring home a good paycheck. I go along with whatever she wants. Why is she upset with me? Why can’t I just have some peace and quiet when I come home from a long day’s work?”

If you leave today with only one thought, men, it should be: your marriage requires deliberate cultivation. As someone has said, “Even if marriages are made in heaven, man has to be responsible for the maintenance” (John Graham, Reader’s Digest [11/79], p. 157).

You don’t walk by a house with a beautiful flower garden and a lush, manicured lawn, and think, “They’re sure lucky to have that kind of yard. I wish my yard would automatically look like that!” A beautiful yard requires deliberate cultivation and effort, not just when you put it in, but also over the long haul. Weeds and bugs take over if you let them. I’ve been battling a fungus in our yard for years, and if I let it go, it spreads. It takes constant work and attention. Your marriage is the same way: it requires constant cultivation and attention. As the spiritual leader in your home, God holds you accountable for cultivating your marriage relationship. Part of the responsibility of leaders is to deal with problems, not to be passive.

Remember, your aim in obeying God in this matter is not so that you will have a happy, peaceful marriage, although God usually gives that blessing when we obey Him. Your aim should be to please and glorify God (1 Cor. 10:31). Our text reveals four ways that a husband needs to cultivate his relationship with his wife:

1. Constantly cultivate commitment to your marriage covenant.

I emphasized this last week, but it bears repeating because the world is constantly chipping away at this biblical idea of covenant commitment in marriage. One way the enemy worms his way into Christian marriages is when a husband allows rivalry to develop in the marriage. Many Christian marriages are a battleground for the war between the sexes. She has a bad attitude toward men and he rolls his eyes and thinks, “Women! Who can understand them?” Their marriage becomes a football field with husband and wife on opposite sides, and the scoreboard tells you who is winning.

Early on in a marriage the husband needs to emphasize to his wife, “We’re on the same team. I am for you and you are for me. God has put us together to complement one another and build one another in Christ. Let’s solve our problems from this perspective.” Especially when a couple has a misunderstanding or disagreement, it is important verbally to reaffirm mutual covenant commitment. The husband, as the head of the wife, should give her the security of saying, “I love you and my aim is to present you holy and blameless before Christ (Eph. 5:25-27). Now, let’s talk about what is wrong.”

1. Constantly cultivate companionship with your wife.

“She is your companion” (2:14). The Hebrew root word has the idea of being knit or joined together, thus pointing to a close relationship (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, R. Laird Harris, Gleason Archer, & Bruce Waltke [Moody Press], 1:260). As I said last week, when Adam was in the Garden of Eden, in perfect fellowship with God, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18), and He created Eve for Adam. Men, your wife should be your best friend on earth.

Friends spend time together. They talk about everything from the superficial to the significant. They share their deepest feelings and hopes and fears. Friends listen to one another and draw out their thoughts (Prov. 20:5). Friends just like being together, even if they aren’t talking. Friends accept one another, while at the same time they have a commitment to help each other grow in Christ.

Friends enjoy doing things together and find separation painful, not pleasant. Although I have to do it occasionally, I dislike going to a conference or on a trip without Marla. I do not enjoy having fun without Marla as much as if she is with me. Someone said, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years” (Simone Signoret, Reader’s Digest [12/87], p. 45). I would argue that it is both chains and threads: the chain of covenant commitment, and the threads of doing things together.

Years ago, when our children were toddlers, I was meeting weekly with some young men that I was seeking to disciple. One day one of these men excitedly told me about a fishing trip to Mexico that he had planned and asked if I would like to go. As he described things, I couldn’t quite picture how the accommodations would be adequate for Marla and the kids. So I asked, “Where will our wives and children stay?” He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “This is just for the guys!” I looked back at him like he was crazy and said, “I would not enjoy myself if Marla and the kids couldn’t come!”

I’m not condemning guys who like to go do things just with the guys. There is freedom in Christ to do that. But for me, Marla is my best friend, and I prefer having her along. And when the kids were still at home, we both liked having them with us. Even when we used to get away for a couple of days without the kids, we would get to the motel, look at each other, and both of us would say, “I miss the kids!” We just like being together.

I cannot give you chapter and verse on this, in that the biblical culture is far removed from our modern culture, but for our family, our annual vacations have been the highlight of our years together. We’ve never spent a lot of money on our vacations, which is why we took up camping. It’s relatively cheap and we avoided the high cost of restaurants by cooking our meals on our camp stove. But the memories that we have of enjoying God’s beautiful creation together bind us together. I am amazed when I learn that some Christian families seldom, if ever, take vacations together!

But it doesn’t have to wait for a vacation. Marla and I often take a hike together. We also like to take a picnic dinner and go to a beautiful spot to watch the sunset. The idea is to spend time together. However you do it, cultivate companionship with your wife!

2. Constantly cultivate romance with the wife of your youth.

I think that Malachi chooses the phrase, “the wife of your youth” (2:15) to appeal to the hearts of these insensitive husbands, who were trading in their older wives for younger models. They were familiar with the Scriptures, and immediately would have thought about Proverbs 5:18-19. Solomon is exhorting his son to avoid adultery and to be faithful to his wife: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love.” If that kind of graphic language embarrasses you, may I say, you need to become more biblical in your thinking, because God saw fit to put such language in His Word!

Romantic love and sexual attraction in marriage change and deepen over time. That is inevitable as our bodies age and as we go through life’s joys and trials together. The initial phase of romantic love is pretty much spontaneous, which is why we call it falling in love. You don’t have to do much to fall, except to slip and let gravity take over.

But romantic love over the long haul in marriage is not spontaneous. It requires deliberate attention and cultivation. By saying, “the wife of your youth,” Malachi encourages you to think back to the early days when you fell in love with your wife. Think about the many years and memories that you have built together. Appreciate the qualities that attracted you to your wife. Figure out ways to express your love and appreciation to her. That includes telling her, verbally, that you love her.

I heard about a wife who complained to a marriage counselor that her husband never told her that he loved her. He snapped, “I told her that 25 years ago, and I haven’t changed my mind!” Sorry, but that doesn’t cut it, guys! When you were courting your wife, you put some effort and creativity into letting her know that she was special to you. Do the same thing now!

Solomon commands the husband to rejoice in the wife of his youth (Prov. 5:18). Rejoicing is an emotional response. You may ask, “How can God command an emotion? We can’t conjure up emotions, can we?” But the fact is, God commands all sorts of emotions! “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” (Phil. 4:4). True joy is an emotion. “Hate evil, you who love the Lord” (Ps. 97:10). Hatred is a strong emotion. “Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise” (Ps. 100:4). True thankfulness and praise are matters of the heart, not just mouthing words. So God commands us to have certain emotions, which means that we can cultivate them if we lack them.

Some men may be thinking, “How do you rejoice in the wife of your youth when all you feel now is anger and bitterness when you think about her?” Again, the Bible commands us to control our thoughts (Phil. 4:8). Some thoughts are evil and need to be put off, whereas other thoughts are righteous and need to be put on  (Eph. 4:31-5:2). If your wife is behaving in ungodly ways toward you, you can respond in an ungodly or in a godly manner. Passively retreating from her anger to buy peace, while harboring bitterness in your heart, is not a godly response. Scripture specifically forbids returning evil deed for evil deed or insult for insult (1 Pet. 3:9).

You can determine to deal with her wrong behavior in a biblical manner. When you begin acting in godly ways, controlling your thoughts and seeking to build your wife in Christ, your emotions will eventually follow your thoughts and actions. When you pray faithfully for your wife and deliberately cultivate commitment, companionship, and romance in your marriage, you will begin gradually, but surely, to feel joy towards the wife of your youth.

There is a fourth area that we must cultivate in our marriages:

3. Constantly cultivate tender responsibility toward the one “under your garment.”

As I explained last week, “cover your garment with wrong [or, violence]” (2:16) refers to the Hebrew custom of a man showing his intention to marry a woman by draping his outer garment around her shoulders. It pictured the protective care and provision that he was promising her as his wife. To divorce your wife is to yank off that protective covering and leave her exposed and vulnerable to evil forces that would seek to harm her. In New Testament terms, the husband is the head of the wife, and part of that role requires him tenderly to nourish, cherish, and protect her as he does his own body (Eph. 5:28-29).

As Douglas Wilson points out in Reforming Marriage (pp. 23-26), the Bible does not command husbands to be the head of their wives, or say that they ought to be the head. Rather, it states it as an inescapable fact. Husbands may be faithful, diligent, effective leaders in their marriages, or they may be passive, inattentive, and ineffective leaders. But the Bible states that the very nature of the marriage relationship involves the headship of the husband.

Both the fall of the human race into sin and the modern feminist movement have brought mass confusion and imbalance into Christian marriages about this matter of the headship of husbands. I have seen some men who think that the model for being the head is that of a drill sergeant in boot camp. He uses his authority to bark orders and he expects the wife and kids to obey.

I once asked a man whose marriage was in trouble what his understanding of headship was. He replied, “If I tell my wife and kids to paint the house black, they grab a brush and paint it black!” It is not surprising that his marriage subsequently broke up! He knew nothing about tenderly nurturing and protecting his wife. His idea of headship was that it is a privilege for him to use for his own purposes. The biblical idea is that headship is a responsibility before God to be exercised for the edification of those under that protective covering. The Bible forbids lording it over those under your leadership (1 Pet. 5:1-2).

On the other hand, many Christian husbands have abdicated leadership in their homes, often (in their minds) to buy some peace. He wouldn’t dare attempt to lead his wife, because he tried that once and met with stiff resistance. He wouldn’t think of confronting his wife’s sin, because she would really make things difficult at home if he did that! So he contents himself with the thought that he brings home the paycheck and he lets her dominate their relationship and have free reign in running the household. All he asks is for a little peace and quiet after a hard day’s work. If his wife asks for his opinion, he says, “Whatever you want, dear.” He can’t understand why she is so frustrated with him, since he’s such a nice guy! The reason she’s frustrated is that he is not fulfilling his God-given role to lead her and the family in the ways of God.

Both Douglas Wilson’s Reforming Marriage and Stuart Scott’s The Exemplary Husband [Focus Publishing] have excellent sections on biblical leadership in the home. Wilson gives some specific steps on how to turn from passivity to godly leadership in your marriage (pp. 77-85) Scott has two chapters on leadership (pp. 117-142) and another helpful chapter on helping your wife deal with her sin (pp. 205-226). There is a wealth of far more material in these sources than I can develop here. I wish that every Christian husband would read these chapters often and prayerfully, and humbly before God take responsibility for godly leadership in their homes. I have seen marriages break up and others degenerate into unhappy battlegrounds because husbands were not diligent in this important biblical responsibility.

Scott develops the idea of the exemplary husband as a shepherd-leader (pp. 120-129). He points out that we are not kings, but lowly under-shepherds, doing the bidding of the Chief Shepherd. Any authority that we exercise must be to accomplish God’s purpose and to care for and build up our wives. He develops eleven qualities of a shepherd, which I only have time to list here, with a brief comment. Each husband should think about how to apply these in his own marriage.

1. A shepherd knows where he is going. Our direction as husbands comes from God’s Word, which means that we must saturate ourselves with that Word. If you are not consistently in God’s Word, you cannot lead your family spiritually.
2. A shepherd knows how to lead lovingly. A true shepherd denies himself in order to love and care for his sheep.
3. A shepherd leads by example. How we live speaks more loudly than our words. Hypocrisy undermines godly leadership.
4. A shepherd knows how to oversee. He does not lord it over his wife or control her, but gives freedom in Christ.
5. A shepherd is involved. He views the home as his God-given responsibility, for which he will give an account.
6. A shepherd is diligent in his responsibility. He doesn’t make excuses about being too tired, too busy, or not being gifted in this area. He seeks to grow in his ability to lead.
7. A shepherd protects. He is on the lookout for danger, especially spiritual danger, and is ready to intervene.
8. A shepherd provides. He cares for his wife’s every need and makes the well-being of his flock his concern.
9. A shepherd instructs. A godly husband helps his wife understand and grow in the knowledge of God through His Word.
10. A shepherd corrects. He does not sit there with a helpless or apathetic shrug of his shoulders when the sheep to go astray or get into danger. He deals with his own sin first. If he must correct his wife, he does it for her good, that she might become holy, not because she is irritating him.
11. A shepherd seeks to restore his sheep. His aim is not to win or to put her in her place, but to help her where she is hurting, so that she can walk in a manner pleasing to the Lord.

Conclusion

Josephine Lowman wrote (Reader’s Digest [date unknown]):

Building a good marriage and building a good log fire are similar in many ways. You build a fire with paper and kindling, and all at once it goes up in a brilliantly burning blaze. Then the primary blaze burns down and you wonder if the fire will fizzle out and leave you in the dark. You blow on it and fan it for all you are worth. Sometimes smoke billows out and almost chokes you, but if the materials are good and if you invest enough energy and interest in maintaining it, soon the big solid logs catch, and your fire takes on new qualities.

Husbands, our responsibility before God is to keep the fire burning in our marriages. Untended fires soon die down to a heap of coals and then ashes. You have to feed them continually to keep them burning.

Or, to use the gardening metaphor, you have to cultivate constantly or the weeds and bugs take over. Are you constantly cultivating commitment to your marriage covenant; companionship with your wife; romance with the wife of your youth; and, tender responsibility toward the one “under your garment” of protection? If you have not been diligent, God allows U-turns. Pick up one of the books I mentioned and begin this week to cultivate your relationship with your wife!

Discussion Questions

1. How can a husband who is not as spiritually mature as his wife lead her in the things of God? How can she help, not hinder, him?
2. Must the husband always be the leader? What if the wife is the more dominant, leader-type personality?
3. What if a husband and wife do not enjoy the same activities? How can they develop companionship and romance?
4. How can a previously passive husband take on leadership of his family, especially if his wife is resistant to the idea?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2003, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

[A gavel bangs several times.]

BAILIFF: Order in the court! Court is now in session! The case today is: “Malachi versus the People of God.”

The charges: The plaintiff maintains that the defendant is guilty of robbing God.

JUDGE: As presiding judge, I must tell those of you on the jury that these are weighty charges. If guilty, the defendant faces serious consequences that will affect both him and his descendants for many years. So please hear the case carefully. We want no miscarriage of justice. The prosecuting attorney may call his witnesses.

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Thank you, Your Honor. My first witness is this gentleman from a remote region in Central Asia. He does not speak English, and so the following has been translated. Sir, you claim that these people have robbed you. Can you explain?

ASIAN MAN: Yes. My people have no Bible in our language and no missionaries in our area. For centuries, we have lived and died without hearing the good news about Jesus Christ, the Savior. But these people have had the Bible and the gospel in their culture for centuries. They have plenty of money, not only for basic needs, but also for many frivolous toys and luxuries. Yet they have not given sacrificially so that my people might hear about the Savior. We have been robbed!

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Thank you, sir. My next witness, Your Honor, is this orphan from Africa. Her parents both died of AIDS. I found her living on the streets and scavenging for food in the garbage. Can you tell the court how these people have robbed you?

AFRICAN GIRL: I have not actually seen any of these people before today. All I have known is a hard life, trying to survive and to compete for food with the other children on the streets. Before I came here, I had no idea that anyone lives as these people do! I hear that they just go to the store and buy all the food that they need! I hear that the stores and restaurants here throw away much better food than we find in Africa. I wonder if I could move to America so that I could look for food in the dumpsters here?

PROSECUTING ATTORNEY: Thank you, honey! Your Honor, my last witness cannot speak, at least not verbally. It is this human baby in this jar of formaldehyde. I could have brought in millions of them, but this one will have to do. If it could talk, it would say that it was robbed by the defendant, because if God’s people had given more to the pro-life cause, this child might not have died. Counseling centers and homes for unwed mothers might have been established to help pregnant young women keep their babies. So much more could have been done, if only more funds were available. The money is there, Your Honor. It’s just that these people have spent it on themselves, with little regard for God’s perspective. This baby was robbed of life! I rest my case.

JUDGE: The defense attorney may now speak.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Thank you, Your Honor. I’m sure that you and the jury will quickly see how silly these charges are! I ask you to consider several lines of evidence.

In the first place, my client is an upstanding, law-abiding, church-going citizen who would never dream of robbing anyone! He has never personally seen any of these victims and has never been near them or their property. Yet here he is being charged with robbing people he has never seen or met! It’s ridiculous!

Second, my client has worked hard to earn every cent that he has. He has never been on welfare. He has earned the right to spend his money as he pleases!

Third, my client never used his possessions or wealth to hurt anyone. He only asks for some peace and quiet, so that he can enjoy the benefits of his lifetime of hard work. He has just followed the American dream of the good life and of having enough to enjoy his retirement years. He certainly did not intend to harm these people who live on the other side of the earth!

Finally, my client was not aware that he was breaking any law. He is charged with robbing God, but we have only heard from these human witnesses. To bring God into the case is unconstitutional. We have a separation between church and state in this country. Besides, my client believes in God. He is a good church member and has often volunteered his time, not to mention his many years of tithing. This extremist prophet has framed my good client! I ask the jury to find him not guilty!

[The jury exits to consider the case.]

Could it really be that decent, law-abiding, religious folks are guilty of robbing God? Isn’t the prophet going overboard to level such charges against people whose lives are centered on their religion? Might their reaction (3:8) be justified: “How have we robbed God?”

And, yet, the charges stand. They are repeated in one form or another four times in verses 8 and 9, so that we can’t miss them. God charged the whole nation with robbing Him. And yet they were blind to the charges. If these religious Jews were guilty of the charges, but also blind to them, then perhaps we should seriously consider whether we, too, may be guilty, but blind, to the same charges. God is saying,

If we have robbed God, we must return to Him and give obediently to His kingdom purposes.

Consider, first, the charge:

1. God charges His people of robbing Him.

First God gives a general charge of disobedience and then He narrows it to the specific charge of disobedient giving.

A. God’s people rob Him when they follow cultural religion that dodges radical obedience to God’s Word (3:7).

These people were living just as their fathers and grandfathers before them had lived, as culturally believing Jews. That was the problem. Their ancestors claimed to be followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but their religion was largely outward and cultural, not inward and heartfelt. Over the years, such religion gradually picks up elements of the culture, blending them in with the prescribed customs and rituals. This is called syncretism. God charges them and their ancestors of turning aside from His statutes and not keeping them. But they are dumbfounded by the charges.

It’s a wonderful thing to come from a long line of Christians. A Christian upbringing spares you much of the devastation that comes from a pagan background. But a Christian upbringing has its dangers. It is easy for the reality of a daily walk with God to leak out over the generations, where it becomes ritualistic and mechanical. Legalism creeps in, where families have rigid standards, but they aren’t necessarily biblical standards. Hypocrisy is another danger. Parents preach one thing, but the way that they relate to each other and to the children does not reflect the fruit of the Spirit. Gradually, a family drifts into a form of religion without the reality of knowing God, living by faith, and obeying His Word.

When these Jews protested the general charge of disobedience, God got specific:

B. God’s people rob Him when they fail to obey His Word with regard to giving (3:8-10).

This is called, “Going from preaching to meddling”! It’s easy to say in general, “I obey God.” So the Lord says, “Let’s get specific: How is your giving?” Ouch!

Giving is one of the most fail-proof litmus tests of your relationship to God. On more than one occasion, Jesus linked a person’s giving to eternal life. When Zaccheus, the wealthy tax collector, got right with God, his first recorded words were, “Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much” (Luke 19:8). His salvation immediately touched his pocketbook. Jesus confirmed this formerly greedy man’s conversion by saying, “Today salvation has come to this house” (Luke 19:9).

Contrast that with the tragic account of the rich young ruler. He seemed like such an eager potential convert. He came running (not walking) to Jesus and asked, “Good Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” What a witnessing opportunity! So Jesus said, “That’s easy. Just invite Me into your heart by faith.”

No, that’s not what Jesus said. He knew that the man had an idol. So He said, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But the man went away grieved, unwilling to obey Jesus’ words. Jesus didn’t run after him and say, “How about ten percent?” Rather, He said to the disciples, “How hard it will be for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!” (Mark 10:17-23).

In Luke 16:10-11, Jesus states that our stewardship of money is a test of how we will do with more important responsibilities: “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much. Therefore if you have not been faithful in the use of unrighteous wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you?” In the context, the “very little thing” is the money that God has entrusted to us! The “much” or “true riches” are the souls of people. Our use of money is God’s test of whether He can entrust souls to our care!

You can impress other Christians by your extensive Bible knowledge, your fervent prayers, or your many years of service in the church. But God does not look at any of those things to test your faithfulness. Rather, He looks at how you manage the money that He has entrusted to you. Are you greedy or generous? Do you have integrity in money matters? Are your priorities and motives for earning, spending, saving, and giving in line with His Word?

So, to evaluate God’s charge that we have robbed Him, we have to examine our stewardship of money. Maybe you’re thinking, “Whew, I’m off the hook, because I give ten percent to the Lord’s work!” Well, maybe, but probably not!

It may shock you to learn that ten percent is not the biblical standard for giving (for a longer treatment, see John MacArthur, Whose Money Is It, Anyway? [Word], pp. 97-113). Abraham once gave Melchizedek ten percent of his spoils from a single battle, but there is no indication that he regularly gave ten percent. Jacob promised to give God ten percent if God would do what Jacob wanted Him to do, but that is hardly a biblical model for giving! The Law of Moses actually prescribed several tithes that would have amounted to somewhere between 20-25 percent (Lev. 27:30-33; Num. 18:20-21; Deut. 12:17-18; 14:22, 28, 29). But in Israel, the tithe functioned more like an involuntary tax than as a freewill offering.

Many preachers (especially Baptists!) use Malachi 3:10 to teach “storehouse tithing.” One Baptist commentator says, “So-called storehouse tithing does have a sound basis in this verse.” The idea is that the church is the storehouse where you are supposed to give ten percent of your income. Anything that you give to other Christian organizations should be over and above that ten percent that goes to the local church.

I wish that I could promote that idea, because I’m sure that our church income would go up substantially if everyone did that! Frankly, we could use the money, both for ongoing budget expenses and to meet our need for more property and facilities. But that application stretches this text beyond credulity. The storehouse refers to the storage rooms at the temple, where the people brought the first fruits of their harvest. The priests who served at the temple used this produce for their needs. I’m sad to say that the storehouse was not the local church and the tithe is not the New Testament standard for giving!

It is significant that tithing is never mentioned in any instructions to the church, although much is said about giving. If the church is supposed to give ten percent, it seems strange that Paul did not mention this when he wrote to predominately Gentile churches, which would not be familiar with the Law of Moses.

People get nervous when you take away that ten percent figure. Somehow, it’s comfortable and simple to give ten percent. But the problem with tithing is that people get the notion that once they’ve paid God ten percent, they’re free to squander the rest on themselves. But I think that God would charge such people, however sincere they may be, with robbing Him.

You may wonder, “If I don’t tithe, then how do I determine how much I’m supposed to give?” The New Testament principle is that God owns it all. We just manage it for Him. The New Testament standard is, give generously and cheerfully “as God has prospered you,” out of gratitude for His indescribable gift of salvation (1 Cor. 16:2; 2 Cor. 8 & 9; Acts 11:29). For those who are very poor, ten percent may represent generous, sacrificial giving. For those who have ample salaries, ten percent may be robbing God.

I think that John Piper’s teaching is sound, that Christians ought to live with a wartime mentality, gladly making personal sacrifices in order to advance Christ’s cause. If we expect missionaries to live sacrificially for the sake of the gospel, shouldn’t we hold ourselves to the same standard? If we live in relative luxury while people perish because there aren’t enough funds to get the gospel to them, are we not guilty of robbing God?

Before we look at God’s remedy for how to turn from this crime, please notice the mandatory sentence:

2. Robbing God carries the sentence of God’s curse.

All crime is dumb, but robbing God is really dumb, because God knows that you are guilty and you can’t escape His sentence.

A. When we rob God, we come under His curse (3:9).

“You are cursed with a curse … the whole nation of you!” To rob God is to shoot yourself in the foot, and it doesn’t just hurt you. It also hurts all of God’s people. By withholding their tithes and offerings, the people forced the priests and Levites to work for their own support. That meant that they had to neglect the temple, causing worship to suffer. The inadequate worship adversely affected the Jewish families that came there to worship.

Not only that, but when the people refused to trust God by giving, God allowed the devourer to attack their crops (3:11). That may refer to locusts or other insects, or to hail or drought. God, who controls all of His creation, can either block harmful forces from our lives or turn them loose to wreak havoc. God does not delight in sending plagues on His people. But every parent knows that if you do not discipline your children when they disobey, you are not acting in love towards them. As God’s children, we need to learn that sin has negative consequences. Obedience opens the windows of heaven to pour out God’s blessings (we will look at this in our next study).

B. When we rob God, the nations miss God’s blessings (3:12).

When God’s people obey Him with their giving, the nations will see how God blesses His people and they will be drawn to the delightful land. The world isn’t drawn to disobedient Christians who are under God’s discipline. They are drawn to obedient believers who know the joy of God’s delightful blessings. Our generous giving to the cause of world missions directly blesses those who hear the gospel and come to faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

I cannot say whether or not you are robbing God. It is a matter for each of us, myself included, to examine individually, prayerfully and continually. I find that it’s easy to slip into a worldly mindset with regard to giving. But if you are guilty of robbing God, He gives the remedy here:

3. We stop robbing God by returning to Him and by giving obediently to His kingdom purposes.

A. We stop robbing God by returning to Him (3:7).

God does not say, “Return to keeping My law,” although the people needed to obey His law. Rather, He says, “Return to Me.” When we have sinned, the root need is always relational, not just for outward conformity to a rule or law. The motive for obedience, whether in morals or giving or whatever area, should always be love for the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

How would my wife feel at Christmas if I gave her a present and when she said, “Thank you,” I replied, “I was just doing my duty as your husband”? Even if it were a really nice gift, my loveless motive would kill the joy of the gift! If my relationship with her is right, then the gift will not be a duty, but a delight!

If you’re not giving generously, systematically, and sacrificially to the Lord out of love and gratitude to Him, then you need to return to Him. Get your relationship right and giving becomes a joy and delight. Notice, also, God’s abundant, gracious love. Even though Israel had sinned against Him for centuries, He promises that if they would return to Him, He would return to them (3:7). Like the father of the prodigal son, God is ready to run to us with His gracious forgiveness and restoration, when we return to Him.

B. We stop robbing God by giving obediently to His kingdom purposes.

1) Relationship is inseparable from obedience.

As Jesus said, “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love…. You are My friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:10, 14). In other words, you cannot be living in disobedience to God and truly say, “I love Jesus” or, “I’m under grace.” That would be like me saying, “I love Marla,” all the while that I was committing adultery against her! Love for my wife is inextricably bound up with obedience to my marriage vows.

2) Obedience must be total, not partial.

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse.” I presume that they were giving something. They just weren’t giving what the Lord required. They weren’t obeying completely. They were like folks who salve their conscience by dropping a few bucks in the offering plate every once in a while. But they weren’t being faithful stewards of all that God had entrusted to them.

Partial obedience isn’t really obedience; it’s just convenience. If I got audited on my income taxes, I wouldn’t fare well if I told the agent, “I pay most of my taxes, except when it’s inconvenient.” If my kids only obeyed me when it was convenient for them, I wouldn’t call that obedience!

Although for many Christians, giving ten percent would be a huge increase, tithing is really not all that difficult. You have to budget and be disciplined to do it, but it can become a routine matter. But if God requires that we give as He has prospered us, and that we seek first His kingdom and righteousness by laying up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:19-33), that’s a different matter! It means that I constantly must examine my heart motives and my stewardship of all that God has entrusted to me. I need to judge myself in this area not by the standards of our culture, but by God’s Word. We all should ponder often Paul’s words to Timothy:

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed (1 Tim. 6:17-19).

Conclusion

The jury files back in after deliberating your case. What would the verdict be? Are you guilty of robbing God? I’ll leave you to wrestle with that before the Lord, not just this week, but as a recurring battle as you seek to be a faithful steward of all that He has graciously entrusted to you for His kingdom purposes.

Discussion Questions

1. Is tithing a hindrance to biblical giving? Why/why not?
2. In a world of endless needs, how can a sensitive Christian know when he has given enough?
3. Is it a sin to live in luxury when people are in desperate need? What is luxury? Does God require us to live in poverty?
4. How should we harmonize, “Give to everyone who asks of you” (Luke 6:30) with, “if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either” (2 Thess. 3:10)?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2003, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation