MENU

Where the world comes to study the Bible

Lesson 4: Blasphemy, Parables, And A Stormy Night (Mark 3:20-4:41)

Related Media

Day One Study

Ask the Lord Jesus to speak to you through His Word. Tell Him that you are listening.

Read Mark 3:20-35 and Matthew 12:22-24.

1. Discover the Facts: This section is written in “sandwich” form. Verses 20-21 and verses 31-35 are like two slices of bread with verses 22-30 as the filling between them. It was a common format for writing at the time called a “chiasm.” Mark used this format 5 times in his book. Appropriately, this incident took place at mealtime.

  • When Jesus enters a house, what did he experience (v. 20)?
  • Who heard about this and what did they decide to do (v. 21)?

Think About It: Jesus experienced family pressure for Him to rest and stop the craziness. Their intentions were good in that they cared about Him. But, they misread the work He was doing. Has this ever happened to you?

  • While His family members were on their way, what did the lawyers declare (v. 22)?
  • In vv. 23-26, how does Jesus show that their charge is illogical?
  • In v. 27, who is stronger than the “strong man?”
  • What does Jesus declare can be forgiven (v. 28)?

Focus on the Meaning: “I tell you the truth” is a statement that says to the listener, “Pay attention. This is very important.” It’s almost like an oath. Mark records Jesus using this phrase 13 times. It denotes that Jesus was speaking out of His own authority.

  • What does Jesus declare will not be forgiven (v. 29)?
  • Why did Jesus say this (v. 30)?
  • Review v. 21. Who arrives (v. 31)?
  • What happened next (v. 32)?
  • What did Jesus say that probably shocked the people (vv. 33-34)?
  • What is the dividing line (v. 35)?

Jesus hits back hard at the hard-hearted teachers of the law. This discussion of blasphemy has often been misunderstood and wrongly taught. Blasphemy means to slander God or give credit to something else that belongs to Him.

2. Let’s look first at the truth of what Jesus said in the context in which He said it. We learn from Matthew that Jesus had just healed a demon-possessed man. What is the real accusation against Jesus by those who are opposing Him (v. 22, 30)?

3. Then, let’s define blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Read John 16:8-9 and the definition below to answer the next question.

Focus on the Meaning: Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is this: “The malicious resistance against the Holy Spirit’s converting power after one is shown that Jesus is the Christ.” It is like a line in the sand. John 16:8-9 describes the Holy Spirit’s role in conversion and the willful unbelief of those who resist Him.

In what ways are the lawyers committing blasphemy against the Holy Spirit? Derive your answer from the verses in Matthew and Mark that you read today.

Think About It: They know the truth and are still choosing against God and are slandering God in the process! He’s doing the miracles. Demons don’t heal people; God does. Who has been getting all the praise for the healings as they happened so far? God has. Aren’t they even listening?

4. Heartbreak to Hope: This reference to “family” is a foretaste of the Church. Every believer is adopted into God’s family by faith in Jesus. Doing God’s will by responding to Jesus makes you “family.” Your personal response to Jesus is not dependent on your birth and rearing. The underlying question Jesus is asking the crowd is this, “Will you follow Me more than the influence of your immediate family?” How will you answer that question?

Write a prayer to God in response to what He has shown you in this lesson.

Day Two Study

Ask the Lord Jesus to speak to you through His Word. Tell Him that you are listening.

Read Mark 4:1-20.

Why did Jesus teach with parables? Parables are sermon illustrations usually taken from everyday life or common experiences. They generally teach one main point so not every detail has significance. Those on the outside of Jesus’s circle of followers got the parables, which formed a dividing line between those who were in opposition or just curious and those who were committed to Jesus. Even the unreceptive could remember the parable. If their hearts responded, they could understand its meaning. His followers got the more direct teaching.

1. Discover the Facts: This is a well-known parable. Look at it with fresh eyes by answering these questions:

  • Describe the setting (v. 1).
  • Where did the farmer scatter his seed (vv. 3-8)?
  • What happened to the seed in each type of soil?
  • What did Jesus say in v. 9?
  • What did the Twelve ask Him (v. 10)?
  • Jesus says the listeners have two choices in vv. 11-12. What are they?

Focus on the Meaning: A secret or mystery (vv. 10, 12) in the Bible is something previously unknown but now being revealed. See Deuteronomy 29:29. A lot of things are revealed in the New Testament that were not known or understood in the Old Testament. Jesus drew a distinction between those who accepted His teaching, such as the Twelve, and those who rejected it, such as the [lawyers] and Pharisees. God was giving those who welcomed Jesus’s teaching new revelation about the coming messianic kingdom. He was withholding that revelation from those who rejected Him. (Dr. Constables Notes on Mark 2017 Edition, p. 69)

  • What does the seed represent (v. 14)?
  • What does the hard path represent (v. 15)?
  • What do the rocky places represent (vv. 16-17)
  • What do the thorny places represent (vv. 18-19)?
  • What does the good soil represent (v. 20)?

Focus on the Meaning: Most commentaries present this “Parable of the Sower” as being about fruitfulness and teachability in response to God. The main point is this: How will you respond to the Word of God sown in you? Truth must be acted upon. Fruitfulness is the result.

2. What are ears to hear (v. 9)? Did the disciples have ears to hear? How do you know?

3. Heartbreak to Hope: Where does the soil of your heart fit in this parable? Are you teachable? Are you acting upon the truth you are taught? What evidence of fruitfulness of the Word of God is there in your life? Acting upon the truth of God’s Word will bring you hope in those places where you might be experiencing heartbreak or pain.

Write A Prayer To God In Response To What He Has Shown You In This Lesson.

Day Three Study

Ask the Lord Jesus to speak to you through His Word. Tell Him that you are listening.

Read Mark 4:21-34.

Instead of looking at these parables in detail, you will be discerning what you think is the main idea that Jesus was illustrating with each parable and why you decided that.

4. Vv. 21-25. Note: “Hidden” refers back to “secret / mystery” in v. 11.

  • The main idea of this parable is what?
  • Why did you choose that?

5. Vv. 26-29.

  • The main idea of this parable is what?
  • Why did you choose that?

6. Vv. 30-32.

  • The main idea of this parable is what?
  • Why did you choose that?

7. Focusing on vv. 33-34:

  • What did Jesus give to His audience?
  • What did He do for His disciples (the Twelve)? See also v. 11.

Think About It: If you are a parent or teacher, you can identify with Jesus in discipling children. In a sense, Jesus was discipling His “children” (v. 34) in a way that is very similar to a parent or teacher discipling her children or students.

8. Heartbreak to Hope: Jesus mentioned a lamp in v. 21. Lamps give out light. Believers bear the light of the truth about Jesus. We are the walking, talking, visible representatives of the invisible God. As you let His light shine through you, who gets to see and enjoy the light?

Write a prayer to God in response to what He has shown you in this lesson.

Day Four Study

Ask the Lord Jesus to speak to you through His Word. Tell Him that you are listening.

Read Mark 4:35-41.

Historical Insight: Situated in a basin surrounded by mountains, the Sea of Galilee is particularly susceptible to sudden, violent storms. Cool air from the Mediterranean is drawn down through the narrow mountain passes and clashes with the hot, humid air lying over the lake. (NIV Study Bible 1984 Edition, note on Mark 4:37, p. 1501)

1. Discover the Facts: Have you been in a terrifying rainstorm while in a boat or driving? You will certainly be able to identify with the disciples.

  • After teaching all day, what does Jesus say (v. 35)?
  • Who is with Him (v. 36)?
  • What happened (v. 37)?
  • Where is Jesus and why (v. 38)?

Think About It: When you are so tired you can’t even stand up straight, Jesus has been there. He understands exhaustion. You can trust Him to help you and love you through it.

  • What do the disciples do and say (v. 38)?
  • What did Jesus say to the storm (v. 39)? Note: it’s the same thing that He said in Mark 1:25.
  • What two questions did He ask of His disciples (v. 40)?
  • What is their response (v. 41)?

Think About It: Jesus wasn’t worried about Himself or the disciples. God wasn’t worried about His Son. He was letting them all go through the storm, letting them struggle. The disciples were worried, though. Did they pray? Or, did they just panic? Their question was basically, “Do you care about us?” How often have you asked that same question when you have to struggle through something that is painful, uncomfortable, or fearful?

2. What new appreciation did the disciples have for their “rabbi?”

The question Jesus asked the disciples was directed at their fear. The word He used in v. 40 means “cringing in fear, panic, timid.” It never is used positively.

Fear is a normal human emotion designed by God to alert us to danger so we will take action against it. Yet fear can take root in us and cause us to give way to panic and hysteria. Jesus knows this about us. When we are afraid, Jesus wants us to trust Him and not give way to fear. Learning to do so is our walk from fear to faith.

Whenever you are gripped by fear, here are four truths you can apply to any situation. Say these truths to yourself over and over to cement them in your mind:

  • God loves me.
  • God knows what is going on in my life.
  • God can do something about it.
  • I can trust God’s goodness in what He chooses to do.

That last truth is the hard part. God is good and what He does is always good (Psalm 119:68). During our time of trusting Him, a loving God will say “no” to some things and “yes” to others. Our choice is to trust His goodness in whatever He chooses to do.

3. Heartbreak to Hope: What are the main things that strike fear in your heart? Do you have any specific phobias? Pick one thing that is causing you fear today. Apply the four truths above to that situation. Spend about 5 minutes trusting Jesus with that specific fear in your heart. Just mentally hand it to Him. Then, write it on a card and ask someone in your group (or a trusted friend) to pray for you all week long. Find “Whom Shall I Fear?” by Chris Tomlin on YouTube.com and sing along.

4. Heartbreak to Hope: Reflect back on this whole lesson, how did someone experiencing heartbreak, pain, or uncertainty find hope, healing and love?

Write a prayer to God in response to what He has shown you in this lesson.

[For additional application to this lesson, use the following “Applying Faith to Fear” process whenever you are afraid.]

— — — — —

Applying Faith To Fear

The information below is a great tool to use whenever you are afraid. It will lead you to apply faith to your fear.

1. Confront it. What fears do you have right now? Think about them. The worst ones, the real ones, and the imaginary ones.

2. Ask about each one: What is my worst-case scenario? Consider just one of those fears. What is the worst that could happen? Think realistically.

3. Consider: If the worst I can imagine happens, could I handle it through the presence and power of Jesus Christ? As a believer, you have the power of the One who created the Universe living inside of you. Can He help you get through anything? Read Romans 8:26—the Spirit Himself is praying for you in your weakness when you don’t even know what to ask for.

4. Remember these four truths and speak them to yourself:

  • God loves me. John 16:27; Romans 5:5, Ephesians 5:1
  • God knows what is going on in my life. Matthew 6:31-32; Psalm 139:1-10
  • God can do something about it. Genesis 18:14; Luke 1:37; Mark 10:27
  • I can trust His goodness in whatever He chooses to do. Psalm 119:68; Proverbs 3:5

5. Pray: Prayer is simply talking to God about anything and everything.

  • Thank the Lord for His presence and His goodness.
  • Ask Him for the courage and peace to ride out the storm. Where the Bible is clear, you can claim God’s promises by faith.
  • Anytime, you can ask for deliverance and protection. But you cannot hold God to promises He hasn’t made, such as immunity from natural calamities, illness, and troubles.

6. Live life securely in Him:

  • Take common sense precautions. Be wise in the world.
  • Trust God to show you what to do and to give you strength when you are weak.

Related Topics: Gospels, Women's Articles

The Praying Leader

Related Media

Leadership is the runaway hot topic for our generation. Books about how to be a great leader just keep rolling off the presses: several of those books I have read, and several are staring at me from the shelves in my office. But it is difficult to find modern advocates for the type of leadership that is described in the first six chapters of Acts. Those chapters tell the story of people who are not great leaders, but who are empowered to lead because they have “devoted themselves to prayer.”

The apostles were clueless about how to carry out Jesus’ commission, but they knew they were supposed to wait in Jerusalem. They had not proven themselves to be outstanding entrepreneurs or charismatic leaders; they did not have graduate degrees in theology, but there was one thing they had learned thoroughly from the Master— they got the waiting right. They were unified “with one mind, continually devoting themselves to prayer” (Acts 1:14).

This is more than what our generation calls spiritual formation. Each individual in the upper room was about to be radically transformed by the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and each of the Twelve had been through the spiritual formation boot-camp of three years with the Lord Jesus. There is no denying the formative power of their discipleship to Christ Jesus; but when we look at what they did, it was the united prayer of the apostles for direction and for spiritual breakthrough that became their leadership hallmark throughout the rest of their lives.

These men devoted themselves to prayer when they were just a handful of disciples and were still devoted to prayer when they numbered one hundred and twenty (1:15). When three thousand were added to their number in one day, the new members learned the lifestyle of the apostles “and they were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (2:42). Their miracles were accomplished in passing while on their way to prayer (3:1; 16:16); their initial reaction to persecution was to pray together (4:31); in the face of overwhelming work and responsibility they re-dedicated themselves to prayer (6:4). It is not only that they were praying men, but that they prayed together and that they brought others together to pray—this was the secret of their leadership.

Identifying Our Greatest Need

In the face of great and pressing need and explosive numerical growth, they understood what we do not: more than anything else our people need from us our united prayer for them. What is the greatest need in your church and in your community? Isn’t it the need for repentance, for spiritual hunger that only Jesus can fulfill, for changed hearts that result in changed lives, for restored marriages and families, for spiritual revival? I have come to realize that all of the things my people need most, only God can provide.

This is not to say that we can do nothing to help people. Most of the affirmation I receive from people results from a word of instruction or counsel or from a plan that they can implement or a project that they have participated in. I love this affirmation and secretly covet it and I deceive myself that since this is what they say they appreciate about my ministry, then this must be what I am doing right. But the words and the plans and the projects are meaningless unless the Holy Spirit is at work to convince the world of sin and to purify for Himself a people. He provides the life and the spark. People need His Word not mine, they need not my ministry but His, and this is the truth I must keep constantly fresh in my mind. But what a great joy it is when His ministry comes to them through mine!

Actually this ministry of the Spirit is not only what my people need most, it is also what I want more than anything. My greatest desire for my own children is that they walk with Christ; my greatest desire for the people in our church is their sanctification; my greatest desire for my community and my nation is spiritual awakening and revival. These are works that only the Holy Spirit can accomplish, and I participate in His work through prayer. Christ Jesus directly discipled and equipped twelve men over a period of three years, but His ministry of intercession has spanned twenty centuries and has been effectual for hundreds of millions. What my people need most and what I want most will be accomplished by following Jesus’ model of interceding for the saints according to the will of God.

Do we have ambitions to minister to greater numbers of people? Then let us ask ourselves whether we are able to make more disciples than did our captain Jesus. Do we desire our churches to grow? Then let us ask whether we are interceding adequately for those He has already entrusted to our care. The servant is not greater than his Master, so if we are Jesus’ servants then let us imitate Him by discipling a few and praying for them much.

To invite this lesson deeper into our hearts, let’s take a brief Bible quiz. Who was the greatest preacher in the Bible in terms of conversion ratios and numbers of converts? We have almost no information on the size of Paul’s churches or numbers of conversions, but we know that the apostles had 3000 conversions from one sermon— that is a productive day by any measure. But it would be hard to beat Jonah, don’t you think? Every person he met during his ministry was converted including the sailors on the ship and the whole city of Nineveh with its population in excess of 120,000 (and by some estimates close to a million). And it wasn’t just the people who were saved but the king ordered even the livestock to fast and wear sackcloth, and the Lord counted the livestock in His deliverance (3:7, 4:11). You have to admit, that is a pretty impressive result: a one hundred per cent conversion ratio, plus all the animals!

So if Jonah is the champion, who would you say is the least successful preacher in the Bible in terms of conversion results? Almost all of the faithful men of God whose stories are told in the Scripture had pretty slim results: Jesus’ “Bread of Life” sermon took Him from a congregation of more than five thousand down to twelve men in a single day; Moses discipled Joshua and Caleb while losing an entire generation; Noah rescued three sons and their wives while losing the entire population of the world! But the all-time record probably goes to Jeremiah, because not only did he fail to convert any of the people he preached to, but even he himself was kidnapped and taken to Egypt in defiance of the word of the Lord (Jeremiah 42-43). Moses, Noah and Jeremiah could not point to spectacular numbers, but they have this witness that by faith they pleased God.

Brothers, if our primary goal and desire is large numbers of people, then we have Jonah for our model, a man with a hard heart and one miserably self-centered prayer. If our primary goal is to please the Lord Jesus, then we have the Lord Himself for our model and all the apostles and the prophets, and if He is our model, then we must become people of prayer.

A Natural Overflow Or Disciplined Work?

Jesus taught us to pray to our Father in heaven and to approach Him as a loving Father who wants to give us our desires. Some believers who have enthusiastically embraced this picture, find it difficult to understand the need for discipline in prayer or the need for investing large amounts of time. They recall childhood conversations with their own fathers that were brief, single-topic exchanges and then it was off to the next thing. Those who are new in Christ pray just this way, in snatches and exclamations that are entirely appropriate and beautiful; we love to see their childlike faith in action. Even those who are maturing in Christ should come to their Father with childlike faith, bringing to Him what is most on their hearts without feeling the need to frame a prayer as though it were an act of Congress.

But as sons mature and begin to enter the family business, they will have more intense discussions with their fathers, and many of the discussions will involve mutual interests that run much deeper than the self-centered monologues of a toddler. It is not that mature sons stop talking with their fathers about their own problems and joys, but they become capable of understanding things in their fathers’ world—they are able to “be about the Father’s business.”

Jesus modeled this on the first full day of Peter’s discipleship when He got up “a long while before daylight, and went out to a solitary place, and there He prayed” (Mark 1:35). Peter and all of the inhabitants of Capernaum had plans for Jesus to get right to work meeting the needs of hurting people, but Jesus pursued the discipline of taking time with His Father in discussions about the family business. By the time He was ready to begin the workday, He had a very clear agenda—He told Peter that instead of meeting all the needs in Capernaum, they were going to go out into the surrounding towns, because that was the plan most consistent with His mission.

Do you imagine that Jesus needed daily “staff sessions” with His Father in order to know what He was supposed to do? I don’t believe it. While He emptied Himself of the privileges of godhood, He never ceased to be God. He would always have behaved godly, and He would always have known what would please the Father in every situation. Jesus spent time alone in prayer because He loved His Father. Whereas being with the disciples and the crowds was draining, being alone with His Father was pure pleasure; it was exhilarating, refreshing fellowship. Prayer for Jesus was not a discipline like deprivation dieting and calorie-burning exercise are for us; the discipline was not a painful exercise but a regular carving out time for enjoyable fellowship.

In my present ministry, the Lord has surrounded me with partners, men that I respect and love. My senior pastor comes by to visit me, often for thirty minutes or more, every day that we are in the office together. Those visits and conversations are often the highlight of our day. We don’t spend most of our time “getting on the same page” or going over details, mostly we are just sharing our lives with one another. But it is a discipline for both of us, in that we need to take the time away from the press of daily business to carve out time for fellowship. Likewise prayer is not a sweaty exercise, but it is a discipline.

Not usually a sweaty exercise, we should say, because one night prayer was precisely that for our captain Jesus. He said to Peter, “Are you still sleeping? Couldn’t you stand watch for one hour? Stand watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation!” (Mark 14:37) On that night prayer was hard work for Jesus, work that was exhausting for Him to do alone; but when He most wanted prayer partners, they let Him down. They did not have a very mature view of prayer even after three years of training.

During those three years, Jesus had taught them not only how to come to God with childlike faith, but also how to pray adult prayers. In the Majority Text reading of Matthew 17:21 He taught them that there are demons who can only be cast out by prayer with fasting. He surely did not mean that they should have begun to pray and fast when the demonic confrontation occurred (He Himself did not model that!) but that prayer and fasting needed to become part of their discipline if they hoped to be able to do battle with such powerful demons. In Luke 11 He told them not only to pray to God as their Father but also to ask and keep on asking like a man pounding on a door at midnight who refuses to accept “no”. In Matthew 6 He told them that they should not make lengthy, drawn-out prayers since the Father already knows every need, but in Luke 18 He told the Parable of the Unjust Judge to teach them “that men ought always to pray and not lose heart.” Is prayer a natural outflow of a living relationship with the Father? You bet. But for adult children it is also a discipline.

My dad lives three time zones away in North Carolina, and we rarely get to see each other. He is also not much for computerized communication. If we are going to stay in touch, it has to be by telephone. So I block out an hour every two or three weeks to talk with my folks. It is enjoyable, the conversation is natural, it is not hard work, but the time needs to be taken or we will never talk until an emergency occurs. I want a deeper relationship with my dad than just a few sentences during crisis times. Now that I am an adult I am capable of understanding his world in a way I never could as a child or even as a teenager. Now we can talk about the stuff he is doing, and it doesn’t have to be all about me. Now there are even times when I can enter his world as a partner.

This is the absolute icing on the cake for the believer who has cultivated an adult relationship with the Father. Jesus tells us that we should keep our eyes open and when we notice that the fields are ready for harvest, we should beg the Father to send out workers into the field (Matthew 9:38). It is not that the Father doesn’t know the state of His own harvest, but He desires to include us as adult children in His great work. Imagine being so up-to-speed with the Father’s business, that we can mention to Him the signs we see of people who are ready to enter His kingdom. Has it begun to penetrate our hearts what it is to be a co-heir with Christ Jesus? In eternity we are going to share with Jesus the whole kingdom! If we, then, are heirs of the family business, do we have no part and no interest in building the business today?

There is a measure of mystery here. Since Jesus made the complete and sufficient sacrifice and did all the work of redemption, and He is doing all the work of salvation, and it is all by His grace apart from any work of ours, anything we try to do to help will in fact ruin His great work. Since it is all by His grace apart from any good we can do, where could we ever get to contribute, to play a part in the harvest? This is the point at which a properly reverent Calvinism has sometimes been taken to its illogical extreme and has become fatalism; however, Jesus taught us that we could play an important part if we would be willing to discipline ourselves to pray. His work of atonement is complete but His work of intercession goes on, and He deeply desires that we would join with Him in it.

An Audit Of My Ministry Hours.

Personally, I don’t need to be convinced that prayer is my primary means of entering into the work that God is doing in the world around me. The apostles are my example; men who shared their leadership responsibilities with others so that they could invest their days in the main thing: “we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word” (Acts 6:4). But am I the only minister who has wondered what this looks like when it is lived out? I know that I spend about 12 hours per week in the study of the Scripture and about five hours in discipling and teaching people to do all that Jesus has commanded. An audit of my ministry hours easily verifies that I am being faithful to this commitment. But I am reticent to make an audit of my prayer time. For one thing, I don’t like to feel that my time with the Father is work. More than that, I don’t want my praying to be quantifiable, because it seems sacrilegious to measure worship by the clock. Also, I don’t want to publish my audit in case another minister stumbles into competition with me or lest I begin to think too highly of myself. However, I am seriously deceived if I think there is much danger of that; far more likely is the embarrassment that I will feel when it becomes obvious I am a laggard compared to the truly spiritual ministries of the mighty men of God during reformation times and the Great Awakening.

E.M. Bounds is a great one for reminding us that those mighty men disciplined themselves by making audits of their hours. He tells of Charles Simeon, John Wesley, John Fletcher, Martin Luther, Ken Leighton, Adoniram Judson, Samuel Rutherford and Robert Murray McCheyne. When they audited their hours every one of these men was spending between two and four hours a day in prayer, and it is Bounds’ conclusion that two hours of prayer is a minimum daily requirement for any conscientious spiritual leader.

The missionary who most gives me pause though is David Brainerd. His praying lit the fire of the first Awakening in this country and his praying has been an inspiration to generations of spiritual leaders, but Life and Diary of David Brainerd is excruciating to read because of his melancholy labor in prayer. When I first read the Diary I determined that his was one example I would not emulate, because he was so driven, so obsessive about the discipline of praying. But it is wonderful to follow Brainerd as he begins to associate more and more closely with the Indians as his people: his prayers become more intercessory and less self-aware, and prayer becomes a joy to him. That is the kind of missionary I want to become.

Well, I am still reticent to publish my ministry audit for all the reasons already mentioned and for the further reason that we have each been called to unique ministries. My partner and senior pastor spends more time than I do in study, because his primary ministry to our congregation is to preach the word. My primary ministry is the pastoral care and discipleship of our adults and of our missionaries, so I have more people that are my prayer responsibility. When you and I give our accounts before Jesus’ bema, each of us will stand or fall based on the evaluation of our Master who gave us our individual assignments. And we will certainly stand, because God is able to make us stand.

However I have come to agree with E.M. Bounds that two hours of prayer is the minimum requirement to fulfill my responsibility to intercede for the people Jesus has already entrusted to me. I would be embarrassed to ask Him for more people and more responsibility until I am able to meet this level at least. And since my overarching prayer for the ministry He has given me is revival and awakening in America in my generation, then it is simple common sense that I should follow the example of the mighty men God raised up to lead America’s previous awakenings.

I am offering you my conviction regarding the time I need to be spending in prayer. Let me also confess my true state: I have not been meeting this level of discipline over the past three weeks or more. But I can say that I am praying with joy in the Holy Spirit, and it is not a sweaty exercise! So with integrity and candor let me share what I have learned about praying for at least an hour a day with both discipline and joy.

How To Pray For An Hour A Day Without Getting Stale.

Having already confessed that two hours are a minimum for the work God has called me to, I could wish that I were already laying hold of this minimum. Actually, I have a very effective idea in mind about how to get there, but it would not help anyone. The natural disposition of my personality is to set out a goal and to “gut it out” until the goal is achieved. What a travesty of prayer that would be! How could I imagine that my Father would be blessed because I am able to force myself to endure two hours in his presence? It is against duty-driven people like me that God said, “Couldn’t one of you just get up and shut the door to prevent this useless kindling of fire on My altar?” (Malachi 1:10 paraphrased).

Do you feel that your regular scheduled prayer time is stale and useless? Does it ever occur to you that maybe God feels the same way about listening to your stale praying? How can we balance the spiritual discipline of prayer with the vibrant give-and-take of a personal relationship?

The answer is in the tension between the Scriptural injunction, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and Luke 11:1 where Jesus prayed until “He ceased.” The principle that the apostles taught and practiced was a life oriented toward God in prayer, but Jesus by His own example showed that there is a way to pray through to a conclusion and there is no need to pray beyond that conclusion. In fact, He specifically instructed His disciples against empty repetition beyond the logical conclusion of our praying—that is what pagans do because they think that there is merit in long hours of time and large numbers of words (Matthew 6:7). This kind of praying by the clock harms our relationship with the Father, because it perverts our fellowship with Him into a human work and His gracious attention to our requests into the merest magic.

However it is quite possible to keep a regular prayer time without turning it into a work. One way is to include variety. My ministry partner hates to pray from lists, so instead he associates his daily prayer requests with his various daily activities. There are some needs he prays for in the shower, some needs he prays over at mealtimes, and some needs he prays for while he is brushing his teeth. I have never been a multi-tasker, and this method does not work for me at all; but I did learn an important lesson from a chance comment by Charles Swindoll when he said that the first thing he does when he opens his eyes in the morning is to begin thanking God. What a great idea! In the two minutes after the alarm goes off and before I get out of bed, I thank God for another day to serve Him. Without any effort at all I also thank God for the good gift He has given me in my wife who is still asleep next to me. This has become a habit of life, and one that has added grace to my days.

There are probably dozens of ways to add variety to our praying and to intersperse prayer throughout our daily lives. Each of us will discover ways that keep us sharp and interested. This year my primary praying takes place in the morning before I leave home, and during the first hour that I am in the office, and during the half- hour after lunch. In the morning I am confessing my sin and inability and begging God to help me; in the office I am interceding for the people, and after lunch I concentrate on the needs of a handful of people for whom I have long-term commitments to intercede.

While my wife is getting ready for the day and preparing our breakfast, I have about fifteen minutes of quiet in which I can’t help but review the plans for the day and the worries that are at the back of my mind crying out for attention. Jesus is teaching me that I don’t need to be anxious but that He wants me in everything by prayer and supplication to make my requests known to Him. Please don’t imagine that I am vigorously praying through a list of other people’s needs before 6am! This is much more like a pre-combat confession, where I am reviewing the specific things that are staring me in the face and am telling my Captain that I feel inadequate in myself but that I trust Him, that He has made me an able minister of the new covenant.

When breakfast is ready, I wake the boys and we do not pray over our meal. Instead we sing a song or hymn that is really a prayer set to music (eg. “O God our Help in Ages Past” or “There is a Redeemer”). We don’t have great voices at that hour of the morning but it helps our family to pray together in a meaningful way. Then after we eat, we read a chapter from the Bible and take turns interceding for others. This whole breakfast mini-worship service adds about fifteen minutes to our morning preparation time but it is probably the most significant daily leadership role that God has given me. Becoming a praying leader must begin at home.

By the time I arrive in my office, I have already been in communion with God for at least half an hour, but because the prayer styles are varied and interspersed with other activities it feels as though I have been praying without ceasing from the minute I opened my eyes. It is 7:30am and the office building will remain dead quiet for the next hour. I could get a lot done in that hour! I could study my text for the message I am preparing or I could work on the newsletter that needs to go out tomorrow or I could reply to missionary correspondence that has been piling up lately…

Brothers, this is the moment of my day when prayer becomes work, proper work. There are people in my congregation who will be interviewing for jobs today and they need their pastor praying for them. There are men and women who are being bullied and intimidated in their witness; some feel hopeless about their marriages or their adult children; some are just beginning the journey of discipleship and will certainly come under spiritual assault. Now I am armed for spiritual battle, and now I ignore the red light that tells me I have phone messages and the crowded calendar and unfinished business, and I partner with the saints to do “the work of the ministry.”

But it is just at this point when the multitude of other important tasks clamor for attention. John Donne was amazed at how easily he was distracted from his prayer ministry by a buzzing fly or a carriage passing by in the street. I am more easily distracted by the myriad of things I need to be doing as soon as I get finished with praying. O how slow of heart! As though what I think I need to get done today is in any way more important than what God intends to do—what He intends to do with me and through me. As long as I am in the body, I will probably always struggle against this liability to distraction, so I have decided that when a thought comes into my head about something that needs to be done, I will write it down on my to-do list immediately. Then I will pray about that specific task. And then I will go back to interceding for my people. Somehow I know that God will “take care of the shop” until we are done.

Forgive me, I don’t mean to leave the impression that I regularly intercede for the needs of the people for a solid hour every morning. When I get tired or run out of requests that seem urgent, I review Scripture or get a cup of coffee or even check my inbox for new prayer requests, and then return to intercession. By 8:30 I’m ready to tackle the list of today’s projects.

Another discipline that I learned from my ministry partners is that when we hear a prayer request, we pray for it immediately. This means that all morning long as we receive email, we are pausing to pray for the needs that people are mentioning to us. When a phone call comes in, whichever pastor takes the call prays with the caller. Often these prayer times over the telephone accomplish far more than the caller expected, and God (not the pastor) receives the glory.

Besides the needs of the congregation and our missionaries there are a handful of people that I make a commitment to pray for on a daily basis. Usually these are the men I am discipling or the couples I am counseling. I pray for them during the period just after lunch when I find that I have a limited capacity for creativity or imagination. I pray for them down the list of requests that I know are the biggest needs in their lives, and they know that I am praying for them every day at lunchtime. Am I getting drowsy or unable to concentrate? Then I read a chapter in a devotional book (this month it is Andrew Murray’s With Christ in the School of Prayer), and then return to the business of praying. Many times these disciples will call during their lunch break with fresh prayer needs, and I am pleased to be able to tell them, “I was just now praying for you!”

These times of solitary prayer lay a foundation for an even greater variety and fellowship in our prayers with others. This year the Lord has gathered a missionary prayer team that meets to pray with me every Thursday at noon for the specific needs of our members overseas. There are two very small groups of disciples that meet with me each week, and we place an emphasis on praying together for one another. We encourage our congregation to write their prayer requests and place them in the offering on Sunday, and each week when our elders or pastors meet together we take the requests and pray out the needs of our people before the Lord. I am a prayer partner for two missions that our members have launched and so I meet with those prayer teams once per month. There is also a prayer team that meets in our home every Sunday evening. Each of these prayer groups has a different focus and a unique flavor and composition. We are learning that it is possible to pray without ceasing and never to be bored or disinterested.

How To Bring Others With You

It is possible to live a life of prayer and never become bored or boring, but it is also quite possible to get into a rut. We know from painful experience that prayer meetings can be dull, and even the most fervent prayer teams can degenerate without spirit-filled leadership. How can a praying leader ensure that his group stays on track?

The most common cause of this degeneration that the leader must guard against is staleness and sin in his own life. When the leader shows by his attitude and actions that he feels capable in his own strength to carry the work forward, the urgency goes out of the prayer group and the glory departs. The leader must continue to cultivate a heart of dependence upon God and must be daily proving His sufficiency if he hopes to call others to join him in prayer. The scriptural promise of effectual prayer is to the righteous man; the carnal leader will never win great victories in the spirit nor will he be able to encourage others to rely upon spiritual means to accomplish the business of the kingdom.

Next to our personal fellowship with Christ Jesus, our first priority as praying leaders is to lay a solid and shared theological basis for praying together. Does that seem to be at odds with leading interesting and exciting prayer meetings? Well, it might be if we pursued this priority like a seminary course, but that is not the only way to build upon a theological foundation! Rather, a skillful leader can do this in just a few sentences at the beginning of a prayer meeting before any specific requests are mentioned.

Paul laid a shared theological foundation for prayer at the beginning of 2 Corinthians (1:11) when he told them that they were “helping together” by praying for his missionary team. This verse tells us that Paul believed prayer helped in his daily deliverance, that partners praying together helped even more than believers praying individually, and that one of the main reasons for praying together is so that God will receive more glory when we thank Him together for His answers.

We must always guard against turning our prayer meetings into Bible lessons, but in five minutes or less it is possible to greatly heighten the awareness of common purpose in prayer. This will encourage passion and perseverance in the group and it will cause the requests and the intercession to focus much more on the business of the kingdom of God than on the business of the group and its members. The business of the kingdom is of earth shaking significance, and prayer partners who understand their part in conducting that business will not soon lose interest.

Are we praying for the Lord to provide the right personnel for some work in His Kingdom? Jesus’ example in Luke 6:12 inspires us to pray as He did before setting apart workers. Are we waiting on the Lord for financial provision? Paul’s message to his supporters in Philippians 4 is encouraging and emboldening. Are we asking God to adopt new children into His family? Five minutes of meditation upon I Timothy 2:1-6 will add power and confidence to a unified prayer team.

When inviting people to join a prayer group it is also important to state the prayer focus or common prayer burden from the outset. One of the weekly prayer meetings that I lead focuses on praying for revival in our country beginning in our church. When we meet we want to know about specific needs in one another’s lives, but we all come with the anticipation that we will be praying together for revival and spiritual awakening. This mutual understanding of our purpose for meeting helps us to avoid the deathtrap of shallow prayers far removed from the glory of Christ in His church. Once a prayer group starts down the road of self-absorbed “sharing”, all of the energy bleeds out.

A group that meets once per month to pray for a local mission began to lose focus in just this way. The host had a family need that everyone in the group took to heart, and we spent part of our prayer time supporting him and praying for his family and I am glad we did. Over the next couple of months other members gave similar requests until finally we were spending only about ten minutes of the hour praying for the mission and its outreach. As the group lost its focus, it also lost its urgency and the members became less committed to consistently gathering together. The prayer leader regained the initiative and restored our focus by sending out a list of specific prayer targets to each member of the group on the day before the meeting.

Prayer groups die when they lose their sense of united purpose and become self-absorbed, but prayer power can also be quenched in a meeting when one or two people monopolize the time. This is just self-absorption in another suit of clothes. The members need to learn that when they are leading out they should pray to the point and then pass the baton. Generally sixty seconds are sufficient to make a request and to state the grounds for the request. When I hear a child going on and on to his parents about why he needs something, I wonder why the parents don’t make him be quiet. If the request is legitimate, it should not take a dozen paragraphs to justify it, and Jesus has already made it clear how He feels about needlessly lengthy prayers. We need to trust that if we leave out an important point, someone else in the group will press that point when it is their turn to pray, and even if they don’t, “the Father knows what you need even before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:8).

Prayer time is just about the most valuable resource that God has given us to steward, and the prayer leader must make a budget and stick to it. The first few minutes are needed for the group to gather and greet one another and then five minutes are needed for the leader to recall the group to its common purpose and to remind the believers of God’s encouragement and desire to hear their prayers. Then the wise leader will begin to remind the members of God’s answers to their recent praying and will give opportunity for praise and thanksgiving from the members. There also needs to be time set aside for the members to share prayer requests that relate to the group’s purpose. An hour can easily evaporate leaving only a few moments to actually do the work or praying. This is like spending millions on research and design and then having nothing in the budget to actually build the project!

To avoid the fiasco of prayerless prayer meetings, the wise leader should clearly communicate the anticipated end time. When busy Americans are in an open-ended meeting they become very nervous—it is as if someone has left the faucet open and their precious hours are being poured down the drain. Everyone rests more easily when the leader tells them the end from the beginning. The leader should also make it clear how much of the time he expects to spend in actually doing the work of praying, so no one feels devalued when he has to cut short the time of sharing requests.

The last common dissipater of prayer power that I must mention is neglecting to sharpen the point. I am not convinced that it does any good at all to pray, “Lord, bless our missionaries;” there may be some value in this for some saints, but it is not possible for me to pray this prayer and mean anything by it other than some pleasant niceness that everyone can agree on. The blur and the haze that result from such general prayers cannot abound to the glory of God, because no one can ever point to a specific answer to praise Him for. It is risky to ask God specifically to supply the $90,000 needed by March 1 for Missionary Smith to secure a church building, but when Mr. Smith reports the arrival of the funds at 10pm on February 28, there is great glory and it all goes to the Father. Remember blind Bartimaeus. His general plea “have mercy” was only a starting point, and then Jesus asked him (Mark 10:51), “What do you want Me to do for you?” I doubt he would have received his sight had he said, “O, just bless me and my family and the rest of my synagogue.” We have been granted the power of Niagara, but how often we fritter it away by refusing to bring it to bear.

Praying For Spiritual Breakthrough

One way my partners are teaching me to steward the spiritual power of praying in Jesus’ name is by identifying “breakthrough prayers.” By “breakthrough prayers” we mean requests that: 1) advance Jesus’ kingdom in measurable ways, 2) advance our mission in Jesus’ kingdom, 3) can only be accomplished by God, and that 4) we agree together to pray persistently with fasting.

An Old Testament example of breakthrough praying was Ezra’s leadership at the Ahava Canal (8:21-23). He brought all of the exiles together for a period of fasting. He established the basis of his prayer upon the reputation and kingdom of God, because he had told the king that God was able to protect them more effectively than an army could. The request was specific and measurable: if they were attacked or if they died of hunger or thirst through not finding “the right way”, it would be obvious that God had not answered their specific request. They purposely went without an escort in order that their safety could only be explained by God’s protection.

This is strategic praying in its highest form. Ezra understood from the Word of God how important their mission was in His plan and kingdom. With the vision of God’s glory clear before him, he prayed with absolute confidence and carried forward the purpose of God in his generation. Ezra’s administrative work was important and his faithful attention to detail obviously played a part in the success of his mission, but his crucial contribution was his determination to seek the Lord and to call his people to seek the Lord for His help and direction.

A New Testament example of this kind of strategic praying is the leadership team at Antioch Church (Acts 13:1-3). At a crucial point in the history of the church, as the first mission team went out specifically to carry the gospel to the gentiles, the church leaders met together for two periods of prayer focused by fasting. In answer to their first breakthrough prayer, the Holy Spirit gave them direction about whom they should send. Then they apparently prayed afresh with another period of fasting (v. 3) for the success of their missionaries, and the rest of Acts 13 and 14 details the answer to that prayer. Near the close of that period of spiritual breakthrough, the apostles again followed this pattern with each of the churches in Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch, appointing elders and praying together with fasting (14:23).

Every autumn our church leadership spends several weeks in prayer seeking to refine our breakthrough requests for the coming year. Since 2001 we have been praying every year for ten new missionary families to send to the field by the end of 2010. So far the Lord has given us three families that have gone out and the rest are still in preparation, but our whole congregation is in united prayer for those whom the Lord is identifying in answer to our prayer.

Breakthrough prayers help our faith to grow. In 2004 we prayed that we could lead fifty people to faith in Christ, and the Lord gave us 51. This was far beyond our fruitfulness in previous years, so we were emboldened in 2005 to ask for ninety people that we could baptize (we had been averaging fewer than 20 baptisms per year), and He gave us 87. We noticed that our youth were desiring a greater involvement in the prayer revival, so in 2006 we asked for seventy students and seven teachers whom we could lead to faith in Christ (notice how far our faith had grown in two years) and He gave us 164 students and two teachers! We were thrilled by the direct answer to our prayer, but we were a bit disturbed that only 32 of us were involved in the actual fruit of the evangelism, so in 2007 we are asking for fifty of us to be able to lead at least one person to faith in Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit seems to guide us into the prayers He desires to answer as we set ourselves to seek the glory of God and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom.

How Breakthrough Spreads

Breakthrough prayers allow us to partner with other churches. We have a special relationship with one independent church in La Pine, Oregon and another in Richardson, Texas. We can’t be in more than one place at a time, but because the leaders of these churches have identified breakthrough prayers, we are able pray accurately for them and to participate in the fruit God is producing among them. Last weekend the Lord allowed the Oregon church to baptize six of their young people many of whom were facing stiff opposition, and we had part in this victory by prayer. This week I hope to see some visiting missionaries from our partners in Texas whom I pray for every day. I began to pray for these missionaries simply because I was interceding for my Texan brothers who desire a breakthrough to Muslims in their community and around the world.

Revival and spiritual awakening is a work of God that He effects by answering prayer. As our churches notice His answers, our people grow in faith to ask for more… and the more they ask, the more they receive. A cascading effect of growing faith and increased prayer results in the spiritual momentum called “revival”. And the revival spreads when the praying leaders of one local church join with the praying leaders of another. This is true revival that begins with repentance at home.

Let me conclude with a prophetic word concerning Israel’s future, a scripture that 260 years ago became the theme of America’s Great Awakening (Zechariah 8:21):

The inhabitants of one city shall go to another, saying,
“ Let us continue to go and pray before the LORD,
And seek the LORD of hosts.
I myself will go also.”

Related Topics: Discipleship, Issues in Church Leadership/Ministry, Leadership, Pastors, Prayer

4. Foundation Four: Communication In Marriage

Related Media

At the core of every healthy marriage is the ability of a couple to successfully communicate with one another. Communication can be difficult because each individual may have a different background, experiences, and sometimes even culture, which all affect communication. In addition, 60 to 90% of all communication consists of body language, eye contact, facial expressions, and tone rather than words. Communication is a skill that must be learned and practiced in order to have a successful marriage.

The Bible teaches us a great deal about communication, since God, the author of the Bible, is a communicator. When he created the heavens and the earth, he did it by communicating. He said, “Let there be light.” In fact, through nature he speaks to us every day. David said this:

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.
Psalm 19:1-4

God speaks to us through nature, telling us of his great glory and splendor. He also speaks to us through his Son, who came to the earth not only to die for our sins but also to give us the Father’s words. In fact, John called Jesus “the Word” (John 1:1); he was the very communication of God. Jesus said this about his teaching: “My teaching is not my own. It comes from him who sent me” (John 7:16). And, ultimately God speaks to us through the Scriptures by the Holy Spirit (cf. 2 Tim 3:16-17). God is a communicator, and man, who is made in the image of God, is a communicator as well.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

What do you think Solomon meant when he said the power of life and death is in the tongue?

Solomon understood that as people made in the image of God, we similarly have power in our tongues. We have power to create and power to destroy. We can encourage people and lift them up with our words or destroy them with our words.

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” was very mistaken. Many people carry great hurt and pain from words spoken over them years ago. They were ugly, skinny, fat, not smart enough, not athletic enough, not social enough, etc., and that stigma stayed with them for years. In the same token, people who have had encouraging friends, family, and community typically are confident and hopeful. In fact, words spoken over people can even affect their destiny. James, the brother of Jesus, taught that even though the tongue is a small member of the body, it controls the body. It guides the body like the bit in a horse’s mouth or the rudder of a ship (cf. James 3:1-6). There is a tremendous power in our words to give life or bring death.

The power of communication is especially important in the context of marriage. By our words, we can develop a beautiful and prosperous marriage that glorifies God. And, by our words, we can destroy the very gift and mission God has given us in marriage.

In this session, we will consider principles that will enhance communication in marriage. We will study the importance of growing in knowledge of your mate, honoring and accepting gender differences, always speaking edifying words, listening to your mate, and learning to remain in Christ.

Know Your Mate

The first principle that will enhance communication is simply getting to know your mate. Peter said this in 1 Peter 3:7: “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” “Be considerate” can also be translated “dwell with them according to knowledge,” as seen in the KJV.

What type of knowledge must the husband develop in his relationship with his wife in order to respect and honor her? The husband must develop knowledge of his wife’s person. Each person is uniquely made. Things that bother the wife might not bother the husband. Things that excite the husband might not excite the wife and vice versa. There is often miscommunication in marriage simply because couples do not know each other well enough.

The husband must learn what makes the wife happy, what makes her sad, and what angers her and use this information to build her up and communicate with her better. Even though Peter speaks to husbands, this is certainly true for wives as well. In Greek, the word “know” typically refers to not just an intellectual knowledge but also an experiential knowledge. The husband and wife must know each other intimately so they can better communicate with one another.

How should they develop this knowledge? As Peter said, they develop it by spending time with one another (i.e. “dwell”). While dating, couples often spend as much time as possible with one another, but sadly in marriage, quality time starts to fade. The husband has work; the wife is caring for the house and children and possibly working as well. As the children get older, the husband and wife spend more time focusing on the children and less time on one another. As this rhythm continues, they eventually get to the point where they no longer know one another at all. These two individuals change every day and to continue to know one another intimately, they must make time for one another. This time could include yearly couple retreats, weekly date nights, and daily times of intimate communication. My wife and I try to spend at least the last hour of every day with one another, without the TV or computer on. By doing this, we aim to get to know one another better.

The more distant spouses become, the greater they struggle with communication. This is also true of pre-married couples. Courtship and engagement are very special seasons that help lay the foundation for future building. Couples who communicate well, know each other well. And those who don’t know each other well, don’t communicate well.

How is God calling you to strategically grow in intimacy with your mate?

Honor and Accept Gender Differences

The next principle necessary in marital communication is not only knowing your mate but accepting and honoring your mate as the man or the woman God made them to be. A common source of miscommunication in marriage is the simple fact that men and women are different. Not only does the opposite sex have many physical and emotional differences but communication differences as well, and these differences are often amplified in the marriage union. A great amount of fighting in marriage comes from not understanding and accepting these differences.

Many women grow up with a female best friend who they share all their feelings with, and in return, the best friend primarily gives affirmation. Men are typically more goal-oriented communicators. Communication is meant to accomplish something. Often male communication is used to decide where one is going, how to get there, and then what to do after getting there. It has a goal in mind. Whereas for a woman many times the goal is different. The goal could be as simple as expression, feeling heard and accepted.

Often women cry out, “Men!” And men cry out, “Women!” Both cry out in despair because they cannot figure out the other. The Bible teaches that God chose man and woman for one another. Eve was taken from Adam’s ribs and formed perfectly to match him. Though different, man and woman were made for one another, and when unified in a godly marriage, there may be no greater way in which they demonstrate the image of God (cf. Gen 1:27).

In creating man and woman, we can be sure God was aware of the immense differences that could cause conflict in their relationship. Therefore, he gave clear instructions in his Word about how to navigate the communication gap in order to have a successful marriage.

Again, the apostle Peter, a married man, said this in his epistle:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
1 Peter 3:7

Peter called wives the weaker partner (or weaker vessel) and commanded husbands to be considerate of them and to treat them with respect (or honor). What did he mean by the woman being the weaker vessel? Certainly, it means weaker physically, but it probably means much more than that. One interpretation is that weaker vessel has the connotation of more precious or more delicate vessel. Because the woman is more delicate than the man, he is more prone to hurt her physically, emotionally, and of course, verbally. For this reason, Paul commanded husbands to not be harsh with their wives (Col 3:19). Many times, the husband becomes harsh with his wife simply because of their differences—the different ways God made them. Therefore, Peter calls for husbands to not only be considerate of these differences but also to honor them (1 Peter 3:7). Though Peter speaks to the husband, the wife, certainly, must obey this as well. She must be considerate of her husband and the way God made him, and honor those differences.

As stated before, many men and women, instead of honoring the differences God created in the opposite sex, dishonor them and set out to change them. The man wants the woman to be more direct, to stop being so lady-like, and so sensitive. The woman wants the man to be more sensitive and to listen better. Certainly, there is much we can and should learn from the opposite sex. With that said, we must always “honor/respect” the unique differences that are rooted in how God created them. God made males and females different from one another.

Surely, as many married men do, Peter probably started out trying to make his wife more like himself. But Peter learned that God uniquely created women and those differences were to be honored. Therefore, this is an important principle to remember in marriage and one that God commends. Honor the unique characteristics of the vessel God created for you.

In my marriage, this has helped me tremendously. Where previously, I wanted my wife to change; I couldn’t understand or accept her thinking. I’ve learned to accept and honor her as the more delicate vessel. God made her different from me, and praise God for those differences. Instead of trying to change her, I am learning to daily accept and honor her more. I want her to feel the acceptance and joy that God has for her uniqueness. In addition, I’m also learning how much I need each one of those unique differences.

Pre-married couples should learn to accept the differences in their mate, to honor those differences, and to learn from them. Since God made the woman to help the man and the man to help the woman, they need to learn from one another. Learn how to honor those differences, and make your spouse feel accepted and honored for being who God has uniquely made him or her to be. This mutual honor will enhance communication.

Always Speak Edifying Words

Related to honoring our spouse, God makes it very clear that we should never dishonor him or her through our words. Watch any movie or TV show and you will see people disrespecting and dishonoring one another. Sadly, this often happens in marriages, in direct conflict with God’s commands.

Paul says this in Ephesians 4:29-30:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Through Paul, God commanded us to never let unwholesome talk come out of our mouths. This includes cursing, blaming, accusing, gossiping, lying, etc. All these are unfit for Christians to speak, especially in the context of marriage.

Paul also gives the positive directive of speaking “only” words that build the other up according to their needs (v. 29). In marriage, the majority of fights would never begin if couples spoke words that build up rather than tear down.

Psychologists have affirmed a useful method to aid in this process called using “I statements” instead of “you statements”. When a wife says, “You never listen to me!” and “You don’t care about me!” This automatically makes a husband feel attacked and go on the defensive.

Instead, it is suggested that we use “I statements” such as: “When you start talking before I finish sharing, I feel like you’re not listening to me.” “When you watch TV all night, I feel like you don’t care about me.” This is simply giving information, instead of accusing one of personal wrong. And, it opens the door for evaluating these feelings instead of fighting. This is a great tool that will help one speak only words that edify, especially when dealing with a potentially sensitive topic.

Practice the Art of Listening

In conjunction with speaking only words that edify, Scripture also gives us further teaching about healthy communication. James, the brother of Jesus, said, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).

In order for a person to only speak edifying words, they must master the art of listening. Here are a few tips to aid in becoming a better listener. One should:

1. Practice listening to what your spouse is saying.

It has often been said that God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we would listen twice as much as we talk. This is a wise principle in communication. We must practice listening.

Something that will help with this is practicing “active listening.” We do this by repeating what our spouse said in order to get confirmation. For instance, one could say, “This is what I hear you saying, you feel neglected when I watch TV all night. Is that correct?” By repeating, you get to clarify your spouse’s words and intentions. You also show him or her that you are trying to understand, which is important in communication.

2. Practice listening to what your spouse is not saying.

Many times, there is more communicated by what a person is not saying than what is actually said. Communication is between 60 to 90% nonverbal. Sometimes, just the fact that a spouse is quiet may say a great deal. It may say he is not feeling well or he has more to talk about. This is something a good spouse will learn to discern. Study your spouse’s body language and tendencies in order to enhance communication.

3. Practice listening to the Holy Spirit.

God wants to give us wisdom to minister to the uniqueness of our spouse. He knows our spouse in a greater way than we do. Therefore, we should practice praying, even sometimes during conversations, so we can hear what God wants us to hear and say what he wants us to say (cf. Neh 2:4-5). James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

4. Practice speaking less.

Of course, in order for a person to clearly listen to his spouse and God at the same time, he must learn how to talk less. Solomon said this in Proverbs, “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking” (10:19, NKJV). In many relationships, people talk way too much and, therefore, listen way too little, which leads to constant arguments. James said we should be quick to listen and “SLOW TO SPEAK.”

Learn to Remain in Christ

As mentioned, Scripture gives us many principles about communication since our God is a communicator; however, with that said, one must realize that understanding these principles is obviously easier than putting them into practice. The Bible teaches that not only do we need God’s wisdom but also God’s power to communicate well because of our propensity to sin. Jesus said in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

These principles can only be successfully applied to a pre-marriage or marriage relationship if the people involved are walking closely with their Savior and abiding in his presence. When you remain in Christ, God will give you the fruits needed to be successful. These fruits include patience, self-control, love, forgiveness, and even the right words to say. Remaining in Christ is the secret to fruitful communication for both spouses.

How do we remain in Christ? Remaining in Christ includes, but is not limited to, disciplined prayer, Bible study, regular church attendance, serving, repentance of sin, and simply put, drawing near to Christ daily. By remaining in Christ, we recognize our inability to communicate well, and how, apart from his grace, we will destroy what God has given us. And for those who humble themselves daily before God, they will find great grace to communicate in marriage (cf. James 4:6, 10).

Conclusion

As we consider communication in marriage, we must remember God is a communicator and we are made in his image. Therefore, we are made to communicate. As we rely on God, through practicing principles in his Word, we can begin to use our communication to build our marriages instead of breaking them down. And, by his grace, we can start to realize his original plan for marriage—a union that brings glory to him and is a blessing to all.

Communication in Marriage Homework

Answer the questions, then discuss together.

1. What was new or stood out to you in this session? In what ways were you challenged or encouraged? Were there any points/thoughts that you did not agree with?

2. Peter said to dwell with your spouse according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7, KJV). What intimate knowledge about your mate have you discovered that is especially helpful when communicating? What intimate knowledge about yourself would help your mate better communicate with you? How will you continue to cultivate this intimate knowledge in the marriage relationship, especially when life becomes busy with work, kids, ministry, etc.?

3. It is very common for couples to have communication problems in part because of gender differences and gender expectations. Are there any common miscommunication patterns in your relationship that may come in part from gender differences? How does a miscommunication often begin and what are its triggers?

4. What changes can be made on your side to better navigate these miscommunications? What spiritual or practical techniques will be used to enhance communication?

5. What ways have you experienced the importance of abiding in Christ for communication? How will you protect and cultivate an abiding relationship with Christ? How will you help protect and encourage this abiding relationship in your mate?

6. Write your parents a letter, an email, or give them a call to ask questions. Ask what positive attributes you possess that will help in marriage. Ask what negative attributes you possess that might hurt your marriage and find out how you can fix them. Ask for any pointers that will aid in achieving successful communication in marriage and a successful marriage in general.

7. Write your mate’s parents a letter, an email, or call them and ask them questions. Ask what positive attributes does your mate possess that will help in marriage. Ask what negative attributes does your mate possess that might hurt your marriage and find out how you can fix them. Ask for any pointers that will aid in achieving successful communication in marriage and a successful marriage in general.

8. After completing this session, how do you feel God is calling you to pray for your marriage? Spend some time praying.

Related Topics: Marriage

The God You Can Know: The Wonderful Attributes Of Your Father God

Related Media

This Bible Study is part of the Graceful Beginnings Series of Bible studies specifically designed for anyone new to the Bible—whether you are a new Christian or you just feel insecure about understanding the Bible. The lessons are basic, introducing you to your God and His way of approaching life in simple terms that can be easily understood.

Through The God You Can Know lessons, you will become familiar with the character of God—those attributes that help you to know Him well, love Him wholeheartedly, and gain the confidence to trust Him as your Father God.

Related Topics: Basics for Christians, Character of God, Women, Women's Articles

Introduction

Related Media

The Graceful Beginnings Series of Bible studies are specifically designed for anyone new to the Bible—whether you are a new Christian or you just feel insecure about understanding the Bible. The lessons are basic, introducing the inexperienced Christian to God and His way of approaching life in simple terms that can be easily understood.

Just as a newborn baby needs to know the love and trustworthiness of her parents, the new Christian needs to know and experience the love and trustworthiness of her God. Graceful Beginnings: New Believers Guide is the first study in the series, laying a good foundation of truth for you to grasp and apply to your life. The other books in the series can be done in any order.

Some Bible Basics

Throughout these lessons, you will use a Bible to answer questions as you discover treasure about your life with Christ. The Bible is one book containing a collection of 66 books combined together for our benefit. It is divided into two main parts: the Old Testament and the New Testament.

The Old Testament tells the story of the beginning of the world and God’s promises to mankind given through the nation of Israel. It tells how the people of Israel obeyed and disobeyed God over many, many years. All the stories and messages in the Old Testament lead up to Jesus Christ’s coming to the earth.

The New Testament tells the story of Jesus Christ, the early Christians, and God’s promises to all those who believe in Jesus. You can think of the Old Testament as “before Christ” and the New Testament as “after Christ.”

Each book of the Bible is divided into chapters and verses within those chapters to make it easier to study. Bible references include the book name, chapter number and verse number(s). For example, Ephesians 2:8 refers to the New Testament book of Ephesians, the 2nd chapter, and verse 8 within that 2nd chapter. Printed Bibles have a “Table of Contents” in the front to help you locate books by page number. Bible apps also have a contents list by book and chapter.

The Bible verses highlighted in each lesson are from the New English Translation® (NET®) unless otherwise indicated. You can use any version of the Bible to answer the questions, but using a more easy-to-read translation (NET, NIV, NIRV, NLT, ESV) will help you gain confidence in understanding what you are reading. You can find all these translations in Bible apps and online.

This study capitalizes certain pronouns referring to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit—He, Him, His, Himself—just to make the reading of the study information less confusing. Some Bible translations likewise capitalize those pronouns referring to God; others do not. It is simply a matter of preference, not a requirement.

The God You Can Know

The God You Can Know lessons focus on the attributes of God—those character qualities of God that He has revealed about Himself. God’s greatness is far beyond human understanding. But, His Word does give us part of the picture. And, that picture reveals an awesome God!

An “attribute” is a quality or characteristic of someone or something. For a person, an attribute is something generally true about that person. If someone says that you are always kind, that’s an attribute of you. If someone says that you are always patient, that’s an attribute of you. Attributes describe someone so that we can know more about him or her.

The attributes of God are things we CAN know about God. They describe His character and are true about Him all the time. God has revealed these attributes about Himself so we can know who He is. By knowing who He is, we can know Him better. He is truly The God You Can Know. And, by knowing Him, we can learn to trust Him with our lives.

Trust (faith) is always an issue of credibility. It is hard to trust God if you don’t know Him. The more you know Him, the easier it is to trust Him. You don’t have more faith by talking about faith. Getting to know the object of your faith, your God, increases your confidence in Him. Knowing God’s character plus His promises gives you plenty of reasons to consider Him trustworthy. The Bible describes that confidence to be like having your feet firmly planted on solid rock—with God as your Rock. He is a trustworthy God.

“So, I am always thinking that when God reveals a particular thing about Himself, He is helping me know Him. That is the point of saying things about Himself or doing particular things in the world. He is helping me know Him, the true God, a person, so that my delight can be in Him…” (John Piper, desiringgod.org, Interview on March 8, 2016)

Trusting Your Father God

Your God is also a trustworthy Father. Jesus continually taught His disciples to consider God as their Father. This God is your Father God, too. The moment you placed your trust in Jesus Christ for your salvation, you were adopted into God’s family as His child. He is the perfect Father, the most loving Father, the most dependable Father, and the Father who cares about your every need.

The Apostle Paul, who wrote several books of the New Testament, describes it this way,

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery leading again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself bears witness to our spirit that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:14-16)

Our Father God’s love for us is deep and amazing.

See what sort of love the Father has given to us: that we should be called God’s children—and indeed we are! For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know him. (1 John 3:1

Jesus continually encouraged His followers to call God, “Father.” He taught them to pray to their Father God, whom they could trust.

… for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. So pray this way: “Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored,” (Matthew 6:8-9)

Wait a minute. What if you didn’t have such a good earthly father! Your concept of a father might be pretty scary. God knows that. But, He wants you to know that you are dearly loved by your Father God. Dearly loved.

Think of the best father in any movie or TV show. Who comes to mind? God is even better than that father. And, through these lessons, you will become familiar with the character of God—those attributes that help you to know Him well, love Him wholeheartedly, and gain the confidence to trust Him as your Father God.

At the end of each lesson, we will include three things to help you renew your mind with truth about God:

1) Bible verse to learn

This will help to renew your thinking and make Bible truth part of your life as you begin this new adventure. Memorizing Bible verses is not just something “to do.” You are planting God’s words to you in your mind. The Bible calls it “renewing your mind” with truth about who God is and who you are.

If your Bible is a different translation from the one given in The God You Can Know, feel free to memorize the verse from your Bible rather than what is given. The point is to begin a habit of memorizing Scripture. You will be surprised at how soon it just flows from your mind.

2) Response in prayer & praise

This will help you to begin regular conversation with your Father God who loves you dearly. You will be encouraged to talk to your Heavenly Father about anything and everything. Tell Him what you are thinking and feeling. He is someone you can trust.

3) Discover God the Father

You will be asked to read prayers and praises from both the Old Testament and New Testament. Spend a few minutes each day reading these prayers and reflecting on how each prayer reveals someone’s understanding of and trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

[For further study: See this excellent series of articles on the attributes of God called “Let Me See Thy Glory - A Study of the Attributes of God.”]

Overview of the Attributes of God

  • God’s SOVEREIGNTY: God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.

“How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.” (2 Samuel 7:22 NIV)

  • God’s OMNIPOTENCE, OMNIPRESENCE, & OMNISCIENCE (the Omnis): God’s power is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe. God’s presence is everywhere at the same time. God knows everything there is to know.

“You are all around me, behind me and in front of me. You hold me in your power. I’m amazed at how well you know me. It’s more than I can understand.” (Psalm 139:5-6 NIRV)

  • God’s HOLINESS: God is holy. He is set apart from anything that is sinful or evil.

“Your eyes are too pure to look on evil. You cannot tolerate wrongdoing.” (Habakkuk 1:13a NIV)

  • God’s JUSTICE: God always does what is morally right and fair.

“This was also to demonstrate his righteousness in the present time, so that he would be just and the justifier of the one who lives because of Jesus’ faithfulness.” (Romans 3:26 NET)

  • God’s GRACE: God’s grace is His undeserved favor abundantly poured out on those who desperately need Him.

“Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus.” (1 Timothy 1:14 NIRV)

  • God’s GOODNESS: God is good all the time — even in the tough times, in different ways for each person, and in what He allows or doesn’t allow into our lives.

“You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.” (Psalm 119:68 NIV)

  • God’s LOVE: God’s love is patient, kind, forgiving and considers what is best for the one being loved.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8 NIV)

  • God’s JOY: God’s joy finds great pleasure in His creation and His creatures, especially people who trust in Him.

“… The joy of the Lord makes you strong.” (Nehemiah 8:10 NIRV)

Your Father God’s love for you is deep and amazing. Bask in it!

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Lesson 1: God’s Sovereignty

Related Media

An “attribute” is a quality or characteristic of someone or something. Attributes describe someone so that we can know more about him or her. The attributes of God are things we can know about God. They are true about Him all the time. God has revealed these attributes about Himself so we can know who He is. And, by knowing Him, we can choose to trust Him with our lives.

1. What words come to mind when you think about the character of God?

2. Do you feel that He is someone you can know?

Our first attribute to explore is God’s SOVEREIGNTY.

Attribute #1: Sovereignty

“How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.” (2 Samuel 7:22 NIV)

3. How do you feel about this phrase, “God’s sovereignty?”

God is sovereign. That is a fact. He is called “Sovereign Lord” over 300 times in the Bible.

4. Read 2 Samuel 7:22. What is declared about God in this verse?

The dictionary definition of sovereign is “self-governing, independent, possessing supreme power or authority.” At the end of the word “sovereign” is the word “reign.” We say that a king “reigns.” That means he is the ruler, the one with the right to make the rules. Someone who is sovereign is the ruler, the king, and the one who has the right to make the rules.

5. Read 1 Chronicles 29:11-12. What do these verses state about God?

6. Read Deuteronomy 10:14-17. What or who is under God’s sovereignty?

7. Read 1 Samuel 2:6-8. What or who is under God’s sovereignty?

8. Read Psalm 50:10-11. What or who is under God’s sovereignty?

9. As you consider the sovereignty of God from these above verses, what do you think could stop God’s plans from being carried out in your life or in the life of someone you love?

Nothing can stop God. He will accomplish anything and everything in our lives for our good.

10. Read Exodus 20:11. About 2 million people heard God speak those words to them. What gives God the right to be king over everything?

God Himself told us in many places in the Bible that He created everything. God is sovereign—the king—over the universe, over the earth, over all the creatures on the earth, and over every human being. If you create something, do you have the right to make the rules concerning how your creation should live and work? God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.

If God is the sovereign ruler of His creation, that means He is the sovereign ruler of you. Yet, adding together God’s sovereignty with His great love expressed through the gift of His Son Jesus should give you great security and confidence.

11. If you believed and continually remembered this truth that your God is sovereign, how might that influence your life?

We need to think of Him as our sovereign king and be willing to respect Him and obey Him. We can trust His care for His creation, including us. Our God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.

12. Though God is the sovereign ruler, He invites you to come to Him with your needs. Are you willing to recognize God’s authority over you—to trust that He knows what is best for you?

Trusting Your Father God

1) Bible verse to learn:

“How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.” (2 Samuel 7:22 NIV)

2) Response in prayer & praise:

You can go to your Father God, ruler over everything, and talk to Him about anything. When you talk to your Father God, approach Him with humility and respect for His absolute authority. Choose a heart of obedience. He is trustworthy.

3) Discover God the Father:

Spend a few minutes reading these prayers and reflecting on how each prayer reveals someone’s understanding of and trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

  • Read 1 Kings 18:16-40. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read 2 Kings 18:28-19:37. Reflect on what you read.

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Lesson 2: God’s Power, Presence, And Perception (the Omnis)

Related Media

Remember that an attribute is a word someone could use to describe you that is true all the time. Knowing your attributes will help someone to know you better. Just like that, attributes of our Father God are those descriptions of God that tell us who He is so that we can know Him better, and by knowing Him better, we can trust Him as our Father. We have a God we can know.

Lesson 1 covered God’s Sovereignty. God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power. In this lesson, we will be studying three of God’s attributes sometimes called “the Omnis.” The word omni means “all.” The attributes of God that are the Omnis are: 1) omnipotence, 2) omnipresence, and 3) omniscience. Let’s break them down and see what they mean.

“You are all around me, behind me and in front of me. You hold me in your power. I’m amazed at how well you know me. It’s more than I can understand.” (Psalm 139:5-6 NIRV)

Omnipotence

God’s Omnipotence. We know the first part “omni” means all and the second part “potence” means powerful. So, putting those two together, we get “all powerful.” Omnipotence refers to God’s power. God is all powerful—more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe.

1. Name some things or some people you think are powerful. After each one, say, “God is more powerful than that.”

You won’t read the word “omnipotence” in the Bible, but you will read many words that describe God’s power. One particular name of God refers to His omnipotence. That name is “Almighty.” God is called “the Almighty” or “Lord Almighty” 345 times in the Bible. The prophet Jeremiah in the Old Testament talked about God’s power a lot and called Him the Lord Almighty.

2. Read Jeremiah 32:17. What did Jeremiah call God at the beginning?

3. What did Jeremiah say was too hard for God, his king?

4. When you think of God’s power, what comes to your mind?

God uses His power to do many things—to create and to perform miracles like parting the Red Sea, winning battles, and healing people. Every time Jesus healed someone, that was God’s power at work. Anyone who trusts in God can experience His power.

5. Read Ephesians 1:19-20. What does Paul pray for Christians to know?

6. For whom is God’s power at work?

7. How much power does it require to make a dead man alive again?

God’s power raised Jesus, who had died on the cross, raised Him up alive and with a new body that would never die again. That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it?

8. Read Ephesians 3:20. What does Paul say about how powerful God is?

9. And, where is His power working?

God uses His power to work for us and in us. And, we can ask Him to do that in our lives.

10. Do you feel confident that you can ask Him to work in your life, and He will do it?

That’s the first omni — omnipotence, which means all powerful. God is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe.

Omnipresence

The second omni is OMNIPRESENCE, which means “all presence.” When we say that God has “all presence” we mean that God is present everywhere at the same time. There isn’t any place in the entire universe where God cannot be found. God is present everywhere at the same time.

This is so well described in Psalm 139. Psalms are songs written by those who loved God and wanted to speak or sing His praises.

11. Read Psalm 139:5-6. David, who is the psalm writer here, is talking to God as he is writing. How does he describe God’s presence with him?

12. Read Psalm 139:7-10, 18. Where can we go to get away from God?

13. Is there any place far enough away that He can’t find us? Or, can someone hide us so God can’t find us?

14. Can you go to a place where God is not with you or cannot hear you calling out to Him?

The Bible teaches that God is everywhere at the same time. God is near you as you go about your daily schedule, whether to work, school, stores, or home. God is near you at each place. God is with you everywhere. In fact, wherever you go…He is already there! Even in the worst situation or location, you might not get a cell signal, but God is not blocked out! Ever!

15. How does that give you comfort?

16. When are some times that you need to remember that God is always wherever you are?

David, in his psalm, reminded himself that God was not only there but that His hand would be holding him close. And, he declares that God is still there with him even while he is sleeping. Next time you are scared or hurt or in life’s dark places, remember that God is with you right then. Picture Him holding your hand and gain comfort from that.

So, the second omni is omnipresence, which means all presence. God is present everywhere at the same time.

Omniscience

The third omni is omniscience. It’s spelled omni-science. So, it does mean God knows everything there is to know about science. But, it’s more than that. Our word “science” comes from an old Latin word that means “to know” or “knowing.” So, when we talk about God’s omniscience, we are saying that God is “all knowing.” That means that God knows everything there is to know. [Note: the word “perception” in the lesson title means to know.]

That can really baffle our minds. But, let’s talk about how that affects you personally. David wrote about this in the same psalm we just read.

17. Read Psalm 139:1-4.

  • How many times did David use the word “know” or similar words (perceive, discern, etc.)?
  • What does God know about you?
  • Can you hide anything from God?
  • Does anything good or bad in your life escape His notice or surprise Him?

18. Read Psalm 139:6. Write this verse on a card or in your journal.

19. Knowing that God knows you well—having created you to be the special, unique person you are—how does your heart feel about that?

God knows what is going on in your life. He also knows what is going on deep in your heart. And, He knows what is best for you!

The third omni is omniscience, which means, “all knowing.” God knows everything there is to know about everything.

Three Comforting Truths

The Omnis are three truths that are characteristics of God alone. What those words mean is that God is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe, is present everywhere at the same time, and knows everything there is to know.

So, what should that mean for your life? This is the truth you need to know and remember from this lesson: God is always near you, He knows what is going on in your life, and He can do something about it. That should give you confidence to handle anything.

Think of those 3 Omnis as a chair. When you sit on a chair, you get to rest. God wants you to rest knowing that He is always near you, He knows what is going on in your life, and He can do something about it. The Bible says that you can rest on that. And, you can trust Him in whatever He chooses to do for any situation you find yourself in today, tomorrow or the next day. Can you do that?

Trusting Your Father God

1) Bible verse to learn:

“You are all around me, behind me and in front of me. You hold me in your power. I’m amazed at how well you know me. It’s more than I can understand.” (Psalm 139:5-6 NIRV)

2) Response in prayer & praise:

When you talk to your Father God, humbly realize He can do anything. And, although He cares about every detail in your life, think about how small your problems are compared with how awesome your Father God is! Ask Him to help you trust that He is always near you, that God knows what is going on in your life, and that He can do something about it. Tell Him about your deepest concern then wait and see what your Father God does.

3) Discover God the Father:

Spend a few minutes reading these prayers and reflecting on how each prayer reveals someone’s understanding of and trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

  • Read Psalm 139. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. Reflect on what you read.

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Lesson 3: God’s Holiness

Related Media

In Lessons One and Two, we learned about God’s sovereignty and His omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience (His Omnis).

  • God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.
  • God’s power is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe. God’s presence is everywhere at the same time. God knows everything there is to know.

This lesson is about God’s HOLINESS.

Attribute #3: Holiness

“Your eyes are too pure to look on evil. You cannot tolerate wrongdoing.” (Habakkuk 1:13a NIV)

1. When I say the word “holiness,” what comes to your mind?

Holiness is the state or quality of being holy. “Holy” is used more than any other word in the Bible to describe God so it must be very important. The word “holy” by itself means, “to set apart.” That means one thing is totally separated from something else. So, holiness means “to be set apart.” God is also set apart from something. In the Bible, God is called “the Holy One of Israel” and “the Holy God.” So, He is totally set apart, but from what?

The Bible teaches that our God is set apart from these:

  • Set apart from any other name. God’s name is holy. His name is set apart from any other name in the entire universe. That includes the names of other gods that people want to worship instead of the one true God.
  • Set apart from His creation. God is not like anything or anyone He has created. That includes angels and people. God is set apart from His creation.
  • Set apart from anything that is sinful or evil. In fact, this is what is stressed the most about God in the Bible. He is the most “holy,” and no one is as “holy” as He is. He is perfect.

“The word holy calls attention to all that God is. It reminds us that His love is holy love, His justice is holy justice, His mercy is holy mercy, His knowledge is holy knowledge, His spirit is holy spirit.” (R. C. Sproul, The Holiness of God, p. 57)

2. Read Habakkuk 1:13. Habakkuk lived at the time of the Babylonian invasion of Jerusalem (~600 BC). How does Habakkuk describe God at the beginning of the verse?

In God’s holiness, He cannot even look on evil or wrongdoing. It is a unique part of His character—who He is. God’s holiness sets him apart from anything that is sinful or evil.

3. If God is perfectly good all the time, what are some things that God cannot do?

4. Read James 1:13. What is something else that God will not do?

5. It is very comforting to know that our God can be trusted to be good all the time. Can human beings be perfectly good all the time?

6. Evil and wrongdoing that people do are called “sin” in the Bible. Give some examples of human sins.

When God created Adam and Eve, God designed people to have a relationship with Him. Because Adam and Eve disobeyed Him, sin entered the world. You can read about this in Genesis chapter 3. Adam and Eve became separated from the perfect fellowship they had with God. And, all people born after them were born sinners. What a bummer!

But, if human beings are sinful, this creates a problem because God is set apart from sin. That’s His holiness. He hates sin and must judge it. The Bible tells us that our sins separate us from Him. God doesn’t want us to be separated from Him forever. So He made a way to bring us back to Him. But, this meant getting rid of our sin.

God had a marvelous plan. His own Son would come to earth to be born as a baby, grow up to live as a human just like us, and die for our sins so we could be forgiven of them. That’s the wonder of Christmas. At Christmas, we celebrate God’s absolutely marvelous plan. When we trust in Jesus, He will remove our sin from us so we are no longer separated from Him. Amazing gift!

7. Read Isaiah 1:18. What is God’s promise to us?

During your school days, did you have a teacher who marked wrong answers with red ink? Red usually says, “That’s wrong. That’s not acceptable.” When God says our sins are bright red, He is saying the wrong things we do are not acceptable to a holy God.

8. What do you think the phrase “white as snow” means?

Freshly fallen snow looks so pristine, doesn’t it? Pure and clean. The phrase “white like wool” refers to freshly prepared sheep’s wool that is perfectly clean and hasn’t been dyed with any colors yet. It’s also pure and clean. That’s what God does to our sin the moment we trust in Jesus so we can get close to Him as our Father God.

And, here is the absolutely even-more-wonderful part: as we live each day as believers in Jesus, God continues to cleanse our sin from us so we can be close to Him.

We can enjoy our relationship with a holy God who loves us dearly, the kind of relationship that He created us to enjoy.

9. Read 2 Corinthians 5:21. What does God do to our sin? What do we get from Christ?

When God looks at us, He doesn’t see sin in our lives. Jesus takes away our sin. We are no longer separated from our holy God. He sees Jesus’ righteousness instead. Our sins are washed white as snow. This is called, “The Great Exchange.” Jesus takes our sin; we receive His righteousness. We can only marvel at God’s goodness to us in this gift.

10. Read 1 Peter 1:14-16. What does God desire for us?

Holiness means “to be set apart.” God desires that we would choose to live set apart from anything that is sinful or evil. Then, we would reflect His character in our own lives.

11. Read 1 Corinthians 10:13. What does God promise to us when we are tempted?

12. What confidence does knowing this give you?

Temptation to do wrong is part of life here on earth. Those temptations are not coming from God. Instead, He provides a way of escape for every temptation. That’s His promise.

God’s holiness means He is set apart from anything that is sinful or evil. God cleanses us from sin when we trust in Jesus so that we are no longer separated from Him.

Through His Spirit inside us He also helps us live as holy people, set apart from sin in our own lives.

Trusting Your Father God

1) Bible verse to learn:

“Your eyes are too pure to look on evil. You cannot tolerate wrongdoing.” (Habakkuk 1:13a NIV)

2) Response in prayer & praise:

As you approach your Father God, you can thank Him for His marvelous plan and for continuing to cleanse you of sin so you aren’t separated from Him ever again. You can trust Him to always be good to you and those you love. Reverence your Father God in your heart as the Holy One. Grasping His holiness will lead you to desire to be like Him in hating and avoiding evil. You can trust Him to never tempt you to do anything wrong.

3) Discover God the Father:

Spend a few minutes reading and reflecting on what Habakkuk’s prayers reveal about his understanding of and trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

  • Read Habakkuk chapter 1. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Habakkuk chapter 2. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Habakkuk chapter 3. Reflect on what you read.

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Lesson 4: God’s Justice

Related Media

So far, we have learned about God’s sovereignty; His Omnipotence, Omnipresence, and Omniscience; and His holiness. Remember these truths about your Father God.

  • God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.
  • God’s power is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe. God’s presence is everywhere at the same time. God knows everything there is to know.
  • God is holy. He is set apart from anything that is sinful or evil.

God’s holiness is related to another attribute which we will study in this lesson—God’s JUSTICE.

Attribute #4: Justice

“This was also to demonstrate his righteousness in the present time, so that he would be just and the justifier of the one who lives because of Jesus’ faithfulness.” (Romans 3:26 NET)

1. When are you likely to want justice?

Justice means that someone is always concerned with two things—being right and being fair. Justice means, “always doing what is morally right and fair.” That’s how you likely want to be treated by others whenever there is a problem, isn’t it? You want them to do what is right and to be fair about it.

Our God always acts with justice. It is the natural expression of His holiness. Remember we said that God’s holiness always sets Him apart from anything that is sinful or evil. The Bible says that God hates sin and has declared that sin is wrong and must be punished by death.

The apostle Paul wrote about God’s justice in the book of Romans.

2. Read Romans 3:23. What does this verse declare about all people?

3. Read Romans 5:12. What happened to all people because of sin?

Since everyone has sinned, everyone is declared guilty of sin by God’s justice. He’s being right and fair. And, each guilty person must pay a penalty. The Bible says the penalty for sin is death. That’s God’s justice. God’s justice always does what is morally right and fair. It’s fair for God to say anyone who sins must be declared guilty and pay a penalty.

In our society, whenever a person is declared guilty of committing a crime, they have to pay the penalty for what they did wrong. They usually go to prison and are held captive in prison until the penalty is paid—maybe 3 months or 2 years, sometimes 20 years or more.

In the Old Testament, God decided that certain animals would die to pay the penalty for the sins of His people. By the deaths of those animals, called sacrifices, the people would be set free from being guilty for a little while, until the people did bad things again. But, this was only a temporary plan.

God had a better plan. He loves people so much that He came to earth Himself as a man named Jesus who lived a perfect life and died on the cross as the sacrifice for our sins. Jesus paid the penalty for sin that God’s justice demands. Jesus paid this penalty for us so that we would not have to do it nor would any animals ever have to do it again!

Paul describes it beautifully in Romans 3.

4. Read Romans 3:24-26. How is God’s justice satisfied?

God’s justice is right and fair. The NIRV translation of verse 26 clearly describes this:

“God did that to prove in our own time that he is fair. He proved that he is right. He also made right with himself those who believe in Jesus. (Romans 3:26 NIRV)

Jesus paid the penalty for every wrong thing that anyone has ever done or will do in the future. God’s justice is satisfied. So, God can declare that anyone who trusts in Jesus is “set free” from having to pay the penalty for their sin. Everyone who trusts in Jesus is free from being held captive by his or her sins.

What a great deal! Being set free is a great thing. God’s justice sets free everyone who trusts that His Son Jesus Christ paid the penalty for their sins. God can do that because the penalty has been paid for all time. When you trust in Jesus you receive complete forgiveness for ALL of your sins. This sets you free from being afraid of God.

Isn’t it easier to not be afraid of God if you know that He forgives you for all the bad things you do? Instead, you can be confident that God loves you dearly.

5. Have you lived in fear of God, being afraid of Him?

6. How does the truth that you are set free from being afraid of God make you feel now?

And, if you aren’t afraid of God, you are set free to love Him back with your whole heart. Isn’t that true? It’s easier to love someone that you know loves you! You are also set free to do what is morally right and fair in your own life.

7. Read Micah 6:8. God desires that we live life God’s way. How is it described in Micah?

God’s justice always does what is morally right and fair. He desires that we uphold justice in our lives as well. The New Testament writings teach us how to live life God’s way, following the example of Jesus Christ. God will enable you to live that way. He wants you to live that way. Is that something you’d like to do?

Trusting Your Father God

1) Bible verse to learn:

“This was also to demonstrate his righteousness in the present time, so that he would be just and the justifier of the one who lives because of Jesus’ faithfulness.” (Romans 3:26 NET)

2) Response in prayer & praise:

Thank Jesus for paying the penalty for your sin so that your Father God can set you free from sin’s penalty and forgive all your sins instead. Because God’s justice has set you free from the penalty of sin, you are free to love Him back with your whole heart. Have you learned to love your Father God? How do you express your love for Him? Also, ask your Father God to show you how to do for others what is right and fair just like your God.

3) Discover God the Father:

Spend a few minutes each day reading and reflecting on how Jonah responds with trust or lack of trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

  • Read Jonah chapter 1. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Jonah chapter 2. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Jonah chapter 3. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Jonah chapter 4. Reflect on what you read.

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Lesson 5: God’s Grace

Related Media

In our lessons so far, you have learned these truths about your Father God.

  • God is the sovereign ruler of His creation. He rules it with supreme authority and power.
  • God’s power is more powerful than anything or anyone else in the entire universe. God’s presence is everywhere at the same time. God knows everything there is to know.
  • God is holy. He is set apart from anything that is sinful or evil.
  • God always does what is morally right and fair.

Now, we are going to learn about God’s grace.

Attribute #5: Grace

“Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus.” (1 Timothy 1:14 NIRV)

1. What do you think “grace” means?

For Christians, “grace” is a very special word. You’ve probably heard the word but may not know what it means. Grace means “undeserved favor.” God’s grace is His undeserved favor abundantly poured out on those who desperately need Him.

You may know some girls or women named Grace or Gracie. A lot of churches have the word “grace” as part of their name. And, “Amazing Grace” is one of the most well-known songs worldwide. It’s written by a man named John Newton who understood the immensity of God’s grace in his life.

John Newton lived in England over 200 years ago. When John was a little boy, his mama taught him Bible stories and prayed that he would grow up to become a minister. Sadly, when he was only 6, his mama died. Poor John! His father was a ship captain who would be gone for months or years at a time. His new stepmother didn’t want him and ignored him. So, John was lonely and angry. He started acting very badly. It looked like he forgot everything his mama taught him.

One night, John was kidnapped. He tried to escape but some men dragged him onto one of England’s war ships, threw him into a dark hole, and forced him to work on the ship. That made him angrier. He refused to follow the captain’s orders so he was often whipped and put in chains. His bad attitude and bad language were worse than that of the other sailors. And, John made fun of anyone who believed in God. He thought that life had treated him badly, so John decided to be cruel to others.

John Newton got his own ship and became a slave trader. A slave is forced to work for someone else without pay, against her will, often in chains, without any freedoms at all. John Newton kidnapped African people, chained them in his ship, and sailed them to North America to be sold as slaves. The bad boy became a bad man, didn’t he?

Then, one day, a violent storm began to rip his ship apart. John felt helpless and very afraid because he couldn’t swim. Suddenly, he remembered Bible verses his mama had taught him. John cried out to God, “Lord, have mercy on us!” But, then he thought, “What mercy can there be for a wretch like me?” A wretch is a wicked, unhappy person. John told God he was sorry for turning away from Him and for doing so much wrong. The storm ended, and John’s life was spared. He knew it was God’s doing!

So, John found a Bible and read how Jesus could forgive him for all the bad things he did. John Newton trusted in Jesus to forgive him. Over time, he stopped using bad words, stopped being angry all the time, and stopped being a slave trader. In fact, he joined others who fought against the slave trade in England. Before he died, it was outlawed. That was great news for John.

Remember that his mother prayed for him to become a minister. God answered that prayer with a, “Yes.” John became the pastor of several churches, traveled around England telling how God saved a wretch like him, and wrote lots of songs including “Amazing Grace.”

As stated at the beginning of this lesson, the word “grace” means “undeserved favor.” In the Bible, grace is God giving favor to someone, not because they are good enough to deserve it but because His love chooses to do so.

Did John Newton deserve God’s favor? No. He even called himself a wretch—a wicked, unhappy person. Yet, when he trusted Jesus, God’s grace saved John from death, completely forgave him for all his sins, and gave him a brand-new life.

His story is much like the prodigal son in the Bible. Jesus told the story of a family with 2 sons. The younger son told his dad one day that he wanted to take his share of the family money and go away to see the world rather than stay home and help his dad run the farm. So, he did. But, he was very reckless with his money and spent it all while doing bad things—like John Newton did when he was away from home.

Anyway, this younger son got a job feeding pigs, but even that wasn’t enough for him to buy food to take care of himself. He was miserable. So, he decided to go back home and ask his dad to let him be a servant. What do you think his father did? Was he angry with him for leaving in the first place and spending all his money? Or, was he happy to see his young son again? Let’s find out.

2. Read Luke 15:11-24.

  • Focusing on verse 20, what was the father doing?
  • What actions did he take when he saw his boy coming home?
  • Did his dad have just a little bit of love for his boy or a lot of love?
  • Why did the father celebrate?

Wow! Did you expect that? The prodigal son didn’t deserve his father’s favor. He had done some bad things. But, his dad was looking for him to come home. That is a picture of God’s grace. The Bible says that God’s grace is so abundant it’s like a cup overflowing.

3. Read 1 Timothy 1:13-14.

  • How does Paul describe his own worthiness?
  • How does Paul describe God’s grace?
  • What do you picture in your mind when you think of something being poured out abundantly?

Paul, the writer of the letter, was describing himself, but doesn’t it also describe John Newton and what God did for him? No longer was John the bad man, the slave trader. Now, he was John, the beloved child of God, the one who taught many people about Jesus and wrote songs to praise Him like “Amazing Grace.”

That song has become one of the favorite songs of all time. When John Newton was writing the song, he remembered that terrible storm and how wonderful it was to be right with God at last. He praised God for His grace. This is what he wrote:

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!

Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

4. When he wrote “the hour I first believed,” when was that?

He was thinking of that time when he was so afraid, wasn’t he? None of us deserve God’s favor because we all do bad things called sin.

Remember how that prodigal son’s father was so filled with love he was ready to forgive his son for all the bad things he did and welcome him home? That’s how Father God welcomed John Newton home to Him. That’s how your Father God welcomed you when you trusted in Jesus.

God’s grace is His undeserved favor abundantly poured out on those who desperately need him. His grace overflows to you every single day. You are completely forgiven and covered in God’s grace. God gives His favor to someone not because they are good enough to deserve it but because His love chooses to do so. We all receive it when we trust in Jesus. Isn’t God’s grace amazing!

Trusting Your Father God

1) Bible verse to learn:

“Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus.” (1 Timothy 1:14 NIRV)

2) Response in prayer & praise:

Reread 1 Timothy 1:13-14. Make these verses personal. Replace Paul’s experience with your own experience. Use any creative means to express gratitude for God’s amazing grace toward you—drawing, painting, prose, poetry, song, or prayer. An extra page is added at the end of this lesson for you. This is your praise to God today.

3) Discover God the Father:

Spend a few minutes each day reading these prayers and reflecting on how each prayer reveals someone’s understanding of and trust in God. Get to know Him well—this One who loves you dearly.

  • Read Psalm 103. Reflect on what you read.
  • Read Psalm 116. Reflect on what you read.

Related Topics: Character of God, Women's Articles

Pages