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Q. As a pastor in my country, with an opportunity to move to the USA, should I do it? And would I be able to still do God’s work there?

Sir am pastor here in Nigeria, I have two sisters in USA, and they want to help me to relocate to USA. Sir is that decision right for me? And is it possible to do the work of God over there?

Thanks sir, I will be expecting your reply

Answer

Dear Pastor,

The first thing that comes to my mind is this text in 1 Corinthians 7:

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called. 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 (NKJV)

In this text Paul encourages Christians to be content with the circumstances they were in at the time of their conversion to trusting in Christ alone. This becomes the context from which you may live out Christ to those you know. This is the context in which the change Christ is producing in you will be most evident to others, who have known you before. There are exceptions, of course, such as slaves having the opportunity to obtain their freedom (and thus a broader context for ministry). And then there are lifestyles which should be left behind. For example, a criminal who comes to trust in Christ is going to have to find a new form of employment.

Serving as an elder for many years, I have observed many students who have come to Dallas from abroad to obtain further training. At the beginning, they plan to return to their home country, but in the end, the vast majority will choose to stay in the USA if the opportunity presents itself. Instead of sending folks back home to minister among their own people, we have to send foreign missionaries.

Because of this, it is very important for you to consider the real reasons why you would wish to come to the USA. For example, many are encouraged to come to the USA by family members who have come here before them. In such cases, I would encourage those urged to come by family members to consider the words of our Lord:

25 Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. 27 “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:25-27 (NASB)

One of the great attractions of our country (which are really temptations) is to have the opportunity to pursue the prosperity and ease of the good life which so many have here. Our Lord has words to consider here as well:

3 If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, 5and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. 6 But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. 7 For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. 8 If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 11 But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:3-11 (NASB)

18 “And others are the ones on whom seed was sown among the thorns; these are the ones who have heard the word, 19 but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. Mark 4:18-19 (NASB)

Paul says the same things:

10 for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. 2 Timothy 4:10 (NASB)

1 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:1-5 (NASB)

And so the writer to the Hebrews:

13 All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14 For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. 15 And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13-16 (NASB)

24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 25 choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, 26 considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward. Hebrews 11:24-26 (NASB)

Strive faithfully, and persevere, so that you can say these words:

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 8 in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NASB)

And so that you may hear these words from our Lord:

19 ”Now after a long time the master of those slaves *came and *settled accounts with them. 20 “The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.’ 21 ”His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’ Matthew 25:19-21 (NASB)

One final observation. God has uniquely made you (Psalm 139:13-16) and gifted you with a unique combination of spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4-7) to minister to the body of Christ. He has also brought you up in a certain culture, and knowing a particular language. Given all these unique equippings, where would it seem that you could most effectively serve our Lord and His church?

Blessings,
Bob Deffinbaugh

ps. This series on the Work of the Ministry might also have some helpful thoughts related to these issues.

Q. Can I control myself from fear of death and the panic attacks I am experiencing?

Hello, this happens to me a lot where I get a sort of panic attack. And I am scared that death is like sleeping where you don't know that you are there, and I want to know if it's like living on earth. Can I see things? Can I control my self? Please let me know soon. By the way, I am a sophomore in highschool.

Answer

Dear *****,

Your struggles and your question are very important. It is good that you have reached out to find answers.

It is possible that I have not understood your situation and your question, but as I read what you have written it seems to me that you are dealing with a fear of death. This is not unusual. Notice what the writer to the Hebrews has written:

14 Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. 16 For assuredly He does not give help to angels, but He gives help to the descendant of Abraham. 17 Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18 For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted (Hebrews 2:14-18).

There is a healthy fear of death, and it comes because sin entered the world with Adam and Eve. God said that disobedience to His command (not to eat of the forbidden fruit – Genesis 2/3) would result in death:

15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. 16 The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die." Genesis 2:15-17

Adam and Eve’s disobedience resulted in death for the whole human race, and this is a sentence we all deserve because of our own sin:

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

The bad news is that when we die it is not all over for us. We will all be raised from the dead by the Lord Jesus Christ and all will stand in judgment before Him:

27 And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment (Hebrews 9:27).

11 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who sat upon it, from whose presence earth and heaven fled away, and no place was found for them. 12 And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds. 13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds (Revelation 20:11-13).

Overall, this is pretty grim news, especially for those who choose suicide as an escape from their sufferings, because death is followed by judgment.

Here’s the good news: God took the death sentence, the curse, and made it the cure through the work of His Son, Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus came to earth as a man (fully God and fully human -- see Philippians 2:5-11). He lived a sinless life (John 8:46) and though personally sinless, took our sins upon himself, and died on the cross of Calvary, in our place. All who believe in Him have the forgiveness of sins. Those who accept Christ’s sacrifice for them no longer need to fear death, but are assured of eternal life. Indeed, they look forward to fellowship with God for all eternity:

21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:21).

10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:9-14).

51 Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. 55 “O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; 57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord (1 Corinthians 15:51-58).

1 For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, 3 inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. 4 For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. 5 Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. 6 Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord— 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight— 8 we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:1-8).

21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. 23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; 24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake (Philippians 1:21-24).

My sense from reading your email, Ryan, is that death (or perhaps more accurately your fear of death) is at the root of your fear of falling asleep. I don’t think you can “control” this fear, it must be taken away by faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus on your behalf. Once this issue – the greatest issue of your life – is settled, the fear and panic will be gone.

8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety (Psalm 4:8).

I hope this helps.

Bob Deffinbaugh

Related Topics: Soteriology (Salvation)

Lesson 4: Romans 7:1-25

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Walk for the Cure - Have you ever walked this?

Paul would really like this walk. He’d be there, along with cheering, also he’d be preaching: said “walk for the cure” of cancer is commendable, but you who are Christians = really need to “walk for the cure” of sin, “walk in the Spirit” that’s the only real cure. Talk about this today and next week.

Remember the megathemes in Romes: CHART - sin, salvation, sanctification (growth, maturity, living the X life).

Outline

I. Died to the Law Romans 7:1-6

A. Authority

B. Analogy

C. Application

II. Doomed by the Law Romans 7:7-13

A. Reveals

B. Revives

C. Results in death

D. Righteousness

III. Defeated by the Law Romans 7:14-25

IV. Delivered by the Spirit Romans 8:1-4

I. Died To The Law - Romans 7:1-6

A. Authority Of Law - Romans 7:1

Underlying question to this chapter that is still bothering some of you Jews, “Is the believer under the law?” Already told you Romans 6:14 fuller explanation. Jewish legalism in the church, book of Acts is filled w/episodes where some Jews insisted the road to faith in Christ led through Judaism. To be a true Christian faith plus circumcision, keep Mosaic law, traditions. Paul always resisted trying to mix faith and law. As he writes to Roman believers, aware that legalism was a potential if not actual problem. In expounding the truth that believers have been freed from bondage to the Law through union w/Christ, his basic point is that the LAW is operative only for those who are alive; DEATH nullifies the effect of law, obviously law can have no authority over a dead person. Illustrate his point…

B. Analogy Of Marriage - Romans 7:2, 3

According to law, a woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. If during his lifetime she has a sexual relationship w/another man, the Law of marriage condemns her as an adulteress, broken the law. But if her husband dies she is no longer bound by the Law of marriage, free to marry another.

C. Application To Us - Romans 7:4-6

This is you, applies to our union with Christ. Remember Paul has already said, thru faith we are united with Christ (Romans 6:3-5), potentially dead to sin (Romans 6:11-13). Now Paul says, we died to the Law. Just as death breaks bond between a husband/wife, so our identification with Christ’s death breaks the bond that yoked us to the law. We’ve been released from our marital union with Law and entered into a new marriage with Christ, share his name, His power, experiences, position, glory, eternal relationship. WHY has he saved us? READ Romans 7:4 bear fruit for God, not fruit that perishes, embarrassed about, but fruit that is good and pleasing to God. Speaks to our motives. We used to keep a code of rules to try to gain God’s approval, NOW that we have experienced His love, assured of His acceptance of us in Christ, we want to thank Him, show Him our love, “walk in newness of life” Romans 6:4 and serve God in the “new way of the Spirit” Romans 7:6. Have you ever really stopped and thought about your motivations? Why you do the things you do? Why do you serve at your kid’s school? Is it to minister kindness and love or so that the principal will favor your child? Why do you work in the nursery at church? To pay your dues, or to show God’s unconditional love and model what the church should be for all, even the little ones? What’s your motivation when you go to work, get through the day, or do you see yourself on the mission field, as one who carries God’s love to the world? Paul says, you’ve been released from an old way of thinking/doing to be free to love and serve God in a brand new way. Truth: because we are no longer under the authority of the law, died to it, united to Christ, the motivation of our obligations should be radically different. Our obedience to God is not like a slave fearing a master, but bride lovingly pleasing her husband. Motivated to serve God, because we love.

II. Doomed By The Law - Romans 7:7-13

Paul has said through Christ’s death we are dead to sin and the Law. Does that mean the Law and Sin are the same thing? Is the Law sinful. NO. Here through the rest of the chapter we have an intimate look at the apostle Paul, picture of his spiritual autobiography. See his perspective and his own personal experience with sin. Now this section Romans 7:7-13 verbs are past tense. Caused some to believe these verses refer to Paul’s life before Christ. 4 things Paul wants us to know:

A. Reveal Sin - Romans 7:7

Law is not sin, law exposes sin, defines sin. Game of Tennis. Imagine you have never played, don’t know the rules, volley back/forth, you let the ball bounce more than once before returning it. No problem, no rules. Tennis pro shows us. Explains the game. Only allow ball to bounce once-bounces twice=fault. Learn the rules, there are rules that define the game, what is allowed, what is not allowed Law is like that, the law defines what God says sin is. Interesting to note the wisdom of Paul to choose the 10th commandment to illustrate his point. Differs from the other nine in that it is an inward attitude not an outward action. Insidious sin that most people never see but God’s law reveals it to our hearts. Sin of the rich young ruler Mark 10:17-27. Young man, outwardly very moral but never had faced the sin in his heart. True, never committed adultery, robbed, never given false witness, or dishonored parents, but what about covetousness? When Jesus told him to sell his goods, and give to the poor, follow Him, he went away, in great sorrow. Why? Most likely very attached to his possessions, in heart he coveted his stuff. The commandment “Thou shalt not covet” revealed his sin.

B. Revives Sin - Romans 7:8, 9

Before the law came I had freedom from an accusing conscience, false peace, law changed that. Showed me there is something in my human nature that wants to rebel whenever a law is given. Think about kids, tell a child you can jump on the trampoline outside but not on the couch, where do they want to jump? Can’t have a cookie until after dinner, but you can have a carrot, what do they want? The sign says “wet paint, don’t touch” Hermitage in St Pete, only Michaelangelo statue in museum roped off, man touches it…don’t touch makes me want to touch, roped off pews

C. Results In Death - Romans 7:10-11

Law cannot give life, it can only show a person that they are guilty and condemned not by the commandment but by sin. READ Romans 7:11. Sin deceived me=that’s sin’s greatest power it deceives us. We’re fooled into thinking we have life under control, when in fact it’s sin that controls us. Three ways sin deceives:

1. find satisfaction. No one ever took/did something forbidden w/out thinking this will make me happy, then to find that misery followed behind. ie friend affair, read Anna Karenina Tolstoy. 2. Excuse our sins. When sin deceives someone, endless excuses and defenses for doing the wrong thing - the one that tears my heart out is when someone says, “well God wants me to be happy, right?” as the justification for sin. Reality is God is more interested in our holiness than our happiness. You can’t use God as an excuse for sin. 3. Believe we will escape the consequences of sin. No one sins without the hope of getting away with it. Numbers 32:23 - Be sure your sins will find you out. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.

D. Righteous - Romans 7:12, 13

Truth: The Law of God is righteous, revealing our sin, desperate need for God’s grace to help change us.

Application: As you have studied Romans, has God revealed a sin in your life that you need to confess and put away? Has God’s Word pointed out something that makes you feel unsettled, not right? Maybe it’s the first time you really see half-truths as really whole lies? Your critical spirit is really just sin. Offering help is really Manipulation: taking control where God says hands off, let me. I don’t know your sin, we’ve all got areas God is working on in us, what have you seen that needs God’s grace and forgiveness. Process of maturing, growing up in faith = seeing sin, confessing, asking for God’s help. We are never going to be sinless, but the time between seeing our sin and our confession hopefully gets shorter because we are listening to the Holy Spirit convict us, learning what God’s word says is sin, deliberating asking Him to help remove it from our lives.

III. Defeated By The Law - Romans 7:14-25

Paul now switches to present tense verbs. Perhaps this is a key to understanding the timing, the when. Before salvation, after? I wonder how you answered the challenge question this week. Who is Paul describing in these verses? I hope you had a chance to read the article, at least the conclusion. Debated for centuries. The best I understand: Paul is describing the life of a Christian ANYTIME when SELF is in control. Anytime when self is trying to be good, do the right thing, stop bad habit, anytime when you’re working in your own energy. Result: you will most likely lose the struggle with sin.

PAUL saying “Let me tell you about my own personal experiences, what happens when I try to live the Christian life on my own determination, willpower, my own strength.” READ the Message :

I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it! I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decided not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decided to do good, sin is there to trip me up.

Application: Can you relate to that? Sure you can, we all can.

Paul is outlining the scenario that is familiar to all Christians. We know the right thing to do, but find ourselves failing to do it, in fact we do the opposite. WHY? Explanation is simple, yet, profound. There dwells in us, in our flesh, a sin principle, a law of sin, persistent tendency toward sin (17.18.21) sin nature. as a Christian, we have something within that wants to do good, agrees w/law, says “Do right” at the same time there’s something inside us that rises up and says “no” even when our determination is to do right, given a set of circumstances, our determination melts away, our willpower is gone, we end up doing exactly what we don’t want to do.

This totally frustrates and stresses us out. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me?

Application: Is there anyone feeling that way right now?

Paul does not leave us hanging - Romans 7:25. Thanks for what? For the wretchedness, frustration? What’s he referring to? Thanks for the truth he is leading us into in Chapter 8: Only God can deliver us from our struggles with sin. Put it another way, we cannot handle the struggle with sin on our own. Our Christian life must be defined as “God dependent, not self-dependent”. Paul says, I need help to live this new life…God is there, Jesus Christ our Lord.

IV. Delivered By The Spirit - Romans 8:1-4

These verses actually answer his question in Romans 7:24. Conclusion of his argument in 7. He has told us that the key to overcoming this struggle with sin is seeing Jesus as Lord of our lives. What does that mean? Dictionary defines “lord” as one who has power, authority over another. When the Bible says Jesus is our Lord = He came not only to save us, Savior, but also He is the Lord, authority, ruler over those who trust Him. So for Paul, this meant that Jesus was in charge of every aspect of his life, that is the solution to the dilemma in chapter 7. But how does that work out in every day life? Chapter 8.

Truth: We see Jesus as our Lord to the extent we recognize and accept the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

You don’t have to feel “condemned.” READ Romans 8:1. Therefore, because Jesus is Lord. We do not have to feel put down or insecure in our spiritual struggles. There is no sin that you’ve ever committed or ever will commit that will put you back under God’s wrath. You may feel guilty from time to time, probably the Spirit convicting you of some sin you’ve committed, like gossip about a neighbor, angry yell at kids, bad mood spills over to hurting others, you need to confess that. But you should never feel shame from God, no condemnation. Those kind of feelings are not from God, scripture tells us that is the mark of the evil one, trying to make us feel unloved by God. Don’t listen to that.

You don’t have to feel “trapped” in chapter 7. READ Romans 8:2 - NO condemnation BECAUSE…You have been “set free” from the prison cell of sin and death. Now you can walk back into that tiny cell, but the Spirit of God will keep trying to tell you, you’re free, you’re free to live the new life in Christ.

You don’t have to live in chapter 7 “according to the sinful nature”. READ Romans 8:3-4. Jesus became the “sin offering” for us so that we have eternal life with God but also so that we have power to live this life radically different. This what Paul calls living according to the Spirit…controlled by the Spirit, walking in the Spirit.

Application: Do you know what that means? The walk in the Spirit? Can you describe that? Have you experienced that?

Ie. Church in Richardson. In 1972, married 4 years, never gone to church, invited by husband’s boss, Sunday brunch, after a couple weeks, visit Sunday School class, women separate from men, small church 80, pastor 28-30 year old seminary student, old (anyone 10 years older than you is old) wife taught the women, sitting in circle, someone shared “the Holy Spirit impressed me to” …didn’t really hear the rest, someone else said “I asked the Holy Spirit to help me …” again all I hear was the Holy Spirit. That day after church, thinking and told my husband, “I think we’re in a cult”- it says “Hillcrest Baptist” – I grew up in the church, all the time, I tuned out a lot, never heard the Holy Spirit spoken of as a person who is involved in your life, I heard about don’t sin and do your Christian duty, we sang the doxology “In the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.” I knew about the Trinity, but had no idea of how important the Holy Spirit is in living the Christian life. I had no clue. Wonder do you?

Walking in the Spirit is intentionally allowing the Spirit of God, Holy Spirit to live His life through you. Colossians 1:27 - To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

John 14:16 - Jesus said when I leave you I will send a Comforter, the Holy Spirit, who will be with you and in you, He indwells believers. He is the one that has the power to overcome the struggles of Chapter 7 - we, alone, ourselves without His help, we never will. Walking in the Spirit, coming face to face with overcoming a sin, or fulfilling one of Jesus’ commands, saying I can’t do this, done, I can’t, BUT you can… Holy Spirit live through me the life of Jesus, help me now.

I.e., Corrie Ten Boom

Homework questions are available in the student study guide which may be downloaded from the "Related Media" box on the series home page: bible.org/series/romans-embracing-and-living-out-gospel-grace

Related Topics: Curriculum, Women

Lesson 5: Romans 8

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How good are you at remembering American History? If it happened in my lifetime= pretty good. All remember President FDR, he made a speech before Congress 11 months before Pearl Harbor in Jan 1941. Our nation was unsettled, concerned about the war in Europe, much has been forgotten but part of that speech lives on because it speaks to the core of what it means to be an American. READ speech.

In Romans 8 Paul also makes a Declaration of Freedom, spiritual freedom through the Holy Spirit. He also speaks of 4 freedoms that we who are believers are to enjoy right now. Review last week chapter 7 struggle to live the Christian life - Romans 7:24 “Who will set me free?” Answer we saw in 8:2 “through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free”. Holy Spirit frees us, gives us the power to really live for God. Review: been studying 3 weeks doctrine of sanctification: maturing in our faith, this is the culminating chapter.

Outline:

I. Freedom from Judgment Romans 8:1-4

II. Freedom from Defeat Romans 8:5-17

III. Freedom from Discouragement Romans 8:18-30

IV. Freedom from Fear Romans 8:31-39

I. Freedom From Judgment - Romans 8:1-4

A. Law cannot condemn us - Romans 8:1. One of Paul’s favorite expressions = “in Christ”, writes this in all his epistles, it means we have a new position, new sphere of living.

B. Law cannot control us (Romans 8:2). “Free from that cycle of sin and death” Romans 7:25 because Jesus gave himself willingly as a “sin offering” requirements of the law are met.

Truth: In Christ Jesus we are eternally Free from Judgment of our sins.

We have been declared right-with-God thru faith in Jesus Christ, God has wiped our slate clean. Scriptures teach one day God will judge the world, anyone that has ever lived, will be judged:

Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:11-15.

Application: But for you, you who are believers, you are free from that judgment.

II. Freedom From Defeat - Romans 8:5-17

A. Power - Romans 8:5-13. Romans 7 dominated by words “I”, “my” “me”, struggle of our lives when we’re living out of our own power, hoping our self-determination will help us make good choices. That often ends up in defeat Romans 7:24 “what a wretched man I am”. By contrast, Romans 8 is characterized by the word “Spirit” 17 times - through power of the indwelling Holy Spirit that we have power to live the Christian life, not our own. That power is available to you when:

1. Holy Spirit controls your mind (Romans 8:5-9) - READ.

For Paul, there are only 2 different mind-sets, only 2 different thought patterns=they are opposites. Your mind is either controlled by the Spirit or the sinful nature. Remember Paul is talking to Christians, who have the Holy Spirit. He makes it very clear in Romans 8:9 that if you don’t have the Spirit, you’re not yet a Christian.

Note: in Scripture, sometimes the Holy Spirit is called the “Spirit of God” or “the Spirit of Christ” these different names are not to confuse our understanding of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Remember this truth about the Trinity: “although they are eternally distinct in their personal modes of being, they also share the same divine essence and will.” Stott

When you trust Christ as your Savior, Lord, (Ephesians 1:13) you were “marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance”. “Seal with Holy Spirit” = metaphor describing how God has given each believer the power of the Holy Spirit living inside enabling us to live differently than we did before. We know we can quench/grieve the Spirit to the extent that it seems we don’t even have the Spirit within us: you may be alive physically but may feel dead spiritually and that’s the reason. Paul says if you live that way, it does feels like death, you can’t please God, in fact the sinful mind is hostile to God (convicting words). The mind controlled by the Spirit is totally different: it’s life, peace, pleasing to God. The fact is you and I choose daily, hourly, even minute-by minute who will have control of our mind, starts w/our mind. Does the Holy Spirit control your mind?

2. Holy Spirit controls your body (Romans 8:10-13)

Those who are saved, evidence = Holy Spirit indwells you, because He does, your very body becomes the house, temple of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6:19, 20). Even though this mortal body is destined to die, for the believer death is not our ultimate destiny, we too have a resurrection awaiting us - by the same Holy Spirit power that rescued Christ from the grave, lives in us, will resurrect us too. Isn’t that incredibly comforting.

Illustration: most of us have TVs with remote controllers. Anyone ever fight over the controller at your house? Our youngest used to hide it so he would be the only one controlling it because whoever has the controller determines what is watched. Great metaphor for our spiritual lives. Paul says when self, the flesh, has the controller we live defeated lives. The flesh is always going to click on programs that encourage our self-absorbed, self-centered, pleasure seeking lives, things that turn us away from God, that engage our minds and our bodies in sin. However, when the Spirit has the controller, He will focus us, our minds and bodies, on what pleases God and will give us the power to turn off anything else. He gives us power: we also see He gives us a place in the family of God.

B. Place - Romans 8:14-17.

Paul says the Holy Spirit places us into the family of God 3 things about your place in the family

1. When you’re “led by the Spirit” in the family - Romans 8:14, verb=willingly led, as we yield to the Spirit, He guides us. John 16:13 - “When He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth”. Do you realize that the Holy Spirit wants to help guide you in all you do, all the decisions you make. Is there something that you’re trying to figure out on your own? Have you prayed about it? Have you asked God to lead you or do you have the controller in your own hands.

2. When you’re in the family = Loved by the Father - Romans 8:15, 16. “Abba” is the cry of a baby for his father in Aramaic, in English, “papa” “daddy”. Jesus in Gethsemane called out to God, as “Abba, Father.” Through the regeneration of the Spirit was are adopted and have an intimate relationship with God, Spirit assures us that is true.

3. When in the family = Joint heirs with Jesus. READ Romans 8:17. Two-fold meaning: we expect sufferings now but we anticipate glory later.

Truth: Life controlled by the Holy Spirit provides Freedom from Defeat.

We get defeated when we feel like a failure before God. Chapter 7 = Feel like we have “blown it, let Him down” Those times Paul says remember you have the Spirit of God living in you (if you are a Christian), Let Him control your life, give it up. Application: I don’t know if anyone here feels defeated spiritually? But if you do, start by looking at who has the controller of your life? If “self” then hand it over to the Spirit, get free.

III. Freedom From Discouragement - Romans 8:18-30

Just as we get defeated when we feel like a failure, God knows we get discouraged when we don’t have Hope: when we don’t see purpose or meaning in our lives. What often opens the door to discouragement is pain and suffering. Paul says “look, I know you all are going to have pain and tough times, it’s part of living life on fallen planet earth, living life as a believer in a hostile world, but it’s going to be worth it all when we see Jesus.

Truth: What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later (Romans 8:18 Living Bible). Our problems now are real but they pale in comparison to what awaits us.

When we come into the presence of God we will experience such joy, such happiness that will far exceed these temporary troubles, “groanings”, yearnings we have now awaiting Christ’s return. Until then:

1. Creation groans (Romans 8:18-22) When God finished His creation Genesis 1:31 “it was good” but today it groans. Now, there is suffering, decay and pain throughout our world. Our world longs for redemption.

2. Christians groan (Romans 8:23-25) Now, we are awaiting our full inheritance, our new bodies, when we see God face to face, we long for redemption. That is our “blessed hope”. That is ultimately why we have freedom from discouragement = because we have an eternal hope.

3. Holy Spirit groans (Romans 8:26-27) He groans as He prays for us, knowing we don’t always know what is best, He intercedes for us, praying that we might be led into the Will of God. We’ve all experienced times when pain, suffering, loss, burdens of life overwhelm us, we don’t have the energy or wisdom to know how to pray, what a comfort to know the Spirit is interceding for us.

There is a longing for redemption, time when we are with God, universe is re-created, thinking about this future picture can give us perspective on our present sufferings.

1. Suffering is temporary.

We look around at the process of death, dying and know that this is not the way God planned it to be. Beautiful flowers fade away. See depletion of natural resources, but Scripture says “one day creation itself will be liberated from bondage to decay (Romans 8:21).

One day everything that was ever created, except fallen angels and rebellious people, will fulfill God’s intended purpose. Revelation 21:4 - God himself will wipe away all tears, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor pain, all of that is gone fore.

2. Suffering is a consequence (Romans 8:20a) Creation didn’t ask for suffering, subjected to futility, it came as a result of man’s sin. One of the consequences of Adam’s sin was the cursing of the ground. Suffering is a consequence. Ask “what about the bad things that happen to good people?” Tough theological question= Frances Shaeffer had a simple answer “we live in a fallen world”. We all have been affected by the tragedy of sin by being born here. This is not heaven, this is not shalom. You may say “that’s not fair” you’re right, this life is not always fair. Teach children.

3. Suffering is universal (Romans 8:22). Sometimes we forget that everyone suffers, wrapped up in our own “stuff” and fail to see that everyone suffers at some time in their lives, part of the human experience, though it differs, it is universal. I Corinthians 10:13.

4. Suffering is purposeful (Romans 8:28-30) Review:

Paul has been comparing our present suffering with the future glory. Living for Christ is going to be worth it all. Everything that was ever created is longing for that day.

Takes a breath and says, now let’s look at your life, I know you’ve been suffering too listen - READ Romans 8:28-30. Conditional Promise = only for Christians, not true for others. Promise for us to claim, incorporate into our minds, base our life responses on. We “know” Greek term refers to the possession of absolute unshakable confidence. “In all things God works for the good”…Lord uses everything that enters our lives to work together for good, we can’t call all things “good” some things are bad, but God will take those things, good and bad and works all things for our good. Many times we face suffering and we can’t see how this could ever be good, just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean God is without good reason, or He has lost control. I Corinthians 13:12 we see “in a mirror dimly” only “know in part” what God is doing in our lives. Ultimately we know He is working to make us look like His Son= that is “good” and it also helps us understand Romans 8:29,30. God’s plan for us will succeed. It started in eternity past when He chose us in Christ (Ephesians 1:4,5). He predetermined one day that we would be like Christ. He called us and when we responded He justified us and also glorified us.

Truth: We experience Freedom from Discouragement when we preserve in hope, pray with the Spirit’s help and trust in the purposes of God.

Illustration: Joseph=beloved son, hated by his brothers because of favoritism. Sold him into slavery, forgot about him. God never abandoned him. During 12-15 bondage, he was misjudged, imprisoned, betrayed but God was using all this to build character, strength. Eventually made Prime Minister in charge of famine relief, one day Famine finally reached Canaan, his father’s household. Brothers sent to buy food, when Joseph could no longer stand it, he revealed himself to them, father brought to Egypt and great family reunion. Then dad died, buried. Brothers began to fear that Joseph was holding a grudge against them, pay them back, sent a message begged for forgiveness. READ Genesis 50:19-21. God was working all things for good.

Application: we are the rest of the story. We can replace Joseph’s name w/ours, replace his specific suffering w/ours. Truth is the same, even when we are mistreated, misunderstood, hurt, we can be assured, God is working all things for our good.

Is that the way you’ve been looking at your life? Are you free from disappointment because you are trusting God?

IV. Freedom From Fear - Romans 8:31-39

Seems that Paul is addressing something we all have probably thought of at one time or another. Fear that we may lose God’s love, that we may do something so awful, so bad that He will stop loving us. We’ve all grown up on fallen planet earth and most of us have felt the loss of love, by a parent, friend, child or a spouse. Wonder if they could stop loving me, could God do that too? Are we really secure in our relationship with God? Paul gives us 5 arguments that prove NOTHING can separate us from God.

1. God is for us (Romans 8:31). Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.

2. Christ died for us (Romans 8:32). God gave his only Son, his very best for us, will He not give us all we need? Jesus says this same thing when He tried to convince the people not to worry or fear, God cares for the birds, sheep, lilies, surely He will take care of you.

3. God has forgiven us (Romans 8:33) - declared us righteous in Christ, although Satan would like to accuse us, we are in Christ.

4. Christ intercedes for us (Romans 8:34) - both the Spirit and the Son praying for us

5. Christ loves us (Romans 8:35-39) - Nothing can ever separate us from His love. READ Romans 8:38, 39.

Truth: God’s eternal love provides us Freedom from Fear. This week will you live free?

Homework questions are available in the student study guide which may be downloaded from the "Related Media" box on the series home page: bible.org/series/romans-embracing-and-living-out-gospel-grace

Related Topics: Curriculum, Women

Lesson 7: Romans (9)-11

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Overview Chapter 9 Israel’s Past, selected, chosen by God to reveal God’s person and plan to the world. Chapter 10 Israel’s present, rejection of Messiah that results in God setting aside His people, the Jews. Chapter 11 Israel’s future, one day all Israel will be saved, restored, reunited in the people of God. Paul’s audience=Roman church =Jews and Gentiles, he speaks to both.

Outline

I. Past: Israel Sovereignly chosen Romans 9

A. Children of Privilege Romans 9:1-5

B. Children of Promise Romans 9:6-13

C. Children of Mercy Romans 9:14-18

D. God’s Sovereignty Romans 9:19-33

1. Who are we to argue with God?

2. What did the Prophets say?

3. Why has God turned to Gentiles?

II. Present: Israel Willfully Rejected Romans 10

A. Reasons for their Rejection Romans 10:1-13

B. Remedy for their Rejection Romans 10:14-17

C. Results of their Rejection Romans 10:18-21

III. Future: Israel Miraculously Saved Romans 11

A. Partial Rejection Romans 11:1-10

B. Purposeful Rejection Romans 11:11-24

C. Promised Restoration Romans 11:25-36

I. Past: Israel Sovereignly Chosen – Romans 9

A. Children Of Privilege Romans 9:1-5.

Paul initially persecuted the Christians, they were his enemy, the he was converted, Jews considered him traitor and he became their enemy- he preached Jesus as Messiah, accused him of turning his back on the religion of his birth, questioned his sincerity. This may be why he says READ Romans 9:1-3. Isn’t His burden for them convicting? It is for me. Have you been continuing to think of that person you love that isn’t yet a believer? Lesson we learn from Paul, even though we may not have the opening to speak to them, we can keep praying and we can keep loving them. Israel’s advantages Romans 9:4, 5. 1. Israelites=named the people of God. 2. Adopted as sons of God. 3. Glory of God= shekinah glory=visible manifestation of God, a bright cloud that followed Israel in the wilderness, later filled the Temple. 4. Covenants= Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David. 5. Law given thru Moses. 6. Temple services=worship. 7. Promises=that still fill the pages of the OT Promises to a nation, that one day there will be a Kingdom centered in Jerusalem ruled by the Lord Himself to which all nations will go to worship. 8. Patriarchs - giant figures in Jewish history=Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David “the fathers” of the faith. 9. Messiah came from Israel by human history.

BUT in spite of these blessings, being children of privilege, Israel failed. When Messiah came Israel rejected Him, crucified Him. They, just like we sometimes do, when confronted with new truth “chose a misguided notion of self-preservation over self-examination and correction.”

Some of you Jews are wondering-Does Israel’s failure mean God’s Word has failed?

Word failed= “ship going off course” Answer is No! Romans 9:6 - God is faithful to His purposes, His promises even when we are not.

B. Children Of Promise Romans 9:6-13.

Reason why God’s Word has not failed is Romans 9:6b, 8. Paul’s point is that being a physical descendant of Abraham, Issac, Jacob does not automatically make one a recipient of God’s promises - only those who are spiritual descendants. God sees 2 groups: those who are physical, biological descendants and those who are physical, biological and spiritual because they have the FAITH of their forefathers. This is the same argument we saw back in Romans 2:28= 2 groups: circumcised outwardly and those who has received a circumcision of the heart. The promises were made to the later. Paul gives 2 OT examples to illustrate that there has always been election, God’s choosing within the nation.

1. Abraham had 2 sons. Ishmael born first, but he was son of the handmaid. Issac born second, son of the promise, mother was Sarah, Abraham’s wife.

2. Isaac had 2 sons Romans 9:11 God chose Jacob. Challenging to understand Romans 9:13. Near-Eastern rhetoric. Paul quotes Malachi=later prophets who is rebuking Israel for their negligence in worshipping God. Opens up w/Malachi telling them that God loves them, how have you loved me? God responds “I chose you, loved Jacob, hated Esau” Comparison, contrast between the kind of feelings for the sons, not based on merit, but on God’s choosing. Only one of the twins could inherit the family line through which Messiah would come=God chose Jacob over Esau to receive the Promises.

Certainly some of you are asking “Isn’t God being unfair in His choices?” Romans 9:14

Right here I would like Paul to explain the doctrine of election, he has his chance. I kinda understand that Isaac should be the chosen one, son of wife, promise. But will you explain why Jacob was chosen over Esau? We know the rest of the story, Esau despised his birthright and Jacob valued it. But is that the reason? Paul is silent and doesn’t say.

C. Children Of Mercy Romans 9:14-18

Instead when you ask READ Romans 9:14, he says simply “no” and basically says What’s at issue is not a question of fairness or justice (God by His nature cannot be unfair) but God’s freedom to choose based solely on His own will=Sovereignty of God. What God does is determined by who God is: He is Merciful as Powerful 2 OT illustrations of God’s sovereign decision: remember He is not under obligation to give anyone mercy=all have sinned, but He chooses to have compassion on some= what he told Moses. Pharaoh=ask did he hardened his heart or did God harden his heart? Study the text carefully we have to say yes to both parts, but here in this context Paul is arguing that God can harden just as well as God can have mercy= his Sovereign choice READ Romans 9:18.

D. God’s Sovereignty Romans 9:19-33.

OK Paul, if God is totally in charge, He’s sovereign, chooses some, overlooks others, how can I be blamed for lack of faith? Maybe I can’t help it if I don’t believe? It’s God’s fault not mine right? This attempt to blame God for everything that goes wrong is as old as the Garden of Eden. Adam said, it’s not my fault God, the woman You gave me made me eat of the fruit. Blame God game. Paul answers the question with asking 3 questions of his own.

1. Who Are We To Argue With God About His Sovereignty?

Romans 9:20-24 God chooses our parents, genetic structure, time/place of our birth, born w/some pre-determined facts about us. Then he like a potter shapes our lives with the clay of our hearts. Just like the clay can’t complain how it’s shaped, Paul says God has the same authority over our lives, even us Romans 9:24. Ok you want to talk about God’s sovereignty?

2. What Did The Prophets Say? Romans 9:25-29

a. Gentiles-Hosea (Romans 9:25, 26) God had foretold He would turn away from Jews/call Gentiles.

b. Remnant-Isaiah (27-29) God also foretold that He knew only a remnant of Israel would be saved. Believing Remnant of Jews and the believing Gentiles=”my people”.

3. Why Has God Sovereignly Turned To The Gentiles

(Romans 9:30-33) Gentiles believed, accepted Jesus as Messiah, Jews stumbled over believing in Him, they rejected him.

If we stop here, then we would just conclude, God chooses and we are robots, He makes all the choices and we have no free will - that’s not true. God is completely Sovereign but we have responsibility of choice too. Move to the tension of these 2 truths: God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. Paul will build an argument in Chapter 10 for their accountability.

II. Present: Israel Willfully Rejected - Romans 10

Paul affirms again his love for them.

A. Reasons For Rejection - Romans 10:1-13

1. They were sincere, but sincerely wrong about Jesus Romans 10:2. Their zeal for God was great but w/o knowledge, they did not know the “righteousness that comes from God.”

2. They were proud and self-righteous Romans 10:3 established their own righteousness, proud of their own good works, would not admit a need for a Savior.

3. They misunderstood their own law Romans 10:4-13.

Everything about the Jewish faith pointed to a coming Messiah: the sacrifices, priesthood, temple services, religious festivals, covenants. Law showed them they were sinners, needed a Savior, instead of letting the Law lead them to Messiah, they held on to the Law to make them righteous. Paul contrasts 2 ways to right relationship with God again uses OT to explain his points. Leviticus 18:5 - If you want to live by the law, you must obey it, all of it. Yet, no one ever has, we’ve all broken the commandments, we’ve all sinned. But there’s another way. READ Romans 10:6 again he quotes Moses: righteousness by faith, by quoting Moses here he not difficult or complicated, its available, accessible, near, you don’t have to perform difficult works, in fact READ Romans 10:9, 10. Salvation by faith, trust and belief that Jesus is Lord. READ Romans 10:11-13.

Application: We have been talking about the gospel and salvation since Romans 1. I know that most of you here have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, settled, for most of you and I are either living in Chapter 7 or 8 depending on how faithfully we’re dealing with our sin nature. But I wonder if someone here is still uncertain about their relationship w/God? This is a clear as it gets for how one is saved. Confess and believe Jesus. Only you know your heart- but if you have not received God’s free gift, today is the day to make that certain. You may want to talk to your leader or me or a good friend in your group. Scriptures say ‘today is the day of salvation’

B. Remedy For Their Rejection - Romans 10:14-17

Only way anyone can be saved is Romans 10:13. Reverse logic: Romans 10:14, 15. Before they call they must believe, in order to believe, must hear for its hearing the Word that creates faith Romans 10:17. Emphasis is on the oral communication of the gospel. Today we have many opportunities to tell others about Christ: internet, books, media, never lose sight of the personal one-on-one face-to-face contact. READ Romans 10:14 how can they hear unless someone preaches to them. Definition of preacher is anyone who is willing to tell others about Jesus, God expects us all to be preachers Acts 1:8 “you shall receive power when the HS comes, be my witnesses…” Paul quotes Isaiah - Witnesses have beautiful feet. Who was it in your life that had beautiful feet and brought to you the gospel in such a way that brought you to faith? A parent, a friend, a pastor? Have you thanked them? What about you? Do you have beautiful feet? Are you willing to share Jesus with others? How will they hear if you don’t tell them?

Truth: Remedy for rejection is hearing and believing

Romans 10:16 = not all who heard believed

C. Results Of Their Rejection - Romans 10:18-21

Some of you are asking “Maybe the Jews never heard the gospel?” Romans 10:18 yes they have

OK, but if they heard, maybe it’s that they didn’t understand? No. This has been their attitude since the time of Moses, the Jews have refused to accept the plain revelation of God. Paul quotes Moses and Isaiah, concerning Israel READ Romans 10:21.

Most of you are thinking of family members, friends, Jewish heritage, asking “Is God going to get tired of holding out His hand, will His patience with Israel wear out? Is there any future for the nation? Paul answers those questions in Chapter 11. Learning the truths in this chapter changed my life, changed the way I think about world events, changed the way I think about Jewish friends, when I went to Israel, I thought about how one day I would return there with Jesus.

III. Future: Israel Miraculously Saved - Romans 11

A. Partial Rejection - Romans 11:1-10

Paul asks what you’ve been thinking Romans 11:1. Did God reject his people? No Paul says look at me, I’m a Jew that has embraced Jesus. If God had permanently cast off the entire nation, no Jew could be saved. Yet, Paul had been called by God, converted by faith to Christianity (Acts 9) Paul shares the story of Elijah=concludes God has always had a remnant among the Jews, same is today. 100 Messianic churches in Jerusalem today. Existence today of Jews who have received Jesus as Messiah is evidence God has a plan for His people.

B. Purposeful Rejection - Romans 11:11-24

Three purposes God planned to accomplish thru the “transgression of the Jews”:

1. Salvation would come to Gentiles Romans 11:11b. Study Paul’s missionary journeys in Acts, you see a pattern: Paul would go to the synagogues, Jews first, preach Christ, a few believed, but more often he was kicked out, after their rejection, turned to the Gentiles who believed, started churches.

2. Gentile faith would move the Jews to jealousy Romans 11:11b.

3. One day Israel’s fullness will bring greater riches to the entire world Romans 11:12

Paul turns and says Romans 11:13 I’m talking especially to you Gentiles, understand this

Two illustrations:

1. Baking (Romans 11:16) - Jewish farmer raised a grain crop, he would bring the first shoot to the priest as offering. Similar when baking use the grain, first piece of dough was given as offering. If part is holy, all is holy. “When a representative piece is consecrated to God, the whole belongs to him, so when the first converts believe, the conversion of the rest can be expected to follow” STOTT

2. Gardening (Romans 11:16-17) - Allegory of the Olive Tree. Tree= people of God, whose root is the patriarchs. The branches broken off = unbelieving Jews who have been temporarily discarded, grafted in branches = believing Gentiles. You Gentiles, don’t become prideful, arrogant or prejudiced against the Jews, always be God’s chosen people. READ Romans 11:28, 29

When we study the last 200 years, we see Sad, shameful, contrary to biblical teachings points in Church history where we have been anti-semitic, that prejudice has been open, militant and promoted by the church. Shame on us. There is no room in the church of JC for Gentile pride or any feelings of superiority to the Jewish people. No room for crude anti-semitic jokes, no room for exclusive anti-semitic memberships. No room in the Christian life for any feelings other than love, concern for the salvation of Israel. Paul makes this very clear, sad to say, most who call themselves Christians haven’t read chapter 11.

C. Promised Restoration - Romans 11:25-36

READ Romans 11:25-27 Mystery. Partial hardening = key word “fullness of the Gentiles, last Gentile is saved, church age ends. Then God will turn again to the Jew and “All Israel will be saved” All Israel will accept Jesus. When will this happen, when will the fullness of the Gentiles actually happen? No date on the calendar. Zechariah 9-14 sound very much like this time, Second coming of Christ. It’s all God’s Plan, His purposes, His calling, His gifts His mercy, and God does not change.

Benediction (Romans 11:33-36) - Paul is overwhelmed and stops to praise and worship God. Pray.

Homework questions are available in the student study guide which may be downloaded from the "Related Media" box on the series home page: bible.org/series/romans-embracing-and-living-out-gospel-grace

Related Topics: Curriculum, Women

Lesson 8: Romans 12-16

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Do you do crossword puzzles or Sudoku? Just learned this summer and I love it. In crossword puzzles and Sudoku you have to work both vertically and horizontally to complete the puzzle. Our lives have the same two dimensions. Vertically, we have a relationship w/God and horizontally we have relationships w/each other. For weeks now, our primary focus has been vertically: Sin, Salvation, Sanctification, Sovereignty. This week we move our focus to horizontally: Service: How we live out our theology, our beliefs about God with one another. Paul provides in these last chapters divinely inspired guidelines for applying the Christian life, we learn how God wants us to relate to each..

Outline:

I. The Christian Servant Romans 12

A. Sacrifice our bodies Romans 12:1-2

B. Share our gifts Romans 12:3-8

C. Serve our society Romans 12:9-21

II. The Christian Citizen Romans 13

A. Live under authority Romans 13:1-7

B. Love our neighbor Romans 13:8-10

C. Look for Jesus Romans 13:11-14

III. The Christian Brother Romans 14:1-15:13

A. Accept on another Romans 14:1-6

B. Accountable to God Romans 14:7-12

C. Adjust our liberties Romans 14:13-23

D. Act as our Lord Romans 15:1-13 (Lecture stops here)

III. Paul’s closing remarks Romans 15:14-16:27

A. Ministry, Plans, Personal greetings, benediction

I. The Christian Servant – Romans 12

A. Sacrifice Our Bodies – Romans 12:1-2

READ Romans 12:1, 2. “Therefore”, connecting linking word, 4th time: Romans 3:20 of condemnation, all guilty of sin; Romans 5:1 of justification, salvation thru Jesus Christ; Romans 8:1 of assurance, “in Christ Jesus”; Romans 12:1 of dedication, devotion. What is true devotion? 3 steps: 1. Give God your body. 2. Give God your mind. 3. Give God your will.

1. Why would God want my body? Tired, sick, out of shape. When we say that, we forget how God views us. Forget that He created us, sees us as His temple because the Holy Spirit dwells inside. Two biblical examples that will help us understand “living sacrifice”: 1st – Isaac - Genesis 22. Abraham sacrificed only son Isaac, forget that Isaac had a part too, Isaac willingly put himself on the altar and would have died in obedience to God’s command, but the Lord sent a ram to take His place. Isaac died to “self” and when he got off that altar he was a living sacrifice, to the glory of God. Other, Jesus Christ perfect illustration. He actually died as a sacrifice, but rose again, today in heaven He is our living sacrifice. Verb “offer” =once at for all=implies a definite commitment of our bodies to Christ just as a bride/groom commit themselves in their wedding service. Paul says 2 REASONS:

a. Right response to all God has done for us, “I urge you in view of...Pleases God”

b. Spiritual response, to God it is an act of worship.

How do you define worship? Singing, praising God, going to church, good. In this passage, God is saying “everyday, at work, home, living your ordinary life, I want you to worship me by allowing Me to use your body.” God wants to use your body, He created your body, has a plan for your body. Warning: If we use our bodies for only for ourselves, self-focused: my family, my world, we’ll miss knowing all we were created to be. 2 reminders: Romans 8:13 - stop abusing your body in sin; Romans 12:1 - intentionally give your body to God, material part of who you are. God also wants the immaterial part of you: next

2. The world wants to control your mind, but God wants to transform your mind. “Do not conform”= present tense verbs=on-going process. What does that mean? Someone might answer, I know, don’t smoke, don’t drink, gamble, dance, don’t wear too much makeup, fool around sexually, if you really want to be spiritual, sell your TV and give up caffeine. Is there a list in your mind if you gave it up, you’d be spiritual? Truth is, there are many people who have given up a list of “worldly things” but they are still conformed to the spirit of this world in their mind. Worldly thinking = what do I get out of this, what’s in it for me, my family? How do I win? How can I make you think I’m really good, smart, strong? Bible says don’t be locked into this kind of thinking, it brings heartache and pain. “World” is always seeking personal happiness, personal fulfillment, method: competition, rivalry, getting ahead, getting my way no matter who gets hurt in the process. God says “don’t be conformed but be TRANSFORMED=same word as Transfigured in Matthew 17:2 - Jesus on Mountain. It came into our English language as “metamorphosis” describing a change from within. Bible tells us believers have the mind of Christ, ability to see life through His eyes, not to advance ourselves, but to serve God. God transforms our minds and makes us spiritually minded, way He does that is His Word. As you spend time reading, meditating, memorizing the Word, it becomes part of your inner being, God will make your mind renewed, think different. Your mind controls you body, but

3. Your will controls your mind.

Many think we can control ourselves by our own willpower, our own strength. Chapter 7 - often fail. It’s when we give our “will” over to God, find ourselves in the center of His Will for us = good, pleasing, perfect. “Not my will, but yours” = knew God’s will=best.

Truth: As Christ-followers we need to break loose from worldly patterns of life and thought and give ourselves holistically to God.

Ie UNSQUEEZED book.

Think about your life, can you discern where your thinking is more like the world than like Christ? Have you ever consciously offered yourself to God to be a living sacrifice, would you want to? Do you make decisions and then ask God to bless them, or do you first ask God, what’s your will, what do you want me to do? Truth=to function horizontally, relationally with others as a Christian, we first must surrender vertically.

B. Share Our Gifts – Romans 12:3-8

Paul reminds us to avoid overrating ourselves, natural tendency, but also implied is the opposite problem, we should not underrate ourselves. Both are flip sides of the coin of Pride, and are out-of –balance. Proper way to think about yourself is God’s way= Believer, loved by God, dependent on the indwelling HS, made in the image of God, being remade in the image of Christ. Not conceited but confident. We are all related, all part of one body=body of Christ, serve one another w/our gifts.

Definition: A spiritual gift is an ability that God has given that enables you to serve.

As I read the gifts, think about yourself, which one are you?

READ Romans 12:6-8. Prophets = speak forth the Word of God; Servants = demonstrate love by meeting practical needs; Teachers = impart knowledge and instruct in truth; Exhorters = encourage others to spiritual growth; Givers = share personal assets to further God’s ministry; Leaders = coordinate, delegate, lead others to achieve goals; Mercy = gifted w/sympathetic understanding of other’s problems, seek to comfort those in turmoil.

Truth: As Christ followers we have spiritual gifts to discover & to use for others.

C. Serve Our Society - Romans 12:9-21

READ Romans 12:9. The basis of our serving others is LOVE, sincere, genuine love. True love that comes from God flowing out of you to others. Learn from the Bible how we express that love to others. Romans 12:9-13 - Paul gives a list of imperatives dealing with our relationships with others both fellow believers and unbelievers.

1. Romans 12:9 - True love must be sincere, rejects sin but not sinner, opposite=hypocritical love, love based on behavior, performance, love not extended unless you measure up. That kind of love has turned off more people from Christianity than anything else. People hear words of Jesus about love, peace, joy, go to church expecting to find it there, instead they may find prejudice, rejection, contempt, exclusion. Other extreme is also hypocritical, like the Corinthian church-accept all behavior, all sin without discriminating between right and wrong=no you need to hate evil, cling to good.

2. Romans 12:10 - True love is devoted “full of tenderness”, unselfish, sees that we are all one family.

3. Romans 12:11 - True love is full of enthusiasm. Not lazy or indifferent about serving others, zeal.

4. Romans 12:12 - True love Rejoices One way to have joy in hope is that when storms come, begin and be constantly in prayer. Phil 4:6 - In everything by prayer & petition with thanksgiving make your requests known to God and you will experience the peace of God.

5. Romans 12:13 - True love is generous & hospitable. We are responsible to meet needs of others giving assistance spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. Practice hospitality = Greek = “affection to strangers.” Take opportunities to openly invite new acquaintances, new people to spend time with you and your family.

6. Romans 12:14-21 - True love REACTS in love:

a. speaks well of our enemies. Romans 12:14 - don’t badmouth people who aren’t nice to you.

b. adjusts to others moods and circumstances. Romans 12:15 - laugh and cry with others.

c. does not show partiality. Romans 12:16 - live in harmony, don’t be proud, conceited.

d. is not sneaky or underhanded. Romans 12:17 - don’t do the “payback”, leave that to God.

e. is a peacemaker. Romans 12:18 - so glad was a realistic, included “if possible” some people will not allow you to be at peace with them, but don’t let that be your excuse not to seek peace and reconciliation, but know that it may not be possible, it takes 2, you can only 1.

f. leaves all revenge up to God. Romans 12:19-21 - Why? It’s His job, only He can work it out with fairness and justice. Our job is to Romans 12:20. What does Paul mean? Ancient way of lighting fires, no matches, you needed a light, borrow some coals from a neighbor. Good neighbor would fill up an earthen jar full of hot coals, you would carry them home on head, provide you necessary fire. Picture of generous response to a need. Became a metaphor for responding generously to an enemy.

Ie true story = Christian in military, prayed on his knees, ridiculed, made fun. One night, praying one guy threw his shoes at him, he said nothing, laid the shoes beside, continued. Next morning, guy woke to find his boots beside his bed, shiny, polished, melted him, asked why? Opportunity to share faith, led to conversion. Great example of what Paul meant by overcoming evil with good.

Truth: As Christ followers our call is to relate to others in selfless love.

Application: when was the last time you sincerely served someone else? Rephrase that when was the last time you sincerely served someone else who hurt you, took advantage of you, stabbed you in the back? Following Christ is loving like that.

II. The Christian Citizen - Romans 13

A. Live Under Authority - Romans 13:1-7

Paul now turns to define the Christian’s responsibility and loyalty to one’s country. Romans 13 begins with basic principles for us to know & follow.

1. All government is established by God - Romans 13:1, 2 easy to believe when it’s a democracy, monarchy? Oligarchy? Totalitarian state? Regardless of the form of government God’s hand is in it. Title= Ruler of heaven and earth.

2. Purpose of government is to encourage good and prevent evil - Romans 13:3,4. God has ordained that there be human government, civil laws to preserve order.

3. Christian response to government should be obey the laws - Romans 13:5.

4. We are to pay taxes, don’t sneak things through customs without paying, respect & honor those in government.

Quick to add a higher principle: Truth: A Christ follower’s disobedience to government is justified when that authority requires disobedience to God.

Matthew 22:21 - Render to Caesar…but Caesar has no right to require us to worship Him or disobey God’s word. Point here: don’t resist the legitimate function of government.

B. Love Our Neighbors - Romans 13:8-10

Text turns from owing obedience to owing love. READ Romans 13:8-10. This should not be interpreted to mean under no circumstances should a believer incur a financial debt, “owe nothing” = pay your debts on time, don’t be late in paying what you owe, but realize you’ll never be able to pay back on Love. When you rub shoulders with other people=your first obligation is to show love to them. Greek used “love your neighbor”= heteros= of another kind, implying that we give unselfish love to those who have different beliefs, tastes, values, lifestyles than we do. James 2:8,9 - If you really keep the royal law ..Love your neighbor as yourself you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin...

Application: what kindness have you shown your neighbor lately?

C. Looking For Jesus To Return - Romans 13:11-14

1. Check the time, the hour is late Romans 13:11, 12a Time not hour on clock but a period of history we live in, the next event on God’s time table is the second coming of Jesus Christ, nearer now than yesterday.

2. Change your clothes Romans 13:12b give up the party life, don’t devote your life just to seeking the good times, don’t just live for pleasures, there is more, much more.

Take off your old clothes and put on the Living Jesus Christ, live for Him because He is coming again.

III. The Christian Brother - Romans 14:1-15:13

What do you do when Christians disagree? Believers in Rome, like other churches, divided over diets/special days. Some thought sin to eat meat/only vegetables. Others said it was sin not to observe the Jewish holy days. If each believer had kept their convictions to themselves, no problem. But they began to criticize and judge each other. One group was sure the other was not spiritual. Unfortunately, we too have areas of differences that cause divisions too. Often these are “gray areas”. Certainly there are behaviors that are clearly right/wrong but others are less clear and some things we wrestle with today are not even mentioned ie. music wars in our churches, bible doesn’t mention contemporary vs. traditional music, yet churches have split over this area, shame on us for demanding our preference over keeping the unity…that goes both ways.

Paul gives 4 guidelines:

A. Accept One Another - Romans 14:1-6

What to eat? When to worship? Paul stood theologically on the side of the “strong” believer, the one who embraced liberty and freedom in his faith. However, he realized the deeper issue here was the critical responses of the 2 groups to each other. Basic point is Christians should be convinced of their stand. Romans 14:5 - do what they feel is right but without passing judgment on other believers who have reached a different conclusion. READ Romans 14:4.

B. Account To God For Our Own Conduct - Romans 14:7-12

Someday each of us as individuals will give an account of our lives to God - Romans 14:12. Believers will not face the Great White Throne judgment because we are no longer under condemnation, Romans 8:1, our names are in the Book of Life. However, we will face the Judgment Seat of Christ, Bema seat, our works will be judged as to whether they have been done in the flesh or through the spirit. I Corinthians - Paul is clear here, we are not responsible for anyone else’s life but our own, not husband, not our children, not parents, so this leaves no room for preoccupation w/what we may think are faults in others, not your responsibility, it’s God’s.

C. Adjust Our Liberties - Romans 14:13-23

Our liberties in Christ are to be balanced. God’s desire is that we are free in Christ, enjoy that freedom. Yet without self-imposed limitations we risk being selfish and careless of others. As important as Christian freedom is, there is a principle that surpasses it: Love for a weaker brother/sister Romans 14:15, 21. If a “strong” Christian exercises his/her freedom to eat or drink in a way that offends, or harms, or retards the spiritual growth of another, she is not walking in love.

“Living under grace is like living with no curfews, but with the expectation of coming home on time.”

D. Act Like Our Lord – Romans 15:1-13

This principle of accepting others, thinking of them first was lived out in the life of Jesus Christ. If the world is to see Jesus, it must see Him in us - in our lives. Called to strengthen one another, accept one another, love one another. Height of Christian living is Romans 15:13…READ.

My hope for you is that you fully live both vertically and horizontally: accept His acceptance of you through Jesus Christ, you grow to know and love Him more and more, love and serve others for this is the Will of God for you.

Pray Benediction - Romans 16:25-27

Homework questions are available in the student study guide which may be downloaded from the "Related Media" box on the series home page: bible.org/series/romans-embracing-and-living-out-gospel-grace

Related Topics: Curriculum, Women

3. Christlike Love for Your Wife, Part 1 (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Related Media

September 24, 2017

Do you love your wife? Every Christian husband knows the correct answer to that question. But, do you really love her? The answer depends partly on how you define love. Carole King sang, “I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down; I feel my heart start to trembling, whenever you’re around.” Those of us who have been married for a few decades might say, “I vaguely remember feeling like that!” But few marriages can be described like that after many years.

But let’s shift the notion of love from feeling “the earth move under our feet” when we first met our wives to Paul’s command for a husband’s love (Eph. 5:25): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” How does your love for your wife compare to Christ’s love for the church, which caused Him to give Himself on the cross for her? It’s safe to say that no matter how long you’ve been married and no matter how happy your marriage may be, there is always the need to grow in Christlike love for your wife.

While my comments today focus on husbands (because our text does), I should point out that Jesus commanded us all to love one another just as He loved us (John 13:34). In Ephesians 5:2, Paul commands us to walk in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave Himself up for us. So this message applies to every Christian, single or married, male or female. We all must continually be growing in Christlike love for others. But Paul specifically applies the need for Christlike love to Christian husbands:

Sacrificial, purposeful Christlike love should characterize every husband’s relationship with his wife.

As verse 32 states, Christian marriage is an earthly picture of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church. The world should look at a Christian marriage and see a distinctive difference in the way that husbands and wives relate to one another. Satan attacks Christian marriages because the testimony of Christ and His sacrificial death on the cross is at stake. When Christian marriages break up, it sends a false message to the world, that Christ does not love His bride with enduring love. So this text is not here just to tell you how to have a happy marriage, although it will help you do that. It is here for a much greater purpose: to help us glorify our Savior through marriages that reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for His church.

1. Love is the command for husbands.

A. Authority is not the command.

If you ask Christian husbands, “What is your main responsibility toward your wife?” you will often hear, “To be the head of my home!” And, following Paul’s instructions to wives (Eph. 5:22-24), where he states that the husband is the head of the wife, you’d expect him to say next, “Husbands, exercise headship over your wives, just as Christ is the head of the church.” While that is a serious responsibility, that is not what Paul says when he addresses husbands. Rather, he says (literally), “Husbands, be continually loving your wives ….” While wives are to love their husbands, the husband, not the wife, is primarily responsible to set an atmosphere of love in the home.

B. Material provision is not the command here.

Many American husbands think that their main responsibility is to provide an increasingly affluent lifestyle for their wives and children. They would say that the long hours that they work show their love for their families. But the truth is, many men find it easier to give their wives and children things than to spend time with them and develop close, loving relationships.

Granted, Paul states that if a man does not provide financially for his family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8). Those are strong words, and we should not disregard them! But, he was talking about providing for basic needs, not all of the stuff that the world says we need to be happy. But in our text, the main command for husbands is not, “Provide for her,” or, “Exercise your headship,” but rather, “Love her!”

2. Love is possible for every husband.

There are two reasons that although difficult, love is possible:

A. Love is possible because it is commanded.

God never commands us to do something unless He gives us the power to accomplish it. This command follows the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18). Without the Holy Spirit replacing our self-centeredness with His fruit, which begins with love (Gal. 5:22-23), we could never begin to love our wives as Christ loved the church. While we will never do it perfectly in this life, when we walk in the Spirit, we will grow in love.

The fact that God commands us to love our wives also means that the excuse, “I used to love her, but I don’t love her anymore,” won’t cut it. The Lord’s reply to that is, “Get to work at obeying My commandment and the feelings will rekindle!” Falling in love is somewhat easy and effortless. But staying in love and growing in love require deliberate focus and effort. If your marriage has degenerated into bitterness, blaming, and anger, you’ll have to work much harder at obeying this command. But the fact that God commands it means that it is possible. It’s a matter of obedience.

B. Love is possible because it is commanded to men from every conceivable background.

Just as the command for wives to be subject to their husbands is not culturally determined, but required of all wives in every culture, so the command to husbands to love their wives is given to all Christian husbands. Many of the men in the Ephesian church had been saved out of raw paganism. Many of them had frequented the Temple of Diana, goddess of the Ephesians, where both male and female prostitution were a part of the “worship” ritual (hence, Paul’s instructions in Eph. 5:3-12.) Furthermore, many of these men were in marriages that had been arranged by their parents.

The Greek writer, Demosthenes, described the common mentality of pagan men in those days: “We keep mistresses for pleasure, concubines for the day-to-day needs of the body, but we have wives in order to produce children legitimately and to have a trustworthy guardian of our homes” (quoted by William Barclay, Flesh and Spirit [Baker], p. 24; Barclay documents the widespread immorality of pagan Greece and Rome on pp. 24-27).

Against that pagan backdrop, the Christian perspective regarding the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility of the husband to be devoted exclusively to his wife in lifelong, Christlike love was radical! And, it’s radical in our corrupt culture. But my point is, even in a marriage where the husband has been unfaithful to his wife (or she to him), where romantic love has gone cold, it is possible through obedience to God’s Word to turn that marriage relationship around so that it not only honors God, but also is fulfilling to the couple.

But, to apply Paul’s command, we must be clear about what he means by “love.” Is it feeling “the earth move under your feet” whenever she’s around?

3. Love is a self-sacrificing, caring commitment that shows itself in seeking the highest good of the one loved.

It’s sacrificial and purposeful. I developed that definition from this text, as well as from other texts that describe Christ’s love for us. Note the basis for each part of the definition from our text:

“Love is self-sacrificing,” just as “Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25).

“Love is caring,” just as a man nourishes and cherishes his own flesh, as Christ does the church (Eph. 5:29).

“Love is a commitment,” as implied by the command to love, by Christ’s covenant love for us, and by the analogy of the body.

“Love shows itself,” that is, it is not just words, but also deeds, as seen by Christ’s going to the cross for us.

“Love seeks the highest good of the one loved,” just as Christ died for us so that He might sanctify and cleanse us, to present us to Himself in all our glory, holy and blameless (Eph. 5:26-27).

So the definition fits this text and I encourage every man to memorize it (or create a better one of your own) so that you can think about applying it daily toward your wife. It is very important to rid our minds of the Hollywood image that love is primarily sexual attraction that hits you out of nowhere like the flu and just as mysteriously evaporates apart from your power to hang onto it. Certainly, God’s design is that marital love involves mutual sexual attraction. Without it, I would not advise a couple to marry. But, to sustain and deepen love over a lifetime, we must understand what Christlike love is like.

So, I want to explore the text in more depth by presenting ten contrasts to explain practically what biblical love looks like. (We can only cover two of them in this message.)

A. Love is sacrificial, not selfish.

“Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). He is our standard. He didn’t sit on His throne in heaven and bark commands to us on earth. At a personal cost that we can never fully fathom, He laid aside His rights as God, took on human flesh and became obedient to death on the cross, where He bore God’s wrath for us! As Charles Wesley wrote, “Amazing love, how can it be, that Thou my God shouldst die for me!”

Maybe you’re thinking, “I’d die for my wife if I had to. I’d fight to the death to protect her.” That’s great, and I hope you would! But here’s the real issue: Are you crucifying self every day on behalf of your wife? Is your focus on using her to meet your needs or on setting aside your selfish desires to meet her needs?

In his exposition of this text, Martyn Lloyd-Jones says (Life in the Spirit [Baker], p. 211),

… the real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. Of course that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world.

Of course, the wife also must practice self-sacrificing love toward her husband, since all Christians must love one another. But, the apostle’s command here to husbands to love our wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, means that the main responsibility for setting a loving atmosphere in the home is on us. But many husbands do not daily practice laying aside their rights, their comfort, their pleasures, their pursuits, or their time, for the sake of their wives. If you’re using your wife simply to meet your needs, if you don’t regard her needs above your own, or if you’re demanding your own way in the home, you aren’t loving her sacrificially.

Or, to get more practical, if when you come home from work, your attitude is, “I’ve worked hard all day; I deserve some rest. Don’t bug me, wife!” you don’t love her as God calls you to do. Instead, as you drive home, you should be thanking God for the wonderful wife He has given you, be praying for her and thinking about how God wants you to minister to her. If your wife brings you your slippers and the paper when you walk in the door and says, “Enjoy yourself,” that’s fine. But if the kids are going wild, the phone is ringing, the dishes are piled up in the sink, and the trash needs taking out, you may need to set aside your right to some relaxation and serve your wife out of love.

B. Love is purposeful, not aimless, effortless ecstasy.

Paul states Christ’s purpose in giving Himself for the church (Eph. 5:26-27): “so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”

The world views love as an aimless, effortless state of ecstasy. You fall in love, kind of like falling off a surfboard. Once you’re in the water, you just let the current carry you along. If you have to work at it or give it any effort, you must not have the real thing. True love is totally spontaneous and unplanned.

But biblical love involves effort to achieve a purpose. Christ does not achieve His aims for His bride by effortless spontaneity! He has a definite purpose and He works with us to achieve it.

1) Married love has an exclusive purpose.

“That He might sanctify her ….” To sanctify means to set apart unto God for His purposes. There are three senses of sanctification in the Bible. There is positional sanctification, which happens at the moment of salvation. God sets us apart for Himself (1 Cor. 1:2). Then there is progressive sanctification, the process by which God makes us holy in practice (1 Thess. 4:3). And, there is perfect sanctification, in which we will be completely holy at the moment of Christ’s return (1 John 3:2; pictured in Eph. 5:27).

Verse 26 probably refers to the positional sanctification that takes place at the moment of salvation (Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians [Eerdmans/Apollos], pp. 421-422). In this sense, it has in view the exclusivity of our marriage to Jesus Christ. Just as couples often pledge at their wedding, “Forsaking all others, I devote myself to you alone,” so when Christ saves us, we are set apart from the world unto Him alone. We belong exclusively to Him.

In practical terms, men, this means that you must put a protective fence around your love for your wife. There is no place for flirting with other women. I think it is dangerous and inappropriate for a married man to continue or to form close friendships with women other than his wife, unless his wife is fully included. Also, it should go without saying, but I’ll say it: you should not look at other women lustfully, whether in pornography or in person. While there is a sense in which Jesus loves all people, there is a special, exclusive sense in which He loves His bride. Even so, a Christian husband must guard his exclusive relationship with his wife.

2) Married love has a purifying purpose.

Christ “cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” This refers to the cleansing that takes place at the moment of salvation, when Jesus’ blood cleanses us from all our sins (O’Brien, p. 422). While sanctifying refers to being set apart exclusively unto God, cleansing refers to the removal of our sins.

Many scholars understand “the washing of water with the word” to refer to baptism and the word of consecration that accompanies that ritual. Or, Paul may have been thinking of the ritual bath that Jewish brides took before their weddings. Or, he may have been thinking of Ezekiel 16:8-14, where God describes how He entered into a marriage covenant with His bride Israel. He washed off her blood, anointed her with oil, and clothed her in beautiful garments and jewelry, dressing her like a queen. Even so, Christ took us from our impurity and cleansed us from all our sins, making us the bride of the King.

“The word” (Eph. 5:26, Greek, rhema) refers to the spoken or preached word, and probably refers to the gospel (as in Eph. 6:17; see also, John 15:3 & 17:17, which both use logos). It is through the word of the gospel that we are cleansed and set apart unto God. When Christ opens our ears to hear the gospel, that He shed His blood to cleanse us from our sins, and when He imparts to us faith to believe it, we become His purified bride, set apart unto Him.

The application for husbands is that we must be committed to the total well-being of our wives, but especially to their spiritual growth in holiness. Set the example and encourage her to spend time daily in God’s Word. Pray with her and for her, that she might grow in godliness. Talk often with her about the things of God. Share with her the struggles and the joys of your walk with God. Listen to praise music and biblical sermons when you take a trip together. Protect your wife from the world’s moral filth as much as you are able. Don’t watch raunchy movies or TV programs.

3) Married love has an edifying purpose.

The picture in verses 26 and 27 is of the Lord building His church, so that we will be holy and blameless. That has been His purpose from eternity. In Ephesians 1:4 we read, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.” The Lord never does anything to tear down or put down His chosen bride! Even when He must discipline us, He does it in love that we may share His holiness (Heb. 12:6, 10).

The application for Christian husbands is obvious: Any thoughts, words, or deeds that put down your wife, ridicule her, attack her, or tear her down, are not in line with your God-given purpose. At times, you may need gently to correct her in love. But your aim is to help her grow into a truly beautiful woman in the sense of Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Or, in the words of 1 Peter 3:4, you want to encourage her to develop “the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”

Conclusion

We’ll look at the other eight contrasts next time. But for now, let me urge all husbands to focus on two things:

First, immerse yourself often in the wonder of the cross. Paul is not giving out worldly self-help tips here on how to have a happy marriage. He roots his instruction to husbands in the theology and beauty of the cross, where the sinless Son of God offered Himself to secure His bride. As Martyn Lloyd-Jones points out (ibid., pp. 137-138), “His argument is clearly this—it is only as we realize the truth about the relationship of Christ to the church that we can really function as Christian husbands ought to function.” When you are overwhelmed daily with the fact that Jesus Christ died for all your sins, to make you His bride, the humility that that produces in you will spill over into self-sacrificing love for your wife. So take time each day to think about the glorious, amazing grace shown to you at the cross.

Second, take time often during the week (perhaps as you’re driving home from work) to think about how you can show sacrificial, purposeful Christlike love to your wife. Be as practical and specific as you can. It may be as simple as asking about her day and listening sensitively as she tells you. It may be helping her with the household chores or giving her a break from the kids. But if you aren’t giving it focused thought, you’re not obeying Paul’s command here. Your love for her should be sacrificial, not selfish. It should be purposeful, not aimless. You should do it not primarily to have a happy marriage, but primarily to glorify the Lord, who loved you and gave Himself for you on the cross.

In 1990, Robertson McQuilkin, the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary, surprised many in the Christian world when he resigned his position in order to care for his wife, Muriel, who had Alzheimer’s disease. He was in his early sixties and could have served much longer. His wife could no longer communicate in sentences, and even her phrases were often nonsensical. She needed around the clock care. Since she would only grow worse, trusted, lifelong, godly friends urged McQuilkin to put her in an institution and continue his ministry. But he decided that it was his loving, joyful responsibility to care for her.

McQuilkin was startled by the public response to his resignation. He heard of husbands and wives renewing their marriage vows, of pastors telling the story to their congregations. It was a mystery to him why it attracted such attention, until an oncologist friend, who lives constantly with dying people, told him, “Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women.” (Christianity Today [10/8/90].)

Men, God calls us to stand by our wives by loving them as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and purposefully.

Application Questions

  1. Why does Paul emphasize submission for wives, but love for husbands? What implications does this have?
  2. Discuss the implications of Dr. Lloyd-Jones’ comment, “The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self.”
  3. Does biblical marital love involve romantic feelings? If so, how can it be commanded? How can lost feelings be rekindled?
  4. Many wives are further along spiritually than their husbands. How can a husband in such a situation seek to help her spiritually? Where does he begin?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2017, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

Related Topics: Love, Marriage, Men's Articles

Q. How are the Nephilim/giants mentioned in Scripture after the flood to be understood if one of the reasons of the flood was to destroy that unholy mixture of demons and the daughters of men recorded in Genesis 6?

Hey Bob,

I just ready your article about the Sons of God and daughters of men (https://bible.org/seriespage/7-sons-god-and-daughters-men-genesis-61-8). It was well written, thank you. Usually when someone supports that position, I have found the opinions that follow are pretty outlandish. I found your article fairly convincing.

My question is this (if you don’t mind): You referenced Numbers 13:33 and the sons of Anak. If at least part of the purpose of the flood is to destroy these hybrid giants, why would these giants still be around after the flood? Your quote is, “I therefore understand the Nephilim to be a race of super-humans who are the product of this angelic invasion of the earth”. Wouldn’t they have died off in the flood?

Thanks in advance for your answer.

Answer

Dear *****,

Thanks for the note. Right now I am reading a book by Michael S. Heiser, entitled, The Unseen Realm: Recovering the supernatural worldview of the Bible. It comes pretty highly recommended, but I’m reading cautiously. But he does make a point of showing how the Bible reflects the (largely) unseen spiritual realm (Psalm 82; Job 38:4-7; Ephesians 3:8-10). Thus, it is not surprising to read Genesis 6 in this light, and to see the “sons of God” as angelic beings (who did not keep their own domain -- Jude 1:6).

Now, your question is, “How do we explain ‘giants’ (described by the same word Nephilim) later on, after the fall? My inclination is to understand the term Nephilim as meaning “giants” (human or supernatural). The Nephilim of Genesis 6 were angelic, and thus giants. Later on there were still “giants” in the land -- those folks who were exceedingly large, like Goliath, his kin (1 Chronicles 20:5), and others like him (1 Chronicles 11:22-23). As I read the text, these were not supernatural beings, as found earlier in Genesis, which were destroyed by the flood, but simply a group of extra-large people. These appeared at various times in Israel’s history.

Hope this helps,

Bob Deffinbaugh

Related Topics: Text & Translation

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