We live in a day of rampant children’s rights. In Sweden, a model for the movement, it is illegal to spank your children or even to administer such discipline as sending them to bed or depriving them of TV. The laws are enforced by social workers, special courts, and the police. In our country, children now can divorce their parents and move on to a new set who will not be so demanding. Years ago the Duke of Windsor observed, “The thing that impresses me about America is the way parents obey their children.”

This widespread disregard for parental authority over their children, coupled with the influence of psychology, which has advised us not to do anything to stifle a child’s emotions or to damage his self-esteem, has led to a disregard, even in Christian circles, of keeping the fifth of the Ten Commandments: “Honor your father and mother.” The apostle Paul puts it, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:3). Having just studied Ham, who as an adult dishonored his father Noah, resulting in a curse on Ham’s descendants through Canaan, I thought it would be fitting on this Mother’s Day to take a look at the neglected Fifth Commandment.

As you know, the Ten Commandments may be divided into two sections, each reinforcing the two greatest commandments. The first four commands spell out what it means to love the Lord our God: Not to have any other gods before Him; not to make or serve any idols; not to take His name in vain; and, to keep the sabbath day holy. The last six commands teach us how to love our neighbor as we do, in fact, love ourselves: To honor our fathers and mothers; not to murder, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness, or covet anything belonging to our neighbor.

Standing at the head of this second section, the commandment to honor our parents is foundational to keeping all that follow. If we truly honor our parents, we will not disgrace their name by becoming a murderer, by being unfaithful to our marriage vows, by stealing, by lying, or by the greed and discontent underlying covetousness. The keeping of the Fifth Commandment also works back toward the first four. If we are rebellious and disrespectful toward our parents who gave us life and sustenance, we will also probably be rebellious and disrespectful toward the Lord God, our creator and sustainer. Disrespect toward parents and God will also carry over into disrespect for all authority, and thus will result in a breakdown of law and order, leading to a disintegration of the very basis for civilized society. Thus the keeping of the Fifth Commandment is not some outmoded, quaint idea to be set aside without consequence. It is vital to the survival of our nation.

Before we look at what it means to keep this command, I want to point out that if you keep it, you and your family will stand out as distinct from our culture, especially when your children are teenagers. I reject the culturally accepted idea, brought to us by those wonderful folks in developmental psychology, that a period of rebellion and defiance is the norm for teenagers. It has become a self-fulfilling prophecy, even in Christian homes, where parents lamely shrug their shoulders at their kids’ rebellion and excuse it with, “Well, it’s just a phase they have to go through.” Nonsense! Christian teenagers can and must honor, obey, and respect their parents out of submission to the Lord. When they do this, it will open the door for witness in a world where rebellion and disrespect for parents is the norm. As we examine this commandment, I want to make two main points:

As children, we should honor our parents; as parents, we should live worthily of our children’s honor.

Then I want to discuss under a third heading what children should do when their parents are not deserving of their honor.

1. As children, we should honor our parents.

First, we need to understand what the command means; then, we will look at some ways we can demonstrate our obedience to it.

The meaning of “honor”:

The word translated “honor” is a Hebrew word with a root meaning of “weight” or “heaviness.” It is the same word often translated “glory” in reference to the Lord. To glorify the Lord is to attach the utmost weight or significance to who He is and what He does. It means to assign Him the highest place because He is worthy of it. The opposite of glorifying God is to treat Him lightly, to shrug off Him and His commands as insignificant. Coupled with the idea of weight is that of value, which is the root meaning of the Greek word for honor. Gold and silver are heavy, valuable metals. We say of a valuable man, “He’s worth his weight in gold.”

Applied to parents, to honor them is to have an attitude of respect for them that stems from the fact that we greatly value them and the contribution they’ve made to our lives. To honor our parents is to assign a high place of value to them. This attitude of respect and high esteem will result in loving actions toward them. The motivation for doing this should be to please and glorify the Lord Jesus who set the example of obedience to His earthly parents in order to please His Heavenly Father.

The means of honoring our parents:

(1) When you’re young, you honor your parents by obeying their instruction and submitting to their correction. This is clear in Paul’s linking, “Children obey your parents” with the command to honor them (Eph. 6:1-3). When Paul states, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord,” he does not mean, “Obey your parents only if they are in the Lord” (that is, Christians). Nor does he mean, “Obey your parents when you think their decisions are in line with what you think the Lord wants.” He means, it is your duty in the Lord to obey your parents. The Book of Proverbs, after a brief introduction, begins, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head, and ornaments about your neck” (Prov. 1:8-9).

The only exception to obeying your parents would be if they commanded you to do something that is a clear violation of Scripture. But even then, you must demonstrate to your parents a submissive spirit that seeks to please them. You should respectfully appeal to them and explain your reasons why you cannot obey them in this instance. You should show that it grieves you to have to disobey them. And, you should submit to any punishment they impose without complaint or rebellion, but with a heart of joy in the Lord, that you are counted worthy to suffer for His name. But such times when you must disobey your parents out of obedience to God will probably be rare.

(2) As you grow older, you honor your parents by respecting them, treating them with kindness, and holding their counsel in high regard. It is never right to despise or ridicule your parents, even if they have done something deserving of such treatment. We saw this with Ham, who flippantly looked on his father’s drunkenness and nakedness, rather than respectfully covering him as his two brothers did (Gen. 9:21-24).

There comes a point, of course, where you move out from under your parents’ authority and are no longer obligated to obey them. Wise parents let the reins go gradually, so that a young person assumes more and more responsibility for his own life, until he is on his own. When is that? It is not necessarily at some arbitrary age, such as 18 or even 21. But a general rule of thumb is, if you are chafing under your parents’ authority, you are probably not ready to be out from under it. Your obedience to your parents shows that you are mature enough to live apart from their direct authority, and that you are under the lordship of Christ.

But even when you’re out from under your parents’ authority, you always remain under their counsel. As an adult, you answer directly to God, but it would be foolish to shrug off your parents’ counsel without careful consideration. There are times as a Christian young person when you must follow God’s leading, for example, to go to the mission field, even though your parents (who may even be believers) don’t want you to go. In order to obey God by going to seminary, and later moving to Europe to serve God, Francis Schaeffer had to say to his parents, “I love you, and I’m sorry to make you unhappy, but I am convinced that this is what God wants me to do, and I am going to do it.” His resolute obedience to God was in the end the means of bringing first his father and later his mother to faith in Jesus Christ (told by Edith Schaeffer, Lifelines [Crossway Books], pp. 115-116). But even in going against his parents’ wishes, Schaeffer showed them respect and kindness.

(3) As your parents grow older, you honor them by caring for them and providing for their needs as you are able. Paul directs children and grandchildren to make some return to their aged parents by caring for them and providing for their needs, and adds, “for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” He goes on to say that if we do not provide for our own families (he means both our immediate families and our aged parents), we have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:4, 8). The best arrangement may or may not be to have an aged parent live in our own homes. Each family has the freedom to determine the specific arrangements under the Lord. But it is not right as Christians to abandon our elderly parents to a nursing home so that we can ignore them. One way we show honor is by giving a person our time. This certainly applies to elderly parents. Our responsibility to honor our parents goes all through life.

There’s a second side to the Fifth Commandment. I can only touch on it briefly:

2. As parents, we should live worthily of our children’s honor.

When Paul gives the command to children to honor and obey their parents, he immediately balances it by commanding the parents (especially, fathers) not to provoke their children to anger, but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). As I’ll mention in a moment, children must honor their parents whether the parents deserve it or not. But, even so, as parents we must not neglect God’s commands to us to rear our children in His ways. This involves two main things:

(1) As parents, we should be examples of godliness in our homes. Children listen to our lives much more than to our lectures. If we preach Christianity but practice hypocrisy, they will not be inclined to honor either us or the Lord Jesus Christ. Being an example of godliness does not imply perfection, because even godly parents are sinners. But it does mean that we walk in the Spirit, growing in the expression of the fruit of the Spirit in our daily lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Gal. 5:22-23). This includes controlling anger, toward both our mates and children. Being an example of godliness means that when we sin in word or deed toward our family members, we humbly confess that sin and seek forgiveness, both from God and from the ones we wronged. It means that we walk in daily, moment-by-moment submission to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

(2) As parents, we should train our children in the ways of the Lord. This includes leading our children to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and teaching them the commands and principles of Scripture. It includes commitment to a local church, set times for family Bible reading and prayer, and teaching God’s ways in spur of the moment opportunities. This kind of instruction is not a nice thing to do if you’re so inclined; it is a God-given duty for Christian parents, especially for fathers. We shirk our responsibility as Christian fathers if we are spiritually passive and if we pawn off this duty to our wives or to the church. In some church traditions, the fathers are responsible to catechize their children. I think this is something we Baptists need to consider, where we teach the great doctrines of the faith to our children in the home.

Much more could be said, but I want to devote a few minutes to the question, Should children honor parents who are clearly not worthy of it? And, if so, how?

3. Children should seek to honor parents even if they are not worthy of honor.

The Fifth Commandment does not say, “Honor your parents if they deserve it.” While it is far easier to honor godly parents, we are still obligated to honor our parents, even if they do not deserve it. I realize that some have had parents who have abused them emotionally, physically, and sexually. Some have had drunken or drug-addicted parents who have selfishly neglected their children. Some have been hated and rejected by their parents. But the command still applies, “Honor your father and mother.” Jesus says to love even our enemies (Matt. 5:44), which may include your parents. So even if it is difficult, you must work at it. Briefly, here are three biblical principles that apply:

(1) Deal with any bitterness and forgive your parents from your heart. Forgiving those who have sinned against us is not optional. Jesus said that if we do not forgive our fellow men, our heavenly Father will not forgive us (Matt. 6:15). I have trouble fitting that into my theology, but there’s no mistaking the fact that Jesus considered forgiveness a major, mandatory requirement of the Christian life. Granting forgiveness in our hearts does not mean naively restoring trust in the relationship. If your father molested you sexually, forgiving him does not mean trusting your kids to be alone with him. But it does mean rooting out any bitterness toward God, who sovereignly allowed this sin against you, and toward your father who committed it. It also means granting him forgiveness verbally apart from his deserving it the minute he repents (Eph. 4:32). Also, you may have to ask forgiveness for any rebellion or other sins you have committed against your parents, even if they provoked it.

(2) Demonstrate a godly attitude toward your parents. Often when young people from a troubled home get saved, they go back home, often with a well-intended zeal in the Lord, but by their attitude they communicate ingratitude and disrespect for their parents and the way they’ve raised them. They often come across with a spiritual pride that conveys to the parents, “You’ve been terrible, sinful, worldly people who did not raise me properly. But now I’ve found the truth, and I’ve come to set you straight and ask you to repent.” When the parents don’t respond enthusiastically to this message, the young person sniffles about being persecuted for the sake of righteousness or, even worse, is openly defiant or demeaning toward the parents.

The main way a Christian young person should bear witness to his parents is by a godly attitude of honor and submission, even when your parents do things to mistreat or provoke you. If they ask about the changes they see in your behavior, of course you give the glory to Jesus Christ through sensitive verbal witness. But your main witness should be through your godly attitude.

(3) Practice deeds of love and kindness toward your parents, even when they mistreat you, with a view to leading them to Christ. Even if your parents are selfish pagans who treat you like dirt, you are God’s main link to them with the gospel. Even if they never respond or respond with meanness, you can be kind and caring toward them. If you live in another city, you can write to them, send them cards or gifts on special occasions, or call and let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you care. You certainly should pray often for their salvation, since that is their primary need.

This does not mean that it’s necessary to cater to your parents’ every demand or give up a life of your own to make them happy. Some parents are very controlling and would not be happy no matter how much you do for them. But still we must not abandon them and we should seek the Lord for ways we can show them His love and kindness.

Conclusion

A Grimm’s fairy tale tells about an old man who lived with his son and daughter-in-law because he had no where else to go. The old man’s hands trembled. When he ate, he clattered the silverware, often missed his mouth with the spoon, and dribbled some of his food on the tablecloth. The daughter-in-law hated having him there because he interfered with her right to happiness. So she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly and led him to a corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes.

One day his hands trembled more than usual and he dropped the bowl, which broke. “If you are a pig,” said the daughter-in-law, “you must eat out of a trough.” So they made him a little wooden trough, and he got his meals in that.

This couple had a four-year-old son they were quite fond of. One night the father noticed the boy playing intently with some bits of wood and he asked what he was doing. “I’m making a trough,” he said, smiling for approval, “to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.”

The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. Then they cried a little. Then they went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and fed him his dinner on a plate. From then on nobody scolded him when he clattered or spilled or broke things. (Told by Joy Davidman, Smoke on the Mountain.)

If we dishonor our parents, we will reap dishonor ourselves. More than that, we will undermine the foundations of society. Wherever you’re at in life, I ask, “Are you keeping the Fifth Commandment?” If you are, it will go well with you and you will be blessed by God. It is the first commandment with a promise.

Discussion Questions

1. Does a child dishonor abusive parents by reporting them to proper authorities? Why/why not?
2. Does honoring our parents imply never confronting their sins? How can we know what to accept and what to confront?
3. What guidelines apply in determining whether an elderly parent should live with you?
4. What does biblical forgiveness imply in practice?

Copyright 1996, Steven J. Cole, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, © The Lockman Foundation

 
 

Este artículo fue traducido al español por una máquina.

 

P. ¿Qué es la homosexualidad?

 

La homosexualidad es la manifestación del deseo sexual hacia un miembro de su propio sexo o la actividad erótica con una persona del mismo sexo. (Los homos palabra griega significa lo mismo). Una lesbiana es una mujer homosexual. Más recientemente, el término "gay" ha entrado en uso popular para referirse a ambos sexos que son homosexuales.

 

P. ¿Cómo se determina si la práctica de la homosexualidad es buena o mala?

 

Eso depende de quién está respondiendo a la pregunta. El punto de vista cristiano, se basa únicamente en la Biblia, la Palabra de Dios divinamente inspirada. Una norma verdaderamente cristiana de la ética es la conducta de la revelación divina, no de la investigación estadística ni de la opinión pública. Para el cristiano, la Biblia es la autoridad final para la creencia y conducta.

 

P. ¿Qué explícitamente enseña la Biblia sobre la homosexualidad?

 

Esta cuestión que considero fundamental, ya que si aceptamos la Palabra de Dios sobre el tema de la homosexualidad, nos beneficiamos de su respuesta adecuada a este problema. Me preocupa sólo con el punto de vista cristiano o bíblico de la homosexualidad. La Biblia tiene mucho que decir acerca de los pecados sexuales en general.

 

En primer lugar, hay adulterio. El adulterio en el sentido natural es la relación sexual de una persona casada con alguien que no sea su cónyuge propio. Es condenado en ambos Testamentos Antiguo y Nuevo (Éxodo 20:14; I Cor 6:9, 10.). Cristo prohíbe la vivienda en los pensamientos, el libre juego de la imaginación que conduce al adulterio (Mateo 5:28).

 

En segundo lugar, hay fornicación, los actos sexuales ilícitos de personas no casadas que está igualmente prohibido (I Corintios 5:1; 6:13, 18; Efesios 5:3).

 

Luego está la homosexualidad que también es condenada en las Escrituras. El apóstol Pablo, escribiendo por inspiración del Espíritu Santo, declara que la homosexualidad "no heredarán el reino de Dios" (I Corintios 6:9, 10). Ahora bien, Pablo no solo el homosexual como un delincuente especial. Él incluye los fornicarios, idólatras, adúlteros, ladrones, personas codiciosas, borrachos, maldicientes y estafadores. Y luego añade el comentario de que algunos de los cristianos de Corinto habían sido liberados de estas mismas prácticas: "Y esto erais algunos de vosotros, pero ya habéis sido lavados, ya habéis sido santificados, ya habéis sido justificados en el nombre del Señor Jesús , y por el Espíritu de nuestro Dios "(I Corintios 6:11). Todos los pecados mencionados en este pasaje son condenadas por Dios, pero al igual que había esperanza en Cristo para el Corinthians, por lo que hay esperanza para todos nosotros.

 

La homosexualidad es un ilícito lujuria prohibida por Dios. Él le dijo a su pueblo Israel, "No te echarás con varón como con mujer: es abominación" (Levítico 18:22). "Si un hombre también echarás con varón como se acuesta con una mujer, ambos han cometido una abominación hicieron se le dará muerte; su sangre será sobre ellos" (Levítico 20:13). En estos pasajes homosexualidad es condenada como un excelente ejemplo de pecado, perversión sexual. El cristiano no puede alterar la perspectiva de Dios ni apartará de él.

 

En la Biblia, la sodomía es un sinónimo de homosexualidad. Dios habló claramente sobre el asunto cuando dijo: "No haya ramera de entre las hijas de Israel, ni haya sodomita de entre los hijos de Israel" (Deuteronomio 23:17). La puta y el sodomita están en la misma categoría. Un sodomita no era un habitante de Sodoma ni un descendiente de un habitante de Sodoma, sino un hombre que se había entregado a la homosexualidad, y el vicio contra la naturaleza para que Sodoma fue known.1 Veamos los pasajes en cuestión:

 

Pero antes de que se establezcan, los hombres de la ciudad, los varones de Sodoma, rodearon la casa alrededor, tanto viejos como jóvenes, toda la gente de cada trimestre:

 

Y llamaron a Lot, y le dijeron: ¿Dónde están los varones que vinieron a ti esta noche? Sácalos, para nosotros, para que podamos conocerlos.

 

Entonces Lot salió a la puerta a ellos, y cerraron la puerta tras él, y dijo: Os ruego, hermanos míos, que no hagáis tal maldad.

 

He aquí ahora yo tengo dos hijas que no han conocido varón; déjame, te lo ruego, sacarlos a vosotros, y haced de ellas como bien os pareciere: solamente á estos varones no hagáis nada, pues por lo que fue objeto de la sombra de mi tejado. (Génesis 19:4-8)

 

La palabra hebrea para "conocer" en el versículo 5 es yada ', un término sexual. Se utiliza con frecuencia para referirse a las relaciones sexuales (Génesis 4:1, 17, 25, Mateo 1:24, 25). El mensaje en el contexto de Génesis 19 es clara. Lot rogó a los hombres a "no hacer tal maldad." La homosexualidad es maldad y debe ser reconocido como tal cosa no hay esperanza para el homosexual que está pidiendo ayuda para ser sacado de su camino pecaminoso de vida.1

 

P: Usted dijo que las relaciones sexuales fuera del matrimonio está condenado en la Biblia. ¿Cómo se explica ceremonias de matrimonio en el que dos personas del mismo sexo están unidos por un clérigo oficiante o juez de paz?

 

Hay casos registrados donde se haya expedido una licencia de matrimonio a personas del mismo sexo. Recuerdo un incidente de este tipo en Phoenix, Arizona. Una licencia de matrimonio fue emitida en la oficina del secretario del condado de Maricopa a dos hombres 39 y 21 años, respectivamente. Los dos hombres se informa, han "casado" en una ceremonia privada.

 

Sin embargo, para llamar a una unión de dos personas del mismo sexo, un "matrimonio" es un nombre inapropiado. En la Biblia, el matrimonio es una institución divinamente ordenado diseñado para formar una unión permanente entre un hombre y una mujer con un propósito (entre otros) de la procreación o la propagación de la raza humana. Ese fue el orden de Dios en la primera de esas uniones (Génesis 1:27, 28; 2:24; Mateo 19:5). Si, en Su creación original de los seres humanos, Dios había creado dos personas del mismo sexo, no habría una raza humana en la actualidad. La idea de dos personas del mismo sexo casarse es erróneo absurdo, ridículo irracional, estúpido. Un clérigo puede bendecir un matrimonio homosexual, pero Dios no lo hará.

 

P. Un sacerdote jesuita, John J. McNeill, según los informes, dijo en una conferencia (Christianity Today, 3 de junio de 1977), "No hay condenación clara de la actividad homosexual que se pueden encontrar en la Biblia." ¿Cómo puede un líder de la iglesia llegar a esa conclusión?

 

Este particular sacerdote jesuita, al igual que algunos otros teólogos supuestamente cristianas, han ignorado totalmente las Escrituras como las directrices para el comportamiento cristiano en lo que se refiere a la homosexualidad. McNeill no habla por la Iglesia Católica Romana, pero para un pequeño segmento de los sacerdotes que, habiendo prometido al celibato, es decir, abstenerse de matrimonio y las relaciones sexuales, han encontrado la satisfacción sexual en actos homosexuales.

 

Sin embargo, los pecados sexuales son a menudo practicadas y / o condonada por los líderes religiosos. Los líderes religiosos de ambos lados del Atlántico han gradualmente se apartó de la Scriptures.1 En Inglaterra los hombres como el obispo John Robinson, en su libro lo juro por Dios hizo una obra de teatro sobre el término "La nueva moral", que en realidad era una súplica a abrir la puerta a la inmoralidad por lo que es respetable y aceptable así. El obispo fue tan lejos como para describir la relación adúltera bíblico como "una especie de sagrada comunión". Este concepto moderno de la ética cristiana rechaza totalmente los preceptos establecidos por Dios en Su Palabra. Es blasfemo y ateo.

 

Recientemente en Estados Unidos diez organizaciones religiosas con orientación homosexual, compuestos por hombres y mujeres de las denominaciones más de una docena, y de diecisiete estados y Canadá, se reunieron en Kirkbridge, un refugio y centro de estudios cerca de Bangor, Pensilvania. El retiro fue titulado, "gay y cristiano". Sin embargo, los dos términos, "gay" y "cristiano" son mutuamente excluyentes, incompatible e incongruente.

 

En representación de las mujeres en ese retiro, Nancy Krody lesbiana, habló sobre "La Experiencia Cristiana lesbiana." También en este caso es un nombre inapropiado. Un cristiano practicante, desde el punto de vista bíblico, no será un homosexual practicante. Por supuesto, hago la distinción entre un cristiano y un cristiano practicante. Llamando a sí mismo un cristiano no hace a uno cristiano.

 

Malcolm Boyd habla sobre "La Experiencia Cristiana Gay Male." Boyd, un clérigo protestante, dice que ha sido un homosexual en secreto durante años. Sólo recientemente hizo un anuncio público de su homosexualidad. Afirma que su anuncio público de su homosexualidad le ha traído de nuevo a la iglesia. Boyd no nos dice lo que quiere decir la "iglesia"!

 

Lo que sigue es un punto en el que los oradores en Kirkbridge acuerdo: "Una relación monógama homosexual se caracteriza por la fidelidad, la honestidad y el amor es posible, deseable y honrar a Dios."

 

Cualquier mal condenadas en las Escrituras no se puede honrar a Dios. Homosexuales líderes religiosos intentan suavizar los saltos y los lugares ásperos con terminología cristiana para que predomina la euforia, pero Dios no está en él. Una persona verdaderamente nacido de nuevo, que ama y entiende la Biblia como revelación de Dios para él, no tolerará un mal que Dios condena. "Si sabéis que él es justo, sabed también que todo el que hace justicia es nacido de él" (I Juan 2:29). "Pero el fundamento de Dios está firme, teniendo este sello: Conoce el Señor a los que son suyos. Y, vamos a todo aquel que invoca el nombre de Cristo apartarse de la iniquidad" (II Timoteo 2:19). Homosexuales practicantes se dedican a un mal divinamente prohibida.

 

P. ¿Por qué los homosexuales se refieren a sí mismos como "gay"?

 

La palabra "gay" significa alegre, exuberante, brillante y vivaz. Más recientemente ha sido adoptado por homosexuales. En su uso original no contaba con este doble significado. La adaptación inteligente de la palabra "gay" por los homosexuales lo ha despojado de su sentido puro, con lo que corromper a una palabra una vez perfectamente bien. Yo nunca uso la palabra "gay" para referirse a homosexuals.1

 

P: Usted se refirió a Primera de Corintios 6:9-11. ¿Cuál es el significado de la palabra "afeminado" en el versículo 9?

 

Hay ciertas palabras en todos los idiomas que pueden ser utilizados en un sentido bueno o malo. En el contexto de este versículo, el uso de "afeminado" es, obviamente, en el mal sentido. Se enumera entre otros males que están condenados. En él se describen las cualidades femeninas inapropiados a un hombre. Es normal y natural que una mujer sea sexualmente atraída por un hombre, sino que es anormal y antinatural que un hombre sexualmente atraído por otro hombre. Muchos hombres homosexuales son afeminados, pero no todos. Tampoco todas las lesbianas excesivamente masculino.

 

P. ¿Hay otros pasajes del Nuevo Testamento que se refieren a la homosexualidad?

 

Sí. Romanos 1:24-27; I Timoteo 1:10 y Judas 7. Si se toma en serio estas Escrituras, la homosexualidad se reconocerá como un mal. El pasaje de Romanos es inequívocamente clara. Pablo atribuye la depravación moral de los hombres y mujeres a su rechazo a "la verdad de Dios" (1:25). Ellos se negaron "a Dios en su conocimiento" (1:28), con lo que destronar a Dios y divinizar a sí mismos. El Antiguo Testamento ha condenado claramente la homosexualidad, pero en los días de Pablo había aquellas personas que rechazaron su enseñanza. Debido a su rechazo de los mandamientos de Dios castigó sus pecados mediante la entrega de ellos a la misma.

 

La filosofía de la sustitución de la Palabra de Dios con un razonamiento propio comenzó con Satanás. Él lo introdujo al principio de la raza humana, al sugerir a Eva que ella ignora las órdenes de Dios, asegurándole que, al hacerlo, ella sería como Dios con el poder de discernir entre el bien y el mal (Génesis 3:1-5). Esa fue la gran mentira de Satanás. Pablo dijo que cuando una persona rechaza la verdad de Dios, su mente se convierte en "réprobos", es decir vacío de sonido judgment.1 La mente reprobada, después de haber rechazado la verdad de Dios, no es capaz de discernir bien y el mal.

 

En Romanos 1:26-31 veintitrés pecados punibles con la homosexualidad aparecen encabezando la lista. Pablo escribió: "Por esto Dios los entregó a pasiones vergonzosas, pues aun sus mujeres cambiaron el uso natural por el que es contra naturaleza, y de igual modo también los hombres, dejando el uso natural de la mujer, se encendieron en su lascivia unos con los otros, hombres con hombres cometiendo hechos vergonzosos y recibiendo en sí mismos la retribución debida a su extravío "(Romanos 1:26, 27). Estos versículos nos dicen que los homosexuales sufren en su cuerpo y la personalidad de las consecuencias inevitables de su mal proceder. Tenga en cuenta que el comportamiento de los homosexuales se describe como un "afecto vil" (1:26). La palabra griega traducida como "vil" (atimia) significa sucio, sucio, malo, deshonroso. La palabra "amor" en griego es pathos, usado por los griegos ya sea de un deseo bueno o malo. Aquí, en el contexto de Romanos se utiliza en un sentido malo. El "afecto vil" es una pasión degradante, una vergonzosa lujuria. Tanto el deseo (codiciar) y el acto de homosexualidad son condenados en la Biblia como pecado.

 

P. ¿Hay esas personas que dicen que la homosexualidad, a pesar de que una forma anormal de la práctica ordenada por Dios de sexo, es un problema genético, constitucional hereditaria. ¿Hay evidencia para apoyar este punto de vista?

 

Leí en un periódico que en junio de 1963 un grupo de especialistas en medicina, psiquiatría, derecho, sociología y teología participó en una conferencia sobre la homosexualidad convocada por la Unión Iglesia Evangélica Suiza. Ese grupo llegó a la conclusión de que la homosexualidad no está constitucionalmente heredadas, que no es una parte de su composición genética. La. Infundada y el mito de que los resultados no verificable homosexualidad por causas genéticas se va desvaneciendo

 

Posiblemente hay un número de diferentes formas en que las prácticas homosexuales podrían comenzar. Cuando los niños y las niñas llegan a la pubertad y el desarrollo de los órganos genitales, no es raro que los niños experimenten con los niños y las niñas con las niñas. En las prisiones donde los hombres y las mujeres se les niega el acceso a las personas del sexo opuesto durante largos períodos de tiempo, algunas se introducen a la homosexualidad por primera vez.

 

Una joven cristiana vino a nuestra oficina en Detroit para el asesoramiento. Ella se involucró en el lesbianismo cuando su matrimonio comenzó a fallar. Ella se presentó a su primera experiencia homosexual con una mujer divorciada que era su vecino. Después de seis meses de practicar el lesbianismo fue declarada culpable de su pecado y buscaron ayuda. Pudimos mostrarle en la Biblia que ella estaba pecando y que Dios estaba listo y dispuesto a perdonar y purificarla. Ella confesó y abandonaron su pecado, y continúa hasta nuestros días para vivir una vida feliz y cristiana normal.

 

La homosexualidad debe ser aceptada por lo que Dios dice que es - el pecado. Algunos homosexuales intentará eludir la clara enseñanza de la Biblia con la respuesta de que son la manera en que Dios hizo ellos.1 No hay la más mínima evidencia en las Escrituras para apoyar este concepto falso. Dios no creó al hombre con un denominado "necesidad homosexual". Ningún bebé nace homosexual. Cada bebé nace hombre o mujer. En cada lugar que la Biblia se refiere a la homosexualidad, el énfasis está en la perversión de la sexualidad. La práctica homosexual es culpable de "dejando el uso natural de la mujer" (Romanos 1:27), lo que significa que su comportamiento es "contra natura", como en el caso de la lesbiana (Romanos 1:26). Dado que la homosexualidad se opone a la ley y el orden regular de la naturaleza, el concepto genético debe ser descartado por completo. Si la homosexualidad fuera un problema genético, no habría esperanza para el homosexual, simplemente porque no hay manera de que los genes de una persona pueden cambiar.

 

P. ¿Existen factores que contribuyen a la homosexualidad para que un homosexual no puede ser responsable?

 

Sí, yo creo que los hay. Yo no he hecho mucha investigación en esta área, sin embargo, los estudios realizados por otros mostraron desviaciones variadas respecto a la media o normal entre padres e hijos. Por ejemplo, los casos clínicos muestran que algunos homosexuales no han tenido una relación normal o natural con el progenitor del mismo sexo. En algunos casos ha habido una gran distancia entre padre e hijo. Hay algunos niños que han sido abandonados por sus padres afectuosos. El niño que no ha tenido una relación buena y sana con su padre podría tener una necesidad insatisfecha de una relación de padre con un hombre. Ahora, esa necesidad no empiezan como una relación sexual, pero hay casos registrados en los que la relación sexual se ha desarrollado. Conozco un caso de un adulto homosexual que sedujo a un niño de 13 años cuyo padre le había abandonado. Antes del contacto del niño con el hombre de más edad que no tenía conocimiento alguno de la homosexualidad. El hombre más viejo seducir al chico.

 

Lesbianismo se ha sabido que siguen este mismo patrón. Algunas relaciones entre madre e hija no son propicias para un desarrollo social y sexual normal. Una joven vino a su ayuda pastor buscando. Se había metido con una lesbiana en la comunidad donde vivía, una mujer de veintiún años mayor que ella. Los padres de la niña tuvo un matrimonio defectuoso que terminó en divorcio cuando la hija tenía diez años de edad. Su madre se volvió amargado y resentido contra todos los hombres. Ella convenció a su hija de que los hombres no eran de fiar, y que el hombre es un objetivo era explotar sexualmente a las mujeres. La hija creció con el miedo de los hombres, un miedo totalmente injustificada. Ella fue una víctima fácil de la seductora lesbiana más. El pastor bueno y sabio mostró el aconsejado por la Biblia que la homosexualidad era un pecado y que Dios lo condenó. Ella confesó su pecado a Dios y recibió a Jesucristo como su Salvador y Señor. Hoy ella está felizmente casada con un hombre cristiano bien.

 

P. ¿Cree que la controversia homosexual está causando problemas a las iglesias de los Estados Unidos?

 

El mal en cualquier forma es un problema en la iglesia. Siempre lo ha sido. El mayor problema, sin embargo, es el fracaso de la iglesia para disciplinar el mal cuando se presenta. Karl Menninger libro, Lo que pasó con el pecado?, Trata directamente con ese punto. Hay ministros, sacerdotes y rabinos que nunca hablan de pecado. Hubo un momento en que el ministro de la Palabra de Dios predicada todo el consejo de Dios. Hoy en día muchos púlpitos guardan silencio sobre la cuestión del pecado. El pecado se ha puesto de moda y por lo tanto aceptable. Cuando el pecado llega a su víctima en dificultad grave, el psiquiatra y el psicólogo le dicen que está enfermo. La iglesia tiene que enfrentar el hecho del pecado de frente.

 

P. ¿La Biblia nos dice cómo la iglesia debe tratar con los pecados sexuales?

 

En los tiempos del Antiguo Testamento en Israel Dios trató severamente con los homosexuales. Él advirtió a su pueblo por medio de Moisés: "Si un hombre también echarás con varón como se acuesta con una mujer, ambos han cometido una abominación hicieron se le dará muerte; su sangre será sobre ellos" (Levítico 20: 13). Cada Judio sabía que la homosexualidad es una abominación, una práctica repugnante que odiaba, odiaba. Esta fue la actitud de Dios hacia los que practican el mal. Odiaba la medida en que lo consideró digno de la pena de muerte. Ahora bien, Dios amó a Su pueblo Israel entrañablemente, y que era de su gran corazón de amor que Él los castigó. La Epístola a los Hebreos dice: "Porque el Señor al que ama, disciplina, y azota a todo el que recibe por hijo" (Hebreos 12:7). Cuando Dios dio su ley que prohíbe la homosexualidad, y el castigo para aquellas personas que violan esa ley, lo hizo con el fin de evitar pecar. Sin embargo, cuando alguien violó la ley, el infractor paga la multa que se le debe. Dios es un Dios santo que odia y juzga el pecado. Los padres que aman a sus hijos no se abstendrá de advertirles de los males imperantes, ni van a dejar de castigarlos cuando desobedecen. La iglesia de hoy no sólo tolera el pecado, pero en algunos casos se condona. Dios no hace ninguna.

 

En el Nuevo Testamento, el principio de la disciplina se aplica con autoridad apostólica. En la iglesia de Corinto, el joven que estaba cometiendo fornicación con su madrastra fue excomulgado. Pablo instruyó a la iglesia a tomar esa acción "en el nombre de nuestro Señor Jesucristo ... y con el poder (es decir, la autoridad) de nuestro Señor Jesucristo" (I Corintios 5:1-8). En Romanos 1:21-32, donde Pablo muestra al mundo gentil en su caída a la baja en el pecado, incluyendo el pecado de la homosexualidad, el versículo 32 concluye con las palabras: "quienes habiendo entendido el juicio de Dios, que los que practican tales cosas son dignos de la muerte ... "Digno de la muerte, sí. Pero hoy no estamos bajo la ley sino bajo la gracia. La gente solía escuchar y prestar atención a la verdad evangélica, el mensaje de que Dios es santo, el hombre es un pecador, y que por medio de la fe en la muerte vicaria y resurrección corporal de Jesucristo, la gente pecadora puede nacer de nuevo y por lo tanto liberado de la culpa y la pena y la práctica de sus pecados.

 

P: ¿Tiene alguna sugerencia o recomendación para la iglesia?

 

Nada es más fundacionalmente esencial para la Iglesia y para el mundo que un retorno a la verdad. Hace poco leí que alguien dijo que estamos sufriendo una hambruna de la peor clase ", una verdad de la hambruna". Nuestra cultura moderna está en una degeneración, etapa deterioro causado por una desviación de la verdad. Y debo decir inequívocamente que la verdad no existe independientemente de Dios y Su Palabra escrita la Biblia, y de Su Hijo Jesucristo. La verdad está en ningún sentido de la imaginación del hombre o artificio. El hombre en su estado caído no sabe la verdad, y es por eso que continúa seguir pecando. Una civilización sin la verdad está condenado al olvido. Cada civilización antigua que ignora a Dios y Sus leyes se ha derrumbado. Nuestra civilización actual está en el buen camino de la perdición. No podemos sobrevivir independientemente de Dios y Su Palabra.

 

La Iglesia tiene que volver a la verdad, toda la verdad, la suma total de la verdad fundarse y fundamentarse en Aquel que dijo: "Yo soy la verdad" (Juan 14:6). En la oración sacerdotal de nuestro Señor por los Suyos Él oró: "Santifícalos en tu verdad: tu palabra es verdad" (Juan 17:17). Debe haber en nuestras iglesias la exposición clara de las Escrituras y una exaltación continua de la Persona y la obra del Señor Jesucristo si nuestra civilización ha de ser salvado de los desastres que superaron las civilizaciones del pasado. Cualquier civilización con una filosofía o una doctrina que niega la verdad no puede sobrevivir.

 

P. ¿Ve usted algún significado profético en el auge reciente homosexual?

 

Sí, así es. Sin embargo, me permito sugerir precaución en este punto. No es raro que los predicadores darle un significado profético para cada terremoto, disturbios, guerra, escándalo moral o político de desastres, el etiquetado de todos estos acontecimientos como "signos de los tiempos".

 

El upsweep homosexual moderno es una fase de una tendencia a la baja en la moral. Cuando los discípulos le preguntaron a nuestro Señor: "¿Qué señal habrá de tu venida, y del fin del siglo?" Él les dijo que "haberse multiplicado la maldad" (Mateo 24:3, 12). En la actualidad existe una permisividad y la promiscuidad en un comportamiento sexual sin precedentes en la historia de América. Hay poco de moderación en el extendido de material que contenga imágenes y escritos que describen el comportamiento erótico destinado a causar excitación sexual. Esto se incluirá en la profecía de nuestro Señor acerca de abundante iniquidad.

 

Hay también una declaración profética en Segunda Epístola de Pablo a Timoteo, que tiene algo que ver con en el tema que estamos discutiendo. Pablo dijo: "También debes saber esto: que en los postreros días vendrán tiempos peligrosos. Porque habrá hombres amadores de sí mismos, avaros, vanagloriosos, soberbios, blasfemos, desobedientes a los padres, ingratos, impíos, sin afecto natural ... "(II Timoteo 3:1-3). La homosexualidad es un afecto natural, practicado por personas "que los sodomitas" (I Timoteo 1:10), traducido en el New American Standard Version "homosexuales", y en la Nueva Versión Internacional, "pervierte". Llego a la conclusión, a la luz de las Escrituras, que el aumento de la homosexualidad es muy definitivamente una tendencia que indica la proximidad del fin de los tiempos.

 

P. ¿Ha asesorado personalmente con los homosexuales?

 

Sí, en dos pastorados durante un período de veinticinco años. En cada caso el homosexual era un hombre de unos treinta años que había seducido adolescente de edad los varones. La seducción de las personas más jóvenes es un patrón de la mayoría de los homosexuales siguen. Parece que prefieren satisfacer su lujuria con la juventud. Este es un patrón típico de los hombres que se casan con varias mujeres. Los hombres que no respetan sus votos matrimoniales persiguen a las mujeres más jóvenes que ellos. Un hombre rico se casó y se divorció de informes, seis veces. La mayoría de sus esposas eran lo suficientemente jóvenes para ser sus hijas. Los dos hombres homosexuales que solicitaron una licencia de matrimonio en la Oficina del Secretario del Condado de Maricopa en Arizona fueron 39 y 21 años de edad, una gran variación en las edades.

 

P. ¿adjuntar ningún significado para el factor de la edad que usted ha mencionado?

 

Sí, así es. Veo una amenaza potencial para los jóvenes que están expuestos a los homosexuales. Mayores homosexuales practicantes son una amenaza para la juventud.

 

P. ¿Le importaría hacer cualquier comentario sobre la cruzada Anita Bryant en Dade County, Florida?

 

A mi juicio Anita Bryant se justificaba la acción que se persigue. Ella no quería que sus hijos expuestos a la influencia de un homosexual que practica en el aula de la escuela pública. Dado que la homosexualidad se clasifica en la Biblia como un mal, para insistir en que los niños sean expuestos a los profesores homosexuales en las escuelas públicas sería una violación a los derechos de los padres y sus hijos. Bajo ninguna circunstancia voy a permitir que mis hijos sean sometidos a la influencia de un sexo a. Practicando homosexual.1 Como ciudadano estadounidense, considero que la elección sea mi derecho Anita Bryant puso su carrera en juego en la posición audaz y valiente que daba. Ella no debería tener que luchar la batalla solos. Los cristianos deberían apoyarla.

 

P: ¿Cuál debe ser la actitud del cristiano hacia el homosexual?

 

Debemos tener siempre ante nosotros el hecho de que los homosexuales, al igual que todos nosotros, pecadores, son los objetos del amor de Dios. La Biblia dice: "Mas Dios muestra su amor para con nosotros, en que siendo aún pecadores, Cristo murió por nosotros" (Romanos 5:8). Jesús Cristo "es la propiciación por nuestros pecados: y no solamente por los nuestros, sino también por los pecados de todo el mundo" (I Juan 2:2). El cristiano que comparte el amor de Dios por los pecadores perdidos tratará de llegar al homosexual con el evangelio de Cristo, el cual "es poder de Dios para salvación a todo aquel que cree" (Romanos 1:16). Como cristiano, me debe odiar todo pecado pero no puedo encontrar ninguna justificación para odiar al pecador. El homosexual es una preciosa alma por quien Cristo murió. Los cristianos podemos mostrarle la mejor forma de vida, señalando a Cristo. Nuestro Señor dijo: "Id por todo el mundo y predicad el evangelio a toda criatura" (Marcos 16:15). Estamos obligados a llevar el Evangelio a todos.

 

P: ¿Cómo podemos ayudar a los cristianos que se involucran en la práctica de la homosexualidad?

 

Podemos ayudar buscando llamar su atención a lo que Dios dice en Su Palabra. En un espíritu amable y amoroso que podemos demostrarles que están equivocados. Sin embargo, el homosexual que admitir que el hecho de que él está viviendo en pecado y que él tiene el deseo de ser libre de ella. Sin una convicción genuina del desagrado de Dios y un fuerte deseo de hacer la voluntad de Dios, no hay esperanza. Una persona verdaderamente nacida de nuevo no puede continuar practicando el pecado sin cosechar los resultados de infelicidad infeliz provocada por la pérdida de la comunión con Dios, el temor a las represalias y la ansiedad producida por la culpa. El homosexual debe preguntarse: "¿Es la gratificación temporal de la carne vale la pena todo y pérdidas que deben sufrir?"

 

1 editado por bible.org

 

December 27, 1992

One of the realities of our modern, fast-paced world is stress. We constantly hear of people being stressed out or going through burnout. The Holmes-Rahe stress test assigns points for various traumatic situations in life. The death of a spouse rates 100. The Christmas season rates 12 points. If you took a vacation at Christmas, throw in 13 more points!

I read about a woman who was the classic “Type A,” always under self-imposed stress. Her friend, who was determined to get her to relax, invited her to dinner and, while she was busy fixing dinner, urged the harried woman to watch a video on stress management. Fifteen minutes later she came into the kitchen, handed her friend the tape, and said, “It was good, but I don’t need it.”

“But it’s a 70-minute video,” the well-meaning friend replied. “You couldn’t have watched the whole thing.” “Yes, I did,” the stressed out one replied. “I put it on fast-forward.” (Reader’s Digest [7/90], p. 68.)

We may wonder if the Bible, written thousands of years before many of the stress-inducing factors of our modern world, could have much to say about how to deal with stress. But David went through stress like few of us have ever experienced. He wrote about it in Psalm 31. Most of us have never been under the stress of having someone determined to kill us. But David had a whole team conspiring together on the project (31:4, 13)! They had slandered him and had managed to turn friends and neighbors against him (31:11). Furthermore, David could see a connection between his current troubles and his own sin (31:10; NIV, “affliction” = iniquity or guilt), so he had to wrestle with guilt on top of everything else. But we do know that it was written when David was in the pressure-cooker! He tells us how to deal with stress.

Whatever stresses you face now or in the coming year, David faced equal or greater ones. This psalm isn’t coming to you out of the ivory tower of a king, but from the crucible of a man who has been there. In 31:14-15a, David gives us the key to handling stress in our lives: “But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in Your hand.” To personalize it,

My response to stress should be personal trust in the sovereign, personal God.

You will note that 31:15 refers to ...

1. “My times”—The reality of stress.

Both David’s times and ours are marked by instability. The word “times” refers to the uncontrollable changes of life. John Calvin commented: “He does not use the plural number [“times”], in my opinion, without reason; but rather to mark the variety of casualties by which the life of man is usually harassed” (Calvin’s Commentaries [Associated Publishers & Authors], 2:351). The word causes us to reflect upon the instability and changeableness of life. We may think we control our times, but we don’t. One day David was a powerful king; the next he was running for his life from his rebellious son.

We never know what stresses a new year will bring. A few pressure-points are predictable, but most are not. The predictable changes relate to the facts of aging and changes in the life-cycle. For example, some of you will be graduating from high school or college and starting a career. Others will be entering upon married life for the first time this year. Others will be having their first child. For others, their first child will be entering school. Still others will be the parents of a teenager for the first time this year. Some of you may be waving good-bye as the last one leaves the nest. Others may be facing retirement. All of those changes are predictable, but they will cause stress and will require some adjustments.

Other changes we face will be quite unpredictable and unannounced. They will barge into our lives like an intruder in the night. It may be your own or a family member’s sudden loss of health. It could be the death of a family member or even your own death. Perhaps an aging parent will require large chunks of your time and energy.

Some may lose their jobs, and with it, a large part of their identity. That change in life can put tremendous stress not only on the individual, but also on the family. Did you know that 85% of men who are unemployed for nine months or more divorce? Some of you may find yourself going through the pain of a divorce that you never asked for or planned upon. Some may be hit with severe financial set-backs which force an unplanned move to another locale. But whether predictable or unpredictable, the new year holds changes that will produce stress. I want to make three observations about stress from this psalm before we move on:

A. The time to prepare for stress is before it hits.

It’s obvious from Psalm 31 that David knew God in a very personal, practical and thorough way before he got into the crisis that prompted the psalm. Note the many attributes of God David recites throughout the psalm: God is a refuge and shelter (1, 19, 20). He is righteous (1) and will judge righteously (23). He is a rock of strength (2, 3). He hears and answers prayer (2, 22). He is a stronghold and fortress (2, 3), David’s source of strength (4). He is the God of truth (5) and of lovingkindness (7, 16, 21). He is all-knowing (7) and gracious (9) in that He forgives and doesn’t cast off the rejected (implied in 9-13). He has unlimited storehouses of goodness for those who fear Him (19), even if they are going through the worst of trials.

David didn’t learn all that about God out of the blue in the middle of this calamity, although he no doubt deepened his knowledge of God through the distress. David had begun to know God through His Word (Ps. 19) as a boy tending his father’s sheep. Even then God knew David as a man after His own heart (1 Sam. 13:14). So when the crisis hit, David had resources in God to lean on.

Proverbs 1:20-33 also makes this point: The time to get wisdom is before the calamity strikes. Otherwise, if we wait to call out for wisdom when we’re in the crunch, wisdom will laugh at us. If you’re not in a crisis, it’s time to sink down roots in the Lord that will enable you to weather the inevitable storms that will come. Spend time alone with God and His Word, feeding your soul. Let His Word confront your life with sin that needs to be dealt with. You’ll be ready for the crunch.

If you’re already in a crisis and you don’t know God as David did, seek Him like you never have before! He is gracious and may meet you there, if your heart is right. But the time to prepare for stress is before it hits.

B. Even if our stress is the consequence of sin, we can take refuge in God.

David recognized that, in part, his own sin was behind the crisis he was in (31:10). This leads me to think that the psalm was written in connection with Absalom’s rebellion, which was a consequence of David’s sin with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 12:10-11). God will forgive our sin if we confess and forsake it (Prov. 28:13), but He doesn’t necessarily remove the consequences (Gal. 6:7-8). But David’s experience shows that even if our calamity is the direct result of our sin, we can still run to God for refuge and comfort and know that He will receive us!

It’s significant that David’s enemies were still condemning him long after God had forgiven him. They were talking against him, making his name a reproach (31:1, “ashamed”; 11, “reproach”; 13, “slander”; 17, “put to shame”; 20, “strife of tongues”). No doubt they were calling him a hypocrite: He claimed to follow God, but he was guilty of murder and adultery. And, what’s more, the charges were true! But David’s enemies didn’t know the sincerity of David’s repentance or the magnitude of God’s grace.

We must never condone sin, but we must be careful not to judge or reject repentant sinners. Thank God that He is gracious and through the blood of Jesus forgives all our sin, or which of us could be here today!  Yes, in His righteousness He often makes us suffer the temporal consequences of our sin. But we need to experience and model the fact that even if our stress is the result of our sin, we can take refuge in our gracious God.

C. God will never allow us to go through more stress than we can bear if we trust in Him.

“God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted [or, ‘tried’] beyond what you are able” (1 Cor. 10:13)! Though David’s trial was terrifying, so that he despaired even of life itself (31:13), God gave him strength to endure. God isn’t into easy solutions. He doesn’t usually remove the trial the instant we seek Him. But none who have waited on Him have found Him to fail. “He gives more grace when the burdens grow greater!”

It’s only when we trust God in the midst of severe distress that we prove His faithfulness in our own experience. Often it’s the waiting for God to deliver us that’s the most difficult thing. Think of Joseph, languishing for the better part of his twenties in the Egyptian dungeon, his feet in irons, never seeing the daylight. Why? Because he obeyed the Lord by resisting the advances of Potiphar’s wife! Why didn’t God answer his prayers? We know the outcome, but for years, Joseph didn’t know that one day he would be released from prison and promoted to second in the land. But because Joseph trusted in God, he could later say to his brothers, “You meant it for evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Gen. 50:20).

Stress will be a reality for every one of us in the coming year. But if we prepare for it in advance by sinking roots with God; if we take refuge in Him, even if the stress is a result of our sin; and, if we remember that God will never allow us to go through more stress than we can handle, we will grow stronger through it.

But there’s a second, vital factor that we need to keep in mind about stress, as seen in 31:15:

2. “God’s hand”—The reality of the sovereign, personal God.

David’s “times” may have been unstable and changing; but David’s God was stable and unchanging (31:2, 3, “rock,” “fortress”). And David’s times were in the hands of David’s God. David was not subject to the whims of those who sought his life. His life was in God’s hands, and he was invincible until God wanted him to die. One of the most comforting truths to remember in trials is that they are under the control of the sovereign, personal God.

A. The God who holds our times in His hands is a sovereign God.

Daniel 2:21 uses this same Hebrew word for “times”: “It is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings ....” Our God is not sitting on the edge of heaven, biting His nails as He sees the rebellion of the human race unfold. As David wrote about God’s attitude toward rebellious world rulers, “He who sits in the heavens laughs, the Lord scoffs at them” (Ps. 2:4).

God has a sovereign plan for all of history. He is working all things after the counsel of His will (Eph. 1:11) so that even the wrath of man will praise Him (Ps. 76:10). We can know that when tragedy strikes us, God was not asleep or on vacation. His sovereignty is a great comfort in a time of trial.

I read (“Tabletalk” [11/92], pp. 18-19) of a pastor and his wife who were called home from a summer vacation with the news that their four-year-old, who was staying with friends, had been flown to a pediatric intensive care unit. The diagnosis: acute lymphocytic leukemia. That same summer, their newborn underwent surgery to repair a cleft lip and the wife was laid low with a degenerated disc.

The pastor shared how his knowledge of God’s loving sovereignty was a rock of refuge to him in this crisis. But he also told of how many people recommended to him Rabbi Harold Kushner’s best-seller, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People, whose thesis is that God is good, but not sovereign and all-powerful. Thus God can’t help all the suffering that is happening in the world. The pastor wrote, “... incredibly, suffering people are supposed to find comfort in this. Am I really supposed to be relieved to know that there are forces in this world outside the control of God?” God’s sovereignty is a tremendous comfort: Your times and mine are in His mighty hand!

B. The God who holds our time in his hands is personal God.

“You are my God” (31:14). The flavor of the whole psalm is personal and intimate. Although God is sovereign, He is also personal and can be known intimately. A lot of people think that the sovereignty of God means that He is cold and distant. They have a deterministic view of life. They’re like the guy who strongly believed in predestination, who fell down the stairs. He got up, dusted himself off and said, “I’m glad that’s over with.”

But note 31:7: “You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul.” God is not severe and distant, off in some corner of the universe saying, “I ordained it; now grit your teeth and endure it.” God is sovereign, but He’s also personal and caring. If you’ve trusted in Christ, you can call Him “my God,” because He knows you and you know Him. Even during trials, you can know that “He cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7).

You may be thinking at this point, “Well, then, if God is sovereign and if my times are in His hands, then there’s nothing left for me to do. Whatever will be, will be.” Not so. There is a third element. “My times” points to the reality and instability of stress. “God’s hand” points to the reality and stability of the sovereign, personal God. “But as for me, I trust in You” points to:

3. My response—The reality of personal trust.

Personal trust in the sovereign, personal God gives us inner stability in the midst of outer instability. Trust is the vital link that connects God’s sovereign love with my distress. When I trust God in the midst of a stressful situation, He doesn’t usually remove the source of the stress immediately, but He gives His stability in the midst of the crisis. That’s where David was at when he wrote this psalm--still in the crisis, but experiencing God’s stability in the midst of it because he was trusting in God.

There is a sense, of course, in which your times are in God’s hand whether you trust in Him or not. But that’s not the sense in which David’s times were in God’s hand. David’s times were in God’s hand because David deliberately determined to put them there! It wasn’t an automatic response. The word “I” (31:14) is strongly adversative and emphatic. David is saying, “No matter what my enemies may do to me, no matter whether former friends abandon me, for my part, I am going to trust the Lord.” It was a personal, conscious, deliberate choice. Trust always is.

Note 31:2-3: “Be to me a rock of strength ... for You are my rock ....” That sounds like doubletalk, doesn’t it? But it isn’t. Notice the two words, “to me.” There is the key! There is personal trust. “What You are in Your very nature, O God, a rock and a stronghold, be that to me in my current crisis!” David is taking the revealed character of God and bringing it down into his own experience in a personal, conscious, deliberate manner. That is personal trust.

Maybe you’re thinking, “I’ve tried that, but I just keep taking my problems back on myself and getting anxious all over again!” Welcome to fallen, self-reliant humanity! Guess what? David did the same thing! Derek Kidner (Psalms [IVP], 1:130) observes that this psalm is unusual in that it makes the journey from anguish to assurance twice over: In 31:6-8 David reaches a point of calm trust, but then he plunges back into anxiety in 31:9-13 before reaffirming his trust in 31:14-24. The psalms are so true to life!

Personal trust is like that—you wrestle with your anxieties and finally cast them on the Lord and experience His peace. Then you take the whole thing back on yourself and struggle again with your fears. But then you focus on God and who He is and deliberately affirm your trust in Him all over again. But the point is, trust is not passive resignation to fate. Trust is actively, personally laying hold of the character of God as revealed in His Word and applying it to your particular crisis. When you know this God—the God of David—as your God, then you experience His stability in the midst of unstable circumstances. You can handle whatever stress comes upon you because you have placed your times into the hand of this sovereign, personal God.

Conclusion

It’s interesting that Jonah echoed a phrase from this psalm when he cried out to the Lord from the belly of the great fish (Jon. 2:8; Ps. 31:6a). Jeremiah, whose message was rejected and whose life was often threatened, often borrowed another phrase from the psalm as his motto (Jer. 6:25; 20:3, 10; 46:5; 49:29; Lam. 2:22; Ps. 31:13). As an old man, the author of Psalm 71 (perhaps David himself), took refuge in God by praying the words of Psalm 31:1-3. But most significantly, the Lord Jesus had meditated on this psalm so often that His final words from the cross were a quote from Psalm 31:5: “Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46). He endured the supreme stress of bearing our sins by entrusting Himself to the sovereign, personal God! So must we!

Some of you parents have had the experience of taking your young toddler into a swimming pool. The water is over his head, even in the shallow end, but you’re holding him up. But as you go out into the deeper water, the child panics and he clings to you all the more tightly. You’re still touching the bottom and holding him up, but the deeper water scares him more than the shallow water did, even though the shallow water was deep enough to drown him.

This year, some of you are going to feel like you’re in over your head. The stress will seem overwhelming and you’ll feel like you’re out of control. Guess what? We’re never in control, even when we proudly think that we are! God wants us to see that we’re always in over our heads! We’re dependent on Him for the next breath we take and for our daily food. Our response to stress, whether it comes from the big crisis or from the daily routine, should be consciously, deliberately to put our trust in the sovereign, personal God who is never in over His head. We need to put our times in His hand.

Discussion Questions

1. Is God’s sovereignty a source of comfort or consternation to you? Why?
2. How can a person who lacks faith increase in faith?
3. Agree/disagree: Burnout is evidence of a lack of trust in God?
4. Is it true that God will never give us more stress than we can bear? What are the implications of this?

Copyright 1992, Steven J. Cole, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, © The Lockman Foundation

December 31, 2006

What do the following people have in common: the drunk on skid row; the student flunking out of college because he never studies; the person who is always late for appointments; the compulsive eater; the smoker; the man who frequently looks at pornography on the Internet; the drug addict; and, the Christian who never grows because he doesn’t spend time alone with God? Answer: They all lack the fruit of the Spirit, which is self-control.

In my almost 30 years of pastoral ministry, I would say that the presence or absence of self-control is one of the most determinative factors in whether you will do well or have serious problems in your Christian life. It affects how you manage your time; your money; your ability to overcome temptation; your development of godly character qualities; controlling your temper and your tongue; regulating your health (through proper diet, exercise, and rest); and, most importantly, whether or not you spend consistent time in the Word and prayer.

Since we are on the eve of a New Year, which always reminds me of how quickly life flies by, I thought that it would be helpful to look at what God’s Word says about this often-neglected fruit of the Holy Spirit, self-control. I have a tough sales job on my hands, because we’re all suckers for the quick fix for problems that require sustained discipline. An ad promises, “Just pop a pill and you can eat chocolates all day long and lie around on the couch watching TV, but you’ll lose 50 pounds!” People actually spend their money on such gimmicks! But you can promise them a sure-fire way to lose weight that won’t cost them a dime, but they won’t do it: Eat healthy food in the proper amount and exercise for an hour every day. Why won’t they do it? Because it requires self-control!

The spiritual fruit of self-control, while guaranteed to be effective, is not a quick fix. It requires a lifetime habit of discipline for the purpose of godliness (1 Tim. 4:7). You will be tempted by spiritual snake-oil hucksters, who tell you that if you will just get slain or baptized in the Spirit, all of your temptations will evaporate. Don’t believe them! Discipline for the purpose of godliness is God’s prescribed means to godliness. Our text shows that…

God wants you to learn to control your life under the control of His Holy Spirit.

We will examine the subject by answering three questions: What is self-control? How do you get it? Where do you need it?

What is self-control?

• Self-control is the inward rule or regulation of every area of your life under the ultimate authority and control of God’s Spirit in line with His Word.

The Greek word comes from a root word meaning power or lordship. The Jewish writer, Philo, described it as having superiority over every desire (Walter Grundmann, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, ed. by Gerhard Kittel [Eerdmans], 2:340-341). In our text, it stands in opposition to the deeds of the flesh, which are (Gal. 5:19-21), “immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these.” Paul lists “self-control” as a qualification for elders (Titus 1:8). Peter includes it in his list of godly qualities that we must develop (2 Pet. 1:6). By definition, self-control means overruling your emotions because of a higher goal. Because you want to please and honor God, you must go against your feelings of the moment.

1. Self-control is primarily inward and only secondarily outward.

Jesus said (Mark 7:21-23), “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.” It follows that if we only control such evil desires in order to look good in front of people or to avoid being prosecuted by the law, we are just putting a Band-Aid on the cancer of the heart. The control of the Holy Spirit extends to the heart level, allowing us to deal with temptation before it goes any farther.

2. Self-control operates under Spirit-control.

There is a paradox here: to be Spirit-controlled results in being self-controlled. As we walk by the Spirit (Gal. 5:16), He produces in us the ability to control every area of our lives in line with His holy purposes. This implies active responsibility on your part. Sometimes, speakers on the spiritual life state that you are to be completely passive: “Just let go and let God.” “If you’re striving, you’re not trusting.” This is clearly unbiblical. Paul wrote (Col. 1:29), “For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.” Both are true. The fruit of the Spirit is self-control.

3. Self-control is not self-willed, but it is connected with your will.

In Titus 1:8, Paul says that an elder is to be self-controlled, but in the previous verse, he says that an elder must not be self-willed. Clearly, both are connected with our responsibility to choose (our will). But the difference is, the self-controlled person is submitting himself to God’s will as revealed in His Word, whereas the self-willed person is acting for his own selfish desires, disregarding what God wills. Because God has given us new life in Christ and has given His Holy Spirit to indwell us, we have both the responsibility and the ability to yield our self-will to His revealed will.

4. Self-control is not legalism.

If you develop this fruit of the Spirit, some Christians will label you as legalistic. But this quality appears in the Book of Galatians, which was written to combat legalism. Legalism is the attempt to earn standing with God by performing certain duties or behavior. Also, legalists attempt to look spiritual to others by keeping their man-made rules and they judge those who do not keep their rules. To live as a godly Christian, you must live openly before God, who examines the heart (1 Thess. 2:4).

Living under God’s grace, by the way, does not mean that God gives you a bunch of free passes on sin each day, or that you can live a, hang-loose, sloppy, unproductive life. Paul wrote (1 Cor. 15:10), “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them [the other apostles]; yet not I, but the grace of God with me.”

5. Self-control is not asceticism.

Asceticism means denying yourself certain legitimate comforts and imposing certain hardships for some spiritual value. Join a monastery where you eat a meager diet, sleep on a hard mat in a cold room, and take a vow of poverty in order to control the flesh. Paul describes that approach (Col. 2:20-22) and concludes (2:23), “These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.”

At the same time, Paul does mention the example of an athlete, who exercises self-control in all things in order to win (1 Cor. 9:25). He goes on to say that he disciplines his body so that he will not be disqualified from preaching the gospel. Thus your motive for controlling yourself is crucial. For example, a missionary to the Muslims may not eat pork, because to do so would be a needless offense to Muslims. But not to eat pork because you think it will make you more spiritual would be asceticism.

6. Self-control is not rigid, but flexible.

There is the danger of being so self-controlled that you lose the ability to relate spontaneously to others in love. For example, it is good to be disciplined to read your Bible and pray every day. But suppose you’re in the middle of your quiet time, and your two-year-old exuberantly jumps into your lap to show you his picture that he colored for you. I would suggest that you are not properly self-controlled under the Spirit’s control if you push him away, saying, “Can’t you see that I’m reading the Bible!” The fruit of self-control is also accompanied by the fruits of love, patience, kindness, and gentleness. The aim of self-control is always to enable us to love God and to love others. If we use self-control merely for selfish purposes, we are not exercising this fruit of the Spirit.

How do you get self-control?

Some, by natural temperament and perhaps by upbringing, are more inclined to self-control than others are. If you are not so inclined, then you will have to fight harder to develop it. Paul does not say that those who by nature are more free-spirited or disorganized are exempt from this quality! A study of both Paul and Jesus will show that they exhibited this fruit. To be godly, you must be self-controlled. In one sentence:

• You get self-control by walking in the Spirit’s control as you live in accordance with God’s purpose for your life.

Here is how to implement this step by step:

1. Write a one-sentence purpose statement for your life.

Granted, there is no verse in the Bible that specifically tells you to do this. But many verses show that Jesus and Paul both were clear about their purpose for living. Consider:

Matthew 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Luke 19:10: “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”

John 17:4: “I glorified You on earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.”

1 Corinthians 9:23: “I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.”

Philippians 3:8a, 12b: “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…. I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.”

1 Timothy 4:7b: “discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.”

These and many other verses show that Jesus and Paul were men of godly purpose. Picture yourself on your deathbed and ask, what do you want to have accomplished with your life? Here is my personal purpose statement: “To glorify God by being a godly husband and father, and by using my gift of pastor-teacher for the building up of the body of Christ and the furtherance of the gospel.” Every Christian will desire to glorify God. Beyond that, your statement will vary, depending on your personality and gifts. But write it down and look at it often, so that you are clear on why God has you on this earth.

2. Establish biblical goals for every area of your life to help move you towards your life purpose.

Paul illustrates this with the analogy of an athlete who wants to win (1 Cor. 9:24-27). To get to that goal, he brings every area of his life under that purpose. He controls his diet, he gets the proper rest, and he schedules regular workouts to move him towards the goal of winning the prize.

Again, this will vary with each person, depending on where you most need to grow. You should determine these goals from the Bible, not from some worldly self-help book. They will include biblical character qualities that you need to develop, and biblical activities that you need to practice. Your goals should include developing loving relationships, properly managing your time and money in light of God’s purposes, and being a good steward of the spiritual gifts that He has given you. Write down your goals.

3. Commit yourself to these goals.

Biblical goals provide the motivation to change, but you must count the cost and be willing to commit yourself to them. I’ve often wished that I could speak a foreign language, but I’ve never committed myself to achieve that goal. As you know, there are no easy ways to learn a language. It takes time and discipline to do it well. Before you commit to some spiritual goal, think about what it will require and whether you are willing to commit to follow through. Your motive has to be to please God.

4. Plan specifically how to reach these goals.

You need to prioritize and schedule your goals. If your marriage is falling apart because you have a bad temper, you should make controlling your temper a top goal! If your life is dominated by drug or alcohol abuse, you can’t begin to glorify God until you get those sinful practices under control. Prioritize them!

Also, you must rearrange your schedule to put these new priorities in place. It will mean getting up in time to spend time in the Word, in Scripture memory, and in prayer. It may mean scheduling a weekly time to meet with a small group for growth and accountability. It may mean breaking off certain harmful habits that pull you down, whether ungodly friendships at the local bar or watching TV shows that defile you. You may have to limit computer use.

5. Implement, evaluate, and correct your goals as necessary.

Put your plan into action and then take a few minutes every week or two to evaluate your progress and make necessary corrections. You may decide that some of your original goals need to be modified or changed altogether. When you get certain things into place as godly habits, you can add new goals.

6. Walk by means of the Holy Spirit every day.

This undergirds the whole process. Note Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” He goes on to talk about the strong desires of the flesh that war against the Spirit. If you do not conquer these desires, you will not grow in godliness. You don’t win wars accidentally! You must devote yourself to the battle, committed to fight with everything you’ve got. Anything less will result in defeat.

To walk by the Spirit means to depend upon and yield to the indwelling Holy Spirit moment by moment every day. Walking is not as spectacular as leaping or flying, but if you keep at it, you’ll get where you’re going. Also, the picture of fruit implies a slow, deliberate process. There will be setbacks and difficulties along the way. The question is, are you actively, purposefully walking by the Spirit, coming back to dependence on Him when you have fallen, so that over the long haul, the fruit of the Spirit, including self-control, is growing in your life?

Where do you need self-control?

If you haven’t been convicted yet, this ought to do it! In a nutshell,

• You need self-control in every aspect of your life.

Let me briefly mention seven areas. Rather than being overwhelmed because you need to improve in all seven, prayerfully evaluate where you most need to grow and prioritize these.

1. Control your body.

Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you are to glorify God with your body (1 Cor. 6:19-20). This includes getting proper rest (avoiding the extremes of laziness and being a workaholic). It means getting proper exercise and eating a healthy diet of moderate proportions, so as to avoid the problems that come from eating junk food and being overweight. This will vary from person to person, but none of us can do it without self-control.

Controlling your body also requires godly control over your sexual desires. God made you with those desires, but He also designed them to be restricted to the marriage relationship.

2. Control your mind.

Our culture, more than any other in history, bombards us through the media with ungodly ways to think and live. To be godly, you must control your mind (Phil. 4:8; Col. 3:1-4). What do you think about? You cannot engage in a secret life of lust after sex or greed and become godly. To control your thought life, control what you read. Saturate your mind with the Bible and with books that help you grow in godliness. Set some goals, such as reading through the Bible in a year, or reading a certain number of Christian books this year. Put these things in your schedule.

Control what you expose your mind to (TV, movies, Internet, etc.). You cannot watch certain types of movies without those evil images embedding themselves in your brain.

3. Control your emotions.

You are not the helpless victim of your emotions! If you are genetically prone to depression or anxiety or impulsiveness or lust, you may have to battle harder to gain control than someone else will. But these fruits of the Spirit are promised to all that walk by the Spirit, not just to certain personality types. If you live by constantly yielding to your emotions, you will not grow in godliness. Self-control means controlling your emotions for a higher goal.

4. Control your time.

Often we excuse our ungodliness by saying, “I don’t have time.” But we all have time to do what we want to do. The question is, do you want to be godly? If so, cut out of your schedule the unnecessary things that hinder spending time with the Lord.

5. Control your finances.

We often complain that we don’t have enough money to pay bills, let alone to give consistently to the Lord’s work. But usually the problem is that we do not properly manage what the Lord has entrusted to us. Let me put it bluntly: Cable TV, dinners out, and expensive entertainment are not necessities! If you can pay your bills and give generously to the Lord’s work, those things may be permissible. Unless you need it for work, believe it or not, a cell phone is not a necessity! Running up credit card debt is almost always due to poor financial management.

6. Control your tongue.

Abusive speech or words that tear down others (even in jest) are sinful (Col. 3:8). Angry words and name-calling are sins (Eph. 4:29-32). Lying is sin (Eph. 4:25). Talking inappropriately about sex and telling dirty jokes are sins (Eph. 5:3-4). Gossip and slander are sins (Eph. 4:31; James 4:11). Taking the Lord’s name in vain is sin (Exod. 20:7; Matt. 6:9). Paul wrote (Eph. 4:29), “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” To please God, you must learn to control your tongue (James 3:1-12).

7. Control your relationships.

I do not mean to act in a controlling manner towards others! I mean that you must take the initiative to distance yourself from anyone that pulls you towards the world or the flesh. Be careful about relationships with unbelievers, especially those that yoke you unequally, whether in marriage or in business (2 Cor. 6:14-18). If you are single, do not date unbelievers, even to witness to them. If you develop friendships with unbelievers, be careful to keep in mind the aim of being a godly witness, so that you do not join them in godless pleasure (Luke 5:29-32; 1 Pet. 4:1-5).

Positively, work on developing godly, loving relationships, beginning with your mate and children. Practice biblical love on a daily basis. Ask God for a more mature person (men with men, women with women) who can help you grow in Christ.

Conclusion

The danger of a message like this is that you will feel so overwhelmed by all that you need to do that you will be paralyzed by procrastination. My advice is to pray through the areas that I’ve mentioned, asking God to help you prioritize them. Work on the one or two areas that would bring the most needed results. If you fall, get up and keep walking by the Spirit. As you do, He will work in you the fruit of self-control for His glory.

Application Questions

1. Have you ever written out a purpose statement for your life in light of God’s purpose? When will you make time to do it?
2. How does self-control differ from legalism? Why does God’s grace not lead to sloppy living, but to self-controlled living?
3. When is it okay to yield to an impulse or mood and when is it sin?
4. Someone may argue that to deny your emotions for a higher goal will lead to repressed feelings and psychological problems. How would you answer this biblically?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2006, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation