Numerous polls over the years have shown that anywhere from one-third to almost one-half of Americans claim to be born again Christians. But before we celebrate, we should also note that the same polls indicate that there is no appreciable difference between the way that professing born again Christians live and how the rest of the culture lives.

Christians, including Christian leaders, have an atrocious rate of sexual immorality, whether viewing pornography on the Internet or actually engaging in sexual sin (see Leadership [Winter, 1988], pp. 12, 24). Evangelical Christians actually have a slightly higher divorce rate than the rest of the American population! We watch the same amount and the same content of filthy TV shows and movies as the population at large.

One researcher found that half of baby boomers claiming to be born again say that religions other than Christianity are equally good and true. One-third of that group believes in reincarnation and astrology. Nearly half support abortion rights (Wade Clark Roof, Spiritual Marketplace: Baby Boomers and the Remaking of American Religion, reported in “The Watchman Expositor,” vol. 18, # 1, 2001, p. 22). A 2001 survey indicated that two-thirds of adults who attend conservative, Protestant churches question whether absolute moral truth exists (cited by John MacArthur, The Truth Wars [Thomas Nelson], p. 216, from the barna.org web site)!

In light of these alarming conditions, Paul’s words scream at us (4:17, my translation): “This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk….” This refers to what he is about to say. Therefore goes back to his exhortation (4:1) to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.” From 4:4-16, he developed how the worthy walk pertains to church unity and maturity.

Now, he turns to how the worthy walk affects personal holiness. Affirm means to testify as in court, when you summon a witness. It shows that Paul isn’t giving some helpful hints that you may want to try if you feel like it. He is giving the Lord’s commandments for how His people must live. Together with the Lord should be translated, in the Lord. It points to Paul’s source of authority—the Lord Himself—and to the sphere in which both he and his readers now live. By God’s mercy, they have been rescued from this present evil age and now live as new creatures in Christ.

Paul paints this graphic portrait of how unbelievers live, which is how the Ephesians had lived before they met Christ. It is a shorter version of a similar picture in Romans 1:18-32. Paul is showing that when you become a Christian, there must be a distinct break from the past. People should be able to see clearly the difference in your life, so that they wonder, “What happened?” His message is quite simple:

Believers must not live as unbelievers live.

In verse 17 Paul makes a general statement about how unbelievers live, “in the futility of their mind.” In verse 18, he shows why they live this way. It is not easy to chart the relationship of the four clauses in verse 18 (commentators differ). But the idea seems to be that the reason unbelievers live in the futility of their mind is that they are darkened in their understanding and alienated from the life of God. The reason they are alienated from the life of God is that deep within them, they are ignorant of God. They do not know Him. The reason for this ignorance is that their hearts are hardened due to sin. Then in verse 19, he shows where this kind of futile lifestyle inevitably leads, namely, into giving themselves over to unbridled and insatiable sensuality and impurity.

Romans 1:21 parallels our text, “For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” He goes on to describe their plunge into moral degradation.

Our text reveals five ways that unbelievers live, that we must not follow. Paul describes them with the word walk. A walk is a way of life. A true Christian may fall into these behaviors on occasion, but they should not be characteristic of his lifestyle.

1. Don’t live as unbelievers, who walk in the futility of their minds.

Futility is the same word that is used 36 times in Ecclesiastes (LXX) translated, vanity. “‘Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher, ‘Vanity of vanities!’ All is vanity” (Eccl. 1:2). It comes from a Hebrew word meaning breath or vapor. It refers to anything transitory, frail, or lacking in substance. Solomon had tried to find satisfaction through knowledge, through wealth and all that it affords, and through the pleasures of music and art and women. He had houses and lands with beautiful gardens and ponds. But none of it brought fulfillment. He observed that even if you have all of these things, you live a few years and then die. It is all futility, striving after the wind (Eccl. 2:17).

We could picture a child chasing soap bubbles. He grabs one, but it bursts in his hand, leaving him with nothing. One early Christian writer gives examples of building houses of sand by the seashore, chasing the wind, shooting at the stars, or pursuing one’s shadow (Gregory of Nyssa, cited by R. C. Trench, Synonyms of the New Testament [Eerdmans], p. 181). None of these activities results in anything of lasting value or significance.

Many unbelievers live for a purpose, even for noble purposes. Some aim to use their money for benevolent causes. Some want to find a cure for cancer or help others who are victims of disease. Some want to go into politics so that they can help our country be a better place. Some want to teach children so that they can have a better life. These are all good purposes that benefit society.

But, if they do not take God and eternity into consideration, what is gained? You live a few years and help a few people and then you die. Those who are helped may benefit for a few years before they die, or they may discard all that you have labored to get for them. Or, someone else may come along and undo everything that you have accomplished. It’s all vanity or emptiness, unless it is done in light of God and eternity (1 Cor. 15:58).

Paul says that the futility of those without God exists in the mind. He is referring to their entire inner being, personality, or soul (Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Darkness and Light [Baker], p. 33). Paul emphasizes the mind in these verses: mind (4:17, 23); understanding, ignorance (4:18); learn (4:20); taught (4:21).

To live in the futility of the mind is to think and live without any regard for God and eternity. It is to live for selfish gratification or fleeting pleasure, without regard to the consequences, whether in this life or in eternity. It is to live according to the world’s philosophies that leave God out. Philosophers speculate about this and that, but they don’t have solid answers for life’s problems in light of death and eternity. Paul is saying, “Don’t live that way!” Don’t live as if God did not exist. Don’t live as if Christ had not died for your sins. Don’t live as if there were no judgment or no heaven or no hell. Don’t live in the futility of your mind.

Let me be very practical. If you want to avoid living in the futility of your mind, think often about your death. Join Jonathan Edwards, who as a young man resolved, among many other things, “to think much, on all occasions, of my dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death” (The Works of Jonathan Edwards [Banner of Truth], 1:xx). You may think that that is morbid, but it is a vital principle for wise living! Then, keeping the shortness of life in view, join Moses in praying (Ps. 90:12), “So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.” In light of standing before God and in light of what you know of His Word, how do you want to spend the fleeting years that the Lord gives you? When you look back from the end, what do you want to have accomplished in light of eternity?

Then, in light of these godly purposes, prayerfully think through and write down some goals that will move you in that direction this week. These will vary depending on where you’re at right now. Maybe establishing a regular time alone with God in the Word and in prayer is where you need to start. If some besetting sin trips you up, devise a practical, biblically based plan to overcome that sin. Review and revise these goals from time to time. Don’t just drift through life as unbelievers do, living for the next momentary pleasure. Don’t live in the futility of your mind. Live with godly purpose in light of eternity.

2. Don’t live as unbelievers, who walk in the darkness of their understanding.

This idea is similar to that of living in the futility of their mind, but it goes further in explaining why they live that way: their understanding is darkened. When man sinned, it plunged the human race into mental darkness and alienation from God. People’s minds were cut off from knowing God. They became incapable of reasoning through things from God’s perspective. They were not able to understand spiritual truth (John 8:43-47). As Paul wrote (2 Cor. 4:4), “the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” Or (1 Cor. 2:14), “But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.” Or, as we saw (Rom. 1:21), “their foolish hearts were darkened.” When sin came into this world, the lights went out spiritually.

Even though we inherited this spiritual darkness from Adam, we are responsible for it. We can’t blame Adam! We can’t blame God, who decreed that Adam’s sin would be imputed to the entire human race. If you say, “That’s not fair,” you are sinning with incredible arrogance to accuse the Sovereign of the universe of being unfair! And, the fact is, if you had been in the garden instead of Adam, you would have done the same thing that he did. So, each person is responsible for his own spiritual darkness.

Not only are unbelievers darkened in their understanding, but also they love it! Jesus said (John 3:19-20), “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” So the biblical picture is not that sinners are crying out, “O, if only I could see!” No, they’re partying in the dark and don’t want the light to expose their sin.

Paul says, “Don’t live that way! Don’t walk around with a darkened understanding!” To put it positively (1 John 1:7), “walk in the Light, as He Himself is in the Light.” Again, Paul is referring to the understanding, to how you think. As a Christian, you need to be renewed and transformed in your mind (Eph. 4:23; Rom. 12:2) through God’s Word. Sound doctrine about God, man, sin, salvation, and every area of life is the foundation for spiritual understanding and light. Become a biblical thinker about every issue that you face, whether how to relate to others, how to manage your time and money, or how to act on the job.

3. Don’t live as unbelievers, who walk in alienation from the life of God.

Being “excluded from the life of God” further explains why unbelievers walk in the futility of their minds. They are dead in their sins (Eph. 2:1). They lack new life from God. Becoming a Christian is not a matter of eliminating sinful behavior and replacing it with moral behavior, although that will follow. Becoming a Christian is a matter of receiving new life from God. As Jesus said (John 3:16), whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

In the 18th century, John and Charles Wesley and George Whitefield, along with some others, formed a club at Oxford called “The Holy Club.” Through self-denial, discipline, good works, and reading and studying their Greek New Testaments and other books, these young men sought to be holy. But it all stemmed from human effort. None of these young men were born again.

Then, George Whitefield read a little book, The Life of God in the Soul of Man, written in the previous century by a young Scotsman, Henry Scougal. Whitefield said that by that book, “God showed me that I must be born again, or be damned! I learned that a man may go to church, say his prayers, receive the sacrament, and yet not be a Christian. How did my heart rise and shudder, like a poor man that is afraid to look into his account-books, lest he should find himself a bankrupt.” (Cited in Arnold Dallimore, George Whitefield [Cornerstone Books], 1:73.) Whitefield thought of throwing that book away, but instead he searched it more and asked God to make him a real Christian. He came to realize that being a true Christian involves “a union of the soul with God, and Christ formed within us” (ibid.). It was the first time that he realized that he must become a new creature.

After a lot more effort and agony of soul, he finally came to reject all self-trust and cast himself on the mercy of God through Christ. He said, “God was pleased to remove the heavy load, to enable me to lay hold of His dear Son by a living faith, and by giving me the Spirit of adoption, to seal me even to the day of everlasting redemption” (ibid., p. 77). After that, God used George Whitefield’s preaching to bring many from empty religion to new life in Jesus Christ. Paul is saying to us, “Don’t live as unbelievers do, being excluded from the life of God.” Make sure that you have eternal life through genuine faith in Jesus Christ!

4. Don’t live as unbelievers, who walk in spiritual ignorance due to hard hearts.

The phrase, “because of the ignorance that is in them,” explains why unbelievers are alienated from the life of God. They do not know God personally. Ignorance translates the Greek word from which we get our word, agnostic. It means to be without knowledge. It is ironic that agnostics often boast of their great knowledge, as if it were their knowledge that led them to their “enlightened” state of not knowing if there is a God! But, Paul traces their spiritual ignorance to something else, namely, to “the hardness of their heart.” (The KJV wrongly translates it, “blindness,” but the word means, “hardness,” as in a stone.) The person who is hard of heart ignores God and His commands. He refuses to bow before God as the sovereign Lord. Hardness of heart results in not knowing God. That spiritual ignorance due to sin is why unbelievers are cut off from the very life of God.

This means that people are not agnostics because they have intellectual problems with the Bible. Rather, they are agnostics because of moral rebellion against God. They want to live as they please, not as God commands. In order to justify and excuse their sinful lifestyle, they have to get rid of God.

So, they claim that they have intellectual problems with the existence of God. They may use evolution or the problem of evil and suffering in the world, or whatever. But get through the smokescreen and behind it you will find sin. They do not want to acknowledge the existence of God because they know that they are in big trouble if He exists! When you’re talking with such a person and he throws at you some intellectual objection to the gospel, ask him, “Are you saying that if I can give you a reasonable answer to that problem, you would follow Jesus Christ as Lord?” Invariably, he will say, “Well, no, there are a lot more problems.” But keep pushing him and the real problem will become evident: he does not want to submit to Jesus as Lord. He loves his sin!

Paul says, “Don’t live that way!” As a believer, be seeking daily to know the living God in a more intimate way. Submit every area of your life to Him. Don’t let sin harden your heart and produce doubts and spiritual ignorance. Finally,

5. Don’t live as unbelievers, who walk in callused sensuality and insatiable moral impurity.

Verse 19 describes the final result of this downward spiral into sin. To become callous means to cease to feel pain; thus, spiritually, it is to “lose the capacity to feel shame or embarrassment” (Peter O’Brien, The Letter to the Ephesians [Eerdmans/Apollos], p. 322). The first time a person commits a sin, he thinks, “I’ll just do it this once.” But, after he does it, his conscience bothers him. He feels guilty. But, the next time, it’s a bit easier. He rationalizes it by thinking, “Well, others do worse!” Each time, it becomes easier to sin as his conscience develops a spiritual callus. Finally, he gives himself over to sin with abandon. He has no shame about it. In fact, he goes on TV talk shows to boast about it!

In Romans 1:24, 26, 28, there is the repeated frightening phrase, “God gave them over.” But here, they “have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.” It is describing the same thing from the sinner’s perspective. Sensuality refers to a person who casts off all restraint and has no regard even for public decency. It is to be openly, shamelessly in violation of God’s moral standards. In this context, impurity with greediness probably refers to an insatiable appetite for sexual sin. For the practice of has the nuance of making an occupation out of impurity! Pursuing sensuality and greed feeds on itself, because what once was new, exciting, and pleasurable soon becomes boring and unfulfilling. So the sinner has to seek new depths of perversion. Like using drugs, giving yourself over to sensuality and impurity becomes enslaving.

Paul says, “Don’t live like that!” Jesus said that we must cut off such sin as we would cut off our hand or pluck out our eye (Matt. 5:29-30). Keep your conscience tender towards God! Do not give yourself over to sin. It never satisfies and it always enslaves!

Conclusion

Some of you may be thinking, “Paul is being kind of extreme here. I know many unbelievers who don’t fit his dire description in these verses. They are decent, moral people. They are faithful in their marriages. They love their children. They are responsible to work and pay their bills. They’re good neighbors. So, how does what Paul says here apply to them?”

Consider two things. First, in His grace, God restrains people from being as bad as they possibly could be. If God let all sinners go, the human race would have self-destructed centuries ago. The doctrine of “total depravity” does not mean that people are as bad as they can be. Rather, it means that sin has tainted every part of our being. It corrupts our minds, our emotions, our will, and our bodies. But because of His grace, God restrains the evil of the fallen human heart, so that unbelievers may be kind, loving, and responsible people.

Second, God looks not only on the outward behavior, but also on the heart. God’s assessment when He looked on the wickedness of the human race just before the flood was (Gen. 6:5), “every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” After the flood, God’s assessment did not change. He said (Gen. 8:21), “for the intent of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” As Jeremiah 17:9 puts it, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?”

If God were to let any one of us go, indwelling sin would impel us toward all manner of evil and corruption. We should not look on someone who fits the description of verse 19 and say, “How can he do that?” Rather, we should look at verse 19 and say, “There but for the grace of God, am I!” So, even as believers, we must get into the habit of instantly judging our own sin on the heart level. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind through God’s Word and you will not live as unbelievers live.

Application Questions

1. How would you counsel a person who claimed to be born again and yet was living as verse 19 describes?
2. How should a believer prioritize which biblical goals to pursue when there are so many?
3. I said that people are not agnostics due to intellectual problems, but due to moral problems. What implications does this have for witnessing?
4. How can a believer keep a tender conscience? Is it possible to have an overly sensitive conscience? Where’s the balance?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2008, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

One of the greatest moral issues that we all struggle with is that of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The book, The Day that America Told the Truth, states (p. 45) that 91 percent of us lie regularly (cited by Alistair Begg, “Cedarville Torch, Fall, 1994, p. 15). “Of the people interviewed, 92 percent said the main reason for their lying was to save face, and 98 percent said the reason they told lies was so as not to offend people” (ibid.).

Another survey of 20,000 middle- and high-schoolers indicated that 92 percent admitted to lying to their parents in the previous year, and 73 percent said that they told lies weekly. Despite these admissions, 91 percent of all respondents said they were “satisfied with my own ethics and character” (Reader’s Digest [Nov., 1999], pp. 81-82). Their consciences were insensitive to their sin!

Lest you think, “Well, these surveys were probably taken among pagans,” pollster George Gallup indicts us when he says, “church attendance makes little difference in people’s ethical views and behavior with respect to lying, cheating, pilferage, and not reporting theft” (cited by Vernon Grounds, “Focal Point” [Summer, 1995], p. 8).

We bend the truth in many ways. There is the half-truth. You sort of tell the truth, but not the whole truth. You tell your employer, “I wasn’t feeling well,” which was sort of true. But, in reality, you were not so ill as to miss work. You just wanted to do something else. Or, there is the white lie, a supposedly “innocent” lie that doesn’t hurt anyone. “Yes, your new hairdo is beautiful!” “Thank you, I just love fruitcake!”

There are the lies that cover for someone or for ourselves: The boss is in the next room, but you say, “He’s not here right now to take your call.” Often, the rationalization for cover-up lies is that the truth would hurt too many people. This was the excuse behind the Watergate scandal that brought down the Nixon administration. It would “hurt the country” if the truth were known!

Or, lies often go undercover as exaggeration. You stretch the story a bit to make yourself look better or to evoke sympathy. One of the easiest lies to fall into is the silent lie. This is where someone assumes something about you, which you know to be untrue. But, their mistaken view makes you look good, so you just let it go by and don’t say anything to correct it. In a similar way, we use evasive lies. We change the subject or don’t directly answer the question.

We also bend the truth by cheating on our income taxes, always with the justification that the government wastes so much money or that the tax system is unfair to the little guy (that’s me!). We cheat on tests with the excuse, “everyone else does it.” Or, we pilfer from our employer with the rationalization that they don’t pay me enough. Or, if the clerk at the store makes a mistake to our advantage, we don’t say anything to make it right. We figure, “They overcharge for everything, anyway!”

The Bible is brutally honest in exposing the failures of some of the great men and women of faith when it comes to lying. Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Aaron, Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob, Rachel, and David all lied, along with Peter in the New Testament. If these saints struggled with being truthful, then none of us is exempt! So we all need to take Paul’s exhortation to heart (Eph. 4:25): “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

“Therefore” takes us back to the preceding context. Paul has told us generally how we are to be different from our former life of corruption “in accordance with the lusts of deceit.” Since God has changed us through the gospel, we are to live in light of the truth by putting off the old life, being renewed in the spirit of our minds, and putting on the new life (4:22-24). But, it’s easy to hear that and think, “Amen, preach, it Brother Paul!” But we leave it out there in the realm of generalities and don’t apply it specifically.

So beginning in 4:25 (and going through 6:9), Paul gets specific. He goes from preaching to meddling! He names a bunch of specific sins from our old life that we are to put off and godly behaviors that we are to put on. While there are some exceptions, his usual method is to state the sinful behavior that we are to put off, the godly behavior that we are to put on, and the motive or reason for the positive behavior. In 4:25 he is saying,

We who have experienced the new birth must lay aside falsehood and speak the truth, because we are members of one another.

To define our terms, truth is an accurate representation of the facts. Especially, truth is conformity to God’s standards as revealed in His Word (John 17:17). God is the truth and He always speaks the truth. Falsehood or lying is any deliberate misrepresentation of the facts.

Also, keep in mind the directive of Ephesians 4:15, that we must speak the truth in love. We must be kind and gracious when we speak the truth. We need to phrase the truth in a way that is least offensive and most sensitive to the other person’s feelings. We need to apply the golden rule: how would I want someone else to tell me this truth? I must speak it in the same manner.

Also, being truthful does not mean that we need to reveal everything we know about a matter. God does not do that with us. If you need to keep a confidence or if you think that making the truth known would be damaging, you may simply reply, “I’m not free to talk about that matter.” Being truthful does not require sharing your thoughts on everything. If being silent would imply agreement when you disagree, you may need to clarify things. But, sometimes wisdom requires keeping your thoughts to yourself (Prov. 10:19).

With that as a background, let’s explore Paul’s thought here:

1. The new birth is the starting point for a life of truthfulness.

As I said, “therefore” takes us back to 4:22, where Paul has just said that we are to “lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit.” Deceit permeated the old life. We were deceived by sin and we deceived others by our self-serving hypocrisy and greed. It also takes us back to 4:24, where Paul said that we are to “put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Truth characterizes our new life in Christ. We are to live in accordance with the truth which is in Jesus (4:21). And, we are now to live as truthful people.

Some unbelievers are truthful people, but usually their truthfulness is self-serving. They take great pride that their word is good. Or, they are truthful because they fear the punishment or shame that comes if their duplicity comes to light. But, only those who have received new life through God’s grace can be truthful out of the motive of pleasing and glorifying Him.

One of my seminary professors told us about an incidence where he was at the bank with another of our professors. The teller gave this other professor too much change. He called it to her attention and gave the money back. She exclaimed, “Thank goodness that you’re honest!” Many of us would have taken the credit, but he quickly replied, “I’m not honest by nature. I would have ripped you off, but Jesus Christ is now my Savior and Lord. He makes me honest.” He gave the glory to Christ, as we should do. His saving grace is the starting point for a life of truthfulness.

2. Those who are new creatures in Christ must lay aside falsehood and speak the truth.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Great, but how do you do it?” I suggest five strategies for becoming a person of truth.

A. Recognize the source of truth and the source of falsehood.

God is the source of truth. He is the only true God, whose word is truth (John 17:3). As such, He cannot lie (Titus 1:2; Heb. 6:18). Jesus Christ is the embodiment of the truth (John 14:6; Eph. 4:21). He spoke the truth (John 8:45). The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth (John 14:17). On the other hand…

Satan is the source of falsehood and lies. Jesus called Satan “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Satan introduced “the lie” in the garden, when he implied that God was lying in the threat of punishment if Eve ate the forbidden fruit. He deceived Eve with the lie (Gen. 3:4), “You surely will not die!”

We need to keep in mind who is the source of truth and who is the source of falsehood because our culture strongly pressures us into compromising the truth. This is especially true with the postmodern philosophy that tells us that there is no such thing as absolute truth. I was talking last week with a pastor who lives near a major evangelical seminary. The seminary requires chapel attendance, which the students must report on. He was talking with the seminary chaplain, who said that many of the students skip chapel regularly and then just lie on their report. They excuse it by saying that they don’t get anything out of chapel and it’s a better use of their time to do something else! This is a conservative, Bible-believing seminary! But I wonder how many of those students would glibly lie if they thought about the fact that when they lie, they are in league with Satan, the father of lies!

B. Recognize the importance of truthfulness to God.

Truthfulness is important to God because He is the God of truth who hates lying and falsehood. Since falsehood is contrary to God’s holy nature and is, in fact, a part of Satan’s rebellious nature, God hates it. In Proverbs 6:16-19, Solomon lists seven things which God hates. Two of the seven have to do with lying. Proverbs 12:22 states, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight.”

Truthfulness is important to God because truth is the basis for all communication. The instant that Adam and Eve sinned, they experienced a breakdown in the close fellowship with God and with one another that they had known before the fall. They tried to hide from God and they were uncomfortable with their nakedness before one another. When God confronted Adam, he blamed Eve for his sin and she blamed the serpent. We all have struggled with communication ever since. When you think about it, it’s ridiculous not to be honest before God, because He knows our every thought. But, we still try to hide our sins from Him!

At the heart of good communication and close relationships is trust. If you do not trust someone, you instinctively draw back and protect yourself. If you think that he will take personal matters that you share in confidence and broadcast them to others, you will not open up and share your heart. Distrust results in distance in relationships and dishonesty causes distrust. You can spend a lifetime building trust in your marriage or on the job, but one stupid lie can erode that trust in an instant. So, truthfulness is very important to God, because it is the basis for all communication.

C. Choose to obey God by making a prior commitment not to lie, but rather to speak the truth.

First, you must choose to obey God. When Paul addresses this subject, he does not say, “Go to a therapist and try to figure out why you are prone to lying. There must be something in the way your parents treated you at the root of this problem!” Nor does he say, “Pray for victory in this area.” Rather, he says, “Stop lying and start speaking the truth!” In other words, choose to obey God.

Second, make a prior commitment not to lie. In other words, you must decide not to lie before you get into a situation that hits you broadside. Paul says here that you must decisively throw off lying as you would throw off dirty, smelly clothes. It’s part of the old life of corruption and deceit, so as a new creature in Christ, commit yourself to say no to the temptation to lie.

You have to make this commitment before the temptation hits because it’s easy to get trapped into lying. Note how Satan set up Peter for his fall. The servant girl who kept the door said to Peter (John 18:17), “You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you?” The question begs for a negative answer. Peter fell into sin by replying, “I am not.” Maybe your dad says, “You don’t know how this scratch got into the fender of the car, do you?” Be careful! It’s so easy to say, “No, what scratch?” And then, once you’ve lied, it’s even more difficult to correct yourself and tell the truth the next time. So, you dig yourself in deeper with another lie and another one, until it becomes a habit pattern of sin.

Third, make a prior commitment to tell the truth, even if it makes you look bad. Usually, we lie because the truth will expose our sin. Or, we fear what will happen if we’re honest. When Abraham went down to Egypt to escape the famine, he told Sarah to say that she was his sister, because he was afraid that if the Egyptians knew that she was his wife, they would kill him in order to take her (Gen. 12:10-20). He justified the lie because it was half true. She was the daughter of his father, but not of his mother. But, the truth was that she also was his wife. Not learning his lesson the first time, Abraham repeated the same lie years later with Abimelech (Gen. 20:1-18). Isaac later followed dad’s steps with the same sin (Gen. 26:7-11). Each time, it was out of fear of what might happen if they told the truth. Such fear never stems from faith in God.

One way to begin this battle to become a person of truth is to resolve to speak the truth even in small matters. Invariably, those who fail in major ways, such as perjury, fraud, or illegal cover-ups, don’t begin there. They lie about small things, until their conscience is callused. Lying doesn’t bother them anymore. Then, they get hit with a major temptation that could send them to prison. Out of habit and panic, they lie. It is far better to be scrupulously honest about everything.

So, to lay aside falsehood and speak the truth, recognize the source of truth and of falsehood. Recognize the importance of truth to God. Choose to obey God by making a prior commitment to speak the truth in every situation.

D. Confess your sins immediately, first to God and then to the ones you have sinned against.

We fall into a habit of lying because we don’t want God or others to know about our sin. As I said, it’s ridiculous to think that we can hide our falsehood from God. He sees the hidden thoughts of our hearts (Heb. 4:13). But, we mistakenly think that it is to our advantage to hide our sins from others. But it is not, because invariably the truth comes out and our sin is exposed. The more we have covered up, the more it erodes any sense of trust. It’s far better to ask forgiveness even after a minor falsehood, to keep your conscience tender and to maintain trust in relationships. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.”

E. Consider the consequences of lying.

Proverbs 19:5 warns, “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who tells lies will not escape” (see, also, Prov. 19:9; 21:28). Although you may be able to cite cases of those that have lied and gotten away with it, they didn’t get away with it before God! If you sow falsehood, you won’t reap God’s blessing. Ask yourself the following questions about lying:

How could my lying bring glory to God? Our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Everything we do should be for His glory (1 Cor. 10:31). It is hard to conceive of how a lie could glorify the God of truth who cannot lie!

How will my lying affect other believers? We will consider this more in a moment. But, since lying erodes trust and leads to breakdowns in communication, lying is not for the good of others. You may think that it protects them, but invariably it hurts them.

How will my lying affect my family? If your mate has reason to doubt your truthfulness, it will create distance between you. If your children see you bending the truth, they won’t need to be taught to follow your example! Rather, they should see you telling the truth even when it costs you. Use the occasions when a clerk gives you too much change to teach your children the value of honesty.

How will my lying affect my testimony before unbelievers? People read your life. They know that you profess to be a Christian and attend church. If they see you lying on the job, or keeping quiet about the truth when it is to your financial advantage, you have no basis for telling them about the Savior. If a boss asks you to cover for him by lying, you need to be ready graciously to refuse and explain why. He may not like you and he may even fire you. But your testimony is worth much more than a job!

How will my lying affect my eternity? I am not saying that you will lose your salvation by lying. As I said, some great men and women of faith were guilty of lying. But I am saying that if you claim to be a Christian, but you continue to live as you did before you became a Christian, you need to take a serious look at whether your faith in Christ is genuine. Those who are characterized by lying or who always excuse it in some way are not giving any evidence that they have been created anew in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Revelation 21:8 warns with regard to all liars, “their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” As Christians, we must fight our fleshly tendency towards lying. We must become people of truth. At the end of our verse, Paul tells us why:

3. The motive for laying aside falsehood and speaking the truth is that we are members of one another.

Paul already used the analogy of the body of Christ in connection with speaking the truth in love (4:14-16). Here, he brings it up again, citing Zechariah 8:16, where the Jews as the restored people of God are exhorted to speak truth with one another. But, Paul adds this reason, that we are members of one another.

The health of your physical body depends on truthful communication between the members through the nervous system. If you put your finger on a hot stove and your nerves do not relay to the brain, “this is hot,” you will suffer severe injury. A person with leprosy lacks this communication between the nerves and the brain. He can actually destroy his own hand without knowing it.

This means that if you lie to your mate or to another member of the body of Christ, you are injuring yourself and, even worse, you are injuring Christ, because He is one with His body. So if you would not deliberately injure yourself, and if you don’t want to injure your family, and most importantly, if you don’t want to injure the Savior who gave Himself for you on the cross, you must develop the habit of laying aside falsehood and speaking truth, for we are members of one another.

Conclusion

Augustine shrewdly observed (Confessions, Book X, chapter XXIII), “I have had experience of many who wished to deceive, but not one who wished to be deceived.” If you don’t want others to deceive you, then don’t deceive others. If the Holy Spirit has used this verse to convict you of falsehood, confess it to the Lord and to those whom you have wronged. Become a person who habitually speaks the truth in love.

Application Questions

1. Is it ever morally right to lie? What about to protect someone’s life? What about to protect someone’s reputation?
2. Is lying a matter of degree or is it black and white? What if you withhold some of what you know—is this lying or prudence?
3. Why is it important to be truthful even in small matters? How should you respond when a host asks whether you liked a meal that you disliked? Etc.
4. Does being truthful require sharing your every thought? Why/ why not?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2008, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

At first glance, you may wonder why Paul included a verse about stealing in a letter to Christians. And, you may wonder why I would devote an entire message to this verse. After all, isn’t stealing just a problem for unbelievers, not for us evangelical Christians?

I won’t do it, but to get us to face reality, I could ask for a show of hands (heads bowed, eyes closed, of course) as to how many were tempted to steal or actually stole something in the past month. Since most of us have been working on our taxes during that time, it might be more skewed than at other times. We’re all tempted to think, “The government wastes billions of dollars every year. They won’t miss the tax on the extra income that I made in cash if I don’t report it!” But to act on that temptation is stealing!

While few of us would be tempted to pull off an armed robbery, if the situation is just right, it can be very tempting to take what does not belong to us. A 20-year Pinkerton study found that 30 percent of the population will steal, not only if the opportunity arises, but also will create the opportunity whenever possible. Forty percent will steal if there’s little danger of getting caught. Only 30 percent won’t steal at all (L. M. Boyd column, 9/6/1999). But I would venture to say that even the 30 percent would be tempted,

         If there’s no chance of getting caught;

         If it’s something you really need and can use;

         If it’s a small item that won’t be missed;

         If you figure that the company or government agency can afford it; or,

         If you rationalize that everyone else takes little things.

People don’t need much encouragement to steal. According to a 2002 National Retail Security Survey, inventory shrinkage (a combination of employee theft, shoplifting, vendor fraud and administrative error) cost U.S. retailers over $31 billion, which was 1.7 percent of their total annual sales. Inventory shrinkage remains the single largest category of larceny in the United States, more than motor vehicle theft, bank robbery and household burglary combined. Ultimately consumers are hurt the most in the form of higher prices. An average family of four will spend more than $440 per year in higher prices because of inventory theft (http://retailindustry.about.com/od/statistics_loss_prevention/1/ aa021126a.htm). And, that number probably does not include the amount that retailers spend on security and theft prevention!

The Internet has opened up a whole new avenue for thieves, namely, identity theft. Back in 2003, one in four American households were victims of identity theft in the previous five years (USA Today, 9/04/2003). In 2003 alone, identity theft cost individual victims $5 billion in out-of-pocket expenses and nearly $48 billion in losses to businesses and financial institutions (http://www.white­canyon.com/identity-theft-statistics-ut-09-2003.php).

So, stealing is a widespread human problem. As such, it is a huge temptation for us as Christians living in this evil world. In the context of our text, Paul is spelling out in detail a number of changes that Christians must make as a result of the new birth. In general terms, we must put off the old way of life, be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and put on the new way of life (4:22-24). Specifically, this includes putting away falsehood and speaking the truth (4:25); putting aside sinful anger and being careful with righteous anger (4:26-27); and, not stealing, but instead, working and giving (4:28). Stealing goes hand in hand with falsehood, because thieves must lie and deceive in order not to get caught. But,

Believers must stop stealing and instead work hard so that they can give to those in need.

Verse 28 implies several changes: from selfishness to service; from taking to giving; from thinking only of my needs to thinking of the needs of others; from laziness to hard work; from deception to honesty; and, from irresponsibility to responsibility. Our lives as Christians should reflect these changes. Paul doesn’t go into any analysis of why people steal. He just says, “Stop doing it.” In effect, he is saying, “Stealing isn’t Christian behavior. You’re a Christian now. So stop stealing.” But the Bible does reveal several root causes that lead people to steal. So I want to examine five causes of stealing, contrasting them with five changes that will cure a thief.

1. Stealing stems from a lack of genuine conversion; a main cure for stealing is truly to trust in Christ as your Savior.

A. Stealing stems from a lack of genuine conversion.

People can change from being thieves to being honest apart from the gospel, but that is just moralism. Many unbelievers pride themselves on being honest people, and I’m glad that many of them are honest, in that it makes for a better world. But, apart from God giving a person a genuine change of heart, they are prone to thievery. Jesus said (Mark 7:21-23), “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.”

So if stealing proceeds from within, from the heart, the problem cannot truly be dealt with apart from a supernatural change of heart, which the Bible describes as the new birth:

B. A main cure for stealing is truly to trust in Christ as your Savior.

Paul warned the Corinthians (1 Cor. 6:9-11), “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

The great news of the Bible is that none of these terrible sins put a person beyond the reach of salvation. Jesus came to save sinners. Even though your life has been consumed with any or all of these sins, as many of the Corinthians’ lives had been, God can deliver you from them through the power of the cross (see 1 Cor. 1:18-31).

But, Paul’s warning indicates that a person may make a profession of faith in Christ and yet continue to live in these sins. Such a person is deceived into thinking that he will inherit God’s kingdom, but he will be shocked to hear the Lord say, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness” (Matt. 7:23). In other words, while believers may fall into these sins, if they characterize someone’s life, with no repentance and no effort to change, it is evidence that he is not genuinely converted. So the cure for stealing is to make sure that you have been washed from your sins through faith in Jesus Christ, crucified in your place.

2. Stealing stems from a temporal value system; a cure for stealing is to establish biblical priorities.

A. Stealing stems from a temporal value system.

If you’re living for the things of this world, you’ll be tempted to steal to get those things if the opportunity presents itself. Jesus said (Matt. 6:19-21), “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If your treasure is on earth, your heart will be on earth. And since theft is a heart problem (Mark 7:21-23), you’ve got to ask God to change your heart from a temporal value system to an eternal one, where your supreme treasure is the joy of being with Jesus in heaven.

The apostle John wrote (1 John 2:15-17), “Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God abides forever.” He’s making the same point as Jesus: a person with a temporal value system—who values money, status, and material things above eternal matters—has a heart problem. It is a matter of what you love or desire. If you love earthly things more than heavenly treasures, you will be more prone to steal to get them.

A person with a temporal value system will usually be out of line in several ways:

         He views things, not God, as the key to happiness.

He thinks that if he can just get that new car, that nicer home, or that latest gadget, he will be happy. His happiness centers around a steady influx of new things. Heaven may be nice for the far-distant future, but his focus right now is on accumulating more and more things. The “prosperity gospel” (which is heresy, not a gospel at all) promotes this mindset. God becomes the means to your material prosperity. But He is not your chief joy; rather, it’s the stuff that He can provide for you.

The most tragic example of this in the Bible is Judas, who was the treasurer for Jesus and the disciples. Rather than pursuing the joy of knowing Jesus intimately, Judas used his position to steal (John 12:6). This set him up for Satan’s main aim, which was to get Judas to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. That was the worst of all possible trades!

         He views things as the key to success and status.

This is the “boastful pride of life,” to think that success and status will bring satisfaction to your soul. This person seeks to impress others with his things—the way he dresses, the cars that he drives, or the expensive toys that he owns. Such a life is built around a temporal value system.

         He views things as the key to future security.

A person with a temporal value system isn’t trusting in the Lord for the future, but rather in his financial portfolio. If a man thinks that he is set because he has plenty of solid investments, or extensive real estate, or a fat retirement account, he’s trusting in the wrong things. All of those things could be taken in an instant, if an enemy overthrew our government. They will be taken in a heartbeat when he dies (Luke 12:16-21). While the Bible strongly commands us to provide adequately for our families (1 Tim. 5:8), it is wrong to trust in our provisions rather than in the Lord.

If you are living for temporal values, rather than for eternity, you will be more prone to steal when the temptation comes, as surely it will. Even Christians can fall into this. My dad once had business dealings with a man who was a prominent and gifted Sunday School teacher in a large Baptist church. In fact, he was featured in a film about how to be a successful Bible teacher. In his business life, he offered first trust deeds to investors. I saw some of these offerings. They pictured beautiful homes with their addresses. You could invest in the mortgage, supposedly secured by the properties, and receive a secure rate of return.

The problem was, because of his position as a well-known Sunday School teacher, people trusted him without checking on these investments. It came out that he was just making them up and using investor funds to pay early returns, in a sort of Ponzi scheme. The last I heard, this man who was then in his seventies was arrested and sent to prison for fraud. You would think that at that point in life, his focus would be on eternity! But his temporal value system led him to steal.

B. A cure for stealing is to establish biblical priorities.

Godliness, not financial gain, should be your aim. In 1 Timothy 6:5, Paul warns Timothy about men “who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.” They were an early version of today’s prosperity teachers, using religion for personal financial profit. Paul goes on to say that we didn’t bring anything into the world, so we won’t be taking it with us in a U-Haul! He then warns (6:9-11),

But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love perseverance and gentleness.

A starting point to establish biblical priorities is to yield the rightful ownership of all your assets to God. You don’t own any of it; He owns it all. You just manage it for Him and you will give Him an account someday of how you managed it in light of His kingdom purposes. If you think of your money and possessions as belonging to God, you will not be prone to stealing.

3. Stealing stems from not trusting God to supply your needs; a cure for stealing is to trust God for finances through prayer and financial faithfulness.

A. Stealing stems from not trusting God to supply your needs.

A person who steals is obviously not trusting God to provide. Rather, he is disobeying God and probably justifying it by thinking, “I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do to survive.” Martin Luther once came upon a group of peasants who were breaking into a mill to take some corn. “What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded. Terrified, one of the men answered, “We know it’s wrong to steal, but after all, we have to live.” Luther indignantly responded, “I do not know that one must live. But one must be honest!” (In “Our Daily Bread,” Summer, 1979.) Not trusting God leads to stealing.

B. A cure for stealing is to trust God for finances through prayer and financial faithfulness.

God not only wants you to pray, but also to work hard, as we’ll see in a moment. But we all need to depend on God through prayer to provide for our basic needs. The Lord taught us to pray (Matt. 6:11), “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Also, part of trusting God for adequate finances is that we act with financial faithfulness. In other words, you can’t ask God to provide for your financial needs at the same time that you’re squandering His resources on careless living. I have repeatedly seen Christians who ask the church for financial help. But then I see them taking the family out to dinner, or I go to their house and see a large screen TV, hooked up to the cable! Or, they run up credit card debt on frivolous purchases, but they don’t pay their basic bills. So, when an opportunity to steal comes along, they yield to the temptation. At the root of their sin is that they are not trusting God for finances and they’re not being faithful stewards.

4. Stealing stems from laziness; a cure for stealing is to assume responsibility through hard work.

A. Stealing stems from laziness.

The thief doesn’t want to work, so he steals instead. I have seen people who work so hard at stealing that if they worked that hard at a real job, they’d do okay! But working would take weeks or months to get what you can often steal in a few minutes. So thieves are often lazy people.

Some lazy people manage to hold down jobs, but they’re still prone to steal whenever they see an opportunity. They don’t want to work hard and be disciplined with their money. They see stealing as an easy and quick way to get ahead. Laziness is at the root of their sin of stealing.

B. A cure for stealing is to assume responsibility through hard work.

Paul says, “but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good.” The word, “labor,” means hard work or toil. God ordained work as a good thing. Adam was given work to do in the garden before the fall. And while Paul’s mention of working with our hands does not prohibit management or desk jobs, it does indicate that manual labor is a reputable and godly way to make a living. After all, Jesus was a carpenter and Paul made tents.

If you struggle with the temptation to be lazy (and thus to steal), my counsel is to get a job that pays a fixed wage and requires you to work fixed hours, because the discipline imposed by that kind of job will help you. A self-employed person must be self-motivated to discipline himself for work, or he will not succeed. So, get a steady job. When Paul says, “what is good,” he means a job that is useful in some capacity to people. There are certain jobs that Christians should not work in. For example, Christians should avoid working at casinos or liquor stores. Some jobs may be permissible, but they will put you in situations of strong temptation. If your job is causing you to stumble, look for another job.

To this point, a person could stop stealing and start working to provide for his own needs, and yet live a self-centered, materialistic lifestyle. So the final point is essential:

5. Stealing stems from selfishness and greed; a cure for stealing is to look for opportunities to serve and give.

A. Stealing stems from selfishness and greed.

Thieves are selfish and greedy. They do not care about others or think about others’ needs, but only about themselves. They want what they want and they will take advantage of others to get it. Often, such selfish people think, “They owe it to me,” or, “I deserve it.” I’ve read that studies show that prisoners, who are often there because of theft, have much higher self-esteem than the population at large! Their inflated view of self makes them think that they can take what belongs to others.

B. A cure for stealing is to look for opportunities to serve and give.

The person who works so that he can accumulate more stuff for himself has not dealt the axe-blow to the temptation to steal, because he is still essentially a selfish and greedy person. The cure for stealing is to work to earn money so that you can give to those in need. In other words, your mindset has to change radically from using money to serve yourself to using it to serve others.

The Bible condemns lazy people who refuse to work and then try to sponge off of others (2 Thess. 3:10; plus many references in Proverbs about the sluggard). If someone is able to work but does not; or he spends money on frivolous things and then doesn’t have money for necessities that he knew would come up later; the Bible mocks him as a fool. We are not under obligation to give to such people. In fact, to give to them is wrong, because it only encourages them to continue in their irresponsible ways. Love tries to teach, but if the person refuses to obey, love allows him to suffer the consequences of his foolish behavior.

But, there are people who are unable to work due to physical limitations or who have suffered financial setbacks due to health problems or some catastrophe. The cure for stealing is to look for those in need and serve them by sharing what you have earned through hard work.

Conclusion

A few years ago, a Church of England priest made the news when he suggested that it is not a sin to shoplift, as long as the victim is a big store. He said that it is wrong to steal from individuals or from small merchants. But, he rationalized, with giant retail corporations it’s different. He said that he wasn’t encouraging shoplifting, although he said, “if people wander in and wander out without paying for the stuff, I think it is a perfectly comprehensible action” (Arizona Daily Sun, 3/6/97)!

If by “comprehensible” he means, “understandable,” I’d say, “Yes, I understand why people steal.” But if he means that it is justifiable to steal, he is denying God’s Word! Believers must stop stealing and instead work hard so that they can give to those in need. When the former thief becomes a worker and a giver, he has cured the problem!

Application Questions

1. What should a Christian (who can’t afford to lose his job) do if his boss asks him to fudge an account statement in favor of the company?
2. How can a lazy person recognize this sin in himself and then overcome it? What steps should he take?
3. What are some jobs that a Christian should never take? What are some jobs that may be morally difficult for Christians?
4. Is it wrong for Christians to gamble? Is this a form of stealing? Why/why not?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2008, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation

C. H. Spurgeon relates a conversation that he had with a Wesleyan man who believed that he could attain spiritual perfection on this earth. The man had invited Spurgeon to his home, but Spurgeon told him that there probably would not be room for him, because the house would be so full of angels. After Spurgeon made a few more playful remarks, the man flew into a rage. When Spurgeon asked him if perfect men get angry, the man denied that he was angry, although Spurgeon says that he had a peculiar redness about his cheeks and a fiery flash in his eyes. Spurgeon says he thinks that he rather spoiled the man’s perfection!

Then Spurgeon writes, “My own experience is a daily struggle with the evil within. I wish I could find in myself something friendly to grace, but, hitherto, I have searched my nature through, and have found everything in rebellion against God.” He then mentions his struggles with sloth, anger, pride, and distrust in God (C. H. Spurgeon Autobiography [Banner of Truth], 1:229).

It would be wonderful if we could reach a place in the Christian life where sin was no longer so tempting! It would be nice if the longer you were a Christian, the more immunity to sin you built up, so that it just glanced off you. But the fact is, a man after God’s heart such as David, after years of walking with God and writing many inspired Psalms, succumbed to the temptation of adultery, deception, and murder. The wisest man on the earth, Solomon, who had several personal encounters with God, fell into the sin of idolatry. If you think that you’ve arrived at a point where certain sins no longer tempt you, remember Paul’s warning (1 Cor. 10:12), “let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”

Because sin appeals to us with such powerful force, we need a motivation for holy living that is stronger than our sin. Since sin often brings immediate pleasure and fulfillment, we need to think through the biblical answer to the question, “Why not sin?”

The Bible gives us many good reasons not to sin. For one thing, sin hurts you. God designed His commandments for our blessing and protection. There are built-in consequences when we violate His holy standards. It’s like the traffic laws. You can drive fast, run red lights, and drive on the wrong side of the road in order to get where you’re going faster. For a while, it may work. You may think, “This is great! I don’t have to obey those restrictive laws!” But, sooner or later you’re going to get hit by a semi-truck and it won’t be fun any more!

In the same way, God warns us that whatever we sow, we will reap. If we sow to the flesh, we will from the flesh reap corruption (Gal. 6:7-8). So even if sin gives us pleasure for a while, the Bible clearly warns that eventually it leads to death (Rom. 6:23).

Another reason not to sin is, sin hurts others. This is obvious with many sins, such as murder, rape, stealing, hatred, gossip, etc. But, it’s also true of sins that we may commit in the privacy of our own thoughts. As Paul said (4:25), we are members of one another. If my heart decides that it has a right to do as it pleases and it stops functioning, my entire body suffers. If, as a member of the body of Christ, I indulge in sin, even if they are secret sins that you cannot detect, I have damaged you because we are both members of the one body of Christ. My sin will hurt my wife and children, because it weakens me as their shepherd and example. So you should not sin because sin hurts you and it hurts others.

Another reason not to sin is, God will judge sinners that do not repent. It often looks as if sinners get away with their evil ways. Hugh Hefner, the founder of the evil Playboy empire, has lived in luxury and sensuality with the sexiest women that any man could desire. Recently on his eightieth birthday he said something to the effect that he had enjoyed a good life and had no regrets. But all of that will change soon, when he dies and stands before God and faces eternal punishment in hell! The Bible gives abundant warning that no unrepentant sinner will escape God’s judgment. So that is a good reason to repent and turn from sin!

We could probably come up with more reasons not to sin. But we still haven’t come to the best reason not to sin, which Paul gives us in Ephesians 4:30, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” He is saying,

We should not sin because our sin grieves the Holy Spirit, who has sealed us for the day of redemption.

In the context, Paul has been showing what it means to live as a Christian in a pagan world. We are not to live as the rest of the world lives (4:17-19). Rather, as those now created anew in righteousness and holiness of the truth, we are to put off the old life, be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and put on the new life in Christ (4:20-24). Specifically, this means laying aside falsehood and speaking the truth (4:25); being righteously angry and yet avoiding unrighteous anger (4:26-27); not stealing, but rather working hard and giving to those in need (4:28); and, not using speech that tears down others, but using our words to build up others (4:29). Paul will go on to say (4:31-32) that as Christians, we must put off all bitterness and anger, and instead be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving towards one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us.

But right in the middle of giving all these specific behavioral changes, Paul gives us the supreme motivation for why we should not sin, namely, that our sin grieves the Holy Spirit, who has sealed us for the day of redemption. It’s an astounding thought, because God is immutable (unchangeable) and He is in no way dependent on His creation for His happiness. He is the eternally blessed God (1 Tim. 6:15)! So there’s a mystery here that we cannot fully understand. In some sense, God’s being grieved at our sin is an anthropopathism, which means, attributing human emotions to God so that we can understand. It’s similar to an anthropomorphism, such as when the Bible speaks of God’s right hand or His mighty arm. We are not to understand it literally, but the Bible is stooping to our level, so that we can get a handle on the meaning. Let’s explore Paul’s thought:

1. Your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He loves you.

This verse is one of many that clearly prove that the Holy Spirit is a person, not just an influence. Cults, such as the Jehovah’s Witnesses, that deny the Trinity, say that the Spirit of God is simply His power or force at work in the world. But you can’t grieve a force or a power. You can only grieve a person.

You especially can grieve a person that loves you. You can tolerate unkind remarks from a stranger, because he doesn’t love you and you don’t love him. But when someone that loves you makes an unkind remark, it hurts. The deeper the love, the deeper the grief when sin hurts the relationship.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones (Darkness and Light [Baker], pp. 265-266) points out that this verse distinguishes Christian ethics from every other ethical system. Other religions have ethical standards, but none of them command their followers not to sin because their sin grieves God. And, Paul is not appealing to his readers to adhere to a certain moral standard simply because it is the right thing to do. He is not even appealing to them to obey these moral commands because it will benefit them, although it will, as we have seen.

Rather, he appeals to them on the basis of their personal relationship with a loving God. Sin grieves the Holy Spirit! Through faith in Christ, you enter into a personal relationship with the Triune God. His Spirit now dwells within you. Your body is His temple. On the basis of these facts, Paul exhorts you to glorify God in your body (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Sin strains the personal relationship that you are now to enjoy with the loving, indwelling Spirit of God.

We may think about the love of God and the love of Jesus Christ, but most of us don’t think often of the love of the Holy Spirit. But we know that as a member of the Godhead, the Spirit is love because God is love (1 John 4:7; see also, Rom. 15:30). Also, we probably think about fellowship with God and with Jesus, but the Bible also talks about the fellowship of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor. 13:14). This may refer to the fellowship that the Spirit produces between believers or to our fellowship with the Holy Spirit. But the point I’m making is, the Holy Spirit is a divine person, not merely a divine force. Because He loves us and because He desires fellowship with us, our sin grieves Him.

To illustrate, suppose that a father warned his teenage son, “I love you very much and I want the best for you. I want us to have a close relationship. For these reasons, I don’t want you ever to use illicit drugs.”

But, the boy is out with the wrong crowd and everyone is using drugs. His friends say, “Come on, it feels really good. Try it just this once!” The boy yields and is high on drugs when the police raid the party. The boy’s parents are deeply grieved that their son would do such a thing. If all that the boy says to his parents is, “I’m sorry that I used drugs,” he has missed an important aspect of his sin. He should realize that while he was wrong to use the drugs, his greater wrong was grieving his father and mother who loved him so much. He has strained a close, loving relationship by his sin. Paul is saying, “Don’t sin, because your sin grieves the loving Holy Spirit of God, who dwells within you!”

2. Your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He loves others.

Because (as we saw) our sin always hurts others and because the Spirit loves others, our sin grieves Him. In the context, Paul has especially been referring to sins that disrupt the unity of the body. Verse 30 (in the Greek text) begins with, “and,” connecting it to verse 29. In that verse, rotten speech implicitly tears down others, whereas gracious speech builds up others. The same may be said of lying (4:25), of sinful anger (4:26, 31), and of stealing (4:28). All of these sins hurt others. Since God loves these other people, your sin grieves Him.

It’s like a father who sees one of his children hurting one of his other children. He loves them both and he wants them to get along, so it grieves him to see the one hurting the other. Even so, the Spirit of God who produces unity in the body of Christ (Eph. 4:3) is grieved when we sin against one another.

3. Your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He is holy.

The Greek construction of verse 30 is literally, “And do not grieve the Spirit, the Holy One of God….” It puts an emphasis on His holiness. God’s holiness means that He is absolutely apart from and opposed to all sin and evil. First John 1:5 says, “God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.” First Timothy 6:16 says that God “dwells in unapproachable light.” In Isaiah’s vision of God (Isa. 6:3), the holy angels cry out, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory.”

There is a popular misunderstanding that God’s grace means that He tolerates a certain amount of sin in His children, much as a doting father sees his toddler disobey and chuckles, “He’s just a chip off the old block!” But the Holy Spirit never chuckles at our sin. He is holy, which means that all sin, especially the sin of His redeemed children, grieves Him. It was God’s absolute holiness that sent His Son to the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. If He were not holy, He could have just dismissed our sins. But His holiness demands that the penalty be paid.

If our trust is in Christ, then we do not need to fear God’s future judgment for our sins. But, because He is holy and because He loves us, the Holy Spirit is grieved at all our sin. He knows that we will only share His eternal joy when we share His holiness. Thus (as we’ll see in a moment), He applies loving discipline to purify us from our sins (Heb. 12:10).

Thus, your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He loves you and sin hurts you and strains your relationship with Him. Your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He loves others and your sin hurts others. Your sin grieves the Holy Spirit because He is holy and hates all sin.

4. If you grieve the Holy Spirit by sinning, you will suffer certain consequences.

Again, it is vital to remember that these consequences always stem from the Spirit’s love, not because He is mean or He wants to take away your fun. Quite the contrary, true, lasting joy is only found in true, lasting holiness. Sin brings temporary pleasure (Heb. 11:25), but long-term pain. Holiness is often more difficult in the short-term, but it brings lasting peace, joy, and pleasure (Heb. 12:11; Ps. 16:11). First, we will consider some consequences that you will suffer if you grieve the Holy Spirit. Then we will look at some consequences that you will not suffer, contrary to what some teach. (For the following points, I am relying on Charles Spurgeon, “Grieve Not the Holy Spirit,” Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit [Pilgrim Publications], 13:129-130; and on Lloyd-Jones, pp. 274-275.)

A. Some consequences that you will suffer if you grieve the Holy Spirit:

(1). You will suffer the Spirit’s loving discipline.

All of the other consequences that I will mention are variations of the Spirit’s discipline. Hebrews 12:5-11 makes it clear that because God loves us as His children, He disciplines us so that we will share His holiness. There is not always a direct link between some known sin on our part and our trials, but sometimes there is. In other words, sometimes the trials that God sends into our lives are for the purpose of positive training in righteousness, to mature us in our faith. At other times, there is a direct link between some known sin and God’s discipline. When David sinned with Bathsheba, God took their child in death and He used ensuing family problems to chasten David (2 Sam. 12:10-14). But all of our trials are from God’s loving hand and we are exhorted not to regard them lightly or to faint under them. If we are aware of some sin that has led to the trial, we should confess it to the Lord and learn from it to avoid that sin in the future. I can only comment briefly on the rest of these consequences:

(2). You will lose the sense of the Spirit’s presence.

Since the Day of Pentecost, the Spirit permanently indwells believers (John 14:16-17). Under the old dispensation, David had to pray after his sin, “do not take Your Holy Spirit from me” (Ps. 51:11). But now the Spirit permanently indwells every believer (1 Cor. 6:19; 12:13). But, if we sin, we will lose the sense of His presence with us.

(3). You will lose the sense of God’s love.

God does not stop loving you, but you will not experience His love as long as you remain in your sin.

(4). You will lose the joy of your salvation.

After David repented of his sin, he prayed that God would restore the joy of his salvation (Ps. 51:12).

(5). You will lose the assurance of your salvation.

The Epistle of First John gives us many ways that we can be assured of our salvation. It is clear that if we are grieving the Spirit through our sin, we cannot enjoy that assurance.

(6). You will lose God’s comfort in your trials.

You cannot draw near to the throne of grace to receive mercy in your trials at the same time you are grieving the Holy Spirit.

(7). You will lose the assurance of answered prayer.

“If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear” (Ps. 66:18). He will hear a prayer of repentance, but we cannot ask God to bless us with answers to prayer while we are in sin.

(8). You will lose the ability to bear fruit and gain rewards in your service for Christ.

If your heart is not in fellowship with the Spirit, you cannot rely on Him to produce lasting fruit for Christ.

(9). You will lose the joy of fellowship with other believers.

Sin not only creates distance between you and God, but also between you and other believers who are walking with God. If you are grieving the Spirit through sin, you will hate being around godly Christians because they will convict you of your sin. I could list more consequences, but briefly, let’s consider…

B. Some consequences that you will not suffer if you grieve the Holy Spirit:

(1). You will not lose the indwelling of the Spirit if you grieve Him.

I already commented on this, but emphasize it again. You will lose the sense of His presence, but He permanently indwells every true Christian.

(2). You will not lose your salvation if you grieve the Spirit.

I recently had an email from a woman I do not know, who was concerned that she had blasphemed against the Holy Spirit and lost her salvation because she had not followed His prompting years ago. But Paul’s point here and a major part of the motivation that he gives for why we should not grieve the Spirit is that He has sealed us for the day of redemption. (We saw this truth in 1:13-14, so I refer you to that message.) The Holy Spirit Himself is the seal, given to us at the moment of salvation. He keeps us until the day of redemption, which is the day of Christ’s second coming, when He will claim us completely as His own. The Holy Spirit is God’s pledge or down payment, given until the day when Christ takes us to be with Him and redeems us from not only the penalty of our sins, but also from the presence of all our sins.

A seal had three primary functions. First, it made something secure. When the guards put the Roman seal on the tomb of Jesus, it was secured from anyone tampering with it. A seal on a bottle of medicine tells you that it is secure from anyone contaminating it.

Second, a seal identified the owner. We still have this practice in branding cattle. The mark shows who owns it. The Spirit’s presence shows that we belong to God for eternity.

Third, a seal authenticated the object sealed as genuine. When a king took his signet ring and pressed it into the wax on a letter, the recipient knew that it was authentic. We follow the same practice when a notary public puts his seal on a document. The Spirit authenticates that we are God’s true children.

So, when you sin, God will discipline you, sometimes severely, because He loves you and He knows that sin will destroy you. But He promises never to leave you. If He has saved you by His grace, He will keep you by His grace. Don’t grieve His Holy Spirit, who is the seal that guarantees your salvation until the day of redemption.

Conclusion

I have used this personal story before, but it illustrates the point of our text. I was reared in the church and I had made several “decisions” for Christ and I was baptized at age 12. But when I was in high school, I was not walking closely with the Lord. He only knows whether or not I was truly saved then.

Often I was with friends who were drinking or scheming on how they could get into bed with girls. The thing that kept me from joining them in these sins was that I knew my parents loved me and that if I came home drunk or if I got a girl pregnant, they would be deeply grieved. Many times I turned away from these temptations because I thought, “If I do that, I will hurt Dad and Mom, and they love me so much.” Their love kept me from sin.

Paul is saying, “God loves you far more than any earthly parent could. He has sent His Holy Spirit to live in you as His temple. Don’t grieve Him by sinning!” That is the main reason not to sin.

Application Questions

1. Do you think of the Holy Spirit as a person or more as a “force”? Why is the latter detrimental? How can you change your thinking on this?
2. How can a Christian gain a greater sense of the Spirit’s presence? Is this a feeling or something we “take by faith”?
3. Should we give assurance of salvation to a person who says that he is a Christian, but who isn’t repentant of his sin? Why/ why not? Cite biblical support.
4. How can we know whether our trials are due to some sin in our lives or not? If we sin and repent, can we avert the discipline? How can we know what lessons the Lord is teaching us?

Copyright, Steven J. Cole, 2008, All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation