I assume by your question you are referring to living with someone outside of the marriage bond. Living with someone of the opposite sex exposes both parties to sexual temptation and relationships which are strictly forbidden in Scripture (see Gen. 2:23-24; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Thess. 4:1-12). We sometimes hear of situations where a man and a woman may share an apartment in a strictly business-like relationship (just sharing the rent and space as roommates, nothing more), but this opens each of them up to unnecessary risks and temptations. In other words, it is playing with fire.

The Bible teaches us to flee from temptation. One of the simple reasons is that God designed sex to be a part of a relationship of commitment where two people devote themselves to each other as partners for life (again cf. Gen. 2:23-24). They are to be devoted to, complement, and fulfill one another in a loving and sacrificial relationship where each partner seeks to minister to the other person. Co-habitation situations will nearly always lack this commitment.

While sex is designed for both procreation and joyous intimacy and pleasure, it was nevertheless to be a part of one’s commitment to the other person in marriage. Without this, what you have is simply the exploitation of the other person for selfish purposes, and more often than not, it is the woman who gets exploited. Without the commitment of marriage, there will rarely be the willingness needed to work through the problems that will be encountered. When a relationship doesn’t work out and children are involved, the woman is generally left to raise the children as a single parent, which is contrary to God’s plan for the family unit.

There is a study on 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 on our web site which deals with the proper approach to marriage.

All of this goes contrary to today’s ideas, but as the Bible teaches us, “There is a way that seems right to man, but the end is the way of death” (see Prov. 14:12 along with 12:15; 16:2; 21:2).

I’m sure there are other sites that deal with this issue. Take a look at Probe at http://www.probe.org. This is an excellent site that deals with current social issues. They may be able to help and have someone who has addressed this issue.

Change starts with salvation through personal faith in Christ and this is where you must start with your friend. Any other kind of change will be either short-lived or incomplete at best. Biblical change (change from the inside out that effectively reaches into all areas of one’s life) is always a product of spiritual growth through an understanding of Scripture.

In helping your friend, may I suggest a careful study of the ABCs For Christian Growth, Laying the Foundation series on our web site in the “Bible Studies / Spiritual Life” section. This covers the issues of salvation, assurance of God’s provision in dealing with sin and many other important issues. The second section of the study is devoted specifically to the spiritual principles and disciplines that lead to change from the inside out that comes from steady growth in Christ.

Further, it is important to realize that true change is usually slow. It takes time through growth in the life-changing promises and principles of Scripture. The Bible says, “As newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the Word that you may grow unto salvation (deliverance)” (1 Pet. 2:2). It also says, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 3:18). But of course, the first step is to win your friend to a real personal faith in Christ. The material in the ABCs will help you step by step.

This will involve a lot of reading on your part, but this should be beneficial not only in your own life, but also in your witness to your friend. Obviously, this is a spiritual battle and you need God’s enablement, so pray faithfully for your friend. Effective ministry is the result of prayerful dependence on the Lord.

The Scripture, which is God-breathed and accurate, gives us God’s declaration concerning the issue of homosexuality. It clearly states that homosexuality is sinful and contrary to man’s basic nature. Since we hold the authority of Scripture over against man’s situational ethics or beliefs on moral issues, we must, though we do so in love, reject the so-called findings of modern genetics as erroneous and biased. I take it that although we are all born with a sin nature and with the condemnation of Adam’s sin on our heads (according to Ephesians 2 and Romans 5 in particular), no one is born in such a way that certain sins must take place. In other words, biology is not destiny. The definition of homosexual needs some clarity: some use the term to refer to an individual who practices homosexual acts; others use it to describe someone with homosexual proclivities. This comes back to the previous point: biology is not destiny.

By analogy, I have no trouble accepting the notion that each one of us, as descendants of Adam, has received a genetic proclivity toward one kind of a sin or another. For some, it might be anger; for others, it might be lust. But regardless, no one—no matter what the proclivity—is ever excusable before God for acting out on that proclivity. Hence, homosexual proclivity would be treated the same way, not differently. When we tell an alcoholic to abstain from drink, is that not just as consistent with telling a person with homosexual proclivities to abstain from homosexual activity? As for hermaphrodites, I think the scripture singles them out precisely because they are an exceptional case and must be treated as such.

As to the data that is supposed to prove that homosexual preferences are genetically caused, other experts have researched the issues and are convinced the data is biased by a desire to justify that which God declares as wrong, harmful, and under His judgment as with any of mankind’s sins as declared in God’s Word. Scripture gives us God’s revelation on this, not to keep us from enjoying life, but to protect us from ourselves and the depravity to which we can all go when we seek to live life apart from a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and in the light of the Bible as God’s index and authority for both belief (doctrine) and practice (behavior).

Again, we would refer the reader to a Christian site that has done a great deal of research on this and other current moral issues in our society; please take a look at Probe Ministries at www.probe.org. They have several articles by their writers and researchers who have studied this area and I am sure they would be delighted to dialogue with you. Search for “homosexual” and you will find a number of articles with the names of the authors and their email address. Though disagreeing with your conclusions, I think you will find their articles to be compassionate and concerned for homosexuals.

Genesis 9:6 deals with the sin of homicide (which, in a sense, is always fratricide, v. 5) and demands a punishment that matches the crime. The justification for capital punishment established here is the nobility of human life, which is in the image of God. Thus murder shows contempt for God as well as for one’s fellow man.

Romans 13:4 shows that the coming of Christ does not abolish capital punishment, but the responsibility is given to government, not individuals. While various methods of death were used, the sword, mentioned in Romans 13:4, stood for the power of life or death. Obviously, as suggested by the principles of justice as seen in the Old Testament, capital punishment should only be carried out after clear evidence and by a just court. For more information on this, you might check out www.probe.org. This is an excellent biblical web site, which deals with a lot of social issues.

The following is taken from an article in the book, The Bible Has the Answer, by Henry Morris and Martin Clark, Creation Life Publishers. I’m sure it will help.

3. Question: “Should capital punishment be abolished?”

Answer: Some duties are thrust upon society, not because they are pleasant, but because they are necessary. Capital punishment is such a duty. It is difficult to imagine anyone enjoying capital punishment; yet that does not mean that it is any less necessary or right. The Christian’s final authority in all matters of faith and practice is not public opinion, but the Bible, God’s Holy Word.

Moses governed Israel with a set of God-given laws, the most familiar of which are the Ten Commandments. Certain laws, such as dietary, civil and ceremonial prescriptions were meant for the Hebrew nation during a particular part of its history. Among these civil laws, the death penalty was required for a number of offenses, including—in addition to murder—adultery (Leviticus 20:10), rape (Deuteronomy 22:25-26), kidnapping (Exodus 21:16), cursing one’s parents (Exodus 21:17), witchcraft (Exodus 22:18), teaching false doctrines (Deuteronomy 13:1-10), Sabbath violations (Exodus 35:2), and several others.

The Bible, however, shows that capital punishment for murder is of a different order than that prescribed under the civil law that governed Old Testament Israel. Following the worldwide Flood, God gave a covenant to Noah, graciously promising never again to send His judgment as a mammoth flood. This same covenant reconstituted human government and established safeguards against the prevailing human violence which precipitated God’s judgment. Central to these safeguards was the death penalty: “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed, for in the image of God He made man” (Genesis 9:6).

Prior to the Flood, men who lived by depraved consciences made themselves odious before the thrice-holy God. “Now the earth was corrupt in the sight of God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked on the earth, and behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way upon the earth. Then God said to Noah, ‘The end of all flesh has come before Me; for the earth is filled with violence because of them; and behold, I am about to destroy them with the earth’” (Genesis 6:11-13). No mere coincidence, then, prompted God to institute the death penalty as a restraint on violence.

Murder was differentiated in Scripture from different degrees of manslaughter, and to murder was relegated the most severe penalty. God’s commandment required the death penalty because “in the image of God He made man” (Genesis 9:6). A murderer not only took the life of his victim, he also assaulted the divine majesty. Taking animal or vegetable life is in no way comparable to taking human life, for though all creation is His handiwork, only man was created in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). Nothing else in God’s creation was vitalized by God’s own breath (Genesis 2:7). No matter how sinful man has deformed God’s image, he still bears some likeness of his Creator (James 3:9; 1 Corinthians 11:7).

The death penalty was imposed as a measure of protection for organized society, but purely social considerations fail to give sufficient warrant for the severe punishment. Therefore, God showed the preciousness of human life to be its reflection of His image, and violence against human life constituted rebellion of inestimable magnitude.

The argument that capital punishment only adds a second murder to the first reveals an unfortunate lack of discernment between the violent acts of depraved man and the holy justice of the righteous God. Human government is commissioned to be “a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath upon the one who practices evil” (Romans 13:4).

The fact that ignorance and injustice exist in a judicial system is no excuse for abandoning God’s commandment. The death penalty is drastic, but it need not be rash. Extreme care should be taken to ascertain true guilt or innocence. No one was subjected to more injustice than Jesus Christ in His trial and crucifixion. Indicted on false charges, tried by frenzied bigots, sentenced by a cowardly judge, executed in unspeakable cruelty—what a perfect opportunity to strike out against the whole practice of capital punishment! Yet, God the Son remained quiet. Miscarriages of justice do not warrant abandoning the pursuit of justice. And justice, by God’s standards, includes punitive as well as rehabilitative measures.

God requires that the death penalty be applied to murderers (Genesis 9:5). Changes in cultural mood or in legislation do not alter God’s abiding Word. Though the death penalty may at first seem to be “cruel and unusual punishment,” the Christian should remember that the God of all mercy entrusted it to human government to prevent a far more destructive and corrupting violence.