9. Closing ThoughtsRelated Media
Congratulations on finishing Building Foundations for a Godly Marriage curriculum! I would like to leave you with a few closing thoughts. In Deuteronomy 24:5, God called for soldiers to not go to war during their first year of marriage. He said:
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.
In this, a clear principle is established showing how important the first year of marriage is. Statistics support this; one of the highest years of divorce is the first year. Everything will be new, and in this year, you will build habits that will sustain or hurt you for the rest of your marriage. Therefore, it is important to be very intentional within your first year.
As shared earlier in the book, one marriage guru said that couples should not watch any TV within the first year of marriage to focus on one another. Though this may be an overstatement, the basic principle behind this statement is true. Couples need to develop a pattern of focus within the first year that will continue throughout the marriage.
For example, in my first year of marriage, my wife and I decided that she would not work full-time and I stopped pursuing further education, so we could focus on one another. Plus, we had a brief courtship, so getting to know one another was even more important for us.
Couples should be very careful about taking on extra tasks in the first year that will keep them away from one another. They should spend as much quality time together as possible, building a foundation for a long and healthy marriage.
Another principle that I will leave you with is the importance of having a mentor or a mentor couple. Think of a strong Christian married couple who would serve as good mentors. You could meet together once a month, pray together, do a Bible study together, or simply secure the right to call them for godly advice and invite them to check in on you throughout the marriage.
There is support for this in Paul’s call for older women to mentor younger women. In Titus 2:3-5, Paul says this:
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
For a new job, we go through training. How much more do we need continual training in marriage? You will find mentorship invaluable for your future, and one day you will pass on the wisdom you gained to another couple. May God richly bless and strengthen your marriage.