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False Hopes of Families

1. A Hope for No Tensions: (If one can be sweet, surface, cheerful, then tensions can be avoided. So niceness is necessary.)

2. A Hope for No Differences: (If one can be agreeable, compliant, adaptable, then differences can be erased. Since differences are dangerous.)

3. A Hope for No Criticism: (If one can communicate cautiously, with questions, cleverly with concealed or indirect messages, then criticism can be escaped. Since comments are criticism.)

4. A Hope for No Anger: (If one can hide, suppress, deny, or defer anger, then negative feelings can be eliminated. Since angeris attack.)

5. A Hope for No Weakness: (If one can hide pain, stifle tears, conceal sadness then one will appear strong and invulnerable. Since sadness is weakness.)

6. A Hope for No Disobedience: (If one can gain another’s love, they will have to be loyal, obedient, conforming to the lover’s demands. Since love is control.)

7. A Hope for No Craziness: (If one can keep all debate perfectly reasonable, then all feelings can be kept in their place. Since logic is the last word.)

8. A Hope for No Failure: (If one can strive to be completely adequate, successful, perfect, one is safe. Since failure is final.)

David Augsberger, When Enough is Enough, (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1984), p. 106