TV Is My Shepherd
The TV set is my shepherd.
My spiritual growth shall want.
It maketh me to sit down and do nothing for his names sake.
Because it requireth all of my spare time.
It keepeth me from doing my duty as a Christian,
because it presenteth so many good shows that I must see.
It restoreth my knowledge of the things
of the world and keepeth me from the study of Gods Word.
It leadeth me in the paths of failing to attend the evening worship services
and doing nothing in the kingdom of God.
Yea, though I live to be 100
I shall keep on viewing television as long as it will work,
for it is my closest companion.
Its sound and its picture,
they comfort me.
It presenteth entertainment before me
and keepeth me from doing important things with my family.
It fills my head with ideas which differ from those set forth in the word of God.
Surely, no good thing will come of my life,
because my television offereth me no good time to do the will of God;
thus I will dwell crownless in the house of the Lord forever.