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Premarital Sex Interferes with Intimacy

Dr. Desmond Morris, well-known researcher and author, spent many years studying the institution of marriage and the factors that contribute to long-term intimacy. A relationship that fails to survive, he said, can usually be traced to the dating days when the bond between a man and a woman was inadequately cemented. And what interfered with the bond? It is likely to result from physical intimacy occurring too early in the relationship. Instead of taking the time to know each other—to talk and laugh and share lovers’ secrets—the couple engages in early sexual activity. Such familiarity interferes with intimacy and weakens the marital bond ever after.

It may be a stretch, but this understanding reminds me of my efforts to build model airplanes as a kid. My friends made wonderful planes out of balsa wood, but I could never get one finished. Why? Because I was too impatient to wait for the glue to dry. I just couldn’t keep my hands off the pieces long enough for them to congeal.

Romantic relationships that began with touching, kissing, fondling, and intercourse in the early dating days do damage to the bond. So if you want to enjoy an intimate friendship that will remain vibrant for a lifetime, the key is simple: Just keep your hands off one another until the glue dries.

Dr. James Dobson, Coming Home, Timeless Wisdom for Families, (Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton; 1998), pp. 36-37

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