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The Ideal Preacher

After hundreds of fruitless years, a model minister has been found to suit everyone. It is guaranteed that he will please all the people in any church.

  • He preaches only 20 minutes, but thoroughly expounds the Word.
  • He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone’s feelings.
  • He works from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m., doing every type work, from preaching in the pulpit to janitor work.
  • He makes $200 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books regularly, has a nice family, drives a nice car, and gives $50 a week to the church.
  • He stands ready to give to any good cause, also.
  • His family is completely model in deportment, dress, and attitude.
  • He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years.
  • He is tall, short, thin, heavyset, handsome, has one brown eye and one blue eye, hair parted in the middle, left side dark and straight, right side blond and wavy.
  • He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spend all his time with the older people.
  • He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work.
  • He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched, and is never out of the office.

Darrell W. Robinson, Total Church Life, (Broadman & Holman Publishers, Nashville; 1997), p. 64

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