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Hebrews 11:4

Last Yak

Next time you’re walking past a cemetery on a dark, eerie night and think you hear voices from the past, well. . . you may be right.

Graveyard ghosts? No, talking tombstones. This newfangled graveyard gizmo, known officially by its U. S. patent number 4169970, enables the departed to leave (prior to their departure, of course) up to a two-hour statement for posterity.

Developed by Stan Zelazny and Mike Opiela and marketed by a firm in Sunnyvale, California, the audio epitaph is embedded in the tombstone and is solar-powered. Cemetery survivors can therefore listen to the cadaver’s palaver again and again and again, providing it’s a sunny day.

Graveyard gabbers will find, however, that getting the last yak does not come cheap. The 10,000 price tag is rather stiff, but it will enable the entombment entrepreneurs to rest in peace . . . and prosperity.

C. L. , September 1981