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Q. How should I find a good church? What should I look for?

I respectfully ask on behalf of my husband and myself: how are we to find a church that truly teaches biblically? We have attended various churches over the years which we did not stay at because we felt their teaching was too worldly. The more we study, the more we can see many do not line up with God’s Word. Many churches allow divorced men to be preachers [lead pastors] and women to be preachers. We also have visited churches that felt like attending a “rock concert” with a full loud band. We have been trying to find a place to worship and fellowship with other believers since the end of covid. We have been praying over this for quite some time. Can you give us any guidance on this?

Thank you,

--********

Answer

Dear Sister ********,

You have raised a very important question. I think you may already know that I have been associated with the same church since 1976, and I have served as an elder for most of that time, but have recently stepped down so that younger men may assume more leadership. Before coming to Dallas, to attend Dallas Seminary, I had grown up in Baptist churches.  The last church we attended before leaving Washington State for seminary was a wonderful little country Bible church, which played a very significant role in my life, and was instrumental in my decision to quit teaching school to attend seminary.

All that to say that my wife and I have been greatly blessed to be a part of several very fine churches, so your experience is not my own. Nevertheless, I realize that many people share your frustration with trying to find a good church.

Your question is important because the church is so important in God’s program, and to each of us personally.

14 I am writing these things to you, hoping to come to you before long; 15 but in case I am delayed, I write so that you may know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth (1 Timothy 3:14-15, NAS).

you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 2:5).

And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fulness of Him who fills all in all. (Eph. 1:22-23 NAS)

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, having been built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone (Ephesians 2:19-20).

8 To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ, 9 and to bring to light what is the administration of the mystery which for ages has been hidden in God, who created all things; 10 in order that the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was in accordance with the eternal purpose which He carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord (Ephesians 3:8-11).

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21).

19 Since therefore, brethren, we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; 24 and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near (Hebrews 10:19-25).

There is yet another important reason why the church is so important to us:

14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; 15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love (Ephesians 4:14-16).

4 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. 6 And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. 7 But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 8 For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit; 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 and to another the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills. 12 For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body is not one member, but many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired. 19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be? 20 But now there are many members, but one body. 21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 23 and those members of the body, which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our unseemly members come to have more abundant seemliness, 24 whereas our seemly members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, 25 that there should be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:4-25).

Who would have thought that God would unify the church by uniquely gifting each and every member, so that every member is dependent on the others, and the others would suffer without the contribution of any of the other members. The church is a body that is dependent upon the proper function of each and every member.

This means that we should be diligent in our efforts to find a good church, and also very reluctant to remain unrelated to a church.

It doesn’t take long in the New Testament epistles to reach the conclusion that churches, like individual saints, have their flaws,1 as well as their strengths.2 Just as in any marriage, we must learn to live together with our own flaws, and the flaws of our mate. What this means is that in order to choose a church we will need to have a list of important characteristics, and then determine those which are essential and non-negotiable, and distinguish these from other preferences and ideals which we can live without, if we must.

I have had some familiarity with international churches. Here, expatriates are a long way from home, and the religion of the country where they sojourn is not compatible with Christianity. Yet they sense the need to gather as believers for teaching and worship. It is quite interesting to see that Christians with very different views can worship together in such settings. Non-essentials are set aside, so that Calvinists and non-Calvinists can now worship together, as can Charismatics and non-Charismatics.

I believe that it is important for you to discern what church beliefs and practices are essential, and non-negotiable, and which ones can be set aside, if necessary. So, what are some features of a church can we identify in order to determine how important they are. The church which has the greatest number of essential features will thus be high on the list of likely candidates.

I must confess that one thing that frustrates me, and which makes searching for a good church more difficult, is the current trend of churches changing their names to something so generic that you don’t have any clue as to its distinctives. Often, it may be a street name, or number, or the name of the area where the church meets. It would be interesting to discover why the name change was performed. (Our church, Community Bible Chapel, wanted its name to be accurate and informative?)

Let me share the things which I would look for in a church I would attend and share in its ministry:

  • The Gospel and sound doctrine:

A good church should not only have a very clear gospel message, but should also emphasize evangelism and discipleship. I believe that the primary purpose of the church gatherings is not to attract the lost and preach the gospel to them week after week, but to build up Christians, so that they are equipped to do the work of the ministry (see Ephesians 4:11-12). (I would want the gospel to be clearly presented every week, even if briefly, so that no one would leave the church that day without hearing the gospel, and men’s need for it.)

If you can get a sense of the church’s history, you might seek to learn how the church has changed over the past years? Is it moving in the right direction?

  • Preaching and teaching.

Are those who teach gifted with the gift of teaching? Is their preaching that which simply does the thinking for the congregation, telling them what to believe and what to do, or is it a ministry that expects every believing member to become a good student of God’s Word (a Berean – Acts 17:10-11), and helps to equip them for this task (see Hebrews 5:12-14; 1 Corinthians 3:1ff.)?

Is most of the preaching topical, or does it focus on teaching entire books of the Bible? Are the topics simply “hot” topics with catchy titles, intended to lure people to church?

Let me offer a word of caution here. Radio, television, and the internet have now made the teaching of “superstar preachers” available, even to people in very remote places. Be careful when comparing a certain pastor to these “superstars” that you don’t dismiss the value these less prominent men (hopefully men!). The “superstar” pastors may be gifted teachers, but they cannot “shepherd the flock” that they are not a part of. “Superstar” preachers may provide excellent supplemental teaching, but don’t write off the ministry of preachers who are less spectacular, but good shepherds.

  • Church growth.

I don’t mean, “Is it big, or lots of do folks go there?” I mean, is the church vibrant, or is it dying on the vine? Is younger leadership emerging, or have such folks given up and moved on? How stable is the congregation? Do folks just flow in and flow out? How active is the church in greeting newcomers, and then in getting to know them and their needs, to better minister to them?

Are new believers (and baptisms) frequent?

  • Cooperation, or competition.

Do you get the sense that this church is eager to interact with other sound churches, or is it competitive?

  • Culture. (The Bible calls it “the world” – Romans 12:2).

Does this church seem to work too hard at accommodating our culture, or living in contrast to it? Are the Scriptures set aside to justify the cultural practices and trends of the day?

  • Finances and the church’s budget.

How much money do they spend on property, on staff, on missions and evangelism, on youth ministry, on giving to those in need? This should be compared to how funds were spent in the New Testament churches.

  • Leadership:

Does the church have “Lone Ranger” leadership, where one man, or just a couple of paid staff leads the ministry? Or is it a church which is led by a plurality of men, who truly serve as shepherds of the flock?

Is there a church staff, and, if so, does this staff equip and facilitate the church body for ministry, or are they viewed as those paid to do the ministry themselves?

Are the elders (leaders) dinosaurs, who won’t let go of leadership, or do they actively seek to develop and embrace new leadership?

  • Music.

Is it doctrinally sound? Is there a mix of hymns with solid contemporary songs? Are musicians dressed appropriately, and not given to somewhat seductive dress or demeanor? (Sometimes there is too much swinging and swaying.)

  • Worship.

It is not enough to call the preaching service a “worship service.” Is there worship which looks something like what we read about in 1 Corinthians 14? In other words, is the congregation actively participating in worship, or are they only spectators, watching a performance?

Is it a church to which I could bring my friends and neighbors?

  • Diversity.

I use this word reluctantly, and not in the way it is commonly used today. God purposely designed the church to embrace Jews and Gentiles, rich and poor, slave and free, male and female. Is there diversity in age, race, sex, and even to a certain degree, beliefs (on lesser matters)? By this I mean could a person feel welcome if they were not in a certain age group, or socio-economic class?

  • Small Groups.

In addition to the large meetings for teaching and worship, are there small groups, where folks get to know each other well, and can minister to one another?

So, what to do? Obviously, you have looked at a lot of churches, and seen little to encourage you. It may mean that you have to drive a ways to find a church. Some folks may even move to be close to a good one. Others may find a few others who are like-minded and meet with them as a kind of house church. Some may attend a church which has good teaching, but find fellowship in a different way (as in a house church). I am sure that there are some believers, in various places in the world, where a family may have to worship by themselves, but this would be the least desirable option. We know that television and the Internet now provide good teaching that we may not find locally. That may mean that we get our teaching in one place, but that we will have to have fellowship, worship, and communion in another way. It may be that at this point you ask the Lord to lead you to a few like-minded folks with whom you could meet for Bible study, prayer, fellowship, and worship.

My prayers are with you,

Bob


1 See Revelation 2 and 3.

2 I may not have chapter and verse as proof for this, but over the years I have come to the conclusion that churches are like individual Christians.  If you look at the four functions listed in Acts 2:42 (apostles’ doctrine, fellowship, breaking bread, and prayer), and add other functions like encouragement (Hebrews 10:25), edification (1 Corinthians 14:3, 12, 26), and the three functions listed in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, then, over time, it becomes evident that some churches excel in some of these categories, but not in others.

Related Topics: Basics for Christians, Christian Education, Christian Life, Ecclesiology (The Church)

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