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The Problem: Step 10

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Abstract:

Sex in marriage is much the same as enjoying a well-prepared, satisfying meal together. Frigidity develops in the marriage bed for any number of reasons, but one reason seems far too common. Let’s say (with an expanded metaphor) that a newly married couple spends a great deal of time preparing a beautiful meal one evening. They shop for the ingredients, cook together on the expensive kitchen appliances, and serve up an attractive meal on a nice set of dishes. Then they sit down to eat by candlelight at the kitchen table. Ideally, they both should be served, eat their fill, and push back from the table satisfied. How awkward it would be, however, for the husband to alone be served—if he digs in and enjoys the meal alone, and with a full belly leaves the table to get ready for sleep. His wife, on the other hand, watched him get satisfied while only being permitted to smell the food herself. The next evening she walks into the kitchen and there’s her husband at the stove beginning another delicious meal. But that night, too, he eats until he’s satisfied and she gets to smell only. How inclined would she be to go shopping at the grocery store the next day and labor over a hot stove only to smell the delicious food again? What about the next night? From time to time, she wants to eat and be satisfied, too. After a period of time, cooking is going to seem much more like a chore than a joy. Husbands must learn the secret of shopping together, cooking together, eating together, and being satisfied together.

Reflection Questions:

Does your wife enjoy sex? Is she satisfied with your sexual relationship?

Are you cooking together, eating together, and being satisfied together in your marriage bed?

Meditation verse:

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in your young wife – a loving doe, a graceful deer; may her breasts satisfy you at all times, may you be captivated by her love always. (Proverbs 5:18-19)

Related Topics: Sexual Purity