7. Forms and Checklists for Pre-Marriage Counseling And/Or Wedding
Couples Checklist
|
DATE |
Action | |
|
________. |
1. |
After receiving Pre-Marriage Counseling Policies and Request Form, individually read and sign the form, and return to the church Office. |
|
________. |
2. |
Receive Wedding Information Packet following return of Request form. |
|
________. |
3. |
First meeting date and time:________________________ . |
|
________. |
4. |
Return Building Use Form if wedding is at the church. |
|
________. |
5. |
Second meeting date and time:____________________ . |
|
________. |
6. |
Third meeting date and time:____________________ . |
|
________. |
7. |
After approval by your Counselors, confirm date with Office |
|
________. |
8. |
Send Information for Florist and Caterer sheets |
|
________. |
9. |
Fourth meeting date and time:____________________ . |
|
________. |
10. |
Fifth meeting date and time:________________________. |
|
Contact |
Name |
Phone |
|
Building Manager: |
__________________________. |
________________________ |
|
Wedding Liaison: |
__________________________. |
________________________ |
|
Wedding Secretary: |
__________________________ |
________________________ |
Wedding Request Form
Date _____________
BRIDE ______________________________________________________________________________
|
Res. Phone |
Bus. Phone | ||||
|
Address |
City |
State |
Zip: | ||
|
Church |
Do you attend regularly? | ||||
|
Born-again believer in Jesus Christ? |
Do both parents approve? | ||||
|
Number of previous engagements |
Number of previous marriages | ||||
|
Pre-Marriage Counseling: Where? |
With Whom? | ||||
GROOM _____________________________________________________________________________
|
Res. Phone |
Bus. Phone | ||||
|
Address |
City |
State |
Zip: | ||
|
Church |
Do you attend regularly? | ||||
|
Born-again believer in Jesus Christ? |
Do both parents approve? | ||||
|
Number of previous engagements |
Number of previous marriages | ||||
|
Pre-Marriage Counseling: Where? |
With Whom? | ||||
(If known, please provide the following information.):
|
Planned date |
Time | ||
|
Place of wedding |
Place of reception | ||
|
Rehearsal date |
Time | ||
|
Officiant’s name |
Phone (H) |
(W) | |
|
Officiant’s church | |||
|
Person helping with wedding arrangements (mother, friend, wedding consultant): | |||
|
Name |
Phone | ||
|
Number of Attendants |
Number of Guests | ||
|
Florist |
Phone | ||
|
Caterer |
Phone | ||
A formal request to pursue Pre-Marriage Counseling and Wedding plans at the church may be made by individually signing below that you have read and agree with the enclosed policies. Please return this form within two weeks from the above date to the church office.
|
BRIDE __________________________________________ |
GROOM _________________________________________ |
|
FOR Church USE | |||
|
Dates forms sent: |
Office Personnel |
Date Returned | |
|
Assigned Pre-marriage counselor: |
Date | ||
|
Final approval by: |
Date | ||
Information For Florist
The wedding party must provide all decorations, flower containers, dripless candles, table linens, dishes, etc. The wedding party assumes responsibility for arranging for all equipment and decorations to be removed immediately following the wedding/reception. The church provides only the re-cleaning of the building after everything has been removed. The piano or the organ must not be moved.
Dripless candles are permitted at the front of the auditorium only. Non-flammable, protective material must be placed under all candles to protect the carpeting. Candles are not permitted in the aisles or windows.
No nails, thumb tacks, staples, or screws are to be used in any part of the building or on furniture. Be careful not to block air-conditioning or heating vents.
The florist should contact the church office during normal Office hours for delivery or set up. A 2:00 p.m. closing time should be given to delivery personnel as they are often late, and the Office will be closed. Any other access to the building must be arranged through the church Office from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. weekdays. The church will accept deliveries of rental equipment if financial arrangements have been settled by the responsible party. We cannot accept C.O.D. deliveries.
Please note that:
- Supplies stored in the refrigerator are stored at your own risk.
- Smoking is not permitted inside the building.
- Birdseed only is permitted outside the building.
- The florist or wedding party is responsible to remove all floral decorations and accompanying equipment.
The wedding party assumes full responsibility for any damage, loss or breakage of Chapel property.
Please give this information sheet to your florist.
Information For Caterer
The church’s kitchen is available for your wedding and/or reception. The Parlor is normally used for the reception. A reception involves the wedding party being willing to provide:
1) Set up
2) Food service personnel
3) Clean up after the wedding and/or reception.
The kitchen, parlor and all used facilities should be left in the condition in which they are found.
The caterer or wedding party is responsible for providing any and all needed supplies.
The wedding party, or the caterer, should contact the church office during normal Office hours for delivery or set up. A 2:00 p.m. closing time should be given to delivery personnel as they are often late, and the Office will be closed. Any other access to the building must be arranged through the church Office from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. weekdays. The church will accept deliveries of rental equipment if financial arrangements have been settled by the responsible party. We cannot accept C.O.D. deliveries.
Supplies stored in the refrigerator are stored at your own risk. We do have a freezer for storage and an ice machine. Leftover food and supplies must be removed immediately after your wedding/reception. If there is no caterer, the wedding party should assign someone this responsibility, and indicate on your building use form their name and telephone number.
Please note that:
- The piano or organ must not be moved.
- Our facility does not have storage room available after the wedding.
- Smoking is not permitted inside the building.
- ALL REFUSE MUST BE TAKEN TO THE DUMPSTERS IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR WEDDING.
Please give a copy of this information sheet to your caterer.
Information For Wedding Liaison
A church Wedding Liaison who represents the church and its policies will be available for the wedding rehearsal and wedding ceremony to help your wedding go smoothly.
She will assist the Officiant in both the Processional and Recessional, assist in lining up the wedding party, sending each one down the aisle at the appropriate time, coordinating with the pianist or organist when it is time for the bride to enter, and straighten her train, etc. If you have a Wedding Consultant, she will be happy to work with her.
She will alert ushers when it is time to seat people, and, at the proper time, have grandparents or other family members seated, followed by the parents.
At the rehearsal, she will work with the Officiant to assist in placement of bridesmaids and groomsmen for balance, and mark their places with masking tape for the wedding.
The Wedding Liaison will conduct a bridal interview to discuss details of your wedding and rehearsal. While she may be able to offer helpful suggestions for your reception, the reception will be the responsibility of the wedding party.
The Wedding Liaison will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the church. A bridal room is available for the bride's party; groomsmen may dress in the Conference Room.
Please give this information sheet to your Wedding Consultant if applicable.
Planning Your Ceremony
1. Mood of the ceremony:
How would you like your ceremony to be distinctly Christian?
What mood do you want to prevail at your wedding ceremony?
How does the music and those participating relate to this mood?
What impression do you want to leave with the audience?
What memories do you want to cherish about your ceremony?
Other comments:
2. How can the one officiating at the wedding help you create this mood and convey these impressions, which you desire?
3. In what ways do your feel you ceremony will be glorifying to our Lord Jesus Christ?
4. Both of you may wish to consider giving your testimonies (how you met Christ and how He brought you together) or both praying at the conclusion of your wedding. Have you considered this?
5. Important information:
Date and time of wedding rehearsal ____________________________________________________
Date and time of wedding ceremony ____________________________________________________
Location of rehearsal and ceremony ____________________________________________________
Have you completed all arrangements and reservations for the use of facilities for your wedding?
Location of wedding reception _________________________________________________________
Name of wedding consultant __________________________________________________________
Name of florist _____________________________________________________________________
Name of caterer ____________________________________________________________________
(When will the caterer need to be on site to set up for the wedding?___________________________)
6. Concerning the Rehearsal:
Be on time!
Please insist on the presence of all members of the bridal party at the rehearsal.
Invite your marriage consultant to be present. Also make it clear that the minister will
conduct the entire rehearsal, but would appreciate any comments or suggestions.
The church secretary responsible for weddings will be present to help you as well.
Plan on at least one hour for the rehearsal.
Bring your marriage license to the rehearsal and give it to the one officiating.
Remember that what is done at the rehearsal sets the tone for the ceremony. Your
attitude and conduct at the rehearsal will set the standard for others.
The same can be said for the rehearsal dinner (if any). Here the groom will be
responsible for setting the tone for the evening. I would suggest that you consider
giving your testimonies to the bridal party, thus setting the tone for the occasion. In the
past, wedding rehearsal dinners have proven to be excellent opportunities for
witnessing. You may wish to consider this in the placement of members of the wedding
party at the table.
7. Please prepare the following diagrams and give them to the officiant before the wedding rehearsal:
A diagram of your processional (Names of each person in the proper place).
A diagram of the wedding party standing at the front of the auditorium. (Again with the
names of the party in their positions, and also indicate the location of microphones for
soloist, etc.)
A diagram of your recessional, with the names of the party in their positions.
8. Concerning your vows, you have three options:
Leave the choice to the one officiating.
From a variety of selections which are available for your consideration, you may choose the one you prefer.
Write your own vows. If this is the option you choose, the vows ought to be submitted to the one officiating, at the last session, for his approval. These vows should reflect your desire to follow the Scriptures in your marriage. They should also be concise.
Which option will you take? _________________________________________________________
Will you memorize your vows or repeat them after the one officiating? _______________________
9. The wedding party: Please assist the officiant by listing those in the wedding party by name.
Bride’s parents:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Maid (maiden) of honor:
____________________________________________________
Bridesmaids:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Others (include their relationship to the bride, if pertinent):
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Groom’s parents:
___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Best man:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Ushers:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Others (Again, give relationship to groom, if pertinent):
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
10. A suggested order for the ceremony:
Organ Prelude by
__________________________________________________________________
Lighting of Candles by
______________________________________________________________
Seating of groom’s parents by
_________________________________________________________
Seating of bride’s mother by
__________________________________________________________
Enter: minister, groom, best man, etc.
Processional: As bride enters, organ introduces her; audience stands (as prompted by bride’s mother standing).
Solo (when all the bridal party is at the front in their positions):
Title of solo
__________________________________________________________________
Name of soloist
___________________________________________________________________
“Who is giving away the bride?”
Bride kisses the father.
Bride’s father seated.
Ascend platform
Message: The Meaning of Christian Marriage
Vows: Which selection have you chosen?
_______________________________________________
Exchange of Rings.
Pronouncement of Husband and Wife.
Optional: Lighting of single candle from two candles (Genesis 2:24) yes / no
Prayer: You have several options (circle your choices):
Use of a kneeler? yes / no
Prayer with no “Amen” followed by solo, “The Lord’s Prayer”. yes / no
Prayer by minister only. yes / no
Prayer by groom, bride, then minister. yes / no
Solo (optional): yes / no
Title of solo
______________________________________________________________________
Name of soloist
___________________________________________________________________
Congratulations by minister
Presentation of Mr. & Mrs. _______________________________________ to audience.
Recessional
How do you want the audience dismissed? En masse? _____________ or by rows? _____________
Do you wish to have the minister announce time and place of reception? ______________________
11. Concerning your pictures:
Be sure to check with the church or facility, as well as the officiant, concerning regulations regarding the taking of pictures during the ceremony. Some, due to tradition, shy away from picture taking before the ceremony, but generally it is easier on the bridal party and the audience to have most of the pictures taken in advance. These decisions should be discussed and made in advance.
12. One final word:
You should assume the responsibility for the conduct of individuals at your wedding (rehearsal and ceremony). If there is likelihood of the use of tobacco or alcoholic beverages, please inform them politely not to do so either during the rehearsal or the wedding. This will spare many difficult situations.
Wedding Rehearsal
1. Begin with prayer.
2. Introduction of those involved in the wedding
Groom introduces his relatives, groomsmen and ushers.
Bride introduces her relatives and bridal party.
I introduce the church wedding consultant and those assisting in the wedding who will discuss where the microphones are to be placed, what time the caterers will arrive, review the church rules, and if the wedding will be taped.
3. Instructions
Ushers
____________________________, ____________________________ are lighting the candles.
The candles are to be lit at (time): ______________________________.
Seating instructions:
Offer the right arm to ladies 14 years and older.
Seat Bride’s friends on the left, groom’s on the right (from the rear of the auditorium).
If one side of the auditorium becomes over-crowded, seat people on the other side.
__________________________ will seat the groom’s grandparents.
__________________________ will seat the bride’s grandparents.
__________________________ will seat the groom’s parents.
__________________________ will seat the bride’s mother.
Bride’s mother
She stands (when I nod to her) as the bride enters, signaling the audience to stand.
Bridesmaids and Ushers
Everyone starts down the aisle on his/her left foot.
Walk naturally, in time with the music, and slowly.
Four pews spacing between bridesmaids and between groomsmen, with 6 pews spacing between last groomsman and first bridesmaid.
4. Order of processional
Processional
Groom’s grandmother
Bride’s grandmother
Groom’s mother
Bride’s mother
Pastor – Groom – Best Man
Ushers
Groomsmen
Bridesmaids
Matron of Honor (Optional: the one who assists the bride precedes the bride)
Maid of Honor
Ring Bearer
Flower Girl
Bride on father’s left arm traditionally
Recessional
Reverse of the above
5. Wedding party at front of auditorium
Stand wedding party in place at front but not on platform (watch for symmetry, with tallest to the outside, thus coming in first).
Groomsmen stand 10 inches apart with all hands to your side or with all hands crossed in front.
Father gives daughter his left arm and escorts her down the aisle. Show him how to hand off the bride. (Bride may kiss father farewell). To avoid stepping on the Bride’s train, father takes one large step backward before turning to take his seat.
6. Ascending platform
Bride hands bouquet to Maid/Matron of Honor, allowing her to use both hands to raise skirt.
Groom holds her right elbow securely.
Bride takes bouquet back.
7. Wedding party on the platform
Bride hands bouquet to Maid/Matron of Honor when she takes ring.
Bride and Groom turn toward each other for ring exchange.
When exchanging rings, don’t be concerned about getting ring on all the way. Simply let the other person work it on slowly as the ceremony proceeds.
8. Recessional
Bride gets flowers back from Maid/Matron of Honor.
Bride turns and Maid/Matron of Honor arranges Bride’s train behind her.
Bride and Groom exit, followed by Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor, then remaining wedding party exits.
Leave happily, but not hastily – with dignity.
9. Walk though the ceremony once or twice until all are comfortable with it.
10. Exact order of ceremony:
11. Final instructions
Directions concerning rehearsal dinner, when, where, how to get there.
When to arrive for the wedding.
the church wedding consultant will show dressing rooms, if necessary.
Wedding Party Schedule
We appreciate your participation in our wedding! This list should help each of us, so please read it carefully, and feel free to ask any question you may have.
1. ALL ATTENDANTS arrive at the church at ___________________________________.
2. INSTRUMENTALISTS arrive at the church at _________________________________.
3. WOMEN may dress in the Bride’s Room.
4. MEN may dress in the Conference Room.
5. PHOTOGRAPHER will begin taking pictures at _______________________________.
6. (Arrive 15 minutes prior to this time!)
7. BOUTONNIERE for the Groomsmen and Groom to be worn on LEFT side.
8. ALL USHERS will escort women on RIGHT arm. Seat Bride’s friends on LEFT, Groom’s on RIGHT, or balance the seating if Bride/Groom desire (ask).
9. Bride on Father’s LEFT arm.
10. Everyone starts down the aisle on his or her LEFT foot. Set your pace naturally, in time with the music, slowly and enjoyably!
11. PLEASE – no chewing gum!
12. Mothers will be seated at five minutes until ____________ (time of wedding).
13. GROOMSMEN, please help your Bridesmaid up and down the steps with your RIGHT arm; secure her arm BEFORE you start UP or DOWN the steps.
14. Look pleasant during the ceremony; this is a joyous occasion.
15. AFTER THE CEREMONY, go immediately to ________________________________.
16. There (will will not) be a receiving line. If not, mix, mingle, have fun.
Wedding Vows
Selection 1
GROOM: I, ___________________________ take you, ________________________________
to be my wedded wife;
And I do covenant and promise;
Before God and these witnesses
To be your loving and faithful husband;
In plenty and in want;
In joy and in sorrow;
In sickness and in health;
As long as we both shall live.
BRIDE: I, ___________________________ take you, ____________________________________
to be my wedded husband;
And I do covenant and promise;
Before God and these witnesses
To be your loving and faithful wife;
In plenty and in want;
In joy and in sorrow;
In sickness and in health;
As long as we both shall live.
Selection 2
GROOM: I, ___________________________ take you, ________________________________
to be my wedded wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish
as long as we both shall live
according to God’s holy ordinance,
and thereto I pledge thee my troth.
BRIDE: I, ___________________________ take you, ____________________________________
to be my wedded husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish
as long as we both shall live
according to God’s holy ordinance,
and thereto I give thee my troth.
Selection 3
GROOM: I, ___________________________ take you, ____________________________________
to be my wedded wife,
With deepest joy I receive you into my life,
That together we may be one.
As Christ is to the Church, so I will be to you –
A loyal, sacrificial husband,
Always performing my headship over you,
Even as Christ does over me.
I promise you my deepest love and tender care.
No matter where the Lord may lead us,
I pledge you my life,
As a loving and faithful husband.
BRIDE: I, ___________________________ take you, ____________________________________
to be my wedded husband.
With deepest joy I enter my new life with you.
As is the Church in her relationship to Christ,
So I will be to you.
I submit myself to your headship as to the Lord.
I will live for you,
loving you,
learning from you, and
seeking to please you,
I pledge you my life
As a loving, obedient and faithful wife.
(optional) – that like Ruth, I may say,
“Wither thou goest, I will go;
Where thou lodgest, I will lodge
Thy people shall be my people;
And thy God, my God.”
Selection 4
GROOM: I, ____________________________________________________
acknowledge before God and these witnesses
that God has brought ________________________________ to me
to become one with me,
as my companion and counterpart and help,
as long as we both shall live.
_________________________________, according to God’s Word,
and by His grace,
I vow to be your loving leader,
your faithful provider and protector,
even as Christ is to His church.
BRIDE: I, ____________________________________________________
acknowledge before God and these witnesses
that God has led me
to become one flesh with ________________________________
as his companion and counterpart and helper,
as long as we both shall live.
______________________________________, by God’s grace,
I covenant to be your faithful, submissive, and obedient wife,
even as the church is to be to Christ
This I do
in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ
and to His Word.
(After each has said their vows, they would place the ring on the finger of their partner as a sign or token of this vow.)
Selection 5
GROOM: In God’s perfect will and the presence of these friends,
I take you, ________________________________, to be my wife
to love, honor, and respect from this day forward,
I promise to provide for you, protect and defend you
as God shall make me able.
I will strive without ceasing to edify, encourage and instruct you,
according to the command of the lord Jesus Christ.
With the love God has so freely manifested in me,
I shall endeavor to give likewise this same affection to you.
I vow my life to you, trusting in the providence of God,
the power of the Holy Spirit,
and the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ,
in whom all things hold together.
BRIDE: _____________________________________, I take you to be my husband,
and give to you all that I am and have.
Through the power and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
I promise to love you with all of my being;
to honor, respect and esteem you above all others,
submitting to your loving leadership in all things as unto Christ.
I will comfort and care for you,
endeavoring always to encourage and edify you.
As we are blessed of God with children,
I will strive to bring them up in the love of God,
instructing them in His ways.
As Jesus Christ is the most important person in our lives
because He gives us life,
I will seek to help you attain the stature and fullness of Christ
as we serve him together,
from this day forward.
Selection 5a
ALTERNATE BRIDE’S VOW: ________________________________, because we are both at peace
in the assurance that our Lord planned and blesses our coming together,
I entrust my life and my love to you from this day forward.
I come to you with my need for you strength,
your understanding, and your tender care –
needs you have so lovingly developed in me by completely filling them for me.
And I will strive with Christ’s help
to make you a sensitive, gentle, and godly wife,
and with His strength and guidance, I’ll stand with you through everything.
I’ll laugh with you and share your happiness, but, as well,
I’ll comfort you in your sadness.
I’ll care for you when you’re ill.
I’ll honor you in your hours of strength.
And, I’ll joyfully submit to you as the head of our home
because I respect you and your integrity
and because God planned that it should be this way.
Selection 6
MINISTER: If you, then, ________________________ and ___________________________,
have freely and deliberately chosen each other as partners
in this holy estate,
and know of no just cause why you should not be united,
in token thereof , you will please join your right hands.
GROOM’S VOW: _____________________________, in taking the woman you hold by the right hand
to be your lawful and wedded wife, before God and the witnesses present
you must promise to love her, to honor and cherish her in that relationship
and leaving all others cleave only unto her,
and to be to her in all things a true and faithful husband
so long as you both shall live. Do you so promise?
BRIDE’S VOW: _____________________________, in taking the man you hold by the right hand
to be your lawful and wedded husband, before God and the witnesses present
you must promise to love him, to honor and cherish him in that relationship,
and leaving all others cleave only unto him,
and to be to him in all things a true and faithful wife
so long as you both shall live. Do you so promise?
MINISTER’S RESPONSE: Then are you each given to the other for richer or poorer,
for better or worse, in sickness and in health,
till death shall part you.
GROOM’S RING VOW: What token do you give as an everlasting symbol
of your love, sincerity, and faithfulness?
As a ceaseless reminder of this hour and of the vow you have taken,
place this ring, the symbol of your love,
on the hand of your bride and repeat after me:
“With this ring I thee wed, with loyal love I thee endow,
and all my worldly goods with thee I share,
in the name of the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen”
BRIDE’S RING VOW: What token do you give as an everlasting symbol
of your love, sincerity, faithfulness and submission?
As a ceaseless reminder of this hour and of the vow you have taken,
place this ring, the symbol of your love,
on the hand of your groom and repeat after me:
“With this ring , I thee wed, with loyal love I thee endow,
and all my worldly goods with thee I share,
in the name of the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen”
Selection 7
MINISTER: ________________________, do you take ___________________________,
Whose hand you hold, to be your lawfully wedded wife
and do you sincerely promise in the presence of this company
and in reverence before God,
to love, honor, and protect her through sunshine and shadow, alike,
keeping yourself unto her alone,
until death shall separate you?
Do you? (I do.)
____________________________, do you take this man, whose hand you hold,
to be your lawfully wedded husband; do you sincerely promise
in reverence for God and in the presence of this company
to be to him a loving, tender, and true wife,
through sunshine and shadow, alike,
keeping yourself unto him alone,
until death shall separate you.
Do you? (I do.)
Now will you repeat these vows.
I, ________________________, take thee ___________________________,
to be my wedded wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy ordinance,
and thereto I plight thee my troth.
And _____________________, will you likewise repeat these vows.
I, ________________________, take thee ___________________________,
to be my wedded husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part,
according to God’s holy ordinance,
and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Now in God’s sacred providence with us, He has given us reminding tokens and following this precedence you have chosen rings. These rings are fitting symbols of this relationship in two respects. The ring is fashioned of the most precious metal, which suggests the most priceless relationship on earth, that of a Christian home. Furthermore, the ring represents the permanency of the marriage union, until it’s broken by the outside force of death.
___________________________, in placing this ring,
will you repeat after me these words.
I, _________________________, give thee this ring, ___________________________,
As a token of my love,
and I pledge thee my loyalty and devotion
until death separates us.
I, _________________________, give thee this ring, ___________________________,
as a token of my love,
and I pledge thee my loyalty and devotion
until death separates us.
Related Topics: Administrative and Organization, Weddings, Marriage