[Choosing a Good Husband 9] Attitudes, Part 2: Correction, Money
For the commandments are like a lamp, instruction is like a light, and rebukes of discipline are like the road leading to life . . . . (Proverbs 6:23)
Rebuke (correction) is not easy for anyone to take; advice is something we would all rather give than receive.
But Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us that the Lord disciplines __________________________.
Hebrews 12:10-11 tells us why:
There are numerous avenues of correction that God uses when He is trying to get someone’s attention. Find some of them in the following verses:
· 2 Timothy 3:16-17
· Proverbs 13:1
· Ecclesiastes 7:5
· Romans 13:5
· Job 27:6
· John 16:7-8
· Proverbs 22:8
What does Proverbs 15:10 say will be the consequences for a man who “abandons the way” of righteous living?
If he “hates” reproof, what will be the result?
What else does the Bible say about a man who hates correction in Proverbs 12:1?
Read Proverbs 29:1.
What does it mean to be “stiff-necked”?
Like a loving parent, God gives us many chances to respond to discipline and to correct unacceptable behavior. But repeated refusal to respond to correction can lead to very serious consequences.
The following verses explain some of the positive benefits of confession and repentance as a proper response to correction. What are they?
· Proverbs 15:32
· Proverbs 28:13
· Proverbs 29:15
· Psalm 32:3-5
· 2 Chronicles 7:14
These verses discuss some improper responses to correction. What are they?
· Proverbs 9:7-8
· Proverbs 13:19
· Proverbs 14:9
· Proverbs 19:3
· Proverbs 26:11
· Proverbs 26:18-19
· Proverbs 28:14
Now answer these questions about your boyfriend, and give examples where you can:
· Does he insult or hate someone who has corrected his behavior?
· Does he abhor/resent having to do what is right or having to give up something that is not right?
· Does he make a mockery of his punishment if he does something wrong?
· Is he willing to make amends if he has offended or wronged someone?
· Does he blame God when he experiences the consequences of poor choices, instead of owning his own mistakes?
· Does he learn from his mistakes, or does he repeat them?
· Can he admit his guilt if caught in an error, or does he make up excuses or pretend he didn’t mean it?
· Has he hardened his heart by repeatedly refusing correction on some issue?
Read Proverbs 10:17 and 13:18.
In light of these two verses, how will your boyfriend’s attitude toward correction affect you and your children if you marry him?
To every man whom God has given wealth, and possessions,
he has also given him the ability to eat from them, to receive his reward
and to find enjoyment in his toil; these things are the gift of God. (Ecclesiastes 5:19)
A few men begin their adult lives with wealth and possessions, many men obtain them gradually over the course of a lifetime, and some men never achieve wealth. There are no magic formulas for obtaining a good income, but the Bible does have much to say about attitudes regarding money, and how we handle it when we do have it.
Read Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:24-34.
What does He say about priorities?
What does He say about our physical needs?
Let’s look first at some good attitudes and ways of handling money. What are they, and in what do they result?
· Proverbs 11:24-25
· Proverbs 13:11
· 1 Timothy 6:6-8
· 1 Timothy 6:17-19
· Proverbs 22:9
· Proverbs 21:5
· Malachi 3:10
Now answer these questions about the man whom you are considering. If he is in high school or college, he may not yet have regular income or opportunities to make decisions about these things. If that is the case, talk over these issues, then note the choices he makes when his circumstances change and opportunities do become available to him.
· Have you seen him “refresh” someone by the generous use of his money?
If so, when?
· Does he share food (or other necessities) with people who have needs that he knows about?
If so, in what way?
· Is he building a savings account?
· Does he have a financial plan for the future and a budget to help him manage his money?
If not, is he willing to be instructed in sound financial management?
· Is he so intent on amassing great possessions that he is not willing to be content with basic needs or to share what he has with others?
· Is he thankful for what he has and able to enjoy it?
Is he rich in good deeds?
· Does he give a tithe (usually 10%) of his earnings to his church or a Christian ministry organization?
The Bible does not indicate that there is any particular advantage to living with little or to living with much. Neither lifestyle is more holy than the other. God clearly indicates that bad attitudes and evil practices concerning money define an unholy lifestyle more than the amount of money a man earns.
What attitudes or practices concerning money does Solomon warn against in these verses?
· Proverbs 11:26
· Proverbs 14:31
· Proverbs 16:8
· Proverbs 17:23
· Proverbs 23:6-7
· Proverbs 28:8
· Proverbs 28:25
· Proverbs 29:3
· Ecclesiastes 5:10
If you have observed any of these attitudes or behaviors in your boyfriend, you would be wise to reconsider the relationship. Your husband will set the financial tone in your home—be sure it is one that you will agree with and be willing to cooperate with.
In Proverbs 15:6, Solomon contrasts the house of the righteous, which contains _________________________, with the income of the wicked, which brings them _______________.
There are many kinds of “wealth,” some material and some not. List some of the non-material wealth you would like to have in your home:
In Ecclesiastes 7:12, Solomon points out that wisdom and money each may provide some measure of protection in difficult circumstances. But wisdom has an advantage that money does not, he says.
What is it?
A good husband will understand this and will arrange his priorities accordingly.