[Choosing a Good Husband 4] Faithfulness
A faithful person will have an abundance of blessings . . . . (Proverbs 28:20)
Faithfulness is remaining true to a commitment or promise one has made. Biblical faithfulness is two-fold; a godly man will choose to remain consistently faithful both to God and to his wife. He will exhibit behavior that is based on the fact that he made a commitment, not on how he feels at any particular moment.
Claims of unfailing love may not be a true predictor of behavior. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many people profess their loyalty, but a faithful person—who can find?” If you want to assess the likelihood of a man remaining faithful to his marriage vows, don’t ask him, observe him. Here are some things to look for.
Read Romans 1:31-32.
What character traits does this verse indicate often accompany the quality of unfaithfulness (covenant-breaking)?
Do you observe any of these qualities in your boyfriend? _____ If so, which one(s)?
Does he approve of other people who possess these qualities? _____ If so, give an example:
Read Proverbs 29:3 and Psalm 101:3-4. Consider the women in your boyfriend’s circle of friends.
Does he like to keep company with adulterous or seductive women?
Does he have any involvement with prostitution or pornography?
These are serious warning signs that may indicate a lack of commitment to purity. A man who is not committed to purity is not very likely to be committed to a vow to keep himself only for you for the rest of his life.
Watching your boyfriend’s eyes will also tell you a lot about his commitment to you and to purity.
What do these verses say about a man’s eyes?
· Proverbs 17:24
· Matthew 6:22-23
Now answer these questions about the man you are dating:
· Do his eyes focus on you and stay on you when you are talking to him, or does he frequently turn to look at other women?
· How often do his eyes turn to seductive pictures or women when you are shopping with him?
· How often do his eyes linger on other women when you are eating in a restaurant with him?
· What kinds of magazines and books does he read? Do their pictures and content nurture lust?
· Consider the television programs, movies, and computer games he spends time on. Do their pictures and content inspire or feed lust?
A man who obsessively watches other women or feeds his mind with impurity will not be prone to faithfulness. Those habits will significantly influence his behavior choices both before and after marriage.
In Matthew 12:34-35, Jesus revealed another way to determine what is being stored in a man’s heart. What is it?
What does the Bible say about impure words and coarse joking in Ephesians 5:3-4?
Answer these questions about the man you are dating:
· How much of your boyfriend’s humor is laced with sexual overtones?
· Do his words reflect a pure heart?
· Do you want your children to talk like he does?
Read Proverbs 6:32 and 26:11 and 6:23-24.
A man who has a history of illegitimate sexual involvement (outside of marriage) shows a lack of good judgment and self-control. Unless he genuinely repents and takes steps to develop self-discipline and to avoid temptation, he is very likely to continue to repeat his error even if he marries.
· Was your boyfriend sexually involved with previous girlfriends?
If so, what evidence do you see of genuine repentance and change?
· What steps is he taking to maintain a pure relationship with you prior to marriage?
Read Proverbs 9:13-17.
In this passage, what lie does “Folly” use to tempt the person who lacks judgment?
What does that mean?
Does your boyfriend delight in “getting away with” forbidden things? [Clue: Does he brag about breaking rules or laws and not getting caught?]
The man who is amused by the thrill of getting away with something that is unethical, against the rules, or against the law has a predisposition toward foolishness and a disregard for authority that is likely to lead him into secret sexual relationships outside of his marriage. Avoid aligning yourself with such a man. He is a prime candidate for the lie, “Sex isn’t as much fun if you’re married; a secret relationship is more exciting.”
According to Proverbs 25:19, when is reliance on the unfaithful like a bad tooth or a lame foot?
· What does this mean?
· Is your boyfriend a good help and support in hard times?
· Based on his current behavior, what can you expect from him in the future when life is difficult or painful?
Faithfulness to God
In Numbers 15:39-40, God equates disobedience to his commands with ____________________.
In these verses, what does God say about men who continually walk in faithfulness to Him?
· Proverbs 14:26
· Proverbs 14:32
What does God say about men who do not continually walk in faithfulness to Him?
· Psalm 78:56-57
· Proverbs 13:15
What does it take to remain faithful to God?
· Revelation 14:12
· Numbers 30:2
· Proverbs 14:22
· Proverbs 16:6
Now answer these questions about the man in whom you are interested:
· Does he keep his promises to God?
· How does he plan what is good?
· What evidence do you see that he fears the Lord?
Read these verses, then list the benefits God promises to those who walk in faithful obedience to Him.
· Proverbs 2:7-8
· Proverbs 3:3-4
· Proverbs 14:14
Compare Proverbs 6:32-33 to Exodus 20:5-6.