16. Book Review -- Passport2Purity
Book Title: Passport2Purity
Author: Dennis & Barbara Rainey
Year of Publication: 2004
Pages: About 120
Author’s Web-site: http://www.FamilyLife.com
Full Book Available in: English
You should read this book if you…
Have children entering adolescence – ages 11-15.
“In a nut shell”…
Passport to Purity is a manual that helps you plan a weekend away with your child in order to connect with your children before they enter their teen years. It sets the stage to discuss what to expect physically, emotionally and socially. It gives them principles to help them decide in advance what their convictions will be in areas of friendships, dating and sex.
Prepare for the adventure of being a teenager. Your child is going to make some pivotal choices during their teen years. This book helps set the stage for parents to discuss important issues such as peer pressure, sex and dating. There is only a small window that your child will seek their parent’s direction and advice. It is important to have open communication now to develop a close parent/child relationship.
There are discussions on peer pressure. It’s important for a child to decide in advance how they are going to handle it when all their friends are drinking and having sex. Principles from the Bible will help them make wiser decisions.
What is sex? What does the Bible say about it? What boundaries will you set? If your child makes these decisions in advance, they will be prepared during the given time.
What is dating and what is the purpose of dating? Parents need to be involved with the dating experience of their child.
Set up a special time with your child. Preferably, set up an overnight road trip.
1. Make this a special time. Set some money aside for a nice dinner out and buying a small gift for your child to remember this time together.
2. Plan ahead and make appointments if necessary. Buy tickets to a ball game, movie, make an appointment to get your nails done, etc.
3. How well do you know your child? (Some questions to think about)
a. What is his/her best friend?
b. Who is his/her greatest hero?
c. What embarrasses his/her most?
d. What’s his/her biggest fear?
e. What’s his/her favorite type of music?
f. What makes them angry?
g. What chore does he/she like least?
h. What activity did he/she enjoy most last weekend?
4. Be prepared to share some of your own experiences growing up with your child (how you changed physically, peer pressure from friends, dating). Be careful only to share what is appropriate.
5. Write a letter to your pre-teen. Draft it first. Share your feelings in a natural way. Recognize that he/she is growing up, how much you appreciate them. Highlight some of their key strengths. Share your excitement about this special getaway with them. Indicate your commitment to train and support them through this time and express your unconditional love for them.
6. Be prepared to answer these questions:
a. What is the purpose of sex? Dating? What kind of person do you want to marry? Date?
b. How much sexual activity do you think you should experience prior to marriage? (hugs, holding hands, kissing, passionately hugging and kissing, touching below the neck, touching below the waist, taking clothes off, intercourse). Where do you want to challenge your pre-teen to draw the line? What point is it difficult to stop?
“My guess is that 99.9 percent of all parents look at their eleven- or twelve-year old and don’t have the foggiest idea that he is beginning to grapple with adult issues.” Pg xxi
“Our experience leads us to believe the most pivotal choices are made during the age span of about eleven to fifteen. Wrong choices can tragically alter the course of a child’s life.” Pg xxi
“You must be proactive to train and prepare your preteen for adolescence, or the culture will do it for you.” Pg xxii
“It’s your job to guide your children…You can’t pick them up and carry them to adulthood. They have to walk the path. But they need you as their guide.” Pg xxii
“Maintaining a strong relationship with your child is the key that will enable you to guide him through the teen years.” Pg xxviii
“Every teenager faces traps. These traps can ensnare you. To avoid traps, you need to make wise choices based on your personal convictions.” Pg 4
“Everyone is susceptible to peer pressure. Peer pressure will test your convictions.” “You need to know what to look for in a friend.” Pg 9
“God designed sex within marriage so that you could experience closeness with your husband/wife.” Pg 19
“Treat young women with respect. Keep your sexual desires under control.” Pg 28
“What is the purpose of dating? To discover the person whom God wants you to marry.” Pg 40
How this has changed my parenting…
My daughter feels she can talk to me about anything, where it may have been uncomfortable at first. But this book reinforces that it’s okay and important to have your parents involved in your life and their friends do not have the answers. I also learned a great deal about setting standards and knowing our convictions prior to being tested.
© 2011 The Family Project