10. Characteristics of Worldly Believers—Friends of the World (Genesis 19)

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The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant's house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.” “No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.” But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” “Get out of our way,” they replied. And they said, “This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them.” They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door. But the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house and shut the door. Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door… (Genesis 19)

What are characteristics of worldly believers—friends of the world? If Abraham is pictured as a friend of God in Genesis 18 (cf. Jas 2:23), in Genesis 19, Lot is pictured as a friend of the world (cf. Jas 4:4).

In Scripture, we are warned of this possibility; it is possible for a follower of Christ to be conformed to the world in such a way that it is hard to distinguish him. Paul said this to the Corinthian church:

Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men? (1 Corinthians 3:1–3)

These Christians were acting and living just like the world and, therefore, could not understand or digest the spiritual riches of God’s Word. They were jealous and quarreling with one another. He said, “Are you not acting like mere men?”

Yes, this is at times common of new believers. Though born again and possessing a new nature, they are still worldly and often hard to distinguish from nonbelievers.

Sadly, this is often not only true for young believers but for old believers as well. Many Christians never shed the garment of the world but, instead, become more entrenched in it. This was true of Lot, Abraham’s nephew.

Lot was a believer, as 2 Peter 2:7–8 calls him a righteous man. However, he was righteous because of his faith, not because of his actions. Like Abraham, God justified him because of his faith (cf. Gen 15:6); however, worldliness was still a strong part of his character.

Instead of staying in the promised land with Abraham, in Genesis 13, he sets his tents towards the wicked city of Sodom. He desired Sodom because of its wealth. He looked at it, and it reminded him of Egypt and its wealth (v. 10). No doubt, he was tired of living in tents with Abraham and wanted luxury. He desired the riches of this world, and in the end, it produced destructive fruits in his life and that of his family. In chapter 14, he is living in Sodom. Then, here in Genesis 19, he is at the gates, meaning that he probably achieved his desires. The elders and officials sat at the city gates, where business and legal transactions were conducted. Lot gained the world but, ultimately, lost everything else.

As we consider Lot’s story, one cannot but be reminded of Paul’s teaching about the judgment of believers in 1 Corinthians 3:12–15:

If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

At the judgment seat of Christ, some believers will be rewarded for their faithfulness on earth, while others barely escape the fire. Their lives produced no enduring fruit for God’s kingdom. They were worldly.

Here in this narrative, God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah and Lot loses everything. The worldly success he gained, as he sat at the city gates, was lost. His popularity, prestige, and property were lost. And worst of all, he lost his family. His wife was turned into a pillar of salt and his daughters, though saved from the fire, had Sodom in their hearts. They raped him and bore two sons from him.

Yes, Scripture testifies that some true believers will still be friends of the world and spiritual adulterers (cf. James 4:4). Just as some will be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and some will be called least in the kingdom (Matt 5:19)—missing God’s best.

What do worldly Christians look like—friends of the world? If Abraham is pictured as a friend of God in Genesis 18, as God shares secrets with him, Lot is pictured as a friend of the world here. It is important to ask ourselves this question so that we don’t have the same fate as Lot. In this text, we see eleven characteristics of worldly Christians—friends of this world.

Big Question: What characteristics of friends of the world can be discerned from Lot’s life?

Friends of the World Lack Intimacy with God

One thing that stands out in this narrative is that God never comes to Lot’s home. In Genesis 18, the angels and the Lord were on their way to Sodom until Abraham invited them into his home. The narrative doesn’t tell us about any hesitation on the part of the visitors. They just say, “Very well,” and enter Abraham’s home (v. 5). However, with Lot, God does not come with the angels. He stays with Abraham, as Abraham intercedes for Sodom. God never comes to Lot’s home.

In addition, when Lot petitions the angels to spend the night at his home, they first say, “No.” Lot had to “strongly” insist for them to enter his house. “Gordon Wenham translates it, ‘manhandled’ them! He did some major arm-twisting till they said yes.”¹

This is true of carnal believers in general; they lack intimacy with God. Certainly, God indwells every believer with his Holy Spirit (cf. 1 Cor 6:19); however, not every believer has intimacy with God. Abraham is called God’s friend; God enters his home and fellowships with him. With Lot, he does not.

As mentioned, Scripture also teaches that the Corinthian believers were worldly. In 1 Corinthians 3:1, Paul calls them carnal or worldly. Throughout the Corinthian books their worldliness is clearly displayed. In 1 Corinthians 1, they are separating into factions, as they idolize their teachers. In 1 Corinthians 5, a man is having sex with his father’s wife. In 1 Corinthians 6, they are suing one another. In 1 Corinthians 14, they are abusing spiritual gifts. In 2 Corinthians, they challenge Paul’s apostleship, even though he started the church. Consider what he says to them in 2 Corinthians 6:14, 15–17:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?... Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

He writes to Christians and calls them to separate from the world. Then he writes a promise from God, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters.” God is not promising salvation for being separate; he is promising intimacy. The Corinthians lacked intimacy with God because they yoked with the world, as did Lot.

Now, it wasn’t so much about Lot’s location. Daniel lived and worked in Babylon. Joseph lived and worked in Egypt. Lot’s problem was that Sodom was in his heart, as he lived a compromised Christian life. The world affected him, instead of him affecting the world, and because of his worldliness, he lacked intimacy with God.

James 4:4 says, “Don’t you know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?” If we are friends with the world, we will lack intimacy with God and, instead, invite his judgment.

Application Question: What is the difference between being in the world and not being of the world? How can we know if we are yoked with the world? How can we break this yoke so we can have greater intimacy with God?

Friends of the World Lack Generosity in Their Offerings to God

But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. (Genesis 19:3)

Another obvious difference between Lot’s interaction with the angels and Abraham’s is that Lot gave them only unleavened bread—essentially crackers. There is nothing wrong with this; however, there is a great difference between Lot’s generosity and Abraham’s. Abraham prepared three seahs of grain (or five gallons), a calf, milk, and yogurt for the Lord and the angels (cf. Gen 18:6–8). Abraham was very generous with what he offered to the Lord and Lot wasn’t.

Certainly, there may have been a difference in wealth; although, Lot was wealthy too. In Genesis 14, Abraham and Lot separated because the land could not hold both of their herds. Also in Genesis 19:1, we see that Lot rose to prominence in Sodom, as he was sitting at the gates. He probably was an elder in the land. Therefore, considering that they were both wealthy, the difference in hospitality stands out.

In considering the diversity of offerings, it is hard to not think of Cain and Abel. Genesis 4:3–4 says that Cain gave “some” of the fruits of the field, while Abel gave the “fat portions” from the “firstborn.” Abel’s offering was accepted while Cain’s was rejected. The first born was considered the best of the flock and the fat portions were considered the choice part of the meat. All the flavor and seasoning are there. We will see later in the Mosaic law, God requires the Israelites to give the fat portions to him. Leviticus 3:16 says, “All the fat is the Lord’s.” Essentially, Abel gave his best, while Lot only gave scraps.

As with Cain and Abel, Abraham’s and Lot’s offerings reflected their hearts. Abraham gave his best because he cherished God, and Lot only gave some because he didn’t. This is common with worldly believers. Because their heart is attached to their wealth, they are not generous in their offerings to the Lord. They are too worried about securing a higher living status or preparing for retirement. Their minds are consumed with this world, instead of the next, and this is seen in their generosity both to the Lord and others.

However, whenever we study God’s Scriptural requirements for offerings, it is clear that he always requires the best. With the sacrificial lambs, he required lambs without spot or blemish. They had to be the best lambs.

In fact, in Malachi 1, God becomes angry with Israel because they didn’t offer their best. Consider what he says,

“A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty. “It is you, O priests, who show contempt for my name. “But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for your name?’ “You place defiled food on my altar. “But you ask, ‘How have we defiled you?’ “By saying that the LORD's table is contemptible. When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?” says the LORD Almighty. “Now implore God to be gracious to us. With such offerings from your hands, will he accept you?”—says the LORD Almighty. “Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you,” says the LORD Almighty, “and I will accept no offering from your hands. (Malachi 1:6–10)

God rejects their offerings. They offered the blind and the crippled, and he essentially says, “Would you give that to your governor? Then I will not accept it either!” The reason the Israelites did not offer God their best was because they wanted to keep the best for themselves; however, God only accepts our best. No doubt, God rejects a lot of offerings in the church, as well. Instead of offering the best of our time, effort, and mind, we give him scraps. We give our best to work, family, friends, and entertainment and then offer God the last five minutes of the day, as we fall asleep. The Lord says, “I won’t receive that!” We offer him offerings that cost us nothing. We ask ourselves, “What will cost me the least so that I can give it to the Lord?”

Consider David’s heart in giving an offering to the Lord. He said, “I will not give the Lord what cost me nothing” (2 Sam 24:24, paraphrase).

What are you giving the Lord? Are you giving him your best? Or are you giving the blind and the crippled?

God wants our best. The difference in Abraham’s offering and Lot’s is the fact that Abraham gave his best, while Lot just gave a portion. This reflected the giver’s heart. Friends of God give him their best. Friends of the world offer him their scraps.

Application Question: In what ways is God challenging you to offer him more of your best? In what ways do you feel the tension of keeping back the best portions for yourself? How do we overcome our clinging hearts?

Friends of the World Have Compromised Morals, Especially When Pressured

Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” (Genesis 19:4–8)

Before it was time to go to bed, the men in the city, both young and old, came to Lot’s house and asked for the visitors. They wanted to have sexual relations with them. This shows the great depravity of these cities. Commonly, in cultures that are being corrupted, it is the youth that have loose morals and the older generations stand in awe of the youth. This is how it is in many nations when considering the acceptance of things like homosexuality and transgenderism. The youth say, “What’s wrong with it? What’s the difference between same-sex, opposite-sex, or pan-sex?” and the older generation shakes their heads in awe. However, in Sodom’s depraved culture, it was both the young and the old who were corrupted. In fact, they were so corrupt they saw nothing morally wrong with raping two visitors. They say this about Lot who tried to stop them, “This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge!” (v. 9). They essentially say, “Don’t judge us! Who are you to judge us? What makes your morals better than ours?” Have you ever heard that before?

Something that should come to mind as we consider this incident and the men’s reply is the question, “What is the standard?” The men are right, if there are no moral absolutes. How can Lot judge the gang rape as wrong? What makes his standard better or moral? If the philosophy of relativity is correct, no standard is better than another. However, the reason we know this incident is wrong is because God sets the standard, and the standard is his Word.

As we consider this scenario, Lot clearly has morals that these men don’t have. However, when they continued to pressure him, he did something which could be considered worse than their sin. He offered his two daughters to be gang raped by this crowd of men. There is a similar story in Judges 19 where a concubine was handed over to a crowd of men and not only was raped but killed. The same fate probably awaited Lot’s daughters.

Here we see the next characteristic of worldly Christians, they have compromised morals, especially when pressured. In some ways they are just like the world or even worse.

How did Lot become this way?

Paul said, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” (1 Cor 5:6). Lot probably started with just a little bit of sin—a little compromise. Maybe, it started with materialism. He was materialistic like the world. But then to gain more material, he lied about his taxes. And then to gain even more, he compromised his morals to do “business” in corrupt Sodom. He continued this snowball until he was leavened just like the world.

Yes, Christians can compromise to the point where they are just like the world. Remember James 4? These Christians were arguing and fighting with one another, even leading to murder. James said,

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. (James 4:1–4)

These Christians were so worldly, murder seemed justifiable. Similarly, David, a man after God’s own heart, allowed lust to stay around in his life. One day he lusted so much that he committed adultery. Then to cover his sin, he committed murder. Afterward, he lived a hypocritical life until confronted by a prophet—leading him to repent.

Yes, Satan’s desire is to steal, kill, and destroy. He uses temptation and sin to destroy believers and that happened with Lot. Lot’s fall began with little compromises, and now Lot was almost as bad as these men.

But let us notice this: before the pressure came into Lot’s life, he looked godly. He offered hospitality to the visitors and tried to protect them. He was outwardly moral. However, when the pressure came, he compromised and offered his daughters. Trials revealed what was really in his heart, as they do with all.

This is common for us. We want to be godly, but when taking a test we could potentially fail, we choose to cheat. When pressure comes, worldly believers give into the world. They like the concept of godliness, as long as it doesn’t cost them something, as long as it doesn’t hurt. Psalm 15:1–4 says this:

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts,

Those who dwell in the Lord’s presence (i.e. friends of God) keep their oaths “even when it hurts.” They keep their oaths even when the pressure is on, but worldly believers continually compromise under pressure. It would have been more righteous for Lot to offer himself to protect these men, instead of offering his daughters.

Are you willing to be holy and righteous even when it hurts, even when there is a cost? Worldly believers only want to be godly when it’s convenient—as long as there is no cost or pressure. When it gets lonely on the weekends, they give in and find satisfaction and joy in the same ways the world does. They want no cost in their lives—no cross (cf. Luke 24:26–27).

Application Question: What are common ways that we are tempted to compromise when under pressure? How can we stand when temptation comes?

Friends of the World Sacrifice Their Families for Cultural Status

Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” (Genesis 19:8)

We have just considered Lot’s tragic offer of his daughters to a gang of men and how friends of the world compromise their morals when pressured; however, more insight can be gained from this. His offer was actually in accordance with cultural expectations of that day. In the ancient eastern culture, there was a strong emphasis on hospitality, so much so, that “it was understood a guest was to be protected more than your own family.”² If Lot failed to do this, he would have lost face in the community—it would be considered shameful.

Sadly, this happens in Christian homes all the time, but in different ways. To protect themselves from the shame of society, Christians who become pregnant out of wedlock commonly sacrifice their unborn children at abortion clinics all around the world. They offer their children on the altar of shame. Others who are married offer them on the altar of comfort. They don’t want the discomfort children would bring to their lives so they sacrifice them.

Some parents, to appease family and culture, spend their life seeking a certain economic status by securing the right education, the right housing, and the right cars. Sadly, in order to do this, many neglect their children. They don’t see their kids. They expect the education system to raise them. By seeking the applause and affirmation of the world, they sacrifice their children.

Many Christian families, sometimes even those in ministry, sacrifice their children while pursuing success. Consequently, many young females give themselves physically to men seeking the affirmation and love lacked in their homes. Many young men struggle with great insecurity and anxiety because of a lack of parental affirmation. They find themselves on an endless pursuit of approval, which often leads them to the world. If the world will love and approve them, where their mothers and fathers did not, then they will follow the world. Many Christians do exactly what Lot did; they just do it in a different way.

As we will see, not only did Lot literally offer his daughters to this gang of men, but it is clear that he really sacrificed them long before. At the end of the story, his daughters rape him to have children. While Lot was seeking wealth and riches in Sodom, Sodom was being sown into his daughter’s hearts every day. Sodom was not only known for homosexuality, but incest and bestiality, just as its neighbors in Canaan (cf. Lev 18:24). These girls were neglected by their father and became worldly just like Sodom.

Friends of the world sacrifice their children for cultural status.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen Christians sacrifice their children for cultural status? How can we protect our families and our children from this common scenario?

Friends of the World Lack Spiritual Influence

“Get out of our way,” they replied. And they said, “This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them.” They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door. (Genesis 19:9)

Another thing we can learn from this narrative about worldly believers is that they lack spiritual influence. When Lot tries to get these men to stop, they replied, “‘Get out of our way…This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them.’”

It is implied by their statement that Lot either never or rarely challenged Sodomites over their sin. They said that he was “now” trying to play the judge. No doubt, Lot realized long ago that if he was bold for God in that culture, he would lose friends and his ability to prosper, so he remained quiet. He saw silence as a reasonable opportunity cost.

Second Peter 2:7–9 said this about Lot:

and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)—if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment, while continuing their punishment.

Peter called Lot righteous and said that Sodom’s sins tormented his righteous soul; however, it must be assumed that it stopped there. He was tormented but didn’t speak out against it.

In fact, as mentioned, he had so little spiritual influence, he barely affected his family. He lost his wife to worldliness and love for Sodom. He lost his sons-in-law who thought he was joking when he warned them about God’s judgment (cf. 19:14). Obviously, he had never warned them about God’s judgment, and therefore, they could not take him seriously. He also lost his daughters who eventually raped him.

In his many years of living in Sodom, Lot didn’t even save his family. Even his daughters were corrupted by the world. Lot had little to no spiritual influence.

This is true of worldly believers as well. Because their language, clothing, entertainment, goals, and morals, are no different from the world’s, nobody takes them seriously when it comes to faith. They don’t really spiritually affect their family and peers in a positive manner.

Christ said this in Matthew 5:13: ‘“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.”

The metaphor of salt is meant to demonstrate how Christians are to influence and preserve society from corruption. However, Christ said that if salt loses its saltiness, it is good for nothing. For those who are familiar with chemistry, we know that salt cannot lose its saltiness. Sodium Chloride (NaCl) cannot lose its essential properties. Then, what was Christ talking about? The way salt loses its saltiness is by mixing with something else. Often salt could be found on river banks, and if it was mixed with dirt or other particles, it would no longer be salty.

This is true for believers as well. When believers start to mix with the world, though they can never lose their essential properties as a child of God, they lose their effectiveness by compromise. Worldly believers have lost their saltiness. They may have some positive effects on people, but it is largely absent. Lot is to be praised for raising daughters that still had their virginity in that society. He obviously shepherded their actions but neglected their hearts. Because of that, he lost them.

Are you still salty? Are you still influencing others for Christ?

Application Question: How can Christians strike the balance of being in the world but not of the world?

Friends of the World Are Reluctant to Give up Sin

With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished.” When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!” But Lot said to them, “No, my lords, please! Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn't it? Then my life will be spared.” He said to him, “Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of. (Genesis 19:15–20)

After the men refused Lot’s offer of his daughters, they tried to break down the doors to reach the angels. The angels blinded the men, and yet, the men still tried to claw their way to the door—showing their desperation (v. 10–11). Even blindness would not stop them.

After this scenario, the angels had their evidence. Sodom was corrupt, and therefore, God was going to destroy it. They asked Lot if he had any others in the city with him (v. 12). This interesting narrative note demonstrates the fact that angels are not omniscient. They did not know if others were with him. Lot tried to convince his sons-in-law but they would not listen (v.14).

Next, the angels urged Lot to take his wife and two daughters out of the city or they would be punished with it (v.15). Then verse 16 says something peculiar, “When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them” (v. 16). It says that after they urged him to flee, Lot “hesitated.” The Hebrew term means to linger, delay, or wait.³

This doesn’t make any sense. If someone said the building I was located at was about to explode, I would run for dear life! This hesitation shows Lot’s reluctance to give up his sin. Now, it was not sin to live in Sodom. The sin was Sodom being in Lot’s heart—he loved the world and the things of the world (cf. 1 John 2:15).

In fact, after dragging him and his family out of the city, the angels urged Lot to flee to the mountains, but he petitions to stay in a small city named Zoar—a little town at the southern end of the Jordan River Valley.⁴ Zoar literally means “small.” Lot implies that traveling to the mountains would be too difficult for him or that living there would be too hard, so he asked to go to Zoar. However, it really seems that Lot is just unwilling to give up his sin—his love for the world. He wants to keep at least a little bit in his life. Derek Kidner said this about Lot, “Not even brimstone will make a pilgrim of him: he must have his little Sodom again if life is to be supportable.”⁵

Sadly, this is how many Christians are. They like aspects of the world, even though they grieve God’s heart. It is for that reason many never get rid of certain sins but instead allow them to linger in their lives. They are hesitant like Lot to fully give up the world—a sinful character trait, hobby, ambition, or relationship—and therefore, it stays in their lives.

Christ said this about sin in Matthew 5:29–30:

If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Essentially Christ says that if we are going to get rid of sin, we must have an absolute animosity for it. We must hate it so much that we are willing to murder it. This is the reason many cannot be set free from besetting sins—they don’t hate them enough.

Often the person struggling with pornography is not willing to get rid of the TV, the Internet, or any other doorway to that sin. The person in an ungodly relationship often is not willing to end that relationship in order to be holy. People often are not willing to be drastic to be free from sin.

This was Lot’s problem. That is why he hesitated and had to be dragged out of Sodom. And that is why he asked to go to Zoar. He was a man who loved the world and the things of the world. He did not hate his own compromise enough to be free of it. Friends of the world are reluctant to get rid of their sin and compromise. They want just a little Zoar in their life.

What is your Zoar? What are your little areas of compromise in your life?

Application Question: Why is it so hard to hate certain sins in such a way that we will do anything to get rid of them? Have you experienced certain sins or compromises lingering in your life simply because you didn’t hate them enough?

Friends of the World Are Materialistic

As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”… Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:17, 24–26)

Interpretation Question: Why did Lot’s wife look back at Sodom, even though the angels told her not to?

Next, we see the unfortunate death of Lot’s wife. The angels told Lot and his family to flee the city and to not look back. When they got to Zoar, the angels would then destroy the city. However, while on the way to Zoar, Lot’s wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. This sounds like a fairytale; however, Josephus, a Jewish historian who lived from 37–100 AD, said he saw the pillar of Lot’s wife. It was still there over 2,000 years later.⁶

Most likely Lot’s wife was a Sodomite, someone he met in Sodom. Why did she look back?

Christ used the story of Lot’s wife as a picture of the time right before the second coming in Luke 17:28–32. He said,

“It was the same in the days of Lot. People were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building. But the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all. “It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed. On that day no one who is on the roof of his house, with his goods inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything. Remember Lot's wife! Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.

During the time period that the Son of Man comes, nobody on the roof of his house should go back to get his goods. It will be a time of great judgment, as with Sodom. Christ says, “Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it.” Since he uses Lot’s wife as a reference in the context of a person returning to get goods in his house, the implication is that she looked back because of her possessions. They left their house, herds, and fields. Everything they owned was left behind, and therefore, Lot’s wife could not but look back. Her heart was in Sodom with all her things!

This is how many Christians are. They are consumed with things: houses, cars, iPhones, iPads, and clothes. They are materialistic.

Christ gives materialism as a descriptor of the world and how Christians should not live for these things. In Matthew 6:31–32, Christ says, “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.”

He says the pagans run after food, drink, and clothes. They are consumed with them, but Christians should not be. Sadly, a lot of Christians are just like the world—consumed with material. They are frantic every time a new product comes out, and they run around like the world does to obtain them.

Interpretation Question: What should the Christian’s relationship to the material things of this world be like?

At least two verses clearly address this. Christ said in Matthew 6:19–21:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Christ said believers should not store up the riches of this world because they tend to steal our hearts. He said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” When Christians store up the riches of this world, it becomes hard for them to focus on heavenly things. Like Lot and his wife, they often become more concerned with keeping or gaining wealth rather than the things of heaven. Lot and his wife had a difficult time leaving their wealth because wealth had their hearts.

Paul also teaches about the Christian attitude towards the material things of this world in 1 Corinthians 7:29–31. He says,

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

Paul said that those who buy something should treat it as if it was not theirs to keep. When I go to a hotel, I don’t buy new curtains or covers because I will only be there temporarily. Similarly, we should never forget the temporary nature of worldly things, as they are passing away. In addition, those who use the things of this world should not be engrossed in them. The things God graciously gives us should instead be used as tools to worship and glorify him.

However, worldly Christians are consumed with the things of this world. They run around seeking to gain them just like the world. They know nothing of, “Do not store up riches on this earth.” They have been raised in the world, and they have never gotten the spirit of materialism out of them. If you ask them how they practice the discipline of not storing up riches on this earth, they would have nothing to say because their practice is no different from the worlds’.

The disciples sold all they had. Much of the early church did the same. Scripture does not command us to practice this discipline the same way, but we all must at least pray about it and ask God how we should obey his command. Lot and his wife knew nothing about this. They were consumed with their things, which hindered their obedience to God.

Application Question: How big of a problem is materialism for you? How do you practice the discipline of not storing up riches?

Friends of the World Lack Fear of God

With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished.” When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”… Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:15–17, 24–26)

The previous point leads us to the next. Not only were Lot and his wife materialistic, but they also clearly lacked a fear of the Lord. The angels told Lot’s family to not look back nor to stop anywhere in the plain, and if they did, they would be swept away (v. 17). However, Lot’s wife still looked back and, consequently, was turned into a pillar of salt.

Why did she not heed the angel’s warning? Obviously, she didn’t take God and his discipline seriously. She thought, “God won’t discipline me for looking back” or “A little look won’t hurt” or “God is a forgiving God.” Sadly, this is all too common in the church. We know about a God of love, but we know very little about a God of discipline.

Application Question: Why is the fear of the Lord so uncommon among Christians today?

Maybe it’s uncommon because of the watered down preaching often seen in churches. When considering the gospel, it is often taught as a means of self-fulfillment and higher self-esteem. It is the pathway to getting rid of problems and the door to health and wealth. But the reality of God’s wrath and being delivered from it is often minimized or not mentioned at all.

Sadly, this is the current state of the church. Christ preached more on hell than heaven; however, the church today doesn’t want to mention hell or God’s wrath for fear of offending others. However, the gospel is offensive! It is foolishness to those who are perishing (1 Cor 1:18)! In addition, Scripture says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov 9:10). We can’t live wise lives unless we fear God.

Often, carnal Christians view God as their big Buddy in the sky. They often declare that he doesn’t mind their sin. He knows that they are just going through “a phase,” and everything is OK. Or, they know God will forgive their sins, so they will just ask forgiveness when they’re done sinning. They know nothing of the God who is a consuming fire (Heb 12:29). To them, the God who destroyed the world with water is a fairy tale. The God who destroyed Sodom is a God of the past, and the God who exiled Israel is not the God of the New Testament. Worldly believers don’t fear or take God seriously.

Lot’s wife turned back because she didn’t fear God, and no doubt, part of the reason Lot hesitated was his lack of fear. The angels said, “God is going to destroy the city! Run!” Then Lot stopped to think, “Is God really going to destroy the city? Would he really do such a thing?” He had to be dragged out of the city by the angels. Often worldly Christians must be dragged to church, dragged to read their Bible’s, dragged out of darkness. Why? It’s because they don’t fear God. The fear of God is the beginning of living a wise life.

Application Question: What are major hindrances to fearing God? How do we grow in the fear of the Lord? Do you you fear God? Why or why not?

Friends of the World Receive God’s Discipline

But Lot said to them, “No, my lords, please! Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn't it? Then my life will be spared.” He said to him, “Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of. But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it.” (That is why the town was called Zoar.) By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. (Genesis 19:18–23)

Interesting enough, when Lot pleads with the angels to allow him to go Zoar, the angels grant his request. Certainly, this is pretty amazing. Yes, Zoar was small, but it was sinful just like the rest of Sodom and Gomorrah.

This was a tremendous grace to Zoar, as it would give the people longer to repent. However, this was not good for Lot and his daughters. This would only enforce Lot’s worldliness and put them around more corrupt people. In fact, we later see that Lot eventually moved away from Zoar to the caves in the mountains because of fear. Genesis 19:30 says, “Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave.”

Why was Lot afraid to stay in the city that he requested to live in? Obviously, Zoar was full of wicked people—just like Sodom—and we already know how Sodomites treated visitors. No wonder, they, eventually, fled to the mountains.

Interpretation Question: Why did God allow Lot to go Zoar, when he had already condemned the city because of its sin?

Allowing them to go to Zoar was probably a form of discipline. Sometimes God spanks us when we sin, and sometimes he simply says, “Go ahead. You don’t want to obey. Go ahead and reap the consequences of your sin.” The story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 is a good example of this. The son approached the father and asked for his inheritance, essentially saying, “I want you dead!” The father gave the son the inheritance and let him go until he learned his lesson and returned home.

Many times God does that with us. He doesn’t fight us. He says, “Go ahead and enjoy your sin and compromise, until you have learned your lesson.” Like the Prodigal Son, worldly believers often must get to the point of brokenness—where they come to their senses—and then return to the Father’s house.

We see something of this in Romans 1:21–28, where God’s judgment on pagans for not acknowledging him is described. Consider God’s judgment,

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. (Romans 1:24)

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. (Romans 1:26)

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. (Romans 1:28)

What was God’s judgment on the pagan world? He gave them over to the sexual impurity, homosexuality, and depravity that was already in their hearts. Many times God’s judgment is displayed by allowing a nation, a community, or a person to experience their evil desires and its consequences, with the hope that they eventually repent.

Sadly, this not only happens to the world but to Christians. They want to enjoy the sexual immorality of the world, and therefore, God hands them over. They experience conflict, emotional scars, disease, or worse. This happens in the church far too often.

One of the characteristics of worldly Christians is experiencing God’s discipline. Hebrews 12:5–6 says,

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”

It seems Lot experienced God’s discipline when he was allowed to go to Zoar, which he soon left out of fear.

Application Question: Do you think that Lot being allowed to go to Zoar was a form of God’s discipline? In what ways have you experienced God’s discipline, and how did you respond to it?

Friends of the World Pass Compromise to Their Children

Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father.” That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father. The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today. (Genesis 19:30–38)

The story is not over; it only gets worse. Lot and his daughters move away from Zoar and settle in a cave in the mountains. Caves were often places where people buried the dead. Lot would rather live in a tomb than stay in Zoar. As mentioned earlier, his daughters, who desired to have children, got their father drunk and raped him. They bore two sons: The older son’s name was Moab, which means “from father” and Ben-ammi, which means “son of kinsman.”⁷ The fact that the daughters named their children after their incest means they weren’t ashamed of it. It was actually something they boasted about! When they met people and introduced their children, they essentially boasted in how their children were conceived.

Interestingly, early records tell us incest was forbidden in this ancient eastern culture, which shows how depraved the daughter’s actions were. Kent Hughes gives us some insight into this:

Incest was considered wrong in Near-Eastern culture, as Harry Hoffner has shown in his festschrift for Cyrus Gordon, Orient and Occident. And Hebrew culture explicitly forbade a man’s having relations with his daughters or daughters-in-law (Leviticus 20:12; Ezekiel 22:10, 11). The penalty for such sin was death (Leviticus 20:11–13). Mesopotamian culture similarly forbade such incest in the Code of Hammurabi (Paragraphs 154–158). Likewise Hittite laws forbade such sins, punishing them either by death or banishment and, later, by paying a fine and sending an animal out of the town bearing the guilt on the analogy of Israel’s scapegoat.⁸

Though incest had become a common practice in Sodom and Gomorrah and also in Canaan, it was against the common laws of that time. Lot’s daughters’ deceptive acts were clearly wrong, and their boast in it made it even worse.

Lot’s compromise was not only passed onto his children but his children’s children. The two male children became the fathers of the Moabites and the Ammonites—future enemies of Israel. It was the Moabite king that tried to persuade the false prophet Baalam to curse Israel while in the wilderness (Num 22–24). Then, when Baalam wouldn’t curse them, the king sent Moabite women to tempt the Israelite men with sexual immorality and Baal worship (Num 25).

In the book of Judges, the Ammonites are seen fighting against Israel while they were in Canaan (Judges 11). They were bitter rivals. The sins of Lot continued in his children, even to the point that they became enemies of God and his people.

This happens with many parents who profess Christ but don’t practice their faith at home or in their daily lives. Often they raise up children who eventually become antagonistic towards God. They say, “If that is Christianity, I want nothing to do with it!” Like the Ammonites and Moabites, they become enemies of God all together.

Exodus 20:5–6 describes the process of the fathers’ sins following the children:

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Does this mean the children of the disobedient will be punished to the third and fourth generation? No, it means that the parents’ sins and the consequences of them will show up until the third or fourth generation (cf. Deut 24:16). Sin is hard to root out of a family line. It is common to find alcoholism, domestic abuse, children out of wedlock, and even witchcraft, pass from generation to generation. Lot’s sins affected his children’s children, and this commonly happens in the homes of worldly Christians as well.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced how sin and its consequences pass from generation to generation? In what ways have you seen or experienced how righteousness and its blessings pass from generation to generation?

Friends of the World Still Receive God’s Grace and Mercy

Observation Question: In what ways do we see God’s grace and mercy on Lot in this narrative?

As we finish this text, we also cannot but notice how God’s grace and mercy were still on Lot’s life. God’s favor is like a thread running throughout the entire narrative. Where do we see this?

1. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s eternal salvation.

Again, Peter calls Lot a righteous man—meaning that he was saved (cf. 2 Pet 2:7). He was not righteous because of anything righteous he did, but because of the righteousness given to him through faith in God. Just like Abraham, he was justified by faith (cf. Gen 15:6). This in itself is grace—unmerited favor. God saves undeserving sinners. Thank you, Lord.

2. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s deliverance from judgment.

Abraham was incorrect in his assessment that God would not allow the righteous to suffer with the wicked (cf. Gen 18:23–25). The righteous suffer with the wicked all the time. The angels even told Lot that if he didn’t leave Sodom he would be swept away with the wicked (19:15). It was God’s grace and mercy that Lot was saved.

In fact, many times God, by his grace, protects us from the consequences of our sins and others, even though we deserve them. We saw this in Genesis 12, as Abraham rebelled in Egypt. He lied about his wife, and she was taken into Pharaoh’s harem. While there, God protected her and brought a disease upon Pharaoh’s household until she was released. Yes, even in rebellion, the Lord is still the shepherd of lost sheep; he cares for them and graciously provides for them. Many times God protects us from the full consequences of sin, as well.

3. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s uncle Abraham and his prayers.

In addition, one of the great mercies in Lot’s life was his uncle Abraham. I have no idea why Lot did not return to his uncle’s house after losing everything in Sodom. When the angels told Lot to go to the mountains, they were probably referring to Abraham’s house. Sodom was the land of the plain and Abraham lived in the mountains (cf. Gen 19:27). Maybe, Lot was too ashamed to return to Abraham. Maybe, he was angry at Abraham because of the constant conviction coming from his righteous life.

Whatever the reason, we can be clear about this: Lot was saved from judgment because of righteous Abraham’s prayer. Genesis 19:29 says, “So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.” When Abraham prayed to God about delivering the righteous, God did. He saved Lot.

This is true of many worldly Christians; they are recipients of grace stemming from the prayers of the church, believing parents, or friends. As the saints pray for them, though God disciplines, in that discipline God remembers mercy (cf. Hab 3:2). He gives mercy to them because of the saints’ prayers, and many times he eventually leads them back to Christ. Lot and his daughters received God’s mercy in response to Abraham’s prayers.

Let us not give up on those who are far away from God. God hears the prayers of his saints. The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective (James 5:16).

4. Grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s prayer for Zoar and its deliverance.

But, I think we see another form of grace and mercy in Lot’s prayer. When Lot prays to go down to Zoar, God spares the city, even though they were wicked. Lot’s prayers, though probably few, were effective. In the same way, by God’s grace, God still uses worldly Christians to save and bless some. Those who are truly born again will always produce some fruit (cf. James 2:17, John 15:8), even though they miss God’s best.

Because they are God’s children, they are still recipients of God’s grace and mercy. It is his love, goodness, and patience that are meant to draw them to repentance (cf. Rom 2:4). Like the Prodigal Son’s father, God waits, and waits for worldly believers to return so he can kiss them, hug them, and put his robe on them (cf. Luke 15:20–23). He still wants to give them his best. Thank you, Lord, for your amazing grace and mercy.

Application Question: In what ways have you experienced God’s grace and mercy, even while in rebellion? How can we show God’s love to those not faithfully walking with God or in total rebellion?

Conclusion

What are characteristics of worldly believers—friends of the world?

Friends of the World Lack Intimacy with God
Friends of the World Lack Generosity in Their Offerings to God
Friends of the World Have Compromised Morals, especially when Pressured
Friends of the World Sacrifice Their Families for Cultural Status
Friends of the World Lack Spiritual Influence
Friends of the World Are Reluctant to Give up Sin
Friends of the World Are Materialistic
Friends of the World Lack Fear of God
Friends of the World Receive God’s Discipline
Friends of the World Pass Compromise to Their Children
Friends of the World Still Receive God’s Grace and Mercy

The primary Scriptures used are New International Version (1984) unless otherwise noted. Other versions include English Standard Version, New Living Translation, New American Standard Bible, and King James Version.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 270). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

² Guzik, David (2012-12-08). Genesis (Kindle Locations 3188–3190). Enduring Word Media. Kindle Edition.

³ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 2062–2063). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁴ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 2109–2110). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁵ Kidner, D. (1967). Genesis: An Introduction and Commentary (Vol. 1, pp. 145–146). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

⁶ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 275). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁷ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 2313–2314). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁸ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 281). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Related Topics: Christian Life

9. Becoming a Friend of God (Genesis 18)

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The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.” “Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.” So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of fine flour and knead it and bake some bread.” Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree. “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said. Then the LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.” Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.” When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him… (Genesis 18)

What are characteristics of God’s friends? How can we grow in intimacy with our Lord?

In this text, God miraculously shows up at Abraham’s home in the form of a man, with two other men who were angels. Abraham prepares a feast for them, and God reaffirms his covenant with Abraham. He tells him that within a year’s time, Sarah would birth a child. When the three visitors are about to leave, God decides to share with Abraham his plan to visit Sodom and Gomorrah, confirm their sins, and then destroy the land. Then we see Abraham intercede for Sodom and Gomorrah and move God’s heart.

Several times in Scripture Abraham is called God’s friend. We see this in James 2:23, 2 Chronicles 20:7, and Isaiah 41:8. No doubt, this title refers to Abraham’s whole life, but it seems to have particular reference to this chapter. Listen to what God says about Abraham in Genesis 18:17–19:

Then the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”

When verse 19 says, “I have chosen him,” it can literally be translated, “For I know him,” as in the KJV. God was intimate with Abraham and because of this, he shared his plans for Sodom and Gomorrah. This is true of our friendships as well. We share intimate secrets with those we know intimately.

In John 15, Christ called the disciples, and therefore us, friends as well. He said,

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:13–15)

Christ laid his life down for us and if we are people who obey him, then we are his friends. And because we are his friends, he shares his secrets with us through the Word. We are friends of God; however, not all friends have the same intimacy and closeness with one another. I am more intimate with my wife than with anybody else. And though I have many friends, she is my closest friend.

I think this is true with God. It is not that God didn’t have many friends in Scripture, he did. But there were some he was closer with. Abraham was one of them. In fact, one of the greatest forms of intimacy is going to somebody’s home. God visits Abraham’s home in physical form and shares intimate secrets about Sodom, that even the Sodomites and Lot, who lived there, were unaware of. God had a deep friendship with Abraham, which afforded him many great privileges. Psalm 25:14 says, “The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.”

How can we have a deeper friendship with God? How can we grow in intimacy with him, so that he reveals himself in such a way that we can more effectively worship him and serve others? That was a benefit of Abraham’s intimacy.

Some might declare, “There is nothing that we can do to be more intimate with God!” However, this would be illogical even from a practical stand point. Can one have friends without first showing himself friendly (Prov 18:24, KJV)? James even declared, “Draw near God and he will draw near you” (James 4:8). There is a greater intimacy and greater rewards from this intimacy that can be gained.

In this text, we will see characteristics of Abraham’s friendship with God. We will study this in the hope that we can similarly grow in intimacy with God.

Big Question: What are characteristics of friends of God as seen in Abraham’s interaction with God in Genesis 18? How can we grow in intimacy with God?

Friends of God Continually Worship Him

In this narrative, we see Abraham sitting at the entrance to his tent, in the heat of the day, when the Lord appears to him. It seems like these three men appear out of nowhere. Abraham looks up, sees them, hurries to meet them, and then bows before them.

An important part of ancient Middle Eastern culture was being hospitable to foreigners. There were very few inns. Traveling long distances could be dangerous, and therefore people relied on hospitability. In fact, hospitality is still a significant aspect of Eastern culture.

There is some controversy over when Abraham became aware these three men were special, and that one of them was God. It certainly would have been clear when these strangers asked Abraham where Sarah was (v. 9). This was the name God gave Sarai not too long ago. If Abraham did not know then, certainly, it was clear when these men prophesied about her having a baby in old age (v. 10).

However, Abraham probably knew immediately that these visitors were from the Lord. God had appeared to Abraham before, and therefore, he had a greater familiarity with God’s presence and how he appeared. Also, we cannot but notice how respectful he was to these three men. The text says he bowed low to the ground. The word used for bow is typically translated “worship” when God is the object.¹ We see this in Genesis 24:26 when Abraham’s servant worshiped the Lord. It says, “Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD.”

It seems clear that Abraham knows these visitors are special and that one of them is God. In fact, he calls one of them “my lord” in verse 3. One of the three was clearly prominent, as he was God incarnate. To further support this, Abraham said to him, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by” (v. 3). The implication is that Abraham had a previous relationship with the prominent one; otherwise the comment wouldn’t make sense. He had just met these gentlemen. It seems like a fair conclusion that Abraham knew the man was God with two angelic guests.

Worship is a natural response for those who know God intimately. Worship comes from the fact that one recognizes how “worthy” an object or person is. Abraham had known God for over twenty years; he knew God’s beauty and his characteristics. Abraham, therefore, bowed in worship to the Lord and reverence towards the two angels.

When the Lord gave Isaiah a revelation of God in Isaiah 6:3, he saw the angels crying, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.” Angels cannot but continually worship God, as they consider his characteristics.

Worship is not only a characteristic of a friend of God, but it is also a way we grow in intimacy with him. How can we grow in worship?

Application Question: How can we grow in worship towards the Lord?

1. We grow in worship as we know God’s characteristics more and therefore his worthiness.

The more we know God, the more we will worship. As we know his characteristics—his love, sovereignty, wrath, goodness, and holiness—the more we will want to worship him. Theologians often call God’s characteristics, his perfections. His love, wisdom, wrath, and goodness are absolutely perfect and worthy of praise.

How do we come to know his characteristics more? We get to know God’s characteristics more by studying his Word and creation, through fellowship with the body of Christ, and by continually being intimate with him. Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”

As the readers considered the truths about God and his work in the previous eleven chapters of Romans, they should be drawn to worship God—drawn to offer him their bodies as living sacrifices. This is true for us as well. The more we know God, the more we will worship.

If we are not continually worshiping God, maybe we don’t really know him as we should.

2. We grow in worship by knowing our unworthiness before God.

We get a picture of this in the extreme respect Abraham gives to God. He not only bows, but the text says that he bowed low to the ground. This means that Abraham recognized that God and the visitors were greater than him. Whenever people see God in Scripture, they always humble themselves, as they recognize the depths of their sin. Isaiah cried out, “‘Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty’” (Isa 6:5). Similarly, when Peter became aware of Jesus’ Lordship, he cried, “Away from me Lord, I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8).

One of the reasons many of us don’t worship God, and therefore grow in intimacy with him, is because we don’t know the depths of our sin. A diamond’s beauty is best displayed against a black cloth. We cannot truly worship God unless we know how great our sin is. And yet, the paradox is that we can’t truly know our sin unless we see God. In comparison to this great light, our sin appears extremely dark.

Are you recognizing your sin and that of others so that you can worship God more? Friends of God know both their sin and God’s beauty, and therefore, they worship.

3. We grow in worship as we recognize God’s hand in everything.

In this narrative, Abraham recognizes God in human form and, therefore, bows down to worship. Many times our problem is that we simply don’t recognize God. Jesus talked to his disciples about how God provides clothing for the lilies of the field and food for the birds of the air (Matt 6). He saw God’s work and provision everywhere. Colossians 1:17 says that Christ holds all things together. Ephesians 1:11 says that he works all things according to the purpose of his will. Romans 8:28 says that God works all things to the good of those who love the Lord.

Our God is involved in everything. He is not a watchmaker who simply allows the earth to function on its own. His hand is everywhere, sustaining and guiding all things, and unless we recognize this, we will not continually worship. As with Christ’s resurrection and appearance to the disciples, it is very easy for us to receive ministry from the Lord and not recognize him (cf. Luke 24:15–16). It’s easy to forget that every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17). It’s also easy to forget that when disaster comes to a city the Lord caused it (Amos 3:6). Some only recognize God in the good and therefore don’t worship in the bad. However, Job cried, “The Lord gives and he takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). He lived in continual worship because he recognized God’s sovereignty both in the good and the bad.

Do you see God’s hand in everything? If you don’t, then you will not have sustained worship and, therefore, won’t grow in intimacy with him.

Application Question: How is God calling you to worship him more each day so you can grow in intimacy with him?

Friends of God Prioritize Time with Him

He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.” “Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.” (Genesis 18:3–5)

Next, Abraham petitions the Lord to not pass by, but to instead stay a little while at his house. He doesn’t act asleep or busy when the Lord approaches; he stops everything and begins to petition him. He asks for them to stay in order to have a meal, wash up, and rest before continuing their travels.

Here we see the priority of God’s friends: they prioritize time with him. This is no different than any genuine friendship. Genuine friends continually spend time with one another because they enjoy each other. Abraham said, “If I have found favor in your eyes” please stay for a little while at my house.

Jesus said this in John 15:4–6:

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

The word “remain” can also be translated “abide.” Christ said, “Abide, make your home in me, and I will make my home in you.” Friends of God are intimate with the Lord. They make their home in God, and God makes his home in them. In fact, Christ described an unbeliever as one not remaining in him. He described him as a withered branch, eventually thrown into a fire. The person that doesn’t abide in the Lord is not really saved.

This may seem harsh, but this is exactly how Christ described false disciples in Matthew 7:21–23. They called him “Lord, Lord,” but Christ responded, “I never knew you.” They never had a relationship with him. Yes, they were doing ministry, but they were not in an abiding relationship with God.

Now, certainly, nobody is saved by spending time with God. They are saved by faith in the Son of God, who paid the penalty for their sins. However, the one who is truly saved will spend time with God. He will know God, and God will know him.

Are you spending time of God? This is proof of whether you really know him or not.

Application Question: How can we prioritize time with God?

1. To prioritize time with God, we need to put God first.

Again, Abraham stops whatever he was doing—he interrupts his plans to meet with God. We must do the same. He must be first. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of heaven and his righteousness.” Sometimes the best way to put something first is by doing it first in the day. That way nothing else can come before it. We must prioritize God by putting him first.

2. To prioritize time with God, we need to plan.

It has been said that if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. This is a problem for many Christians. They really don’t have a plan for their spiritual life. They say, “I may read my Bible in the morning; I may not. I might do it later in the day.” They really don’t have a plan for their time with God. If I did this with my marriage, my marriage would die. My wife and I have to plan dates. Every Tuesday night is pretty much nonnegotiable. We have a date night. If for some reason we miss it, we reschedule for the same week. We make plans. We try to spend at least the last hour of every day together talking and praying. We learned early on in marriage that we needed to set dates daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, otherwise our intimacy will wane.

It’s the same with the Lord. It’s good to make short and long term plans to grow in intimacy with him. For example, “To cultivate my relationship with God, I will corporately worship him in small group and in church worship on Sunday and Wednesday. Every day, I will start and end my day with thirty minutes or more of time in the Word and prayer. Tuesday, I will fast half the day to give myself to extra prayer. In the summer, I will attend a mission trip to experience and serve God.”

We must plan to develop intimacy with God. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit.” James 4:8 says, “Draw near God and he will draw near you.”

What is your plan to draw near God?

3. To prioritize time with God, we must give less time to something else.

Ephesians 5:15–16 says: “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

“Making the most of every opportunity” can also be translated “redeeming the time” or “buying up the time.” When you purchase something, there is always a cost. To make the most of your time by spending it with God, you will have to let something else go. You might need to spend less time on social media, a hobby, work, or sleep to spend more time with God.

In business, we call this an opportunity cost. To take advantage of the opportunity to be with God, you will by necessity have to give something up. This is the opportunity cost. David said, “I will not offer the Lord something that cost me nothing” (2 Sam 24:24, paraphrase). What are you giving up to spend time with God?

Application Question: In what ways is God calling you to prioritize time with him? What is your spiritual plan? What are some opportunity costs of spending time with God? What are some of the benefits?

Friends of God Are Zealous in Serving Him

Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground…So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of fine flour and knead it and bake some bread.” Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. (Genesis 18:2, 6–8)

After the three men agreed to stay, Abraham hurried to make preparations to serve them. One of the things that cannot but stand out is Abraham’s zeal. In verse 2, he hurried from the tent to greet the three men. In verse 6, he hurried to his wife and said, “Quick, get three seahs of fine flour and knead it and bake some bread.” He then ran to select a calf. Abraham was zealous in serving the Lord.

This is common of God’s friends. Typically, they are noted for their zeal. Paul is probably the greatest Christian that ever lived. He wrote almost half of the New Testament, traveled on many great missionary journeys to reach Gentiles, and suffered a great deal for Christ. His life was noted for its great zeal. Consider these verses written by the apostle Paul:

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (Romans 12:11 )

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:58 )

He said, “Never be lacking in zeal” and “Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord.” This is what we saw with Abraham who hurried to meet the Lord and hurried to serve him.

Are you still zealous for God? Are you still zealous to see his kingdom come and people saved? Or have you lost your zeal?

Application Question: How can we grow in zeal, as we serve the Lord?

1. We grow in zeal by growing in love for God and others.

Paul said this about his ministry, “For Christ's love compels us” (2 Cor 5:14). He was compelled by the love of Christ—meaning his love for Christ and Christ’s love for him. These compelled him to work hard in serving God and others. Love made him zealous. One of the reasons we lack zeal in serving God and others is because we lack love.

Love is a supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. It is one of his many fruits, as seen in Galatians 5:22. The way we bear the fruit of the Spirit is by walking in the Spirit (Gal 5:16). As we live in prayer, the Word, fellowship, and service, the fruit of love will naturally grow in us, and we will find apathy slowly, if not quickly, drifting away, as we walk in submission to the Spirit.

2. We grow in zeal by being around others who are zealous to serve God.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

The more we are around others with zeal for God, the more our zeal will grow. Their zeal will challenge our apathy. However, when we are constantly around spiritually apathetic people, our zeal will diminish as well. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Application Question: When were you most zealous in your service of the Lord? What led to the growth of your zeal? What led to times of apathy in your spiritual life?

Friends of God Are Generous in Offerings to Him

Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.” Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.” So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs of fine flour and knead it and bake some bread.” Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree. (Genesis 18:5–8)

As we consider Abraham’s serving, we notice that he initially only offered a little snack. When it says “something to eat,” it literally can be translated to have “a morsel of bread” (Gen 18:5, ESV); however, he immediately leaves and prepares a large feast! His wife prepared three seahs of flour into bread, which is roughly five gallons.² Maybe Abraham was going to feed his whole camp, including his servants, or he was planning to send them off well supplied. He prepared a tender calf, with milk and curds (yoghurt). He was generous in his offering to the Lord.

I think this is also a common characteristic of God’s friends. They are extremely generous. We have seen this with Abraham before. When he met the high priest, Melchizedek, he gave the Lord a tenth of all he owned (Gen 14:20). Abraham was extremely generous with his offerings to the Lord.

This is true of most good friends. They are generous with their time, thoughts, emotions, and money. Why are they this way? It’s because they are friends. Good friends are generous with one another, and it’s the same with God’s friends.

I would also add that generosity is necessary to grow in intimacy with God. Consider the conclusion to the Parable of the Unjust Servant in Luke 16:1–8. In the story, a master told his servant that he would soon be fired. When the servant considered this, he went to those who owed his master a debt and cut the price. To the one who owed 800 gallons of oil, he had him pay only 400. To the one who owed 1,000 bushels of wheat, he had him pay only 800. He did this so that when he was fired, these people would welcome him into their homes because of his generosity. Certainly, there are some complications with this parable, but listen to Christ’s application of it. He says,

I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? (Luke 16:9–11)

He tells us to use our money to make friends in heaven. We do this by supporting missions and the work of the gospel, so that we, similarly, will be welcomed by those affected into eternal dwellings. However, Christ amplifies this by saying, “‘Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?’”

What does Christ mean by this, especially the last question, “So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?” (v. 11). He seems to mean this: If we are unfaithful with our money, then God cannot give us more blessings. He cannot give us true riches. However, if we are faithful with our money, he can give us true riches.

What are true riches? This, no doubt, refers to many divine blessings, but none more important than himself. If we are faithful with our money, he will give us more of himself. Those who are very intimate with God are very generous with their money. Instead of being a reservoir, they are a channel. God gives to them, and they give it right back to God by using it for ministry. And because of this, God continually gives them more.

We see this promise throughout Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 9:8, Paul says this about the cheerful giver: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” God promises that through his grace the cheerful giver will never lack (having all that you need), and also that he will abound in every good work. The greatest work is knowing God. Generosity leads to a deeper relationship with our generous God.

Sadly, one of the common hindrances to growing in generosity is a misunderstanding of the tithe. In the New Testament, we are not under the tithe (cf. Rom 6:15). However, because many people think we are, their thought process is, “As long as I have given my ten percent, I am alright with God.” Giving a tithe is great, but really that is just a starting point for our giving. Second Corinthians 8:7 says, “But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.”

We are called to excel in giving in the same way that we seek to excel in faith, speech, knowledge, earnestness, and love. We should constantly be praying about and setting goals to give more. And those who practice such giving will find great intimacy with God—all grace will abound towards them as God gives them true riches.

Are you excelling in giving? It is clear that Abraham was. He asked if they wanted a morsel of bread and then gave them a feast. No doubt, as God watched Abraham, he said, “Look at my son! Look at my son! He is just like me!” John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son…” Abraham was generous just like God is, and this brought great intimacy with God.

Application Question: What is your view on the necessity of the tithe in the New Covenant? How can we grow in the practice of grace giving? How have you experienced more of God because of your giving?

Friends of God Inspire Faith in Others

“Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said. Then the LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.” Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.” (Genesis 18:9–15)

In the next part of the narrative, the visitors ask about Abraham’s wife; the LORD, then, tells Abraham that she will have a child around the same time next year. Sarah is at the entrance of the tent behind Abraham and she hears this conversation. She laughs in her heart and thinks, “After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?” (v. 12). The Hebrew term for “worn out” was used of shabby clothes.³ She essentially says, “My body is like shabby clothes that have been destroyed by the wilderness. How can I have a child?” The LORD responds to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh?... Is anything too hard for the LORD?”

Sarah denied laughing and God rebuked her, “Yes, you did laugh.” The implication from Sarah’s unbelief is that Abraham, at this point, has failed to convince her of God’s promise.⁴ In Genesis 17, God promises Abraham that the seed would come through Sarah; however, Sarah did not yet believe. Clearly, Abraham’s original sharing of the promise with Sarah, Abraham’s current conversation with the Lord, and the Lord’s rebuke was all part of helping her grow in faith. From what we know, God had never appeared to Sarah before, but because she was in relationship with Abraham, God’s friend, her faith was challenged.

This is important to notice because Scripture says part of the reason God gave Abraham and Sarah a child in their old age is because of Sarah’s faith. Hebrews 11:11 says, “And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise” (NIV 2011). Sarah is placed in the “Heroes of Faith” chapter. It was because she considered God faithful that God enabled her to bear a child.

Yes, God promised to give her a child, but she also needed to believe the promise to receive it. And it was Abraham’s relationship with God that helped her believe.

This is certainly important for husbands as spiritual leaders of their homes; they are called to wash their wives with the Word, so they can become pure and blameless brides (Eph 5:25–27). With that said, this is necessary for Christians in general. Our relationship with the Lord should inspire and challenge others. Sometimes, we might not even be able to use words, for whatever reason, but hopefully our relationship and walk with God will provoke others to faith (cf. 1 Pet 3:1–6).

Matthew 5:16 says, “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Our lifestyle and friendship with God should always inspire faith in others.

Application Question: How can we more affectively inspire faith in others?

1. We inspire faith in others by living godly lives before them.

Just the fact that Abraham faithfully worshiped and served God opened the door for God to challenge his wife. This is true for us as well. First Peter 2:12 says, “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” By living godly lives before others, it will draw them to Christ and possibly even salvation.

Are you living a godly life before others?

2. We inspire faith in others by sharing God’s Word with them.

Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God” (KJV). The Word of God is the root of faith and, therefore, if we are going to inspire faith in others, we must use the Word of God. We must preach, teach, and live it.

3. We inspire faith in others by challenging them when they are in sin.

Sarah didn’t believe, and, therefore, God rebuked her. What is the big deal? She hadn’t even verbalized it; however, her heart was very important. Her belief in the promise would affect the coming of the Seed and, therefore, generations after her. It was through faith that she gave birth to Isaac (cf. Heb 11:11).

Yes, sometimes sin doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but when somebody is living in sin, it affects everybody around them, even when unaware of it. Paul said, “a little leaven, leavens the whole lump” (1 Cor 5:6). Sin spreads—even affecting future generations. If God did not challenge Abraham’s wife, maybe she would have never believed and, therefore, never received the promise.

Abraham’s relationship with God inspired Sarah’s faith, and ultimately affected eternity. And it’s the same for us. When we inspire faith in others, it will affect not only them, but people around them, and even people in the future. Friends of God inspire the faith of others.

Application Question: Whose faith had the greatest impact on your Christian life? Who do you feel God is calling you to inspire in their spiritual life?

Friends of God Are Growing in the Knowledge of God’s Will

When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.” Then the LORD said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.” The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. (Genesis 18:16–22)

As the three men were about to leave for Sodom, the LORD said to himself, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him”. God decided to share with Abraham his plan to confirm how wicked Sodom really was and then destroy it. God had heard the “outcry” caused by their great sins. Kent Hughes said this about the word “outcry”:

The Hebrew word for “outcry” is used in Scripture to describe the cries of the oppressed and brutalized. It is used for the cry of the oppressed widow or orphan (cf. Exod 22:22, 23), the cry of the oppressed servant (cf. Deut 24:15), and the cries of the Israelites in Egypt (cf. Exod 2:23; 3:7, 9).⁵

Not only was Sodom practicing homosexuality but its people also neglected and oppressed the poor and the needy. Ezekiel says, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy” (16:49). We certainly see this in how they treated the two visiting angels in Genesis 19. No doubt, the poor and needy were commonly oppressed in these cities.

Because of this, God sent two angels to confirm their sins before judgment. He shares this with Abraham because he had “chosen him,” also translated “known him.”

One of the characteristics of those who are really intimate with God is that he shares his secrets with them. Consider these verses,

Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets. (Amos 3:7)

The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. (Psalm 25:14)

The Lord makes his will known to his servants.

Interpretation Question: In what ways does God make his will known to his servants—his friends?

This knowledge may come in charismatic ways like strong impressions, dreams, or even a small still voice, but his primary way of revealing himself is through the Word of God and prayer.

Those who are friends of God constantly receive revelation from the Lord through his Word. Isaiah 66:2 says, “‘This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.” God esteems and favors those who reverence his Word. Job declared that he treasured God’s Word more than his daily bread (Job 23:12). David was a man after God’s own heart, and he wrote the longest chapter in the Bible about the Word of God in Psalm 119. In it he heaps praises on the Word of God. “Oh how I love your law, it is my meditation all the day long” (119:97). He was God’s friend.

Those who are God’s friends meditate on his Word and receive revelation from it. It is while in the Word that they receive a strong sense of God’s displeasure for a sinful act, a person, or a nation. It is while in the Word that they sense God’s great love, concern, and compassion.

But not only does God reveal his will in response to time in the Word, he also reveals it in response to prayer. Consider Paul’s prayer in Colossians 1:9: “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.”

Paul continually prayed for the Colossians to be filled with the knowledge of God’s will. We must do the same. We must intercede to be filled with the knowledge of God’s will and for God to reveal it to others. In response to prayer, God makes himself and his will known.

A great example of this is Paul’s call to missions. Consider Acts 13:1–3,

In the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen (who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch) and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off.

After prayer and fasting, the Holy Spirit revealed God’s plans to send Barnabas and Saul on missionary journeys. In response to prayer, God revealed his will.

Are you willing to pray to know God’s will? Are you willing to abide in his Word to know it?

God reveals his covenant to his friends. He ministers to them in a special way. Many do not know God’s will because they don’t spend time in God’s Word and prayer.

Application Question: In what ways have you experienced God’s direction or concern for a person, a situation, or even a country while being intimate with God? In what other ways has God revealed his heart to you?

Friends of God Are Intercessors

Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:23–25)

After the Lord shared this revelation, Abraham approached God (v. 23). The Hebrew word “approached” means “to come to court to argue a case.”⁶ Abraham was burdened for the lost in Sodom and Gomorrah and also for Lot and his family. He said to God, “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? What if the number is five less than fifty? What if only thirty can be found there?” Abraham’s last petition was, “What if only ten can be found there?” Each time God said that if that specific number of righteous people were in Sodom he would save it.

We can learn many things from this. We learn something of what it means to be the salt of the earth (Matt 5:13). It is because of the few righteous in the land that God does not destroy nations, cities, and communities. Though these people are often hated and persecuted, it is their presence and righteous life that keeps back God’s wrath. When believers compromise with the world by their lifestyles, they usher in God’s destruction. They fail to serve their purpose.

But, the primary thing we can learn from this passage is how God’s friends are intercessors. I believe this is the very reason God shared this with Abraham. Ezekiel 22:30 says, “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.” God looks for people who will intercede and pray so that he will not destroy the land. The problem is that so few share his heart and his burdens, therefore nations, cities, families, and individuals are destroyed because so few intercede.

God shares his burdens with his friends, and they intercede. Christ said, “Blessed are the mourners for they shall be comforted” (Matt 5:4). The mourners bear the pain from their own sin but also the pain from the sins of their friends, churches, cities, and nations. In their mourning, they cry out for God’s mercy.

We see a similar story to Abraham’s with the prophet Amos. God revealed to Amos several judgments coming against Israel, and for each, Amos prays for God’s mercy and God removes the judgment. Consider the story below:

This is what the Sovereign LORD showed me: He was preparing swarms of locusts after the king's share had been harvested and just as the second crop was coming up. When they had stripped the land clean, I cried out, “Sovereign LORD, forgive! How can Jacob survive? He is so small! So the LORD relented. “This will not happen,” the LORD said. This is what the Sovereign LORD showed me: The Sovereign LORD was calling for judgment by fire; it dried up the great deep and devoured the land. Then I cried out, “Sovereign LORD, I beg you, stop! How can Jacob survive? He is so small!” So the LORD relented. “This will not happen either,” the Sovereign LORD said. (Amos 7:1–6)

Are you a friend of God? God’s friends care about his concerns. They bear his burdens and intercede for them. Moses interceded for Israel (Exod 32:9–14). Samuel promised Israel that he would not sin against the Lord by ceasing to intercede for them (1 Sam 12:23). Friends of God intercede.

In fact, Scripture commands us to intercede for everyone because God desires that none should perish. First Timothy 2:1–4 says:

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Paul also commands us to intercede for all saints in the context of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:18 says, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

In fact, when interceding, we participate in the ministry of Christ. One of his current ministries as High Priest is praying for saints. Hebrews 7:25 says, “Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.” He constantly intercedes for his people, and we should as well. Friends carry the burdens of one another.

Are you willing to carry God’s burden for individuals, families, churches, and nations? God is looking for those who will intercede. He desires that none should perish but that all would come to repentance.

Will you intercede? Sometimes, it’s the only thing we can do, and at the same time, the only thing needed.

Application Question: In what ways has God been challenging you to grow in intercession? What burdens has God put on your heart?

Conclusion

How can we grow in intimacy and friendship with God, as seen in God’s relationship with Abraham?

Friends of God Continually Worship Him
Friends of God Prioritize Time with Him
Friends of God Are Zealous in Serving Him
Friends of God Are Generous in Offerings to Him
Friends of God Inspire Faith in Others
Friends of God Are Growing in the Knowledge of God’s Will
Friends of God Are Intercessors

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 254). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

² Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 1507–1508). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

³ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 1531–1533). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁴ Kidner, D. (1967). Genesis: An Introduction and Commentary (Vol. 1, p. 143). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

⁵ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 263). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁶ Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 77). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

Related Topics: Christian Life

8. How to Experience God’s Power in Our Lives (Genesis 17

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When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers.” Abram fell facedown, and God said to him, “As for me, this is my covenant with you: You will be the father of many nations. No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you. I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you. The whole land of Canaan, where you are now an alien, I will give as an everlasting possession to you and your descendants after you; and I will be their God.” Then God said to Abraham, “As for you, you must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations to come. This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you. For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised… (Genesis 17)

How can we experience more of God’s power in our lives?

In this text, God appears to Abraham as El Shaddai—God Almighty (cf. Gen 17:1), which is the first time this name is used in Scripture.¹ In Genesis 15:1, after Abraham fought a battle against the four kings of the east and rescued Lot, God appeared to Abraham and said that he was Abraham’s “shield”. He had protected him. To Abraham’s worries about refusing the wealth of the king of Sodom, God said that he was his “reward.” He would provide.

Many of us know God as Father. He cares, directs, and disciplines us. We know him as our Shepherd who meets our needs and guides us in life’s affairs. But very few know God as El Shaddai—God Almighty. The word pictures God’s strength and power to accomplish impossible things. El is the Hebrew word for God, but there is some debate over the word Shaddai. Some scholars say it comes from a word meaning mountain—again representing God’s strength. Others see it coming from a word meaning breast—where a child receives nourishment. Either way, it ultimately refers to “the all-powerful and all-sufficient God who can do anything and meet any need.”²

Very few know God as El Shaddai. They see a God in Scripture who delivers Israel from slavery in Egypt, splits the Red Sea, turns water into wine, raises the dead, and heals the blind, and they wonder why they never experience the miraculous in their lives.

Christ said that those who believed in him would do greater miracles than these (John 14:12). They would do greater miracles than his raising the dead, healing the blind, multiplying the bread, etc. How can this be? Certainly, the disciples experienced this. When Peter preached his first sermon, 3,000 people were saved (cf. Acts 2:41). Christ’s ministry was largely limited to Israel, but the disciples reached and turned the world upside down (cf. Acts 17:6). Certainly, this still happens today as nations and governments are transformed by the gospel. However, with that said, most Christians still have no personal experience of this.

Here, God reveals himself to Abraham as El Shaddai, God Almighty—the God for whom nothing is impossible. Then he renews the promise of a seed and making him a great nation. This is the God we need to know as well. We need him for our individual lives that continually fall short of his image. We need him to see our families, churches, and nations transformed. We need to know God as El Shaddai. Paul made it his mission to not only know Christ but his power. He said: “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Phil 3:10).

Second Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” God is looking for people to demonstrate his power in and through.

How can we have lives that continually experience God’s power—that continually experience the miraculous? We learn six principles about this in Genesis 17, as God reveals himself as El Shaddai to Abraham.

Big Question: What principles can we learn about experiencing God’s power from the narrative in Genesis 17?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Not Discount God’s Ability to Accomplish the Impossible

In Genesis 17, God appears to Abraham at ninety-nine years old to tell him that he was about to increase his numbers and that this would happen through Sarah. Both Abraham and Sarah were beyond the age of child bearing, and therefore, this word from the Lord seemed incredulous. In fact, at this point in the narrative, Abraham probably believed God already gave him the child of promise. In Genesis 16, he married Hagar and she conceived Ishmael. The Angel of the Lord appeared to Hagar saying that her descendants through Ishmael would become too numerous to count (cf. Gen 16:10). Certainly, Ishmael was a donkey of a man and difficult to deal with, but Abraham probably believed God would fulfill his promise through him. No doubt, Abraham had not considered the impossible, that God could bring a child through barren Sarah.

However, that is exactly what God did. When God prophesied about this miracle child, Abraham laughed (cf. Gen 17:17). He probably didn’t laugh because he didn’t believe, but simply because the promise was incredulous. Not only would the child come through Sarah, who was barren and past the age of child bearing, but it would also come through Abraham at an age where his reproductive organs were essentially dead.

This is important for us to consider, for many times, like Abraham, we don’t consider the possibility of the miraculous. We ask questions like, “How can God fix this situation?” “How can God turn this around?” or “How can God use somebody like me?” We do not consider that God is in the miracle working business, and it is through miracles that he often chooses to glorify himself. It is not that he doesn’t work in the mundane. God is always working, but he especially shows his glory through the impossible.

Christ told his disciples about the impossibility of mankind being saved in Matthew 19:24–26. He said it was easier for a rich man to go through an eye of a needle. The disciples responded, “Who then can be saved?” Christ’s replied, “With man this is impossible but with God all things are possible.”

The greatest way we experience El Shaddai’s power is in our salvation. We were dead in our trespasses and sins, but God resurrected us (cf. Eph 2:1–5). We were resurrected from death to life, darkness to light. Salvation, essentially, is the greatest miracle we can experience. The natural mind is at enmity with God (Rom 8:7). It cannot accept or understand God’s Word apart from the Spirit (1 Cor 2:14). Man is dead to God and needs a miracle to be saved. And since, believers have experienced the greatest miracle, why would we not continually expect God to work miracles in our lives? Consider what Paul says,

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:31–32)

If God gave us his Son, the greatest gift he could give us, how much more will he not meet all our needs? How much more will he not move mountains to provide for us?

One of the things we must take from God’s appearance to Abraham at ninety-nine years, when it was physically impossible to have a child, is that God often works in the impossible.

What is your impossible situation? Many Christians will not even bring some circumstances or situations before God. Why? It’s because to them, it seems too impossible. Can God change hearts? Absolutely. He is in the heart transplant business. He can take a stony heart, remove it, and place a fleshy heart in its place (cf. Ezek 36:26). He can give people hearts that beat for his Word, desire him, and desire righteousness. Can God change a government? Can God change a nation? Absolutely, our God works in the impossible.

With Israel, he took a small nation in slavery to Egypt, delivered them, and made them a great nation. Under Solomon’s reign, the nations of the world came to Israel to bask in its glory.

What situation is God calling you to bring before him? Our God is the God of the impossible. Let us bring our problems, fears, and hopes before him because that is exactly where he works. He works in the impossible.

As we consider Abraham’s situation, we must come to the realization that we should not discount the impossible, no matter how bleak the situation. In fact, by discounting the impossible, we often miss the glory of God. In Christ’s hometown, he said that he did not perform many miracles there because of their unbelief (Matt 13:58). Mark 6:5 says, “He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.”

Sometimes our lack of faith in the impossible will actually keep God from moving. Is your faith keeping God from breaking into your circumstance in a special way? Whatever our situation, we must not discount the impossible if we are going to see El Shaddai—God Almighty—move.

In fact, we gain some insight by peeking at the end of Abraham’s story. We know that when God gives Abraham the child of promise, Isaac, he eventually asked Abraham to sacrifice him in Genesis 22. Hebrews 11:19 says he was willing to do this because he knew that God could raise him from the dead. After decades of walking with El Shadai, Abraham starts to expect God to perform the miraculous.

Are you expecting miracles in your life—in your difficult situation? Some people stay discouraged, depressed, and bound to sin because they have no expectation—no faith. We must not discount the miraculous when it comes to God.

Application Question: How have you experienced El Shaddai? In what ways have you seen him work the impossible to glorify himself?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Walk Blamelessly before the Lord

When God appears to Abraham, he tells him to walk before him and be blameless. The word “blameless” does not mean “sinless.” “The word means “single-hearted, without blame, sincere, wholly devoted to the Lord.”’³

Walking is a picture of continuous repetition. It may not be exciting. It is not running, jumping, or climbing. God wants us to faithfully walk step by step with him. When believers walk faithfully with God day by day, he moves in mighty ways.

It was said of Enoch that he walked with God and he was no more (Gen 5:24)—God took him to heaven. We learn more about Enoch from Jude. Enoch prophesied about Christ’s second coming before the first coming, as he called people to turn from sin (cf. 1:14–15). He was a person willing to walk blamelessly before the Lord. This was, also, said about Enoch’s grandchild, Noah. He was blameless and walked with God (cf. Gen 6:9). God did not keep him from the flood, as with Enoch, but he, miraculously, saved him through the flood on a great ship.

This is true for us, as well. We must understand that if we want to continually experience God’s power, we cannot walk in sin. David said this about God, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened” (Ps 66:18).

Even for God to hear our prayers, we must separate from sin and live a holy life. James 1:7–8 says a double minded man—a person not living in faith, a person trying to live for God and the world—will receive nothing from God.

Abraham needed to walk blamelessly to experience God’s power. Yes, God was going to fulfill this covenant through his power and based on his faithfulness alone, as it was a unilateral covenant, but Abraham still needed to walk blamelessly, through the grace God provided.

We will see later in the biblical narrative that Israel also had to be blameless in order to receive the land promised. When Israel did not walk blamelessly with God, they missed out: They wandered in the wilderness, were conquered by their enemies, and eventually were exiled from the promised land.

This is also true for many Christians. They miss the miraculous in their lives because they fail to walk blamelessly in response to God’s grace. Paul said: “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me” (1 Cor 15:10). We must respond to God’s grace to experience the miraculous.

Are you walking blamelessly before God?

God has given us grace as well. He gave us his Holy Spirit, his Word, and his church so that we can be blameless. We cannot expect to see El Shaddai move, when we are not walking, step by step, with him.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced missing out on God’s best because of unfaithfulness? Are there any specific areas in which God is calling you to be blameless?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Continually Be Filled with the Holy Spirit

No longer will you be called Abram; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you. I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you… (Genesis 17:5–7)

The next thing God does is change Abram’s name to Abraham. Abram meant “exalted father” and Abraham meant “father of a multitude.” The name change pictured a change in character or destiny, but it also pictured God’s Lordship. To name someone in the ancient world, as it does today, pictured lordship or sovereignty (cf. 2 Kgs 24:17). Only one in complete ownership of another could name them. Mothers and fathers named their children. Kings at times renamed their subjects (cf. Dan 1:7). Adam named the animals in the field and his wife Eve. God named Abraham because he was his sovereign.

However, there is more to this name change. This will not stand out to us, but it would stand out to those in the ancient culture. God adds a breath sound to Abram’s name. No longer would he be Abram but Abraham. The “ha” sound was added.

What does that mean? Pastor, scholar James Boice pointed this out in his commentary. He said that the breathy sound would jump out to the ancients—it represented the spirit. In Hebrew, ruach is the word for wind or breath, but it also means spirit. The creation story says the “Spirit” of God hovered over the waters (Gen 1:2). It also could be translated the “wind” of the God. Similarly, when it says God breathed into man the “breath” of life (Gen 2:7), it could also be translated the “Spirit” of life.

Not only was this true in the Hebrew culture but also in the Greek culture and the Roman culture. In Greek, the word pneumos, spirit, also means breath. In Latin, the word spiritus, spirit, similarly, means breath.⁴ God gave Abraham the breath sound, and he did the same with his wife, Sarai. Sarai meant “my lady” or “princess,” and her new name Sarah meant “princess of a multitude.”⁵ The breathy “ah” sound also represented God’s Spirit. His Spirit would accomplish this great work through Abraham and Sarah. The Spirit would give them a son in their old age.

One of the necessary components of experiencing God’s power is the Holy Spirit. Jesus said to the disciples that they needed to wait in Jerusalem until they were endowed with power through the Holy Spirit (cf. Acts 1:8). The Holy Spirit was crucial for them to accomplish God’s will and to have God’s power in doing it.

In order to experience God’s power, like Abraham and the apostles, we must experience God’s Spirit. God essentially tells Abraham that he would complete the work through his Spirit. In fact, there are twelve “I will” statements in this passage.⁶ I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations out of you, and so on... Even Abraham’s walking before the Lord and being blameless would be done through the work of the Holy Spirit. This is true for us as well.

Do we want to experience God’s power in our lives to conquer sin and to accomplish great works? This can only be done through the Holy Spirit.

Application Question: How can we experience the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives?

1. We must be indwelled by the Holy Spirit.

The indwelling of the Holy Spirit happens at salvation. The Holy Spirit comes and indwells every believer who is truly saved. Christ said the Holy Spirit was with the disciples and would be in them (cf. John 14:17). This happened at Pentecost in the book of Acts (chapter 2). Now, Scripture teaches that we each are indwelled by the Spirit, as we are his temple (1 Cor 6:19).

This should go without saying. In order to experience the power of the Holy Spirit, we must first be indwelt by the Holy Spirit, which is true of every believer.

2. We must daily be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Every true believer experienced the indwelling of the Holy Spirit; however, the “filling” of the Holy Spirit is a continual experience we must seek. There is one indwelling at salvation and many fillings throughout the believer’s life. Ephesians 5:18 says, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”

The Greek word for “filled” actually means to be “continually filled.” It is not a one-time experience. In the Old Testament, the Spirit of God came upon the prophet and empowered him to prophesy. He came upon the king and empowered him to lead and fight wars. God does the same to us through the Spirit’s filling. He empowers us to accomplish his works; therefore, we must daily seek it.

How can we be filled with the Spirit? We see part of the process described in Ephesians 5:19–21. It says,

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

In this text, we see the need for corporate worship, “speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,” and individual worship, “Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.” When we live in worship, God’s Spirit comes upon us in power. In fact, we see this in 2 Kings 3:15 when Elisha calls for a harpist. The harpist plays, and the hand of the Lord fell upon him empowering him to prophesy. Worship empowers us today, as well.

We also are filled by the Spirit through practicing thanksgiving. It says, “always giving thanks to God the Father for everything.” The complainer and the worrier will not experience the power of God. This power goes to the one who practices thanksgiving.

In addition, we see that the person who submits to others out of reverence for Christ also will be filled with the Spirit. When I am living in discord—fighting with other brothers or sisters—I lose the filling and, therefore, the power of the Spirit.

Two other ways that we are filled by the Spirit are through prayer and time in the Word. In Acts 4:31, the apostles and the early church got together to pray, in response to persecution, and the place they gathered was shaken. They were filled with the Spirit and spoke the Word of God boldly. It says, “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”

Living in God’s Word is also a critical aspect of being filled with the Spirit. Colossians 3:16–18 is a parallel passage to Ephesians 5:18–21. It says,

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

The believers were commanded to let the word of Christ dwell in them richly, and the characteristics or results of this would be teaching one another, worshiping, having gratitude, and also practicing submission. These are virtually the same results as being filled with the Spirit. This means that being filled with the Spirit is synonymous to allowing the Word of Christ to dwell in us richly. It produces the same fruit. Therefore, we must live in God’s Word to be filled by the Spirit.

Are you being filled with the Spirit of God?

God symbolized this by adding the breath sound to Abraham’s and Sarah’s names. God has, also, given us his Spirit to indwell us and fill us. Are you daily being filled with the Spirit in order to experience God’s power?

Application Question: In what ways have you experienced God’s power when being filled with the Spirit? Do you daily seek this experience? Why or why not?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Have a Revelation of Our Weakness

This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you. For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised, including those born in your household or bought with money from a foreigner—those who are not your offspring. Whether born in your household or bought with your money, they must be circumcised. My covenant in your flesh is to be an everlasting covenant. Any uncircumcised male, who has not been circumcised in the flesh, will be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant.” (Genesis 17:10–14)

Interpretation Question: What is the significance of circumcision for Jews? What did it represent?

After God renews the seed promise to Abraham and gives him a new name, God commands him to circumcise himself and every man in his household. Circumcision was a sign of God’s covenant with Abraham and his descendants. The males were to be circumcised eight days after birth.

When God covenanted with Noah to not destroy the earth by flood, he gave the rainbow as a sign. Here, God gives the sign of circumcision. We can understand this symbolism by considering the wedding ring often used in marriage ceremonies. It is a picture of the enduring love and commitment of a married couple; however, it is not the marriage. It’s only a symbol of the marriage.

Similarly, circumcision was meant to be a picture of one’s spiritual commitment to God. It never was meant to be salvific, even though, sadly, many Jews believed circumcision was equal to salvation. Circumcision was only meant to symbolize one’s inner commitment to God. We see this in several verses:

The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. (Deuteronomy 30:6)

Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, circumcise your hearts, you men of Judah and people of Jerusalem, or my wrath will break out and burn like fire because of the evil you have done— burn with no one to quench it. (Jeremiah 4:4)

Circumcision was meant to be an external sign of an internal work. It was very similar to baptism for believers today. Baptism does not save, but it represents our death, burial, and resurrection with Christ in our salvation. It is an act of obedience that represents what happened in our lives.

With that said, circumcision also seemed to represent more than an internal faith commitment for Abraham. Kent Hughes said this about the act of circumcision for Abraham:

Significantly, circumcision involved Abraham’s powers of procreation—the area of life in which he had resorted to fleshly expediency—and had so failed. Man’s best plans and strength of will would never bring about the promise. For Abraham circumcision was an act of repentance and a sign of dependence upon God for the promise.⁷

James Boice adds,

Abraham’s obedience did not mean that he was contributing anything to the covenant. In fact, it meant the opposite. The cutting away of the flesh meant the renunciation of human effort, which arises out of the flesh, and the willingness to bear about in the body the mark of the individual’s identification with God.⁸

Circumcision would always represent to Abraham the failure of his flesh. He tried to secure a seed through his own works, instead of through faithfully trusting God. Circumcision would always remind him of that. I think we also see this symbolism in how Paul described our spiritual circumcision in the New Covenant. He said: “For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh” (Phil 3:3). In addition to commitment to God, circumcision represents putting no confidence in the flesh.

Similarly, if we are going to experience God’s power in our lives, we must have a revelation of the weakness of our flesh. Jesus said, “The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing” (John 6:63). God cannot work through the flesh. The flesh is at enmity with God. If it is of the flesh, it is not of Spirit. Every work of the flesh must be put to death. We must learn our weakness to truly see and experience God’s power.

Because of this reality, God often allows us to experience failure, pain, and suffering to show us how weak we really are. Consider what Paul said about his weaknesses and trials:

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8–9)

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7–10)

Paul realized that sometimes God allows us to experience what feels like death for us to experience God’s resurrection power. Sometimes, he allows us to have a thorn in the flesh so his power might be made perfect in us. Pain and suffering is God’s gracious reminder of how much we need him.

Sadly, we often need reminding of this just like Abraham because of the pride in our flesh. With Jacob, who was also pridefully dependent on his flesh, God wrestled with him and hallowed his thigh. He would forever limp, which reminded him of his weakness. He needed to know his weakness to know his need for God.

Those who, by God’s grace, learn their weakness and strength in God often experience more of God’s abundant grace and his power in their lives.

But the independent and prideful only experience his power in discipline. James 4:7 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” He fights against the independent and prideful—those who trust in their strength and resources. But, he gives grace to the humble—they experience his power.

Are you striving to experience the promises through your own power and wisdom? Or have you learned your weakness and that of the world? Have you learned to depend upon God? Often God brings trials—he often allows us to be humbled in order for us to experience his power.

John 15:2 says that those who bear fruit, he prunes so that they can bear more fruit. He cuts—he allows pain in our lives—so that we can truly be conduits of his power. Certainly, we can discern a sense of this in Abraham’s circumcision. He and his descendants would forever be reminded of their weakness and need for God’s power.

Application Question: Are there any special ways that you feel that God allowed you to endure pain so that you could know your need for him and experience his power?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Be Others-Focused

Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.” (Genesis 17:17–21)

As God shares the miracle of Sarah birthing a child, Abraham couldn’t help but laugh. This laugh does not seem to be out of unbelief but simply because this miracle was incredulous. We can discern this by the fact that God doesn’t rebuke or become angry with him. This was unlike Sarah’s laugh in Genesis 18, when God rebuked her. He said, “Why did Sarah laugh?”

In response to God’s promise, Abraham said, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” Abraham does not ask for more blessings on himself. He wants God to not forget about his son, Ishmael. He was selfless. In fact, all of God’s promises to Abraham are really about others. It was through his seed that all the nations would be blessed. God was going to bless Abraham so he could be a blessing to others (cf. Gen 12:3). Therefore, Abraham’s prayer to experience God’s power was selfless. He wanted God’s blessing for others.

I think this is also a necessary attitude for people to have in order to experience God’s power. We must practice a selfless, others-focused attitude. Abraham is not all about himself. He is a man growing in the character of God. He is all about others. In the conflict between Abraham and Lot in Genesis 13, Abraham speaks to Lot and says, “Take your pick of the land.” Though, it was his right to choose the best portion, as the patriarch, he wanted Lot to have the best. He was unselfish.

In talking to the scattered Jews that were warring among one another, James said:

You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (James 4:2–3)

These Jewish Christians were very much like the world. They were fighting and bickering because they were not getting their own way. Consequently, it led to wars and even murder in the church. This even made their prayers corrupt. James said their prayers weren’t being answered because they were selfish—consumed with their own desires. However, this was not true about Abraham. Abraham’s hope and prayer was selfless. He desired for God to bless Ishmael, and in response, God affirmed him.

No doubt, this is true about Christians who experience God’s power. They are not living for themselves—seeking their own blessing—but they are like their Savior—selflessly seeking the blessing for others. Christ said that he did not come to be served, but to serve others and give himself as a ransom for many (Matt 20:28).

Why do you want to experience God’s power? Is it so that you can bring glory to yourself or gain your desires?

There was one man like this in the early church. His name was Simon. He approaches Peter with money, hoping to receive power to pray and for people to receive the Holy Spirit. Peter, in anger, responds to him:

“May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” (Acts 8:20–23)

Simon wanted to experience God’s power so that he could bring glory to himself. However, Abraham had different motivations. He selflessly, cared about Ishmael.

No doubt, this was Paul’s desire as well, when he said that he wanted to know the “power of the resurrection” in his life (Phil 3:10). Paul wanted to be just like Christ, which included blessing people through his prayers, preaching, and serving. He wanted Christ’s power in his ministry for others.

Do you cry out to God, “If only my family might live under your blessing!”, “If only my church might live under your blessing!”, “If only my nation, might live under your blessing!”? Are you seeking his power so others might be blessed and that God might receive the glory?

Many Christians want to experience resurrection power for their glory instead of God’s—for their selfish desires instead of the Lord’s desires. No doubt, there are Simon’s in the church today, who, instead of receiving God’s blessing, receive his condemnation, because of their selfish motives.

Paul said, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). Let this be true of us, as we desire to know and experience El Shaddai—God Almighty. Let us seek for God’s power in order to bless others and to glorify God (cf. John 15:8).

Application Question: As we seek to experience God’s power in our lives, how do we make sure that we have right motives? Who has God currently put on your heart to pray for like Abraham prayed for Ishmael?

Conclusion

As we consider Abraham in this passage and God’s call on his life, we cannot but think about Abraham’s grandson, Jesus (cf. Matt 1:1). Jesus was given a name by God, just like Abraham was. Jesus means “God is salvation” or “Savior” (cf. Matt 1:21). He was filled with the Spirit from the womb. He was led by the Spirit throughout his life and in a special way during his ministry. He experienced weakness—he hungered, thirsted, felt pain, and even struggled with depression, as he was weary unto death. He was others focused—he did not come to be served but to serve others. He was the ultimate fulfillment of God’s covenant with Abraham, as he is a blessing to the nations. He was a man full of God’s power, and we are called to follow in his footsteps.

How can we experience God’s power in our lives?

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Not Discount God’s Ability to Accomplish the Impossible
To Experience God’s Power, We Must Walk Blamelessly before the Lord
To Experience God’s Power, We Must Continually Be Filled with the Holy Spirit
To Experience God’s Power, We Must Have a Revelation of Our Weakness
To Experience God’s Power, We Must Be Others-Focused

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 63). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

² Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 63). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

³ Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 64). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

⁴ Boice, J. M. (1998). Genesis: an expositional commentary (p. 583). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

⁵ Guzik, David (2012-12-08). Genesis (Kindle Locations 2919–2920). Enduring Word Media. Kindle Edition.

⁶ Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 63). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

⁷ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 248). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁸ Boice, J. M. (1998). Genesis: an expositional commentary (pp. 585–586). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

Related Topics: Christian Life

7. How to Protect Our Family (Genesis 16)

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Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.” “Your servant is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her. The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I'm running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.” The angel of the LORD also said to her: “You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the LORD has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.” She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered. So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael. (Genesis 16)

How do we protect our family from spiritual attack and the severe consequences of sin?

This narrative in many ways resembles Satan’s attack on the first family in the garden with Adam and Eve. The consequences of that failure were drastic, affecting every child of Adam with sin. Similarly, the consequences of David’s family failure were drastic as well. David slept with Bathsheba and murdered her husband, which led to the sword never departing from his home. We also see a grave consequence here with Abraham’s failure of taking another wife and having a child named Ishmael by her. This resulted in two competing seeds whose descendants are still battling thousands of years later. We see this in the current Arab-Israeli conflict.

How can we protect ourselves and our family from the attacks of the enemy and the severe consequences of sin?

In this narrative, Abraham was about eighty-five years old and his wife, Sarah, was about seventy-five. Even though the patriarchs had a long-life span, Abraham and Sarah were both approaching post-childbearing years. This was a problem since God promised to make Abraham a great nation, and he didn’t yet have a child. It was about ten years since the first promise and maybe Abraham and Sarah struggled with doubts (cf. Gen 12). Therefore, Sarah sought to take matters into her own hands. She encourages Abraham to marry Hagar, Sarah’s maidservant, to have a seed.

God promised Abraham a seed but never clearly said that it would come from Sarah; therefore, she probably rationalized that this might be God’s provision. However, this plan backfires, because after Hagar became pregnant, she despised Sarah. Hagar probably saw herself as possessing a higher status because she now had a child. Women without children in those days were often looked down upon in society. Bearing children, especially sons, provided protection for the family, allowed them to gain more wealth, and continued the family name. Having children was the major role of women in that society, and now that Hagar was pregnant with Abraham’s child, she probably saw herself as superior to Sarah.

This caused a conflict in the home which would have tremendous future ramifications. Ishmael, the son of Hagar, would, similarly, despise Isaac, the future son of Sarah (Gen 21:9). Ishmael is the father of the Arab nations and Isaac is the father of Israel. These nations have been in conflict for thousands of years.

How do we protect our family from attack and the consequences of sin? God always forgives when we repent, but sometimes the consequences of our sins last for generations. Here we learn from Abraham’s and Sarah’s failure. In this study, we will consider eight principles about how to protect our family from attack and the consequences of sin.

Big Question: From this narrative, what can we learn about protecting our family from attack and the consequences of sin?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Influence of Culture

God promised Abraham that his seed would be like the stars in the sky; however, there was a problem. He had no children. Therefore, Sarah approaches Abraham and says, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her” (v. 2). Sarah’s intentions probably were not bad. God never directly said the seed would come through her, and so she decides to take action.

Asking her husband to marry her maidservant was a common cultural practice in those days. It was her job as the wife to provide her husband a child. In the case of barrenness, a wife would often give her maidservant to her husband to produce a child. When this happened, the child would be considered the seed of the first wife.¹

However, there is a problem with this idea. In this text, we don’t see Abraham or Sarah pray or seek the Lord. As in the narrative when they left Canaan and traveled to Egypt (cf. Gen 12:10–20), the altar is absent. At this point, no Scripture is written to explicitly forbid this practice. It seems that during this period of time, God spoke to people directly: sometimes through prophets and also through the conscience—the natural law in man (cf. Jude 1:14–15, Rom 2:14–15). Marrying another woman was clearly outside God’s original design of a man and a woman becoming one flesh (Gen 2:24). As mentioned, this caused great problems in their family and with their descendants throughout history.

However, this danger is common to all families. There is a tendency to build our family according to the culture and traditions of this world, instead of according to God’s revelation. Romans 12:2 says: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

When it says, “Do not conform any longer,” it has the connotation that Roman believers were already conforming to the world and that they needed to stop. Each of us has been saved out of the world system which is empowered and ruled by the devil. Scripture calls Satan the ruler of this world (cf. John 12:31). His imprint is on every culture. It is on government, education, business, and entertainment, and Christians must be aware of this.

The very fact that many Christians are not aware often causes dangerous consequences in their lives and in their families. There are similar trends in modern day cultures destroying families.

Application Question: What cultural trends are dangerous to families, and in what ways do we see these aspects reflected in Abraham’s and Sarah’s unfortunate decision?

1. Culture many times promotes an unbiblical understanding of gender roles in the marriage union.

Scripture clearly teaches the leadership of the man in the home. Paul said this,

Paul taught that wives should submit to their husbands as unto the Lord and that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. However, culture teaches anything but a biblical view of gender roles in the home. It will teach that there is no headship in the home, even though, this conflicts with practical reason. In every company or business there is authority, and without authority, chaos ensues. Headship does not mean inequality. A captain and a corporal are equal; however, the corporal must submit to the captain to have order in the military. It is the same in the home. But since most homes don’t follow biblical order, there is chaos.

Some cultures teach that there is no authority in the home, and others wrongly emphasize either the male’s authority (patriarchal) or the female’s (matriarchal). Neither are biblical models. The wife is not to be a doormat and neither is the husband. They both are designed by God with wonderful and unique gifts that should be exercised in the context of love and authority. Husbands must love their wives and wives must submit to their husbands. Sadly, even many Christian marriages have been affected by culture and no longer practice a biblical view of gender roles. Therefore, like Abraham and Sarah, they suffer the consequences of rebellion against God’s design.

2. Culture many times promotes the children over the marriage union.

In many cultures, children are the focus of the family, instead of the marriage itself. Families spend all their time and energy making sure the children go to the best schools and get the best training, which is fine. However, they commonly do this to the detriment of the marriage.

This is part of what happened with Abraham and Sarah. In the ancient culture, tremendous focus was placed on having children for their obvious benefits: they were the retirement plan, the defense plan, and the plan to achieve social status. Because of this, they often were the focus of the marriage. We not only saw this with Abraham and Sarah, but also with Hannah and, her husband, Elkanah, in 1 Samuel. The husband cries out to her, “Am I not better than ten sons?” (1:8). The focus on bearing a child was suffocating the marriage.

It is the same today. The highest rate of divorce is in the first year of marriage, as people come in with unrealistic expectations. But the second highest is around year twenty. Why are so many people getting divorced after twenty years of marriage? They don’t know each other anymore. They don’t know each other because the focus of the marriage was the children. When they had a baby, the wife basically moved into the room with the baby and intimacy with the husband stopped. From infanthood till adulthood the parents’ focus was the child’s education and extracurricular activities and somewhere in the midst of that the marriage was lost.

When God started the human race with a man and a woman, he meant for that to be the center of the family and society. We see this even in Paul’s command in Ephesians 5. The woman is called to submit to the husband as unto Christ. The husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church. For the husband and wife, the focus should be God, their marriage, and then their children. Children benefit when parents model these priorities. Children need to see a biblical model of marriage at home; otherwise, they become self-centered and prideful because the home revolves around them. This actually cripples them for the rest of their life, since the world does not revolve around them. Ultimately, they repeat the sins of the parents with their own children.

This was common in ancient cultures, and it still happens today to the detriment of the family. The marriage should be the priority relationship in the home.

3. Culture many times promotes promiscuity as acceptable in the marriage union.

Sadly, in many cultures promiscuity is acceptable, especially for men, as seen with Abraham. In these cultures, the man is the patriarch of the home—the unquestioned leader—and with that comes a certain amount of freedom to enjoy the comforts of women. In the ancient culture, this was seen in the role of concubines. The man would marry a woman to bear him children and to increase his social status by uniting with her family; but he would secure concubines to fulfill his lust. Solomon married the princess of Egypt to strengthen his alliances, but, in order to fulfill his lust, he had a harem of concubines. This was socially acceptable. Sadly, in Judges 19, we even see a Levite (essentially a pastor) with a concubine.

This is growing in our culture as well. For some, it is acceptable to invite others into the marriage (an open marriage). For others, as with Abraham, it is acceptable for the man to have many wives or mistresses. There is a growing cultural trend called “hooking up,” which has made monogamy almost archaic, even in marriage. The church must be aware of this trend and condemn it, as Scripture does.

4. Culture many times promotes prosperity over the marriage union.

Again, this may have been part of Abraham’s and Sarah’s thinking. Having many children was part of being prosperous and having status in society. Therefore, they were willing to go out of their marriage covenant to gain a child.

Sadly, the pursuit of prosperity often destroys many families. Paul said this,

People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:9–10)

How do we see families piercing themselves with many griefs as they pursue money?

The husband, and sometimes the wife as well, are never home to disciple and train their children because of work—their attempt to gain prosperity. This creates anger in their children because they really don’t know their parents and, at times, doubt if they really care. Parents send their children to the best K-12 schools, sometimes in other countries, and miss out on the role of discipling and loving their children. They give the role of parenting over to someone else. Again, this creates an unresolved anger in the hearts of children.

Scripture says: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). The word “Fathers” can also be translated “Parents.” It is the parents’ role to train their children in the instruction of the Lord. Sadly, many parents, by seeking the prosperity of the world, give up their God-given mandate to parent.

This again destroys the home. Instead of training the children, it creates a deep-seated anger in them that many never get over. Unfortunately, most children repeat the sins of the parents, and they raise up neglected children who are angry at them as well.

Abraham and Sarah, who notably were relatively young believers, still bore the remnants of the world culture on their lives, which brought drastic consequences on their marriage and their descendants.

Application Question: How do we protect our marriage and children from the influence of world culture?

Again, Paul said, “Do not be conformed any longer to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds.” If we are going to protect our marriage and families, we must develop a different thinking. We must saturate ourselves with a biblical worldview through studying Scripture, and we must test what we already believe. We must ask ourselves, “What does the Bible say about marriage, parenting, work, retirement, etc.?” This is crucial if we are going to build homes that stand against the wind and waves of culture. The home built on God’s Word will stand; however, the home built on the sand of culture will not last (cf. Matt 7:26–27).

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced how the unbiblical priorities of culture negatively affect families, even Christian families?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Enemy’s Common Attack through Intimate Relationships

The next thing we must notice is that Sarah is the one who asked Abraham to take another wife. Often, the enemy attacks our families from within or through other close relationships. In fact, in Genesis 12, it was Abraham who asked Sarah to lie about their marriage when they went down to Egypt. Often the enemy attacks from within the family. He did this with Adam and Eve. Scripture says that Eve was deceived but it never says that Adam was (cf. 1 Tim 2:14). He sinned with eyes wide open, as a result of his wife’s influence.

We can be sure that happened here with Abraham. If Mamre, Abraham’s neighbor, approached him about taking another wife, it probably would have fallen on deaf ears. The enemy wisely attacked through someone close and trusted. Satan even attacked Christ through his chief disciple, Peter (cf. Matt 16:22–23).

Commonly, this happens to us as well. The enemy attacks through a spouse, children, parents, cousins, or close friends. We are more prone to be influenced by people close to us, than those we don’t know, which is why Satan uses this tactic.

Application Question: How do we commonly see this attack on families?

Sadly, this often happens through the influence of parents on children. Many times parents teach their children primarily from a cultural standpoint, instead of a biblical one. I do not mean to say that all culture is bad; however, much of it conflicts with Scripture, as Satan is the ruler of this world, which includes culture. Many youth pastors and Sunday school teachers feel like they spend most of their time trying to retrain the children from their parents’ teaching.

The attack of the enemy through parents often continues in marriage. One of the top reasons for divorce is struggles with in-laws. In Genesis 2:24, when God brought Adam and Eve together, he said that a man should leave his father’s house and cleave to his wife. This means that the husband and the wife are called to make a separate family unit. Yes, they are still called to honor their mother and father, but first, they must honor God by prioritizing their spouse.

Unfortunately, many marriages are pulled in multiple directions by in-laws—causing great conflict in the home. The wife still wants to submit to her father and mother over her husband. And the husband is still trying to please mommy before his wife. Wise couples are aware of this reality.

However, Satan doesn’t just influence through family; he uses any number of close relationships. Again, these people are the most prone to influence us. Some marriages are torn up by the influence of friends. The wife has her girlfriends and the husband has his buddies, who many times are poor marriage counselors.

If we are going to protect our families, we must be aware of the enemy’s attacks through family and close relationships, and we must test everything through Scripture. This will protect our homes.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced homes being attacked through family or close friendships?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Spiritual Blindness from Unconfessed Sin

He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.” (Genesis 16:4–5)

After Abraham took Hagar as his wife and she conceived, she began to despise Sarah. Sarah then accused Abraham for the wrong done to her. She says, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.”’

Now, this doesn’t make sense. Sarah is the one who told Abraham to take Hagar as a wife, and, after he did it, she blames him for the wrong done to her. This is not uncommon in the home or our individual lives. As soon as sin came into the world, people started blaming one another. Adam indirectly blamed God for his sin. He said, “The woman YOU gave me, gave the fruit to me and I did eat.” He implicitly accused God for his failure and explicitly blamed Eve. Eve then blamed the serpent.

One of sin’s effects is the tendency to misevaluate our own sin. We tend to blame others and not see our own culpability, and that is exactly what happened with Sarah. No doubt, her own sin affected her ability to properly attribute blame. Was Abraham to blame? Certainly, he was the leader of the home. However, she persuaded him to take this course.

This also happens to us. Consider what Christ said about the ministry of correcting others in sin:

How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:4–5)

Christ described a brother with unconfessed sin, as someone with a plank in his eye. The implication is that sin affects one’s ability to see clearly and thus correctly evaluate sin. Unconfessed sin makes our spiritual sight blurry. This is what probably happened with Sarah. Because of her own sin, she could no longer properly evaluate Abraham’s sin or her own. Abraham’s sin looked really big because of the plank in her eye.

We get another great picture of this in the story of David after his adultery with Bathsheba. Nathan approached David to challenge him. He tells an elaborate story about a rich man with many sheep and a poor man with one lamb that he loved dearly. The rich man had visitors and instead of preparing one of his own sheep for dinner, he took the poor man’s lamb. David was so mad he said, “This man shall surely die.” Nathan replied, “You are the man!” (2 Sam 12:1–5).

Do you see the spiritual blindness? David is willing to kill a man for taking a poor man’s lamb, when he took a man’s wife and killed her husband. He could no longer properly evaluate because of his own sin. He had a plank in his eye—affecting his moral thermometer.

This happens many times in marriages and in our relationships in general. We are angry; we feel disrespected (and maybe we have been). However, we cannot properly evaluate the sin of others, without first confessing and repenting of our own. Therefore, we misjudge—sometimes even making mountains out of mole hills.

Christ said if we are going to perform spiritual surgery. If we are going to help others or restore a relationship in conflict, we must first get rid of our own sin, so we can see clearly to help others.

Marriages and relationships in general struggle through many misunderstandings because of spiritual blindness resulting from sin.

Application Question: How do we get rid of spiritual blindness so we can better minister to others or resolve a conflict?

1. We must continually confess and repent of our sins before God.

This is the only way to take the plank out of our eye, so we can help others. First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” To “confess” means “to say the same thing.” We must not soften our sin; we must see it as God does and turn away from it. When we do this, God cleanses us from not only confessed sin but also sin we are unaware of—he purifies us from “all unrighteousness.” This purification removes our spiritual blindness and gives us new clarity.

2. We must minister to others with humility because of our awareness of sin’s effects.

The reality is that we will never be fully free from sin until we get to heaven or Christ returns, whichever comes first. We are full of sin—prone to wrong thoughts and actions. This always affects our ability to properly evaluate others and ourselves. Therefore, our spiritual perception is never crystal clear. I think this should cause us to be humble when responding to someone’s accusations or when trying to help others. It is very possible that like Sarah, we have misevaluated the failure of others and our own.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced spiritual blindness from sin which affected one’s ability to morally evaluate?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Male Passivity

“Your servant is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her. (Genesis 16:6)

Sadly, the person most responsible for this debacle is Abraham. God called him to be the leader of his home—to shepherd and love Sarah. When she approaches him with this sinful idea, he never says, “No” or “Let’s pray and seek God.” He just passively goes along with her plan. In fact, in Genesis 16:2b, when it says “Abram listened to the voice of Sarai,” it is very reminiscent of what God said about Adam in Genesis 3:17:

Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

Not only is Abraham passive when his wife tells him to marry Hagar, but he is also passive when she complains about the decision’s consequences. He simply says, “Your servant is in your hands… Do with her whatever you think best.” He essentially says, “It’s your problem. Deal with it!” Sarah abuses Hagar—leading her to run away. Abraham doesn’t repent. He doesn’t protect Hagar and his unborn baby. Throughout the narrative, he is passive.

Sadly, male passivity has plagued the family since the beginning of time. Commonly, the wife is more spiritual than the husband. She is the spiritual engine of the family—promoting church attendance, Scripture reading, and prayer. However, God called the husband to be like Christ in the family, to wash his wife and children with the Word of God. Yet, many husbands refuse to stand up and lead, not only spiritually, but with everything.

God called the husband to lead the home, and when he doesn’t lead, everything begins to fall apart.

Application Question: How should a wife respond to a passive husband?

The wife should not nag the husband. Nagging will only make the passive husband more passive and even resentful. She must pray for him, gently encourage him, and respectfully, submit to him, even when he doesn’t merit it. Ultimately, she must be patient, because God changes hearts, not man (cf. 2 Tim 2:24–26). Consider what Peter said to wives with non-believing husbands:

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1–2)

The wife’s greatest strategy to change her husband is her submissive, pure, and reverent behavior in the home. This can change the most hardened heart.

Application Question: How should the husband respond to a wife that will not follow?

The husband must actively seek to lead the home, especially spiritually. He must pray for his wife and serve her. Though Christ was the disciples’ leader, he still did the ministry of a servant. He humbled himself by washing their feet (John 13). The husband, though the leader, must do the same. He must be meek and gentle like our Savior (Matt 11:28–30). He must pray for his wife, serve her, lead her, and when needed, forgive her.

If the wife will not follow, he must continue to be gentle and patient. The husband, like the wife, must remember that God changes the heart. He should humbly love and serve her regardless of how she responds. He must entrust his wife to God, as he faithfully obeys God.

Application Question: What about singles? How should they apply this reality?

Single women should not compromise in their dating/courting relationships. It is wise to understand that the pickings will often be slim, but even in that situation, they should not compromise. They should patiently wait for God to bring a man that is willing and prepared to be a spiritual leader. And in their waiting, they must prepare to be a godly wife by humbly serving God, the church, and others.

Single men must prepare themselves to be spiritual leaders. They do this by growing in the knowledge of the Lord and Scripture. By knowing Christ, a man begins to know what true leadership looks like, which will prepare him to lead a family. And also by knowing Scripture, he prepares to wash his family with it and to make decisions guided by it throughout life.

One of the ways we protect the family is by being careful of male passivity. It seems that at the fall Adam was right next to his wife when Satan tempted her. He didn’t step on the serpent’s head like he was supposed to, he just listens, and then submits to his wife. Christ, the model husband, is the seed that steps on the serpent’s head (cf. Gen 3:15), and husbands must do the same, as they imitate Christ.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen or experienced male passivity in the home? How should we protect our families from that?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Negative Responses to Trials

The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. (Genesis 16:7)

After Hagar is mistreated, she runs to a spring beside the road to Shur (v. 7). Shur was near the border of Egypt (cf. Gen 25:18; 1 Sam 15:7).² Hagar was running back home. That is the tendency for most when they encounter family problems. Most have a negative response instead of a positive one.

Application Question: What are some negative responses to trials in our family?

Some shut down. They bottle up their emotions and never express them.
Some lash out. They become harsh and vindictive; therefore, hurting and pushing others away.
Some become critical. They complain all the time. Solomon said a nagging wife is like a slow drip (Prov 27:15).
Some simply quit and runaway. Sadly, this is one of the more common responses in families. Divorce and separation have become acceptable responses to family conflict, and many children no longer talk to their parents. This is actually our normal response to trials. We just quit or try to remove the trial.

Application Question: What are some positive responses to trials that we should practice in our family?

1. We must persevere through difficulty.

James 1:4 says this about our response to trials: “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (NIV 2011). Scripture says that we should let trials do their perfect work in our lives. God wants to make us stronger through trials, and I believe this is true not only individually but also corporately. Families that go through pain, hardship, and discord without giving up, often become very strong families. Many times, God uses these families to help in the mentoring and healing of others.

2. We must overcome evil with good.

Roman 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Instead of responding negatively, we must bless those we are in conflict with: pray for them, serve them, and forgive them.

When going through family problems, we must avoid negative responses by persevering and overcoming evil with good. As we consider the rest of the narrative, we will see other positive responses we must practice.

Application Question: What is your common response to trials and conflict, especially with family?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Confess Our Problems to the Lord

And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I'm running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. (Genesis 16:8)

While Hagar is at the spring, the Angel of the Lord shows up and begins to speak to her. It is clear that this angel was God, since Hagar addresses him as such. Many scholars believe the Angel of the Lord was a pre-incarnate appearance of Christ. We cannot be sure of this. This conclusion is a form of biblical reasoning. Christ is the image of the invisible God (Col 1:15), and it is logical that Christ would be involved with earth’s affairs before the incarnation, just as the Holy Spirit and God the Father. Therefore, it is a logical conclusion that the Angel of the Lord was a pre-incarnate appearance of Christ.

The Angel of the Lord showed up and asked Hagar a few questions. He says in verse 8, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

When God asked these questions, clearly, since he is omniscient, he already knew the answers. He asks so that Hagar would confess the situation to him. God did the same with Adam in Genesis 3:11. He said, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”’ God already knew the answer. He just wanted Adam to confess, even as he wanted Hagar to confess. God did the same thing with Cain, when he asked where his brother, Abel, was.

This is one of the ways that we protect our families. We must be open and transparent with God. We must continually confess our problems to him. No doubt, God approaches us regularly and says, “Where have you come from and where are you going?” “What have you done?” He does this so we can confess and receive his forgiveness.

First Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

God cares, and he wants to forgive and help us. Let us confess our anxieties, wrong heart motives, and unforgiveness to him. Let us freely share our family issues. When we do this, we invite the Divine into our lives and our families’ lives.

Sadly, many people are not transparent with God and, consequently, aren’t transparent with others. Those who aren’t open with God typically aren’t open with others. Our vertical relationship always reflects our horizontal relationships, and vice versa. First John 4:20 says, “How can a person love God who he has not seen, if he does not love his brother who he has seen.” If a man doesn’t love his brother, how can he love God? Our horizontal always reflects our vertical. You can be sure that families that hide their problems and never confess or ask for prayer from others, will not faithfully do so with God.

Are you confessing your problems and that of your family to the Lord? This is one of the ways we protect our family.

Application Question: What are major hindrances to confessing and bringing our problems to God and others?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Submit to the Lord, Understanding that It Leads to Blessing

Then the angel of the LORD told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.” The angel of the LORD also said to her: “You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the LORD has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.” (Genesis 16:9–12)

After Hagar told God that she ran away from Sarah, the Lord commands her to go back and submit to her mistress. Often people don’t confess their problems, sins, or discord to God because they don’t want to submit to God’s guidance.

Yes, Hagar had been abused and the home was unhealthy, but God still calls her to go back and submit. God then tells her that she will have descendants too numerous to count, and that she will have a son, named Ishmael, who would be a wild donkey of a man. This metaphor pictures his free spirit and his rebellion, as his hand would be against everyone.

This is true for us as well. One of the ways we protect our family and also receive God’s blessing is by submitting to his will for our lives. We learn what his will is through the study of Scripture, prayer, the counsel of the saints, and God’s providence over events. And when we know, we must submit to it.

Application Question: In what ways does God often call us to submit to him in the midst of a family conflict or difficulty?

1. Submitting to God’s will could mean forgiving a family member who hurt us.

Many miss God’s best because of unforgiveness. They don’t want to forgive, which hinders God’s blessings including spiritual growth and healing in their family. In order for Hagar to go home and receive God’s best, she had to forgive.

2. Submitting to God’s will could mean submitting to family members, even when they are wrong or unjust.

Even though God established the husband as the family’s authority, we all are to submit to one another in love. Right before calling wives to submit to their husbands, Paul says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). Even an authority can humbly submit to someone under them. I think that’s what Christ did when he washed his disciples’ feet. He was serving them.

Many times God will call you submit to another to resolve family conflict or problems. We must humble ourselves before one another in obedience to God.

3. Submitting to God’s will could mean faithfully enduring a difficult situation or relationship.

Hagar doesn’t have any assurance that things will get better with Sarah, even though God promised to bless her descendants. However, she was still called to go back and submit. Many times that is God’s will for us. He calls us to persevere while understanding perseverance leads to his blessing. Consider the following Scriptures:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:4)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (1 Peter 5:6)

Submitting to God will ultimately lead to blessing, if we do not give up.

Application Question: In what ways has God called you to submit to his will in a family discord or a difficulty? How have you seen submission with perseverance lead to blessing?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Remember that God Sees and Cares

She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered. So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael. (Genesis 16:13–16)

After God speaks to Hagar and calls her to return, Hagar gave God a name. She said, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (v. 13). She then names a well, Beer Lahai Roi, after him.

The reason she names the well is so that she will always remember her encounter with the Angel of the Lord. When she calls him, “the God who sees me,” she is reflecting on more than God’s omniscience. God sees and knows everybody. She is reflecting on God’s care for her.

And this is something we must do as well. While in family conflict and difficulties, we must remember that God sees and cares; he has good plans for his children. If we don’t realize this, we will be prone to get angry at God or others and quit. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Our God cares so much that he works all things for our good, including family conflict. We never leave his protecting eyes. We must remember this, even as Hagar sought to remember it. God knows the number of hairs on our head (Luke 12:7), and he puts our tears in a bottle (Ps 56:8, ESV). He sees us and is involved, even when we are unaware. We must take comfort in this.

Application Question: In what ways does the love and omniscience of God comfort and encourage you? How can we practice remembering his faithfulness in the midst of difficulties?

Conclusion

How do we protect our family from spiritual attack and the severe consequences of sin?

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Influence of Culture
To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Enemy’s Common Attack through Intimate Relationships
To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Spiritual Blindness from Unconfessed Sin
To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Male Passivity
To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Negative Responses to Trials
To Protect Our Family, We Must Confess Our Problems to the Lord
To Protect Our Family, We Must Submit to the Lord, Understanding that It Leads to Blessing
To Protect Our Family, We Must Remember that God Sees and Cares

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 1113–1116). Tyndale

House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

² Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 241). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Appendix 3: Walking the Romans Road

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How can a person be saved? From what is he saved? How can someone have eternal life? Scripture teaches that after death each person will spend eternity either in heaven or hell. How can a person go to heaven?

Paul said this to Timothy:

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:14-15)

One of the reasons God gave us Scripture is to make us wise for salvation. This means that without it nobody can know how to be saved.

Well then, how can a people be saved and what are they being saved from? A common method of sharing the good news of salvation is through the Romans Road. One of the great themes, not only of the Bible, but specifically of the book of Romans is salvation. In Romans, the author, Paul, clearly details the steps we must take in order to be saved.

How can we be saved? What steps must we take?

Step One: We Must Accept that We Are Sinners

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” What does it mean to sin? The word sin means “to miss the mark.” The mark we missed is looking like God. When God created mankind in the Genesis narrative, he created man in the “image of God” (1:27). The “image of God” means many things, but probably, most importantly it means we were made to be holy just as he is holy. Man was made moral. We were meant to reflect God’s holiness in every way: the way we think, the way we talk, and the way we act. And any time we miss the mark in these areas, we commit sin.

Furthermore, we do not only sin when we commit a sinful act such as: lying, stealing, or cheating. Again, we sin anytime we have a wrong heart motive. The greatest commandments in Scripture are to “Love God with all our heart, mind, and soul and to love others as ourselves” (Matt 22:36-40, paraphrase). Whenever we don’t love God supremely and love others as ourselves, we sin and fall short of the glory of God. For this reason, man is always in a state of sinning. Sadly, even if our actions are good, our heart is bad. I have never loved God with my whole heart, mind, and soul and neither has anybody else. Therefore, we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23). We have all missed the mark of God’s holiness and we must accept this.

What’s the next step?

Step Two: We Must Understand We Are Under the Judgment of God

Why are we under the judgment of God? It is because of our sins. Scripture teaches God is not only a loving God, but he is a just God. And his justice requires judgment for each of our sins. Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death.”

A wage is something we earn. Every time we sin, we earn the wage of death. What is death? Death really means separation. In physical death, the body is separated from the spirit, but in spiritual death, man is separated from God. Man currently lives in a state of spiritual death (cf. Eph 2:1-3). We do not love God, obey him, or know him as we should. Therefore, man is in a state of death.

Moreover, one day at our physical death, if we have not been saved, we will spend eternity separated from God in a very real hell. In hell, we will pay the wage for each of our sins. Therefore, in hell people will experience various degrees of punishment (cf. Lk 12:47-48). This places man in a very dangerous predicament—unholy and therefore under the judgment of God.

How should we respond to this? This leads us to our third step.

Step Three: We Must Recognize God Has Invited All to Accept His Free Gift of Salvation

Romans 6:23 does not stop at the wages of sin being death. It says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Because God loved everybody on the earth, he offered the free gift of eternal life, which anyone can receive through Jesus Christ.

Because it is a gift, it cannot be earned. We cannot work for it. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Going to church, being baptized, giving to the poor, or doing any other righteous work does not save. Salvation is a gift that must be received from God. It is a gift that has been prepared by his effort alone.

How do we receive this free gift?

Step Four: We Must Believe Jesus Christ Died for Our Sins and Rose from the Dead

If we are going to receive this free gift, we must believe in God’s Son, Jesus Christ. Because God loved us, cared for us, and didn’t want us to be separated from him eternally, he sent his Son to die for our sins. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Similarly, John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have eternal life.” God so loved us that he gave his only Son for our sins.

Jesus Christ was a real, historical person who lived 2,000 years ago. He was born of a virgin. He lived a perfect life. He was put to death by the Romans and the Jews. And he rose again on the third day. In his death, he took our sins and God’s wrath for them and gave us his perfect righteousness so we could be accepted by God. Second Corinthians 5:21 says, “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” God did all this so we could be saved from his wrath.

Christ’s death satisfied the just anger of God over our sins. When God saw Jesus on the cross, he saw us and our sins and therefore judged Jesus. And now, when God sees those who are saved, he sees his righteous Son and accepts us. In salvation, we have become the righteousness of God.

If we are going to be saved, if we are going to receive this free gift of salvation, we must believe in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection for our sins (cf. 1 Cor 15:3-5, Rom 10:9-10). Do you believe?

Step Five: We Must Confess Christ as Lord of Our Lives

Romans 10:9-10 says,

That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Not only must we believe, but we must confess Christ as Lord of our lives. It is one thing to believe in Christ but another to follow Christ. Simple belief does not save. Christ must be our Lord. James said this: “Even the demons believe and shudder” (James 2:19) but the demons are not saved—Christ is not their Lord.

Another aspect of making Christ Lord is repentance. Repentance really means a change of mind that leads to a change of direction. Before we met Christ, we were living our own life and following our own sinful desires. But when we get saved, our mind and direction change. We start to follow Christ as Lord.

How do we make this commitment to the lordship of Christ so we can be saved? Paul said we must confess with our mouth “Jesus is Lord” as we believe in him. Romans 10:13 says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

If you admit that you are a sinner and understand you are under God’s wrath because of them; if you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, that he died on the cross for your sins, and rose from the dead for your salvation; if you are ready to turn from your sin and cling to Christ as Lord, you can be saved.

If this is your heart, then you can pray this prayer and commit to following Christ as your Lord.

Dear heavenly Father, I confess I am a sinner and have fallen short of your glory, what you made me for. I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins and rose from the dead so I can have eternal life. I am turning away from my sin and accepting you as my Lord and Savior. Come into my life and change me. Thank you for your gift of salvation.

Scripture teaches that if you truly accepted Christ as your Lord, then you are a new creation. Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” God has forgiven your sins (1 John 1:9), he has given you his Holy Spirit (Rom 8:15), and he is going to disciple you and make you into the image of his Son (cf. Rom 8:29). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5), and he will complete the work he has begun in your life (Phil 1:6). In heaven, angels and saints are rejoicing because of your commitment to Christ (Lk 15:7).

Praise God for his great salvation! May God keep you in his hand, empower you through the Holy Spirit, train you through mature believers, and use you to build his kingdom! “The one who calls you is faithful, he will do it” (1 Thess 5:24). God bless you!

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

Appendix 2: Reflection Questions

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Writing is one of the best ways to learn. In class, we take notes and write papers, and all these methods are used to help us learn and retain the material. The same is true with the Word of God. Obviously, all of the authors of Scripture were writers. This helped them better learn the Scriptures and also enabled them to more effectively teach it. In studying God’s Word with the Bible Teacher’s Guide, take time to write so you can similarly grow both in your learning and teaching.

How would you summarize the main points of the text/chapter? Write a brief summary.
What stood out to you most in the reading? Did any of the contents trigger any memories or experiences? If so, please share them.
What follow–up questions do you have about the reading? Are there parts you do not fully agree with?
What applications did you take from the reading, and how do you plan to implement them in your life?
Write several goals: As a result of my time studying God’s Word, I aspire to . . .
What are some practical ways to pray as a result of studying the text? Spend some time in prayer.

15. Finding a Godly Mate (Genesis 24)

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Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.” The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?” “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. “The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. Then he prayed, “O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I'll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.… (Genesis 24)

How can one find a godly mate?

In Genesis 24, we witness Abraham’s search for Isaac’s wife. He doesn’t actually conduct the search himself, but commissions his chief servant to do it. We don’t know for sure who the servant was because he is unnamed, but this was most likely Eliezer, who is mentioned in Genesis 15:2. He had previously been Abraham’s heir, before Abraham had a son. Eliezer’s selflessness is demonstrated as he served Isaac, even though he had lost his inheritance to him.

Genesis 24 is the longest chapter in Genesis, and from it we learn a great deal about finding a godly mate. Yes, in this ancient culture marriages were arranged for young people by their parents for "practical" reasons. Today, young people generally choose their own marriage partners, and do so based largely on “romantic” reasons. However, we can discern from this text that God is not bound by culture. He is involved in the selection of godly mates in any culture. Proverbs 19:14 says, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” He is the one who made and chose Eve for Adam, and he wants to guide our selection of mates today, if we will allow him. Sometimes in Scripture God tells us what to do, but other times he gives us principles to guide us. As we consider Genesis 24, we learn many great principles about finding a godly mate.

Big Question: What principles can we learn about finding a godly mate from Genesis 24?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Be Committed to God and His Purposes

In the narrative, we see that Abraham was well advanced in age when he calls for his chief servant to go and find a spouse for Isaac. Maybe the fact that Abraham had just lost his wife, Sarah, and his ever-increasing age reminded Abraham of his need to find Isaac a wife. Isaac was also getting older. He was probably in his forties at this time.¹

As we consider the servant’s commission, we cannot but notice that Abraham’s motivation was God and fulfilling his purpose. He quotes God’s promise of giving the land to his seed: “‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there” (v. 7). Typically, ancient marriages were arranged to increase one’s wealth and status. Marriages were often used as contracts between families or between nations. A pretty daughter was often seen as a meal ticket for a poor family. However, Abraham’s concern was not wealth, status, or finding a beautiful bride. God had told Abraham that through Isaac’s seed a nation would be born, and through a seed from this nation all the nations would be blessed. Isaac’s marriage was crucial to the fulfillment of this promise.

Therefore, Abraham had his chief servant swear to not take a bride from Canaan. The Canaanites were a sinful people, and God said that once their sins were full, he would give Israel the land (Gen 15:16). Abraham knew that it was imperative for his descendants to stay separate from the Canaanites and their ungodly influence.

When the chief servant asked questions about the process, Abraham reiterated the need to keep Isaac apart from Canaan:

“Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. “The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” Genesis 24:4–8

Abraham said that even if the woman would not come back with his servant, Isaac should not move to Haran. Abraham knew that God had called for his offspring to inherit Canaan. In the process of seeking a mate, Abraham was primarily concerned about God and his purposes. He also declared confidently that God would guide the process. He would send his angel to guide his servant.

Similarly, when seeking a godly mate, God’s purposes and his will must guide the process. Yes, a mate may seem like a need, but the primary need is doing God’s will and completing the work he called one to do. This work will be greatly affected by the person one marries. Solomon married pagan wives, and they led him away from God’s will and into idolatry.

It has been said that the most important decision that people make after following Christ is whom they will marry. This is because one’s spouse will play an integral role in their completing God’s work. When God gave Adam a wife, his purpose was for them to tend the garden, rule the earth, and subdue it.

God has a similar purpose for marriages today. Scripture implies that marriage is a spiritual gift and therefore meant to build up the body of Christ and spread God’s kingdom. Consider what Paul said about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:7:

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others. (The Message)

Scripture teaches that marriage is a spiritual gift just like singleness. Therefore, God’s purpose in marriage is to build his kingdom, just as it was with Adam and Eve in the garden.

As in Abraham’s day, many factors can guide the selection of a mate: loneliness, friends, family, wealth, social status, shame, lust, and beauty, among others. However, our purpose in finding a mate (and thus marriage) must be to fulfill God’s will and to build his kingdom. That was Abraham’s purpose. When God and his kingdom are one’s purpose in marriage, Scripture says that God will guide the process. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

What is your primary purpose in seeking a mate? Is it removing loneliness, achieving status, having children, or fulfilling your lust?

Abraham’s purpose was to fulfill God’s will and that must be one’s primary purpose as well. When God and his kingdom are first, he guides the steps. Certainly, Matthew 6:33 can be applied to the pursuit of a godly mate: “Seek first the kingdom of heaven and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Those who put God and his kingdom first will be guided by him.

Again, Proverbs 19:14 says, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” God wants to guide your process of finding a mate because he has a kingdom to build. Will you let him guide it?

Application Question: What are some common motivations for seeking a marriage partner? Is building God’s kingdom your main purpose in seeking a mate or being married? Why or why not?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek the Counsel of Parents and Godly Mentors

Another principle we can learn from the process of finding a spouse for Isaac is the need to have parents and godly mentors involved. Arranged marriages were the norm in ancient cultures, as it still is in many parts of the world. God may not be calling you to allow your parents or spiritual mentors to pick your spouse; however, a wise person will keep them highly involved in the process.

Abraham and his chief servant were leading this process on behalf of Abraham's son, Isaac. Abraham was a man of great faith and apparently, his servant was as well. In this passage, the servant becomes only the second person with a prayer recorded in Scripture, after Abraham.² Obviously, in his many years serving Abraham, he had learned a great deal.

Similarly, one should have parents and godly mentors involved in the selection of his or her mate. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” One of the problems with the modern dating culture is that it is commonly done apart from godly counsel. The two date by themselves, often without the benefit of the parents’ or godly mentors’ knowledge, wisdom, and insight. Then the two just show up one day and say, “I’m in love!” or even worse, “I’m engaged!”

The courting model is so much wiser and more prudent than the dating model. In courting, when two people are seriously considering one another as potential marriage partners, they immediately approach their parents or the church, or both, to seek their wisdom, insight, and covering. They want godly people talking with them throughout the process and also getting to know the potential mate.

This is crucial because when two people are face to face enjoying one another, they often miss major cues that could be disastrous in a marriage relationship. Also, they often lack the sexual accountability of having parents and mentors involved. As we will talk about later, sexual intimacy before marriage will greatly blind the couples, as well as remove God’s blessing from the courtship. Only the pure in heart will see God (Matt 5:8).

Now certainly some may not have Christian parents or they may live far away. In that case, they should pray and seek the guidance and oversight of spiritually mature married couples, small group leaders, or mentors. For lack of guidance, plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Who are your many advisers? Also, for those who are married, are you willing to mentor a young couple so they can have success and protection in the dating process?

Application Question: Why is it important to have parents and mentors involved in the process of finding a mate? Who would you ask to help guide your process? If asked, how would you help mentor someone while dating or courting?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Be Realistic and Submit to God’s Sovereignty throughout the Process

“The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” (Genesis 24:7–8)

While talking with Abraham, the chief servant brought up the possibility of the woman not wanting to return to Canaan. Abraham replied that God would send his angel before the servant to guide the process, but then he said, “If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine” (v. 8).

In seeking a mate, one must be realistic and trust God’s sovereignty over the process. Sometimes, young people seek the Lord’s guidance in dating or courting and they feel God’s peace throughout the process. But when God allows a break-up or some difficulty to happen, they question or get mad at God. Seeking God’s guidance does not necessarily mean you will find your mate the first time you date somebody or go through a courtship. Sometimes, God will allow failure or make it clear late in the process that the person is not the one for you.

This is not a reason to get mad at God. It is a time to praise and trust him. We must praise him because he knows best. Sometimes, by ending the relationship, he protects the couple from something potentially hazardous, and certainly, we can trust that he is preparing them for something better. In addition, we must realize that God’s focus is on our character. Many times, he allows seasonal relationships to reveal character issues and to draw people to seek him more. He allows them to help people grow, even though they might not last for a lifetime.

Abraham declared that God would guide the process, but he also recognized the possibility that God might choose to not bless it. Similarly, we must trust God’s sovereignty as well. Again, many become angry and upset with God in the process of seeking a mate, because it doesn’t happen as fast as they want or because of failed relationships. We must be realistic and trust God’s sovereignty throughout the process.

This also amplifies the reason why couples must be holy and pure throughout the process. Scripture says that we should treat people in the church as brothers and sisters with all purity (1 Tim 5:2). When you handle dating relationships in that fashion, it eliminates a lot of emotional and physical baggage often picked up in ungodly relationships. In the dating or courtship process, couples must protect themselves by staying pure, especially since God may have somebody else for them. In order to find a godly mate, one must be realistic about the process and trust God’s sovereignty.

Application Question: Why is it so important to be realistic about the process and trust God’s sovereignty when seeking a mate? Why would God allow failures in the courtship process? How have you experienced failure and disappointment in the courtship process and what did you learn from it?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Understand How Difficult It Might Be

So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. (Genesis 24:9–10)

When seeking a mate for Isaac, the chief servant was told to go to the town of Nahor. Many eligible bachelorettes lived in Canaan, and it would have been relatively easy to marry one of them. However, that wouldn’t have been God’s best for Isaac. It would have opened the door for compromise in his life and endangered the promise. The alternative, however, was much more difficult. The servant had to travel one month and over 500 miles through rough and dangerous terrain to find the spouse God had for Isaac.³ And then he needed to convince her to leave home and family to marry a guy whom she had never met.

Similarly, in seeking a godly spouse, the easiest route is usually not God’s path. Many Christians, because they are lonely and can’t find a godly mate, often go to the same places as the world to find one. There are many nice Canaanite men and women and also some nice worldly Christians. Numerous are the temptations to take the easy route instead of waiting for and seeking a godly mate.

To find a godly mate, it will often mean waiting while God prepares one’s character for a godly mate. It will also often mean waiting because godly mates are so hard to find. Proverbs says,

Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? (Proverbs 20:6)

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:29–30)

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10)

There are a lot of men who claim unfailing love, but it’s hard to find a faithful man. There are many women who do noble things, but a woman who fears God is to be praised. These types of people are like precious jewels; they are hard to find, and therefore, many times waiting is necessary. In this waiting, sometimes people get discouraged and anxious, then they commonly take things into their own hands. Like Abraham, who became anxious while waiting on the child of promise, they go and find a Hagar to fulfill their desires. Many believers compromise and miss God’s best for them. Sometimes they marry an unbeliever, or they marry a spiritually lethargic believer.

Are you willing to take the hard journey instead of the easy one? The benefits are priceless and last a lifetime.

Application Question: What makes the road to finding a godly mate so difficult at times? How would you encourage a lonely Christian to not compromise?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Put Himself in a Position to Find a Mate

The next principle one must apply in seeking a godly mate is putting oneself in a position to find him or her. Abraham’s chief servant left Canaan, which had a reputation for being ungodly, and traveled to Abraham’s hometown to find a mate. Before leaving, he made preparations for finding a marriage partner for Isaac. By taking ten camels—the Bentleys or Lamborghinis of ancient days—he was proving that his master was wealthy and that the woman would be well provided for. He also brought many of the master’s goods, which were necessary to pay the bride’s dowry. He then went to a well outside of town in the evening, when the women drew water (v.11). He put himself in a position to find a mate.

Often in the church an emphasis is put on trusting God for a mate, but sometimes this emphasis leads towards inactivity. In order to find a mate for Isaac, the chief servant took valuables to prove his master’s ability to provide, traveled to Abraham’s hometown, and went to a location with eligible women. He put himself in a position to find Isaac’s spouse.

Similarly, it is not unspiritual to be active. God did not send a godly mate to Isaac’s door. Isaac was not called to just wait and pray; he had to be active. With that said, the most important thing in putting oneself in a position to find a mate is being intimate with God and knowing his will. For one person, God’s will may be to just wait and pray patiently. We have no evidence that Rebekah was seeking a husband. She was just being faithful where God placed her. However, for Isaac, the chief servant went to a place where he was more likely to find a godly woman. Single believers seeking mates must do the same.

Application Question: How can a person put him or herself in a position to find a godly mate?

1. A person must be financially prepared.

In Genesis 2:24, it says that the man must leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. One of the implications of this is that a couple should be financially independent. In this narrative, the chief servant brought wealth so the family could see that Isaac could provide. Isaac was financially prepared to marry.

When considering marriage, one must remember that there is a time for everything. A flower that blooms in the winter dies. In the same way, many relationships don’t work simply because of timing. One must ask, “Is it the right time to seek a mate?” “Am I financially ready to take care of somebody or to be married?” “How can I place myself in a position to contribute or provided for a household?”

These are practical questions. I remember when God started to put in my heart a desire to soon be married. I moved out of the apartment I shared with several roommates, and got an apartment by myself. After moving in, I started to prepare my home by getting basic furniture, kitchenware, etc.

Previously, as a bachelor, working and going to school, my housing was simply functional. I just slept, studied, and ate there. But, when I realized that God was calling me to start looking at marriage, I started preparing. Now, when God brought me a mate, she didn’t like anything I had, but at least I had something for our humble beginnings.

2. A person must wisely go to a place where he or she might find a potential godly mate.

There is a time for waiting. Many of God’s promises come by waiting as he prepares us—as well as those who will also take part in the promise. However, there is a time to be active, and we must discern that. Being active could mean praying, getting godly counsel, and discerning where to look. It also could mean asking someone out to coffee.

You probably won’t find a godly mate at the bars or clubs. But, there is a good chance God might provide one at church, small group, or through some ministry. If the wells have dried up at the church or ministry you attend, then maybe God is calling you to be creative. Being creative could include asking spiritually-minded people you know and respect to pray and consider suggesting a potential mate, or even joining a Christian dating site. Again, it must be heard that it is not disobedient to be active. Many times, it is disobedient or presumptuous to not be active. We should pray and discern what God wants us to do. For Rebekah, she waited and faithfully served God and others. For Isaac, his servant went to an area with eligible ladies.

How is God calling you to prepare for and seek a godly mate or to help others do so?

Application Question: How would you counsel a single person who feels called to actively pursue a mate? Where would you recommend him or her to go? How can a person discern if they should wait like Rebekah or be active like Isaac in the pursuit of a mate? If you already found your mate, where and how did you meet them?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Bathe the Process in Prayer

Then he prayed, “O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I'll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” (Genesis 24:12–14)

When the chief servant reached the well, he began to pray. Again, this is one of the earliest recorded prayers in the Bible. The servant prayed for God to show kindness to Abraham and that he would essentially make it very clear whom the woman was.

This is not the only prayer in this chapter. Right after God confirmed that Rebekah was the one, he bowed down and worshiped God (v. 26). Then after the parents confirmed that they would give Rebekah to Isaac as a bride, he bowed down and worshiped again (v. 52). When Rebekah was about to leave her parents’ house, her family prayed a blessing over her that she would increase to thousands upon thousands (v. 60)—resembling God’s blessing on Abraham. This entire process was bathed with prayer.

Similarly, since a godly spouse is a gift of the Lord, one must continually bathe the process in prayer. I spent two years at a Christian school while in fifth and sixth grade. During that I time, I was taught to pray for my future spouse. From that point on till I was twenty-seven years old, when I met my wife, I had always prayed for her. In fact, after I got married and told my wife about my prayers, she shared all the ways she experienced divine protection and grace, which didn’t make sense to her at the time. She didn’t become a Christian until she was a senior in high school, but throughout that time God protected her purity, among other things.

If one is going to find a godly mate, the process must be bathed in prayer.

Application Question: Why is it important to continually pray over your future spouse and also for God to guide the process of finding the person? When should people start praying for their future spouse or their child’s future spouse?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Person of High Character

See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I'll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” (Genesis 24:13–14)

Interpretation Question: What does Rebekah’s giving a drink of water to the servant and to his ten camels say about her character?

While the chief servant prayed for God to make it clear who Isaac’s wife was, he set some very high standards. He asked God to make it clear by allowing her to respond to his request for water by saying, “‘Drink, and I'll water your camels too” and her fulfilling this commitment. Now, this seems like a random request to try to confirm a spouse, but it was not.

No doubt, this chief servant knew exactly what it took to be a good spouse because these actions would show a very high character in this woman. For a woman to agree to share some water with a foreigner would show that she was nice, but it would not have been an uncommon character trait. There are a lot of nice people in the world. But for this lady to agree to water his ten camels would have been highly unlikely, and would show extraordinary character. Kent Hughes’ comments about this unlikely scenario are helpful:

To grasp what a wonder this was, we must understand that the ancient well was a large, deep hole in the earth with steps leading down to the spring water—so that each drawing of water required substantial effort. And more, a camel typically would drink about twenty-five gallons of water, and an ancient water jar held about three gallons of water. This means that Rebekah made between eighty to one hundred descents into the well. As to the amount of time she gave to this, a camel takes about ten minutes to drink its full complement of water. Rebekah’s labors filled one and one half to two sweaty hours! And all the while the servant watched without saying a word, to see whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.⁴

The servant’s qualifying test was almost two hours of very difficult labor which would have shown great things about this lady. First, it revealed that she was a very hard worker. When looking for a potential spouse, find somebody that works hard. When Solomon writes about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, that is one of her characteristics—she works hard. She takes care of the children; she oversees the servants in the house; she makes clothes; she is a business woman; she serves her husband. And best of all she is a woman of integrity who loves the Lord. When seeking a godly mate, find somebody who works hard at whatever God calls them to do. Laziness only brings conflict and discord in a home, because a home takes hard work to keep.

Rebekah’s act of kindness also showed selflessness. The root of almost all marital difficulty is selfishness. Two people selfishly fighting for their own rights will cause conflict and discord. But a selfless, sacrificial person, the kind who would joyfully serve a stranger for two hours, without complaint, will make a great marriage partner.

When seeking a mate, one should seek a person of high character. It is not about how much money one makes, how many degrees one earned, or how attractive he or she is. The most attractive qualities must be his or her character. Consider what God said about women who are like Sarah, Abraham’s wife, in 1 Peter 3:3–5:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands ….

In talking about women, he says what makes them beautiful is the “inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” The word gentle can also be translated “meek.” Meek really means “power under control.” Instead of using their power to get their own way, they serve people. Instead of being angry at those who mistreat them, they are gentle in response. They use their power to honor God. God says that type of character makes a person beautiful. In seeking a mate, pursue a person with high character.

Application Question: What are other character traits that one should seek in a potential mate? If you have found your mate, what character traits drew you to him or her?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Observe the Potential Mate Carefully

Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.” “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, “I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful. (Genesis 24:15–21)

Before the servant finished praying, Rebekah, who was Abraham’s niece, went down to the spring to fill her jar of water. When she came up from the spring, the servant asked for a drink. Rebekah immediately gave him a drink and then said that she would also water his camels. In Genesis 24:21, it says that the servant “watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.” He doesn’t say a word; he just watches.

Similarly, when seeking a mate, a person must also watch the potential mate very closely. In considering Rebekah, one might say, “Well, does watering camels really say something about her fitness for marriage?” Absolutely, it does. Scripture teaches that if a person is faithful with little, he will be faithful with much. If he is unfaithful with little, he will be unfaithful with much (cf. Lk 16:10).

A wise person must survey and watch the potential mate very closely because little things say a lot. How does he treat people who disappoint him? Is he gentle in his response or does he become very upset? How does she handle her money? How does she respond to trials? How does she treat her parents? How does he take care of his possessions? As mentioned before, what is his or her work-ethic like?

All these little things say something about how the person will be within marriage. If a person is rude to those serving him at a restaurant, who he barely knows, it tells you something about how that person will eventually treat you when he isn’t having a good day. If that person is not very good with his money, then it tells you something about how he will be at providing or using the money that you both make as partners. If the person is unfaithful with little, he will be unfaithful with much—and marriage is “much”!

This reinforces the reason why it is very important to have wise mentors involved in the courtship process. They will often see things that one might miss, which could become large things in marriage.

Application Question: Why is it important to observe a potential mate carefully? Are there some especially important scenarios that one should observe and learn from?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must First Become Godly

Another principle that we can learn from Rebekah’s great service, as she served not only Abraham’s servant, but also his camels, is that in order to find a godly mate, one must first become godly. If Rebekah had not been the type of person to perform this great service, she would have missed out on the opportunity to marry Isaac.

Certainly, this happens all the time. A man is praying for a godly wife; however, he has not given himself to the cultivation of his own character. Therefore, this man continues to display character flaws that won’t attract somebody godly. How can one pray for a godly spouse, if he or she is not seeking godliness?

There is a saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” In the same way that birds of the same kind gather together, we typically draw people that are like us. If there are areas of compromise in our lives, we will attract people who are compromised. If we are zealous for the kingdom of God and to serve God’s church, we will attract people with the same values.

When God was guiding the search for Isaac’s mate, he provided a woman that had been preparing herself for years. She was a woman of great character. Great character does not come without work. A woman of great character was needed for the great calling that was on Isaac’s life. It was through Isaac’s seed that the whole earth would be blessed.

When one considers marriage, he must first begin by asking him or herself, “Am I ready for marriage? Am I the type of mate that I would want for somebody else?”

Application Question: What character trait(s) is God calling you to get rid of so he can bring you a godly mate to compliment and help fulfill his or her calling? How can we help singles with the self-evaluation process so they can be prepared for marriage?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Person Who Is Obedient to God

Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.” Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is from the LORD; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master's son, as the LORD has directed.” …. But her brother and her mother replied, “Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.” But he said to them, “Do not detain me, now that the LORD has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master.” Then they said, “Let's call the girl and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said. (Genesis 24:49–51, 55–58)

Previously, we talked about finding a person with high character; however, the greatest character trait one can find in a person is obedience to God. In the next part of the narrative, the servant arrived at the house and was welcomed by Laban, Rebekah’s older brother. The servant told the family about Abraham and Isaac and how God had blessed and guided the servant’s journey—leading him to Rebekah. When he inquired about whether the family would let her go or not, Rebekah’s mother and brother replied, “This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or other. Here is Rebekah; take her and go” (v. 51). The family could clearly sense God’s hand on this process.

After the servant spent the night, he requested to immediately leave with Rebekah to go to his master. However, the family wanted Rebekah to wait ten days before leaving. Abraham’s servant was not okay with the delay (as they could potentially change their mind in ten days). The parents then responded, “Let’s call the girl and ask her about it” (v. 57). Then we see the most remarkable character trait of Rebekah. She immediately responded, “I will go.”

This was a great act of faith. Rebekah had never met Isaac. She would have to move over 500 miles away from home. The only thing she could discern, like her parents, was that God was in this; so she immediately agreed to leave. When Rebekah did this, she placed herself on the same path that Abraham had taken. Many years earlier, Abraham, similarly, heard God’s call and left home and family to heed it. Later, God told Abraham to circumcise himself and his household, and he immediately obeyed (Gen 17). Abraham was also told to banish his son, Ishmael, and he did (Gen 21). Then God called Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, and he left for the mountain early the next morning (Gen 22). Obedience marked Abraham’s life. And, therefore, he is called the father of all those who believe (cf. Gal 3:7, Rom 4:16). Rebekah demonstrated similar faith in this narrative.

In 1 Corinthians 11:3, Paul says, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” The head of the man is Christ and the head of the woman (better translated as “wife”) is the man. The wife is supposed to submit to the man, and the man is supposed to submit to and be led by Christ. As a woman discerns her potential mate, she needs to be sure that this man is submitting to Christ. Otherwise, her home will be in disarray.

Similarly, Paul said in Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” The wife must submit to her husband as unto the Lord. When a man is discerning whom to marry, he must discern if the woman is obedient in her relationship with the Lord. If she doesn’t submit to the Lord, then she will not submit to him. It is a lesson from the greater to the lesser. If she is disobedient to God (the greater), then she will not submit to her husband (the lesser).

Therefore, for both a man seeking a wife and a woman seeking a husband, the defining characteristic they should consider is obedience to the Lord. Does this person faithfully attend church and feel called to serve the church, as God commands? Does she faithfully study the Word of God and live a life of prayer before the Lord? Is he seeking first the kingdom of heaven or is something else his priority? Obedience to God marked Rebekah, as she was just like her father-in-law, Abraham. She was obedient, even when the cost was great.

In what ways is God calling you to grow in your obedience to him? Is the potential mate you are considering living a life marked by obedience to the Lord? This is the all-important characteristic. Marriage was made by God, and if a couple doesn’t submit to God, the marriage won’t fulfill its purpose.

Application Question: Why is obedience to God so important in a potential spouse? In what ways is God calling you to grow in obedience?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Practice Sexual Purity before Marriage

Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. (Genesis 24:62–67)

After Rebekah agreed to leave with Abraham’s servant, they immediately traveled to Beer Lahai Roi, in the Negev, where Isaac lived. When the servant and Rebekah arrived, Isaac was walking in the field meditating. (Maybe, in anticipation, he was praying about his future spouse.) When Rebekah learned that this man was Isaac, she immediately put on her wedding veil, signifying that she was his bride.⁵

After Isaac heard the story of God’s faithfulness, he took Rebekah into his mother’s tent. The language implies that they consummated the marriage. There is another principle here that we should be aware of in seeking a godly mate. Couples must practice purity before marriage. Rebekah was a virgin on her wedding day (cf. 24:16) and presumably so was Isaac.

Application Question: Why is it important for a couple to wait to have sex until marriage?

This is important for many reasons:

1. Waiting to have sex before marriage is important for discerning God’s will.

Sex before marriage will hinder one’s ability to properly discern God’s will. When two people have sex, they become one flesh (cf. 1 Cor 6:16). They are attached mentally, physically, and spiritually. This is a hard tie to break, and many individuals enter a courtship still yoked to previous partners. This affects their mind and emotions and many times makes it a struggle to commit, even to the person they believe God has chosen for them. It often hinders people from being able to break up when God makes it clear that a certain person is not right for them. Again, the yoking that happens in sex creates soul-ties. The person will often then try to convince themselves (and God) that this is the right person by ignoring all their flaws. Impurity affects one’s ability to discern and obey God’s voice. Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” One must see and hear God’s voice in the process of discerning a marriage partner; again, it’s the second most important decision a person will make.

2. Waiting to have sex before marriage protects the relationship from the devil.

Impurity in a relationship opens the door for the enemy to destroy the relationship. It opens the door for the enemy to tempt with jealousy, anger, and even further promiscuity (within or outside of the relationship). First Corinthians 5:6 says, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” (ESV). Sin has a tendency to spread. Therefore, when Satan gets a doorway, he will try to destroy that relationship. Sadly, when couples open the door of impurity before marriage, it becomes almost impossible to close again. Couples must vigorously guard their relationship.

Paul said in 1 Timothy 5:1–2, “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”

How should a person in a dating or courting relationship treat their potential spouse? They should treat them as a brother or sister—with absolute purity. Practically, that means Christians should not do anything with their girlfriend or boyfriend that they would not do with their natural sibling. One should treat him or her with absolute purity.

Sadly, the church has not trained our young people well on how to date or court, so they adopt the world’s methods—opening themselves up to all kinds of temptations that destroy many relationships.

3. Waiting to have sex before marriage will increase the pleasure and joy in marriage.

Statistics say that couples who wait until marriage to have sex have better relationship outcomes.⁶ No doubt there are many reasons for this. It protects them from Satan’s attacks whether through comparison, expectations, emotional baggage, or other avenues/open doors. It also brings God’s blessings on the relationship, as the couple faithfully obeys him.

Application Question: What are some consequences of opening sexual doors before marriage? How can couples guard themselves from these temptations and consequences?

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Mate and a Marriage that Magnifies God

As we consider Isaac’s marriage, one cannot but notice how it resembles Christ and the church. Isaac is a type of Christ. He had a miraculous birth and, figuratively speaking, experienced death and resurrection (cf. Gen 22, Heb 11:19). His father sought a bride for him, even as God chose the church for Christ before creating the earth (cf. John 6:37, Eph 1:3–6). Abraham sent his chief servant to secure the bride, even as God sent the Holy Spirit to woo the church to Christ. If the chief servant was indeed Eliezer, it is notable that his name means “God of help.”⁷ In this case, it’s hard not to think of the Holy Spirit, who is called the “Helper” (cf. John 14:26, ESV). Rebekah, in obedience, left all to marry Isaac. Similarly, the church left all to marry Christ (cf. Luke 14:26–33). Isaac’s marriage is a tremendous typology.

Furthermore, every marriage really is a typology—meant to share Christ with the world. Again, Paul said this in Ephesians 5:22–32:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Marriage was always meant to reflect Christ’s relationship with the church. Even more, it was meant to reflect the triune relationship in the Godhead. First Corinthians 11:3 says, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman [or wife] is man, and the head of Christ is God.” The husband is the head of the wife, as God is the head of Christ.

Therefore, when seeking a mate, more than anything, one must ask, “Will this relationship glorify God?” The man must ask, “Am I ready to sacrifice everything for this woman like Christ did for his church? Am I ready and willing to wash her with the Word of God like Jesus does his church? Am I ready and willing to lead a family in ministry like Christ does his church? Is this woman willing to submit to me, like the church does to Christ?” The woman must ask, “Am I willing to submit to this man as I do Christ? Am I willing to submit to his will over my own? Am I willing to follow this man in ministry for the rest of my life? Is this man a spiritual leader like Christ? Will this marriage reflect and magnify God?”

Marriage is meant to reflect Christ and the church. It is meant to magnify the beauty of the Godhead. Anything less defames and dishonors God.

When seeking a mate, one must seek after somebody who wants to glorify God and build his kingdom together.

Application Question: In what ways are Christ and the church and the tri-unity of God a model for marriage? How will this model benefit a marriage and benefit those watching?

Conclusion

To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Be Committed to God and His Purposes
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek the Counsel of Parents and Godly Mentors
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Be Realistic and Submit to God’s Sovereignty throughout the Process
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Understand How Difficult It Might Be
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Put Himself in a Position to Find a Mate
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Bathe the Process in Prayer
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Person of High Character
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Observe the Potential Mate Carefully
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must First Become Godly
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Person Who Is Obedient to God
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Practice Sexual Purity before Marriage
To Find a Godly Mate, One Must Seek a Mate and a Marriage that Magnifies God

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: beginning and blessing (p. 315). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

² Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: beginning and blessing (p. 318). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

³ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Location 3302). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁴ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: beginning and blessing (p. 318). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁵ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: beginning and blessing (p. 321). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁶ Accessed 12/10/2014, from http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/fam/24/6/766/

⁷ Guzik, David (2012-12-08). Genesis (Kindle Locations 3890-3891). Enduring Word Media. Kindle Edition.

Related Topics: Christian Life, Marriage

13. How to Pass God’s Tests (Genesis 22)

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Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.” Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together. When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide… (Genesis 22)

Interpretation Question: What is the difference between a test (or a trial) and a temptation?

What are characteristics of God’s tests and how can we faithfully pass them?

As we study Abraham’s life, it is clear God brought him through many tests. In Genesis 12, he was called to leave his home and family to go to a land that God would show him. He was challenged with the family test. For many of us, leaving our family to do what God has called us to do, or doing what God has called us to do in spite of family is a difficult test.

Abraham arrived at the promised land only to find a famine. He lacked resources and had to decide whether to trust God or not. He had the famine test. In Genesis 13, Abraham’s herdsmen and Lot’s herdsmen had a conflict in the promised land. There he encountered the conflict test. In Genesis 14, he went to fight against the four armies of the east with his 300 men and a few alliances. Abraham had the warfare test.

While Abraham followed God, he faced many tests, and we will as well. James 1:2–3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

God takes us through tests to try our faith and discern its composition. Is it genuine or false? Is it weak or strong? Furthermore, since God has great plans for each of his children, tests are preparation for greater works, just as tests in school. Believers go through tests to build and strengthen their faith. Without believing in God, nothing is possible. Therefore, tests are the lot of God’s children because they must be prepared for the things God desires them to accomplish.

In this narrative, Abraham encountered a very difficult test primarily because of the great call on his life. Abraham was called to be a great nation and through his seed all nations would be blessed. Essentially, the gospel was to come through Abraham and his family. In order to fulfill this, Abraham needed to be tested and built up, and so do we.

How do we pass God’s tests? In considering this, let’s clarify that God never tempts believers to sin. James 1:13–14 says,

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.

God does not tempt anyone because he is holy and perfect; however, he does test believers. God tests his children to make their faith strong, and Satan tempts them to make it weak. In fact, I would add that whenever God tests believers, Satan always comes behind to tempt them. God tested Adam and Eve in the garden. He said, “Do not eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and if you do, you will surely die.” Then Satan came and tempted them to fail the test.

In every trial God brings, we can be sure that Satan comes behind to tempt us with our own natural desires (cf. James 1:14). Maybe, he tempts us with our desire for safety, for pleasure, or to be known and esteemed. But, he tempts us to fail God’s tests by using our natural desires within us.

How can we pass God’s tests? In Genesis 22, we learn a great deal from Abraham about passing God’s tests.

Big Question: What can we learn about passing God’s tests from the Genesis 22 narrative?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Expect Them

After God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son, Abraham did not question God or respond with shock or anger, he just went to bed and the next day obeyed. In contrast with previous narratives, Abraham often dialogued with God.

In Genesis 15:1, God showed up to Abraham and said, “I am your shield, your very great reward.” Abraham replied, “‘O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?’ … ‘You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir’” (v. 2–3). This is not a man who is afraid to converse with God, especially when he doesn’t understand or agree.

In Genesis 17:18, when God told Abraham that he was going to have a son in his old age with Sarah, he responded by requesting a blessing over Ishmael. He said, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” Abraham essentially said, “What about Ishmael?”

In Genesis 18, when God told Abraham he was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, where Lot lived, Abraham immediately responded by questioning and petitioning God. Genesis 18:23–25 says,

The word “approached” in Genesis 18:23 was used of a lawyer about to plead his case. Abraham went before God and pleaded Sodom and Gomorrah’s case. He, in humility, challenged the Lord’s righteousness. He essentially said, “Lord, you are righteous, you will not do such a thing.” However, when God called Abraham to sacrifice his own son, he said nothing.

I think he had learned to expect tests from God and also to trust him. Since Abraham began following God, he experienced many tests and for each one God showed himself faithful, even when Abraham wasn’t faithful. When Abraham lied to Pharaoh and Abimelech about his wife, each time God protected him and his wife. Abraham knew God was faithful, and he had learned to trust him.

With that said, one of things that we must learn if we are going to pass God’s tests is to expect them. As a general rule, if we take a test without knowing about it, we typically fail.

And, to be honest, many believers fail God’s tests, in part, by not expecting them. They get mad at God. They are shocked by the difficulty they encountered. Some even fall away from God when tests come.

In Matthew 13:20–21, the Parable of the Sower, Jesus describes people who receive the Word of God on stony ground. They receive it with joy, but when trouble or persecution comes they quickly fall away. The implication is that these people weren’t expecting it and, therefore, weren’t prepared.

Peter said this to Christians suffering for their faith in the Roman Empire: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Pet 4:12). He said don’t be surprised and don’t think it’s strange. Essentially, he says, “Expect it.”

James 1:2 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” James doesn’t say “if” you face trials of many kinds but “whenever” you face trials of many kinds. We should expect them.

The Christian life is a series of trials and tests because these reveal and strengthen our faith. If we are going to pass God’s tests, we must expect them. They are part of life.

Application Question: What is your typical response to a trial? How can you respond better?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand God Already Prepared Us

The next thing we must understand about passing God’s test is that God has already prepared us. Now, as we read this narrative on Abraham, we cannot but notice the similarity to what happened in the previous chapter. In Genesis 21, Isaac was a toddler, and the family celebrated his weaning. During this celebration, Abraham’s other son, Ishmael, stood at a distance and mocked Isaac. In Galatians 4:29, Paul actually says he “persecuted” him.

When Sarah saw this, she became angry and told Abraham to throw Hagar and Ishmael out, for the son of the slave woman would not share the inheritance of her son, Isaac. The text said this greatly distressed Abraham (Gen 21:11). He loved his son. However, God spoke to Abraham and comforted him. He told Abraham to let him go, that God’s presence would be with Ishmael, and that Ishmael would become a nation (v. 12–13). Therefore, Abraham let his son go.

Now only a chapter later, God asks for Abraham’s other son. With Ishmael, Abraham could send him away because he knew that God was faithful and that he would provide for him. And now, in this narrative, probably well over ten years later, Abraham had watched God’s faithfulness with his son Ishmael. He married and God was prospering him, which only further confirmed Abraham’s faith. Abraham had been trained, not only because of that test, but because of many previous tests.

This is true for us, as well. God never takes us through a test that he has not prepared us for. That wouldn’t be fair. Why give his children tests they couldn’t pass? He only gives what we can handle by his grace. Consider 1 Corinthians 10:13,

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

God is faithful; he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and with the temptation he always provides away to “stand up” or bear it. I cannot but think of the disciples right before Christ went to the cross. John 18:7–9 describes the events:

Again he asked them, “Who is it you want?” And they said, “Jesus of Nazareth.” “I told you that I am he,” Jesus answered. “If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me.” (John 18:7–9)

Why did Christ ask the soldiers who they wanted? It was because he was protecting his disciples. They were not yet ready to be martyrs, and he was making sure none of them would ultimately turn away from him. He was keeping their faith.

God does the same with us. He only puts us into trials he has prepared us for. Now, we still have to make use of that preparation. We must use the resources God gave us in the church—godly counsel and mentors. We must continually discipline ourselves unto godliness by studying Scripture, prayer, and serving (cf. 1 Tim 4:7). We must also flee from all appearance of evil as he has taught us (1 Thess 5:22). In doing this, we put on the armor of God to stand against spiritual attacks (Eph 6:10–13). If we fail the test, it is not for lack of preparation or resources. God has given us everything needed for life and godliness (cf. 2 Pet 1:3).

The trial may seem like too much, but if we look back over previous tests encountered and teachings received, he has prepared us to faithfully stand. We must take comfort in this, as we go through tests. He is a loving father who never allows us to encounter something we are unprepared for.

Application Question: As you consider the various tests you’ve encountered, how can you see God’s faithful preparation for these tests?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand They Will Often Seem Illogical

As we consider the Lord’s command, it must have seemed illogical to Abraham, as it may to us. God promised Abraham that Isaac would become a great nation and all nations would be blessed through him (cf. Gen 12:1–3, 21:12). How could this happen if Abraham sacrificed Isaac?

Interestingly, “to an ancient Middle Easterner, ‘burnt offering’ suggested a process: first cutting the offering’s throat, then dismemberment, and then a sacrifice by fire in which the body parts were completely consumed on the altar.”¹ How could Abraham even bare this image? And, how could this fit with the Lord’s previous promises? It must have clearly sounded illogical to Abraham.

No doubt, many times in our lives, the tests God allowed us to go through, at least at first, didn’t make any sense. We asked ourselves these types of questions, “Why would God allow me to go through this?” “Why did this happen to my friend or my family member?” God’s tests often are confusing.

For Abraham, sacrificing one’s son to a deity was not foreign to his worldview. This was common to the Canaanite religions. The people sacrificed children to appease their gods (cf. Lev 18:21, 24). Maybe, Abraham reasoned to himself, “If the pagan gods are worthy of such affection, then most certainly it must be true of my God.” We can only speculate.

Abraham did not have the benefit of the progressive revelation that God has given us in Scripture. In the Mosaic law, human sacrifice was clearly forbidden. Again, this must have been very confusing and difficult for Abraham, as it is for us to understand. I’m not sure one can give a fully satisfying answer to the morality of God’s command. However, with that said, we can say that God is all wise and all just. Therefore, his will is always perfect. Secondly, we can also, unequivocally, say that this is nothing God would ever require today. It is clearly forbidden throughout Scripture.

But the point remains the same; many times God’s tests will be a logical struggle for us. We must take comfort in the fact that God is infinite and that we are finite. He knows all things and our insight is limited at best. Consider what God said in Isaiah 55:8–10:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God’s ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. His thoughts and ways are higher than ours, and we must take great comfort in this. And for that reason, we must, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

We must trust him with all our heart because our understanding is flawed and there is no better guide or leader than him. Unless we do that, God’s tests and trials will lead us to bitterness, anger, frustration, and confusion, instead of a deeper trust in his faithfulness. Lord, we trust you.

Application Question: Have you ever experienced or witnessed a test that seemed illogical, at least at first? How can we trust God at those times?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand They Often Involve Our Greatest Treasures

Next, we must notice that God’s test potentially involved Abraham’s greatest treasure—his only son. As a father, I can say that the most sensitive and vulnerable area in my life is my daughter. I remember when she was a toddler, I would often go to bed at night praying over her feet, toes, and head. I wanted God to protect every part of her body. I got scared when seeing doors. Just the reality that her finger could get caught in a door frightened me. It is very common for children to take this special place in a parent’s heart.

In fact, I cannot but wonder if Abraham’s affection for his son took a dangerous place in his heart. He wanted a child with Sarah, probably, ever since he was married. His previous name, Abram, meant “exalted father.” As he started to age, the snickers around him probably increased. His name meant exalted father, but he had no children. And for a time, after God named him “Abraham,” meaning “father of a nation,” at ninety-nine years old, maybe the snickers turned into roars. People probably said, “You’re changing your name to what? Why? Sarah, your wife is barren!”

Therefore, when God gave him a miracle child at the age of 100, maybe his affection grew too deep, bordering on idolatry. And the depth of his affection, no doubt, grew as he dealt with the pain of Ishmael’s leaving. Quite possibly, he dealt with his hurt by loving Isaac even more.

This is the reason that when we start following Christ, he calls us to hate our father, mother, wife, children, brother, sister, and even our own life to be his disciple (Luke 14:26). Our love for anything else, including family, must look like hate in comparison to our love for God. The greatest command is to love God with all our heart, mind, and soul. God will not have any rivals for our love.

Perhaps, this is why God asked for his son. Maybe, his love progressed to the brink of idolatry. But, we must hear and understand that this is common for God’s test. God often tests us where our affections are strongest.

Do you find your identity in work, studies, hobbies, friends, family, or a significant other? Then have no doubt that is where God will test you. Where ever our heart is, God will test us.

When God tests our most vulnerable areas, the tests are meant to help loosen our grip on these things and make our hearts cling more to God.

Application Question: How should we respond to this reality of God testing us in the areas of our greatest treasures?

It should deliver us from surprise when encountering such tests.
It should warn us against idolizing anything.
It should challenge us to make God our focus.

Are you guarding and protecting your heart (Prov 4:23)? God must always be first.

Application Question: What areas of your life are you most prone to idolize? How have you experienced God’s tests in your most sensitive areas, your treasures? How can we protect our hearts from loving gifts over the Giver?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Practice Immediate Obedience

Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. (Genesis 22:3)

Interpretation Question: What can we discern from the fact that in the morning Abraham got up, saddled the donkey, took two servants and Isaac, cut the wood, and then set out for the place God called him to?

After God spoke to Abraham, presumably at night, the narrator tells us that the next morning Abraham saddled the donkey, gathered two servants and Isaac, cut the wood, and set out for the place God called him to go. He immediately obeyed.

Now certainly this wasn’t easy. In fact, some commentators have noted the fact that Abraham saddled his donkey before he cut the wood, which doesn’t make any sense.² Normally, one would cut the wood and then saddle the donkey. Maybe, he was a little disoriented after a night without sleep. However, he still immediately obeyed God. This must be true of us as well. We must practice immediate obedience when we encounter God’s tests.

Application Question: What happens if we practice delayed obedience or rebellion in response to God’s test?

When we do not practice immediate obedience, it opens the door for the enemy to tempt us. He will try to draw us into questioning God. He will lead us to depression, discouragement, and ultimately sin. To sin in God’s test only leads to repeating the test. Like Israel, we end up spending years going around the same mountain in the wilderness. To practice disobedience, only brings God’s discipline and a repetition of the test. In addition, the repeated test only gets harder because our hearts become even more attached to whatever sin we struggle with.

Application Question: What happens when we practice immediate obedience?

When practicing immediate obedience to God’s tests, instead of receiving his discipline, we experience God’s blessing. James 1:25 says, “But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.”

The doer of God’s Word receives his blessings. God’s blessing may manifest as joy in the trial. While being disobedient in God’s tests, we often experience discouragement and depression (cf. Ps 32), but while being faithful, God enables us to find joy even in hard times. God’s blessing also gives us strength to persevere and be faithful. No doubt, Abraham experienced many of these blessings as he immediately obeyed God. If he had stayed at home and delayed obedience, the enemy of our souls and his would have tempted and tormented him.

Are you practicing immediate obedience in your trial? Or are you practicing procrastination and disobedience?

Application Question: Why is immediate obedience in trials so important? What are some of the consequences of delayed obedience or disobedience to God in trials?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Have the Right Attitude

The trip took about three days to get to the region of Moriah (v. 4), which is where Jerusalem is today.³ Many believe Abraham, his servants, and his son ascended Golgotha, the same mountain Christ was crucified on, outside the gate of Jerusalem.

When they saw the place in the distance, Abraham told his servants to stay while he and the boy went up the mountain to “worship.” What stands out about this is Abraham’s view of this test. He called the sacrifice of his son worship to God.

I don’t think Abraham was lying or being deceptive. It was indeed worship to God. He was on his way to sacrifice to the Lord, and he saw it as worship.

This must be true of us as well when going through God’s tests. We must see them as our reasonable worship. Romans 12:1 says: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”

Paul said that we should offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God, as an act of worship. Sacrifice is never easy. Sacrifice has the connotation of pain, and pain is not enjoyable. However, sacrifice can be worship to God if offered and given with the right attitude. And that is how Abraham saw his life and sacrifice, as worship to God.

The very reason many of us get angry at God, when going through trials, is because we see our life as worship to us. If a trial brings pain or discomfort, we get upset, because our lives are often more about ourselves than God. Our lives are about our success and happiness and anything that hinders those goals creates anger or animosity in us.

However, when we see our lives as sacrificial worship to God, it will change our response to tests and trials. Romans 5:3–4 says, “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

We rejoice in trials because they ultimately lead us to hope in God. Trials take our hopes off our jobs, hobbies, family, friends, and dreams, and help us place our hopes, where they belong—with God. That is why going through tests and trials can cause rejoicing. It can only cause rejoicing when the purpose of our life is really God. We rejoice because trials help us ultimately know and trust God more.

Our attitude is very important in trials. If we have the wrong attitude, if we are complainers and whiners, then we will fail the test and bring God’s discipline on our lives. Philippians 2:14 says, “Do all things without complaining and arguing.” First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “give thanks in all circumstances because this is God’s will for our lives.”

When Israel complained while being tested in the wilderness, God disciplined them (1 Cor 10:10). The wilderness was not worship to them, because it took away their comfort. But if their true desire was to know and trust God more, the wilderness could have become their greatest joy.

Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 12:9–10:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul’s trials became the subject of his boast because it was when he was weak that Christ’s power rested on him. For Paul the tests were worship, as it was with Abraham. Tests drew them both closer to God which was their ultimate desire. This should be true for us as well.

What is your attitude while going through tests?

Application Question: What is your typical attitude when God’s tests you? How can we learn to be thankful instead of bitter in our tests?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Have Faith

On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together. (Genesis 22:4–8)

Interpretation Question: Why did Abraham tell his servants that he and Isaac would go up the mountain and then come back? What was his reasoning?

We also must notice how Abraham not only shares that he and his son were going to worship but also that he said, “we will come back to you.” Now, was Abraham lying? We know Abraham had a tendency to stretch the truth. However, it seems Abraham was responding in faith. Hebrews 11:17–19 says:

By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

The author of Hebrews says the reason Abraham offered his son was because he reasoned that God could raise the dead. When Abraham said, “we will come back to you,” it was because he believed that if he sacrificed his son, God would raise him from the dead. This was great faith, especially since up to this point in biblical history there were no previous resurrections.

Abraham throughout his journey learned that God was trustworthy and that he could not tell a lie. If God said it was through Isaac that his offspring would be reckoned, then it made sense that God would indeed raise him from the dead.

We also see his faith in how he responded to Isaac when asked about the lamb. Abraham responded, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son” (v. 8). Abraham didn’t exactly know how, but he knew that God would provide.

This must be true of us as well, when going through God’s test. We must have faith. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” In order to please God in a test, we must believe in him. We must believe in his goodness and his faithfulness to his people. We may not fully understand why or how, but we must trust him. The writer of Hebrews says that God rewards those who come to him with faith.

Are you trusting God in your trial? Faith is necessary to please God and to pass the test.

Application Question: Why should we trust God when going through trials? How can we increase our faith as we go through them?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Depend on Others

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. (Genesis 22:9–10)

When they reached the place God told Abraham to go, Abraham built an altar, arranged the wood on it, and then bound Isaac and placed him on the altar. The narrator mentions nothing about a struggle. Abraham was probably at least 116 years old at this time. We can guess this by the fact that the same Hebrew word for “boy” used of Isaac in this text was used of Ishmael in Genesis 21, who was sixteen at the time.⁴ Abraham was an old man. Isaac was stronger and faster at sixteen years old, and therefore, it would have been very difficult for Abraham to bind and place him on the altar without his cooperation.

The implication is that Isaac cooperated with Abraham. Maybe, while on top of the mountain, Abraham shared God’s command to sacrifice him and, at the same time, assured him of God’s faithfulness. No doubt, Abraham taught Isaac many times that a great nation would come through him, and that all the nations of the earth would be blessed through him. It is clear that not only did Abraham have great faith, but so did his son.

With that said, one of the principles we can learn from this about passing God’s tests is that we will also commonly need the cooperation and support of other believers to pass God’s tests. The Christian life was never meant to be walked alone. We need brothers and sisters supporting us and helping us get through.

In fact, if God calls us to any great work or to go through any great test, one of the right answers to the test will be, “Phone a friend”—get help. Scripture teaches that as Christians we are part of the body of Christ. One person is the hand, another is an eye, another is the liver, and another is a leg. In order for me to accomplish anything with my body, I need the cooperation of other parts. My leg cannot function without my hip, knees, and muscles doing their part.

Is it any surprise that this reality also applies to us when going through tests? We need the wisdom, the insight, the prayers, and support of others to be faithful in tests. Consider what Paul said about him being a prisoner in Rome and his eventual deliverance in Philippians 1:19: “for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.”

Paul was convinced that the prayers of a tiny congregation in Philippi were enough to thwart the plans of the Roman Empire. That is how confident he was in their prayers. It also showed his dependence upon them to receive deliverance.

What are you seeking deliverance from? Is it unforgiveness, anger, discord, depression, or some other sin? You can be confident that much of the grace of God needed to pass that test will come through the body of Christ. If you neglect the body of Christ, if you are not integrated into the life of a church, you will find yourself spiritually impoverished and failing most tests you go through.

We need one another. In order for Abraham to offer his son in obedience to God, he needed his son’s cooperation and faith as well.

Application Question: In what ways have you received grace through God’s body to pass tests or trials? How has God revealed your need to depend on brothers and sisters in Christ?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand His Purpose of Revealing What Is in Our Hearts

Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:11–12)

As Abraham was about to slay his son, the angel of the Lord commanded him to not lay a hand on the boy. The angel of the Lord was a theophany—a temporary appearance of God in order to reveal himself to his people. Many believe this was a pre-incarnate appearance of Christ. The angel of the Lord said, “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son” (v. 12).

We can discern from the angel’s words one of God’s purposes in Abraham’s trial. It revealed what was in Abraham’s heart. He said, “Now I know that you fear God.” The test revealed that Abraham feared God even more than losing his son. He truly did hate his mother, father, wife, children, brother, sister and even his own life for the Lord’s sake (cf. Luke 14:26–27), as we each are called to do.

In the same way, one of God’s purposes in trials is to reveal what is in our hearts. Consider what Peter said to the Christians suffering in the Roman Empire in 1 Peter 1:6–7:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Peter said the trials these Christians were encountering were to prove their faith genuine. The Greek word for “proved” was used of a metallurgist purifying or testing a metal to see if it was genuine.

Now the reality is that God doesn’t need to know what is in our hearts; we need to know what is in our hearts. God already knows everything.

For some professing Christians, trials essentially prove if God is their Lord at all. Remember in Matthew 13:21, the stony ground received the seed of the Word of God, but when trials came, the plant withered because it lacked deep roots. For many going through various trials with church, work, or family instead of drawing them to God, the trials push them away—never to return. They fall away proving that their faith was shallow and not genuine, as Christ taught. Maybe, it was more centered on the church rather than God, and therefore when the church failed them, they fell away. Or, following Christ was more focused on their prosperity, and therefore, when they experienced sickness or difficulty, they left God.

Trials come to reveal what is in our hearts. God said this to the Israelites while they were in the wilderness in Deuteronomy 8:2: “Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”

God took them through the desert (or the wilderness) to test them and see what was in their hearts. As you know, while the Israelites were in the wilderness, trials revealed complaining, idol worship, sexual immorality, and rebellion. It revealed that “Egypt” was still in their hearts.

This is how many Christians are. When God brings them into a trial, it reveals that the world really rules their hearts. They complain, get drunk, commit sexual immorality, and rebel against authority, just like the Israelites did.

Sometimes people blame their actions on a certain situation or relationship; however, the blame is misdirected. They may say, “I only act this way when I’m around this person.” They say this to relieve blame from themselves. However, the situation or difficult person is really like a fire that brings all the impurities to the surface. It brings anger, lust, bitterness, and lack of faith; it shows what is already in the heart. The person or situation is not the cause—our heart is. The person or situation only revealed the sin already in our heart, which needed to be removed.

I remember stepping down from my pastoral ministry in Chicago and moving back to Texas with my parents, as I applied for new ministry positions. While waiting, I started struggling with my identity. I stepped down from my job in December and wasn’t hired to a new position until June. During that time, I realized that at some point while in ministry, I stopped seeing myself as, “God’s child.” I had become, “Pastor Greg, God’s child.” My identity started to come from my ministry position and not simply my identity in Christ. The trial of waiting revealed what was in my heart.

During that season of waiting, I really drew near God by being in his Word and prayer—to restore my identity as his child. Trials reveal what is in our hearts. That is part of the reason God allows them.

Again, for Abraham, the trial revealed that he feared God, even more than the loss of his son. What do your trials and tests reveal about your heart? Does it reveal anger, pride, lack of faith, or worldliness? Does “Egypt” come out of your heart, as it did with the Israelites while in the wilderness?

One of the reasons God allows tests and trials is to help us know our hearts, so we can repent and be transformed. In the midst of a test, it is good to pray, “Lord, what are you trying to show me about my heart, and how can I change?”

Application Question: What has God revealed about your heart through tests and trials? How has God called you to work on those issues?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Depend on God

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.” (Genesis 22:13–14)

After the Lord stopped Abraham from sacrificing his son, God provided a ram to sacrifice instead. In response to this, Abraham named the place, “The LORD Will Provide,” Jehovah Jireh. Literally, it can be translated, “The Lord Will See to It.”⁵

To pass God’s tests not only do we need others’ cooperation and support, but we need God’s. God is the one who provides us with grace to make it through trials or to escape them. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13 says,

With every trial or temptation, God always provides a way out or the ability to persevere through the trial.

It is for this reason that we must draw near God in trials (James 4:8). God provides wisdom, strength, and endurance for us to be faithful in it. James said that in every trial we should ask God for wisdom since he provides liberally (James 1:5). Again, Paul said this in Philippians 1:19, “for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.”

Not only was Paul confident of deliverance because of the saint’s prayers but the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Paul knew Christ was faithful. He would carry him through. And, Christ will do the same for us during trials. In fact, it is during trials that we will find his grace abundant. Paul said in his weakness, God’s power was made perfect (cf. 2 Cor 12:9).

One of the ways we depend on God and experience his grace in the trials is by abiding in him. Jesus said: “‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Whatever fruit needed to pass God’s test grows as we make our home in him. We abide in him through worship, prayer, time in the Word, and fellowship with saints. It was in the midst of Abraham’s worship that God provided a ram, and he will often do the same for us as well.

Are you bearing God’s fruit through abiding in him during trials? God is Jehovah Jireh—our Provider.

He will see to it. He will make sure we have everything needed.

Application Question: In what ways have you seen God miraculously meet your needs or provide grace for you in a trial? What do we have to do in order to receive his grace and provisions?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand His Purpose of Revealing More of Himself to Us

So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.” (Genesis 22:14)

Not only must we notice that God met Abraham’s needs, but also that Abraham came to know God in a new and deeper way. This is the first time Abraham called God, Jehovah Jireh. As we walked through Abraham’s story, we saw God reveal himself in special ways through each test or trial. When God called Abraham to leave his family and home, he was YAHWEH the covenant God, in Genesis 12:1. When God empowered Abraham to defeat the four armies from the east, God revealed himself as his shield—his very great reward—in Genesis 15:1. In Genesis 17:1, when God told Abraham he was going to have a child in his old age through Sarah, he revealed himself as God Almighty, El Shaddai.

In each trial, we get to know God’s character and person more deeply. In many ways, it is like any close relationship. Our deepest and most intimate relationships typically are formed by going through hard times together. It is in those hard times, we learn to trust them more, and we learn more about their character. That is just what God desires to do with us through trials. He wants to reveal himself in a deeper and more intimate way.

How has God revealed himself to you in the past? Has he shown himself as YAHWEH—the God you are in covenant with? Has he revealed himself as El Shaddai—the God who does miracles? Has he revealed himself as Jehovah Jireh—the one who provides all your needs?

God has many names/character traits he wants to reveal to you. He wants to reveal that he is Jehovah Sabaoth, “The LORD of Hosts.” He is the Lord of the armies of heaven who fights your battles. He wants to reveal that he is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals you. He wants to reveal that he is Jehovah Roi, the Shepherd who leads you. He wants to reveal that he is Jehovah Shalom, the Lord who gives you peace, even in the midst of storms.

That is one of the greatest things that God does in our lives through tests. He reveals more of who he is to us. Lord, make yourself known. We want to see your glory.

Application Question: What characteristic of God is he revealing to you at this stage of your life?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Focus on God’s Reward

The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.” (Genesis 22:15–18)

Observation Question: What blessings did God give Abraham after he passed the test?

After God provided the ram for Abraham to sacrifice, he pronounced a blessing on Abraham. He reassured Abraham of his promise to make his descendants like the stars in the sky and the sand of the seashore. But he also gave a further promise of the messiah coming through Abraham’s lineage. He said, “through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me” (v. 18). In Galatians 3:16, Paul teaches that the word “offspring” is singular—referring to Christ.

The reward for being faithful in the test was reassurance and the privilege of the messiah coming through his lineage. It is no different for us. Faithfully navigating the trials of life opens the door for greater rewards from God. Understanding this, helps encourage us to be faithful.

After Job faithfully persevered through his trials, God rewarded him with a double blessing. Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 about the trials God allowed him and his associates to go through:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

God comforted them in their trials so that they could comfort those in “any trouble” with the comfort they received. When God comforts a believer in a trial, he enables them to comfort others going through various trials, not just the same one. Through trials God equips believers for ministry and expands their outreach.

Have you experienced this before? Sometimes God equips and expands our ministry through trials by giving us not only comfort but compassion. This happened to me. Before going through a battle with depression in college, I had problems crying. I had been hardened by life. But when God took me through a season of struggle, I began to weep—not only for myself, but for others. I began to develop empathy—I could feel the pain of others. He prepared me for ministry through struggle. He enabled me not just to feel but to comfort others with the comfort he gave me.

One of the greatest encouragements to pass God’s test is looking at his reward. James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” There is reward on earth, as God matures us and opens doors for further ministry, but there is also great reward in heaven (cf. 2 Cor 4:17–18).

Application Question: In what ways have you experienced God’s reward by faithfully going through his tests? In what ways has he expanded your ministry and your ability to minister?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Seek to Magnify Christ

Observation Question: How does Isaac resemble Christ in this text?

As we consider this text, it is almost impossible to miss Isaac’s resemblance to Christ. We see this in many ways:

Like Isaac, Jesus was the only begotten of the Father, whom the Father loved.
Like Isaac, Jesus carried his cross up the hill to the place he would be sacrificed.
Like Isaac, Jesus offered himself willingly. He said, “Father, take this cup from me, nevertheless your will be done.”
Like Isaac, Jesus was crucified on a hill in Jerusalem.
Like Isaac, Jesus was delivered from death on the third day.

The parallels are impossible to miss.

But the reality is this is God’s purpose in every trial and circumstance we encounter in life. Romans 8:28–29 says,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

God works everything for the purpose of conforming us to Christ’s image and that includes both blessings and trials. They all are for the purpose of making us like Jesus. Therefore, our primary purpose in trials must be becoming like Christ. If we had this mindset in the midst of difficulty, instead of primarily seeking to lessen pain or embarrassment, then we would pass our tests.

It’s a lot easier to pass an exam or a paper if we know what the professor is looking for. God’s purpose in trials is to make us look just like himself. In this text, Abraham looks just like God the Father, and Isaac looks like Jesus the Son. Paul said this about his imprisonment and possible death sentence in Rome:

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:20–21)

What was his expectation, his hope in his trial? It wasn’t to be delivered from death. That was not Paul’s focus. His focus was Christ being exalted in his body whether by life or death. If he lived, he wanted Christ exalted, and if he died, he wanted Christ exalted. That was all that mattered.

The word “exalted” can also be translated “magnified.” He wanted to display the magnificence of Christ in his trial. In the midst of his test, he wanted his body to be a theater where all could clearly see Christ.

Is that your desire when going through a trial or test? Is it that Christ be magnified, both so you could see him more clearly and others as well? Or is it simply to escape the trial? Resembling and glorifying Christ must be our goal in every aspect of life, including our trials.

And for that reason, while going through tests, we must ask ourselves and God, “How can I glorify Christ best?” This is something we must ask because that question leads us to the right answers to pass God’s test.

Application Question: How can we develop a mindset of seeking to glorify Christ in every test or trial? Why is this mindset so difficult to maintain?

Conclusion

How can we pass God’s tests?

To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Expect Them
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand God Already Prepared Us
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand They Often Seem Illogical
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand They Often Involve Our Greatest Treasures
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Practice Immediate Obedience
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Have the Right Attitude
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Have Faith
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Depend on Others
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand His Purpose of Revealing What Is in Our Hearts
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Depend on God
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Understand His Purpose of Revealing More of Himself to Us
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Focus on God’s Reward
To Pass God’s Tests, We Must Seek to Magnify Christ

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 301). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

² Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 302). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

³ Guzik, David (2012-12-08). Genesis (Kindle Locations 3563–3564). Enduring Word Media. Kindle Edition.

⁴ Hughes, R. K. (2004). Genesis: Beginning and Blessing (p. 301). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁵ Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). Be Obedient (p. 110). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

Related Topics: Christian Life

14. How to Respond to Death in a God-honoring Way (Genesis 23, 25:1–10)

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Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, “I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” The Hittites replied to Abraham, “Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.” Then Abraham rose and bowed down before the people of the land, the Hittites. He said to them, “If you are willing to let me bury my dead, then listen to me and intercede with Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf so he will sell me the cave of Machpelah, which belongs to him and is at the end of his field. Ask him to sell it to me for the full price as a burial site among you.” Ephron the Hittite was sitting among his people and he replied to Abraham in the hearing of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of his city. “No, my lord,” he said. “Listen to me; I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.” Again Abraham bowed down before the people of the land and he said to Ephron in their hearing, “Listen to me, if you will. I will pay the price of the field. Accept it from me so I can bury my dead there.” Ephron answered Abraham, “Listen to me, my lord; the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, but what is that between me and you? Bury your dead.” Abraham agreed to Ephron's terms and weighed out for him the price he had named in the hearing of the Hittites: four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weight current among the merchants. So Ephron's field in Machpelah near Mamre—both the field and the cave in it, and all the trees within the borders of the field—was deeded to Abraham as his property in the presence of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of the city… (Genesis 23, 25:1–10)

How can we respond to death in a God-honoring way? How should we comfort those who have lost loved ones?

One of the purposes of Scripture is to equip the man of God for every good work (2 Tim 3:17), and one of these good works is responding to death well. Many don’t like to think about death; however, death is a reality that must be considered and prepared for. And in one sense, as Christians, we should be more prepared for death than others. Hebrews 9:27 in the KJV says, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.” Scripture teaches us to live with a view towards eternity, and in order to do that, we must realistically view and prepare for death.

In this text, we see how Abraham responded to his wife’s death, and we will, eventually, see his death as well. This is important to consider because we all will experience the loss of a loved one and ultimately our own death. And it is also important because people close to us lose loved ones. How can we prepare to minister to them and help them respond in a God-honoring way?

When Paul was confronted with the possibility of dying while imprisoned in Rome, he said this in Philippians 1:20–21:

Paul’s desire in confronting death was that Christ would be magnified through him, and it must be the same for us. How can we respond to death in a God-honoring way—a way that magnifies Christ?

As we consider both Genesis 23 and 25, two of the last narratives on Abraham, we learn principles about how to respond to death in a God-honoring way.

Big Question: What can we learn about responding to death in a God-honoring way from Abraham’s response to Sarah’s death?

In Response to Death, We Must Celebrate and Learn from the Lives of the Deceased

Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. (Genesis 23:1–2)

As we consider Sarah’s death, we must first consider the fact that she lived. The text says, “Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old.” If she married Abraham at fifteen, the common marrying age of the ancients, she was married for 112 years ¹ and following God for at least sixty-two years. A great deal can be celebrated and learned from her life.

Often when people die, instead of celebrating and learning from their lives, we commonly over-focus on the death and how sad it was. However, the most important thing to remember is the fact that they lived, no matter how brief or difficult life was.

Sarah was a great woman of faith. We are never clearly given Mary, Jesus’ mother, as a model of faith in the Scripture; however, we are given Sarah as a model of faith three times. In fact, she is put in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. Listen to these texts:

By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11 [ESV])

For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Peter 3:5–6)

“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness and who seek the LORD: Look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn; look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth. When I called him he was but one, and I blessed him and made him many. (Isaiah 51:1–2)

When confronted with death, we must remember the person’s life. Sarah was a great woman of faith. Not only did Abraham leave his family and his home, so did Sarah. When Sarah had a miraculous birth, the writer of Hebrews attributes it to her faith. In 1 Peter 3:5–6, she is honored for her humble submission to her husband, and women who do the same are called her daughters.

No doubt, Abraham and Isaac comforted one another by talking about how great a woman she was. She was a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. In the same way, one of the ways we should respond to death is by remembering the life of the deceased and taking lessons from them. As mentioned, Hebrews 11 is the Hall of Faith. It mentions Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David and other great men and women of faith. Hebrews 12:1 says this about their lives:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

The writer says that we should remember the lives of these dead saints because their lives encourage us to get rid of sin and persevere in the life of faith. Many times God uses deceased saints to inspire us, remind us of the brevity of life, and motivate us not to waste ours. In responding to death, we must remember the lives of the deceased.

Pastor Bruce Goettsche from Union Church, in his sermon on Genesis 23, gives us some helpful insight on how to comfort those who have lost a loved one. He says,

In fact, many people make a terrible mistake when talking with someone who has suffered a loss. They avoid talking about the person who died or anything associated with the loss. We say we “don’t want to upset” the one who is grieving. But what a foolish approach this is. We are acting like the person never lived. And there is nothing that deepens the pain of one who is grieving like the feeling that the one who is gone has been so easily forgotten. Truthfully, the one thing most grieving people want to do is talk about the one who died. They want to talk about how rich life was when that person was around. They love hearing a special memory or being told that you were missing that person today. Sometimes it brings a tear…but it is usually a grateful tear.²

One of the ways we respond to death is by remembering that the people lived and talking about them. Talking about them is a necessary part of healing from the loss—celebrating and learning from them. Lord, give us grace to celebrate and learn from your saints.

Application Question: Have you ever lost a loved one? How important is it to remember and talk about them? How can we wisely comfort grieving people by remembering the lives of their loved ones?

In Response to Death, We Must Properly Mourn

Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. (Genesis 23:1–2)

After Sarah died, the text says that Abraham mourned and wept over her. Sadly, in many circles today it is considered a lack of faith to mourn. They would trumpet the fact that Christ defeated death (2 Tim 1:10), that God works all things to the good (Rom 8:28), and therefore, we shouldn’t mourn. However, those statements do not represent the full counsel of Scripture. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept, even though he knew Lazarus would rise from the dead. When Jacob died, Joseph and the Egyptians mourned for over seventy days (Gen 50:3, 10).

Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:3–4, “Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

There is a place for sorrow and sadness. There is tremendous wisdom in it. It is the fool who tries to escape pain and drown it out with pleasure. In mourning, we remember the people, lament the loss, and find healing. If we do not properly mourn, we will handle that pain in an unhealthy way, which eventually affects us and others negatively. If Jesus mourned death, then so should we.

Application Question: What are some normal stages of grief? What should distinguish these stages in the life of a believer from that of a nonbeliever?

The normal stages of grief include:

Denial and isolation
Anger
Bargaining (When we have lost control, we naturally want to try to regain it. We may say, “If I did this” or “If I did that…,” or we may try to bargain with God)
Depression
Acceptance of the loss

Now with that said, believers should not mourn in the same way the world does, we mourn in hope. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13, Paul said, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.” We grieve, but it is not the grief of hopelessness.

We hope because of the realization that we will see them again in heaven, if they were believers. We hope because we know that our God is ultimately good and wise and always does what’s best. Yes, we mourn, but we mourn in hope because of God’s faithfulness.

Application Question: How can we know when we or somebody else is mourning without hope? How can we minister to these people?

In Response to Death, We Must Remember Heaven Is Our Ultimate Home

Interpretation Question: What did Abraham mean when he called himself an “alien and a stranger” among the Hittites?

The narrative only spends one verse on Abraham’s mourning and then moves on to Abraham’s securing of a grave plot. This may seem like a ridiculous amount of space given to purchasing a burial place for Sarah; however, we can learn many important principles from this correspondence.

From Abraham’s interaction with the Hittites we must notice what he called himself in verse 4. Abraham said, “I am an alien and stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site so I can bury my dead.”

What did Abraham mean when he called himself “an alien and a stranger” among the Hittites? Obviously, he meant that Canaan was theirs and that he owned no property in the land, but the writers of Scripture seem to imply that he meant much more. Hebrews 11:9–10 says this,

By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

The writer of Hebrews says that the reason Abraham never owned land in Canaan other than his wife’s burial site was because he viewed heaven as his home. He saw himself not just as a pilgrim waiting for God to give him the land of Canaan, but he also was waiting for heavenly Canaan.

God said the same thing about Israel through Moses in Leviticus 25:23: “‘The land must not be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you are but aliens and my tenants.” Even though the nation of Israel would indeed own the land of Canaan, it was really God’s, and they were just aliens and tenants in the land—heaven was their ultimate home.

David said the same thing in 1 Chronicles 29:1 and Psalm 39:12. He said:

“We are aliens and strangers in your sight, as were all our forefathers. Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope. (1 Chronicles 29:1)

Hear my prayer, O LORD, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were. (Psalm 39:12)

Even though David owned great land and property, he realized that it was all God’s and that he was really just a stranger waiting for his heavenly abode.

Do you realize that Scripture says the same thing about us? Peter said this in his introduction to his first epistle, “Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia” (1 Pet 1:1).

We are strangers in this world; this world is not our home. While Abraham was living in Canaan, he lived as a pilgrim and a stranger because he was really waiting for heaven. This is the same way that many saints have viewed themselves in this world. This reality becomes especially important as we encounter persecution and death. We must hold on even tighter to our heavenly home. Paul said this to persecuted Christians in Philippians 3:20–21:

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

As we encounter death, we must remember our citizenship. This is not our home. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor 5:8), and one day at the resurrection, our bodies will transform into glorious bodies like our Lord’s. This is what we must remember when encountering death. This is what we must consider when losing loved ones or when confronted with our own mortality.

Application Question: How does remembering our heavenly citizenship encourage you when considering death? How can we better live as citizens of heaven while on this earth, instead of assimilating to the culture?

In Response to Death, We Must Respond and Prepare Practically

As we witness Abraham’s purchase of a burial plot, we are reminded that when encountering death, we must respond practically. Some when encountering death bottle up and go into a corner—leaving the practical issues of death to others. But, pragmatic issues like burial, finances, and wills, must be addressed.

Some have wondered if God, by his grace, allows us to deal with these matters as a way to not be overwhelmed with death. It often helps with grieving and continuing to live after loss.

The practical issues of death must be tended to, and they should not only be considered after somebody dies but also before. Consider what God said to Hezekiah when telling him about his impending death in Isaiah 38:1. The text says:

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

God told Hezekiah to put his house in order. This consisted of choosing an heir for his wealth and his kingdom. It also included preparing his family, friends, and nation practically, spiritually, and emotionally. Sadly, when people do not put their “house in order,” it often leaves undue stress on their family and friends.

Application Question: What does putting one’s house in order include in our context?

1. Putting our house in order might include getting life insurance or establishing a savings for family members—especially young children.

Funerals, caskets, and burial plots, can be costly, and these things must be considered. One should have money set away for these. Even though it will not affect us when we die, it affects those we leave behind. In addition, when considering a funeral, we should shy away from being luxurious, but maybe we shouldn’t be as cheap as possible either. Burials are not for the deceased; they are for the friends and family to mourn, celebrate the person’s life, and heal.

2. Putting our house in order might include paying off outstanding bills.

Again, this removes the burden from family members and allows them to both mourn and go forward with their lives afterwards. Scripture calls us to leave no debt outstanding (Rom 13:8).

3. Putting our house in order might include establishing a will.

A will establishes who inherits what and who handles certain practical matters after the death of a loved one. Establishing this after the death of a loved one can be a very difficult legal process, and some families actually divide over it. A will should be set up early in life and continually updated.

4. Putting our house in order might include downsizing.

In wealthy societies, people tend to pick up a lot of things that others need to sell, maintain, or give away in the event of death. When we die, we will take nothing with us. This reality alone should keep us from hoarding possessions (Matt 6:19). Either way, as we prepare for death, we should practically consider what to do with our things.

As Christians, we must prepare for death in a practical, God-honoring way, even before it happens.

Application Question: Have you ever considered these practical aspects that come along with death? Why is it important to prepare for the practical aspects of death? How can one start making preparations for one’s self or for older family members?

In Response to Death, We Must Recognize the Opportunity to Demonstrate Our Hope to the Lost

Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, “I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” The Hittites replied to Abraham, “Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.” Then Abraham rose and bowed down before the people of the land, the Hittites. He said to them, “If you are willing to let me bury my dead, then listen to me and intercede with Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf so he will sell me the cave of Machpelah, which belongs to him and is at the end of his field. Ask him to sell it to me for the full price as a burial site among you.” Ephron the Hittite was sitting among his people and he replied to Abraham in the hearing of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of his city. “No, my lord,” he said. “Listen to me; I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.” Again Abraham bowed down before the people of the land and he said to Ephron in their hearing, “Listen to me, if you will. I will pay the price of the field. Accept it from me so I can bury my dead there.” Ephron answered Abraham, “Listen to me, my lord; the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, but what is that between me and you? Bury your dead.” Abraham agreed to Ephron's terms and weighed out for him the price he had named in the hearing of the Hittites: four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weight current among the merchants. So Ephron's field in Machpelah near Mamre—both the field and the cave in it, and all the trees within the borders of the field—was deeded to Abraham as his property in the presence of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of the city. (Genesis 23:3–18)

Throughout this narrative, as Abraham secures a burial plot for Sarah, the narrator repeatedly establishes how this was done “in the presence of all the Hittites.” This is shared in different ways four different times (Gen 23:3, 7, 10, 18).

The Hittites already admired Abraham. When he approached them, they literally called him “a prince of God” (v.6, ESV). Throughout his time in Canaan, he acknowledged and glorified God. In fact, soon after arriving, he built an altar to God in Genesis 12:7. No doubt, the Hittites always watched and respected him.

Now, even in how he responded to his wife’s death, he was a witness for God. We can see this in his negotiation with the Hittites. He first approached them asking to purchase a burial plot, and in response, they offered to allow him to bury his dead in the choicest of their tombs (v. 6). For the Hittites, this was a very generous offer. The ancients believed that wherever a person was buried affected where he lived in the afterlife.³ Therefore, to bury Sarah in the Hittite tombs meant she would dwell with their relatives in the afterlife.

However, Abraham believed in a different God and a different afterlife. Only owning his own burial plot would suffice. He then asked for the cave of Machpelah, which Ephron owned. Through the negotiations in Genesis 24:10–18, we learn something about bargaining in this ancient culture. Commentator David Guzik said this:

Ephron the Hittite followed the cultural customs of bargaining. First, the seller offered to give the item. Then, when that was refused, the seller suggested a price, which he claimed was modest but was really very high. This was understood to be the starting point, and from there the bargaining began.⁴

Ancient bargaining was often full of false humility and deception. When Ephron offered the cave plus the land for free, according to that culture, Abraham was supposed to reject the offer. It seems that Ephron added the plot of land because according to Hittite law, if he only sold the cave and not the whole property, he still owed taxes on the entire property. Therefore, he tried to unload the whole plot for financial purposes.⁵

Ephron’s offer of 400 shekels of silver was an extremely high price. It was there that the bidding would have begun. Abraham was supposed to bargain for a fairer price; however, he doesn’t. In the presence of the Hittites, Abraham acted with great integrity and accepted the initial offer.

This would have been a tremendous witness to the Hittites of whom dishonest practices was part of their culture. In the same way, death is another opportunity for believers to be a light and share their hope with the lost.

Application Question: How can believers share their hope with the world, even in response to death?

1. Believers share their hope by having gospel-centered funerals.

At a funeral people are more conscious of death and the afterlife; it helps bring these unsettling realities to the forefront of their minds. During the funeral, yes, the deceased should be remembered, but even more importantly, the gospel must be proclaimed so that those without hope may find hope in Christ.

2. Believers share their hope by having integrity in their practical dealings.

As mentioned, when dealing with wills, property, and bills after a loved one dies, many believers lose their witness before the world. All these matters become opportunities for fighting and discord—pushing many away from Christ. Like Abraham, these matters must be handled with humility and integrity.

3. Believers share their hope by showing love to grieving family members.

Certainly, we should show love to grieving families by reaching out, trying to help in any way possible, and also by grieving with them. It must be remembered that Christ wept, when he met with Lazarus’ family at the burial site (cf. John 11:33–35).

This might be especially important in the case of one’s own family. Many families have a great deal of discord within them, and funerals bring all the family members physically together. This can be an explosive time or a time of great healing. As believers, this is a time to love each family member, regardless of the previous baggage, and to be a peacemaker (cf. Matt 5:9). By loving grieving family members, we show our hope in Christ.

Application Question: Have you ever experienced a God-honoring funeral? What were characteristics of it? In what ways have you seen or experienced believers losing their witness by how they handled the practical matters of death?

In Response to Death, We Must Hold onto God’s Promises

Afterward Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave in the field of Machpelah near Mamre (which is at Hebron) in the land of Canaan. So the field and the cave in it were deeded to Abraham by the Hittites as a burial site. (Genesis 24:19–20)

One of the things we must notice about Abraham’s purchase of the land is that it was an act of faith. In that culture, it was normative to bury one’s loved ones with family members in their homeland. But Abraham didn’t return home; he, in faith, buried Sarah in the Land of Promise. God promised that Abraham and his descendants would own the land of Canaan, and this property was a stake in that promise. It was very similar to God telling Jeremiah to buy the field of Anathoth in Jerusalem, even though Israel was about to be exiled to Babylon. Jeremiah bought the property as an act of faith, because he believed God’s promise that Israel would return (cf. Jer 32:6–15).

The cave of Machpelah was the same tomb that Isaac, Ishmael, Rebekah, Leah, and Jacob would later be buried in (Gen 25:9, 49:31, 50:31) and, no doubt, many others. It would become a great monument of faith to the people of Israel. In fact, this narrative would have been very important as Moses, the narrator, was preparing the Israelites to leave the wilderness and to conquer the promised land. He was calling them to have faith, just as their forefathers did.

Application Question: In what ways must we as Christians hold on to God’s promises as we encounter death?

There are many important promises to hold on to when encountering death—one’s own death or the death of others.

1. We must hold on to the promise of being with Christ immediately at death.

Second Corinthians 5:8 says, “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” A believer that dies immediately enters God’s presence. We must take comfort in that great promise.

We must hold on to the promise of the resurrection of the body.

First Thessalonians 4:15–18 says,

According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.

It was never God’s will for us to live as dismembered spirits. One day our bodies will be resurrected. This can be tremendously comforting to those with a terminal sickness, as they watch their bodies waste away. This body will one day be resurrected, and it will be a more glorious body (cf. 1 Cor 15:36–37, 42–44).

This is also tremendously comforting to those still alive when loved ones pass away. The bodies of those who died in the Lord will be resurrected first, and then those still alive at the Lord’s coming will resurrect to meet with them and Christ in the air. We are instructed by God to comfort one another with these words (1 Thess 4:13–18).

3. We must hold on to the promise of his comfort in the midst of our loss.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” A grieving person may not always experience a special revelation of God’s presence. We are not told that God appeared to Abraham after he lost Sarah, as he did at other times. However, we can trust that he was present with him, even as he will be with us. Like the poem titled “Footprints in the Sand” says, we can trust that at discouraging times when God seems distant; it is then that God carries us.

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”⁶

4. We must hold on to the promise that God will bless the children of those who love him.

Exodus 20:5–6 and Psalm 37:25–26 give us these great promises:

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed. (Psalm 37:25–26)

This may be especially important as we face our own mortality while still having living children, especially young ones. We can trust that as we have followed God, he will faithfully take care of our children. They shall not be forsaken or left to beg for bread. God will meet their needs, and they will be blessed to a thousand generations.

Again, when Abraham’s wife died, it was normative to bury one’s loved ones with their family in the homeland. But Abraham didn’t go back to Ur or Haran; he trusted God’s promise and buried her in the land of Canaan. And we’ll see that at Abraham’s death, his children did the same, as they buried him with his wife (Gen 25:9).

We also, when encountering death, must hold on to God’s promises.

Application Question: Why is it so important to hold on to God’s promises as we encounter death? What promises are especially important to you as you consider death?

In Response to Death, We Must Continue to Live and Encourage Others to Live as Well

Abraham took another wife, whose name was Keturah. She bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah. Jokshan was the father of Sheba and Dedan; the descendants of Dedan were the Asshurites, the Letushites and the Leummites. The sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida and Eldaah. All these were descendants of Keturah. Abraham left everything he owned to Isaac. But while he was still living, he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them away from his son Isaac to the land of the east. Altogether, Abraham lived a hundred and seventy-five years. Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people. His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah near Mamre, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, the field Abraham had bought from the Hittites. There Abraham was buried with his wife Sarah. (Genesis 25:1–10)

After Sarah died, Abraham didn’t crawl into the cave with her and become a hermit, he moved on with his life. God was not done with him yet. The Lord still had promises to fulfill in Abraham’s life. Abraham lived another thirty-eight years after the death of Sarah.⁷ At some point during that time, he married a woman named Keturah and had six children with her. Obviously, when God rejuvenated his reproductive organs at the age of ninety-nine, they still worked over twenty years later.

As we read the names of his children, we just read names. But when the Israelites read this narrative, they heard the names of nations. Jokshan, the second son of Keturah, had several nations come out of him: the Asshurites, the Letushites, and the Leummites. Midian was the father of the Midianites. In fact, Moses’s father-in-law, Jethro, was a Midianite priest (Exod 3:1).

Similarly, we must continue to live after the death of a loved one. We will never forget. Our lives will always be richer because of them, and they should always remain in our memory. However, there is a time to mourn and a time to heal. There is a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to embrace and a time refrain (cf. Ecc 3:1–8). For Abraham, it was a time to embrace again.

This can be especially difficult for family members to watch when a widow or widower remarries. Some will choose to never remarry, but many will. In fact, Scripture encourages young widows to remarry to protect themselves from temptations (cf. 1 Tim 5:11–15). When and how soon remarriage happens is between them and God; however, in the process of discerning timing, it is probably wise to consider the sensitivities of others.

This principle applies to everybody who loses a loved one and not just for those previously married. There is a time to mourn and a time to heal. We must trust God and continue walking this pilgrim life. He still wants to use us, even after the death of a loved one, and he still has promises to fulfill in our lives.

God continued to bless Abraham and fulfill his original promise to him, that he would be great and nations would come from him (cf. Gen 12:1–3; 17:6). Abraham lived till 175 years old and then died. Before he died, he sent his six new children away with gifts, but he left his inheritance to Isaac. He then was “gathered to his people” (v. 8)—meaning he was buried with his wife, and ultimately reunited with her in heaven.

Death is not the end of living for the deceased nor the living. In heaven, if they knew Christ, the deceased are more alive than they ever were. And those on earth must continue to walk with God as well, until he takes them home and reunites them with their loved ones. In response to death, we must keep on living and encourage others to continue to as well.

Application Question: How can we wisely encourage others to continue to live in a healthy way after losing a loved one? Also, how can we help encourage others to accept when a loved one moves on, especially when it comes to remarriage?

Conclusion

How should we respond to death?

In Response to Death, We Must Celebrate and Learn from the Lives of the Deceased
In Response to Death, We Must Properly Mourn
In Response to Death, We Must Remember Heaven Is Our Ultimate Home
In Response to Death, We Must Respond and Prepare Practically
In Response to Death, We Must Recognize Our Opportunity to Demonstrate Our Hope to the Lost
In Response to Death, We Must Hold onto God’s Promises
In Response to Death, We Must Continue to Live and Encourage Others to Live as Well

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

¹ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 3123–3125). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Kindle Edition.

² Goettche, Bruce. “Sermons on Genesis.” accessed 12/13/14, from http://www.unionchurch.com/archive/071199.html

³ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 3191–3194). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Kindle Edition.

⁴ Guzik, David (2012-12-08). Genesis (Kindle Locations 3704–3707). Enduring Word Media. Kindle Edition.

⁵ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 3215–3218). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

⁶ Stevenson, Mary. “Footprints in the Sand”. Accessed 12/15/14, from http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php

⁷ Swindoll, Charles R. (2014-07-16). Abraham: One Nomad's Amazing Journey of Faith (Kindle Locations 3231–3235). Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Kindle Edition.

Related Topics: Suffering, Trials, Persecution

Appendix 1: Study Group Tips

Related Media

Leading a small group using the Bible Teacher’s Guide can be done in various ways. One format is the “study group” model, where each member prepares and shares in the teaching. This appendix will cover tips for facilitating a weekly study group.

Each week the members of the study group read through a selected chapter of the guide, answer the reflection questions (see Appendix 2), and come prepared to share in the group.
Prior to each meeting, a different member is selected to lead the group and share his answer to Question 1 of the reflection questions, which is a short summary of the chapter read. This section of the gathering could last from five to fifteen minutes. This way, each member can develop his ability to teach and will be motivated to study harder during the week. Or, each week the same person could share the summary.
After the summary has been given, the leader for that week facilitates discussion of the remaining reflection questions and selected questions from the chapter.
After discussion, the group shares prayer requests and members pray for one another.

The strength of the study group is that the members are required to prepare their responses before the meeting, allowing for easier discussion. Another is that each member has the opportunity to further develop his ministry skills through teaching. These are distinct advantages.

You are here

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10. Characteristics of Worldly Believers—Friends of the World (Genesis 19)

Friends of the World Lack Intimacy with God

Friends of the World Lack Generosity in Their Offerings to God

Friends of the World Have Compromised Morals, Especially When Pressured

Friends of the World Sacrifice Their Families for Cultural Status

Friends of the World Lack Spiritual Influence

Friends of the World Are Reluctant to Give up Sin

Friends of the World Are Materialistic

Friends of the World Lack Fear of God

Friends of the World Receive God’s Discipline

Friends of the World Pass Compromise to Their Children

Friends of the World Still Receive God’s Grace and Mercy

1. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s eternal salvation.

2. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s deliverance from judgment.

3. God’s grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s uncle Abraham and his prayers.

4. Grace and mercy are seen in Lot’s prayer for Zoar and its deliverance.

Conclusion

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9. Becoming a Friend of God (Genesis 18)

Friends of God Continually Worship Him

1. We grow in worship as we know God’s characteristics more and therefore his worthiness.

2. We grow in worship by knowing our unworthiness before God.

3. We grow in worship as we recognize God’s hand in everything.

Friends of God Prioritize Time with Him

1. To prioritize time with God, we need to put God first.

2. To prioritize time with God, we need to plan.

3. To prioritize time with God, we must give less time to something else.

Friends of God Are Zealous in Serving Him

1. We grow in zeal by growing in love for God and others.

2. We grow in zeal by being around others who are zealous to serve God.

Friends of God Are Generous in Offerings to Him

Friends of God Inspire Faith in Others

1. We inspire faith in others by living godly lives before them.

2. We inspire faith in others by sharing God’s Word with them.

3. We inspire faith in others by challenging them when they are in sin.

Friends of God Are Growing in the Knowledge of God’s Will

Friends of God Are Intercessors

Conclusion

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8. How to Experience God’s Power in Our Lives (Genesis 17

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Not Discount God’s Ability to Accomplish the Impossible

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Walk Blamelessly before the Lord

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Continually Be Filled with the Holy Spirit

1. We must be indwelled by the Holy Spirit.

2. We must daily be filled with the Holy Spirit.

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Have a Revelation of Our Weakness

To Experience God’s Power, We Must Be Others-Focused

Conclusion

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7. How to Protect Our Family (Genesis 16)

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Influence of Culture

1. Culture many times promotes an unbiblical understanding of gender roles in the marriage union.

2. Culture many times promotes the children over the marriage union.

3. Culture many times promotes promiscuity as acceptable in the marriage union.

4. Culture many times promotes prosperity over the marriage union.

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Enemy’s Common Attack through Intimate Relationships

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Spiritual Blindness from Unconfessed Sin

1. We must continually confess and repent of our sins before God.

2. We must minister to others with humility because of our awareness of sin’s effects.

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Male Passivity

To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of Negative Responses to Trials

1. We must persevere through difficulty.

2. We must overcome evil with good.

To Protect Our Family, We Must Confess Our Problems to the Lord

To Protect Our Family, We Must Submit to the Lord, Understanding that It Leads to Blessing

1. Submitting to God’s will could mean forgiving a family member who hurt us.

2. Submitting to God’s will could mean submitting to family members, even when they are wrong or unjust.

3. Submitting to God’s will could mean faithfully enduring a difficult situation or relationship.

To Protect Our Family, We Must Remember that God Sees and Cares

Conclusion

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Appendix 3: Walking the Romans Road

Step One: We Must Accept that We Are Sinners

Step Two: We Must Understand We Are Under the Judgment of God