“You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders will be subjected to judgment.’ But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment. And whoever insults a brother will be brought before the council, and whoever says ‘Fool’ will be sent to fiery hell. So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift. Reach agreement quickly with your accuser while on the way to court, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge hand you over to the warden, and you will be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will never get out of there until you have paid the last penny!

Matthew 5:21-26 (NET)

How can we maintain peaceful relationships with others?

After the fall in Genesis 3, God prophesied the discord that would occur in human relationships. The wife would desire to control her husband and the husband would try to dominate her (Gen 3:16). This fracture in marriage would spill over into all relationships. In fact, in Genesis 4, we see the first murder, as Cain killed his brother Abel. Paul taught that hatred, discord, fits of rage, dissensions, and factions are part of the sinful nature (Gal 5:20-21). Therefore, we are all prone to discord. Sadly, this discord is often greatest within families, including our church families.

In Matthew 5:21-26, Christ teaches the importance of maintaining peaceful relationships. God is watching and will judge those who live in discord. Christ begins by considering the ultimate fracture of a relationship—murder; then moves to the motive and acts which precede it. As we study Matthew 5:21-26, we’ll learn principles about how to maintain peaceful relationships.

Big Question: What does Matthew 5:21-26 teach about maintaining peaceful relationships?

To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Guard Our Hearts from Evil Thoughts—Including Anger

“You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders will be subjected to judgment.’ But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment…

Matthew 5:21-22

Interpretation Question: What does Christ mean by the phrase, “You have heard that it was said”?

When Christ says, “You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’” he is not referring specifically to the sixth commandment. He is referring to the common misinterpretation by the Jews of the sixth commandment. This is the first of six misinterpretations that Christ will consider in the Sermon on the Mount. By explaining these, Christ teaches the Jews how their righteousness must surpass that of the Pharisees to enter the kingdom of heaven (Matt 5:20).

When interpreting the sixth commandment, the Pharisees and scribes taught that if one had simply not murdered, he had obeyed the law and therefore was right with God. This made people feel holy and prideful, since they had “perfectly” kept God’s law. However, the OT law, properly interpreted, did not only focus on outward observances. All the OT laws can be summarized in two commands—love God and love your neighbor (Matt 22:36-40). They did not just prohibit or command certain actions, they also prohibited and commanded certain heart motives. Essentially, we could ask the question, “If a person plans to murder someone, but at the last moment doesn’t because of fear of consequences or cowardice, is that person still just before God?” The answer is, “No!” God wants righteousness on the inside and not just the outside.

Christ taught that the absence of committing physical murder did not by itself protect a person from God’s judgment. He said, if a person was angry, he would be subject to judgment (v. 21). Though the same word for “judgment” is used in verses 21 and 22, it is not referring to the same judgment. In ancient Israel, if a person committed murder, he would be tried by a human court. The judgment for manslaughter was capital punishment. However, the second “judgment” Christ referred to was God’s. This is clear since no human court can condemn a person for evil motives without the corresponding act. God sees our heart, and he will judge us for anger. Though anger does not have the same consequence as murder, God sees it as murder since it’s the seed of murder. First John 3:15 says, “Everyone who hates his fellow Christian is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.”

Therefore, we have our first principle about how to maintain peaceful relationships. We must guard our hearts from poisonous thoughts and attitudes. In Genesis 4, God counseled Cain to master the sin in his heart, so that he wouldn’t murder his brother, and we must master our sinful hearts as well. Pastor Campbell Morgan rightly said, “The supervision of the Kingdom does not begin by arresting a criminal with blood-red hands; it arrests the man in whom the murder spirit is just born.”¹ To maintain right relationships, we must battle our sin on the heart-level.

Application Question: How can we keep ourselves from anger and other evil attitudes?

1. To keep ourselves from anger, we must test if it is a righteous anger.

When Christ says, “anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment,” some versions add, “anyone who is angry ‘without cause.’” Many ancient manuscripts include this phrase; however, the best and oldest manuscripts do not.² This means some scribe thought to himself, “Christ can’t be excluding all anger since some anger is just.” Though the addition was wrong, the interpretation of the scribe was correct. Scripture does teach that there is a righteous anger. Psalm 7:11 says, “God is a just judge; he is angry throughout the day.” Christ flipped tables and used a whip in the temple when people were being cheated and God dishonored (John 2). He called the Pharisees serpents, hypocrites, and whitewashed tombs because of their false teaching and evil hearts (Matt 23).

Interpretation Question: What is the difference between righteous anger and selfish anger?

Righteous anger is concerned with injustice done towards others and dishonor towards God. Unrighteous anger is concerned only with personal injustice—when people hurt or offend us. When sin came into the world, the natural tendency towards anger in man’s heart, which is part of being made in the image of God, became corrupt. It became consumed with defending self instead of God and others.

Only Christ perfectly demonstrated God’s righteous anger. When others were mistreated, Christ was angry like a lion. When he was mistreated, he was gentle like a lamb. Peter said this about how Christ responded to personal offense: “When he was maligned, he did not answer back; when he suffered, he threatened no retaliation, but committed himself to God who judges justly” (1 Pet 2:23). We must do the same.

Therefore, in order to maintain peaceful relationships, we must test our anger. “Am I angry because others are being hurt and God is being dishonored? Or is this anger just about me being personally offended?” On the cross, Christ prayed for his enemies—asking for God to forgive them—and he died for them. We must bless those who hurt us as well.

2. To keep ourselves from anger, we must recognize that unrighteous anger and thoughts will be judged by God.

Christ taught that judgment would not just happen because of murder, but also because of being angry. God hates the sin in our hearts so much that he will discipline us because of it. Therefore, we must recognize it as a grievous sin. Sadly, we are often just like the Pharisees and scribes. We think as long as we haven’t cursed or slapped somebody then we are OK. No, God hates anger, jealousy, pride, and all wrong attitudes that lead up to discord and ultimately murder. Therefore, we must recognize these wrong attitudes as murderous sins before God.

Are we angry with a friend, relative, or co-worker? We must recognize it as a grievous sin against God—their Creator.

3. To keep ourselves from anger, we must view things from God’s perspective.

When Joseph was approached by his brothers, who originally sold him into slavery, he said, “As for you, you meant to harm me, but God intended it for a good purpose, so he could preserve the lives of many people, as you can see this day” (Gen 50:20). He viewed God as in control of evil and using it for good. It was the same with Job, as he declared, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. May the name of the Lord be blessed!” (Job 1:21). They both saw God in control of all circumstances including the evil of men and demons. In addition, Christ, when he prayed for those who murdered him, said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” He realized that sin and Satan had blinded them. It didn’t make them less responsible, but it did negatively affect them. Similarly, we must see our circumstances from God’s perspective to keep ourselves free from anger. We must recognize God’s sovereignty and the bondage of Satan and sin on this world.

Do you see God as in control of all events, even bad things that happen to you? You can be sure he is using it for your good (Rom 8:28).

4. To keep ourselves from anger, we must constantly repent of it.

Heart sins are more difficult to stop than outward sins. We forgive somebody, but when we see them, all those bad emotions come back. When they talk, sometimes judgmental thoughts flood our hearts: “They are so hypocritical—so insincere! I can’t believe them!” First Corinthians 13:5 (NIV) says love holds “no record of wrongs” or it can be translated love does “not entertain evil thoughts” (Aramaic Bible in Plain English). Therefore, we must constantly repent of sins, and as we do that, God changes our hearts. At times, our ungodly heart motives may be so ingrained in us that we need to confess them to others and seek accountability and prayer, so that we can be free of them (James 5:16).

5. To keep ourselves from anger, we must resist the devil and his accusations.

The title “devil” means “accuser” or “slanderer,” and that is often what Satan does to our hearts. He shoots arrows of suspicion, bitterness, jealousy, and anger at us. In response, we repeat the bad experiences and evil words over and over again in our minds. Therefore, we must not only repent, but we must also resist the devil through prayer and God’s Word (James 4:7). When Satan accuses, we must quote Scripture’s command to “entertain no evil thoughts,” “to hold no record of wrongs,” and “to bless and not curse.” When he tries to stir us to commit evil acts towards them, we must quote Scripture’s command to feed our enemy when they are hungry and give them drink when they are thirsty (Rom 12:20). We must resist the devil by God’s Word and through submitting to God in prayer.

6. To keep ourselves from anger, we must overcome it with acts of love.

Romans 12:21 says: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Not only do we overcome the evil in others by doing good, but also the evil in us. As we act in love, often our emotions follow. Most people simply follow their emotions instead of leading their emotions. As we pray for people and serve them, our hard hearts often become soft hearts.

If we are going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must fight anger and sinful thoughts on the heart-level.

Application Question: Why is it so difficult to guard our hearts from anger and other wrong attitudes? How do you overcome anger? In what ways have you experienced the spiritual warfare of demonic accusations seeking to foster suspicion and bitterness in your heart?

To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Guard Our Tongues from Evil Speech—Including Slander

But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment. And whoever insults a brother will be brought before the council, and whoever says ‘Fool’ will be sent to fiery hell.

Matthew 5:22b

Christ says that not only will wrong heart motives be judged by God, but also wrong speech. Anger is not only the seed of murder, but also the seed of slander and cursing. Typically, slander and cursing come before a murderous act. Two people are angry at one another—leading to verbal accusations and slander, and then physical abuse. Christ says even this second stage will be judged by God.

“Insult” can literally be translated “raca,” which is an Aramaic word meaning “empty.”³ It was like calling somebody a dummy, block-head, or a nobody. “Fool” means “stupid” or “dull.” We get the word “moron” from this Greek word.⁴ To the ancients, this word had moral and religious overtones. Psalm 14:1 says, “Fools say to themselves, ‘There is no God.’ They sin and commit evil deeds; none of them does what is right.” Because these people reject God, they live ungodly lives. They were vile people. “Raca” was primarily an attack on a person’s intellect and “fool” was an attack on a person’s character.

Christ said that to call somebody “Raca” would lead to their being taken before the “council.” “Council” can be translated “Sanhedrin” or “supreme court.” It referred to the highest court in the land that dealt with only the most serious offenses. To call somebody “fool” would lead to “hell.” Christ wants us to understand God takes cursing and slandering others seriously. James 4:11 says, “Do not speak against one another, brothers and sisters…” We are not to murder people with our hands, hearts, or our words. The name “devil” actually means “slanderer.” When we curse others and gossip about them, we are doing Satan’s work, and God will judge us for it. God hates murder including the heart attitude and actions leading up to it. All animosity will lead to judgment and ultimately hell.⁵

Therefore, to maintain peaceful relationships, we must not only guard our hearts but our tongue. Our tongue commonly destroys relationships. James describes how the tongue is like a destructive fire. Though a match is little, it can destroy a whole forest (James 3:5-6). Many friendships, marriages, and other family relationships have been destroyed by unwise words. Wars have been started. Therefore, we must learn how to guard our tongue.

Application Question: How can we guard our tongues?

1. To guard our tongues, we must be slow to speak.

Proverbs 17:27 says, “The truly wise person restrains his words.” Wise people restrain their words. They realize how dangerous they are. Proverbs 18:21 says the power of life and death is in the tongue. Unrestrained words can destroy a person, a relationship, and a community. Therefore, wise people always consider their words. “If I say this, what will be the effect?” Many times, they simply choose to say nothing at all.

Are you controlling your tongue or simply speaking whatever is on your heart? Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool expresses all his emotions but a wise person controls them” (God’s Word Translation).

2. To guard our tongues, we must only speak gracious and edifying words.

Colossians 4:6 says: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer everyone.” It promises that if our conversations are full of grace—meaning that we bless people with our words even when they don’t deserve it—and also, if they are seasoned with salt—meaning that we turn conversations from perverse or ungodly talk to something edifying—then we will know how to answer everyone. It seems that when we choose to only speak for God, he will give us the words to say in various situations. On the reverse, if we don’t practice godly talk—we’re prone to sexual jokes, criticism, and complaining—then we won’t know how to answer people in a godly way. Essentially, whatever we practice, we’ll become good at in our lives.

Are you only speaking words that edify others?

3. To guard our tongues, we must remember that God will judge our words.

Again, Christ says that ungodly language will be judged by God—even landing some in hell. They don’t go to hell because of their words. Their words prove that they have never been saved. They give insight into what’s truly in their hearts. Good fruit comes from a good heart and bad fruit from a bad heart (Matt 12:33-35).

Jesus taught that not only will God judge our ungodly words but also idle ones (Matt 12:36). We are made in the image of God and there is the power of life and death in our tongues. We must use them properly; if not, God will judge us.

4. To guard our tongues, we must submit them to God.

James 3:7-8 says, “For every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and sea creature is subdued and has been subdued by humankind. But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” No human can tame the tongue, only God can. Therefore, we must submit it to God. We must confess our sins and ask for God’s grace to control our tongues and use them for his glory. In Psalm 141:3, David said, “O Lord, place a guard on my mouth! Protect the opening of my lips!” We must also walk in the Spirit through spiritual disciplines, so we will produce the fruit of the Spirit which includes self-control (Gal 5:16, 22-23).

Are you guarding your tongue, or are you tearing people down with your words—slandering their intelligence and character? If so, you must remember God will judge such improprieties. To slander the creature is to slander his Creator. If we’re going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must guard our speech.

Application Question: Why is the tongue so hard to control? In what ways do you struggle with your tongue? In what ways have you experienced destruction in a family, friendship, or community because of unrestrained tongues?

To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Recognize that Discord Hinders Our Relationship with God

So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24

Next, Christ focuses on the effect of wrong relationships on worship. For the Pharisees and scribes, everything was centered around worship. “They spent much time in the synagogues and in the Temple. They made sacrifices, offered prayers, gave tithes, and carried on religious activities of every sort. But it was all heartless external ceremony.”⁶ In the illustration of one offering a gift at the altar, Christ demonstrated that right relationships with others are necessary to have a right relationship with God. To come to worship and offer sacrifices without practicing love in our relationships is simply an outward act with an evil heart. Paul said it this way, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Cor 13:1). Worship without love for God and others is just noise to God—a clanging cymbal. There is nothing redeeming about our worship if we’re allowing our relationships to stay in discord and unresolved tension. Sadly, this happens often. Pastors fight with their wives and children before coming to worship. Because of a fight, members won’t even look at one another at church or in a small group. This is not true worship; it is just pretense. We cannot have a right relationship with God without right relationships with others. Christ taught that if others were upset with us, we should leave worship, fix that relationship, and then return.

Scripture teaches that one’s horizontal relationships always reflect his or her vertical relationship. Christ said that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us (Matt 6:15). First John 4:20 says: “If anyone says ‘I love God’ and yet hates his fellow Christian, he is a liar, because the one who does not love his fellow Christian whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

If we claim to love and worship God and yet are in discord with others, our worship is fake—we’re just liars. If we really love God, we will go and seek reconciliation with others, so we can truly worship God and receive his blessing.

Peter said something similar to husbands in 1 Peter 3:7. “Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as the weaker partners and show them honor as fellow heirs of the grace of life. In this way nothing will hinder your prayers.” Essentially, Peter taught that discord hinders the prayers of a husband and wife. They may pray but their prayers hit the ceiling—they are ineffective. We must recognize that it’s the same with us.

If we’re going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must realize that discord negatively affects our relationship with God and therefore our ministry to others. Holding on to unforgiveness means that he will not forgive our sins. It makes our prayers ineffective and our offerings as well. If we really want a right relationship with God and his blessing, we will seek to maintain peaceful relationships.

Application Question: In what ways have you experienced how discord hinders your relationship with God—whether in prayer, worship, meditation, or serving? Why are our relationships with others so important to God?

To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Seek to Resolve Conflicts Quickly

Reach agreement quickly with your accuser while on the way to court, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge hand you over to the warden, and you will be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will never get out of there until you have paid the last penny!

Matthew 5:25-26

Christ leaves the illustration of worship, and then uses a legal illustration. It was common in those days that if a person owed a debt but didn’t pay it, a plaintiff would take him to court. On the way to court, the accused could make amends with the plaintiff; but once the case had started it was out of their hands and in the hands of the judge. If the accused was found guilty, he was put into prison until the debt was paid.⁷ Typically, relatives would have to help pay bail or the bill while the person was incarcerated.

Christ’s point is unmistakable: We are to make every effort, with no delay, to reconcile our relationship with a brother or sister so we can avoid God’s discipline. Sadly, discord between friends, relatives, and associates often lasts for years. When this happens, there are great consequences to the unforgiving party. These consequences include hurt, the deepening of strongholds, and the loss of joy and relationships, but there is much more. In Matthew 18:21-35, Christ gave a similar illustration in the Parable of the Merciless Servant. A master had forgiven a servant a great debt; however, this same servant chose not to forgive a fellow servant of a lesser debt. Therefore, the master handed the merciless servant over to jailors to be tortured until he paid the debt. Christ spoke to his disciples saying that God would do the same to them if they didn’t forgive from the heart (v. 35).

These torturers probably picture demons. We see God discipline his people through Satan or demons several times in Scripture: Saul was handed over to a tormenting spirit for his sins (1 Sam 16:14). The man committing sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 5:5 was handed over to Satan. The two false teachers in 1 Timothy 1:20 were handed over to Satan as well. When we choose sin over God, we open the door for demonic torment. It may manifest in many ways—sickness, depression, discord, and other difficulties (see Job).

Again, in order to avoid God’s discipline, we must seek to reconcile as fast as possible. The longer we delay, the more opportunities we allow for Satan to attack us. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “‘Be angry and do not sin’; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity.” Ephesians 4:3 says, “making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Don’t delay! Don’t give Satan a foot-hold in your life, your friendship, your marriage, or your church! Work hard to reconcile! Sadly, many don’t give zealous effort to reconcile—allowing Satan to afflict both themselves and others.

If we are going to maintain peaceful relationships, we must make every effort to reconcile quickly. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people.”

Application Question: What steps should people take to seek reconciliation?

1. Believers should humble themselves by asking for forgiveness and offering forgiveness. This includes providing restitution for any wrongs we might have done. If we gossiped to others, we should confess our wrongs to them. If we stole, we should restore what was stolen or equivalent.
2. Believers should return good for evil. This means serving them, speaking well of them, and loving them, even when evil is returned. Romans 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” By sowing good seeds, we will often reap a good harvest. However, returning wrong for wrong only leads to further destruction.
3. Believers should be patient. Galatians 6:9 says, “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” Though we should quickly seek reconciliation, God is the one who changes hearts. We must patiently wait on him. We’ll reap if we don’t faint.

Application Question: Why is it important to seek reconciliation quickly? Share a story about some discord that God resolved. Are there any current relationships God is calling you to reconcile?

Conclusion

How can we maintain peaceful relationships with others?

1. To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Guard Our Hearts from Evil Thoughts—Including Anger
2. To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Guard Our Tongues from Evil Speech—Including Slander
3. To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Recognize that Discord Hinders Our Relationship with God
4. To Maintain Peaceful Relationships, We Must Seek to Resolve Conflicts Quickly

Copyright © 2019 Gregory Brown

Unless otherwise noted, the primary Scriptures used are taken from the NET Bible ® copyright © 1996-2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

BTG Publishing all rights reserved.

¹ Guzik, D. (2013). Matthew (Mt 5:21–22). Santa Barbara, CA: David Guzik.

² Stott, J. R. W., & Stott, J. R. W. (1985). The message of the Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7): Christian counter-culture (pp. 83–84). Leicester; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

³ Carson, D. A. (1999). Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount and His Confrontation with the World: An Exposition of Matthew 5–10 (p. 43). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.

⁴ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 295). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁵ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (p. 101). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁶ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 296). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁷ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 298). Chicago: Moody Press.

“It was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a legal document.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31-32 (NET)

How can we protect our marriages?

In the previous passage, Matthew 5:27-28, Christ corrected the Pharisees’ view on adultery saying that if one lusted in his heart, he had already committed adultery. Here in Matthew 5:31-32, he corrects their permissive view of divorce. Essentially, the Pharisees legalized adultery by allowing themselves and others to simply get a divorce and remarry the person they desired. Divorces were very common in ancient Israel and in the ancient world in general. “The first-century [Roman] poet Martial speaks of women who have been ten times divorced.”¹ Over 400 years earlier, in the book of Malachi, God rebuked the Israelites over this very issue. He said:

Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

Malachi 2:13-16 (NIV)

The people in Israel were wondering why God rejected their worship. He told them that it was because of the prevalence of divorce in their culture. He describes divorce as bringing “violence” in the home (v. 16). He also implies that divorce hurts the children by making them rebellious. In the middle of this passage, he says, “And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth” (v. 15). God desires godly children; therefore, the Israelites should stay faithful to their wives instead of divorcing them.

The reality of children experiencing long term negative effects from divorce is well attested. In 1979, former Harvard Medical School psychiatrist, Armand Nicoli, said this:

If people suffering from severe nonorganic emotional illness have one experience in common, it is the absence of a parent through death, divorce, or some other cause. A parent’s inaccessibility, either physically, emotionally, or both, can profoundly influence a child’s emotional health. (“The Fractured Family: Following It into the Future,” Christianity Today, 25 May 1979)²

He continues, as quoted by John MacArthur:

“The trend toward quick and easy divorce, and the ever-increasing divorce rate, subject more and more children to physically and emotionally absent parents.” If the trend is not reversed, he says, “the quality of family life will continue to deteriorate, producing a society with a higher incidence of mental illness than ever before.”³

Certainly, this is what we are seeing today. Children often struggle with great anxieties, depression, and other maladies which come from the absence of one or both parents. Lack of parental affection and guidance can often lead to acts of rebellion like joining gangs, abusing drugs, and other criminal activity. God desires godly offspring, so we must remain faithful to our spouses.

Divorce was not only common in the ancient world, it is common in modern times. Sadly, it has become almost fashionable. I once read a bumper sticker that said, “I am always right; ask my ex-wives.” Around fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. “Some surveys indicate that eight of ten people are either directly or indirectly affected by divorce.”⁴ The mere mention of the word “divorce” brings painful memories and feelings to many people. It was an epidemic during Christ’s time, and it is an epidemic now. Therefore, Christ speaks right to this issue in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount.

How can we protect our marriages, spouses, and children? As we study this text, we will learn principles about protecting our marriages in a culture of divorce.

Big Question: What principles about protecting marriages can be discerned from Matthew 5:31-32?

To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Be Delivered from Permissive Views about Divorce

“It was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a legal document.’

Matthew 5:31

Interpretation Question: What exactly were the Pharisees and scribes teaching about divorce?

When Christ said, “It was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a legal document,’” he is continuing to correct the Pharisees’ misinterpretations of the law. This particularly referred to Deuteronomy 24:1-4 which gave instructions about divorcing one’s wife. It says:

If a man marries a woman and she does not please him because he has found something offensive in her, then he may draw up a divorce document, give it to her, and evict her from his house. When she has left him she may go and become someone else’s wife. If the second husband rejects her and then divorces her, gives her the papers, and evicts her from his house, or if the second husband who married her dies, her first husband who divorced her is not permitted to remarry her after she has become ritually impure, for that is offensive to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

This passage was meant to protect the wife; the husband couldn’t just leave her on a whim and then try to take her back later. Divorce had to be legal. This meant the husband needed to think long and hard about leaving his wife. The law was meant to hinder divorce, not promote it.

The interpretation of this passage became a matter of contention among the Jews. It all centered around the phrase “something offensive.” If a husband found “something offensive” in his wife, he could give her a divorce document. What does “something offensive” mean? The phrase can be translated “some matter of nakedness”; however, it doesn’t always refer to something sexual (Gen 2:25, 3:7, 10). It could simply refer to “some shameful thing.”⁵ In the first century, there were two schools of thought on this. The conservative school, led by Rabbi Shammai, believed it referred to something sexual, but short of adultery. It couldn’t refer to adultery since adultery required capital punishment in the Old Testament (Lev 20:10; Deut 22:22). Rabbi Hillel taught the liberal view that it could refer to anything dissatisfying to the husband, including burning his breakfast.⁶ Rabbi Akiba, who also came from the liberal school of thought, taught that a husband could even divorce his wife if he found someone prettier.⁷

During this time frame, the predominant view held was the liberal one—that a man could divorce his wife essentially for any reason.⁸ The only thing needed was an official divorce certificate. It was all about one’s personal decision and the paper, as if a paper could truly dissolve a marriage. It was this misinterpretation of the law that Christ was correcting.

Sadly, this is also the predominant view in the present world and often in the church. Marriage is all about happiness and as soon as one loses happiness, he or she should consider divorce. When a struggling couple gets marital counseling from friends, family, and sometimes the church, they ask the magic question, “What will make you happy?” If it’s being separated from your spouse, then do it. “Life is too short!” they say. However, that wasn’t Christ’s view, and it shouldn’t be ours either.

Marriage is not about our happiness alone; it is more about our holiness and building God’s kingdom. God gave Adam a wife, in part, because it wasn’t good for him to be alone. He needed a helper (Gen 2:18). But the other reason God gave Adam a wife was for them to oversee God’s kingdom together (Gen 1:28). God ordained marriage, and it is chiefly about serving God and building his kingdom.

This view is expanded in the New Testament as marriage is described as a spiritual gift meant to build up the body of Christ and to advance his kingdom. Consider what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:7:

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me--a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others. (The Message)

Here Paul taught that marriage is a spiritual gift, even as singleness is. And since all gifts are meant to build up God’s body and his kingdom (cf. 1 Cor 12:7), a godly marriage is a powerful weapon for God’s kingdom. The fact that marriages are meant to build God’s kingdom and give God glory makes them a constant target of the evil one (cf. 1 Cor 7:3-5). If Satan can pervert marriages or destroy them, he can hinder the advance of God’s kingdom and diminish the glory God should receive.

Again, in order to protect our marriage, we must rid ourselves of false views about marriage. From God’s perspective, a person’s choice and a piece of paper alone can’t end a marriage union. God ordained marriage for his glory, and he also ordained what ends a marriage.

Well, what is a proper perspective on marriage and divorce?

Application Question: In what ways have you seen a permissive view of divorce in our culture? What are its negative effects on couples, children, friends, and society in general? How have you been affected by divorce?

To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Understand God’s Original Plan for Marriage

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:32

Implied in Christ’s limited view on what can actually sever a marriage covenant is the fact that divorce mars God’s original plan for marriage. He declares that unbiblical divorce leads to the remarried partner committing adultery. This means that though the State may recognize some marriages as being dissolved through divorce, God doesn’t. God’s intent was for the marriage union to last. In Matthew 19:3-6, Christ makes this clear when speaking to the Pharisees about divorce:

Then some Pharisees came to him in order to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful to divorce a wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

In marriage, a couple separates from their family and becomes one flesh—they become a separate unit or entity. In fact, marriages are meant to model the unity in the God-head. Genesis 1:27 says, “God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.” Man and woman were both made in the image of God, but this image was especially seen in their marriage union. In the same way that the God-head is a plural which is one—the Trinity—the marriage union is a plural which is one—two becoming one flesh (Gen 2:24). In fact, even the functionality of the God-head is meant to be seen in the union. First Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” Though there is equality in the God-head, there is also authority and submission. In marriage, this is modeled; the wife submits to her husband in the same way that Christ submits to God. The husband resembles God’s authority, and the wife resembles Christ’s submission. The husband and wife are co-equal but with different functions. Finally, the marriage relationship models the God-head not only in its unity and function, but also its permanence. What God joins, let no one separate. This union is meant to demonstrate something of the God-head’s permanence which is Christ’s focus in Matthew 19:3-6.

Therefore, when marriages are in discord and dysfunction, they mar the image of God—pushing people, especially the children, away from God. To protect our marriages, we must understand God’s original plan for them. They are meant to model the God-head—in unity, function, and permanence. Without a proper view of something, it will always be abused.

Another comment on the lasting unity of marriage is necessary. First Corinthians 7:3-5 says,

A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband. It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

In talking about the importance of the sexual union where a married couple becomes one flesh (cf. 1 Cor 6:16), Paul tells couples to not deprive each other, except for spiritual reasons and a specified time, in order to protect themselves from Satan. The implication of this is that couples need to live together and develop intimacy as a protection for their union. They should not be separated for long periods of time because it opens the door for the enemy. It might be thought that this doesn’t need to be said, but in many cultures, husbands and wives are often more focused on career and comfort than the health of their marriage. They will separate for long periods of time—couples living in different states and even continents. Others live together but really never spend quality time together because of work and other commitments. They often go to different churches, work different shifts, enjoy different hobbies, and therefore are never physically together. Again, this opens the door for Satan to try to destroy what God has joined for his glory. This type of danger should be avoided at all cost. Sadly, many couples live like they’re functionally divorced, as they no longer live together or spend significant time together at all—opening the door for a plethora of attacks from Satan to sever the marriage.

Again, if we don’t know the purpose of something, we will abuse it. What God has put together, let no one put asunder. We should strive to protect the unity that God has given in marriage. Those who neglect this unity and intimacy commonly open the door for Satan to destroy it permanently.

Implied in Christ’s statements about unbiblical divorce is the importance of knowing God’s original plan for the marriage union—in brief, its unity models the God-head and was meant to last.

Application Question: Why is it so important for couples to know God’s plan for marriage? What are some other aspects of God’s plan for marriage that should direct and guide it? In what ways is it becoming common for married couples to not live together or spend significant time together because of career or other reasons? What makes this dangerous?

To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Understand What Breaks the Marriage Covenant

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:32

Interpretation Question: What does Christ mean by the exception clause of sexual immorality?

Next, Christ describes what breaks the marriage covenant. There is a lot of controversy over the exception clause of sexual immorality. This word “immorality” refers to any kind of illicit sex including fornication, adultery, bestiality, incest, etc.⁹ When used in reference to the marriage union, it refers specifically to adultery. Christ taught that any divorce not caused by adultery, ultimately leads the woman into adultery. This means that she will most likely remarry, and therefore be in a continual state of adultery. Adultery breaks the marriage covenant. When this happens, the innocent party may seek a divorce and remarriage—though it’s not the ideal; however, the guilty party should seek reconciliation or remain single.

This is also true in cases where divorce is probably prudent for a husband or a wife, though there is no infidelity. Even when one divorces a spouse who is physically/verbally abusive or addicted to alcohol and gambling, he or she should remain single or be reconciled. The certificate of divorce alone does not break the marriage covenant before God. First Corinthians 7:10-11 makes this clear. It says:

To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife should not divorce a husband (but if she does, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband), and a husband should not divorce his wife.

Sometimes “divorce” is translated “separate.” However, the NET translates it “divorce” correctly, as Christ used the same word in the context of divorce in Matthew 19:6. He said, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Therefore, when Christ taught that only sexual immorality broke the marriage covenant, he agreed with the conservative train of thought on Deuteronomy 24:1-4. However, because he referred specifically to adultery, as an aspect of sexual immorality, he went even farther than the OT law did. Here Christ is not only correcting the common Jewish misinterpretations of the law (that only a certificate was needed and that it could be done for any reason) but also establishing the radical righteousness of his kingdom (cf. Mk 7:17-19). Again, the OT required that an adulterer be put to death (Lev. 20:10; Deut. 22:22). However, under the New Covenant, death is not required.

The fact that Christ changes this requirement is clearly seen in John 8:1-11. In that passage, the Pharisees bring a woman accused of adultery to Christ and say, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone to death such women. What then do you say?” (v. 4-5). Christ replies, “Whoever among you is guiltless may be the first to throw a stone at her” (v. 7). Each of the accusers, feeling convicted, left one by one. Then, Christ pardons her and says, “do not sin any more” (v. 11). Christ adds mercy to the OT requirement. He doesn’t require the death of an adulterer, but he does require the adulterer to repent.

If we are going to protect our marriages, we must understand what severs them. When a couple gets married, they become one flesh (Gen 2:24). According to Scripture, it is a physical union; therefore, only something physical can break it. There are two things that break the marriage union: The first one is death. When one mate dies, the living mate is free to marry another. Romans 7:2-3 says:

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of the marriage. So then, if she is joined to another man while her husband is alive, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she is joined to another man, she is not an adulteress.

Secondly, as Christ teaches here in Matthew 5:32, adultery also breaks the marriage covenant. In that case, the innocent party could choose to leave that relationship and marry another, while the guilty party should seek reconciliation or remain single.

However, with that said, Scripture indicates that it is God’s desire for the innocent party to forgive the offender and to also seek reconciliation. This is clearly displayed in God’s call on Hosea’s life. God told the prophet Hosea to marry a woman who would eventually become a prostitute and cheat on him. God was going to use Hosea’s marriage to display his commitment and love for Israel, who had been unfaithful to him through worshipping false gods. Hosea 3:1 says:

The Lord said to me, “Go, show love to your wife again, even though she loves another man and continually commits adultery. Likewise, the Lord loves the Israelites although they turn to other gods and love to offer raisin cakes to idols.”

After Hosea’s wife had left him and cheated on him, he sought to restore their relationship in obedience to God. Marriages are always meant to display God’s glory, even when unfaithfulness is involved. This seems to be God’s ideal when adultery occurs. The innocent party, instead of standing on his or her rights for divorce, should humbly pray and persevere in seeking reconciliation. If the guilty spouse will not reconcile, then the innocent spouse may choose to divorce and remarry.

Interpretation Question: Are there any other exceptions which break the marriage covenant and therefore allow for remarriage?

There is no universal agreement on this:

1. Some believe that when a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever leaves, the believer is free to remarry.

In 1 Corinthians 7:12 and 15, Paul says:

To the rest I say—I, not the Lord—if a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is happy to live with him, he should not divorce her… But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace.

Those who believe this would say the phrase “not bound” means that the person is “not bound in marriage.” The marriage is broken, and therefore, the believer is free to remarry.¹⁰ Those who reject this view argue that it doesn’t fit the context. “Not bound” probably refers to not being bound to continually seek reconciliation if an unbeliever leaves.¹¹ This fits with the context of Paul’s command in the previous verse. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, he says,

To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife should not divorce a husband (but if she does, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband), and a husband should not divorce his wife.

In addition, this exception would not only apply to the case where two unbelievers are married and one gets saved. It would also apply when a believer marries an unbeliever in disobedience to Scripture (cf. 1 Cor 7:39). This would seem to reward a disobedient believer. With that said, if an unbeliever leaves, most likely, he or she will remarry which then breaks the covenant any way.

2. Some believe that when a person divorces before coming to Christ, and later is saved, they are then free to remarry.

If the previous view is correct (that a believer is free to remarry after the desertion of an unbeliever), then this second view seems to be a logical conclusion.¹² Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away—look, what is new has come!”

3. Some believe that there are no exceptions which allow remarriage after divorce.

Those who believe this would say that the word Christ used for “immorality” refers only to fornication. The word “porneia,” from which we get the English word pornography, originally referred only to pre-marital sex. Christ did not use the typical word for adultery, which would refer to extra-marital sex. Therefore, they believe this referred to the betrothal stage in Israel. If a person cheats during this stage, then, and only then, is the other person free to remarry. For instance, Joseph and Mary were betrothed—which was a legal engagement in those days. In the betrothal stage, the couple had not yet consummated and were waiting for the time of marriage. Like marriage, the betrothal stage required a certificate of divorce when ending the union. In addition, if a person cheated on his or her fiancée during this stage, the consequence was capital punishment (Deut 22:23-24). Therefore, those who take this view believe that there are currently no valid divorces before God, which allow for remarriage. Christ’s provision only applied to the betrothal stage, which isn’t practiced in most cultures today. To remarry after divorce always leads to adultery.

However, there are some weaknesses to this view: First, the word “porneia” eventually was used to not only describe fornication but all types of illicit sex, including adultery.¹³ Second, in ancient Israel, betrothal was considered the same as marriage. While Joseph was engaged to Mary, he was called her husband. Matthew 1:19 says, “Because Joseph, her husband to be, was a righteous man, and because he did not want to disgrace her, he intended to divorce her privately.” Deuteronomy 22:23-24 (ESV) also uses the title “wife” during the betrothal stage. Plus, the fact that God required the same punishment for sexual immorality both during the betrothal period and the marriage union (Deut 22:23-24, Lev 20:10), proves that God viewed the betrothal stage the same as a consummated marriage. Therefore, the exception for sexual immorality should not be limited to the betrothal stage. In the OT, immorality in either state broke the marriage covenant, as the offender was stoned and the innocent party was free to remarry.

Application Question: Why are God’s requirements for marriage so strict?

The regulations for marriage are strict in order to discourage divorce. In a society with no regulations and no fault in regards to divorce, it has become rampant and an attractive option in a difficult marriage. Scripture teaches marriage is a covenant which should reflect God’s covenant with us. Even when we fail him and turn our backs on him, he remains faithful to us because of his covenant. When couples get married, they must remember the fact that it is a life-long covenant. This should also encourage singles to be more discerning in who they marry.

Application Question: How should the church respond to those considering a divorce?

We must walk with them and pray with them. We must help them understand what Scripture teaches about divorce. God hates it (Mal 2:16, NASB). And as a general principle, it is typically God’s purpose for us to persevere in trials, as they test and develop our faith. Also, it is while persevering in doing good that God produces a harvest if we don’t faint (Gal 6:9). Most times it is God’s will for us to faithfully persevere in trials, including a difficult marriage, as it will change us and eventually them.

With that said, we must share that there are times divorce should be considered. God gave Israel a certificate of divorce (Jer 3:8). Therefore, not all divorce is wrong or sin. Christ taught that there are valid divorces in the case of adultery. Also, there may be times when divorce is wise if remaining married leads to a greater evil—such as when a spouse and the children are in physical danger. In those cases, they should seek prayer and the counsel of godly saints, including their elders, to discern what is best. If they divorce, they should remain single and continue to pray for the erring spouse. As mentioned, in most cases, the erring spouse will remarry which then breaks the marriage covenant and allows the innocent spouse to remarry.

Application Question: How should the church respond to those who have gotten a divorce?

We should make clear that divorce is not an unforgivable sin. Christ died for every one of our sins, and God’s love and grace are often experienced in even greater ways in our failures. Where sin increases, grace increases all the more (Rom 5:20). As the church, Christ’s body, we must love and comfort those who have suffered through a divorce. We must help them understand that God doesn’t throw anything away. He uses everything for our good and his glory (cf. Rom 8:28, Eph 1:11). Often from our greatest struggles, comes our greatest ministries. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says,

Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Application Question: Which view of divorce and remarriage seems to have the most biblical support to you and why? What is the weakness of the views you reject?

Conclusion

With the advent of sin, marriage has been severely damaged, and sadly, most, in some way or another, have been affected by divorce. How can we protect our marriages?

1. To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Be Delivered from Permissive Views about Divorce
2. To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Understand God’s Original Plan for Marriage
3. To Protect Our Marriages, We Must Understand What Breaks the Marriage Covenant

Copyright © 2019 Gregory Brown

Unless otherwise noted, the primary Scriptures used are taken from the NET Bible ® copyright © 1996-2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

BTG Publishing all rights reserved.

¹ Green, M. (2001). The message of Matthew: the kingdom of heaven (p. 95). Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

² MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 308). Chicago: Moody Press.

³ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 308). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁴ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (pp. 113–114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁵ Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 70). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

⁶ Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 70). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

⁷ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (p. 114). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁸ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 309). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁹ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (pp. 116–117). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

¹⁰ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (pp. 119–120). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

¹¹ MacDonald, W. (1995). Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments. (A. Farstad, Ed.) (p. 1768). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

¹² Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (p. 120). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

¹³ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (pp. 116–117). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist the evildoer. But whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. And if someone wants to sue you and to take your tunic, give him your coat also. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to the one who asks you, and do not reject the one who wants to borrow from you.

Matthew 5:38-42 (NET)

How should we respond towards personal injustice—when people hurt and offend us? Scripture teaches that the Christian response must be very different from the world’s.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ teaches about the righteousness of kingdom citizens. He said in Matthew 5:20 that if our righteousness doesn’t surpass the righteousness of the teachers of the law and Pharisees, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Then Christ describes six misinterpretations of the Old Testament law by Israel’s teachers. He considered murder (Matt 5:21-26), adultery (Matt 5:27-30), divorce (Matt 5:31-32), and oaths (Matt 5:33-37). In Matthew 5:38-42, he considers the fifth misinterpretation of the law—“eye for eye” and next he’ll consider “hate your enemy” (Matt 5:43-48). The Pharisees’ teachings on all these subjects were incorrect. On each of these, they lessened the standard of God’s law. They did the same with the OT’s teaching on “eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.”

“Eye for eye and tooth for tooth” was a fundamental principle of OT civil law. It taught that the punishment must fit the crime. This principle was the basis of many ancient laws including the Code of Hammurabi, which was written over 100 years before the Mosaic law¹, and it is the basis of the legal system today. In Latin, it is called lex talionis; it is the same idea found in the expressions “tit for tat” or “quid pro quo.”² As with all the OT law, it represented God’s righteousness and was a good law. It was especially good because it allowed for fairness in the administration of justice and it restrained man’s sinful nature. Typically, when somebody hurts us, we want more than an eye for eye. The selfish anger inside of us typically wants a face or a body for an eye. We saw this in the story of the rape of Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, by a Hivite (Gen 34). When the brothers’ heard about this, instead of taking the culprit to court and seeking an equal punishment, they killed all the men from the culprit’s village. They took much more than an eye for an eye. Blood feuds like this were common in the ancient world. Therefore, God’s law restrained sin.

Interpretation Question: How were the Jewish teachers of the law abusing the OT law, “Eye for eye and tooth for tooth”?

“Eye for eye and tooth for tooth” was never to be judged and implemented by individuals. It was always meant to go before the court system. Exodus 21:22-25 says:

“If men fight and hit a pregnant woman and her child is born prematurely, but there is no serious injury, he will surely be punished in accordance with what the woman’s husband demands of him, and he will pay what the court decides. But if there is serious injury, then you will give a life for a life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.

The punishment for hurting this pregnant woman and potentially her baby had to be agreed upon by not only the husband but the court. The court would approve a punishment equal to the crime—eye for eye, tooth for tooth. It is worth noting that if the baby had died, the punishment would have been life for life. God reckoned the baby as an adult life, which disagrees with abortion laws in most countries.

The Pharisees applied the law of “eye for eye” not only to courts, but to personal relationships, which only justified the natural sin within the human heart. However, we as believers are not to be identified by obeying our sinful nature but our new nature. We are to live as citizens of heaven on earth. How then should we respond when others hurt us? Essentially, it could be summarized by simply saying, we must give up our rights. In the following verses, Christ describes four ways that we should give up our rights when wrongs are committed against us. These four examples probably have specific applications to being persecuted for our faith. In Matthew 5:10, Christ said, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them.” If we model the characteristics of the kingdom as seen in the Sermon on the Mount, we will be hated and persecuted by this world. And our response, on a personal level, should not be fighting for our rights—seeking an eye for an eye—but sacrificing our rights, even as Christ did on this earth when he went to the cross.

The teachings in this passage are some of the most abused verses in Scripture. Some have used these verses to support pacifism—the belief that any violence, including war, is unjustifiable. This has led some believers to not join the military, serve as policemen, work in government, or even practice self-defense. This passage has even been used to promote lawlessness and anarchy. Are these applications correct? As we study this passage, we’ll consider four ways believers should respond to personal injustice.

Big Question: What rights must Christians be willing to give up as they serve Christ and respond towards wrongs committed against them?

Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Retaliation

But I say to you, do not resist the evildoer. But whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well.

Matthew 5:39

Interpretation Question: Does “do not resist the evildoer” mean that we should never resist evil or an evil person?

Some have said that “do not resist the evildoer” means that Christians should not resist evil at all in society—again not allowing a Christian to serve in the military or the justice system. However, when this verse is compared with other Scriptures, we know that this is a wrong interpretation. Even in this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Christ is confronting the Pharisees’ wrong teachings on the law. He is resisting evil. He did the same in John 2, when he went into the temple, flipped tables, and ran the people out who were cheating the worshipers. Most of the epistles are Christ’s apostles resisting evil and evil people, as they wrote to correct false teaching and false teachers. In fact, Christ commanded believers to resist evil among fellow church members. In Matthew 18:15-17, he said when someone is in sin, we should confront him first one on one, then with two or three others, and if he still won’t repent, it should be brought before the church. And if the person still clings to his sin, he should be removed from the congregation. To obey Christ, Christians must, in fact, resist evil! It’s part of their call as salt and light in the world. They are to expose and remove darkness.

To further support the need to resist evil people, Romans 13:1-7 says that God instituted government for that very purpose—to punish wrongdoers and reward those who do good. Romans 13:4 says: “For it is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be in fear, for it does not bear the sword in vain. It is God’s servant to administer retribution on the wrongdoer.”

Though Matthew 5:39 is often used to promote pacifism—the belief that all violence, including war, is unjustifiable—that interpretation contradicts the rest of Scripture. Throughout the OT, God called nations and court systems to punish others for their sins. Even Israel was sent to Canaan for a holy war to bring God’s judgment on a wicked people. And the NT teaches that governments and nations still play that role today. Because of this, there is something that theologians call a “just war.” For example, when a nation is committing genocide by wiping out people groups or minorities, it is just to stop them, even if violence is necessary. It is just and merciful. Therefore, we should commonly pray for our leaders, as they seek to bring peace nationally and throughout the world (1 Timothy 2:1-4), and we should consider whether God is calling us to serve among them. God is still calling Josephs, Joshuas, Moseses, Davids, and Daniels to serve in government—to protect people, bless them, and at times, to wisely execute justice.

Therefore, Christ is not commanding believers to never resist an evil person, and he certainly is not forbidding the government and court system from executing justice. This is made clear by the next phrase: “To the person who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other as well.” Christ was forbidding personal retaliation, not civil justice. He was dealing with how we respond when evil is committed against us personally. In that case, we should give up our right to retaliate and instead respond gently. His teaching doesn’t mean we should never call the police or seek justice from an authority. (We’ll talk more about this later). It means it is not our right to exact justice.

Interpretation Question: Does Christ’s command to turn the other cheek mean that we should never defend ourselves if somebody tries to physically assault us?

No, that doesn’t seem to be the cultural meaning of his statement. When Christ refers to being slapped on the right cheek, he is not referring to being physically attacked. To be slapped on the right cheek, one would need to use the back of one’s right hand (as most people are right handed), which was culturally considered a deep insult. According to rabbinical law, being slapped with the back of the hand was twice more offensive than being slapped with an open hand.³ It was like being called a nothing and, in context, it probably referred to being called a heretic.⁴ Again, Christ is probably referring to being persecuted for the faith, as demonstrated by Matthew 5:10-12. Following Christ often led to persecution. A Christian might have been slapped and shamed by family, friends, or even a rabbi for turning from Judaism to Christianity.

Christ taught that his followers should not respond with evil for evil. We should not slap back or try to hurt people when they insult us. Instead, we should willingly take the suffering and give up our right to retaliation.

Certainly, we saw this in the life of Christ. When others were being cheated in the temple, he was like a lion. He fought for their rights and the honor of God. He resisted and exposed evil, as we are also called to do (Eph 5:11). But when the Pharisees raised up deceivers to lie about Christ at his trials, before he went to the cross, he was like a lamb. He said nothing (cf. Mk 14:55-61) and, instead, allowed God to defend him. Christians must do both—fight for others’ rights and, at the same time, in gentleness, be willing to give up our right to retaliation.

First Peter 2:20-23 says:

For what credit is it if you sin and are mistreated and endure it? But if you do good and suffer and so endure, this finds favor with God. For to this you were called, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving an example for you to follow in his steps. He committed no sin nor was deceit found in his mouth. When he was maligned, he did not answer back; when he suffered, he threatened no retaliation, but committed himself to God who judges justly.

When persecuted for our faith or for other reasons, believers must willingly endure suffering. Now, this does not forbid us from going to the police or the court, but it forbids us from taking judgment into our own hands. God has instituted the government, the law system, and authorities in general for those reasons. It is not our place to take vengeance. We see this with Paul when the Jews were trying to kill him while he was imprisoned in Caesarea. In response to the injustice, he appealed to Caesar—the highest court in the land (Acts 25). He used the justice system. We have that right as well.

How do you respond when others slap or insult you? Christ said kingdom citizens will give up their rights to personal retaliation. This supernatural character marks us as kingdom citizens in this world. We willingly suffer personal assaults in order to love God and others more than ourselves.

Application Question: Why is it so hard to give up our right to personal retaliation? Should believers always turn the other cheek when insulted? If not, why not, and how should we discern when to pursue justice? If possible, describe a time when you decided to turn the other cheek and the results.

Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Possessions

And if someone wants to sue you and to take your tunic, give him your coat also.

Matthew 5:40

Interpretation Question: What was Christ referring to when talking about being sued for a shirt and offering one’s coat as well?

The second right believers must be willing to relinquish for Christ is that of possessions. When Christ referred to being sued for a shirt, he was referring to a tunic, which was more like an ancient suit. A person would typically own multiple tunics. The coat, however, was very expensive, and people typically only owned one.⁵ Often, they were used as blankets to keep people warm at night and in the winter.

Would somebody ever sue another for his clothes? In those times, when people could not compensate with money, sometimes they would pay with clothing. In court, people could be sued for the very clothes on their body, especially if they didn’t have other valuables. However, according to the Mosaic law, people couldn’t be sued for their coats. Keeping one’s coat was an inalienable right. It was considered inhumane to take a person’s coat. How would they stay warm at night or in the winter? If it was taken as a pledge, it had to be returned by the evening (cf. Deut 24:12-14). Exodus 22:26-27 says:

If you do take the garment of your neighbor in pledge, you must return it to him by the time the sun goes down, for it is his only covering—it is his garment for his body. What else can he sleep in? And when he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am gracious.

Again, though this applies to being sued over possessions generally, it has specific reference to the persecution of Christians. Early Christians commonly experienced the loss of their property over their beliefs. Hebrews 10:32-35 says,

But remember the former days when you endured a harsh conflict of suffering after you were enlightened. At times you were publicly exposed to abuse and afflictions, and at other times you came to share with others who were treated in that way. For in fact you shared the sufferings of those in prison, and you accepted the confiscation of your belongings with joy, because you knew that you certainly had a better and lasting possession. So do not throw away your confidence, because it has great reward.

They joyfully accepted the confiscation of their property. Was it theirs? Absolutely. But, as they served Christ, they relinquished their rights to their possessions and didn’t fight over them. And so must we.

Our possessions are to be held with an open hand before the Lord. This will seem very difficult to those who have zealously strived to accumulate things: books, electronics, homes, and cars. However, Scripture teaches that the whole earth is the Lord’s (Ps 24:1). We don’t own anything. We are just stewards of the Lord’s resources. In fact, in Matthew 6:19-21, Christ calls us to not store up riches on the earth but to practice simplicity, since riches have a tendency to steal our hearts. Also, in 1 Timothy 6:6-8, Paul taught that we should learn to be content with food and covering. If we have understood and practiced these principles with our possessions, it will be much easier to relinquish them, if the Lord calls us to, and respond in love to those who persecute us.

We should also note that even though one had a legal right to keep his coat, in this case, he was not to avail himself of that right. In personal relationships, we should never seek vengeance, we should leave it to God or seek justice through the authorities. But at times, it is God’s will for us to not even insist upon our legal rights. First Peter 4:8 says, “love covers a multitude of sins.” In love, many times we should not only forgive but also not insist on justice. In 1 Corinthians 6, the members of the church were suing one another, and Paul sharply rebukes them by saying: “The fact that you have lawsuits among yourselves demonstrates that you have already been defeated. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” (v. 7). Essentially, he says why not love them and Christ more than your personal rights. This is the Christian way, and so we must prayerfully consider this in situations where our legal rights are violated.

Are you willing to let go of your possessions out of devotion to Christ and love for those who seek to harm you? These types of sacrifices are commonly the way God saves our enemies and draws them to repentance.

Application Question: Why is it so hard to give up our rights to our possessions? Why should we be willing to give them up, even when they are unjustly taken?

Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Personal Time

And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two.

Matthew 5:41

The next example Christ shares considers our right to our time. Roman soldiers had legal rights to make a civilian carry their luggage up to one Roman mile, which was slightly less than a mile today. However, they could not make civilians carry the luggage longer than that.⁶ This is probably what happened with Simon of Cyrene when he was forced to carry Jesus’ cross (Matt 27:32). The Jews hated such impositions. When Christ said this, he separated himself from the zealots and others who wanted to overthrow the government because of such infractions. Though we may not have direct applications to this in our society, there are certainly indirect applications. James Boice said:

To us that means that we are not to be resentful when people call us on the telephone and take up valuable time—just because they do not have anything to do. And we are not to be surly when we are given added work at the office, are saddled with someone else’s work, or are sent out for coffee when we are in the middle of something we think important. We are to do it cheerfully and as unto the Lord.⁷

How do you respond when someone imposes on your time and energy? Are you gracious? Do you recognize that your time and energy are the Lord’s and he can use them, as he sees fit? Do you trust God’s sovereignty in the interruptions of the day—including disruptions and impositions by those who are rude and disrespectful, like a difficult boss or family member? Our time is not ours. It is the Lord’s, and we must use it even to serve those who hurt and harm us. This is often God’s method of saving the lost and bringing repentance in the lives of the redeemed.

Are you offering your time to the Lord? Are you willing to sacrifice it for the benefit of others, even the rude and unthankful? Sacrifice of time and energy for others, including the unthankful, will mark kingdom citizens in this world. Does it mark you?

Application Question: Why is giving up our time for others so difficult, especially when they are ungrateful? How can we prepare for unplanned interruptions and handle them graciously? Describe a time you willingly sacrificed time and energy for someone who was rude and/or ungrateful and the effects of that sacrifice on them and yourself.

Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Personal Money

Give to the one who asks you, and do not reject the one who wants to borrow from you.

Matthew 5:42

Finally, we must not only sacrifice our rights to retaliate, to our own possessions, and to our time, we also must give up our rights to our money. Again, this is very difficult to hear, as money is very hard to earn and even harder to keep. We naturally feel that since we earned our money, it is not right for anybody else to have it. We often struggle with the government taking so much of our money in taxes. In our hearts, we think, “I earned this! Why are they taking it!?” With the poor, we think, “Why don’t they work for their own money and stop being lazy!?” But if we are followers of Christ, our money is the Lord’s, and we are to be extremely generous with it.

Christ said to give to the one who asks and to not turn away the one who wants to borrow. Now this, maybe more than the other statements, seems impossible to follow. If we give to everyone who asks, then we’ll have no money. How can this be done? Well, first Christ is not talking about giving to those who do not have legitimate needs or who would use the money in harmful ways like purchasing alcohol. Sometimes giving to others will actually hurt them. There is a need for discernment. In 2 Thessalonians 3, there were people in the church not working to provide for their needs who were waiting on the coming of Christ. In order to do this, they began to depend on the generosity of other church members. However, Paul said if people do not work, they shouldn’t eat (v. 10). The church was called to not support these errant members but to warn and challenge them in love (v. 15). There is a need for discernment—we certainly shouldn’t give money to every request.

With that said, sometimes it is very hard, if not impossible, to discern if the needs are legitimate. Certainly, we must try our best. But when it is impossible, it has been said that it is better “to help a score of fraudulent beggars than to risk turning away one man in real need.”⁸ There is wisdom in this saying that believers should heed.

In general, our use of money is a tremendous indicator of our spiritual health. It reveals what we love. Do we love ourselves more than God and others? First John 3:17-18 says,

But whoever has the world’s possessions and sees his fellow Christian in need and shuts off his compassion against him, how can the love of God reside in such a person? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue but in deed and truth.

John is giving tests of true salvation (according to his statement in 1 John 5:13). One of the tests is whether we are generous to needy believers. If not, do we really love God? Is his love truly abiding in us? The implied answer is no. True salvation will change our relationship with God, others, and even our money. Others will be more important than our money. Christ said that people will know that we are his disciples by the way that we love one another (John 13:35).

Does the way that we use our money and other resources demonstrate that we are true believers? Are we sacrificially loving others with our money?

Now with that said, we are also commanded to care for our family. Paul said if we don’t care for our family, we are worse than an infidel (1 Tim 5:8). We practice our faith by first caring for our families, but we also practice it by loving others sacrificially. Ephesians 4:28 says, “The one who steals must steal no longer; rather he must labor, doing good with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with the one who has need.” Believers should work to not only provide for themselves and their family but to help others in need.

In following Christ, are you giving up your rights to your finances? Listen, Christ offers the best retirement plan that anyone can ask for: “But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt 6:33). He taught “give and it shall be given unto you” (Lk 6:38). And, Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 9:6-9:

My point is this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. Each one of you should give just as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work. Just as it is written, “He has scattered widely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness remains forever.”

There are many promises given to those who are generous givers: God promises to bless givers with all their needs and with tremendous open doors for good works. As they faithfully give, God will provide their needs and expand their ministries.

Have you given up your rights to your money? Are you using your money to bless those in need, including those who harm you? Romans 12:20-21 says, “Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

In order to do this, we must be willing to use our money to bless the unlovable. When we do this generously and joyfully, we look like God, and God will bless us.

Is your money the Lord’s—for him to use to bless others as he wills? Or is your money primarily used for selfish purposes?

Application Question: What makes Jesus’ teaching about giving money to whoever asks so difficult? How can we practice this kind of generosity? What are some probing questions to ask ourselves for discerning when to give and when not to?

General Applications

1. In responding to personal injustice, we must remember that as followers of Christ, we are called to take up our cross (Luke 14:27)—meaning give up our rights.

Christ was just and deserved no punishment, but he gave up his rights and entrusted them to God. In the same way, we must give up our rights as we serve others and at times experience injustice. We must daily take up our crosses as we follow our Lord. Our lives should not be worldly—consumed with our right to retaliation, possessions, time, and money. Our primary duty and right are to sacrificially love God and others, which at times includes bearing the insults and pain caused by others.

In Luke 14:27, Christ said, “Whoever does not carry his own cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” The life of the cross is proof that we are disciples, and therefore saved. Have you given up your rights? Are you carrying your cross by dying to your rights?

2. In responding to personal injustice, we must remember that the ability to give up our rights is supernatural—given through the Spirit of God.

As believers, we still have a flesh that wants to fight for our rights—it desires to hold grudges and seek revenge. However, as we live a life of the Spirit, by obeying God and abiding in him, the fruits of the Spirit are born in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, perseverance, goodness, etc. (Gal 5:22-23). Therefore, we must repent when we walk in the flesh, and we must pray for grace to love those who are unlovable and to give up our right to retaliation. As we draw near Christ through prayer, time in the Word, fellowship, and obedience, he empowers us to live like him. Galatians 5:16 says to walk in the Spirit, and we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

3. In responding to personal injustice, we must remember that love is the primary way we minister to those who hurt us, and God is the one who pursues justice.

Again, Romans 12:17-21 says:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil; consider what is good before all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

God will bring vengeance; we should bring love. Now certainly, when God places us in positions of authority such as a parent, boss, or government official, we must, as his representatives, bring discipline in those positions. But in that discipline, we must remember mercy and seek to act in a way that is fair and God-honoring.

4. In responding to personal injustice, we must remember that the life of the cross is a rewarded life.

In Matthew 5:5, Christ said, “Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth.” Though we don’t fight for our rights now but, instead, choose to sacrifice and serve others, one day everything will be given to us. Though, as Christians, we sacrifice much of what the world pursues and fights for, we will one day be rewarded eternally. It will all be worth it in the end. In eternity, the reward for the meek will be great.

Does your life bear the marks of kingdom citizens—willing to lovingly bear the burden and pain from others—or citizens of this world—consumed with your personal rights and comfort?

Application Question: What other applications did you take from Jesus’ teaching on “eye for eye” and our need to give up our rights in love for God and others?

Conclusion

Consider Kent Hughes inspiring thoughts on this passage:

Jesus changes our lives! We no longer consider it our duty to get even. “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth” is fine for the court, but not for our relation to others—even our enemies. Thanks to Jesus, we have let go of our legalistic obsession with fairness. We are glad that Jesus was not fair with us, for if we were to have gotten what was coming to us, it would not have been good. As Jesus’ followers we give ourselves to the highest welfare of others, even our enemies. We put up with the sins and insults of others for Christ’s sake and theirs. Though hurt many times before, we refuse to withdraw into the shell of self. We do not run from hurt. We appear weak, but we are strong, for only the most powerful can live a life like this. But the power is not ours, but Christ’s. Everything comes from Christ.⁹

How should Christians respond to personal injustice?

1. Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Retaliation
2. Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Possessions
3. Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Personal Time
4. Christians Must Willingly Give Up Their Right to Personal Money

Copyright © 2019 Gregory Brown

Unless otherwise noted, the primary Scriptures used are taken from the NET Bible ® copyright © 1996-2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

BTG Publishing all rights reserved.

¹ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (pp. 329–330). Chicago: Moody Press.

² MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (pp. 329–330). Chicago: Moody Press.

³ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (p. 133). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁴ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (p. 133). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

⁵ Boice, J. M. (2002). The Sermon on the Mount: an expositional commentary (pp. 137–138). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

⁶ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (pp. 334–335). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁷ Boice, J. M. (2002). The Sermon on the Mount: an expositional commentary (p. 138). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

⁸ MacDonald, W. (1995). Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments. (A. Farstad, Ed.) (pp. 1222–1223). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

⁹ Hughes, R. K. (2001). The sermon on the mount: the message of the kingdom (pp. 136–137). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

“Be careful not to display your righteousness merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven. Thus whenever you do charitable giving, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in synagogues and on streets so that people will praise them. I tell you the truth, they have their reward. But when you do your giving, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your gift may be in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:1-4(NET)

How can we live lives of radical generosity?

God is a giver. He gave his only begotten Son to die for the sins of the world. Not only that, he gives us life, breath, sunshine, rain, and everything else. As his children, we should be givers as well. The previous verse of Matthew 5:48 says, “Be perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect.” Christ teaches on giving right after calling us to be perfect like our Father. Therefore, one of the ways we should aim to be perfect like our Heavenly Father is by generous giving.

In this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Christ again confronts the error of the religious leaders. In Matthew 5:20-48, he confronted their misinterpretations of the law. They lessened God’s commands on areas like murder, adultery, divorce, oaths, loving one’s neighbor, etc. In Chapter 6, he confronts the wrong manner in which they did their acts of righteousness: giving, praying, and fasting. The entire context follows Christ’s strong words in Matthew 5:20 that if our righteousness doesn’t surpass that of the Pharisees and teachers of the law, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, Christ is warning his followers to bear fruits that match their kingdom citizenship.

In Matthew 6:1-4, Christ teaches principles about how to live radically generous lives that resemble God and please him.

Big Question: In Matthew 6:1-4, what principles can be discerned about living a radically generous life?

Believers Must Practice Giving as a Spiritual Discipline

Thus whenever you do charitable giving

Matthew 6:2

Interpretation Question: What does the fact that Christ says “whenever you do charitable giving” imply about his expectation of his followers?

The fact that Christ says “whenever you do charitable giving” and not “if you do charitable giving” implies that God expects believers to give and be generous like him. This was clearly commanded in the OT law:

“‘If your brother becomes impoverished and is indebted to you, you must support him; he must live with you like a foreign resident. Do not take interest or profit from him, but you must fear your God and your brother must live with you.

Leviticus 25:35-36

There will never cease to be some poor people in the land; therefore, I am commanding you to make sure you open your hand to your fellow Israelites who are needy and poor in your land.

Deuteronomy 15:11

In fact, many rabbis over-emphasized the need to give—taking the doctrine above Scriptural boundaries. Some taught that giving would actually atone for one’s sins. This is taught within the Apocrypha, which was written during the intertestamental period before the writing of the New Testament. Tobit 12:8 says, “It is better to give to charity than to lay up gold. For charity will save a man from death; it will expiate any sin.” The Wisdom of Sirach 3:30 says, “As water will quench a flaming fire, so charity will atone for sin.”¹ In the 1500’s, the Roman Catholic church canonized the Apocrypha for this very reason, as it supports salvation by works; however, it wasn’t recognized as canon previously.

Though the Rabbis overemphasized the importance of giving, as all believers are saved by faith and not works (Eph 2:8-9), God certainly commands and expects his people to give generously. Christ taught that this righteousness will be in kingdom citizens. Giving will be their consistent practice and discipline. The Greek word for “give” actually means an act or deed of mercy.² Since believers received mercy from God in their salvation, they will be known for showing acts of mercy to others (cf. Matthew 5:7).

Application Question: What are some general principles for Christian giving?

1. Christian giving naturally happens when Christ is truly first in our lives.

In 2 Corinthians 8:2-5 (NIV), Paul describes how the poor Macedonian Christians financially supported the struggling Jerusalem church. He said,

In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us.

Though the Macedonian churches were extremely poor themselves, they begged Paul to allow them to support their brothers in Jerusalem. Therefore, radical generosity is not primarily rooted in what we have but who we have. Paul said they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to others. If God isn’t first in our lives, then we won’t be generous givers. Instead, we will be selfish—concerned primarily with our personal benefit.

Are you giving yourself fully to the Lord—your time, money, goals, and aspirations? If not, you won’t be radically generous.

2. Christian giving should be planned and intentional—not haphazard.

Second Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each one of you should give just as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver.” The fact that we must decide in our heart implies that our giving should be prayerfully and wisely planned.

Application Question: What should our planned giving include?

• Our plan for giving should include regular offerings to our local church.

First Corinthians 16:1-2 says,

With regard to the collection for the saints, please follow the directions that I gave to the churches of Galatia: On the first day of the week, each of you should set aside some income and save it to the extent that God has blessed you, so that a collection will not have to be made when I come.

Paul taught that every time they gathered on Sunday, in keeping with their income, they should set aside money to give. We should do the same. As the Lord provides income, whether that be every two weeks or once a month, we should prayerfully give to the ministries of our local church.

• Our plan for giving should include setting aside money for the urgent needs of others.

Ephesians 4:28 says, “The one who steals must steal no longer; rather he must labor, doing good with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with the one who has need.” Having something to share with those in need seems to be above one’s regular giving to the church. These needs might include helping a student go on a mission trip, helping somebody who is struggling financially, supporting an orphanage, or even responding to a world catastrophe.

People often ask me, “Can I give my offerings to other ministries or needs instead of to my church?” I always say, “Do both!” First Timothy 5:17-18 says,

Elders who provide effective leadership must be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard in speaking and teaching. For the scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,” and, “The worker deserves his pay.”

One of the main reasons we must give offerings to our local church is to support its ministers. God has commanded for ministers to earn their living from the church, since a worker is worthy of his wages. If we don’t support our ministers, then they won’t be able to serve the church and take care of their families at the same time. Galatians 6:6 says, “Now the one who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with the one who teaches it.” Sharing “all good things” includes, but is not limited to, financial remuneration.

But God also commands us to help those in need, which is often random. Again, Ephesians 4:28 implies that we should plan to be able to meet those needs. It is good to put in one’s budget regular church offerings and also flexible money for random needs. If there are no random needs, then give that money to the church or save it for when other needs occur. Certainly, it is good to regularly support outside ministries that care for the poor or send missionaries; however, it shouldn’t replace our giving to our local church. It should be above that giving.

God calls for our giving to be decided in the heart; therefore, it must be prayerfully and wisely planned.

3. Christian giving must be offered with a joyful heart.

As mentioned in 2 Corinthians 9:7, God wants our giving to be done with a right heart—one of joy—since he loves a cheerful giver. It should not be out of reluctance or compulsion—God doesn’t need our money. He wants our worship. Therefore, we must be joyful in our giving; this joy comes from our desire to please our Father and help others.

4. Christian giving should be sacrificial.

Throughout the Old Testament, we see that God commanded people to bring their best. They were not to bring the lame or diseased lamb (cf. Mal 1:8); they were to offer the lamb without blemish (Ex 12:5). We should also always offer our best. In fact, that seems to be the reason Cain’s offering was rejected while Abel’s was accepted. Genesis 4 says Cain gave some of the fruits of his field, while Abel gave the fat portions of the firstborn of his flock. The firstborn and the fat portions were considered the best in those days. Cain’s was rejected while Abel’s was received. Cain wanted the best part for himself—there was no sacrifice in his life. That is how a lot of our offerings are given in the church today. There is no real sacrifice—there is no heart that says, “God, you are the best and worth more than I can offer!” In 2 Samuel 24:24, David said, “I will not offer to the Lord my God burnt sacrifices that cost me nothing.’”

Is your giving sacrificial? Or are you just giving “some” of the fruit of your field—like Cain—the left-over change in your pocket? God wants our best. Our giving must be sacrificial.

1. 5. Christian giving should ideally be continually increased.

Second Corinthians 8:7 says, “But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, and in all eagerness and in the love from us that is in you—make sure that you excel in this act of kindness too.”

Often churches emphasize giving one’s tithe—10% of our income—which was commanded in the Old Testament. Though I think this is a good percentage to begin our giving at, it is never commanded in the New Covenant. The epistles commonly emphasize how we are no longer under the Old Covenant (Rom 6:14, 7:6). We are not bound to practice the food laws, the sabbath days, etc. Many laws continue, but not because we are under the Old Covenant, but because they are repeated in the New Covenant. In the New Testament, there are never any numerical percentages required of our giving. However, we do have teachings like 2 Corinthians 8:7 which says we must seek to excel in giving. This means 10% is a great place to start, but if we stay there we are not obeying the New Covenant. We should seek to excel in our giving.

First Corinthians 16:2 says we should give according to “the extent that God has blessed you” or it can be translated, “in keeping with how he prospers” (HCSB). This means that many people should be giving way more than 10% because the Lord has prospered them so much. Instead of getting a new phone, new car, or new house, when their finances increase, they should seek to excel in their giving. Are you striving to excel in your giving?

Christ said, “when you give” not “if you give.” Our giving is expected, and therefore it should be a regularly practiced spiritual discipline.

Application Question: Are any principles on this list new to you? If so, which? What are some principles that you have found helpful with your regular giving? What are your thoughts on whether Christians must practice the OT tithe?

Believers Must Guard Against Wrong Motives in Their Giving

“Be careful not to display your righteousness merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven. Thus whenever you do charitable giving, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in synagogues and on streets so that people will praise them. I tell you the truth, they have their reward. But when you do your giving, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your gift may be in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:1-4

In Matthew 6:1, Christ warns his disciples to not practice their righteous deeds in front of others to be seen by them. In the rest of Matthew 6, he focuses not only on giving but praying and fasting—two other works God expects believers to practice.

The phrase “be careful” has the sense of “being on guard.”³ There is a danger that comes along with all ministry. It is hard not to perform them without concerns about what people think about us or how they perceive our ministry. This is a virtual stronghold for many who serve in public ministry. It can cause great discouragement or great pride. Both are problems, as they are symptoms that prove our ministry is not being done for God alone. Christ warns us of this reality, and we must heed it well.

Seeking the praise of others instead of God was the primary sin of the Pharisees and scribes. John 12:43 said, “they loved praise from men more than praise from God.” Christ called them “hypocrites.” The word literally means “to wear a mask” and was used of an actor.⁴ An actor takes on a false identity and puts on a theatrical performance in order to receive applause. Sadly, that is how a lot of Christian works are done—preaching, teaching, praying, and, as mentioned in this passage, giving.

Christ describes how the hypocrites would sound the trumpet so that all would know they are giving to the poor. Calvin speculated that maybe they did this under the guise of calling for the poor.⁵ In considering the trumpets, we don’t know if Christ was being literal or metaphorical. Either way, his point was that these people wanted everybody to hear and see. They essentially cried out: “Look at how much I am giving! Look at how sacrificial and holy I am!”

We must be very careful of this in our ministries. It is sad that something so good as giving to the poor can be turned into a PR stunt that is all for our benefit. However, this is natural to our sin nature—it is consumed with self-glory.

Application Question: How can we know if we are doing our giving and other good works to be seen by others instead of for God?

We can tell by asking ourselves some pointed questions:

1. Is it important for others to see or hear about our good works and accomplishments? Do we always have to tell others about our successes? If so, maybe the pride of the Pharisees is in our hearts.
2. How do we respond when others praise us? Are we overly excited? If so, maybe it reveals a desire for self-glory.
3. How do we respond when people criticize us or don’t recognize our accomplishments? Does this overly discourage us or even make us upset? If so, our focus might not primarily be on serving God and blessing others.

Certainly, all of us have experienced these negative tendencies in some way. It is a reminder that we are sinners, and that we must always guard our hearts (Prov 4:23). God’s honor and pleasure must always be our primary pursuit, even before the benefit of others.

Observation Question: How should believers guard their hearts from wrong motives in their giving and other good works according to Matthew 6:2-4?

Thus whenever you do charitable giving, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in synagogues and on streets so that people will praise them. I tell you the truth, they have their reward. But when you do your giving, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your gift may be in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:2-4

1. To guard our hearts from wrong motives in our good works, we must practice secrecy when performing them.

Christ said to not announce them with trumpets (v. 2). We must aim to practice our good works and giving in secret. Now it is not a sin for others to see; many times, we cannot avoid being seen. Christ said a city on a hill cannot be hidden, in referring to believers being the light of the world (Matt 5:14-16). The problem is our hearts are prone to being consumed with the thoughts and approval of others instead of the Lord’s. So as much as possible, we should practice secrecy in our giving and other good deeds. With our giving, we should try not to tell others—God’s knowledge of our works is enough. With other ministry successes, we should also keep those a secret, unless we deem it more beneficial for others to know. Paul didn’t share many of his visions and spiritual experiences until it was absolutely necessary and beneficial for others to hear (2 Cor 12). He didn’t want them to think too highly of him (12:6).

2. To guard our hearts from wrong motives in our good works, we must practice immediately forgetting what we’ve done by not self-consciously dwelling on them.

When Christ says to not let our left hand know what our right hand is doing, since most people are right-handed, he assumes most will give with their right hands. While giving, one should make sure the left hand is unaware of what the right hand is doing. He uses this metaphor to say that we should even hide our good works from ourselves. The point is that even though others might be unaware of our good works, many times we are still self-conscious of them. We continually replay our giving, teaching, serving, and other good works over and over in our head—leading either to pride or insecurity. We either puff ourselves up—thinking how great we are—or we get really discouraged because we think we failed. Both of these thought processes reflect that our primary goal in serving is not honoring the Lord and bringing him glory. It is too easy for ourselves and our own approval to become the focus of our good deeds, instead of God. This was exactly how the Pharisees and scribes did their good works. In Luke 18:11-12, a Pharisee, who was praying, continually boasted before the Lord, “Thank you, Lord, that I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get” (paraphrase). Though his works weren’t currently in front of others, they gave him great pride, as he boasted before the Lord about them. When practicing our good works, we must be careful of being self-conscious.

Prepare, do your best to honor the Lord and help others, but entrust the results and glory to God. Certainly, there is a place for constructive reflection and evaluation, so we can improve in order to better honor God and bless others. But after doing that briefly, we should forget our works (Phil 3:13)—lest they turn into a boast or an insecurity, which are both rooted in pride.

Christ said those who do their works for others to see have received their reward (v. 2). The “have” used here, or “have received” in other versions, is a commercial term meaning to “receive a sum in full and give a receipt for it.”⁶ It meant that they will receive nothing else. Their reward is the congratulations of others or their self-congratulations, but they will receive nothing from God. In performing good deeds, including our giving, we must be satisfied with God being our only witness and having only his approval.

Application Question: Why is seeking the approval of others such a danger for those serving in ministry? How have you experienced the sinful propensity to be “self-conscious” over our good works—making them essentially about us instead of God? What are common fruits of being self-conscious in our life and ministry? How can we guard ourselves against the tendencies of seeking the approval of others or our own approval in ministry?

Believers Must Pursue God’s Reward for Selfless Giving

And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:4

Finally, Christ encourages his listeners to practice secrecy in their giving because it will be rewarded by God. This is taught throughout the entire Bible, as giving is part of the Lord’s cycle of blessing.⁷ Consider some of the following verses: Proverbs 11:25 (NIV) says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” God promises refreshment to those who refresh others by their generosity. When they open their homes for others, or give sacrificially, the same will happen to them. Psalm 41:1 says, “How blessed is the one who treats the poor properly! When trouble comes, the Lord delivers him.” Those who care for the poor and struggling, God will deliver in times of trouble. What they do for others, God will do for them.

Second Corinthians 9:8 (NIV) gives this as a promise for cheerful givers: “And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” The promise is twofold: (1) God will make sure givers never lack. This promise is probably broader than just financial provisions; it could also refer to God meeting their emotional, social, and physical needs. (2) God will make them abound in every good work. If God can trust us with money, he can trust us with reaching souls, understanding and teaching the Bible, caring for the poor, etc. He will increase the righteousness of givers. Second Corinthians 9:10 re-enforces this: “Now God who provides seed for the sower and bread for food will provide and multiply your supply of seed and will cause the harvest of your righteousness to grow.”

As a general principle, our effectiveness in ministry correlates to our faithfulness and generosity with God’s money. In Luke 16:10-11, Christ said it this way:

“The one who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and the one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you haven’t been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will entrust you with the true riches?

“True riches” don’t just apply to righteous works on earth, but eternal riches in heaven. In Luke 19, the reward for those who were faithful with God’s minas was ruling over cities in the coming kingdom.

John MacArthur’s comments on the correlation between the faithful use of finances and ministry are helpful. He says,

Many young men have dropped out of seminary because they could not handle money, and the Lord did not want them in His ministry. Others have begun in the ministry but later dropped out for the same reason. Still others remain in the ministry but produce little fruit because God will not commit the care of eternal souls to them when they cannot even manage their own finances. Spiritual influences and effectiveness have a lot to do with how well finances are handled.⁸

Are you being a radical giver? If so, God will radically reward you and that reward includes provisions on earth and expanded righteousness both in heaven and on earth. Those who sow sparingly will also reap sparingly and those who sow generously will reap generously (2 Cor 9:6).

How is God calling you to be a radical giver?

Application Question: What promises stood out to you most when considering the reward for givers? How have you seen the principle of giving and receiving at work in your life—either negatively or positively (cf. Mal 3:8-12)?

Conclusion

The members of Christ’s kingdom will be radical givers. Their righteousness will surpass that of the Pharisees and teachers of the law. What are some principles about practicing radical generosity?

1. Believers Must Practice Giving as a Spiritual Discipline
2. Believers Must Guard Against Wrong Motives in Their Giving
3. Believers Must Pursue God’s Reward for Selfless Giving

Copyright © 2019 Gregory Brown

Unless otherwise noted, the primary Scriptures used are taken from the NET Bible ® copyright © 1996-2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added.

BTG Publishing all rights reserved.

¹ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 355). Chicago: Moody Press.

² Stott, J. R. W., & Stott, J. R. W. (1985). The message of the Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7): Christian counter-culture (p. 128). Leicester; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

³ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (pp. 353–354). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁴ Stott, J. R. W., & Stott, J. R. W. (1985). The message of the Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7): Christian counter-culture (p. 129). Leicester; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

⁵ Stott, J. R. W., & Stott, J. R. W. (1985). The message of the Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7): Christian counter-culture (pp. 128–129). Leicester; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

⁶ Stott, J. R. W., & Stott, J. R. W. (1985). The message of the Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7): Christian counter-culture (pp. 129–130). Leicester; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

⁷ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (p. 358). Chicago: Moody Press.

⁸ MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1985). Matthew (Vol. 1, p. 359). Chicago: Moody Press.