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How do you know whether a woman is a good woman to ask out on a date?

This is a great question.

I take it that you are referencing my comments in How to Find a Godly Wife:

"A Christian should carefully screen any person before he or she would even consider going out on a date with them."

To begin with, seek to find a godly woman in the right place. Notice the contrast in Proverbs between the setting in which the "strange woman" is found in chapter 7, as opposed to the setting in which "Wisdom" is found in chapter 8. I would be much less likely to find a godly woman in a bar or night club, than I would in a sound Bible church or parachurch ministry. I know that a number of Christians have found their future mates via Christian dating Web sites and through social networking sites such as Facebook. While you do have access to many more possibilities you must also realize that the number of "virtuous women" would be few. (The writer of Proverbs 31 says that such women are rare.) That would require a great deal of "sifting."

So, where would some of the most likely places to find a godly wife be? One wo uld expect that a strong, Bible-teaching church would attract the kind of woman you would be looking for.

Networking through your Christian friends can also be productive. If your friends are godly, then they would likely seek out other godly friends. Many Christians have met their mate through their Christian friends. Godly friends can also help in other ways. Their friendship can help keep you from loneliness and from desperation. They can give a nod of approval to the right kind of person and can offer a word of caution in other instances. Make a point of introducing anyone you are interested in dating to your trusted friends.

Take note of the friends and associates of any "person of interest." Those who are wise seek out wise friends. Those who are foolish tend to associate with people like them.

If you are looking on Facebook (for example), look at the people who are listed as her friends. Also, look for other evidences of godly character. Is there a clear statement of her faith in Jesus? Are pictures of her seductive, or modest? What else does she say to represent herself? What evidences are given of her personal relationship with Christ?

One of the critical character indicators is one's selfless service to others in the name of Christ. Many marriages have begun with serving side-by-side in some form of ministry. So, seek to find places of service and look for the kind of woman who delights in serving others.

Seek to develop your relationship with single women in the context of friendship. This is how my relationship with my wife began. Jeannette and I were leaders in our church youth group, actively involved in ministry there. (Actually, she loaned me her car to take another girl on a date.) A good friendship can develop into a romance, but be careful not to make friends only to find romance. Be a true friend, and trust God to bring the romance along in His time.

Related Topics: Marriage

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