This series of sermons will cover some of the main O.T. characters, beginning in Genesis with Noah, Abraham, Jacob, and Joseph. These sermons will not cover every account or incident in the lives of each person, but are selected (1) to give an overview of how God worked in their lives to accomplish his purposes; and (2) to learn important lessons about character and conduct as it relates to the people of God.
Amongst many other lessons in this series, one thing becomes abundantly clear, that the human heart does not change: it remains “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:9). Nonetheless, God in his grace continues to reveal himself, often in remarkable ways, to finite, frail, and failing human beings whom he uses to represent him, to communicate his instructions and plans, to provide leadership to others, and, generally, to carry out his purposes as the drama of redemption unfolds through the progress of salvation history.
We will study characters like Joseph, who was ridiculed, sold as a slave, falsely accused and imprisoned, yet, ultimately, he was vindicated and exalted. We admire him and aspire to emulate his faith, patience, and steadfast endurance despite the circumstances, and, more importantly, we grow in our understanding of God and his ways with us. Conversely, we will study characters whose behavior and responses may surprise us, but in whom God still displays his grace and through whom God still sovereignly acts.
I hope that this series will bless you as much as it has me. It was a pleasure to preach these sermons and it is now a pleasure to share them with you in written form. May the Lord use them to encourage and inspire you as you serve him and faithfully “preach the word.”
Mother Teresa is quoted as saying that, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or cancer. It’s the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, of being deserted and alone.” (Leadership Magazine, vol. 1, no. 4). A 1990 U.S. census reported that 23 million American adults lived alone and that since 1970 this figure had increased by 91% for women and 156% for men.
At some time in your life you’ve probably felt lonely, forsaken, deserted, abandoned, let down, betrayed. I remember when, as a university student, I went to Germany to work for the summer, and how homesick I felt during that time.
Perhaps your experience has been more than homesickness or loneliness. Perhaps you have experienced alienation from family members, fellow students, work colleagues, or perhaps even the church. Perhaps you’ve known the pain of an unfaithful spouse. Perhaps you’ve suffered parental rejection by rebellious teenagers. Or, perhaps you’ve been deeply hurt when you’ve been let go from a company that you served faithfully for many years. Undoubtedly, many of you know the pain that loneliness, isolation, and rejection can inflict.
It’s one thing to be lonely (that’s bad enough) but it’s another thing to be rejected. Jacob experienced rejection during a dark period in his life. What we are going to see here is that when we come to a dark, forsaken place in our lives, that’s where God draws near and the dark, forsaken place becomes the house of God. Sometimes…
Rejection may all start with something as common as a family problem (27:41-28:5). Jacob faced severe dysfunctional family problems. It all started with favoritism – Isaac loved Esau but Rebekah loved Jacob (25:28). And from there, things went steadily down hill in the family relationships. First, Jacob faces his brother’s savagery (27:41). Esau hated Jacob for defrauding him of his father’s blessing. His plot to kill Jacob is a crime similar to Cain’s, except that Cain’s crime was born of uncontrollable passion and rage whereas Esau’s was premeditated revenge.
In addition to his brother’s anger, Jacob is manipulated by his mother’s scheming (27:42-46). Rebekah always seems to find out what’s going on. She found out about her husband’s intention to bless Esau (27:1-5). Now she finds out about Esau’s intention to kill Jacob (27:41). Jacob’s mother is a master-schemer. First, she devised a scheme for Jacob to get Isaac’s blessing instead of Esau. Now, she devises a scheme to protect Jacob from Esau’s wrath - she will send Jacob to her brother Laban’s house in Padan-Aram for a while, too far away for Esau to hunt Jacob down.
She assures Jacob that his brother’s fury will subside in “a while” (27:44). “He’ll soon forget what you have done to him. Just give him time to cool off, for his temper to subside. It should only be a few days. Then, when it’s all clear, I’ll send for you and bring you back again.” In fact, “a little while” turned into 20 long years and she never did send for Jacob to come back. As with most schemers, Rebekah rationalizes her action: “Why should I be bereft of you both in one day?” (27:45b). “If you stick around, Jacob, you’ll be killed. Then Esau will be executed for murdering you. You wouldn’t want your dear old mom to suffer the loss of both her sons in one day, would you?”
Then, Rebekah convinces her husband of her scheme. First, she took advantage of Isaac’s poor eyesight (27:1f.) Now she takes advantage of his disapproval of Esau’s wives - “the Hittite women” (27:46; cf. 26:34). She says to her husband: “I am weary of living, Isaac, now that I have two Hittite daughters-in-law married to Esau. And if Jacob marries one as well, then what would I do. Poor me, my life wouldn’t be worth living.”
Jacob’s problems started with his brother’s anger, then his mother’s scheming, and finally Jacob is failed by his father’s subservience (28:1-5). Isaac is completely dominated by Rebekah’s manipulative arguments and he fails miserably in his responsibility as the leader in his home. With no mention of God or prayer (a) Isaac forbids Jacob to marry a Canaanite (28:1); (b) he orders Jacob to go to Padan-Aram to find a wife among his cousins, Uncle Laban’s daughters (28:2) – it was common then to marry a cousin – (c) Isaac blesses Jacob with the same blessing Abraham received from God (28:3-4); and finally (d) he sends Jacob away (28:5). We never hear that Jacob ever sees or speaks to his mother again.
Rejection may all start with something as common as a family problem, and rejection may all end up with something as unusual as a forsaken place (28:10-11). This is where the text of our story begins. “10 Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. 11 And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep” (28:10-11). It’s bad enough to be rejected by your family but it’s worse when you have nowhere to go but a forsaken place. Years ago, one of our daughter’s school friends was put out from her family due to some disagreement. We took her in and she lived with us until things got straightened around. Jacob has no one to take him in and, to add to his rejection and desertion, he doesn’t appear to have any true relationship with God either.
Jacob is about 40 years old now. He was born and raised in a religious family. He knows about God but there’s no evidence that he knows God personally. He had head knowledge about the God of his grandfather and father but little or no personal relationship. There is no record of any encounter with God yet in his life - no revelation from God, no word from him - and spiritual issues and disciplines weren’t evident in his life. In fact, there’s no mention of any relationship with God at all.
But all that is about to change, not because Jacob is seeking God but because God is seeking Jacob. Before Jacob finds a wife God finds him. Jacob’s purpose in this trip gives way to a higher purpose - the establishment of a relationship with God based on faith. What is of most importance is not whom he will meet at Haran but whom he will meet on the way to Haran. He certainly didn’t expect to meet God on the highway to Haran anymore than Saul expected to meet God on the highway to Damascus. Jacob wasn’t thinking about calling on the Lord, he was thinking about calling it a day because “the sun had set” (28:11). It had set in more ways than one, both literally and metaphorically, for Jacob is about to enter the nighttime of his life.
So, he comes to “a certain place” (28:11). It’s a “certain” place because it was a place prepared by God, a forsaken, deserted, dark, remote place where he would meet no one but God. There are no motels here, no restaurants, no comforts of home – just the stars above and the ground beneath. This wasn’t a town, it was just a place, obscure, desolate; a place that is unnamed and unknown to men but special to God. That’s where Jacob lay down for the night with a stone for a pillow. If ever Jacob felt alone, deserted, miserable, rejected, and forsaken it must have been now. The stone pillow must have made him long for the comforts of home; maybe he even felt a tinge of homesickness. But this is where he would have the greatest experience of his life; this is where he would encounter God.
Sometimes, when we are forsaken, we flee into the darkness of rejection. But often…
The whole tone of the story changes here. What had formerly been narrated in the past tense (28:10-11) now shifts to the present (28:12-13), and what the narrator has seen Jacob doing (28:10-11) now suddenly shifts to what Jacob himself saw.
In the darkness of our lives God often reveals to us his presence (28:12). No sooner did Jacob fall asleep than he dreamed “…and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it” (28:12). During my teenage years I lived in the City of Bath in England. Every day that I went to school I had to climb up “Jacob’s Ladder,” steps up the side of a steep hill that led to my school. If you have ever been to Bath you will probably have seen Bath Abbey. Carved into the stone on the front of Bath Abbey is a depiction of Jacob’s Ladder with angels ascending and descending.
Jacob’s dream isn’t about steps up the side of a hill or a staircase carved into the stone of a church. It’s about a ladder that joins heaven and earth. Its bottom rests on earth (where Jacob was) and its top reaches to heaven (where God was). The Tower of Babel also extended to the heavens (Gen. 11:4). It was the product of human invention, of delusions of grandeur, of human ambition and pride, the attempt by man to reach up to God. Jacob’s ladder also extends to the heavens, but it was made by God (not men) and angels were climbing it (not men). It is God’s means of reaching down to men (not men’s attempt to reach up to God). This is a ladder that makes God’s presence known. The inhabitants of heaven who dwell in God’s presence are going up and down it; heaven itself is accessible and open.
Have you ever experienced anything like this? Have you been so drawn into the presence of God that you have felt as though heaven has opened up to you? Do you know that God is accessible, that he wants to make himself known to you, to communicate a message to you?
In the darkness of our lives, God often reveals to us his presence. And in the darkness of our lives God often reveals to us his person (28:13a). God initiates contact with Jacob so that he might know him. “And behold, the Lord stood above it (the ladder) and said, ‘I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac’” (28:13a). He is the God of the first and second generations of Jacob’s family. The question that is inferred is: “Will he be the God of the third (Jacob’s) generation as well?” He is the “God of Isaac,” Jacob’s father, the one Jacob deceived and took advantage of. The question that is inferred is: “Will Jacob try to deceive and take advantage of God as well?”
Perhaps you’re the third generation in your family. Your grandparents were Christians and so were your parents. The question is: “Is the God of your grandparents and parents your God too?” Are the spiritual values of your parents and grandparents your values too? Are you walking in their footsteps of faith? So often, the second and third generations throw spiritual things on the scrap heap of life as outdated, worthless traditions of the past, irrelevant. That’s how spiritual darkness creeps into families and churches and societies. Perhaps you need to examine your own life to see whether you are following in the footsteps of faith, those who have gone before, or whether you have lost your zeal for God.
In the darkness of our lives, God often reveals to us his presence and his person. And, in the darkness of our lives God often reveals to us his promise (28:13b-14). “The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. 14 Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed” (28:13b-14).
God faithfully repeats his threefold promise, the same promise he gave to Abraham (Gen 12:1-3). First, the promise concerning the land (13b) - the inheritance that God had promised to Abraham is still secure. Second, the promise concerning the nation (14a) - the descendants God promised to Abraham will still be numerous. Third, the promise concerning all mankind (14b) - the influence God had promised Abraham will still prevail and spread to all the families of the earth through Jacob and his descendants.
Despite his bad behavior, notice that Jacob is included in the chain of blessing. This is the fifth reference to a patriarch as the source of worldwide blessing (Gen. 12:3; 18:18; 22:18; 26:4). Previously Jacob had been occupied with obtaining the blessing for himself, but here he is the source and means of blessing to be bestowed on others. When Abraham received the promise of this blessing he was married but childless. Here, Jacob is both unmarried and childless!
Often in the dark times of our lives we think that God has abandoned us; we think God’s promises have failed; we think God’s word is unreliable. But that’s just the lie of Satan, who wants to disrupt our relationship with God and our trust in him. The truth is that when we encounter God in those dark and lonely times of life, we find that his word never fails and that he never changes. His promises and plans may not occur when we expect or how we expect but they are still the same. Our lives may take twists and turns that we find dark and depressing at times but he remains faithful - He is “the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Heb. 13:8).
In the darkness of our lives, God often reveals to us his presence, his person, his promise, and God often reveals to us his provision (28:15). “Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” God will unilaterally and unconditionally provide for Jacob. God will provide for Jacob’s need for companionship: “I am with you” - even though your family isn’t. God will provide for Jacob’s need for protection: “I will keep you wherever you go” - even though no on else cares about you. God will provide for Jacob’s guidance: “I will bring you back to this land” - even though you’ve just been sent away from it. God will provide for Jacob’s comfort: “I will not leave you - even though your family has let you down - until I have done what I promised you.”
In Jacob’s darkness these were sweet words. Though he felt totally abandoned and alone, God brought him comfort. Though his mother and father were not with him, God was with him. Nothing can happen to Jacob until God has fulfilled his promise through his divine provision.
When we are forsaken, we often flee into the darkness of rejection. In the darkness of rejection, we see the light of God’s revelation. And…
“Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it” (28:16). First, we realize we are in the presence of God. This was a great discovery: God was present here! He wasn’t just present in the dream but he was present in “this place.” Jacob had just met God! He thought he was alone in a forsaken, deserted, desolate place but he was wrong. He discovered that God was here. He is shocked to discover God’s presence when he thought he was alone, just as Isaac was shocked to discover Jacob’s presence when he thought he was alone with Esau (27:33).
We often discover God in the places we least expect. It has been my experience that we learn more about God in those unexpected circumstances, those forsaken places, than anywhere else because those are the times when we must “be still and know that (he) is God” (Ps. 46:10). What Jacob had not known before is now a reality. He seems ashamed that he wasn’t aware of God’s presence before: “I did not know it.” He says to himself, “How could I have missed it. How could I have been so dumb. The God of my grandfather and father is real, alive, near, in this very place.”
This is a personal encounter with God. It’s one thing to dream, but it’s another to know the reality. It’s one thing to envision God, but it’s quite another to hear God speak and to know his presence. This isn’t a nightmare that makes Jacob’s heart pound, but which has no lasting significance. No! God has met him and God has spoken. God has revealed to him his eternal plan! His plan to bless all the nations of the earth. His plan of redemption for the human race!
No wonder Jacob is filled with fear! “And he was afraid and said, ‘How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven’”(28:17). That’s what happens when you encounter God face to face. God’s presence instils fear into the human heart - fear of his awe-inspiring presence, fear of his perfect holiness and our sinfulness, fear of failing him and being disobedient to him. That’s why Peter feared the Lord, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord” (Lk. 5:8). Job feared the Lord: “Therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6). Isaiah feared the Lord: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”(Isa. 6:5).
If you haven’t trusted Christ for salvation, you too should be filled with fear - a fear that drives you to repentance, to confession of sin, to God for forgiveness through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. This wasn’t just an “awesome place” it was “none other than the house of God.” This wasn’t just a lodging place for Jacob for the night. This was God’s house and God’s house must surely mean that “this is the gate of heaven,” the place where God dwells!
In the light of God’s revelation, we realize that we are in the presence of God, and we realize we need to worship God. “So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it” (28:18). Jacob builds a monument. A stone becomes a statue. A pillow becomes a pillar for God. Faith is always expressed in action. This monument would be a permanent reminder of this discovery both for him and for all those who came behind him.
“He called the name of that place Bethel, but the name of the city was Luz at the first” (28:19) – Bethel (the house of God), the very same place where Abraham had stopped years before when he himself was on a journey from Ur to Canaan, where he had called on the name of the Lord (Gen. 12:8b). This isn’t a forsaken, desert place of darkness anymore. This isn’t a place where Jacob stopped because “the sun had set” (28:11). This isn’t a foreign place anymore where he had lodged while fleeing from a family problem. This is now “the house of God!” His whole perception of the place has changed since he met God. What was formerly known as Luz (a place of refuge) becomes for Jacob a place of spiritual refuge – Bethel, the house of God. That’s how it is when we encounter the living God. Our whole perspective on life and circumstances changes. When we enter into a faith relationship with God and grasp the reality of God’s presence, person, promises, and provision in our lives everything changes.
In the light of God’s revelation, we realize that we are in the presence of God, that we need to worship God, and we realize we need to dedicate our lives to God. Jacob sealed his devotion with a vow of dedication. “20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, 21 so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, 22 and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God’s house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you’” (28:20-22).
This is not a conditional commitment: “if God… then I.” No! This is not an “if” of doubt but an “if” of reason. Jacob is making a vow of dedication in which he repeats what God has just said. He is saying: “I cannot do this alone. God must help me. And if the Lord God is with me and keeps me in this way in which I am going and gives me bread to eat and clothing to wear so that I return in peace to the house of my father and the Lord becomes my God, then by God’s grace the stone which I set up as a pillar will be the house of God and out of gratitude for all that God gives me I will give him back one-tenth.”
This vow includes two expressions of his newfound faith. First, worship - he would always worship God at Bethel. He will never fail to remember what happened there and to worship God wherever he is. Second, service - before it ever became the Law, he commits to serve God by giving to God some of God’s rich provision for him. Here Jacob dedicates his life to God. He recognizes that he is totally dependent on God. The one who had used his own resources to the full to manipulate his father and his brother now is completely out of resources and at God’s mercy. Just as Esau was once dependent on Jacob in his desperate hunger, now Jacob is utterly dependent on God. That’s why he repeats God’s promise (cf. v. 15). If God will accompany me (and he has promised that he will); if God will protect me (and he has promised that he will); if God will sustain me (and he has promised that he will); if God will guide me (and he has promised that he will); if the Lord will be my God (and he has promised that he will); then, since all of that is true, “of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.” This is Jacob’s vow of dedication.
What a marvellous thing to discover who God is, even when that happens in the dark experiences of our lives. Many of you have probably had that experience. Perhaps you are going through it right now and you’re finding that it isn’t pleasant. But it’s necessary as it stretches you and makes you dependent and challenges the reality of your faith and relationship with God.
For 18 years I suffered from undiagnosed Lyme disease, whose lingering effects continue to this day. It was so bad sometimes that I could barely lift my arm off the arm of my chair. Eventually I had to quit my work. That was a particularly dark period in my life. But it was in that dark place that I learned more about God than I had ever learned in the light.
We discover God in Bethel experiences. We discover God when we’re completely alone, totally beyond ourselves, with no one and nothing to count on but God. Remember our thesis for this sermon: When we come to a dark, forsaken place in our lives, that’s where God draws near and the dark, forsaken place becomes the house of God.
We all need a Bethel experience where God reveals himself to us in powerful ways, when we realize that God is a holy, awesome God, when his presence and person fill us with holy “fear”, when we realize our insignificance and his greatness.
Bethel experiences are not comfortable. It’s not just a matter of making a decision or walking to the front or raising a hand, but it’s a matter of knowing God in the remoteness of our experience, when the sun has set on our lives and darkness envelopes us. It’s a matter of knowing his presence, his person, his promises, his provision in a powerful and life-changing way.
If you’re not a Christian, you need to meet God personally. Salvation is personal - no one else can do it for you. You need to personally experience God’s saving grace expressed most fully through Christ on the cross in order to enter “the gate of heaven.” God’s grace through Christ is available to all (2 Pet. 3:9) but it is only effective in those who believe (Jn. 1:11-12).
If you’re a Christian, how well do you know God? You met God when you got saved, but what about since then? Have you learned about the ways and character of God in the dark experiences of your Christian life? Have you grown in your faith during those times? Has God become particularly precious to you through your heartaches and trials?
A Bethel experience changes your life forever because that’s when you respond to God’s revelation. That’s when you experience God intimately. That’s when you enter the “house of God.” That’s when you express your devotion to God, make a lifelong commitment to God. That’s when you worship the Lord. And it manifests itself in a practical expression of thanks for God’s grace and the dedication of our lives to God.
Have you been radically changed by a Bethel event so that your life is devoted to following Christ, so that you follow him in practical ways by using your gifts for him, by being baptized, by worshipping God from your heart, by standing in awe of his holiness, by giving your time, talent, and treasure to God out of the abundance he has given you and out of thanksgiving for his free gift of salvation?
May this be true of each of us today! May each one of us be able to say of our dark experiences of life: “How awesome is this place. This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!”
When has your boss ever said to you: “Name your salary”? This only seems to happen in Hollywood or in sports. But, that’s what Laban said to Jacob. Laban didn’t have to pay Jacob for his work because Jacob was a houseguest (and houseguests usually worked for their keep), but he offers to do so. Laban appears forthright and generous but he has ulterior motives: (1) to make money through Jacob’s entrepreneurial talents; and (2) to change the uncle-nephew relationship to master-servant in order to control Jacob. So he says to Jacob: “Name your wages.”
Little did Laban know what Jacob’s answer would be. Nor did he dream of the impact it would have on his daughters, particularly Leah. In this story of “Leah: The Woman No Man Loved But Every Woman Envied,” the subject is about depending on God when you are rejected. The overall teaching for us in this story is that: “When you turn your focus from yourself to God, God pours out his blessing upon you.”
As we study this story, please notice some of the literary devices and structure that the story-teller uses, such as the intrigue and irony, and the parallelism between (1) Esau (Jacob’s older brother) and Leah (Rachel’s older sister); (2) between Jacob (the trickster) and Laban (the master trickster); and (3) between Jacob’s birth family and his own marital family.
The first picture in this story is of …
Leah is unwanted by three people. First, Leah is “disregarded” by her cousin, Jacob (29:16-20). Jacob already knows what he wants Laban to pay him. He doesn’t want Laban’s money; he wants his daughter - not Leah the older daughter but Rachel the younger. Jacob, the younger brother, is in love with Rachel, the younger sister. Just as Esau, the older brother, stood between Jacob and the blessing, so here Leah, the older sister, stands between Jacob and his bride.
Jacob probably knew the problem he was up against - that it was customary for a father to give his older daughter in marriage before the younger. But before he ever laid eyes on Leah he had fallen in love with Rachel. It was love at first sight (29:11). It wasn’t as though he looked at both daughters and said: “Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?” Jacob was smitten by Rachel from the first time he saw her. Comparing her to her older sister only confirmed his decision – there’s no contest. When Leah shows up, he isn’t attracted to her at all – “17 Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. 18 Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, ’I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.’” (29:17-18). Whatever “weak” means I’m not sure, but the context is clear. Leah was physically unattractive (at least in Jacob’s eyes), whereas Rachel was beautiful. He completely disregards Leah, but that poses a dilemma for Jacob: “How can I get Rachel when she is the younger daughter?” This is a love story with this distinct and complicated twist.
True to his character and upbringing, Jacob devised a plan. It was a very shrewd plan - one that would appeal to Laban’s economic interests and one that is so attractive that perhaps Laban would set aside the custom of giving the oldest daughter in marriage first. He says to Laban: “I’ve got a proposal for you” (Aside: “This is a deal you can’t refuse”). “I will serve you for seven years for your younger daughter Rachel” (29:18).
If Jacob is shrewd, Laban is even more shrewd. Laban agrees to Jacob’s proposal without hesitation. That’s the first sign that the deal perhaps wasn’t as good as Jacob thought. Seven years’ labour was a large amount of money. And as to the problem of giving his younger daughter first, Laban could deal with that when the time came - he could figure out a way around that if he had to. Besides, this may give him an opportunity to solve one of his big problems – how to marry off his unwanted daughter, Leah. Perhaps he could kill two birds with one proverbial stone – get rich and get rid of Leah all at the same time.
So he leaves himself some wiggle room in the deal. Thus, his answer is ambiguous and vague: “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me” (29:19). Notice, Laban does not say: “It’s a deal” to Jacob’s proposal. Nor does he refer to Rachel by name (only “her,” which could refer to either Leah or Rachel). Jacob has every reason to presume that Laban is in full agreement, but such is not the case.
So Jacob serves the seven years. Such is his love for Rachel that “they seemed to him but a few days” (29:20). Nothing was too much for him to have her as his wife - he was so in love that he didn’t even notice the time. When the seven years are up he called for his “wages.” He had fulfilled his obligation to the letter and his love for Rachel had not diminished one iota.
Leah (the woman nobody wants) is “disregarded” by her cousin, Jacob. And second, Leah is “discarded” by her father, Laban (29:21-27). Her father doesn’t want her either. So, he puts on a wedding feast (29:22), making it look as though he is fulfilling his end of the bargain. But all of this is just part of his “seven year” plan.
Leah now becomes the tool of Laban’s trickery. “…in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her” (29:23). How did Laban pull this off? Probably because of two factors. First, the wedding chamber was probably dark at night; and second, Jacob was probably suffering from the inebriating effects of the wedding feast. With these as his cover, Laban substitutes Leah for Rachel, just as Rebekah had earlier substituted Jacob for Esau. How ironic is this? Anyway, Jacob culminates the marriage without knowing that it was Leah, not Rachel.
In the morning light, Jacob discovers the shocking truth, “Behold, it was Leah!” (29:25a). Jacob is now the victim of his own deceptive methods. As they say, “What goes around comes around.” Jacob had pretended to be Esau in front of his father; now Leah pretends to be Rachel next to Jacob. Jacob had pretended to be his older brother; now Leah pretends to be her younger sister. Not only was Jacob tricked, but Leah and Rachel were tricked as well and that by their father! The dysfunctionality of this family continues.
Leah must have been totally embarrassed and Rachel must have been totally incensed – after all, she had waited for Jacob for 7 years! Helpless to do anything Jacob accosts Laban: “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” (29:25b). Now he understands what Esau must have felt like when he had swindled him out of his birthright. If Jacob was a swindler, Laban was a master swindler. Laban certainly “knew when to hold them and when to fold them” as they say.
Now, he reveals the trick that he had had 7 years to devise. “It is not so done in our country (29:26), he says to Jacob. “Perhaps back in Canaan you can usurp your older brother (wink, wink), but here in our country, we don’t give a younger sister before the firstborn sister. Our customs have been followed for hundreds of years. Who do you think I am? I’m a prominent man in the community you know. What would people think if I didn’t treat my oldest daughter right?”
God works mysteriously in his redemptive ways. Laban is a cruel father and a deceptive master but God used Laban’s cruelty and trickery to bring about Jacob’s ultimate good – namely, his humility and dependence upon God.
Perhaps there’s a Laban in your life right now and you’ve asked the Lord to remove it or him. Remember, God uses Labans to conform us to the image of his Son and for our eternal good. Just when Jacob thought he had it made, just when he had achieved his ultimate goal, just when life was turning from sour to sweet, “Behold, it was Leah.” What total disillusionment that must have been.
What you set your hopes on in this world invariably disappoints. It always fails to keep its promises, it can’t satisfy your deepest longings whether that is marriage, riches, education, or achievements. “Rachel” always turns out to be “Leah” if God isn’t in it. What we grasp for in the world retreats from us and fades. Like the wind, it slips through our fingers. Your spouse may be good, your education may be superior, your achievements may be sterling, but if your focus is on yourself in the morning it will always turn out to be Leah – not what you expected, merely a substitute.
This often sets up a cycle. Either, you start a cycle of grasping for more, blaming someone else, and becoming cynical, saying: “If there’s nothing in this world that ever satisfies me, what’s the use?” Or, you turn to God who alone can satisfy your deepest longings. To trust in relationships, achievements, or possessions is idolatry – the worship of something other than God. To look for lasting joy, satisfaction, and meaning in this world is foolishness. Jacob thought a beautiful wife was the answer: “She will give me what I never had at home. She will give me back a sense of self-worth, achievement, honour.” But “behold, it was Leah!”
And if Jacob is disillusioned, how do you think Leah felt about all of this? - that the only way her father could get rid of her was by way of a dirty, cheap trick; that her father wanted to get her married off at any cost; that because of her appearance, the only way her father could find a husband for her was by an act of total deception in the dark of night; that no man wanted to voluntarily marry her - nobody truly loved her. And what do you think Rachel’s reaction to all of this was? All these years she thought she was going to marry the man of her dreams, only to have her hopes dashed on the wedding night. How had her older, unattractive sister upstaged her? When did she find out? It must have been on the wedding night or else the secret would have been out. What would happen now? Would Jacob accept Laban’s counter-proposal or would Jacob head back to Canaan with Leah and leave her high and dry? And, if Jacob did accept Laban’s offer, could she accept sharing her husband with her sister?
It’s bad enough for Leah (the woman nobody wants) to be “disregarded” by her cousin, Jacob, “discarded” by her father, Laban, but now, thirdly, Leah is “displaced” by her sister, Rachel (29:28-30). Now Laban says to Jacob: “Listen, Jacob, have I got a deal for you! This will blow you away - I’ll give you Rachel as well as Leah. How do you like that! I’m a man of my word you know. I wouldn’t think of deceiving you and not keeping my part of the bargain. All you have to do is two simple things. First, spend the first week with Leah (the bridal week), and then, second, agree to serve me for another 7 years. That’s all. And just to show you goodwill, I won’t make you wait 7 more years for Rachel. After all, we agreed that you could have Rachel at the end of 7 years and you’ve already served that many. I’ll trust you, Jacob. I’ll give you Rachel at the end of this week, even before you serve the extra 7 years for her” (29:27).
Jacob, of course, agrees to the new deal. His love for Rachel was genuine and deep. So, he fulfills his obligation to Leah for the week and then marries Rachel as his second wife in return for agreeing to serve Laban for another seven years (29:28). But Jacob’s problems had only just begun. He was married to one woman he didn’t love but who wanted his love at any cost and who would be a lifelong reminder of Laban’s trick. He was married to another woman whom he loved dearly but who was barren. In addition, he was obligated to work for another seven years to fulfill his obligations to a man who had defrauded him.
Meanwhile, Leah’s darkness just gets progressively darker. Because of these two schemers, her life becomes a soap opera of favoritism, jealousy, competition, and distrust, which led to unhappiness, tension, stress, anxiety, and anger. This was the beginning of a rotten marriage because it began under false pretences and because her husband loved someone else - “Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah” (29:30). It’s a bit like the Prince Charles and Princess Diana story.
Do you see how the parental favoritism showed by Jacob’s parents to their children now becomes marital favoritism shown by their son? What had produced friction in Jacob’s parents’ family now causes friction in his own family. And Leah’s darkness reaches pitch black. She isn’t wanted by her husband – he disregards her. She isn’t wanted by her father – he discards her. And she isn’t wanted by her sister – she displaces her. Leah is truly “the woman that nobody wants.”
Perhaps you can identify with her. Perhaps someone in your workplace got a promotion ahead of you and you were disregarded. Perhaps your husband doesn’t appreciate you for who you are or he found someone else more interesting and you’ve been pushed aside and you feel displaced and discarded. Perhaps your children don’t show respect for you and are disobedient to you and you feel demeaned and used by them. Perhaps the church hasn’t given you the opportunity to use your gifts as you would like to, or people haven’t been as friendly to you as you think they should and you feel distanced and alone. That’s how Leah felt and that’s how Jesus felt. He was disregarded – “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him” (Jn. 1:11). He was discarded – they cast him out, saying, “We do not want this man to reign over us” (Lk. 19:14). He was displaced – they chose Barabbas, a robber, rather than him (Matt. 27:21). “He was despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isa. 53:3). So, he knows all about you. He knows the deepest feelings of your heart. He knows the rejection, the rudeness, the insults, perhaps even the persecution you have suffered. And be sure of this, he cares more about you than anyone else in the world ever can or will. That was true in the life of Leah. You see, when the Lord steps into the picture, Leah “the woman nobody wants” becomes…
How can things change so radically? How such a turnaround? Because God turns darkness into dawn. First, we see that the Lord’s eye of compassion sees her (29:31) – “When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb” (29:31a). Though Leah was not loved by Jacob, she was loved by God. As God had sovereignly chosen Jacob (the second born) over Esau (the first born), so now he chooses Leah (the unloved) over Rachel (the loved).
First, the Lord’s eye of compassion sees her, and second, the Lord’s hand of mercy blesses her (29:31b-35). God’s love for her is evidenced by his action on her behalf. During the second 7 years that Jacob worked for Laban, Leah produced 7 children. In fact, she has four sons in a row (having sons was the ultimate blessing in child birth), while Rachel remains childless. Notice that Jacob isn’t mentioned either in any of the acts of conception or in the naming of the children. “God opened her womb (29:31b). He is the source and means of her fruitfulness and blessing. Leah may not have had Rachel’s beautiful looks but Rachel does not have Leah’s fruitful womb. Leah doesn’t covet Rachel’s looks but Rachel covets Leah’s fertility (30:1).
Look at Leah’s first four sons and what it tells us about Leah and about the deep longing of so many wives for a healthy marital relationship. Her first son she calls “Reuben, for she said, ‘Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; therefore now my husband will love me’”(29:32). Leah wanted recognition from her husband. She wanted to be seen by him but he doesn’t see her. But God sees the underdog, the despised, the outcast, the vulnerable (just as he did Hagar) and when he sees he acts. God looked upon Leah and she desperately hoped her husband would too.
Her second son she calls Simeon - “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.’ And she called his name Simeon” (29:33). Simeon means “heard.” Leah wanted communication with her husband. She wanted to be heard by him but he doesn’t hear her. She is still unloved; nothing has changed try as she might to please him. She couldn’t share her pain with Jacob but she did with God. He heard her cry. He was her source of strength. He knew all about her and he had blessed her with this son.
Her third son she calls Levi – “Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, ‘Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.’ Therefore his name was called Levi” (29:34). Levi means “attached.” Leah desperately wants affection from her husband. She hadn’t been loved by her father or any other man, so surely Jacob would at least become “attached” to her now that she had given him three sons. She was still living in hope that though she could not attract Jacob with her beauty, she could attract him through her fertility. The truth is, she gives Jacob sons but he doesn’t give her love.
But on what basis did she think she could procure her husband’s love? Did she really think that by producing sons she would earn Jacob’s respect and love? No! Despite all her hopes and desperate attempts to gain her husband’s attention and affection Jacob continued to love Rachel and reject Leah. He was sexually intimate with Leah but emotionally and spiritually detached. She desperately searches for the keys to a healthy relationship - recognition (Reuben), communication (Simeon), and affection (Levi), but she doesn’t find them in Jacob.
Her fourth son she calls Judah, which means “praise.” Leah realizes she’s not going to win Jacob’s love through her own efforts so, when all else fails, she turns to God! Instead of focusing on herself and this overriding compulsion, she now focuses on God. He is the only one she can rely on, the only one who loves her unconditionally, the only one who can make her fruitful. Now she no longer laments her condition. Instead she says, “This time I will praise the Lord” (29:35b). “This time I’m not going to focus on myself but on God.” And, as we noted at the beginning, “when you turn your focus from yourself to God, God pours out his blessing upon you” because God turns the darkness of our lives into the dawn of his blessing.
God’s blessing is beyond anything Leah could have ever imagined. From the womb of an unloved woman and from the pain of an unexpected and unwanted marriage, come two wonderful O.T. institutions – the priesthood and the monarchy. From the line of Levi (her third son) would come the Levitical priesthood (including Moses and Aaron). And from the line of Judah (her fourth son) would come the principal line of monarchy from which ultimately would come the Messiah! – “the Lion of the tribe of Judah” (Rev. 5:5). Leah would be the great, great etc. grandmother of Jesus, the Saviour of the world, the Deliverer, the promised Messiah! She became the woman every Jewish woman would envy, because every Jewish woman would have wanted to be a mother in the Messianic line!
Leah thought that bearing children was the answer - the answer to her unattractiveness, nothingness, and rejection. “For then,” she reasoned, “my husband will love me and take notice of me. Then I will be worthy.” But it didn’t work that way. If you think you can find meaning in life, happiness, significance, and self-worth in a spouse, you’ll be emotionally dependent and your life will go to pieces when he or she doesn’t turn out to be what you expected. In your achievements you’ll be disillusioned and cynical when you get overlooked and someone else gets the promotion, the pay raise, the recognition. If that’s you, then you’re just like Leah. You need to recognize that idols and achievements only make the disillusionment of the world far worse and that God is the only source of true and lasting joy, happiness, love, recognition, and meaning in life.
When Leah turned to God “she ceased bearing children” (29:35c). Why? Because when God became real to her through his great power in her she no longer needed to bear children to find what she was searching for. Instead, she had the God who gave her the children. Leah came to the realization that even though her father treated her cruelly and discarded her, even though her husband disregarded her, and even though her sister displaced her, God was her refuge and solace. He had saved her by his grace. Only when she took her eyes off self and fixed them on God, only when she stopped relying on her achievements in bearing children, only when she turned to the Creator of her children and said: “This time I will praise the Lord”(29:35b), only then did she find release, joy, insight. Only then did her dark life turn into the dawn of God’s blessing.
And when Leah turned everything over to God, God blessed her beyond her wildest imagination. She would be the one whose progeny would ultimately give birth to Jesus. Through her son, Judah, the Messiah would come. Leah “the woman nobody wants” became Leah “the woman every woman envies,” the mother of the Redeemer’s line! She went from a nobody to a somebody.
When you learn that you are bankrupt, helpless, and hopeless, that you can’t climb Jacob’s ladder to heaven by your own efforts, and when you turn your focus from yourself to God, then God pours out his blessing upon you. He is the answer to your deepest longings.
When you realize that you can’t earn what you yearn for (whether it be your spouse’s recognition, communication, or affection, or your bosses’ commendation), and you turn to God, then God sees you and comes to your aid. Remember: “When you turn your focus from yourself to God, God pours out his blessing upon you.”
God loves those who are unloved and unwanted. He pours his grace into the lives of the outcasts and the despised. He is the Father to the fatherless, the husband to the widow, and the protector of the vulnerable. He exalts the humble, feeds the hungry, and gives strength to the weak.
If you’re searching for meaning and happiness, God recognizes your condition. He communicates the answer in the gospel through his Son. He loves you with an everlasting love.
If you feel disregarded, discarded, and displaced, will you turn your focus from yourself to God? His eye of compassion will see you and his hand of mercy will bless you. He will satisfy your every longing in the person of Jesus Christ and you’ll say: “This time I will praise the Lord” (29:35b). After you’ve tried and tried to find meaning and happiness in life by your own endeavours, when you turn to God you’ll find that Jesus Christ is all you want and all you need.
Perhaps your past has brought you to a point in your life of complete helplessness and hopelessness; when everything seems black and you don’t know where to turn; when you want to forget the past because it only brings you pain. Sometimes, the experiences and hurts of the past just don’t seem to go away, do they? The memories still stare you in the face as if it were yesterday. Old attitudes and habits still plague you.
Perhaps you’ve spent your life in an attitude of self-sufficiency, “I’ll-do-it-my-way,” “I-don’t-need-God” kind of attitude. But now you’re not so sure anymore. Perhaps you’ve perpetuated the habits with which you grew up. Your home life was anything but stable, perhaps abusive even. And now you realize that you’re just a carbon copy of all that you despise about your past and you desperately want to leave it all behind. Or, perhaps you’ve worked all the angles; you’ve taken all the tax breaks (interpreted the income tax rules liberally), and you’ve gained a measure of success and status.
But all of a sudden your life has come unravelled. Your empire has come tumbling down, and like Humpty Dumpty “all the kings horses and all the kings men can’t put it back together again.” Perhaps you’re facing the night of your life right now.
Well, remember this: The night of agony always comes before the dawn of relief. That’s the primary teaching of our text. The darkness of dread precedes the light of liberty. Chaos of conscience goes before the calm of communion. The trauma of struggling blocks the tranquility of resting. The turmoil of striving pre-empts the security of trusting.
A few years ago I had a frozen shoulder. I had never heard of such a condition before. One morning I woke up and thought I had slept on my shoulder the wrong way. But it didn’t go away. In fact, it gradually got worse so that by the time I went to the doctor, it was fully frozen. The pain was excruciating. In fact, one time I was waiting for my wife in a store, and someone brushed up against me, making me move my arm quickly. I nearly passed out, the pain was so bad. When I began physiotherapy treatment, the physiotherapist said, “I’ll have to hurt you to make you better.” In other words, the night of agony always comes before the dawn of relief.
Twenty years have now passed since Jacob tricked his brother, Esau. And many more years than that have transpired since he chased his twin down the birth canal, grabbing onto his heel for all he was worth. And so began a life of fancy footwork. Up to this point, Jacob has been running away, but ...
Jacob was a product of his past ambition. From his birth he couldn’t stand to be in second place. He had to be number 1 and he set out to prove that he was the best. He cheated his twin brother twice (first, out of his birthright and second, out of his father’s blessing), pulled the wool over his old father’s blind eyes, and conned his father-in-law out of the best livestock. Jacob was a product of his past ambition.
And Jacob was a product of his past environment. He had been raised in a dysfunctional home. He observed his parents’ divided affections – his father Isaac loved Esau; whereas his mother, Rebekah, loved him, Jacob. He recognized his father’s lack of leadership and godly example. He learned from his mother how to stretch the truth convincingly. And then there was his twin brother, who was so much like him and yet so different: Jacob was a mother’s boy; Esau was a “man’s man.” Jacob was level-headed (Mr. Cool, the strong quiet type) and ruthless to get his own way; Esau was rough and ready, an outdoorsman, but complacent about life (he undervalued the things that mattered, like his birthright). Jacob was the product of his past.
So, when things turned ugly at home, Jacob began running. He ran to uncle Laban’s house where through cunning and clever manipulation he prospered. By this time he had 12 children and he had accumulated a significant net worth.
But, when things turned ugly again, he began running again. When Laban wasn’t looking Jacob loaded up his animals and his family and left without even saying “goodbye.”
And so you can see how Jacob’s past shaped his values and character. For him the end always justified the means. Friends and family were treated just like anybody else - if that meant stealing, fraud, scheming, treachery, so be it. With friends like him, who needs enemies?
But God is at work again in his life. When God tells him to return to his family in Canaan, Jacob thinks it’s a great idea to escape from Laban’s clutches, manipulation, and jealousy. But what he didn’t know is that God was saying: “Jacob, it’s time! Time to deal with your past!”
Running from the past doesn’t solve your problems because (1) the past has a way of catching up with you (22-23). It caught up with Jacob here at the river Jabbok. So far, he had gotten what he wanted but at a great cost. We don’t know if he ever saw his mother again and he had certainly severed his relationship with his brother. Up to now, he hadn’t worried about meeting Esau again. He could patch things up; he could buy him off with presents. After all, he was wealthy now (32:1-5). But Esau’s wrath has been festering for 20 years. When he hears that his brother is returning, his anger boils over.
Jacob’s men return from taking peace offerings to Esau and they report that Esau is coming with 400 men (32:6)! Jacob intuitively knows that this isn’t a welcome home party. Esau means business: this is all-out war! Jacob’s fancy-footed, slick-handed scheming now looks pretty inadequate. He has just run right into a brick wall, and with no more tricks up his sleeve, he has to face the music. He has to look himself square in the face and he has only one place to turn – that’s to God!
He could have kept running, I suppose, but he didn’t. Perhaps by this time he was sick of running, tired of the sleazy side of his character, hated who he was and wanted to put it right. Perhaps he had finally reached the end of himself and his self-sufficient, self-improving, ambitious lifestyle. Or, perhaps he knew that he had just run out of options: he’d tossed the dice just one too many times. Whatever the reason, he played his last card (22-23) by dividing his company into two, so that if Esau got one party the other could escape (cf. 32:7f.), and he sent them on ahead while he was left alone.
Running from the past doesn’t solve your problems because (1) the past has a way of catching up with you and (2) eventually you have to stop running. There comes a time when you’re “left alone” (24a).
To be “left alone” with God is both frightening and exhilarating. Jacob had been alone with God once before when he was on the run at Bethel, as we noticed in a previous article (“When the sun sets: Jacob meets God,” Gen. 27:41-28:22). That time it was exhilarating. There was the vision, the ladder, the angels. And God’s promise to Abraham from years ago was renewed so that Jacob declares: “Surely, the Lord is in this place. And I did not know it…How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the very gate of heaven” (28:16). That was exhilarating and undoubtedly Jacob made a genuine commitment to serve God at that time. But he still has issues to deal with. He still has the old “end-justifies-the-means” ethics to deal with. He still has his old scheming character that he had inherited from his mother to deal with. He still has the past to deal with before God.
Last time his encounter with God was exhilarating, but this time his encounter with God is frightening! Now he meets God again – not at Bethel, but at the river Jabbok. Jabbok is the place where we stop running and fighting; the place of intense blackness - the midnight of the soul; the place where the moment of truth dawns - that we’re completely spent, no more ideas, the past has caught up to us, we’re at the dead end in the road, we’re trapped in the web of our own weaving; the place where we are alone; the place of wrestling; the place of a meeting with God.
Running from the past doesn’t solve your problems but…
Jacob wrestled tenaciously and desperately all night “until the break of day” (24b). Perhaps he wrestled about his past behaviour and habits - his duplicity, lies, scheming, fraud; about his present predicament which loomed large - his pending meeting with Esau; about his future destiny: “How could he change once-and-for-all and face the future? How could he be a man of integrity, at peace with God and other people?” You can be sure of this, a meeting with God stops you in your tracks (25). When God “wrestles” with you, you don’t go anywhere. You may struggle but you can’t get away.
Many of you have probably experienced a night of wrestling with God. Some people are very content with the way they are - complacent, no longing for God, no hunger for him. But others would do anything to change the way they are and what they’ve done. Great people have wrestled with God in the night of their lives. After his tryst with Bathsheba, David cried out in the agony of his soul: “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Sam. 12:13). After his seduction by Delilah, Samson pleaded with God: “O Lord God, remember me, I pray! Strengthen me, I pray, just this once” (Judges 16:28). After Elijah had succumbed to Jezebel’s threat, he moaned: “I, even I only, am left and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kgs 19:10). After Peter had denied the Lord with oaths and curses, he “went out and wept bitterly” (Lk. 22:62).
Some people come to Jabbok and decide to keep on running. They never face their past – only live for the present – and they don’t care about the future. They banish the past into the closet with all the other skeletons of their lives. They just rationalize what happened - make lifelong excuses: “I was a victim! It wasn’t my fault. There are lots worse than I.” They keep on running hoping that in the end they’ll escape. But there is no escape from God.
Some people decide to keep on running, others decide to wrestle this thing to the ground. They’re at the Jabbok where God stops them in their tracks. In fact, the only way to overcome your past is to “wrestle” with God. Maybe that’s where you are right now. Perhaps you’re plagued with regrets - about your family, about relationships. Or, you’ve abused your position of power - in your family, your church, your work. Or, perhaps you have a secret sin that for years you’ve tried to cover up or beat, but you can’t. Maybe you’ve neglected God in your Christian life and you have lived like an unbeliever; you’ve hurt someone and never been reconciled; you’ve suffered from abusive relationships that torture you; you’ve engaged in immoral behaviour that torments you; your shady business dealings keep you awake at night; your cheating on exams gives you cold sweats; your unfaithfulness to your spouse haunts you; you have character traits that you long to change – a poisonous tongue, a bitter spirit, a hot temper, or a critical attitude.
And now you’re at the point you can’t stand it any longer. Your conscience is driving you crazy if you don’t deal with it. You can’t cover it up any more nor can you ignore it. Now, naked and exposed under the midnight sky you wrestle with God. The veneer is stripped off; you look yourself straight in the mirror and you’re forced to face it head on - no more hiding down the dark alleys of your past, no more mind games, but a head-on confrontation with God.
Be aware your hip may be dislocated in the process (25). Jacob had been a survivor. He had always won out. Every time there was a dispute, he came out smelling like a rose. Every time he was in a fix, he came up with a solution. But now he would have an experience like none other. God would permanently wound him.
When you wrestle with God you may be wounded. You’ll certainly lose; God always conquers. And sometimes he has to cripple you. When you wrestle with God, you feel his body next to yours. You feel his power as he inflicts a wound. And when you feel that stabbing pain in your hip, you know the reality of his presence and his power. Wounds bring contrition, repentance, yearning for God. A. W. Tozer put it like this: “I doubt that God can use a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”
Where was your first Jabbok? When have you been wounded as you wrestled with God? When did you feel the stabbing dislocation of your hip as God deals with you and your past? When were you driven to call on God in your trouble?
A meeting with God (1) stops you in your tracks and (2) a meeting with God makes you cry for a blessing (26-29). Jacob knew all about the blessing of God. He knew how God had blessed his grandfather, Abraham, with a son at 100 years old. He knew how his father, Isaac, had been delivered from the jaws of death on Mt. Moriah. And he himself had received a blessing from his father. To wrestle with God is to plead with God for a blessing.
If you’re in pain today that others have inflicted on you, then cry from the bottom of your heart: “O, God, I will not let you go until you bless me! Rid me of the pain from all those years of abuse. Take away the torment of my mind. Remove the pangs of conscience that hang like a thick cloud.”
Perhaps you’re the perpetrator of sin – you’ve inflicted pain on others. Then cry to God in the agony of your soul: “O, God, I’m sick of the past. I need a second chance, a new beginning. I hate who I am and what I have done. I desperately want a fulfilling life. I want to put right the wrongs I have done. I desperately want to know You. Change me, O God!”
If you need to get right with God about anything, say: “O, God, I will not let you go unless you bless me! Forgive the sin of my life - my self-sufficiency that left you out; my infidelity, lusts, envy, covetousness; the pornography I’m addicted to; my pride; my unfaithfulness to my spouse; my cheating; my fraudulent habits; my deceitfulness; the abuse of my body with drugs and sex.”
God will honour your cry and bless you (27-29), just as he honoured Jacob’s cry and blessed him. And he’ll radically transform your life. He’ll bless you with a new name, a new identity (28). God asked Jacob: “What’s your name?” (27). That seems like a strange question for God to ask – didn’t he know Jacob’s name? Perhaps God asked Jacob his name to remind Jacob of the last time he had been asked that question, “Who are you?” (27:18). That question was asked by his old, blind father and Jacob had lied to him. Now he is before an all-seeing God and he gives his correct name. He acknowledges who he was and God responds with a great promise: “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed” (28).
Jacob’s name told the story of his life. It was his identity as a usurper, whose birth portrayed what his life would subsequently be - the second-born twin who sought to overtake his first-born brother by grabbing onto his heel as he exited the birth canal; the one who would seek to trip others up and overtake them.
You need to acknowledge your old name, who you really are. Then, God will give you a new name – a new name that will take away the stigma of the old life; a new name to remind you that, formerly, you took charge of your life but that you struggled with God and finally prevailed; a new name that acknowledges that now “God is the ruler of your life.”
Running from the past doesn’t solve your problems but a meeting with God brings you to your senses, so that now…
(1) You can face the future with renewed hope when you’ve “seen the face of God” (30). God breaks through our past and opens the future so that we can say: “I have seen God face to face and yet my life has been delivered” (30).
The place of wrestling is the place of divine appointment. It’s the place where we suddenly realize that the person with whom we wrestled is none other than God, that we have actually met God face to face and lived to tell the tale!
Have you ever seen God face to face? No one can see God and remain unchanged. You’ll get a new name and you’ll lose your independence. You’ll walk with a limp and lean on a cane for the rest of your life. To walk with God means to lean on him, to claim his power. Remember, Esau is always at the gate threatening, swaggering, waiting to throw us off the path. He’s the Judas (betrayer), the Diotrephes (pre-eminence), the Demas (loved the world), the Alexander the coppersmith (opposer). Whenever he shows up, he whispers: “We’re at the Jabbok again.”
You can face the future with renewed hope (1) when you’ve seen the face of God, and (2) you can face the future with renewed hope when the sun finally rises (31). As an aside, notice how the author has book-ended this segment of Jacob’s life with these two expressions: “The sun had set” (28:11) and now “the sun rose” (32:31).
Jacob emerges from the night and “the sun rose upon him” (31a). When God breaks through our past, the darkness of night becomes a beautiful sunrise. Sorrow may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning (Ps. 30:15).
Perhaps the sun hasn’t shone much in your life recently. You may have spent a lot of time in darkness, desperately longing for the sun to finally rise. Is that what you want more than anything today, to walk out of this service into the sun rise of your life? To feel the sunshine of God’s love shine upon you? To know the beauty of God’s truth as it infiltrates your soul? To bask in the radiant heat of God’s all-embracing mercy and power?
As he goes to meet Esau, Jacob “limped on his hip” (31b). The limp serves two purposes: (a) it reminds us that we can’t stand on our own, that we’re totally dependent on God, that we must lean on him. Every time you take a step, get out of bed, put your shoes on, you’ll know that a life lived for God is a dependent life. So, it reminds us that we can’t stand on our own, and (b) it preserves us from ever trying to run again. It ensures that we stay close to God.
The subsequent practice by the Israelites of not eating “the sinew of the thigh” (32:32) would surely have served as a constant reminder to them of what happened to Jacob that memorable night when God changed him from one who was running away to the man who was returning to be the leader of God’s people.
Remember our thesis: The night of agony always comes before the dawn of relief. This scene closes at the dawn of a new day. In the early morning sunlight we see Jacob limping into the sunrise across the Jabbok, ready to face Esau with courage and joy. Now his life can begin anew. If you need to settle things with God and with other people, don’t continue to fight it, to put it off, to rationalize it. Don’t think there will be a better time. There’s never a better time than now.
Don’t be afraid that it’s too late or it’s too complicated. No amount of years is too long for God to span. It took Jacob years to deal with his habits, attitudes, and self-reliance until God wrestled him to the ground. And he has gone down in history as the father of the Israelites. No life is too far gone for God to bless.
If you had to choose whether to bless Jacob or Esau, whom would you choose? You’d probably choose Esau, because we look on the outward appearance. But remember that God looks on the heart, for where we see a cheat God sees a champion; where we see a runner God sees a wrestler; where we see a liar God sees a leader.
God sees into your life with all its past and he wants to bless you for the future. For you that may seem like a daunting task, but, as Max Lucado puts it: “For God… it’s all in a night’s work.”
If this message today has touched a cord in your life, why not make a commitment to God now, whether you have suffered pain or inflicted pain; whether you’ve been running or you’ve stopped running? Remember, God pours healing into hearts that are hurting; God gives grace to people in pain; and God extends mercy to sinners and saints who repent.
Perhaps this was what the hymn writer had in mind when she wrote:
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
no tender voice like thine can peace afford.
I need thee, O I need thee; every hour I need thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.
A documentary series that my wife and I used to watch from time to time is called “The Locator”. In these documentaries, Troy Dunn (“the locator”) tracks down and attempts to reunite families – a missing sister or brother, children given up at birth etc. There are many tragic stories, many of which have happy endings.
One happy ending was the story of a woman in the military who had a relationship with another soldier. They broke up and shortly afterward she discovered she was pregnant. Feeling that the father was too young to take on this responsibility she decided to not notify him. Subsequently, she gave birth to a boy, whose questions about his father during his growing up years she never properly answered. Finally, when her son was about 25 years old, he contacted Troy Dunn to find his father for him, which Troy did.
Watching the initial meetings of many of these estranged family members is interesting and moving to watch. Some end in disaster, like a daughter who did not want to meet her father who had abandoned her. But this one was a very positive experience for all involved. By the time they meet, the young man’s father has a wife and 3 teenage children, none of whom knew of course that he had another son because he himself didn’t know. After finding out that he had another son, he discussed the situation with his wife and children, all of whom were excited about meeting him.
On the appointed day, they all met and welcomed him with open arms as one of their family – a happy reunion. I wondered why they could so quickly and willingly and lovingly accept him, as many families do not react that way in this type of situation. But then, as the camera panned around the room in their house where they were meeting, I noticed a plaque on the wall. That plaque gave me the clue to why this family was so accepting in their reconciliation with their new son, brother, and grandson. The plaque said: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” These were Christians who knew the truth and reality of the grace of God in reconciliation. That’s our subject in this message: God’s grace in reconciliation.
We learn in our passage that reconciliation is made possible through humility and love that are rooted in God’s grace. When Jacob was at Bethel in Genesis 28, God had promised that He would give him the land on which he was lying, that He would be with Jacob and keep him wherever he went, and that He would bring him back to this land (28:13, 15). Now God fulfills that promise, directing Jacob back to Canaan, to the land of his ancestors and his family relations (31:3). So, Jacob packs up all his possessions and family that he had acquired in Paddan-aram to go back to Canaan (31:17-18).
But the past has a way of catching up with you. It caught up with Jacob at the river Jabbok (32:22-32) and it catches up with him now in our chapter. So far, he had gotten what he wanted but at a great cost - he had lost contact with his mother and he had severed his relationship with his brother, Esau. Now he must face Esau for the first time in 20 years. He could have kept running as he had before, but he didn’t. Perhaps by this time he has finally reached the end of himself and his self-sufficient, self-improving, ambitious lifestyle. Perhaps he knows that he has run out of options. Or, perhaps he intends to be obedient to God’s call to go back home and face the music whatever that might be.
After wrestling with God all night, Jacob limps across the river Jabbok and, “lifting up his eyes” he saw Esau “coming with 400 men (33:1). Clearly this sight unnerves Jacob. It seems to him that Esau is bent on exacting the vengeance he had threatened before (27:41). But, in fact that was not the case at all. Instead, Jacob receives from Esau acceptance and affection. In this meeting we see that…
Reconciliation is a powerful force for most people. We don’t generally like living with fractured, distant relationships. We have this inner longing for restoration, unity, happiness. The last time they were together, Jacob was so determined to get the blessing from his father, Isaac, that he went to extraordinary lengths to deceive Isaac and defraud Esau out of his birthright. As a result, Esau hated Jacob so much that he threatened to kill him (27:41).
Now they are meeting for the first time after that episode. Jacob, the offender, is about to meet Esau, the offended. What we see here in this process of reconciliation is that…
1. Reconciliation is initiated by a renewed attitude (33:1-3). Up to now, Jacob hadn’t worried about meeting Esau again. He could patch things up - he could buy him off with presents. After all, he is wealthy now as 32:1-5 indicate. But when he sees Esau approaching with a small army, Jacob is clearly suspicious about what to expect. So, not knowing how this will turn out, in addition to the earlier division of his entire company (32:7), he now also divides up his family into four – (1) the two servants with their children in front; then (2) Leah with her children; and (3) Rachel (his favorite) and Joseph at the rear, the place of greatest safety; and (4) Jacob “himself went on before them” (33:3a). Notice that previously Jacob had stayed behind (32:16, 18), but now he takes the lead. He is living up to his new name, “Israel” – he is a leader now, leading the way and protecting his family.
Jacob didn’t know what was in Esau’s heart and Esau didn’t know what to expect from Jacob. But quickly it became apparent that both brothers longed for reconciliation – both the offender and the offended. We need to appreciate the enormity of this moment - two brothers meeting for the first time after 20 years of estrangement. This is a climactic moment! How will it turn out? What will happen? Thankfully, this time, Jacob is not out to defraud his bother. Rather, he takes the low place, “bowing himself to the ground seven times until he came near his brother” (33:3b).
While no words are exchanged at this point, the brothers’ actions speak louder than words. Taking the low place is the best attitude you can take in the process of reconciliation. “Bowing” here (and in vv. 6 and 7) is an act of contrition and repentance. Previously Jacob had taken the high place when he defrauded his older brother out of his birthright, but now Jacob takes the low place before Esau. Previously, Isaac had told Jacob that “nations would bow down to him” (27:29), but now Jacob bows down to Esau. He is not used to bowing down to others but he had to bow down to God - first at Bethel and then at the river Jabbok. And now, he bows before Esau as a slave to his master. This is a radically renewed attitude. This is humility, submission. More than that it’s contrition and repentance - the lesser bowing before the greater; the servant to his lord.
Jacob surely is a changed man. His encounter with God at the Jabbok seems to have changed him spiritually and physically. His permanent limp prevents him from ever running again. It reminds him that he has met God face to face. Now he is a changed man with a new identity – no longer Jacob but Israel (32:28). Accordingly, he takes a new posture before Esau, demonstrating inward renewal in a new attitude. A new of attitude is a prerequisite for reconciliation, changing from dominance to subservience, from taking away (his deceit) to giving back (in the gifts).
Words do not express what actions can and do. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Prov. 15:1). While some people find regret and repentance hard to express in words, it is even harder to express in actions. To bow down literally or metaphorically before someone whom we have offended and take that low place is hard. It strikes hard against our pride and self-justification. The question in Jacob’s mind must surely have been: “How will Esau react? Will he now carry out his threat to kill me?”
First, then, reconciliation is initiated by a renewed attitude…
2. Reconciliation is initiated by a renewed heart (33:4). Jacob has no idea how Esau will react. Indeed he has every reason to think that this meeting is not going to go well. Perhaps Esau would try to exact revenge by harming Jacob’s family or taking his possessions as recompense for the birthright he had lost before. It sure looked that way to him. Perhaps Esau still wants to prove his entitlement to their father’s blessing as the older son. Perhaps 20 years had reinforced and exacerbated Esau’s hatred and desire for revenge. But, by God’s grace, such is not the case.
In fact, instead of evil intent, Esau expresses affection, an eagerness for reunion, unconditional acceptance, a spontaneous act of vulnerability in a renewed heart. Esau is not out for revenge and certainly not murder. Rather, he demonstrates unqualified affection for his long lost brother (33:4).
Notice the contrast between the greetings of these two brothers. Jacob greets Esau like a servant to his master, but Esau greets Jacob like a brother to his brother. First, he “ran to meet Jacob,” this in contrast to Jacob’s limp. There is an evident eagerness in Esau to meet Jacob. His running to Jacob contrasts with Jacob’s slow approach, bowing himself to the ground. Second, he “embraced Jacob,” in contrast Jacob just “came near” (33:3). Third, Esau “fell on his neck and kissed Jacob,” an ironical reminder of how Jacob had kissed Isaac (27:27). Lastly, “they wept.” This is genuine affection on display, a softness of heart, a demonstration of true reconciliation.
A changed attitude and a changed heart - both of which changes are necessary for reconciliation to take place. The heart is the centre of our emotions and Jesus said that “out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murder…” (Matt. 15:19). That’s where broken relationships start – in the heart. Violent emotions that go unchecked can lead to behavior as egregious as murder.
So, what about your heart? If you are a Christian and you hold bitter feelings against someone, then you need to examine your own heart first. Whenever we experience fractured relationships we need to ensure that we are not holding bitterness in our own hearts, because bitterness eats away like a cancer, which if untreated can kill you - spiritually and emotionally. “See that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled” (Heb. 12:15). Bitterness manifests itself in your attitude to others. Bitterness not only eats away at you on the inside but it affects everyone else around you as well. As believers we are united through the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is grieved and his work among us is quenched when our relationships are severed or distant or bitter. I know that reconciliation with someone who has hurt you or whom you have hurt is not easy, because it’s not easy to take the low place. So, I’m not trivializing the process of reconciliation – it includes repentance, confession, forgiveness, and trust. But, what I’m saying is that the process starts with you – with your attitude and your heart.
Apparently Esau has a renewed heart. He has dealt with his bitter feelings against Jacob. His thoughts of murder have changed to feelings of affection. Instead of anger, he exudes warmth and love, embracing and kissing Jacob. The tension is released and “they wept” together. There is nothing quite like love and tears to bring down the walls of disagreement and separation. Tears are good for your own soul. They somehow ameliorate the hurt and sadness and bitterness.
First, then, reconciliation is initiated by inward renewal – renewal of one’s attitude and renewal of one’s heart. Second…
1. Reconciliation is expressed by acknowledging God’s grace (33:5-7). Rarely is personal reconciliation limited to one-on-one. Usually it involves others, typically family members. Here Esau extends grace to the entire family. “When Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children he said, ‘Who are these with you?’” (33:5a).
Esau takes the initiative to inquire about the rest of Jacob’s family in this act of reconciliation: “Who are these with you?” This is a very normal question when meeting family members for the first time, especially in the context of reconciliation. Jacob replies, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant” (33:5b). Jacob still does not address Esau as his brother, preferring to emphasize his subservience to him, retaining a formal master and servant relationship. Is this because he felt awkward, embarrassed? Or, is this because he wants to emphasize his change of attitude, no longer seeking to dominate but to serve. Importantly, he attributes his family to a gift of God’s grace. That is exactly what it was – a gift of God’s grace.
One by one the various parties in Jacob’s large family draw near to Esau (33:6-7). First, the servants, Bilhah and Zilpah with their children, then Leah with her children, and finally Rachel with her child, Joseph. They all “bowed down” before Esau (vv. 6, 7b) in an act of respect and family unity.
So, reconciliation is expressed in outward actions. First, reconciliation is expressed by acknowledging God’s grace. Second…
2. Reconciliation is expressed by making restitution (33:8-11). Everything that is happening seems to be overwhelming for Esau – he is flabbergasted. He can’t comprehend what’s going on: “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” (33:8a). He is dumbfounded by the extent of Jacob’s company and the massive quantity of gifts they brought from Jacob (32:13-21). It all appears to be over the top. He can’t comprehend it all. Jacob answers, “To find favor in the sight of my lord” (33:8b). “That’s what this is about, Esau - it’s about restitution. It’s about demonstrating to you that I am deeply sorry for what I did when I stole your birthright. It’s about showing you my repentance in action not just words. I want to find favor in your sight, Esau. That’s what this is about and as a show of goodwill I want to repay you.”
It appears that Jacob wants in some way to repay the blessing that he had stolen from Esau those many years ago. In a gracious response, Esau says: “I have enough, my brother, keep what you have for yourself” (33:9). Notice that Jacob calls Esau “lord” in v. 8, but Esau calls Jacob “brother” in v. 9. Esau clearly wants a closer relationship with Jacob than Jacob wants with him. “Despite what you stole from me, I am well-provided for; I don’t need or want your gifts. I have enough,” Esau replies. Esau evidently bears no revenge, wants no recompense, isn’t looking for financial reward. What he wants is a relationship with his brother.
Jacob insists: “10 No, please, if I have found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God and you have accepted me. 11 Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.” Thus he urged him (Esau), and he took it” (33:10-11). Meeting Esau is likened by Jacob to “seeing the face of God,” which he had seen before at Bethel (28:16-17) and which he had just seen again at the Jabbok (32:22-31). Thus, the blessing that he had received from God there he wants to extend now to his brother. Seeing Esau for the first time in 20 years, he sees a reflection of the grace of God in Esau’s face. Just as he sought a blessing from God at the Jabbok, so now he seeks Esau’s favor and blessing. So, in an act of pure grace, Esau accepts the gifts as a demonstration of his acceptance of his brother, as a token that all is restored between them, as a measure of goodwill. Jacob wants to find favor in Esau’s sight and to bless Esau and Esau accepts Jacob’s gifts on that basis.
Would it were so that all broken relationships were thus restored - that the offender would be so constrained to seek the favor of the offended one; that such brokenness would be manifested by all parties whose relationships have been broken; that such humility and subservience would be shown by all offenders. I appeal to any reader who has cut off someone else’s ear and heart by their behavior and words, bring it to an end now. Do what you have to do to restore the relationship. Start by showing your utter humility, shame, brokenness and your repentance for ever having caused the severance in the first place. Seek the forgiveness and favor of the other person. And pray for God’s grace to overflow into the lives of all the parties and extended families thus affected. It can be done! It has been done! It was done by Jacob and Esau. But it all starts with you - your heart and your attitude.
Reconciliation, then, is initiated by inward renewal and is expressed in outward actions. First, reconciliation is expressed by acknowledging God’s grace. Second, reconciliation is expressed by making restitution. And third…
3. Reconciliation is expressed by acting in kindness (33:12-20). Esau acts kindly in two ways. First, Esau offers to lead the way home: “Let’s journey on our way, and I will go ahead of you” (22:12). This seems to be a genuinely kind gesture by Esau - a desire to go home together, to make their reunion public to the rest of the family; his desire for togetherness, for fellowship with Jacob, a kind and practical expression of permanent reunion. But, in contrast, Jacob is not ready for this. Often there are some practical hesitations in reconciliations. Perhaps things were moving too fast for Jacob. So, he makes the excuse that the children and animals can’t walk at their pace (33:13). Jacob said to him, “14 Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir” (33:14). At face value this response seems perfectly logical but there is a hint of the old Jacob here. There is a hint of his suspicion of Esau. Mistrust is very common in those who themselves have been deceptive. Whatever the reason, Jacob refuses to accept Esau’s kindness.
Second, Esau offers to provide protection (33:15): “ So Esau said, ‘Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.’” It seems that Esau brought these 400 men with him not to attack Jacob but to protect him on his homeward journey. But Jacob said, “What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” Jacob doesn’t even accept Esau’s offer to have some of his people travel with Jacob and his entourage. Again Esau concedes to Jacob’s resistance. In this dialogue between the two brothers Jacob is still showing the old personality and the old self-will. Even after meeting with God, some personality and behavioral characteristics don’t immediately or easily fall away.
It seems that all along Jacob had other plans (33:16-17). So, instead of keeping his word and following behind Esau and his men at a slower pace (33:14), Jacob doesn’t follow Esau at all. 16 So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. 17 But Jacob journeyed to Succoth, and built himself a house and made booths for his livestock. Therefore the name of the place is called Succoth (33:16-17). Instead of going south with Esau to Seir, Jacob goes north to Succoth where he settles down, building himself a house and shelters for his livestock.
The big question is why? Why didn’t Jacob follow Esau? And why didn’t Jacob tell Esau the truth about not following him? It seems a shame that after all that has happened - after his meeting with God, after his reconciliation with Esau, after Esau’s willingness to forgive and move on with their lives - that the two brothers now go their separate ways. There are some reasonable guesses as to why. Perhaps Jacob thought that some distance between them might be good for their future relationship. That would be reasonable since some relationships - even those that have been genuinely reconciled - are better with some distance between them. The option that I think is the most likely is that God had told him to go to Canaan, not Edom (cf. 31:3). Seir where Esau lived in Edom was not his home, Canaan was. So, to follow Esau would have led him away from Canaan, the land to which God had promised to bring him back. In fact, if you trace Jacob’s route, it seems that he is headed home to Beersheba but gets waylaid at Shechem. If this is the case, then Jacob was right to not go with Esau, but the excuse he gave was deceptive and wrong (33:14).
Now, before you condemn Jacob for this, let me ask you: Have you ever done the same? Have you ever skewed the truth rather than face further conflict? Or, not revealed your true reasons in order to preserve peace? Sometimes it’s wise to not reveal everything in our hearts, but lying is not the way to do it.
What is clear is that Jacob has his own agenda (33:18-20), for eventually he moves on from Succoth and settles in Shechem where he erects an altar and calls it El-Elohe-Israel (33:20). Shechem was the place where Abraham first heard God’s promise about the land (12:6-7). Now, Shechem is where Jacob settles, which, as chapter 34 reveals, turns out to be a bad move. Yes, he is back in Canaan, the land of his ancestors but not in Beersheba among his family as God had directed him (31:3).
In this meeting between Jacob and Esau we see two dramatically changed men. In Jacob, humility replaces arrogance, submission replaces dominance, and giving replaces taking (as in the birthright and blessing). In Esau, compassion replaces murder, warmth replaces coldness, and acceptance replaces rejection. Wrestling with God at the Jabbok changed Jacob and Esau has changed as well. And by His grace, God can change us too - our character, our attitude, our hearts, and our actions. Jacob’s character was changed from a deceiver to a leader. Jacob’s attitude was changed from arrogance to dependence. Jacob’s heart was changed from self-ambition to submission. And Esau’s character was changed from murder to affection. Esau’s attitude was changed from coldness to warmth. Esau’s heart was changed from hardness to softness.
Has this happened in your life? Most importantly, have you been reconciled to God by the death of his Son? That’s the grace of God in action for sinners who believe (Rom. 5:10). We see this being lived out by Jacob who now attributes everything to God’s grace – his children (33:5) and his wealth (33:11). Note that just as he desperately sought and received God’s blessing so now he seeks and receives Esau’s blessing. By God’s grace, Jacob sees Esau now, not as a brother to be extorted but a brother who reflects the grace of God: “For I have seen your face which is like seeing the face of God” (33:10). Though traces of the old Jacob still remain, by God’s grace Jacob finds his way home to Canaan and settles there.
So, on the one hand, this episode leaves us on a high note - the twin brothers are reconciled and Jacob, the one who ran away, comes back to his homeland with a new identity and a new dependence on God. But on the other hand, this episode leaves us a little uneasy. Jacob has once more separated from Esau and the future in Shechem is not bright. In fact, it will be a massive low point in Jacob’s life.
On this note, we come to the end of the Paddan-aram episode in Jacob’s life. Notice that this episode is bookended by two altars. It started at Bethel where he set up an altar of stones to commemorate that wonderful meeting with God in a vision: “Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it… How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven” (28:16-17). Now in Shechem, he builds another altar which he calls El-Elohe-Israel, the ever-faithful God of his fathers is Israel’s God. The God he had met at Bethel and again at the river Jabbok is indeed his God.
If you were asked to choose which of Esau and Jacob is the hero of this episode, who would it be? Jacob? Amazingly, I don’t think so. I think it is Esau! Who would have guessed how Esau would have received Jacob back into his life as he did, reunited with his twin brother after all those years and all that animosity. In this we see the grace of God in reconciliation…
I. Reconciliation is initiated by inward renewal (33:1-4)
1. Initiated by a renewed attitude (33:1-3)
2. Initiated by a renewed heart (33:4)
II. Reconciliation is expressed in outward actions (33:5-11)
1. … by acknowledging God’s grace (5-7)
2. … by making restitution (8-11)
3. … by acting in kindness (12-20)
Remember our thesis: Reconciliation is made possible through humility and love that are rooted in God’s grace. In this we also learn that God is sovereign. He works out his purposes regardless of our failures. He keeps his promises despite our foolishness.