Want to build successful relationships by experiencing and practicing authentic love in all aspects of your life.
This book will show you how authentic love can change and direct you to more meaningful and loving relationships, by taking you through seven traits of the language of love – kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty.
The author’s definition of success is “leaving your corner of the world better than you found it.” Therefore, to experience satisfying and successful relationships, we must value and love others as individuals. We must be willing to have an attitude of love that is willing to speak the love languages of others, especially when their way of receiving love differs from our own.
Authentic love is not dependent on the actions of others or circumstances; it is not self-centered; instead it displays an attitude of helping others, often in very small ways. So, it is simple, real and bold. ‘Love seeks the well-being of another and finds meaningful ways to express it.’. You have to make the choice to practice authentic love.
The seven traits that form the basis of the language of love:
Ways to acquire the habit of each of the traits:
Kindness – start by observing acts of kindness; record every act of kindness daily; make an attitude change – desire to be kind; look for opportunities to be kind; choose kind words. The enemy of kindness is bad habits.
Patience – try to be patient with people who are making you impatient. Find a ‘method to break negative patterns’ – like counting till 10! The enemy of patience is pride. We get impatient when we have been ‘inconvenienced, hurt or mistreated.’
Forgiveness – apologize for even the smallest of offences. Learn to forgive yourself, apologize for your own mistakes in your relationships and have an attitude of authentic love toward others. Fear is it’s enemy and stands in the way of forgiveness. But when you forgive someone your own heart is set free.
Courteous – start conversations with people as though they were your personal friends, give them your undivided attention, listen to understand, not judge, don’t raise your voice, and apologize graciously. Practice courtesy at home, with people who aggravate you and avoid ‘busyness’ which is the enemy of courtesy.
Humility – learn not to react to criticism; instead try to learn from the situation. Learn that you have nothing that you have not received, your knowledge of the universe is limited, and you are completely dependent on something outside yourself for life. The enemy of humility is pain.
Generosity – make a commitment to sacrifice part of your income to charity, use your abilities to benefit others, show a generous spirit to others no matter what and take time daily to show a loved one that you are interested in their well-being. The enemy of generosity is ‘our own self agenda’ .
Honesty – start by not telling even the smallest of lies on a daily basis, whether it be a white lie or not. We get into the habit of telling lies because of self-preservation which is the enemy of honesty.
In order to make the language of love a way of life, most of us need help from an outside source – God.
This book has made me think bit more on love as a way of life. It has made me want to make changes to how I love my husband, children, co-workers and strangers. I have been learning to apologize for my impatience and hurtful comments, and make sacrifices by giving of my time. I am making an effort to be patient with my elderly parents, and give them my time with love and kindness. With strangers, I am trying to show genuine interest and really listen to people I meet by making eye contact and writing down their names and small details I have garnered.
Book Information:
Book Title | Love as a Way of Life
Author | Gary Chapman
Year of Publication | 2010
Publisher | Waterbrook Press
Pages | 248