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Sayings

  • Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
  • 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
  • Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
  • Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
  • Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
  • For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
  • I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
  • The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  • I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
  • Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
  • Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
  • I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
  • Don’t be so open-minded your brains will fall out.
  • If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’...till you can find a rock.
  • Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
  • If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
  • If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
  • Don’t look back, they might be gaining on you.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses; they’re everywhere.
  • Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
  • Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
  • Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.
  • Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. Dain bramaged.