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I went over to my girlfriend’s house, and found she’d already gone out with her boyfriend.

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John Barrymore once played the role of a father who disapproved of the man his daughter planned to marry. In one scene, the daughter had to ask Barrymore what he thought of her fiancé, who had just exited. Barrymore was supposed to answer, “I think he’s a dirty dog.”

One night, when the bridegroom-to-be walked off stage, he accidentally tipped over a pitcher of water. Barrymore watched in fascination as a puddle formed. A moment later, his daughter asked, “What do you think of Tom, father?”

“I think he’s a dirty dog,” Barrymore answered. Then he ad-libbed, “And what’s more, he isn’t even housebroken!”

Bits and Pieces, December 13, 1990