Letter to Mom
The following was submitted for amusement by a person who wishes to remain anonymous.
Montana Daughter to Carolina Mother
“Im writing this slow cause I know you cant read fast. We dont live where we did when you left. My hubby read in the paper where the most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I wont know the address for awhile yet as the last Montana family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wont have to change their address.
This place were rentin has a washin machine. The first day I put four new shirts in it, pulled the chain, and I havent seen em since. It only rained twice this week: three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send that you forgot here was too heavy to send in the mail. So we cut off the big buttons and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didnt make the last payment on Auntys funeral bill, up she comes.
I heard that Sis had a baby this morning but I havent been over there yet to find out if its a boy or a girl so I dont know if Im an Aunt or an Uncle.
Our neighbor up the road fell in the whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three local kids from DeBorgia went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. The one that was driving rolled down the window and swam out. The two sitting in the back drowned. They couldnt get the tailgate down.
Not much to tell this time. Nothin much happens round here.
Love, Your Daughter