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How to Know You’re Getting Older

  • Everything hurts! and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work!
  • You feel like the night before, and you haven’t been anywhere!
  • You sit in a rocking chair and you can’t get it going!
  • Your knees buckle and your belt won’t!
  • Dialing long distance wears you out!
  • Your fortune teller offers to read your face!
  • The little gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife!
  • You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there!
  • You wake up in the morning and your water bed has sprung a leak, and you realize you don’t have a water bed!
  • When you watch a pretty girl go by, your pace-maker makes the garage door go up!
  • When you know all the answers, and no one asks you the questions!
  • When you decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it!

Strengthening Our Grip, C. Swindoll, p. 128