“Differences in Marriage – Blessing or Curse?” www.marriage101online.com
Summary: Advice on how can a couple deal effectively with their differences?
In this video, Gary and Barb Rosberg talk about the issue of “differences in marriage”. Whether you are already married or are in a premarital situation, it is important for couples to understand that our differences are god-given and are meant to compliment one another in Christian marriage.
They identify these differences as a challenging but important aspect of a strong marriage. And they highlight several important attitudes couples can adopt when working through these differences.
These include realizing differences have a purpose, the need to be teachable, the importance of seeking to understand our mate and then learning to work together as one.
Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg
Barb Rosberg: Well whether you have been married for a number of years, or you’re experiencing the anticipation of marriage, this is a really important time to examine your differences. Because, those differences are there for a reason.
They are to compliment one another. And it’s like a dance we learn over time. In fact it takes a lot of practice, experience, understanding one another’s needs, and then we get the rhythm down.
Gary Rosberg: The scripture is very clear about marriage and all the way back in the book of Genesis, here’s what we read.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
There is a sequence of leaving and cleaving and then becoming one and becoming united in that flesh, and scripture says being naked and unashamed.
But you know what folks, it takes time. It takes adjustment to get there. And what Barb and I have learned in coaching families is that it really takes a teachable heart and a teachable spirit.
As you are fleshing out all these differences and all these different expectations with each other, we want to coach you with some take-aways and some coaching tips in order to equip you to have a great marriage.
BR: Well, you’re likely coming from two different backgrounds and that’s important because we’re different. But what happens is that we try to change one another.
The best part, however, is when we try to seek to understand those differences and to come together as one.
GR: As a husband is learning more and more about his wife, what we need to do guys is be attentive to her. We need to be tuned into her.
Sometimes that is a little bit difficult. One time I was chatting with a guy and he said “Rosberg, I just don’t know what my wife wants. I try something on a Monday and it works and on a Tuesday it’s like she moves the goal post and I’m kicking the ball in the wrong direction. “
Another guy said, “Gary I’ll do something one day for my wife and it seems to work and the next day it’s like I’m starting all over again. “
The bottom line is that it can be difficult but we need to be discerning about what does our wife need.
That is the mystery of marriage.
From “Marriage 101: Back to the Basics” DVD series