A faithful person will have an abundance of blessings . . . . (Proverbs 28:20)
Faithfulness is remaining true to a commitment or promise one has made. Biblical faithfulness is two-fold; a godly man will choose to remain consistently faithful both to God and to his wife. He will exhibit behavior that is based on the fact that he made a commitment, not on how he feels at any particular moment.
Claims of unfailing love may not be a true predictor of behavior. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many people profess their loyalty, but a faithful person—who can find?” If you want to assess the likelihood of a man remaining faithful to his marriage vows, don’t ask him, observe him. Here are some things to look for.
Read Romans 1:31-32.
These are serious warning signs that may indicate a lack of commitment to purity. A man who is not committed to purity is not very likely to be committed to a vow to keep himself only for you for the rest of his life.
Watching your boyfriend’s eyes will also tell you a lot about his commitment to you and to purity.
· Do his eyes focus on you and stay on you when you are talking to him, or does he frequently turn to look at other women?
· How often do his eyes turn to seductive pictures or women when you are shopping with him?
· How often do his eyes linger on other women when you are eating in a restaurant with him?
· What kinds of magazines and books does he read? Do their pictures and content nurture lust?
· Consider the television programs, movies, and computer games he spends time on. Do their pictures and content inspire or feed lust?
A man who obsessively watches other women or feeds his mind with impurity will not be prone to faithfulness. Those habits will significantly influence his behavior choices both before and after marriage.
· How much of your boyfriend’s humor is laced with sexual overtones?
· Do his words reflect a pure heart?
· Do you want your children to talk like he does?
Read Proverbs 6:32 and 26:11 and 6:23-24.
A man who has a history of illegitimate sexual involvement (outside of marriage) shows a lack of good judgment and self-control. Unless he genuinely repents and takes steps to develop self-discipline and to avoid temptation, he is very likely to continue to repeat his error even if he marries.
· Was your boyfriend sexually involved with previous girlfriends?
If so, what evidence do you see of genuine repentance and change?
· What steps is he taking to maintain a pure relationship with you prior to marriage?
Read Proverbs 9:13-17.
The man who is amused by the thrill of getting away with something that is unethical, against the rules, or against the law has a predisposition toward foolishness and a disregard for authority that is likely to lead him into secret sexual relationships outside of his marriage. Avoid aligning yourself with such a man. He is a prime candidate for the lie, “Sex isn’t as much fun if you’re married; a secret relationship is more exciting.”
· What does this mean?
· Is your boyfriend a good help and support in hard times?
· Based on his current behavior, what can you expect from him in the future when life is difficult or painful?
· Does he keep his promises to God?
· How does he plan what is good?
· What evidence do you see that he fears the Lord?