What they say: “It could be one of several things.”
What they mean: “I haven’t the foggiest idea what’s wrong with you.”

What they say: “Are you sure you haven’t had this before?”
What they mean: “Because you’ve got it again.”

What they say: “I’d like to run that test again.”
What they mean: “The lab lost your blood sample.”

What they say: “Insurance should cover most of this.”
What they mean: “You’ll have to sell your house to cover the rest.”

What they say: “These pills have very few side effects.”
What they mean: “You may experience sudden hair growth on your palms.”

What they say: “Why don’t you go over your symptoms with me one more time.”
What they mean: “I don’t remember who you are.”

What they say: “There’s a lot of this going around.”
What they mean: “And we’ll give it a name as soon as we figure out what it is.”

David Grimes in Sarasota Herald-Tribune, quoted in Reader’s Digest, May, 1994, p. 112