A sidewalk interviewer asked a retired man what he thought of the two candidates for an election.
“When I look at them,” the retired man replied, “I’m thankful only one of them can get elected.”

Three men were arguing over which profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon: “The Bible says Eve was made by carving a rib out of Adam. I guess that makes mine the oldest profession.”

“Not at all,” said the engineer. “In six days the earth was created out of chaos—and that was an engineer’s job.”
Said the politician: “Yes, but who created the chaos?”

After giving what he considered a stirring, fact-filled campaign speech, the candidate looked out at this audience and confidently asked, “Now are there any questions?”

“Yes,” came a voice from the back of the room. “Who else is running?”

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