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Not long ago a well-meaning group of laymen came from a neighboring church to se me. They wanted me to advise them on some convenient and painless method of getting rid of their pastor. I’m afraid, however, that I wasn’t much help to them. At the time I had not had the occasion to give the matter serious thought. But since then I have pondered the matter a great deal, and the next time anyone comes for advice on how to get rid of a pastor, here’s what I’ll tell him:

1. Look the pastor straight in the eye while he’s preaching and say “Amen” once in a while and he’ll preach himself to death.

2. Pat him on the back and brag on is good points and he’ll probably work himself to death.

3. Rededicate your life to Christ and ask the preacher for some job to do, preferably some lost person you could win to Christ, and he’ll die of heart failure.

4. Get the church to unite in prayer for the preacher and he’ll soon become so effective that some larger church will take him off your hands.

Quoted in You and Your Pastor, Radio Bible Class