(Sing to the tune of “Home on the Range”)

Oh, give me a bed,
just a hospital bed
and let me sleep all through the night.
Whatever you do,
please don’t wake me at two,
let me sleep til the dawn’s early light.

First Chorus:

Sleep, glorious sleep,
don’t wake me at three for a shot.
Can’t you see, my dear nurse,
that I’m just getting worse
when you wake me at three on the dot'

How often at night
do you turn on my light
for a temp’rature check or a test,
Then I lie here and toss,
getting angry and cross,
will I ever get some rest'

Second Chorus:

Sleep, glorious sleep,
don’t wake me to wa-ash my face,
Let me lie here asleep
in a slumber so deep,
or I’ll get out of this place.

You woke me at two,
now I’m pleading with you,
go away and just leave me alone,
I don’t want to count sheep,
I just want to sleep,
if I need you I’ll call on the phone.

Third Chorus:

Sleep, glorious sleep,
don’t wake me at three or at four,
Let me sleep through the night
til the dawn’s early light,
and I’ll never come here any more!

Source unknown