1. The man on the top of the mountain didn’t fall there. - Joe Kosanovic’s Dad

2. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. - Rich Constand’s Dad

3. Marry a big woman; someone to give you shade in the summer and warmth in the winter. - Bill Bodin’s Dad

4. An excuse is a poor patch for the garment of failure. - Bruce Ley’s Dad

5. Never try to catch two frogs with one hand. - Rea Hunt’s Dad

6. Always throw away the box when you take the last piece of candy. - Paul Whalen’s Dad

7. Honesty is like a trail, once you get off it you realize you are lost. - Mark Young’s Dad

8. Remember who you are and where you came from. - Thomas Leone’s Dad

9. Wherever you are in life, first make friends with the cook. - Bill Lewis’s Dad

10. Don’t shake the tree too hard, you never know what might fall out. - Timothy Davis’s Dad

11. A closed mouth gathers no feet. - John Beard, Jr.’s Dad

12. Measure twice, cut once. - Sandra Schultz’s Dad

13. The second time you get kicked in the head by a mule it’s not a learning experience. - Ebb Dozier, Jr.’s Dad

14. Never buy anything that eats. - Neal Bashor’s Dad

15. You need to do what you have to do before you can do what you want to do. - Reed Caster’s Dad

16. Well, you know what happens when you wrestle with pigs, you get all dirty and they love it. - Dennie Morgan’s Dad

17. This is a democratic family; everyone gets a vote and I get five. - Carolee Wende’s Dad

18. I buy you books and buy you books, and all you do is read the covers. - Kelley Blaner’s Dad

19. If you’re afraid to go too far, you will never go far enough. - Kasey Warner’s Dad

20. If you don’t need it, don’t buy it. - Nicholas Pieroni’s Dad

21. Selling is just like shaving, if you don’t do it every day you’re a bum. - Mark Johnson’s Dad

22. If this is the worst thing that happens to you in life, don’t worry about it. - John Taylor’s Dad

23. Never be so broke that you cannot afford to pay attention. - Michael Brose’s Dad

24. You live to work, you work to live, but if you work to work, I hope you don’t live by me. - Cole Thurman’s Dad

25. If it is to be, it’s up to me. - Jeff Wilson’s Dad

26. Successful people make a habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do. - Charles H. Deal, Jr.’s Dad

27. Don’t let your studies interfere with your education. - Eber Smith’s Dad

28. Don’t be foolish just because you know how to. - Maynard Alfstad’s Dad

29. Marry your best friend. - Patrice Altenhofen’s Dad

30. Peer pressure is a crack in the armor of your own conviction. - Peter W. Troy’s Dad

31. Knowing what’s right from wrong is education, doing what’s right is execution. The latter is the hard part. - Bambi Troy’s Dad

32. The difference always is attitude. - Suzie Slater’s Dad

33. You have to eat an elephant in small bites - John Burke’s Dad

34. The one who quits last—wins. - Paul Gesl’s Dad

35. Potential means you haven’t done your best yet. - Melissa and Nicholas West’s Dad

36. Do you know what happened when I found out all the answers? They changed all the questions. - Carmella Leone’s Dad

37. The golden rule: the guy who’s got the gold makes the rules. - Paul Wagner’s Dad

38. If everybody else is doing it, it is probably wrong. - Karl K. Warner’s Dad

From U.S.A. Today, Monday, June 15, p. 11c.